Download Optimism vs Pessimism - It`s Learned

TOPIC 7-MENTAL HEALTH PROTECTIVE FACTORS
SELF-ESTEEM DEFINED
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our
weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young
kids. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A
lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life
experiences. This mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem.
Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by
others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy selfesteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in
their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one
will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything.
We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during
our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news
is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if
you feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it.
SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS
Before a person can overcome self-esteem problems and build healthy self-esteem, it helps to
know what might cause those problems in the first place. Two things in particular — how
others see or treat us and how we see ourselves — can have a big impact on our self-esteem.
Parents, teachers, and other authority figures influence the ideas we develop about ourselves
— particularly when we are little kids. If parents spend more time criticizing than praising a
child, it can be harder for a kid to develop good self-esteem. Because teens are still forming
their own values and beliefs, it's easy to build self-image around what a parent, coach, or
other person says.
Obviously, self-esteem can be damaged when someone whose acceptance is important (like a
parent or teacher) constantly puts you down. But criticism doesn't have to come from other
people. Some teens also have an "inner critic," a voice inside that seems to find fault with
everything they do. People sometimes unintentionally model their inner voice after a critical
parent or someone else whose opinion is important to them.
Over time, listening to a negative inner voice can harm a person's self-esteem just as much as
if the criticism were coming from another person. Some people get so used to their inner
critic being there that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down.
Unrealistic expectations can also affect a person's self-esteem. People have an image of
who they want to be (or who they think they should be). Everyone's image of the ideal person
is different. For example, some people admire athletic skills and others admire academic
abilities. People who see themselves as having the qualities they admire — such as the ability
to make friends easily — usually have high self-esteem.
People who don't see themselves as having the qualities they admire may develop low selfesteem. Unfortunately, people who have low self-esteem often DO have the qualities they
admire. They just can't see that they do because their self-image is trained that way.
WHY IS SELF-ESTEEM IMPORTANT?
How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they
are likable and lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better
relationships. They're more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when
they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more
likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life
to the fullest.
STEPS TO IMPROVING SELF-ESTEEM
If you want to improve your self-esteem, here are some steps to start empowering yourself:
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Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on
your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh
them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something
positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make
you happy.
Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by
perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, "I won't audition for
the play until I lose 10 pounds," think about what you're good at and what you enjoy,
and go for it.
View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because
everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person's talents
are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it's what makes
people interesting.
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Try new things. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch
with your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop.
Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're
unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, then start today. If it's
something you can't change (like your height), then start to work toward loving
yourself the way you are.
Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish, then make a plan for how to do
it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress.
Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them.
Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your
neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in
some other way. Feeling like you're making a difference and that your help is valued
can do wonders to improve self-esteem.
Exercise! You'll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier.
Have fun. Ever found yourself thinking stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were
thinner"? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things
you love. Relax and have a good time — and avoid putting your life on hold.
Face your fears - challenges seem scary but your fears are usually exagerated. Facing
your fears increases your confidence and boosts your esteem.
Forget your failures - learn from them. Avoid making the same mistakes again but
don't limit yourself by assuming you failed before so you can't succeed this time. Try
again, you're wiser and stronger. Don't be trapped in the past!
Know what you want and ask for it. Learn about being assertive - you deserve your
dreams to come true!
Reward yourself when you succeed. No-one else will! Isn't everything easier when
you take time to help yourself? Make a list of your successes and focus on the positive.
Talk - We often make assumptions about a situation or person which are not true.
Your attitude and behaviour can be negatively affected so if you have any doubt or
question ask and don't assume you know why or how. There is much more about this
point and about many of the others in a wonderful book I have read recently. I
personally recommend you to read it too as you're going to get a lot out of it.
. Don't be defeated! Try something else. You are not going to be defeated by one
failed attempt are you? Doesn't everyone fail before they succeed? All you need is a
different approach.
Don't indulge in self criticism. Why are you waging war against yourself? Read self talk
and silence your inner judge.
You can choose to please yourself It is good to you care about other's feelings but
aren't your needs just as important? Don't neglect yourself!
Don't try to be like someone else. This leads to lack of self worth and confidence. You
are unique and you cannot be someone else. Strive to improve but don't criticise
yourself for not being as successful, beautiful, slim or as popular as someone else.
Take life and yourself less seriously. Failure just means you are not successful YET.
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Everybody fails before succeeding, don't look on it as failure but as a means to
learning. Perhaps you just need a change of direction. Problems make you stronger if
you strive to overcome them.
Self worth, confidence and assuredness increase when you Focus on your needs and
desires. You deserve to live life as you want. This is not selfishness as what you want
doesn't hurt others or prevent them from living life on their terms.
OPTIMISM VS PESSIMISM ...
IT IS JUST A WAY OF THINKING!
Optimism vs Pessimism . Optimists tend to outperform pessimists in all respects.
OPTIMISM VS PESSIMISM - WHAT STUDIES SHOW
Over the last 30-40 years psychologists have studied the impact of our thoughts, expectations
and beliefs on our behaviour. They have found that the way you reason with yourself about the
things that happen to you has a huge impact on your success - at work, home, school, in your
community etc.
Research shows that people with an optimistic life-view tend to outperform pessimists in all
respects.
Pessimists are up to 8 times more likely to become depressed when bad events occur; they do
worse at school, sports, and most jobs than their talents would suggest; they have worse
physical health and shorter lives; they have rockier relationships.
OPTIMISM VS PESSIMISM - IT'S LEARNED - WHICH MEANS YOU CAN CHANGE IT!
People generally are not born with either an Optimistic or Pessimistic view of the world. It is
learned behavior - learned either through experience or through other people telling us who
we are: "YOU ARE A GREAT RUNNER, YOU ARE A WINNER, YOU ARE A LOSER, YOU ARE
USELESS, YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT MATHS, YOU ARE A GREAT MUSICIAN ETC."
The terms frequently used to describe this phenomenon are Learned Helplessness and Learned
Optimism. And the great news is that because this behavior is Learned it can be Unlearned.
Dr Martin Seligman who wrote Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life has
shown that people can dramatically impact their sense of well being and optimism, career
options and confidence levels, by changing the way they think. You can train yourself to
develop a more optimistic outlook.
There are times when having a pessimistic view is beneficial.
For example if you are driving in thick fog it might be good to be focused on the fact that a car
could be coming in the opposite direction!
Many studies have found that pessimists were more accurate in their assessments than
optimists. For example, in one test researchers had people pressing a switch to turn a light on
and off. Even when they had no control over whether the light came on or off optimists still
rated themselves as having a high degree of control over the light. Whereas pessimists
accurately predicted how much or little control, they did indeed have, over the light coming on
or off.
OPTIMISM VS PESSIMISM - THE THREE CRUCIAL ELEMENTS: PERMANENT, PERVASIVE,
PERSONAL
There are three crucial elements in the thinking styles which differentiate pessimists from
optimists. When something bad happens pessimists automatically think that the cause is:
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Permanent: 'IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER'
Pervasive: IT'S GOING TO UNDERMINE EVERYTHING' and
Personal: 'IT'S MY FAULT'
Optimists in contrast have a strength that allows them to interpret their setbacks as
surmountable, particular to a specific problem and resulting from temporary circumstances or
other people.
If you think about bad things in terms of 'always' and 'never' and that they are caused by your
poor characteristics and traits which are set in stone then you have a permanent pessimistic
style. If you think in terms of 'sometimes' and 'lately' and blame bad events on temporary
causes you have an optimistic style.
PERMANENCE
When we are unsuccessful at something, we all become at least momentarily dejected and
immobilized. Some people (those who are optimistic) will bounce back very quickly. Others
though remain stuck, or bearing a grudge which could last for days or months (even after only
small setbacks). If something major happens to them, they may never bounce back.
The optimistic style for good events is just the opposite of the optimistic style for bad events.
People who believe good events have permanent causes are more optimistic than those who
believe they have temporary causes. Optimistic people explain good events to themselves in
terms of permanent causes such as traits and abilities. Pessimists name transient causes such as
moods and effort.
PERVASIVENESS
People who make global explanations for their problems give up on everything when a crash
happens in one area. People who make specific explanations may become helpless in that one
area of their life but get on with the rest.
Permanent explanations for bad events produce long-lasting helplessness and temporary
explanations produces resilience. The pervasiveness dimension determines whether
helplessness cuts across many situations or is limited to the original area.
So, the optimist believes good events will enhance everything s/he does, while the pessimist
believes good events are caused by specific factors
People who make permanent and pervasive explanations for good events as well as temporary
and specific explanations for bad events, bounce back from troubles briskly and get on a roll
easily when they succeed once. People who make temporary and specific explanations for
setbacks, tend to collapse under pressure - both for a long time and across situations - and
rarely get on a roll.
Understanding Human Happiness and Well-Being
New Data from Social Scientists
More recently various social scientists have researched human
happiness around the world. Some common findings emerge,
despite using different experimental and survey methods and
exploring the issue in very different countries. One of the most
common conclusions is that money or financial wealth is not the most important
determinant. Happiness is a function of non-material factors. The support of family, friends and
community, a meaningful role in life, and basic freedoms are much more important at all levels
of wealth beyond this range.
Personal Costs of Materialism
Not only is a high level of material consumption unnecessary for happiness and well-being, but
too much can actually be personally harmful. A strong orientation to materialism is associated
with a variety of psychological and physical health problems3. Studies from many different
nations, involving preschoolers to the elderly and both genders, show that placing a high value
on financial wealth and material goods, regardless of income levels, is associated with higher
levels of anxiety, depression, and low life satisfaction. Individuals with a strong materialistic
orientation are more likely to be insecure, engage in antisocial behavior, have personality
disorders, and experience difficulties in intimate relationships.
Materialistic values detract from personal happiness and well-being by reinforcing feelings of
insecurity. Whatever positive feelings occur from material acquisitions are generally short
lived, and require more acquisitions to reinstate the positive feeling. This creates an acquisition
treadmill, characterized by unhappiness and insecurity which stimulates more acquisitions and
subsequent insecurities. In the process, the kinds of interpersonal relationships that contribute
to an enduring sense of well-being are neglected. Less empathy and intimacy are experienced,
affecting others, including the children of those with high materialistic orientations. It is
hypothesized that unmet security needs in childhood give rise to strong materialistic
orientations, which are then passed on to the next generation.
Self Esteem is the Key to your Happiness and Well-being
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Building esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life. If you have low
confidence or low self esteem you will find it impossible to be the person you could be
and your happiness will be limited.
Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect yourself
and then you can respect others, improve your relationships and become happier....this
is not a selfish goal as you will contribute more and share yourself with the world and
those around you.
Low esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and low confidence. Other's
desires may take preference over yours. Inner criticism, that nagging voice of
disapproval inside you, causes you to stumble at every challenge and challenges seem
impossible.
Resilience
Resilience means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks.
When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart? When you have
resilience, you harness inner strengths and rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge,
whether it's a job loss, an illness, a disaster or the death of a loved one.
In contrast, if you lack resilience, you tend to dwell on problems, feel victimized, become
overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse. You may
even be more inclined to develop mental health problems.
Resilience won't make your problems go away. But resilience can give you the ability to see past
them, find enjoyment in life and handle stress better. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to
be, you can develop skills to become more resilient.
Resilience means adapting to adversity
Resilience is the ability to roll with the punches. It means that although you encounter stress,
adversity, trauma or tragedy, you keep functioning, both psychologically and physically.
Resilience isn't about toughing it out or living by old cliches, such as "grin and bear it." It doesn't
mean you ignore your feelings. When adversity strikes, you still experience anger, grief and
pain, but you're able to go on with daily tasks, remain generally optimistic and go on with your
life. Being resilient also doesn't mean being stoic or going it alone. In fact, being able to reach
out to others for support is a key component of being resilient.
Resilience and mental health
Resilience helps protect you against mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety. It
can also help offset factors that put you at risk of mental illness, such as lack of social support,
being bullied or previous trauma. And being resilient can help you cope better with an existing
mental illness.
Social Support
Studies show us that people without a significant person in their life to share things with have
higher rates of many diseases, including heart disease, cancer and arthritis.
One of the greatest benefits of social support is that it helps people deal with stress. Having
someone to talk things out with reduces stress and protects you from the physical damage
stress causes such as high blood pressure, ulcers, migraines, anxiety attacks and depression.
How does having friends really help?
1. Having friends helps prevent mental health problems. Whether you're healthy or
if you have a mental illness, if you have someone to confide in, who cares and
listens, you'll find it easier to deal with your problems. That reduces stress and
prevents stress-related diseases, including depression.
2. You feel valued by others. Close relationships make you feel valued and cared
for.
3. It increases self confidence. Social support is a mutual process. In your network,
if you receive support from others, they feel needed and worthy because they
can be of help. That increases their self confidence and self-esteem and
contributes to positive mental health. The same benefits apply to us, when we
are needed by others.