Download Melody Su (94401071) Michael Cheng Reading and Writing (2

Melody Su (94401071)
Michael Cheng
Reading and Writing (2)
Essay writing
April 28, 2009
Why We Should Send a Manned Mission to Mars
All of us can feel that the earth is getting hotter and more crowded.
Approximately 6.6 billion humans now inhabit the Earth, resulting from the nearly
ten-fold population growth over the past three centuries. (Steck, 2008) Due to the
stunning population explosion, people are gradually running out of space on the
planet. Therefore, it is critical for the whole world to work together to find a new land
to release the high population pressure. Scientists have tried indefatigably to discover
outer space with a view to letting people prosper continually, and the nearby planet,
Mars, is definitely the best choice. A manned flight to Mars is thus being seriously
and controversially discussed, but still without a definite conclusion so far. However,
due to the limitless potential of Mars, the ready-built foundation of outer space
mission, the beneficial stimulation on human spirit, I think a manned flight to Mars is
undoubtedly in need. (topic sentence)
Before we go further into the issue, there are some opponent voices that we
cannot ignore. For example, some people argue that 1. the cost of the expedition is too
much, competing against other fiscal budgets for education, medicine, poverty
reduction and public construction. In 1989, National Aeronautics and Space
Administration (NASA) estimated that a people-to-Mars program would cost $400
billion, which inflates to $600 billion today. Comparing to the annual budget of the
United States of $3.5 trillion, it is definitely a huge expenditure. Some conservatives
proclaim that 2. the technology is not advanced enough. Based on the current level, a
manned flight to Mars is such a great risk that human beings should not recklessly
challenge it. Still others are worried that 3. the Super Power like the United States and
Russia will colonize Mars and deprive other countries of the rights to benefit from the
Mars mission.
Those arguments are not completely fallacious, but not objective enough. In my
opinion, the expense on outer space discovery is essential for the limitless potential of
a Mars mission. Notably, scientists have found several similarities between Mars and
the earth. For instance, there are glaciers and channels on Mars and recently bacteria
have been discovered within the glaciers. It was also proved that oxygen exists. These
geographic features provide a chance to take Mars as the primary destination for outer
space emigration. According to NASA, a process called “terraforming” is now being
carried out. (terra = Earth) In this project, scientists take advantage of the basic natural
Martian conditions to transform the environment into a warm, wet, habitable planet
like Earth, applying technical strategies to increase atmospheric pressure and density
for people to survive. The mentioned similarities are the fundaments of this
transforming project. For example, even though we all know that Mars is a frozen
desert with a carbon dioxide atmosphere that is too thin for liquid water to exist,
scientists guess that water may exist deep underground in subsurface aquifers because
of the tunnel and channels that may be left once water went through. Based on these
discoveries, the project “terraforming” is now gradually constructed to make Mars a
living planet.
Also, the similarities offer opportunities to discover the secrets of the origin of
life and ways to protect the environment of our own planet. Scientist Thomas Gangale
asserted, “We cling to the hope of a neighboring planet that harbors……at least some
primitive forms of life. If Mars contains even nanobacteria─or indisputable evidence
of past life of the simplest form─this will profoundly change our conception of our
place in the universe. If Mars is dead now, but was once alive, understanding how
Mars died may give us a crucial understanding of how close we are coming to killing
the Earth.” What he indicated is that by studying the geology of Mars, we must gain
more understanding on the earth. Furthermore, The Mars Society, a group which
supports Mars exploration, proclaims in its Founding Declaration that “As we being
the 21 century, we have evidence that we are changing the Earth’s atmosphere and
environment in significant ways……Mars, the planet most like Earth, will have even
more to teach us about our home world. The knowledge we gain could be key to our
survival.” To be short, Mars mission is not an “invasion” to a new land and then leads
to the abandonment of the earth. Instead, it is an expression that human beings want to
protect our planet even more strenuously.
Some people are worried that once if mankind successfully lands on Mars,
Superpowers like the U.S. and Russia will colonize it and occupy all the benefits that
should be shared with all human beings. Being aware of the concerns of other
countries, Barack Obama, President of the United States, recently had just claimed
that international cooperation of outer space expedition should be much more
emphasized. The International Space Law is nowadays under construction to assure
that all countries can share the good fortune brought by outer space mission.
Then, someone may ask “Why don’t we just send an exploratory machine to
Mars instead of sending real men?” Although a robot mission is cheaper and safer, it
is proved that the best way to attain knowledge is with human scientist. Chris Welch,
a lecturer in space technology at Kingston University, once said “Robot can do a lot,
but having multiple trained human beings there would tell us so much more.” A real
person with scientific or geographic expertise can correctly pick up the most crucial
or valuable materials for experiments. Since we have already devoted uncountable
money and human resource on robot-exploration, why don’t we spend more to make
the program more efficient and productive? If we can make one flight very
contributive to all human being, then why should we hesitate to challenge the
difficulty?
Finally, a manned flight to Mars elevates mankind not only materially, but also
spiritually. A success on outer space mission has always been a great stimulation for
every man and woman. President George W. Bush once said, “Mankind is drawn to
the heavens of the same reason we were once drawn to unknown lands and across the
open sea. We choose to explore space because doing so improves our lives and lifts
our national spirit.” People of all ages and all races must be strongly impressed by the
epoch-making action of Apollo program in the 1960s to 1970s, which created a
generation of astronaut heroes. Being motivated by the priceless triumph, people are
now so fascinated about the imaginary future on Mars.
To sum up, no matter how challenging the mission is, we should have
confidence and ambition to pursue the dream. It is not just a mission to fulfill the
curiosity of people, but (a) marvelous millstone that (is) related to the present and
future of all mankind. As all the hard work that human beings have (been) paid for
such a long term, we should be optimistic and supportive to back a manned flight to
Mars, no matter how arduous it is.
Reference:
Joulwan, M. “You Decide: Manned Mission to Mars.” 13 May 2004 KQED.
Retrieved on 10 June, 2004 from
<http://www.kqed.org/topics/news/perspectives/youdecide/pop/mars/index.jsp?flash=t
rue/>
Smith, L. “Terraforming Mars” 25 Oct. 2006. Retrieved on 28 April, 2009 from
<http://web.archive.org/web/20070915152013/http://aerospacescholars.jsc.nasa.gov/
HAS/cirr/em/10/10.cfm>
Steck, T. L. “Human Population Explosion” 18 Sep. 2008. Retrieved on 28
April, 2009 from <http://www.eoearth.org/article/Human_population_explosion>
The Central News Agency 美政府救市 上半年度預算赤字直逼 1 兆美元 11
April, 2009 Retrieved on 28 April, 2009 from
<http://tw.money.yahoo.com/news_article/adbf/d_a_090411_1_1fvdk>
Bloomberg 歐巴馬將整合國防部與太空總署對抗中國 2 Jan, 2009
Retrieved on 28 April, 2009 from
http://www.cna.com.tw/SearchNews/doDetail.aspx?id=200901020172
Comments on Melody’s Paper:
1.
The yellow highlights are the grammatical errors, in this case very few,
that we noticed.
2.
Several pieces of quote/fact need to be provided with more details.
3.
There’s no problem with the grammar and language in this paper, yet
there is a sight structural problem. In paragraph 2, three opponent ideas
are mentioned, yet the following paragraphs do not seem to argue
against them in the order in which those ideas are mentioned. In
paragraph 3, the first sentence “…the expense on outer space discovery
is essential for the limitless potential of a Mars mission…” seems to
cue the readers that this is the defense part on the money aspect of this
issue, yet the following elaboration shifts to the focus of a new
program, which seems to retort the opposite argument that “the
technology is not advanced enough.” Anyhow, the arrangement of
paragraphs is not very parallel, or neat, therefore makes the ideas a bit
confusing to readers.
Grade: 88, you can improve this paper by simply following either of these
structures:
1. Point-by-point (separate the opponent arguments into different paragraphs
and attack each one of them straight ahead in each paragraphs.)
2. Mention all the opponent ideas in one paragraph and then develop your
arguments against those ideas into separate but order-following paragraphs.
It would be even better if you briefly mention again which of the ideas is it
that you are attacking in the beginning of each arguing paragraphs.