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Saying Thanks at Work
A little gratitude goes a long way in the workplace. So why aren't you getting any?
Saying thanks can have positive impact on bottom line - and on mental health.
By Jennifer Newman and Darryl Grigg
CanWest News Service
Vancouver Sun
Monday, March 22, 2004
It sometimes seems difficult to extract a thank you from someone at work. Many
employees we hear from complain of a dearth of appreciation for their efforts.
They long for a pat on the back, even an appreciative smile or some indication
they've done something that has helped out.
Unfortunately, thank yous happen infrequently. Yet research indicates
organizations that value gratitude benefit through increased performance.
Customer retention increases, staff loyalty and job satisfaction are heightened and
salespeople are more helpful to customers when they feel appreciated.
Gratitude means counting one's blessings, appreciating the benefits other people
provide and dwelling on the favorable aspects of one's life.
Gratitude has a positive impact on the bottom line and, most significantly, on
psychological health.
Psychologists Robert Emmons of the University of California and Michael
McCullough at the University of Miami found adopting a grateful attitude
contributes to overall well being.
In a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
the researchers randomly assigned 192 college students to three groups: those
who recorded things they were grateful for; those who listed hassles they
encountered; and those who recorded events that merely had an impact.
The study noted people who were encouraged to focus on what they were thankful
for every day experienced more comfortable emotions (excitement, enthusiasm,
interest, joy and strength) than those who dwelt on life's hassles (parking tickets,
dirty dishes, rude drivers).
The grateful ones tended to lend a hand more readily and offered emotional
support to others. They were better rested and felt more connected to others. They
seemed to be more optimistic and were more satisfied with life as a whole.
So given these findings, why is it such a challenge to generate appreciative
behavior at work?
In our practice, we have discovered seven personality types who eschew
expressions of gratitude:
1. Gratitude misers: It's their job.
People who have difficulty being grateful don't know why they should thank
someone for doing the job the individual was hired to do.
They may say, "the paycheck is the thank you" or "everyone knows I'm grateful for
the work they do." Either way, appreciation is not shared, and colleagues,
superiors and staff never benefit from hearing "thank you."
2. Rugged individuals: It makes me feel dependent.
Workers who have trouble appreciating others' efforts are often afraid to rely on
anyone. When people are grateful, they are acknowledging they need other
people to be effective and successful. This can be frightening.
3. Suspicious types: They'll take advantage of me.
These people truly believe showing gratitude is a weakness and if they reveal a
need, others will take advantage of them. Saying "thank you" or "I couldn't have
done it without you" makes them uneasy.
Fears colleagues may see their faults, limitations or needs and use them as
artillery in the future, drive away appreciative behavior.
The idea gratitude makes you appear "soft" and people will slack off if they know
they are appreciated undermines gratefulness on the job.
4. Record keepers: I'll be indebted.
Some workers fear interpersonal debt. Recognizing a favor, accepting an
appreciative gesture or offering a thank you creates concerns about owing favors
to others.
Rather than acknowledge someone's help, this type prefers to ignore, dismiss or
downplay helpful behavior.
Secretly, the person may delight in getting something for nothing, making it all the
more difficult to acknowledge or appreciate another's efforts.
5. Pessimists: It's a big hassle.
Staff who dwell on the half-empty cup focus mainly on life's little irritants - spilled
coffee, the document that didn't get couriered in time, the rise in gas prices - and
usually ask: "What is there to be grateful for? Look at this mess!"
They may be bewildered there is anything worth appreciating, or irritated by the
suggestion gratitude is good for them.
Sometimes cynical, self-righteous or outraged, they may get overwhelmed by
irritation, oppression and frustration. In this state, many may find it impossible to
even notice their general good fortune or recognize how others contribute to their
work life.
6. The Blinkered: I don't know what you're talking about.
These workers move through the day oblivious to how they are supported by
others at work. Moments to express gratitude may arise but they cannot see them.
Unaware of how people are contributing to their success, they seem to take staff
for granted, and misunderstand other people's need for acknowledgment and
recognition.
When told they seem ungrateful and that co-workers feel unappreciated by them,
they seem genuinely surprised.
7. The Entitled: I'm owed.
These people believe they deserve good things due to their status or relative
superiority.
Saying thank you for what they feel is simply due them seems beneath them.
Workers who believe they are better than others in some way are reluctant to be
appreciative, lest it appear they are on the same level as those who help them.
There may be a belief good things are coming their way due solely to their
attributes, and being fortunate has nothing to do with it. Resentment can be
palpable among colleagues and direct reports when all the credit for a project is
taken and acknowledgement, if any, is half-hearted.
Taking steps to add gratitude to one's life may seem risky or unnecessary at first,
but Emmons and McCullough discovered counting five blessings every day, even
just for two weeks, made a significant difference. Give it a try.
You may thank yourself for it.
Jennifer Newman and Darryl Grigg are registered psychologists and directors of
Newman & Grigg Psychological and Consulting Services Ltd., a Vancouver-based
corporate training and development partnership. They can be contacted at:
[email protected].