Download The Picky Rules of Writing

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Professor Harvey’s Picky Rules of Writing
(Borrowed and adapted with permission from “Prof. Cohen’s 39 Picky Rules”)
APA Citations at the end by Arlene Wiens
Sentence Rules:
1. Do not begin sentences in any of the following ways: “There are/is…”, “This is…”, “It is…,” etc.
2. Do not use “this,” “these,” “that,” “those,” “which,” or “it” unless the word has a clear and
unmistakable antecedent nearby. Never begin a sentence with “this” unless you follow it immediately
with a noun that re-identifies the idea to which you are referring.
3. Never publicly dangle a participle or misplace a modifier: write “Showing unmistakable signs of
ignorance, the student did not persuade his professor;” NOT> “The student did not persuade his
professor, showing unmistakable signs of ignorance.”
4. Never write an incomplete sentence (participles -- “ing” words -- cannot stand as verbs). A verb
must agree with its subject in person and number.
5. Know these three rules about commas:
a. Join independent clauses (clauses with a subject and a verb) either by using (1) a comma with
a conjunction (“Right-handers predominantly use the left side of the brain, so left-handers are the
only ones in their right minds.”) or (2) a semicolon without a conjunction (“Right-handers
predominantly use the left side of the brain; left-handers are the only ones in their right minds.”)
b. Separate items in a series by using a comma after every item before the conjunction (“The
professor was arbitrary, arrogant, and heartless.”)
c. Never use a comma between the subject and the verb or between the verb and its object
(except for interrupting clauses that use two (2) commas).
6. Bury words like “however,” “furthermore,” “moreover,” “indeed,” etc. (conjunctive adverbs) in the
clause or sentence; do not put them at the beginning. (E.g. “The students, however, learned something.”)
7. Be consistent when you have two or more parallel structures. With adjectives: “He was pompous,
picky, and terrorized freshmen” is wrong. “He was pompous, picky, and fond of terrorizing freshmen” is
right. With prepositions: “A student could count on his bad temper and arbitrariness” is wrong. “A
student could count on his bad temper and on his arbitrariness” is right. With correlatives: “He graded a
paper not only for content but for style” is wrong. “He graded a paper not only for content but also for
style” is right.
8. Do not end a sentence with a preposition.
9. Do not use the passive voice (“Careless students are failed by the ruthless professor”); use the active
voice (“The ruthless professor fails careless students”). Because the active voice is direct and clear, this
rule is the most important of style, but it has serious consequences for your meaning as well. Politicians,
administrators, and those foolishly trying to avoid the consequences of their actions love the passive
voice because it protects them from facts and responsibility: “Mistakes were made.”
10. Adverbs should be adverbs. Do not do it different – if you know what I am saying.
11. Walker’s Rule for Pronouns: every pronoun should have a clear antecedent to which it agrees in
person, number, and gender.
Paragraph and Thesis Rules:
12. Each paragraph must stick to the subject introduced by its first sentence. Most importantly, the first
sentence of the first paragraph must establish the context of your paper. “John Wayne first appears in
Stagecoach with a rifle in his hand.” NOT> “Duke has a gun.”
13. Do not use one or two sentences as a paragraph.
14. Make the transition between your sentences and your paragraphs clear and logical. This task is the
most difficult in writing, but, as you know, life is hard.
15. Give your paper a clear thesis sentence at the end of your first paragraph. If you can remember only
one rule, this rule is the one you must remember. The first paragraph should also demonstrate how the
rest of the paper is organized.
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16. Avoid using quotations to begin or end a paragraph or a paper. Your own words are most important
in those places.
17. In longer papers remind the reader of your thesis throughout the body of your paper.
Rules concerning Argumentation:
18. Never just summarize or paraphrase. Assume your reader has read/seen it. I do not want to know
what happened. I want to know your ideas about what happened.
19. Support your assertions and ideas with concrete examples, with brief quotes from the story, book, or
film you are discussing, or with a short citation from some reliable authority.
20. Do not hedge. Words like “maybe,” “seem,” “perhaps,” and “might” do not keep you from being
wrong; they merely alert the reader to the fact that you are worried about it.
21. Avoid vague generalizations: “as we all know,” “people say,” “since the beginning of time,” etc.
Obvious claims such as “mankind would not exist without the heart” are equally lamentable.
22. Write about works of art in the present tense, since Hamlet will be stabbing Polonius and Roy Hobbs
will be knocking the lights out with his home runs long after your grandchildren have forgotten your
name.
23. Avoid rhetorical questions.
24. Delete the phrase “in the past” from your writing as well as any hint of chronological snobbery.
Chronological snobbery is the erroneous assumption that, with the passage of time, mankind has gotten
progressively wiser. In the past such a pedantic list of writing rules would have been unnecessary for
undergraduates.
25. When citing a dictionary refer to the Oxford English Dictionary whenever possible.
Diction Rules:
26. Do not misspell words. Misspelled words look dumb; do not look dumb. Use a dictionary or a
literate friend to check your spelling. On a word processor always use spell-check, but do not trust it!
Possessing a limited vocabulary and undiscerning between right words spelled wrongly and wrong words
spelled rightly, spell-check is no substitute for proofreading. Spell out one and two digit numbers.
27. Never use contractions.
28. A possessive without an apostrophe is a misspelled word. One exception is the possessive of “it”:
“its.” “It is” contracts to “it’s.” Since you will not use contractions, you will never write “it’s” on a
paper.
29. Choose the best word for the context. Your papers should be a place “where every word is at home,
taking its place to support the others” (Eliot “Little Gidding,” V.217-218). Beware of unintended irony:
an N.C. State basketballer once explained his ability to shoot with either hand, “yeah, I’m amphibious.”
Suffice it to say this student-athlete, to avoid drowning in his coursework, crawled out of school and into
the NBA.
30. Also beware these other egregious violations of Rule Twenty-Nine (29): jargon (say “library”; do
not say “instructional media center”), cliche (say “the professor is a conservative grouch”; do not say
“the professor is an old fogey”), slang (say “the teacher is foolish”; do not say “the teacher is a dork”),
hyperbole (say “this man has too high a regard for himself”; do not say “this man is the most arrogant
jerk who ever lived”), gobbledygook (say “now”; do not say “at this point in time”), and malapropism
(confusion of idioms; one former NFL player commented, “I really cleaned his bell; I rang his clock”).
31. Use your smallest most Anglo-Saxon, most comfortable words; big words impress only high school
teachers and smell of the thesaurus.
32. Lose the word “very” from your written and, if possible, spoken vocabulary.
Format Rules:
33. Number your pages at the top right-hand corner.
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34. Give your paper an informative title.
35. In APA in text citations, cite authors, not the titles of books and journals. Only use the titles when
the authors are unknown OR you are making a VERY IMPORTANT point with the title.
36. On those extremely rare occasions when you quote more than 40 words, indent five spaces and
double space the quotation, and leave off the quotation marks.
37. When you quote from or refer to a source, cite it appropriately. IN APA all references in the
reference list must be cited in the text, either as indirect or direct quote. Double quotation marks are used
to enclose all in text quotes. Single quotation marks are used WITHIN double quotations marks to set off
material that in the original course was in quotations marks. In APA, the final quotation mark always
goes before the period or question mark. Direct quotes always have the reference included in parentheses
immediately after the quotation marks. No punctuation is needed unless the text requires it.
38. APA requires page numbers for all direct quotations and recommends them for indirect (paraphrased)
citations as well.
39. Do not use an ellipsis (. . .) to begin or end a quotation. Three ellipses denote an omission of text
and should only occur in the middle of a quotation. Use four ellipses to indicate any omission between
two sentences.
40. Before handing in your final copy, have an intelligent friend read your paper to you; then fix it.
41. Be safe: frequently save your file, and whenever possible keep a hard copy, a backup disk, and/or a
version on another drive.
42. Do not hand in a paper unless you have come to care about it. You believe in goodness and truth;
therefore, commit yourself to communicating your ideas well and true.
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