Download RUNNING HEAD: UNCERTAINTY IN DEFINING A RELATIONSHIP

RUNNING HEAD: UNCERTAINTY IN DEFINING A RELATIONSHIP
Relational Uncertainty: Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
Caleb Richardson
University of Kentucky
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Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
Abstract
My topic is the Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship dealing with the hard decision of
expressing your feelings for a friend that and taking a friendship to a more romantic level is
where the creation of uncertainty begins. Through the research of the studies I found were that
with relational maintenance behaviors and communication can increase intimacy with the
uncertainty reduction theory, and with commitment indicators can assure that the uncertainty in
the partner will decrease and guarantees the faithfulness of your partner.
Keywords: Intimacy, Relational Maintenance, Commitment Indicators
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Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
Relational Uncertainty: Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
Uncertainty can defined into three main categories. Self-uncertainty deals with the
question one has about their participation in the relationship. Partner uncertainty is the doubts
that individuals have about their partner’s participation in the relationship. Relational uncertainty
is more of the uncertainty of the partner’s faithfulness during the relationship. But also their can
be the awkward uncertainty in defining what you and your partner are. Uncertainty in
relationships and their definition can be affected by communication, relational maintenance and
commitment indicators. With the research on the studies of uncertainty allows me to form some
advice for the individuals that are uncertain if they should take their friendship to a romantic
relationship.
Literature Review
Communication Increases Intimacy
Movies always portray that a friendship of male and female is simply platonic, and then
one of the partners begins to develop feelings for the other but afraid and confused how to
express their feelings of new found love. While Hollywood isn’t too far off the topic of
uncertainty, there are some details that are left out. Laura K. Guerrero & Alana Chavez (2005) ”
Relational Maintenance in Cross-Sex Friendship Characterized by Different Types of Romanic
Intent: An Exploratory Study” focused on the creation of uncertainty and how to characterize a
cross-sex friendship. Guerrero & Chavez (2005) states that being in a “cross-sex friendship can
be complicated, with ambiguity about the potential romantic or sexual nature of the relationship
creating uncertainty” (p.340). Once the sexual nature is identified through a sexual encounter,
thus begins the uncertainty of the next step. With the creation of uncertainty one or both the
friends may communicate if the friendship should turn into a romantic relationship; this is where
the sexual tension begins to increase. Guerrero (2005) describes there as being four types of
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friendships. Mutual romance is where both partners believe that their friendship should turn into
a romantic relationship. Strictly platonic is the complete opposite, where both partners believe
that both want to stay in the friendship and do so. This may or may not come after the sexual
encounter. Desire romance is just what it sounds like. One participant thinks the friendship
should be more of a romantic relationship, but perceives that the other partner does not. Lastly
there is the rejection romance, which also is what it sounds like. One sadly misguided partner
truly believes that the other partner wants to have a romantic relationship, but when they go to
express their feelings they are hit with cold hard reality. Things are never really the same after
between friends once ones feelings are rejected. To ultimately save a friendship relational
maintenance and the communication involved must be a factor. (Guerrero & Chavez, 2005)
Commitment Indicators
In “Everyday Expressions of Commitment and Relational Uncertainty as predicators of
Relationship Quality and Stability over Time” Daniel J. Weigel , Camille Brown, and Calin Kulp
O’Riordan (2011) discuss that uncertainty is not particularly a bad thing in relationships because
relational uncertainty also might influence the type of communication in potential committed
relationship, but indicated by lower use of commitment indicators. These indicators could be
anything that a partner does to express or indicate their commitment to their other partner. For
example talking about their future with each other can be perceived as a commitment indicator.
Another example of how the study defined what a commitment indicator was that the partners
become comfortable in their own routine behaviors that reinforce their commitment
(p.39).Within a more technology based relationship uses mobile phones or other CMC (computer
mediated communication), a routine such as calling during the day to make plans instead of a
text can be seen as a commitment indicator. In an article by Borae Jin & Jorge Peña (2010)
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mobile aspect still can affect commitment levels and decrease uncertainty. Jin & Peña (2010)
goes into more detail about how the greater use of mobile voice calls with a romantic partner was
related with less relational uncertainty and increased love and commitment. Their study also
compares the better relational function is directly correlated with face-to-face communication,
but how the larger use of mobile phones would be also beneficial to relational partners. The
everyday routine talk with the relational partner serves to form cohesion between the two, and
these talks function as a commitment indicator. There also a negative effect to making a mobile
phone conversation a daily routine. If the routine turns into “avoidance or the tendency to steer
clear to intimate contact due to discomfort with closeness, and anxiety or the strong desire for
closeness coupled with fear of abandonment”. This can cause relational uncertainty between
romantic partners. For more information on relational uncertainty in CMC , check out by clicking
here.
Early on initial encounters with new people, a partner might seek information to lessen
uncertainty and people’s openness to talk about sensitive subjects. However, a partner might
choose to keep a sensitive subject personal or not to use commitment indicators (e.g., kissing,
holding hands, sex). The lower the use of commitment indicators the increase in uncertainty
about the future of the relationship, an as the relationship is being defined the roles of the
uncertainty may change. Meaning that the degree of confidence people have in their perceptions
of involvement with others can increase with the use of commitment indicators. (Cupach &
Spitzberg, 2011). Not only is there confidence in the partner there is confidence in the
relationship, because higher levels of commitment are associated with more frequent expressions
of commitment. (p.46)
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Relational Maintenance
If you and your partner decide the friendship should move to a more romantic phase, the
maintenance behaviors and communication are performed to continue to reduce uncertainty
making it a key factor to a smooth transition into establishing a relationship. Marianne Dainton’s
(2003) study on “Equity and Uncertainty in Relational Maintenance” focuses on how
communication as an inevitable factor that comes from uncertainty leads to defining relationship.
During the study Dainton (2003) identifies five relational maintenance strategies. First is the
assurance to your partner of their importance to you in the relationship. Openness is the strategy
that deals with directly discusses their feelings about the relationship. Positivity deals with trying
to keep the mood of the relationship upbeat and enjoyable. The strategy of sharing tasks involves
the performance of instrumental activities and social medias (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram)
that can also cause uncertainty in a relationship (p.165). Maintenance behaviors are used to
sustain desired relational states between the two confused individuals. Dainton (2003) believes
that the use of these maintenance behaviors and communication can manage the relationship
uncertainty. (Dainton, 2003)
Every relationship wants to have a high intimacy, but to increase intimacy first partners
must decrease uncertainty. Jennifer A. Theiss & Denise Solomon (2008) “Parsing the
Mechanisms that Increase Relational Intimacy: The Effects of Uncertainty Amount Uncertainty,
and the Reduction of Uncertainty” revealed that the uncertainty reduction process is directly
inverted to increase the intimacy in the relationship. The uncertainty reduction theory best
explains that less uncertainty corresponds with greater intimacy (p. 626). Uncertainty
complicates communication, but does not necessarily put personal or relational well-being at
risk. Theiss & Solomon (2008) is saying that, though the thought of uncertainty is a negative one
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uncertainty is actually okay because it benefits the development of an intimate relationship with
the right maintenance. (Theiss & Solomon, 2008)
Translational Advice
From the research that I have studied and the nature of uncertainty, likely changes in
establishing and turning a friendship to a relationship are hard to do with uncertainty playing a
factor. So I have come up with this advice to reduce uncertainty to an individual that are unsure
about if they should open up to one of their friends about romantic feelings.
If your apart of a cross-sex friendship that has the potential of becoming a romantic
relationship, or feel the creation of uncertainty becoming a problem in your friendship check out
the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center website by clicking here. I not promoting or
discoursing the movement toward romance, but it’s “likely to be an important and sometimes
difficult part of relational maintenance in a uncertain relationship”. (Guerrero & Chavez, 342)
One factor that can’t play in your decision is the “fear of rejection”, because even if your
platonic friend does not see you as more as a romantic partner. They could develop those feelings
for you.
Once the relationship is define as more than a friendship there is maintenance behavior,
which is by definition used to sustain desired relational states. To reduce the relational
uncertainty that can creep into a relationship. The equity theory expects that a relational partner
believes that his or her relationship is equitable when the relational satisfaction is at its peak.
Negative emotions such as seeing your partner as over benefitted or feeling under benefitted can
negatively impact the relational satisfaction creating uncertainty.
Lastly, If you do plan on taking a cross-sex friendship to a romantic relationship. My
advice to you is that communication can go a long way. Not all communication has to be verbal
Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
either, like the commitment indicators can be a non- verbal communication that can reduce the
uncertainty and increase the confidence of your partner. Though the point of my paper was to
reduce uncertainty, that uncertainty can provide the communication that a potential relationship
needs.
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Uncertainty in Defining a Relationship
References
Dainton, M. (2003). Equity and uncertainty in relational maintenance. Western Journal Of
Communication, 67(2), 164-186.
Guerrero, L. K., & Chavez, A. M. (2005). Relational maintenance in cross-sex friendships
characterized by different types of romantic intent: an exploratory study. Western Journal
Of Communication, 69(4), 339-358. doi:10.1080/10570310500305471
Jin, B., & Peña, J. F. (2010). Mobile communication in romantic relationships: Mobile Phone
use, relational uncertainty, love, commitment, and attachment styles. Communication
Reports, 23(1), 39-51. doi:10.1080/08934211003598742
Theiss, J. A., & Solomon, D. (2008). Parsing the Mechanisms that Increase Relational Intimacy:
The Effects of Uncertainty Amount, Open Communication About Uncertainty, and the
Reduction of Uncertainty. Human Communication Research, 34(4), 625-654.
doi:10.1111/j.1468-2958.2008.00335.x
Weigel, D. J., Brown, C., & O'Riordan, C. (2011). Everyday Expressions of Commitment and
Relational Uncertainty as Predictors of Relationship Quality and Stability over Time.
Communication Reports, 24(1), 38-50. doi:10.1080/08934215.2010.511400