Survey
* Your assessment is very important for improving the workof artificial intelligence, which forms the content of this project
* Your assessment is very important for improving the workof artificial intelligence, which forms the content of this project
FCFA April 2001 Training “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown Conflict Resolution Agenda I have learned that anger, fear and shame can paralyze people. I have learned that it's all just a State of Mind. I have learned that I have seen the enemy and it is I. I have learned that you can soothe the savage beast with kindness. I have learned that happiness or unhappiness is a by-product of one’s character. I have learned that life isn’t suppose to be easy, its just suppose to be worth it. • • • • • • Scripture Definition Causes Of Conflict Benefits Of Conflict Communicate Through Conflict Conclusion Scripture • Act 26:1 -32 • Act 15:1-40 • Gen. 13: 1- 11 Definition • con·flict “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey • • I have learned that to err is human and that we are human. I have learned to keep on keeping on . • • I have learned that mercy and forgiveness are difficult but necessary. I have learned that anger and hate • are sisters. • Pronunciation: 'kän-"flikt Etymology: Middle English, from Latin conflictus act of striking together, from confligere to strike together, from com- + fligere to strike -- more at PROFLIGATE 1 : FIGHT, BATTLE, WAR 2 a : competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons) b : mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands 3 : the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the dramatic action in a drama or fiction synonym see DISCORD Definition • res·o·lu·tion “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown • • • • • Pronunciation: "re-z&-'lü-sh&n Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French resolution, from Latin resolution-, resolutio, from resolvere Date: 14th century 1 : the act or process of reducing to simpler form: as a : the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones b : the act of answering : SOLVING Causes Of Conflict “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • • • • • • Communication Failure Personality Clashes Value and Goal Differences Substandard Performance Differences Over Method Responsibility Issues Benefits Of Conflict “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • • • • • • • • • Open up hidden issues Clarify Issues Improve Problem Solving Increase involvement in decision making Increase cooperation and productivity Helps develop effective working relationships Discovers “best” decision in a situation Provides way to get feelings out in the open Promotes Confidence in Communicate through Conflict • DON’TS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • Placating - denying that a conflict exists – “better to keep peace than to fight attitude” – you avoid issues by downplaying(“let’s just pray about it” could be a way of placating) • Pouncing - ignore or eliminate other person in conflict – – – – “my view is the only right one” accusations, hostile questioning, etc… fail to acknowledge the other person’s opinion you give an air of superiority and intimidation • Distracting - trying to change the subject – by changing subject you hope the conflict will go away – It fails to acknowledge the subject matter Communicate through Conflict • DON’TS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • Computing - ignore the emotional climate of conflict – – – – “mature people don’t get emotional” dehumanizing a conflict(want only facts) fail to acknowledge other person’s feelings Remain detached and speak in the third person Communicate through Conflict • DOS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” • Use Descriptive Language – be clear of your statements about events & behaviors related to the conflict • Set Limits – stick with the content “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people • Being Disclosive Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. • Offer Support Ken White and Elwood Chapman – reveal your thoughts, feelings, intentions, motivations that the other person cannot observe – use statements that express understanding, acceptance, or positive regard for the other person Communicate through Conflict • DOS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” • Emphasizing commonalities – find what you have in common. – Statements that comment on common ground • Accepting Responsibility “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman – accept your responsibility to the conflict • Initiate Problem Solving – statements that initiate mutual consideration of solutions(mutual reward theory) • Use Relationship Reminders – Remind each other that your conflict arises within the context of mutual commitment and respect Communicate through Conflict • DOS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” • Role Reversal – Act out each other’s point of view – Walk in the other person’s shoes • Fractionating “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman – If conflict have many issues involved, separate the issues and deal with them one by one • Avoiding Triggers – Ask yourself what is causing the conflict. – Is it over content, identity, or values? • Avoid Gunnysacking – Do not use a conflict to bring up other nonrelated issues that has been festering inside you for sometime Communicate through Conflict • DOS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • Defusing – Listen, identify areas of agreement – Match your non-verbal gestures with your verbal – Find the right climate and location • Use The Passive Voice vs. the Active Voice – – – – You hurt me(active voice) I was hurt by you(passive voice) Passive Voice brings empathy Active Voice tends to bring defensiveness Communicate through Conflict • DOS “Conflict is inevitable and natural” “People have disagreements because they are different. Conflict is about different points of views.” “If we really want to “resolve” or eliminate conflict, we would have to eliminate our differences-or other people Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • Use I statements – I feel that you..., I sense that you… – You avoid stating a fact when it is nothing more than your opinion • “you aren’t doing your job” Speaker/Listerner Model WORLD OF SENDER WORLD OF RECEIVER Thoughts, Feelings Message Encoding Transmission Decoding Thoughts, Feelings Decoding Feedback Encoding Conclusion “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman • Resolving conflict requires mutual respect by all parties to come to the conclusion that conflict arises because we are different. Conflict resolution is an art that must be perfected by commitment of two opposing parties. It is not an inherited trait but a learned behavior. Remember effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations.