Download Chapter 7 “Building Effective Interpersonal Relationships”

Chapter 7 “Building
Effective Interpersonal
Relationships”
1
Section 1 “Understanding
Interpersonal Relationships”
2
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
3
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Management/employees
4
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Management/employees
1. Communication with upper-management
and employees may be indirect
2. Communication between mid and lower
level is more direct, immediate and
ongoing
5
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Management/employees
3. Importance



Establishes positive climate
Boosts morale
Increases productivity and satisfaction
6
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Management/employees
4. Purpose



Invites participation, suggestions,
constructive criticism and questions
Creates climate of mutual ownership
Makes business operate more successfully
7
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Employees/other employees
8
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employees/other employees
1. Each has designated role
2. Tension and competition can create
barriers to communication
3. Must view self as valued and equal
4. Appreciate others contributions
5. Work together to accomplish goals
9
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employee/other employees
5. Importance

So important companies may sponsor social
events to develop closer, positive
relationships
10
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employee/other employees
6. Purpose




Creates better understanding
More likely to cooperate and communicate
productively
Adds enjoyment to job
Better workers
11
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employee/public
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Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employee/public
1. Affect business

Dress conveys attitude, friendliness,
professionalism, etc.
13
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships

Employee/public
2. Importance



Positive relationship increases repeat business
Open communication reduces misunderstandings
and creates faster solutions
Communication by customer can create greater
service by employee
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Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Professional Relationships
 Employee/public
3. Purpose





Creates goodwill and loyalty
Better work; less turn over
Loyalty of customers
Good word of mouth creates more business
Repeat customer = better bottom line
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Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 Leadership/membership
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Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 Leadership/membership
1. Work stays on track; goals accomplished
2. Easier to share ideas and solve
problems
3. Builds cohesiveness
17
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 Leadership/membership
4. Importance


Without ties, difficult to work as group
Lack of one-to-one can create lack of
interest, direction, low morale,
ineffectiveness
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Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 Leadership/membership
5. Purpose


Build sense of interdependence and
facilitate achievement of goals
Respect for leadership is essential for
accomplishments
19
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/member
20
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/member
1. Common qualities provide base for
relationships
2. Importance



Reach goals and advance causes
Sponsor events to promote goodwill
between members
Most events are “icebreakers”
21
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/member
3. Purpose



Set aside personal interest and focus on
group goal
Individual benefit is a side effect
Main purpose is group cohesiveness
22
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/public
23
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/public
1. Image plays large role in group success
2. Each member is ambassador to public
perception
3. Communication should be positive

Say something good or say nothing at all
24
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/public
4. Importance




Goodwill of public can generate funding or
support
Can promote cooperation to eliminate
barriers
Allows community input regarding work
Organizations can provide special services
for the public
25
Relationships in Professional and
Social Contexts
Types of Social Relationships
 member/public
5. Purpose



Create goodwill and support goals
Behavior and communication skills can
shape overall opinion of organization
Relationship with public plays large part of
success or failure of organization
26
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
27
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Openness
28
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Openness
 Willing to share ideas and feeling
appropriately to others
 Willing to listen carefully and consider
ideas and feeling of others
 Willing to reflect on effectiveness of
communication and adapt to be more
productive
29
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Openness
 Use “I” messages to demonstrate
ownership of thoughts and ideas
1. Use active listening and provide
feedback to show interest in others ideas
2. Use intrapersonal and interpersonal
perception checks
3. Carefully reflect on message so you can
adapt and make appropriate decisions
30
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Empathy
31
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Empathy
 Involves feeling “with” rather than “for” someone
 When you can understand someone’s ideas and
feelings your relationship is more likely to be
harmonious and productive
 Use appropriate facial expressions, eye contact
and posture to demonstrate interest
 Respect other’s feeling of personal space and
physical contact
32
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Empathy
 Use tentative but supportive language to
show you don’t know all the answers but
are willing to find them
 Use perception checks and descriptive
language to help the other person express
exactly what he is feeling
 Listen without judging the feelings as right
or wrong
33
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Equality
34
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Equality
 Competent communicators view others as
equals
 It embraces personal and cultural
differences
 Has equal respect, rights, opportunities
and dignity regardless of status or ability
35
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Equality
 Lays foundation for “win-win” situation
1. Make sure V and NV express respect,
courtesy and tact
2. Avoid evaluative or judgmental language
3. Demonstrate willingness to listen without
interrupting or responding with
judgmental statements
36
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Equality
 Lays foundation for “win-win” situation
4. Use feed-forward statements to
personalize messages
5. Use perception checks to show interest
and clarify understanding
37
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Supportiveness
38
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Supportiveness
 Care for and respect others
 Encourage and help others reach goals
 Build trust and loyalty
39
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Supportiveness
 Contagious- when you support others,
it’s more likely to be returned
1. Use descriptive not evaluative language
2. Speak in terms of possibilities, not
certainties
3. Avoid pressing and negative strategies
such as “you”, “why” questions, label or
names
40
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Supportiveness
 Contagious- when you support others,
it’s more likely to be returned
4. Be an active attentive listener
5. Give appropriate NV feedback
6. Use perception checks to show interest
and clarify understanding
41
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Positiveness
42
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Positiveness
 Based on positive attitudes and
communication that moves relationships
and tasks toward mutually rewarding
results
 Marked by optimism, confidence that you
and others can accomplish goals
43
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Positiveness
 Encourages others through your
enthusiasm
 Tends to see element of hope or humor in
even the most difficult situations
 Focuses on solutions more than problems
44
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Positiveness
 Provides constructive criticism and well
deserved praise
1. Adjust attitudes to look at bright side
2. Expect best from yourself and others
3. Be generous with sincere compliments
and praise
4. Be active listener with true concern
45
Characteristics of Productive
Interpersonal Communication
Positiveness
 Provide constructive criticism and well
deserved praise
5. Uses NV to show interest and pleasant
frame of mind
6. Provide feedback that encourages and
gives sense of hope
46
Integrating Interpersonal Skill with
Task Skill
47
Integrating Interpersonal Skill with
Task Skill

1.
2.
Clarity, efficiency, and accuracy are
necessary to carry out tasks effectively
Integrate with interpersonal skills
Balance provides more personal
satisfaction than task skills alone
48
Section 2
“Personal Style in
Interpersonal
Relationships”
49
Dominant
50
Dominant


1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
15 % of population
Behaviors
Fast paced/task oriented
Considered “mover/shaker” – gets things done
Will do whatever is necessary to overcome
obstacles
Skilled at providing direction to others
Sought as leaders
Will delegate to those deemed competent
51
Dominant

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Speaks
Direct and to the point
Can be blunt and critical
Can be sarcastic
Gives instruction for big picture but omits
details to be accomplished before project
can begin
Inspires others but may be overly
optimistic
52
Dominant
Speaks
6. Doesn’t hide accomplishments and may be
self-centered
7. Will escalate conflict
8. Can be manipulative to get results
9. Will close off communication when highly
stressed
10. Sometimes needs to be confronted to get
attention
11. You may have to push back to get respect

53
Dominant

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Listens
Not patient; seldom seeks opinions
Wants brief answers
Wants bottom line first – reasons second
Asks if they want more detail
Is more interested in task information
than people issues
54
Dominant

1.
2.
3.
4.
How to speak to dominates
Provide brief, direct, to-the-point answers
Ask “what” not “how” questions
Stick to business; outline possibilities to
get results, solve problems or be in
charge
Stress logic of ideas or approaches
55
Dominant

5.
6.
7.
How to talk to dominate
Agree with facts or ideas, not person
Provide facts, figures about probability of
success or effectiveness of options
Show how they will reach goals
56
Influencing
57
Influencing
15% of population
 Behaviors
1. Fast paced/people oriented
2. Has an interactor style
3. Tends to be extroverted, enthusiastic,
outgoing, spontaneous and optimistic
4. Appear stylish
58
Influencing

5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Behaviors
Likes stimulating conversation
Has difficulty with routine tasks
Gets results by influencing and
persuading
Valued and sought for fun-loving attitude
Enjoys recognition of achievements
59
Influencing

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Speaks
Friendly; initiates conversation
Spontaneous and often humorous
Makes positive, enthusiastic remarks
Physically expressive with face, tone and
gestures
Often promises more than can be
delivered
60
Influencing

6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Speaks
Uses excuses
Influences and persuades through verbal
praise
Makes judgments intuitively instead of
analyzing data
Physical communicator – shakes hands,
hugs, pats shoulders
Need to verbally express at length
61
Influencing

1.
2.
3.
4.
Listens
Responsive
Encouraging V and NV
Interrupts to compare experiences, not
dominate
Very empathic due to high degree of
emotionality
62
Influencing

5.
6.
7.
Listens
Hears only what he wants
May not hear negatives
Reacts too quickly to speaker’s first
words
63
Influencing

1.
2.
3.
4.
How to speak to an influencing
Be a good listener
Provide chances for verbalizing about
ideas, people or intuitions
Speak in democratic terms – “we” not
“I’m the boss; do as I say”
Give big picture without getting bogged
down with detail- put details in writing
64
Influencing
How to speak to influencing
Provide testimonials
Provide extra incentives – likes to be
recognized as a leader
Lead step-by-step to conclusions – tend
to jump and not be analytical
Use small talk before getting down to
business

5.
6.
7.
8.
65
Influencing

9.
10.
11.
12.
How to speak to influencing
Be VERY realistic – he doesn’t need
support from you
Give clear instruction – get firm
commitment in writing or through
handshake
Use confrontation as last resortpersuasion and encouragement work
better
Accept failures and encourage – don’t
punish
66
Steady
67
Steady


1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
35% of population
Behaviors
Slow paced – both people/task oriented
Typically cooperative/efficient
Can be counted on to get a job done
Fairly reserved
Pays attention to detail
Loves structure
68
Steady

7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Behaviors
Very stable
Good team player but pessimistic
Appears casual or conforming
Reaches objectives through cooperation
Tends to have warm personality and
calming effect on others
69
Steady

1.
2.
3.
4.
Speaks
Usually not initiator of conversations or
new ideas
Likes stability of groups – uses “we” or
“us”
Gives practical advice
Asks “how” not “when” or “if” questions –
uncomfortable initiating decisions
70
Steady

5.
6.
7.
8.
Speaks
Thinks things over
Faithful/loyal – sometimes to a fault
May not communicate well under stress
– keeps thoughts and feelings to self –
becomes silent or non-involved
Will not attack- suppresses anger but
holds grudges
71
Steady

9.
10.
11.
12.
Speaks
Stores up grievances; ultimately making
him suspicious of others
Can overuse kindness when
assertiveness is more effective
Often doesn’t say “no” when needed
Presents thought out, step-by-step,
orderly plans
72
Steady

13.
14.
15.
Speaks
Can be blunt when disagreeing or
defending self
Withholds expression of true feelings;
rarely expresses much enthusiasm
Tends to think in term of either/or; rarely
thinks to compromise
73
Steady

1.
2.
3.
Listens
Patient empathic listener due to people
involvement
Demands honesty and openness
Tends to withhold evaluative feedback;
has excellent insight but won’t share
unless asked
74
Steady

4.
5.
6.
Listens
Creates open-door atmosphere in which
sharing work and family issues is
acceptable
Controls emotional expression so
speaker feels accepted
Can be wonderful conversationalist
because he is wonderful listener
75
Steady

1.
2.
3.
4.
How to speak to a steady
Provide a sincere, personable, agreeable
environment
Show sincere interest in person,
particularly in his family
Ask “how” questions to get opinions
Draw out goals systematically
76
Steady

5.
6.
7.
8.
How to speak to a steady
Present new ideas or departure from
status quo in non-threatening manner
and show the benefits
Clearly define goals in new plans and
point out how he fits into those plans
Provide personal assurance and
reassurance
Give specific, constant appreciation
77
Steady

9.
10.
11.
12.
How to speak to a steady
Refrain from aggression, ultimatums and
conflict
Always use logical, systematic rationales
when explaining or asking for
cooperation
Give time to process and make decisions
Be loyal and supportive
78
Conscientious
79
Conscientious


1.
2.
3.
4.
35 % of population
Behaviors
Slow paced/task oriented
Highly analytical perfectionists who love
detail
Tend to be introverted and guarded in
relationships
Avoid risk-taking at all costs
80
Conscientious

5.
6.
7.
8.
Behaviors
Seeks safety of rules and regulations
Appears formal and conservative
Follows rules/meets deadlines – expects
others to do the same
Gets results from working within
guidelines or structure to ensure quality
and accuracy
81
Conscientious

9.
10.
Behaviors
Often prefers to work alone rather than in
groups
Sought for advice about details and
routine
82
Conscientious

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Speaks
Passes the buck if asked for answers
Yields a position to avoid controversy
Defensive when threatened
Exact about details; may talk at length
about details that seem unimportant to
others
Feels quality is extremely important
83
Conscientious

6.
7.
8.
Speaks
Asks MANY, MANY detailed questions to
clarify others’ positions
Slow to respond due to processing ALL
information
Extremely critical of own work and highly
critical of others not meeting
expectations
84
Conscientious

9.
10.
11.
Speaks
Influences by collecting and organizing
factual data and logical presentations
Seldom admits true emotional reactions
and will withhold insights and opinions
until feels it safe to share
Seldom gives positive feedback or
appreciation to others
85
Conscientious

12.
13.
14.
15.
Speaks
Has a special talent for organizing and
communicating instructs correctly
Follows rules and fulfills commitments
Will seek opinions to argue or move on
to seek someone else’s opinion
Very cautious about expressing opinions
or making decisions until all data has
been checked and rechecked
86
Conscientious

16.
17.
18.
Speaks
Enjoys intellectual argument as a way of
exercising reasoning ability
Seems to take little initiative or contribute
few ideas
Fears criticism and may keep to self to
feel protected
87
Conscientious

1.
2.
3.
Listens
Attentive, intuitive listener; sensitive to
feelings of speaker
Misses main point and get off on
tangents
Asks MANY, MANY questions, which at
times may feel like attacks
88
Conscientious

4.
5.
Listens
Needs to hear the same thing
repeatedly, reprocess the same info and
ask the same questions
Takes criticism or comments personally
although not aimed directly at him
89
Conscientious

1.
2.
3.
How to speak to a conscientious
Take time to prepare a logical case in
advance
Provide straight pros and cons of ideas
and support ideas with accurate data
Provide exact job description with
precise explanation of how each fits into
the big picture
90
Conscientious

4.
5.
6.
7.
How to speak to a conscientious
Provide reassurance of no surprises
Provide step-by-step approach to goal
Be specific if agreeing; disagree with
facts not person
Prepare to provide MANY explanations
and answer “how” and “if” questions in a
patient manner
91
Conscientious

8.
9.
10.
11.
How to speak to a conscientious
Encourage V independence as well as
job independence
Provide MANY assurances that you
value quality and accuracy
Refrain from antagonistic responses that
breed withdrawal and avoidance
Offer much reassurance and support
92
Analyzing Style to Prevent
Interpersonal Conflict
Adapt own behavior slightly from
relationship to relationship
 Realize that a person’s communication
style is his natural orientation toward
getting work done; it has nothing to do with
his perception of you
 Less likely to clash if you realize that four
styles are necessary to get work done

93
Analyzing Style to Prevent
Interpersonal Conflict
“D”s get us going and keep us on task
 “I”s provides optimism, energy and humor
to create positive creative atmosphere
 “S”s calm us down and get us to slow
down so we can do the job right
 “C”s keep us on task and in line with the
rules

94
1.
Adventurous
 Polished
 Stable

95
2.
Receptive
 Determined
 Enthusiastic

96
3.
Steady
 Exacting
 original

97
4.
Poised
 Patient
 Orderly

98
5.
Forceful
Persuasive
Settled
99
6.
Cautious
Bold
Outgoing
100
7.



Persistent
Cooperative
Brave
101
8.
Attractive
Controlled
Correct
102
9.



Competitive
Diplomatic
Accommodating
103
10.
Careful
Decisive
Popular
104
11.
Dependable
Accurate
Inventive
105
12.
Convincing
Consistent
Open-minded
106
13.
Positive
Cordial
Even-tempered
107
14.



Conservative
Eager
Entertaining
108
15.



Amiable
Systematic
Self-reliant
109
16.
Sociable
Unhurried
Precise
110