Download Writing style - National Literacy Trust

3 Writing style
Aims:
■ To introduce staff to some of the principles of sentence structure, so that
they can help pupils to express themselves in more sophisticated ways
■ To provide some simple ways of helping pupils to improve their style.
Useful for:
■ Schools where pupils are willing to write but lack flair
■ Staff who were never taught sentence grammar themselves.
Timing
3.1 Connecting ideas
3.2 Constructing complex sentences
3.3 Using the passive voice
3.4 Looking at pupils’ work
Total
20 minutes
15 minutes
20 minutes
20 minutes
75 minutes
You will need:
■ OHTs 3.1–3.12 (some of these could be covered orally, at the presenter’s
discretion)
■ Handouts 3.1–3.4
■ A small display of grammar books, as participants are likely to ask for
recommendations. Most staff would find David Crystal’s paperback
Rediscover Grammar (Longman, 1996, ISBN 0-582-00258-3) accessible
and undaunting. More detailed is Shirley Russells’ Grammar, Style and
Structure (OUP, 1993, ISBN 0-19-831179-6). It’s an A-level textbook but
don’t let that put you off. It’s readable and includes ‘have-a-go’ activities.
QCA’s booklet Not Whether But How will be of particular interest to the
English department. You could put a copy of each book on the staff
bookshelf.
This module links closely with module 2, Writing non-fiction.
Use OHT 3.1 to introduce the topic:
We are going to look at three particular aspects of sentence grammar which can
help pupils to improve their written expression:
OHT 3.1
Sentences and style
For your consideration:
1. Connecting ideas
2. Constructing complex sentences
3. Using the passive voice
3.1 Connecting ideas (20 minutes)
Explain that pupils need to know:
■ how to link ideas to create a coherent whole in different kinds of writing
■ how ideas are linked – eg by comparison, by contrast, by order of event,
by cause and effect, and so on
© Crown Copyright 2001
Writing style
17
■
that connectives enable the writer to create coherent texts and express
complex ideas. Helping pupils to improve their writing involves enabling
them to use both types of connective effectively.
Explain that there are two types of connectives: conjunctions (eg because) and
connecting adverbs (eg therefore). Conjunctions link ideas within the same
sentence; connecting adverbs link ideas which may be in different sentences or
paragraphs. This distinction is important because it affects how connectives are
used and how sentences are punctuated. Helping pupils to improve their writing
involves enabling them to use both types of connective effectively.
Explain that connectives are important tools for communication and thinking in
all areas of the curriculum.
Use OHTs 3.2–3.3 to demonstrate how different links show different
relationships. Cover the OHTs with a paper and reveal each section as you go.
Explain the example on OHT 3.2 but invite participants to work out the example
on OHT 3.3.
OHT 3.2
Connectives 1
We brainstormed all the different kinds of alarms.
We wrote notes on the purpose of each one.
First we brainstormed all the different kinds of alarms.
Then we wrote notes on the purpose of each one.
The connective is an adverb which signals…
chronological order.
It links ideas across two sentences.
OHT 3.3
Connectives 2
The Romans were able to take over new provinces.
Their army was extremely large and powerful.
The Romans were able to take over new provinces
because their army was extremely large and powerful.
The connective is a conjunction which signals…
cause and effect.
It links ideas within the same sentence.
The next activity comes with a health warning! It is not promoted here as an
exercise to do with pupils, but as a way of helping participants to reinforce their
own awareness of the way in which connectives operate and determine
meaning. Stress that both types of connective are included in the list, but the
conjunctions are marked with an asterisk. Point out that ‘so’ can be both.
18
Literacy across the curriculum
© Crown Copyright 2001
For this activity, participants should work in pairs. Number the pairs around the
room from 1–14 and assign to each group ‘their’ connective from the following
list:
1. next
*8. but
*2. because
*9. so
*3. although
10. accordingly
4. meanwhile
11. as a result
5. however
12. similarly
6. therefore
13. in any case
7. moreover
14. in the event
Use OHT 3.4 or give instructions verbally and allow about a minute for the task.
OHT 3.4
Connectives 3
Obediently, they carried out the task.
1. Continue this statement by using your connective
(extending the sentence with a conjunction or adding a
second sentence using a connecting adverb).
2. Decide in what way it affects the meaning (eg by
comparing, contrasting, contradicting, sequencing,
indicating cause and effect, qualifying meaning, etc).
3. Explain the impact this has on meaning and on the
reader.
Invite participants to share their new sentences and observations in a short
feedback session. Make the point that extending a sentence can add detail,
depth, nuance and new significance which is missing from two equal
statements.
Now show OHT 3.5 and ask participants, in pairs, to join the two sentences in
as many different ways as possible.
OHT 3.5
Connectives 4
The headteacher walked away quickly.
The inspector came down the corridor.
Take some examples, then distribute Handout 3.1. As before, some join ideas
within sentences and some make links across different sentences. They all
bridge from one idea to the next.
© Crown Copyright 2001
Writing style
19
Handout 3.1
Connectives as signposts
Adding
and
also
as well as
moreover
too
Cause and effect
because
so
therefore
thus
consequently
Sequencing
next
then
first, second, third,…
finally
meanwhile
after
Qualifying
however
although
unless
except
if
as long as
apart from
yet
Emphasising
above all
in particular
especially
significantly
indeed
notably
Illustrating
for example
such as
for instance
as revealed by
in the case of
Comparing
equally
in the same way
similarly
likewise
as with
like
Contrasting
whereas
instead of
alternatively
otherwise
unlike
on the other hand
If you have time in hand, you could draw out further categories of words that act
as signposts between ideas:
Summarising: on the whole, in short, overall
Speculative: it would seem, one could say, one wonders
Assuring: naturally, of course, surely.
Leave up the OHT and ask ‘on the spot’ which kind of connectives might be
worth listing in the classroom to help pupils prepare for:
■ a history essay about the causes of a war
■ a science answer reviewing the properties of different physical substances
■ a report of a field trip for the school magazine
■ an account of the benefits of regular exercise for PE.
The group may decide that Handout 3.1 would be worth introducing to pupils.
3.2 Constructing complex sentences (15 minutes)
Use OHT 3.6 to demonstrate how to change a simple sentence into a complex
sentence, and what we mean by subordination. You need to rehearse this in
advance so that your explanation is clear.
OHT 3.6
Subordination
1. The headteacher walked away quickly. He was late for a
meeting.
2. The headteacher walked away quickly because he was
late for a meeting.
3. Because he was late for a meeting, the headteacher
walked away quickly.
4. The headteacher, who was late for a meeting, walked
away quickly.
20
Literacy across the curriculum
© Crown Copyright 2001
Here are some further explanatory notes:
1. Two sentences. Each one is a clause or simple sentence. In other words,
each has a subject and a verb.
2. The two sentences have been joined using the word because. (This is a
conjunction.) However, in the process of connecting the two sentences, one
of the clauses has become more important than the other. The main clause
in the sentence is The headteacher walked away quickly and the
subordinate clause is because he was late for a meeting. It is subordinate to
the first because it only makes sense when it is used with it. It depends on
the first for its meaning. This is why the Americans call a subordinate clause
a dependent clause, which is a useful way to think of it.
3. The interesting thing about subordinate clauses is that they can be very
powerful if you move them around the sentence. Here, for example, the
subordinate clause has been moved to the front of the sentence…
4. …and here it has been moved to the middle.
It is well worth pointing out, at this point, the use of commas within sentences.
The convention is that if you move a subordinate clause to the front or middle of
a sentence, you put commas, acting as ‘buffers’ between it and the main
clause. This small fact of punctuation is very handy. Lots of people have trouble
knowing where to put the comma.
The single most powerful thing you can teach a competent but dull writer of
sentences is to learn how to move subordinate clauses around a sentence.
The effect is immediate and impressive. It adds sophistication and maturity to
the expression in a startling way. The main purpose, however, is not for style.
The advantage of subordinate clauses is that they enable the writer to describe
the relationship between things more precisely and explicitly.
Now ask delegates to practise this in pairs by adding subordinate clauses to the
sentence in OHT 3.5: The inspector came down the corridor.
Remind them that a subordinate clause can be at the middle, beginning or end
of the sentence. A subordinate clause has a verb but cannot stand on its own
as a sentence.
Take a few examples in feedback. Re-emphasise the point that complex
sentences allow pupils to express more sophisticated ideas. Subjects which
depend on writing for assessment should be encouraged to experiment with
sentences on the board for the class, so that they see how it is done, and begin
to shift up a gear in their expression.
Finish this section with OHT 3.7 to provide a really quick way of getting pupils to
experiment with sentence structure by changing the order of clauses, or starting
with an adverbial.
OHT 3.7
Hot tips
Start with a verb ending in ing…
Start with a verb ending in ed…
Start with an adverb ending ly…
Start with a preposition – eg over…
Start with anything other than a noun or pronoun!
© Crown Copyright 2001
Writing style
21
If you have time in hand, you could practise variations on the sentence in
OHT 3.8.
OHT 3.8
Manipulating a sentence
The teachers sighed with relief as the last inspector
departed, and eagerly reached for the chilled cans in the
refrigerator.
3.3 Using the passive voice (20 minutes)
Use OHT 3.9 to explain:
■ In active sentences, you are told who did it and what they did.
■ In passive sentences, you are told what was done and to whom.
OHT 3.9
Active and passive
The headteacher threw the action plan into the bin.
(active)
The action plan was thrown into the bin (by the
headteacher).
(passive)
The staff voted to teach tap dancing instead of English.
(active)
A decision was taken (by the staff) to teach tap dancing
instead of English.
(passive)
Active: subject (doer) – verb – object (done to).
Passive: subject (done to) – verb – by (doer) but the doer can be missed out,
hence the use of parentheses.
Turning sentences from active to passive changes the normal object into a
subject and the normal subject into a phrase starting with ‘by’, which can also
be missed out.
Politicians, inspectors, scientists and many journalists like passives: passives
can be used to disown responsibility. The examples on OHT 3.9 exemplify this.
It is possible by omitting the words in parentheses to avoid mentioning the
headteacher and staff in the passive. Show OHT 3.10 and ask participants to
express these active sentences in the passive, firstly including ‘by’ and the doer,
and then removing the doer completely.
22
Literacy across the curriculum
© Crown Copyright 2001
OHT 3.10
Converting into the passive voice
We bombed Dresden.
I lost the vote.
I was late for the meeting and it started half an hour late.
We’ve decided to freeze teachers’ pay.
We are coming to inspect your school next term.
You are brilliant at teaching!
We bombed Dresden. Dresden was bombed by us. Dresden was blitzed
last night.
I lost the vote. The vote was lost (by me).
I was late for the meeting and it started half an hour late. The meeting was
delayed…
We decided to freeze teachers’ pay. A pay freeze has been announced…
We are coming to inspect your school next term Your school has been
identified for inspection in the Summer term. Your school will be inspected.
You are brilliant at teaching! The quality of teaching was found to be good or
very good in 90% of lessons…
■
■
■
■
■
■
Invite participants to suggest when and where it is worth using passives. When
is it proper to take the agent responsible out of the sentence, to depersonalise a
piece of writing? Examples offered may include reporting scientific results or
inspection reports.
The relevant subjects should signal to pupils when the passive is needed, and
teach them how to use it. Most of all, pupils need examples. Use OHT 3.11 to
summarise this.
OHT 3.11
Classroom routines
■
■
■
■
■
■
■
When you set a writing task, alert pupils to the writing
conventions. Provide examples.
Write with them as whole-class activity, talking aloud
about the style and expression, so they know what to do.
Brainstorm and display a list of suitable connectives for
the topic.
Give pupils hints about improving their style and
expression. Every week, analyse a well-turned sentence
from current work on the board or OHT and explain what
you admire about it.
Encourage pupils to reflect on the way they express
sophisticated ideas and arguments in talk and how they
might transfer this to their writing.
Scaffold the writing, especially at first – eg by using
writing frames, sentence starters and suggested
connectives.
Encourage peer drafting and editing.
© Crown Copyright 2001
Writing style
23
3.4 Looking at pupils’ work (20 minutes)
Study the three extracts of pupil work in Handouts 3.2–3.4 and consider how
effective they are in connecting, expressing and developing ideas. Suggest
what advice their teachers might give them.
Handout 3.2
This writer uses conjunctions and relative pronouns well for complex sentences
(eg when, which, if and as). The sentences are varied. Nevertheless, the text is
not well organised. The links between ideas could be better signalled with the
use of connecting adverbs such as nevertheless, moreover and however. The
problem of organisation in this example, however, stems not simply from the
lack of connectives, but the lack of focus in the task itself (simply ‘Glass’). Clear
questions and tasks which provide a means of organising ideas and content are
vital in helping pupils to plot their way through a piece of writing. The importance
of supportive contexts for writing is emphasised in module 2.
Handout 3.3
This example shows the danger of using (and teaching) connectives as a formal
device without considering the focus of the task (bland title), the organisation of
the content or the meaning of the connectives themselves. Consequently the
24
Literacy across the curriculum
© Crown Copyright 2001
words confuse rather than clarify. Although and however have been used to
lend formality and authority to the writing, but they have been used
inappropriately without their meaning and function being considered.
Handout 3.4
Handout 3.4
Handout 3.4 continued
Handout 3.4 continued
English at Key Stage 3 Cross-curricular training pack
Writing style
English at Key Stage 3 Cross-curricular training pack
Writing style
English at Key Stage 3 Cross-curricular training pack
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
© Crown Copyright 2001
© Crown Copyright 2001
This pupil using English as an additional language has a detailed and impressive
knowledge of the subject. The information is vividly conveyed in a committed
piece of writing. The task is also helpfully focused for analytical writing involving
debate. There are a range of language issues which could be raised (such as
complex sentences or spelling), but the grasp of detail justifies the high mark
awarded by the teacher. Nevertheless, the lack of connectives to organise the
text leads to repetition and lack of economy as the writer is restricted in the
connections which are made to previous statements or paragraphs (hence the
awkwardness of phrases such as ‘what said above’ and ‘all this information’.)
(Useful devices for this writer to deploy in future pieces might include
connectives: to add, eg furthermore, moreover; to oppose, eg however,
on the other hand; to conclude, eg therefore, consequently; or to summarise,
eg overall.)
Remind delegates that they have learnt something about:
■ connecting ideas
■ constructing complex sentences
■ using the passive voice.
These are some essential elements of knowledge about language which will
help teachers to make better use of the analysis of text types in Handout 2.4.
Use OHT 3.12 to set a task.
OHT 3.12
Ready for more?
Within the next fortnight:
■ Every participant will address one of the language
features discussed in this module when they use writing
with pupils, and report back to a department meeting.
■ Departments will sample pupils’ writing to identify any
critical areas of writing style for attention and
improvement.
We would like to thank Wilnecote High School, Staffordshire, for the pupil work in Handout 3.4.
© Crown Copyright 2001
Writing style
25
26
Literacy across the curriculum
© Crown Copyright 2001
Sentences and style
OHT 3.1
For your consideration:
1. Connecting ideas
2. Constructing complex sentences
3. Using the passive voice
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Connectives 1
OHT 3.2
We brainstormed all the different kinds of alarms.
We wrote notes on the purpose of each one.
First we brainstormed all the different kinds of alarms.
Then we wrote notes on the purpose of each one.
The connective is an adverb which signals…
chronological order.
It links ideas across two sentences.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Connectives 2
OHT 3.3
The Romans were able to take over new provinces.
Their army was extremely large and powerful.
The Romans were able to take over new provinces
because their army was extremely large and powerful.
The connective is a conjunction which signals…
cause and effect.
It links ideas within the same sentence.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Connectives 3
OHT 3.4
Obediently, they carried out the task.
1. Continue this statement by using your
connective (extending the sentence with
a conjunction or adding a second
sentence using a connecting adverb).
2. Decide in what way it affects the
meaning (eg by comparing, contrasting,
contradicting, sequencing, indicating
cause and effect, qualifying meaning,
etc).
3. Explain the impact this has on meaning
and on the reader.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Connectives 4
OHT 3.5
The headteacher walked away quickly.
The inspector came down the corridor.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Subordination
OHT 3.6
1. The headteacher walked away quickly.
He was late for a meeting.
2. The headteacher walked away quickly
because he was late for a meeting.
3. Because he was late for a meeting, the
headteacher walked away quickly.
4. The headteacher, who was late for a
meeting, walked away quickly.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Hot tips
OHT 3.7
Start with a verb ending in ing…
Start with a verb ending in ed…
Start with an adverb ending ly…
Start with a preposition – eg over…
Start with anything other than a noun or
pronoun!
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Manipulating a sentence
OHT 3.8
The teachers sighed with relief as the last
inspector departed, and eagerly reached
for the chilled cans in the refrigerator.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Active and passive
OHT 3.9
The headteacher threw the action plan
into the bin.
(active)
The action plan was thrown into the bin
(by the headteacher).
(passive)
The staff voted to teach tap dancing
instead of English.
(active)
A decision was taken (by the staff) to teach
tap dancing instead of English.
(passive)
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Converting into the
passive voice
OHT 3.10
We bombed Dresden.
I lost the vote.
I was late for the meeting and it started
half an hour late.
We’ve decided to freeze teachers’ pay.
We are coming to inspect your school
next term.
You are brilliant at teaching!
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Classroom routines
OHT 3.11
■
When you set a writing task, alert pupils to the
writing conventions. Provide examples.
■
Write with them as whole-class activity, talking
aloud about the style and expression, so they
know what to do.
■
Brainstorm and display a list of suitable
connectives for the topic.
■
Give pupils hints about improving their style and
expression. Every week, analyse a well-turned
sentence from current work on the board or OHT
and explain what you admire about it.
■
Encourage pupils to reflect on the way they
express sophisticated ideas and arguments in talk
and how they might transfer this to their writing.
■
Scaffold the writing, especially at first – eg by
using writing frames, sentence starters and
suggested connectives.
■
Encourage peer drafting and editing.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Ready for more?
OHT 3.12
Within the next fortnight:
■
Every participant will address one of
the language features discussed in
this module when they use writing with
pupils, and report back to a department
meeting.
■
Departments will sample pupils’ writing
to identify any critical areas of writing
style for attention and improvement.
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Connectives as signposts
Adding
and
also
as well as
moreover
too
Cause and effect
because
so
therefore
thus
consequently
Sequencing
next
then
first, second, third,…
finally
meanwhile
after
Qualifying
however
although
unless
except
if
as long as
apart from
yet
Emphasising
above all
in particular
especially
significantly
indeed
notably
Illustrating
for example
such as
for instance
as revealed by
in the case of
Comparing
equally
in the same way
similarly
likewise
as with
like
Contrasting
whereas
instead of
alternatively
otherwise
unlike
on the other hand
Handout 3.1
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Glass
Handout 3.2
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
The slave triangle
Handout 3.3
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Handout 3.4
1 of 3
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Handout 3.4
2 of 3
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001
Handout 3.4
3 of 3
Literacy across the curriculum
Writing style
© Crown Copyright 2001