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“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words, tone of voice and body language. Destructive Communication Blaming Interrupting Endless Fighting Character Assassination Calling in Reinforcements Withdrawal Need to be Right Blaming – Frequently blame each other while trying to find out who is at “fault”, who started the fight, etc.” Examples – You are the one that’s not listening. You did this…. You should of … Interrupting – Interrupts another person, it is a sign that one idea is more important than another. Stop communication, Shows disregard for other person’s ideas. Endless Fighting – Arguments that never end. Bring up the old issues that have nothing to do with what’s happening now. Examples: Just like when you… Character Assassination – Name calling, belittling comments about sensitive subjects, and insulting remarks. (Sarcasm) Examples: Destroys self-esteem, trust, and communication. Calling In Reinforcements – Involves outsiders in your personal relationships and quarrels. Example: to save face Withdrawal – Withdrawing from communication avoiding conversation in families communicates hurt, rejection, neglect, indifference, &/or anger. Example: “I don’t care” “fine” “I’ll do it” Need to be right – Some people refuse to admit any need to always be right. Compromise is a win-win situation. Constructive Communication “I” Messages Clarity Timing Asking Questions Reflective Listening Respect and Consideration Avoiding Intense Anger “I” Messages – State the feelings and thoughts you are having at the time of communication. Lets others know how you feel without making people defensive. Examples “I feel frustrated when… I am angry because you forgot… Clarity – Meaning what you say and then saying what you mean. Problem is interpretation. (Sarcasm) Example: I hope you had a great time at the movie last night with all your other friends! Timing – Select a good time to do your important communicating. Examples: Asking for something when parents walk in from work. Asking Questions – People seldom say what they really mean the first time. Example: Why, What, Where, When, Do you mean…. Reflective Listening – listener mirrors back thoughts and/or feelings the speaker is experiencing. Purpose is to clarify. Example: Are you saying? You seem to be saying? Respect and Consideration – One sure way of ending good communication is by being critical or judgmental. Respect the other person’s point of view. Avoiding Intense Anger – Sometimes we become to emotional to communicate effectively. “I” Messages State the feelings and thoughts you are having at the time of communication. - “I feel … when … because …” - “I would like …” Don’t blame the other person. Shouting Name Calling Physical expression Roadblocks Destroys Self- Esteem and creates Fear.