Download Communicating conflict

Communicating Conflict
Chapter 9
Defining Conflict
Interpersonal conflict is
commonly defined as “the
interaction of interdependent
people who perceive
incompatible goals and
interference from each other
in achieving these goals.”
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Defining Conflict
• Interdependence – means that
the communicators are
interconnected and rely on and
need each other
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Defining Conflict
• Perception - the communicators
perceive having incompatible
goals
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Defining Conflict
• Incompatible goals – when
people view the other as keeping
them from reaching their goals
friction often results
• Image conflicts involve a concern
for self-presentation and a
disagreement about selfdefinition
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Types of Conflict
• Value conflicts are content
conflicts that deal with content
that is viewed as right or wrong
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Types of Conflict
• Relational conflicts focus on
issues concerning the
relationship between the two
people
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Types of Conflict
• Serial conflicts are not conflict on
a particular issue rather they are
based on the fact that the same
conflict occurs respectively
overtime without resolution
– Meta-conflicts are conflicts on how
you manage conflict
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Myths about Conflict
and Communication
• The belief that all conflicts result
from miscommunication or
unclear communication.
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Myths about Conflict
and Communication
• The belief that conflicts can
always be resolved with good
communication skills.
• The belief that it’s always best to
talk about conflict.
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Factors Influencing
Interpersonal Conflict
• Gender and sex
• Culture
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Communication Patterns
in Conflict
• Symmetrical escalation – when
each partner chooses to increase
the intensity of the conflict
• Symmetrical withdrawal – when
both communicators avoid the
conflict
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Communication Patterns
in Conflict
• Pursuit-withdrawal/withdrawalpursuit
– One partner pursues discussing the
conflict and the other withdraws
– One partner withdraws prompting
the other partner to purse the
conflict
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Communication Patterns
in Conflict
• Symmetrical negotiation – when
each partner mirrors the other’s
positive negotiating behaviors
– Listen to the other and reflect back
what they have heard
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The Dark Side of
Interpersonal Conflict
• Bullying – occurs with distinct
power differences between
communicators exits and one is
persistently abusing the other
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The Dark Side of
Interpersonal Conflict
• Violence and aggression –
imposing one’s will on another
with intent to hurt or cause
suffering
– Often involves verbal
aggressiveness
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The Bright Side of
Interpersonal Conflict
• Leads to positive evaluations of
communication competence
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The Bright Side of
Interpersonal Conflict
• Promotes physical and mental
health
– Positive interaction ratio –
proportion of positive comments to
negative comments
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Promotes Physical and
Mental Health
– Negative interaction ratio – more
negative than positive comments
and interactions
• The magic ratio – 5 positives to 1
negative is a good predictor of
marital longevity
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Explaining Conflict
• The four-part model pictures
conflict as a circle divided into
four sections of conflict
– You refers to one of the participants
in the conflict
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Explaining Conflict
• When people disqualify the you in
conflict the response is aggressive and
doesn’t take into account the need of
the other person
–This is called pouncing
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The Four-Part Model
• Me refers to the other participant
– When people disqualify the me in
conflict they are being passive and
ignoring their own needs
• This is called placating
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The Four-Part Model
• Context refers to the emotional
background surrounding the
conflict
– When people disqualify the context
they are ignoring the relational
aspects and focusing on the rational
aspects
• This is called computing
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The Four-Part Model
• Subject refers to what the
parties are arguing about
– When people disqualify the subject
they change the topic to avoid
conflict
• This is called distracting
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The Relationship of
Conflict to Power
• Power can be defined as the
ability to control the behavior of
another
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The Relationship of
Conflict to Power
• Using power
– Direct application of power is using
any resource available to force the
other to comply regardless of their
wishes
– Indirect application of power is
using power without making it
obvious
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Using Power
• Relational messages are a form
of indirect applications of power
• When people send relational
messages they define the
relationship, implying they have
the power to do so
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The Relationship of
Conflict to Power
• Sex differences are often based
on sex role stereotypes
• Empowerment is helping to
actualize another's power
– Power balancing
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Choices for Conflict
Management
• Lighten up and reframe
• Presume good will and express
good will
• Ask questions
• Listen
• Practice cultural sensitivity
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