Download Women Lawyer`s Retreat

All Women Lawyer’s Retreat
Facilitated by Vernā Myers
Palms Spring, CA
February 5-7, 2009
© 2008 Vernā Myers Consulting Group, LLC.
Do not reproduce without permission.
Retreat Objectives
• Continue to build community among women attorneys at the
Firm
• Identify issues impacting women attorneys at the Firm
• Update participants regarding the Firm’s women’s initiatives
and obtain their input on improving the Firm’s diversity efforts
• Enhance women attorneys’ ability to succeed professionally at
the firm
• Improve women attorneys’ leadership, mentoring, and
professional and business development opportunities and skills
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Discussion Guidelines
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Try On
Okay to Disagree
No Blame, Shame, or Attack- yourself or others
“Ouch”
Keep a Self-focus
Practice “Both/And” Thinking
Maintain Confidentiality
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Learning
Leadership
Understanding Leadership
• Leadership is not about a title
• It doesn’t matter your level in the firm, there are situations
where you are taking on a leadership role - even in a peer
to peer situation
• Leadership should not only be about how we get people
to do what we want, but how:
– We manifest our values as we lead
– How our example of leadership transforms our organizations for
the best
• Leadership is not only about personality
• Good leadership can be learned
• Leadership is distinguished from management
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Leader v. Manager
LEADER
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Vision
Influence
Govern by Principles
Empower
Long Term
Taking Risk
Rethinking
Letting Go
Crisis
Potential
Dreams
MANAGER
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Version
Authority
Govern by Fear
Control
Short Term
Minimizing Risk
Reorganizing
Taking Charge
Stability
Performance
Duties
Professor David Hall, Northeastern
University School of Law
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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and
Leadership
• The ability to manage ourselves and our relationships
effectively
• 4 capabilities and a set of competencies for each
capability:
– Self- Awareness
– Self- Management
– Social Awareness
– Social Skill
Daniel Goleman
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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and
Leadership
• The most successful leaders have strengths in:
– Self-awareness
– Self-regulation
– Motivation
– Empathy
– Social Skill
Daniel Goleman
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6 Leadership Styles
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2.
3.
4.
Coercive leaders - demand immediate compliance
Authoritative leaders - mobilize people toward a vision
Affiliative leaders – create emotional bonds and harmony
Democratic leaders – build consensus through
participation
5. Pacesetting leaders – expect excellence and self-direction
6. Coaching leaders- develop people for the future
Daniel Goleman
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Organizational Climate and Leadership Style
• Individuals impact the organizational climate (by how well
they motivate, make decisions, manage, handle crisis, set
a clear vision, etc.)
• Organizational climate influences financial results (nearly
1/3)
• Authoritative style has the most positive effect on
organizational climate; Affiliative, Democratic and
Coaching styles are close behind
• Leaders who have a positive effect on the climate
outperform leaders who lack emotional intelligence
Daniel Goleman
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Flexibility and Improvement
• Master as many styles as possible
• Do not rely on one style exclusively
• Ask yourself what style would be best to address the
demand or the particular situation
• Switch styles as conditions require
• Styles can be learned and improved by growing one’s
EQ- focus on improving the competencies associated
with each style
Daniel Goleman
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Women and Leadership Styles
• “People associate women and men with different traits and
link men with more of the traits that connote leadership…”
– Agentic v. communal
– Double-bind – too assertive/not assertive enough
• “Research tells us not only that men and women do have
somewhat different leadership styles…”
BUT
• “…women’s approaches are the more generally effective –
while men’s often are only somewhat effective or actually
hinder effectiveness.”
• “Women adopt a more participative and collaborative style
than men typically favor.”
Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli, “Women and the Labyrinth of
Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, Sept. 2007
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Women and Leadership Styles, cont’d
• As women navigate the “double bind,” women are finding
ways to project authority without using the autocratic ways
that people find unsettling when women use them
• “However, if there is not a critical mass of other women to
support the legitimacy of a participative style, female
leaders usually conform to whatever style is typical of the
men- and that is sometimes autocratic.”
Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli, “Women and the Labyrinth of
Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, Sept. 2007
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Women and Financial Performance
• “A number of studies in the U. S. and Europe suggest… that
companies with several senior level women tend to perform
better financially.”
• McKinsey study shows:
“First, companies around the world with the highest scores
on nine important dimensions of organization- from
leadership to accountability and motivation- are likely to
have higher operating margins than their lower-ranked
counterparts do.
Second, among the companies for which information on the
gender of senior managers was available, those with three
or more women on their senior-management teams scored
higher on all nine organizational criteria than did companies
with no senior-level women.”
The Mckinsey Quarterly,
September, 2008
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“Center Leadership” – Thriving
McKinsey Leadership Project: A study of more than 85
women around the world who are successful in diverse
fields
– Interviewed a “few good men” also
– Consulted leading academics
“What drives and sustains successful female leaders?”
“Centered Leadership” emphasizes the role of POSITIVE
EMOTIONS and draws on positive psychology
The McKinsey Quarterly, “Centered Leadership:
How talented women thrive,” 2008
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“Center Leadership” – Negative Emotions
Different challenges and emotions for men and women in
the workplace
Women:
• Can more often opt out of the workplace
• Contend with the double burden of motherhood and
management - drains energy in a particularly challenging
way
• Encounter “double bind – “prescriptive” and “descriptive”
bias – same behavior judged differently and negatively
• Experience more emotional ups and downs more often
and more intensely than most men do
The McKinsey Quarterly, “Centered Leadership:
How talented women thrive,” 2008
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“Center Leadership” – 5 Dimensions
1. Meaning- Contribute to something bigger than yourself
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Happiness, Signature strengths; Purpose
2. Managing Energy- Look for what energizes
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Minimizing depletion –throwing in the towel too soon
3. Positive Framing- Believe that you can manage the
challenges and move to action
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Self-awareness; Learned optimism; Moving on
4. Connecting – Broaden it out; Make it personal
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Network design; Sponsorship; Reciprocity, Inclusiveness
5. Engaging – Create your own luck
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Voice; Ownership; Risk-taking; Adaptability
The McKinsey Quarterly, “Centered Leadership:
How talented women thrive,” 2008
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Succeeding in a Majority
Organization
Modern Bias
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Dysfunctional Rescuing
Blaming the Victim
Avoidance of Contact
Denial of Differences
Denial of the Political,
Economic... Significance of
“ISMs”
Internalized Bias
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System Beating
Blaming the System
Anti- Avoidance
Denial of Differences
Lack Understanding of
Political... Significance of
“ISMs”
“Isms”= racism, sexism, etc.
VISIONS, Inc. ©1999
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Tools/Alternative Behaviors to Modern Bias
These Behaviors
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Instead of These Behaviors
Functional Helping
Problem Solving
Mutual Contact
Recognizing Differences
Recognizing the
Political... Significance of
Differences
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Dysfunctional Rescuing
Blaming the Victim
Avoidance of Contact
Denial of Differences
Denial of the Political,
Economic... Significance of
“ISMs”
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VISIONS, Inc. ©1999
Tools/Alternative Behaviors Internalized Bias
These Behaviors
Instead of These Behaviors
• Confront/Stand Up
• Own Responsibility
• Sharing Info. from our
Diff.Cultures
• Recognizing Differences
• Sharing Information on
the Impacts of
Differences
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System Beating
Blaming the System
Anti- Avoidance
Denial of Differences
Lack Understanding of
Political... Significance of
“ISMs”
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VISIONS, Inc. ©1999
Other Skills for Working Successfully in a
Majority Organization
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Be aware of your own lens- strengths and challenges
Examine your assumptions
Use the guidelines
Use your target and non-target identities to understand
other targets and non-targets
Look for commonalities- initiate relationships across
difference
Be proactive in getting work
Look for opportunities; read what is going on
Ask questions when you don’t know
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Other Skills for Working Successfully in a Majority
Organization, cont’d
• Don’t hide- use your difference to your advantage
• Develop relationships with a variety of people for advice,
support and mentoring inside and outside the firm“board of advisors”
• Participate in organizations and activities (inside and
outside the firm) that develop your professional and
personal interests
• Be careful not to spend too much time on non-billable
work at the expense of billable projects
• Stay connected to your community and family
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Interrupting Bias and Stereotyping
Addressing Bias Issues
• Good will toward people
• “I am right”
• YOU took it wrong!
• Not responsible
• Does not learn from
interaction
• Feel the pain – hurt
regardless of intention
• Triggers reaction
• Left to deal with it on own
• Bias continues to affect
others
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Interrupting Bias and Stereotyping
1. Remember to follow discussion guidelines
2. Use a tone of voice that is welcoming and nonjudgmental
3. Treat the person with respect
4. Give attention to the person who is making the remark
5. Use humor
6. Ask a question
7. Explain why the comment is troubling to you - Use an “I”
statement
8. Offer a different point of view
9. Practice, practice, practice
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Addressing Bias Issues
Doesn’t Work
Works
 A tone of voice that is
 Avoidance
welcoming and non-judgmental;
 Ask a question
 Treat the person with respect
 Explain why comment/behavior
troubled you
 Use “I” statement
 Let the other person talk
 Listen, listen, listen
 Use humor
 Offer another point of view
 Acknowledge intent and
talking about the effect
 Attacking
 Side Conversations
 Misinterpreting
 Pulling a fast one
 Using Internalized Bias
 Taking advantage to
bring up more – not
related to the situation
 Using “but” to make your point
over their point
Adapted in part from Visions, Inc. and The National
Coalition Building Institute.
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An Ally Is:
• One with whom you unite or form a connection or
relationship -- based on kinship/friendship
• One who takes an active stand on another’s behalf
• One who offers support in a way that creates a sense of
belonging, a sense that you are not alone
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Being an Ally
• Be a champion
• Listen as an ally
• Partner across differences
• Share information
• Collaborate
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First They Came for the Jews
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.
Pastor Martin Niemöller
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Spectrum of Responses to Bias
Actively
Biased
Passively
Biased
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Actively
Anti-Biased
Influence without Authority:
Using Reciprocity and Exchange
to Get What You Need
Allan R. Cohen and David R Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter
2005
The Law of Reciprocity
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How can you influence those over whom you have no
authority?
You need resources that the person wants so that you
can trade them for what you want
Reciprocity is based on the principle of “give and take”
or “one good (or bad) turn deserves another”
It is a natural EXCHANGE that happens all the time
whether you notice or not
Concept is simple, the process may not be
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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The Influence Model
“A careful diagnosis of the other’s interests’, assessment of
what resources you possess and attention to the
relationship”
Use the influence model when:
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The other person is known to be resistant
You don’t know the other person or group and are asking for
something that might be costly to them
You have a poor relationship (or are part of a group that has
a poor relationship) with the group the other person belongs
to
You might not get another chance
You have tried everything you can think of but the other
person still refuses what you want
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005 34
Assume All are Potential Allies
• Resist temptation to “write them off”
• Seek overlapping interests – is an alliance possible?
• Don’t assume other person will be an adversary; it leads
to:
− Bias and stereotyping
− Misperceptions and miscommunication
Becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
• Even if the person is your manager- the goal is to make
the relationship mutually beneficial
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“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
Clarify Your Goals and Priorities
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What are your goals?
What are your short-term v. long-term objectives?
What are the “must-haves” v. “nice to have”?
What is the priority?
– A particular form of cooperation on specific item or
would you settle for a better relationship in the
future?
– Is a short term victory worth the creation of hard
feelings, or is the ability to come back to the person
in the future more important?
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Diagnose the World of the Other Person
• What drives what he or she cares about?
• You may be able to ask directly, if not examine the ally’s
organizational situation
– How is the ally evaluated and rewarded?
– What is his expectations?
– Where is she in her career?
– What are his personal career goals?
– What pressures and demands is she encountering?
• Understanding the pressures can help you avoid
“demonizing” and see a potential ally
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Identify Relevant Currencies
• Two meanings
– Something of value that you can trade for
something you want
– What your potential ally wants –there will be some
things your ally wants that you can’t offer
• Your ally’s currencies
– What they care about
– Accept, don’t judge
• Most people underestimate their own currencies –
jump the conclusion that they are powerless
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Your Currencies
• Get work done well and quickly
• Transfer information or
messages to others
• Defend reputation to others
• Give recognition, praise
• Show appreciation
• Show respect
• Be understanding
• Listen
• Help out
• Provide personal support
• Show interest and curiosity
• Help to avoid a misstep
• Give information they have
less access to
• Make introduction to someone
they are interested in
• Give access to a group
• Show support
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Negative Currencies
• Escalating to a higher level
• Going public with lack of cooperation
• Yelling
• Withholding payments
• Quitting
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Relationships
What is the nature of your relationship with the person:
positive, neutral, or negative?
• If negative in the past, proceed with caution- you will have to build
the requisite trust and credibility
How does the person want to be related to?
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Exchanges not in a vacuum
Prior contacts or reputation
Build up a bankroll of relationships
Be generous and genuine
Respect how ally wants to relate – not how you like to
relate
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Determine Your Trading Approach
• Your approach will be shaped by:
− The attractiveness of your resources
− The ally’s needs
− Your desire for the ally’s resources
− Your relationship with the potential ally
− His/her preferred style of interaction
− Your willingness to take risks
− Your firm’s culture & expectations
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Outcome of Exchange: Task and Relationship -Both are Critical
There is the work at hand and the nature of the relationship
• Don’t ignore history – most often it affects the discussion
• Consider future risks- winning the battle but losing the war
• Build on trust – can’t be perceived as too calculating;
influence over time goes to those who have the welfare of
others in mind; self-seeking behavior create enemies
• Give to get – mutuality; be generous; do what you say
• Foster relationships before they are needed –early and
often
• Pay attention to process
• Have a bias towards positive exchanges
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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The Law of Reciprocity
1. Think of the people with whom you have relationships?
Of these, from whom do you need things?
2. What kind of things do you find yourself wanting and
needing from others?
3. What kind of reasons do they give for not giving what
you need?
4. What type of currencies might you have to offer to
them?
– What is important to them?
“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R.
Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005
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Conclusion
• View everyone as a potential ally
• Assess your currencies
• Build up influence credits
• Become aware of/accept others’ currencies
• Leverage your allies
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Vernā Myers Consulting Group, LLC
73 Chestnut Street
Newton, MA 02465
617-559-9800 (phone)
617-558-5578 (fax)
www.vernamyersconsulting.com