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Emotions
Emotions Vocabulary
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Cooperation
Relationship
Empathy
Sympathy
Defense Mechanism
Conflict
Effective Communication
“I”Message
Active Listening
Body Language
Constructive Criticism
Compromise
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Tolerance
Emotions
Depression
Cluster Suicide
Resilience
Psychiatrist
Psychologist
Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict Resolution
Mediation
Negotiation
Prejudice
Apathy
Types of Communication
• Verbal – use of
language and words
to convey a message
– Speaking skills
– Listening skills
• Nonverbal –
communication
without using words
– Use of signs or
symbols
– Body language
The basic level of
communication
• Sender-one who sends the message
• Channel- the format that the message is sent
• Noise-distractors that are present “ie loud restaurant,
static over radio, students talking in class during
instruction”
• Receiver- the one receiving the message
• Feedback-acknowledgement of understanding the
message
Levels of Communicationfrom lowest to highest
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Phatic Communication
Factual Communication
Evaluative Communication
Gut-level Communication
Peak Communication
Phatic Communication:
• Phatic Communication: Using conventional messages to establish
rapport, to break the ice, and/or to end a conversation. You might
hug, kiss, shake hands, bow, smile, make eye contact, and face one
another. We exchange pleasantries by using cliches. Clichés are
overused expressions that have lost their original (content)
meanings and have taken on new relational meanings. We expect
phatic communication at the beginning and end of every
conversation, regardless of our feelings about a person.
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Examples: Hello. How are you?
I’m fine. How are you?
Hi. Paper or plastic?
Thanks for coming. Have a nice day.
You’re welcome.
Factual Communication
• Factual communication: Using events, making observations, offering
knowledge to others in a manner which can be called chit chat or
small talk. At business parties, we rely upon factual communication
to network, to schmooze, and to work the room. Factual
communication includes reporting what you’ve read in a textbook,
what you’ve studied for a test, showing pictures of your children, and
exchanging biographical information about yourself. Factual
communication is relatively safe and most do this well.
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Examples: I’m majoring in business administration.
I’m married with three children, two sons and one daughter.
Did you watch the basketball game last night?
What did we do in class last Friday?
Evaluative Communication
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Evaluative communication: Offering opinions, ideas and judgments to others. This is
risky business because the odds are that others will reciprocate with their own
evaluations, which may be different from yours. When people consistently use
evaluative communication, they must be prepared for eventual conflict. Many U.S.
Americans enjoy sharing at this level and feel that disagreeing with others is useful
and invigorating. Unfortunately, many of us don’t use evaluative communication with
a high level of competence. It’s important to consider the value of critical and creative
thinking, as well as the relational meanings of messages that are exchanged. When
using evaluative communication, consider carefully the importance of descriptive,
provisional, and responsible expressions. Strive to avoid cautionary language,
sarcasm, and nonverbal put-downs (e.g., rolling your eyes in response to another’s
comments).
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Examples: Of all my children, my daughter is the better athlete.
I thought that movie was excellent, particularly with the surprising ending.
I’m not convinced that your argument is well supported.
I agree with you!
Gut-Level Communication
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Gut-level communication involves sharing our emotions and feelings with
another. We are sharing our very essence when we allow others to know
our heart. This is risky business! Societies place constraints upon the
specific emotions which can be conveyed (e.g., It’s good to express love;
it’s bad to express hatred). We also have rules about when and how
feelings can be expressed ("That was the wrong time and place for arguing
with your spouse.")
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Emotional intelligence involves interpersonal competencies including selfawareness, self control, flexibility and empathy.
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Examples: I deeply appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity in
helping me earlier.
I’m so frustrated with you!
I’m wish that I hadn’t called you that name. I hope that you’ll forgive me.
He called me! I’m so excited to see him again!
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Peak Communication
• Peak communication: Coming together with another in an
extraordinary way. Two individuals who are gut leveling experience
a transformation when they are sharing the exact same emotion with
the same level of intensity. This is also called, "communal-level
communication." It’s as if, for the moment, two souls merge into one.
Peak communication is rare, even among close friends and family
members.
• Examples: I love you. I love you too.
• I’m so angry with you. I’m so angry with you as well.
• I’m glad that we were able to fight long enough to get this resolved.
Yes, I feel exactly the same way, glad that we communicated
collaboratively.
• I’m scared. I’m scared too
General Thoughts on Levels of
Communication
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The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the harder it is to do. Indeed,
sharing our opinions and emotions is risky business. We minimize the risk when we
move through the levels of communication incrementally. That is, each conversation
ought to begin with phatic communication and move through the levels (however
quickly seems appropriate) before moving to the more intimate levels.
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Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate at the same level of intensity.
There is a social convention to match levels. If the other initiates a conversation at
the evaluative level, we often feel compelled to respond in kind. This is dangerous.
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Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for those whom we trust. Trust is
a function of confidence, commitment, and time. We generally share our essence
with those we’ve known a long time. To do with others is pseudo-intimacy
• Worksheet on different levels of
communication where the students will
depict its level
Barriers to Good Communication
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InterruptingChallenging/Contradicting
Dominating
Judging
Advising
Interpreting
Probing
Criticizing/Put-downs
Barriers to Good Communication
• Interrupting- when the person who is
listening disrupts the person talking by not
letting them finish their complete thought.
Barriers to Good Communication
• Challenging/Contradicting- when the
receiver challenges everything the sender
says.
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Challenging
Sender “That was a good movie”
Receiver “That movie was garbage”
Sender “Well we had a good meal”
Receiver “I’ve had better”
Contradicting
Sender “that car is grey”
Receiver “No that car is lavender”
Barriers to Good Communication
• Dominating- when a person takes over a
conversation and won’t let the other
person put any input into the subject
matter.
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Ball hog Allen Iverson won’t let teammates
shoot the ball, thus his teammates lose interest. Just
as in a conversation the receiver who is not given a
chance to provide any feedback loses interest.
Barriers to Good Communication
• Judging/Criticizing- when the sender is
judging others (negatively). The receiver
is put off by the negative comments and
does not want to partake in a
conversation.
Barriers to Good Communication
• Advising- when the sender is counseling
the receiver in areas of his or her life.
When advising is done correctly can be a
positive for good communication. When
overused or done incorrectly it can lead to
being a barrier to good communication.
Barriers to Good Communication
• Interpreting-when people hear and see
something the same and interpret it with
two different meanings
• “they fed her dog meat”
• “I’m having a friend for lunch”
• “I saw her duck”
• Worksheet were the students depict what
barrier was used or have students create
them
Self-Esteem and Communication
• Positive Comments
– I like your hair
– You look nice today
– That was a great
game yesterday
• Negative Comments
– Who dressed you
today
– You loser
– What did you do to
your hair
Ways you can express your needs
• Assertive
• Aggressive
• Passive
Ways you can express your needs
• Assertive- someone who is assertive
gets his or her message out while respecting
another persons view and their rights
Ways you can express your needs
• Aggressive- an aggressive person
gets their message out without any regard to
other peoples rights or feelings. Usually by
yelling
Ways you can express your needs
• Passive- a passive person expressing
their needs or message will be often shy, quiet,
and not speak up when confronted with an
issue or when their rights have been violated.
How You Communicate
• I Messages- an I-message or I-statement is an assertion
about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking,
generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I",
and is contrasted with a "you-message",.
• Situation- your friend is having a party and did not invite you.
• I message –I was a little upset over the fact I was not invited
• Wrong way—you did not invite me, why
• The receiver will feel less threatened and will open up a little
more to the senders feelings and not be so defensive in their
response
I message worksheet
6 Basic Emotions
• Love-Strong affection, deep concern, and respect. Love can be
applied to various people and things each with different
interpretations.
• Family
• Friends
• Romantic
• Agape – selfless love of one person for
another without sexual implications
(especially love that is spiritual in nature)
• Fear
– Feeling or believing you are in danger
• Anxiety – fear of the future or unknown
• Phobia – unreasonable fear of an object or
situation
• Jealousy – fear of losing something you
already have
• Envy – fear that you cannot get what
someone else has
• Guilt
– Feeling of having done something
wrong even if you did not
– Acting against ones values
– Failing to act when action might have
brought about a better outcome
• Grief
– Deep sorrow caused by the loss of someone
or something you cannot get back
• Empathy- feeling sad for someone
• Sympathy- understanding the sadness
someone is going through
– Despair – feeling of complete hopelessness
or loss of confidence
• Grief
• Stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining,
Depression, Acceptance
• Remember, grieving is a personal process that
has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it.
• Denial-The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a
cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a
defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock.
• Anger- is the second stage of denial. In this stage the pain is still
fresh and it manifest itself into anger. This anger is then displaced
on someone or something.
• Examples- some dies from getting hit by a bus by walking out into
the street. We would then blame or be mad at the bus driver, the
person walking for not looking both ways, or the doctor for not
saving the individual.
• Bargaining- The normal reaction to feelings of
helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain
control–
• If only we had sought medical attention sooner…
• If only we got a second opinion from another doctor…
• If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…
• Depression- deepened level of
sadness. Sadness and regret
predominate this type of depression.
• Acceptance- In the final stage individuals understand the emotions
that they are feeling. They still feel sadness of the events that took
place and are able to accept what happened
• Happiness
– Being satisfied or feeling positive
– Energetic, creative, sociable
– Joy – warmth and a sense of well-being
• Anger
– Strong feeling of displeasure ranging
from annoyance to complete fury
• Frustration – feeling of disappointment
• Hostility – feeling or behaving in an
unfriendly manner
• Free-floating – not aimed at anyone or
anything
Mini - Project
Emotions
Quiz
Exit Slip
• Many people believe in the idea of a
“random act of kindness”. Have you ever
thought about doing this or have you ever
done something nice for no reason? What
could you do or what have you done?
Why? Explain your thinking.
(Write 4-5 sentences in paragraph form)
Violence
• Violence - the threatened or actual use of
physical force or power to harm another
person or to damage property.
• Bullying – the act of seeking power or
attention through the psychological,
emotional, verbal, or physical abuse of
another person.
• Sexual Harassment – uninvited and
unwelcome sexual conduct directed at
another person.
Risk Factors for Violence
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Availability of weapons
Media influence
Alcohol and other drugs
Mental/Emotional issues
Poverty
Causes of Violence
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Need to control others
Way of expressing anger
Prejudice (Hate Crimes)
Retaliation
Types of Violence
• Assault – unlawful attack on a person with the
intent to harm or kill
– Stalking – repeated following, harassment, or
threatening of an individual to frighten or cause harm.
• Random violence – committed for no particular
reason
• Homicide – willful killing of one human being by
another
• Sexual violence – any form of unwelcome sexual
conduct directed at an individual, including
sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape
Avoiding Violence
• Avoid unsafe areas, including places with
high crime rates
• Don’t carry your wallet or purse in an
open, easy-to-grab place
• Walk briskly and confidently, always look
as though you know where you are going
and what you are doing
• Avoid walking alone at night, in wooded
areas, or in dark alleys
Let your family know where you are going and
when you will return
• Don’t get into an elevator with a stranger
• Do not hitchhike or give rides to strangers
• Avoid the use of alcohol and other drugs
• If you drive:
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Park in a well-lit area
Have your keys out and ready
Before getting in, look in back seat
Wait for someone you dropped off to enter the
building before you leave them
Violence Worksheet
Defense Mechanisms
• Protect your mental health from hurtful
experiences
• NOT the same as lying
• Three basic categories are based on how
constructive or helpful they are
Rarely Constructive
• Denial: Refusal to recognize reality, deny
the truth
• Negativism: Refusing to do something in
order to avoid possible failure
• Reaction Formation: Expression of an
emotion opposite of what you really feel
• Regression: Acting in an immature way
Sometimes Constructive
• Displacement: Shifting the expression of
feelings about one person onto another
• Idealization: Seeing others as you want
them to be, with no faults
• Projection: Seeing your own faults or
feelings in others
• Rationalization: Making an excuse for a
mistake or failure
Often Constructive
• Compensation: Covering up faults by
excelling in other areas
• Daydreaming: Creation of make believe
events
• Identification: Feeling connected and
similar to someone
• Sublimation: Replacement of an
undesirable outlet of emotions with a
positive one
• YouTube
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnRBA
U6Yg2A
• Defensive mechanism PowerPoint
Suicide
• Causes
– Extreme Stress
– Extreme Depression
– Alienation – feeling isolated and separated
from everyone else
Warning Signs
• Talking or writing about it
– 80% of people who write or talk about it, attempt it!
• Losing interest in school, friends, sports
• Giving away favorite things
• Dropping social inhibitions
• Behaving emotionally for no reason
• Becoming accident prone
• Increased use of drugs and alcohol
• Possessing pills or weapons
• Change in eating or sleeping patterns
Helping Others
• Initiate a meaningful conversation
• Show support and ask questions
– Friends can be the MOST helpful people
• Try to persuade the person to seek help
– A suicidal person CAN recover completely
• Take any threat seriously
– Just because a person seems better does
NOT mean the danger is over right away
Treating Depression
• Talk to someone
• Get help from a professional
– Depression may be hereditary but suicide is
NOT
• Get a complete medical physical
Where to Go For Help
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Private Doctor
Crisis Hotlines
Counselor
Social Worker
Hospital
Suicide Worksheet
TEST - Emotions