Download some ideas for exploration

How to Be an Ally to LGBT People – some ideas
for exploration
• Use the words “gay” and “lesbian” instead of “homosexual.” The overwhelming majority
of gay men and lesbians do not identify with or use the word “homosexual” to describe
themselves.
• Use non-gender specific language. Ask “Are you seeing someone?” or “Are you in a
committed relationship?,” instead of “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you
married?” Use the word “partner” or “significant other” instead of “boyfriend/girlfriend”
or “husband/wife.”
• Do not assume the sexual orientation of another person even when that person is in a
committed relationship with someone of a different gender. Many bisexuals, and even
some gay men and lesbians, are in different-sex relationships. Also, do not assume that a
transgender person is gay or will seek to transition to become heterosexual.
• Do not assume that a gay, lesbian, or bisexual person is attracted to you just because
they have disclosed their sexual identity. If any interest is shown, be flattered, not
flustered. Treat any interest that someone might show just as you would if it came from
someone who is heterosexual.
• Challenge your own conceptions about gender-appropriate roles and behaviours. Do
not expect people to conform to society’s beliefs about “women” and “men.”
• Validate people’s gender expression. For example, if a person assigned male at birth
identifies as female, refer to that person as “she” and use her chosen name. If you are
unsure how to refer to a person’s gender, simply ask that person.
• Speak out against statements and jokes that attack LGBT people. Letting others know
that you find anti-LGBT statements and jokes offensive and unacceptable can go a long
way toward reducing homo/bi/transphobia.
• Educate yourself about LGBT histories, cultures, and concerns. Read LGBT-themed
books and publications and attend LGBT.
• Support and involve yourself in LGBT staff and student networks, organizations and
causes. Donate money or volunteer time to LGBT organizations, such as Pride Bristol.
Write letters to your political representatives asking them to support legislation that
positively affects LGBT people.
(Adopted from the Stonewall Centre, University of Massachusetts, USA)
Become an Ally
An “Ally” is “a person who works to end oppression and create inclusive culture in his or her
personal and professional life through support of, and as an advocate for equality and diversity.
An Ally strives to…
Be a friend; be a listener; be open-minded; have his or her own opinions; be willing to talk;
commit him or herself to personal growth in spite of the discomfort it may sometimes cause;
recognize his or her personal boundaries; recognize when to refer an individual to additional
resources; confront his or her own prejudices; join others with a common purpose; believe that all
persons regardless of age, sex, race, gender, religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation should be
treated with dignity and respect; engage in the process of developing a culture free of
homophobia and heterosexism; recognize his or her mistakes, but not use them as an excuse for
inaction; be responsible for empowering his or her role in a community, particularly as it relates to
responding to homophobia; recognize the legal powers and privileges that heterosexuals have
and which LGBT people are denied; and support the ally program of his or her university or
workplace.
As important as it is to define what an Ally is in a positive sense, it is also helpful to understand
the boundaries of an Ally’s role.
An Ally is NOT…
Someone with ready-made answers; necessarily a counselor, nor is he or she necessarily trained
to deal with crisis situations
As an Ally, how can you show support? (Other points to add to the list on the page 1)
■ Assume that, wherever you go, there are LGBT people present who are wondering how safe
the environment is for them. Provide safety by making it clear that you support LGBT equality.
■ Notice the many ways in which you reveal your heterosexuality. Imagine how it would feel if
you had to keep it hidden.
■ Speak out about stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination or any kind.
■ Sometimes it is the assumptions as well as anti-gay statements, which need challenging. The
assumption that everyone present is heterosexual (Heterosexism) is discounting and hurtful to
gays/lesbians/bisexuals. Challenge it.
■ Get to know someone who is gay/lesbian/bisexual. Listen to his/her feelings and experiences.
■ When speaking of your heterosexual companion, point out that he/she is of the other gender,
implying that he/she would not necessarily be. Or, in situations where it is unclear whether you
are seeing a man or a woman, leave it that way. Your choice not to exercise your “heterosexual
privilege” will convey that the gender of one’s partner doesn’t matter.
■ Realize that the cultural oppression of gays/lesbians/bisexuals is perpetuated in social
situations where the only hugging and physical affection is between men and women. You can
refrain from romantic touching with the other gender, and/or be affectionate with persons of the
same gender.
(Excerpted and adapted in part from writings of Warren J. Blumenfeld; G. Goodman, J Lashof,
E.E. Thorne, and Una Fahy).