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Chaplain
Chatter
In This Issue:
Newsletter of the Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains
Pastoral Reflection
2
Summer 2014
In This Issue:
Pastoral Reflection
2
Society to Hold Fall Conference
3
A Chaplain Reflects on the Work of Robin Williams
4
Meet the Executive Committee
6
I Remember a Heartbeat
8
Member Offers New Blog
10
Spirituality in an Addiction Detox/Rehab Unit
12
News and Notes
14
Upcoming Events
15
Pastoral Reflection
The non-profit organization, Big Brothers/Big Sisters offers adult mentors a way to
help underprivileged youth in a variety of ways. The Big Brother/Big Sister offers his or
her caring presence so that the Little Brother/Little Sister may know what it means to
have someone who really is concerned about him/her.
In a similar way, I have felt that I had a “Big Sister” in Chaplaincy when I first met
the Rev. Carolyn Montgomery at my very first Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains event in
the Lehigh Valley, probably in 1996 or 1997. By “taking me under wing” and sharing
with me her vast wealth of experience, I felt as if I had someone to whom I might turn if
I had any questions – especially as I ventured into that “lion’s den” called CPE. 
Since then, I have had the privilege of working with a resident at another
hospital. Although I believe that as the BCC my pastoral experience was a benefit to
her, I also know that her freshness in the field was a blessing to me. Today we are
colleagues as flex chaplains in the hospital where we spent several shifts together during
her training.
Is there a chaplaincy training program in the facility where you work or in a
nearby facility? If so, might there be opportunities for you to share your knowledge with
chaplains in training? Perhaps you may work in a specialty setting (hospice, NICU,
pediatrics, etc.). You have valuable experience from which the next generation of
chaplains might benefit.
The cumulative experience that we, the chaplains of The Pennsylvania Society of
Chaplains have can be an excellent resource for new chaplains. Perhaps you may think
of inviting a new chaplain to join, or share a conference brochure with that person. Just
as both the Big Brother/Big Sister and the Little Brother/Little Sister benefit from their
relationship, so too can our sharing with chaplaincy residents and interns be mutually
beneficial.
As always, I welcome your thoughts on this matter for use in a future issue of
Chaplain Chatter.
Marianne C. Sailus, B.C.C.
Publications Editor
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Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains
to Hold Fall Conference
The Fall Conference of The Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains will be held from
Sunday, October 12th through Tuesday, October 14th at The Bonjiorno Conference Center
in Carlisle, PA.
The topic for this fall’s event is: “Thanatology and Spiritual Care.” The keynote
speaker is Dr. Terry L. Martin. Dr. Martin is an Associate Professor of Psychology and
Thanatology at Hood College, Frederick, MD.
Professor Martin has both academic and applied interests in the fields of
thanatology and gerontology. He has published widely on these topics, has developed and
taught several new graduate courses in thanatology and was instrumental in developing
Hood's Summer Institute in Thanatology. Professor Martin is a Certified Grief Therapist
and maintains a private practice specializing in dying and grief-related issues. He also
consults with several local hospices, nursing homes and the U.S. Veterans Administration,
and volunteers for Camp Jamie, a weekend camp for bereaved children sponsored by
Hospice of Frederick County.
Dr. Martin has writing more than a dozen chapters of various books, and also coauthored two books with Dr. Kenneth Doka: Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the
Ways Men and Women Mourn (2010), and Men Don’t Cry, Women Do: Transcending
Gender Stereotypes of Grief (1999). He will present three sessions: “Mourning and the
Principles of Counseling the Bereaved,” and “Dying and Principles of Caring for the Dying,”
and “Historical and Multicultural Perspectives in Thanatology.”
In addition, Carolanne B. Hauck, BCC, NACC, Director of Chaplaincy Care and
Education, Lancaster General Hospital, will present the session, “Ministering to the
Survivors of Infant Death.” Chaplain Eric Stenman, of Hanover Hospital, will moderate the
opening session, “Consider the Conversation,” a DVD presentation with panel discussion.
For those members requiring CEs, a total of ten continuing education credits are
available (if attending all sessions). The Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains Membership
Meeting will be held Monday, October 13th at 3:00 P.M. All members attending the event
are encouraged to be present and participate.
Members have received full information and a registration form. If you are a
member and have not received these as yet, please contact Kelly Kleckner at
[email protected] at your earliest convenience so she can e-mail this information to
you.
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A Chaplain Reflects on the Work of Robin Williams
I am one of millions of people Robin Williams touched throughout his career as an
“out of orbit” funnyman. But sometimes it is this “out of orbit stuff” that enables us to not
take life so seriously, to be human, and to be able to laugh at ourselves. It is a gift to be
able to use one’s talents, even if these talents may seem like a curse to the beholder. If we
listened carefully to Robin’s dialogs in many of his films we would have a hard time
separating the script from his real life responses. His heart went into his script/dialog and
that is what was so moving for me as a spectator to watch and understand. What he was
saying or conveying spoke to a much deeper level than just for the humor.
For example, the pain he conveyed in Mrs. Doubtfire of being a parent that was
separated from his child brought tears of pain many a separated couple so often feels
when the relationship is severed, or visits are sporadic, at best. The pain his character
went through just to be with his child is parallel to the contortions many parents go through
just to share a little bit of time with the offspring they brought into this world.
The Bird Cage examined the awkwardness of being gay and the many trials the
homosexual lifestyle can experience. As with all people, the caring relationships
established and endeared are very important to those involved in them.
But the one movie in which Robin Williams starred that affected me the most was
Patch Adams. Although the humor was exaggerated, it reminded me that as chaplains
sometimes we enter a patient’s room with hands folded in the praying position and a
morbid look on our faces that would put the fear of death, instead of the love of God, into
the patient!
Finding a patient’s funny bone may be the entrance to his or her heart. When fear
seems overwhelming or when physical or emotional pain seems to be the center focus,
unexpected humor may help to lighten the patient’s concerns. With humor, the patient
may seem less threatened, is more receptive of what is being said, and is not weighed
down with concrete thoughts, but is lifted up by the lightness of humor. Making fun of
ourselves and enjoying a laugh together with the patient can be just what the patient needs
and is what Robin showed us. Often healing is more apt to happen when one has a
lightened heart.
I was a patient over fifty years ago and recuperating in the hospital for thirty days. I
can still recall my minister uncle’s visit. After he entered the room and asked about my
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condition, he lightened the atmosphere with a couple of corny jokes. Then he talked to the
man with whom I was sharing the room and asked about his well-being. He came back to
me and got a little more serious and then asked if I would like to have a prayer. He also
asked my roommate if he would like to be included in the prayer. After the prayer he
closed with some light talk and wished me and my roommate well and left. My roommate
(who I found out was an agnostic) thanked him and told me how he appreciated that
visited after my uncle left. I also remember how much better I felt after his visit
Back to Williams and the scene of the confrontation he was having with his
supervisor in Patch Adams. Adams puts his red clown nose on his face and said, “It’s not
the man with pneumonia in room 305 but it is Mr. Jones in room 305 who has pneumonia.”
I was in the middle of my internship when I saw the film and it really hit home with me. To
this day I note the names of the patients before entering their room and call them by name.
I try to keep it light when appropriate, offer prayer when desired, and yes I carry a red
rubber nose in my pocket!
Chaplain Rich Conant, Einstein Montgomery, PA
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Meet the Executive Committee
Rev. Dorothy Shelly, Event Facility Liaison
Note: In order for all of our members to get to better know the leadership team, we are
reinstating a feature entitled, “Meet the Executive Committee.” We will be
periodically featuring one or another member of the team, and including a photo of
that member for those who may not yet know him or her. This issue we are
featuring the Rev. Dorothy Shelly, our “Poet Laureate,” and long-time member.
Dorothy Shelly has served as a chaplain in a faith-based long - term care facility
with Phoebe Ministries since 1996. Presently, as well, she is serving as a part-time interim
parish pastor in Bucks County. She is a graduate of Lancaster Theological Seminary.
She is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ and has held leadership
positions with the Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains and the United Church of Christ
Professional Chaplains and Counselors.
Dorothy’s first career was in nursing. “Being a nurse has certainly enlightened my
ministry of pastoral care. The two journeys have meshed well. Both are all about people
and relationships.”
A lover of good poetry, Dorothy is a passionate perennial flower gardener and an
advocate for frequent get-a-ways to Vermont. “Anybody See My Shoes? Poetic
Reflections From A Chaplain” and “don’t wait too long: Poetic Reflections” are her
published books. Several of her poems have appeared in The Journal of pastoral Care
and Counseling, the periodical Faith @ Work, and Vermont Magazine.
A long-time member of Pennsylvania Society of Chaplains (beginning when it was
still affiliated with HAP), Dorothy serves as Event Facility Liaison. She works closely with
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PSoC President, Chaplain John Fureman, PSoC Administrative Assistant, Kelly Klecker,
as well as the contact person at The Philip Bonjiorno Conference Center in Carlisle in
securing our contract, rooms, and meals. In general, Dorothy strives to make sure our
conference attendees are pleased with their arrangements at our events. She also
chooses the lovely plants that attendees receive at both the fall and spring conferences,
adding beauty to the events.
Dorothy is married to Bruce since 1970, and resides in Telford (Franconia
Township), PA. They have one daughter, Donna, and a granddaughter, Kennedy, who
reside in Bedford, PA.
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I REMEMBER A HEARTBEAT
I remember that it was late afternoon, I was doing rounds. I met a new patient just after doctors
confirmed the worst: there was nothing that could be done. TM was young and alone. Her water
broke; her first baby was coming too early. A medical procedure in the morning would end the
pregnancy and baby would die. I remember her face, her tears, her story, her baby. I sat with her.
It would take hours for her husband to get to the hospital. It was just the three of them, no other
family or friends in the city, in the country. They had just arrived in America, full of hope for a new
future, for their new family. Now hope was gone.
I sat with TM and we counted baby’s heartbeats together. As long as there was a heartbeat he was
alive. This was precious time, sacred space. We listened together, hand-in-hand. The lights were
off. The sun slowly set outside her window.
TM was Muslim, I am a Christian. We talked about the meaning of life, motherhood, what would
happen to baby after he died. We talked about his name – every baby has a name, even one
sosmall. We counted heartbeats together.
TWO THINGS:
First, I still remember. The life and death of this precious baby boy stays with me. It informs how
I come to my next patient/family. It impacts how I relate to the rest of the medical team. It colors
who I am when I enter into the grief of another. It is part of the fabric of my own journey with grief. I
still can hear his heartbeat. It is the heartbeat of life; it did not end with death. It continues in
memory, in relationship, in love.
Second, I gain courage when I remember. Remembering in itself is a celebration of life, of
death, of meaning, of relationship.Just a simple moment in my day remains with both of us for the
rest of our lives – because we remember. As TM mourned her child and grieved his death she did
so in time and space that I helped create and protect. I am honored to have been a part of Baby
M’s story.
Ministry that crosses culture, language, faiths and is all about the death of a baby is hard work. I
could have chosen other patients to see, other work to be done. It was daunting to enter that room
– and yet, when I focused on a baby’s heartbeat I found the courage to stay. God blessed my
courage to both of us.
How many times do we look up at a monitor and only see numbers, a prognosis, an outcome?
Don’t miss the moment. Engage, dive in.
A REMEMBERANCE RITUAL:
I wrote the following poem while waiting to adopt our first child. It is dedicated to GaoBian who
died in China before we could bring her safely home. The words also echo the pain and awe of
being the parent of a baby lost in miscarriage. We were eight glorious weeks pregnant.
I created the candle lighting ritual to express the agony of “not knowing” what either of my first two
babies look like. I wrote it to remember that my heart knows what my eyes never saw. I share it
for others who know my sorrow. I read it for myself to remember and to heal again. I share it so
that others can heal and remember together.
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I have used this poem as a candle lighting ritual of a yearly Service to Remember, part of a
perinatal loss bereavement program I developed in Urban Philadelphia.
I Light A Candle To Remember
I light this candle for you
my precious little one
to remember that I love you
from the moment God gave you life
to remember that I know you
without ever holding you in my arms
to remember that you are beautiful
even though my eyes never gazed into your tiny face
to remember that you bring me joy
without ever hearing your voice
to remember that you bring me hope
even though our dreams were never born
and still
I know you, I love you.
You have touched my life
so quietly, so wonderfully
and in your own special way.
I will never be the same because I will always remember
I will always love you.
I light this candle
to show others that I remember
so that we can remember you together today. 
Chaplain Shari Hofstetter, MAR, M.Div.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Copyright 1997
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Member Offers New Blog
Chaplain Chuck Shelquist of the Western Maryland Health System has begun a blog with
reflections on various aspects of ministry. The following is from his blog: http://cms.shelquist.us
which he invites our members to visit.
SEPT. 5 – SORTING OUT THE CONFUSION
This picture is copied from a catalogue that sells clergy shirts. It illustrates the
mystery I became involved in today. I received a common page through the Call
Center. A patient wanted to see a priest. Our protocol is for a chaplain to visit the
patient first, and then when we call the priest we can give him a better description of
the reason he is needed. This patient was not defined as Catholic on our census list,
so I checked at the nurse’s station before visiting the patient to make sure I had been
given the correct room number from the operator. The room and number and patient
were confirmed. When I saw him he told why he wanted to see the priest. I exited
the room to contact the priest. I was surprised to learn from the priest that he had
been there at 5:30 AM at the request of one of our chaplain volunteers.
When I told the patient he was sleeping when the priest we there he assured me he
had not gotten any rest and there must be a mistake. So I went to the nurse’s station
to see what they knew about the 5 AM request for a priest. The staff noticed the
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priest arrive and also saw that he went to the wrong room. So I called the priest back
and explained what had happened. The priest assured me he had gone to the correct
room. I then went back to the patient and told him the priest would be into see him in
the afternoon. I also told him requests for a priest are rarely as confusing to arrange
as this one was.
When I asked him what I could do for him in the meantime, he appeared surprised
that I was still willing engage in conversation after we finally had the priest request
item solved. He did share with his fears and how he prefers to be independent, and
his illness is keeping him from being independent. I assured him that losing
independence is something that most people do not like when it happens to them. He
let me pray with him and through the tears that flowed I could tell the visit had helped
him release some of his pent up emotions.
I marveled about the visit as I looked back on it later in the day. The first portion of
the visit had me feeling more like a private detective than a chaplain. The second
part of the visit suddenly morphed into an opportunity for me to help the patient
process emotions. That opportunity to process emotions could have been lost if I had
stopped at the fact finding segment. But once I was able to move beyond fact finding
the patient and I were able to form a relationship where enough trust was present to
allow honest sharing of emotions to take place. This encounter proves again that one
never knows what unexpected turns will take place in task of meeting the patient’s
needs.
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SPIRITUALITY in an addiction Detox/rehab unit
James J. Castello MBA, MA, BCC (Ret.)
In January of 2008, I was hired to be a Chaplain/Director of Pastoral Care of a small, community
hospital in New York State. Being a former corporate marketing executive, I have been trained to
look for the largest needs in the environment I serve. In this case, I was quickly led to provide the
most spiritual care to the patients and staff of the hospital’s Detox/Rehab unit. While feeling called
to this unit, I was very apprehensive about being able to meet patient’s spiritual needs since I had no
training on how to relate to and work with mental health patients. This article is about what I
learned in this marvelous unit.
Thankfully, the Lord provided consistently strong connections with many of these beautiful,
troubled and very vulnerable people. After a few months in this unit, I discovered these patients
had a lot in common: total unawareness of the spiritual warfare they face; high percentage of
childhood abuse; raised in highly dysfunctional families; definite control issues; perfectionism;
extremely low self-esteem; guilt, shame; clinical depression; around half are bi-polar; and most
have real problems with forgiveness – i.e., trouble in forgiving others, in receiving God’s
forgiveness and, most of all, an inability to forgive themselves.
Spiritual Warfare: Very few people in this unit are aware of the battle they are in between good and
evil, God and Satan. Thus, they are unaware that their addiction to drugs, alcohol or both may be an
attempt to self-medicate their emotional pain or an attempt to “fill the hole in their soul”, a hole that
only God can fill. They may also be unaware that Satan, the Great Deceiver, may keep playing the
same old negative tapes in their heads. Those tapes need to be erased and removed via prayer for
healing and replaced by the grace of the Holy Spirit.
Childhood abuse: We can never discount the tragedy of childhood abuse – whether it is emotional,
physical or sexual. A person needs to know their pain has been heard, and that the reality of their pain
has been validated and listened to with compassion and empathy. However, holding onto the victim
role for an inordinate length of time only continues to hurt the victim, not the abuser. At an
appropriate point in the grieving process, a person may be ready to pray for the strength and grace to
forgive the abuser. This is usually very hard to do but can lead to substantial healing in the abused.
Dysfunctional Families: This was not surprising since the rate of abuse was so high. We all have
dysfunction in our families but most of these souls were raised in ‘off the chart’ levels of dysfunction.
A ritual which helped some patients was to ask them to write out all the things that they were angry,
hurt, and resentful about. We would review the list (sometimes 4-6 pages) and then pray over them
and burn them. A lot of the rage was able to be released in the smoke of the burning paper.
Control: Almost all of us have a strong desire to control situations in our life. I often asked patients
this question, “In the play of your life, who is the creator, writer, producer, director, actor, music
director, etc.?” Before entering this ministry, I am sure I would have answered, “Me” for all of those
roles, “After all, it’s my life, my play.” I have since discovered that I am only the actor in the play of
my life – and God gives me the stage, the audience and even the script. All I have to do is show up and
be open to His Holy Spirit. This is my only role but it is not my play, it is God’s play I am making a
brief appearance in. When I realized that I was not responsible for every detail in my life and that I
needed to trust God to care for me, it felt like a 500 lb. albatross was lifted off my shoulders. The point
is: who is in control?
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Perfectionism: Just like many of us, patients in addiction treatment centers are ‘perfectionists’. I
would suggest their definition of “perfect” may be an “international standard without any flaws,
anytime, anyplace”. If so, they are bound to be disappointed and frustrated since there is no way
they can live up to that standard. A more realistic definition of ‘perfect’ is – “I did the best I could
with what I had on that day.” That is all you can reasonably expect of you and it is one that we can
all live up to every day.
Self-esteem: The pervasive issue we need to address in our lives is ‘who we are’? The answer is we
are God’s beloved children whom He loves unconditionally no matter what we have done or have not
done. The tape of our failures and low self-worth playing in our heads must be ejected and destroyed
so our esteem can be fully restored.
Guilt and shame: God cannot live in our dark caverns of shame and guilt for God is pure love, pure
light and, as light, cannot dwell in darkness. He calls us out of the darkness of guilt and shame and
into the light so we can live in joy and be a light to others.
Forgiveness (others, self and receiving God’s forgiveness): In my limited experience, the most
common and the hardest to let go of is forgiveness of self. Most people will admit that God has
forgiven them but they cannot forgive themselves. Well, if God has forgiven us and we don’t
forgive ourselves, what does that say about our relationship to God – perhaps we think we are
‘better or tougher’ than God? Not!
Depression and Bi-polar: I have first hand experience with both of these in my family. One
definition of ‘depression’ I shared was it means, “anger turned inward” where we are actually angry
at ourselves but are unable to process this anger in a healthy manner so we swallow it. Manic
depression/Bi-polar is a chemical imbalance which happens to some of us and requires a lifelong
commitment to faithfully taking the medications to keep it under control. As a chaplain, I have
learned that these conditions can become a gift as sharing it with those you minister to almost
always creates an instant bond.
As with all pastoral interventions, a primary goal is to listen to the person with your heart and try to
love them as Jesus loves them. If they feel the love, they usually connect with you as being sent to
them by God who cares for them deeply and that makes a difference.
originally published in the N.A.C.C. VISION communication
Vol. 23, No. 3
May/June 2013
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Notes and News
Pediatric Chaplaincy Information
Anyone interested in pediatric chaplaincy, may want to explore attending the Pediatric
Chaplains Institute. Upcoming Training November 9-14, 2014 at Children’s National
Medical Center, Washington, D.C. There is scholarship funding available.
More information at www.pediatricchaplains.org or you may also contact:
Kathleen Ennis-Durstine
Dean, Pediatric Chaplains Institute
c/o Children’s National Medical Center
111 Michigan Ave NW, Washington, DC 20010
202-476-3321
[email protected]
Job Opening:
Staff Chaplain – Phoebe Berks
Phoebe Berks, a premier Continuing Care Community providing skilled nursing, personal
care and independent living for older adults is seeking a full time Staff Chaplain to support the
spiritual needs of our residents, family members and staff at our Wernersville campus.
Responsibilities of this position include but are not limited to conducting a variety of religious
activities, volunteer development and community networking; planning and conducting
regular church services and special services as needed; providing clinical supervision and
mentoring for CPE intern chaplains and field education students; and provide leadership to
the Phoebe Berks leadership team, ethics committee, Faith in Action team and CPE advisory
committee.
Preferred candidate will enjoy serving a diverse population with varied spiritual backgrounds
and beliefs. Candidate will possess Master of Divinity or related degree, two units of CPE
and ordination in United Church of Christ required with three years’ experience in a pastoral
ministry setting. Preferred eligible for certification by Association of Professional Chaplains
or moving toward this goal. Phoebe offers a competitive starting wage with an attractive
benefits package to include: generous paid time off, named holidays, tuition reimbursement,
and 403(B) retirement savings plan. EOE
Please apply on-line at phoebe.org/careers or forward resume to: Rhonda Wade, Human
Resources Coordinator, Phoebe Berks, 1 Reading Drive, Wernersville, PA 19565. Fax –
610.927.8400. Email: [email protected]
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Upcoming Events
Event:
Dates:
Topic:
Presenters:
Location:
Contact:
PA Society of Chaplains Annual Fall Conference – 2014
Sunday through Tuesday, October
Thanatology and Spiritual Care
Dr. Terry L. Martin (Keynote)
Carolanne B. Hauck, BCC, NACC
Chaplain Eric Stenman
Bonjourno Conference Center, Carlisle, PA
Kelly Kleckner by e-mail: [email protected]
or by calling 717-544-5979
See page 3 for more complete information on this event.
*******
Event:
Topic:
Date:
Presenters:
Location:
Contact:
14th Annual Spirituality and Disability Conference
Life After Trauma::
Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Chaplain John Skanse
John Kline, Jr., M.D.
Matthew Dooley, PsyD.
Janice George, R.N.
Karen Szatkowski
Allied Services Heinz Rehab Hospital
150 Mundy Street
Wilkes-Barre Township, PA 18702
Chaplain Marianne C. Sailus by e-mail: [email protected]
or by calling 570-830-2039 by October 9th
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Event:
Topic:
Date:
Presenters:
Location:
Contact:
The Phoebe Institute on Aging Fall Conference
Building Friendly Communities:
Addressing Alzheimer’s and Related Disorders
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Amy Angelo, BSW, CYT
Kelly O’Shea Carney, Ph.D., CMC
Brian Duke; Anne P. Grogan, MSW
Annarose Inagarra-Milch
Lori La Bey; John R. Mehler
Dr. Alan Mira; Corissa Bolon, M.S.
Dr. Marietta Scanlon; Eric W. Sokol
Mike Splaine; Suzanne Weaver
Dr. Joseph Vincent
DeSales University, University Center
2755 Station Avenue
Center Valley, PA 18034
[email protected]
or by FAX (610-794-5414) by October 6th
*******
If you have an event you would like listed in our next newsletter, please send it to the
editor by December 1st at: [email protected] and we will be sure to list it.
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