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Page 71 Using Parallel Structure to Improve Thesis Sentences Use parallel structure to improve each of the following thesis sentences. Underline the parallel words and write down what type of phrase or part of speech you used. Example 1: To become a professional badminton player, one must know the rules, you have to train a lot, and the market is important to know. Improved: To become a professional badminton player, one must know the rules, train properly, and understand the market. What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? Verbs Example 2: Becoming a professional badminton player requires that you train a lot, you have to find a good coach, and knowing the market is important, too. Improved: Becoming a professional badminton player requires difficult training, good coaching, and an effective marketing strategy. What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? Nouns 1. Lifelong regular exercise should include strength training; you should also stretch a lot and do things to keep your cardiovascular system working well. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? 2. The causes of America’s Civil War were because Lincoln got elected, the division of the Democrats into two sectional parties, and the national leaders never solved the slavery issue. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? Page 72 3. John Lennon had a strong impact on popular culture through how well he wrote music for the Beatles, his musical career after the Beatles broke up, he got involved with Eastern forms of meditation, then he died tragically. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? 4. Although he served less than a single presidential term, John Kennedy was a successful president because he gave the country the goal of waking on the moon and the Cuban Missile Crisis was resolved. He also started the Peace Corps. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? 5. To make award-winning piecrust, one needs fresh ingredients, buying good equipment, then learn the proper techniques of rolling dough, and try to be very patient. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)? 6. To write a good thesis sentence, a writer should have his outline written, parallel structure should be used, please avoid the second person, and the thesis sentence should take a stand. Improved: What part of speech did you repeat (or did you repeat a type of phrase)?