Download Notes from S/R

“Is Google Making Us Stupid?” Notes
Some of you made great improvements in this S/R! Some of you are still struggling. Here’s an overview:
If your grade is in the 40s: This indicates to me that you have a grasp of how to find main ideas in a
reading and summarize them. It also shows me that you understood the idea
of how to use PIE in a response.
If your grade is in the 30s: This indicates some kind of struggle to me. It might be with reading and
finding main ideas. It might be with writing. It might be with planning your
schedule and giving enough time to the writing process. It might be that you
don’t realize you need to work with Page One tutors and get more help. Look
at the comments on your two assignments, the evaluation sheets, and
especially the trackers. Note: If you are a struggling writer/reader and you
miss Peer Review or turn in your assignment late, you are really, really
hurting your score.
If your grade is in the 20s: It’s time to take note and make some kind of change(s). You will not pass this
class with grades in the 20s.
How I graded:




You will see the purple pen for comments and suggestions.
? = something I couldn’t understand
 = something I thought was good
In the response, I highlighted your first sentence in yellow. This should be your P.
I looked for I and E and if I found them they have blue lettering. If I didn’t or wasn’t sure they
might have I? or E? If there’s nothing in blue, this is a danger signal.
Small things:


You must capitalize Internet (the Internet; the Net) and you use “the” with it.
You must capitalize Google.
Word choice:


Be careful about verbs that are too strong and therefore inaccurate.
For example:
o Not OK: Carr writes that the Internet makes us stupid.
o OK: Carr worries that using computers will impact our brain function in a negative way.
o Not OK: People can’t think without their tablets, phones, etc.
o OK: People might not be able to think as clearly/as quickly without their tablets, etc.
Tone:


Don’t use “info” as an abbreviation for “information – it’s too informal
Even though Carr uses “stupid” in his title, it’s too casual a word for your essays and it’s too
insulting. “Stupid” isn’t the same as being a shallow thinker.
Vocab:





Many of you tried to use supplant, and I appreciate it! However, supplant means to replace or
overthrow. Google isn’t literally trying to replace our brains. This would mean they have to kill
all of humankind.
I also appreciate your other vocab attempts. Some were successful, some not quite. Keep trying!
Affect (verb) - Using the Internet may affect our brains.
Effect (noun) – The effect of using the Internet may be negative.
“artificial intelligence” isn’t the same as “artificial brain”
Sentence-level things:



Some of you used good sentence variety and structure. Some of you had very, very long
sentences and comma splices. There were only a few fragments. If we cover something in class
like sentence structure and common errors, I expect you to make a strong effort to find and
correct these things in the assignments you complete for me.
Be concise. This means that I don’t want to see sentences that are more than 3 clauses long at
the most. Usually they will be 1-2 clauses.
If your sentence has 2 or more clauses, it needs to be clear to me which is the independent
clause – the main clause. This should have a topic that connects directly to your topic sentences.
Phrasing:



OK: Carr explains that… or Carr explains how…
NOT OK: Carr explains how that… or Carr Explains about how that…
OK Phrasing: “the human brain” “humans” (not singular)
The human brain is malleable. OR Humans have a malleable brain.
Bigger ideas:



Changes in the way the brain processes doesn’t necessarily mean changes in our habits or
dependencies. This was a common misunderstanding in your responses. Carr is writing about
something even deeper than habits.
Remember that a summary should include the main ideas of the text. Very few of you
mentioned Google, yet Google has space in the title and is featured in several paragraphs.
What’s the big deal with Google? Is the whole essay about Google?
Why is Taylor in there?
Response:

If I give you a prompt for the response, be sure that you understand it and answer it. Some of
you were so excited that you weren’t confined by the rules of summarizing that you just wrote
whatever you wanted in response to any ideas of the text. That is something more like free
writing, not an organized, specific response.