Download Communication: Men vs. Women

Communication: Men vs. Women
By: Missy Hutchison
Research Paper
SLCC English 1010
Men vs. Women 1
Communication: Men vs. Women
Abstract:
This research paper is about the psychology of communication between a man and a woman.
The communication between them is very different, and often not understood. Many people have
different observations why people act the way that they do, but in this paper you will learn that men
and women are simply just different. Studies and researchers have found that men and women have
completely different views on what a conversation is, which leads to different perspectives during an
actual conversation. Every little thing matters within a conversation, and it will be taught that men and
women use physical communication is different ways also. From the beginning of time the
communication between a man and a woman has been different and it will forever remain this way, due
to your gender. Through lots of research from various sources, there is a lot to be learned. But, in a way
it is all connected together how a man and a woman communicate differently.
Intro:
It is obvious that human beings are different than animals. This doesn’t just mean a physical
difference, but a difference in habits and communication. The human race is clearly different than any
other species, but who knew humans could be different from each other? Of course there are many
sayings on billboards telling people to be different, but this is not what is being intended within this
research. There is a different species WITHIN the human race, and this is men and women. Some may
argue that your communication has to do with how you were raised and not your gender, this could be
true! But there is a clear pattern of communication skills between men and women. Hearing about
these patterns and skills will better aware those who read.
Statistics:
Men vs. Women 2
Before getting into actual communication, it is important to note that while men are speaking
around 12,000 words a day, women are speaking around 25,000. Add a little or subtract a little, but this
is factual for the average man and woman (Goldsmith, B.). It is very obvious to see that women tend to
have a lot more to say than men do.
Perspectives:
Although men and women both have legs, arms, ears, a mouth, two eyes, feet and thumbs;
their brains work different ways. It is understood that men and women see the world through “different
perspectives (Drobnick, R.)”. They both have completely opposite views on communication. Men like to
go into a conversation with a purpose. They like to believe that they are about to solve any problem
and/or get any point across that they feel is necessary. Men do not normally enjoy the wishy-washy
conversations (Drobnick, R.). Men are known for being the independent gender, and they like to feel
that way. Getting caught up in emotional conversations tends to make the typical man feel lessmasculine. Men do not like this at all. This is why when men are thought of as tough. Emotion could be
uncomfortable for them. (Evans, L.)
Women, in this aspect, are completely different. While men want acknowledgement, women
just like to be included in general (Evans, L.). “She uses communication to explore and organize her
thoughts — to discover the point of the story. She may not know what information is necessary or
excessive until the words come spilling out. But a woman isn’t necessarily searching for a solution when
she initiates a conversation. She’s looking for someone to listen and understand what she’s feeling.
(Evans, L.)” This is a very important fact to notice about the way women communicate. Women love
feeling understood.
“It is interesting to note that women think and feel at the same time, while men can only think
or feel (Goldsmith, B).” This quote by Goldsmith is very powerful and influential when it comes to
Men vs. Women 3
communication between a man and a woman. It is publicly known that women are naturally better
multi-taskers than men. Men have the power to think and feel at the same time, but they choose not to.
“So it's easy to understand why men have a harder time talking about feelings, it's because they have to
switch gears from their head to their hearts. Sometimes when they have to do it very quickly, they may
feel like the life is being sucked out of them. (Goldsmith, B.)”
Roles:
Other than the physical aspects, communication is the biggest difference between a man and a
woman. The role of a conversation is viewed differently between men and women. Academic research
has found that women use communication to create connections and relationships. This makes sense
due to the fact that women tend to be more expressive toward others. Men view a conversation in
order to “exert dominance”. Women are often more polite while in a conversation, hoping to create a
friendship or a bond. Men may seem duller in a conversation, because they want to be intimidating and
dominant. This is why it may seem that men swear more often than woman. (Merchant, K.)
Meaning:
Other than speaking, there are different ways of communication that may come across as
different from a man or a woman. Who knew that there was a whole other meaning behind a head nod?
Men usually assume if a woman nods, then they understand what they are saying and that they agree. If
a man nods to a woman, the woman believes that the man isn’t truly listening to her. Women prefer
vocal reassurance. When a man nods, it really means he agrees. It is just easier to nod sometimes. When
a woman nods, it just means she is listening. This does not necessarily mean she agrees with the man,
like he may think it does (Lieberman, S.). A great quote from Simma Lieberman says, “Too often men
and women see the differences between each other and make each other wrong, rather than
appreciating how they can benefit from those differences.”
Men vs. Women 4
Human beings are naturally selfish, whether they know it or not. From the beginning, it was
about survival of the fittest and having a dog-eat-dog world. The quote just mentioned by Simma
Lieberman is a reminder that sometimes men and woman don’t take each other’s thought into much
consideration. This is why the difference in communication is so noticeable, because of reactions.
Another communication difference, not based on vocal, is eye contact. Eye contact is huge in
the communication world. It could mean so many different things to different people. Women typically
like eye contact more often than men do. Men prefer not to be face-to-face, because they want to seem
superior. This is ironic because being superior is often what women avoid (Stewart, L).
“Women use an abundance of non-verbal communication such as making eye contact, gesturing
and animated facial expressions, according to psychotherapist Susan Sherwood, Ph.D., in the
article, “10 Ways Men and Women Communicate Differently” on Discovery.com. A woman
often prefers talking while sitting or standing in a cluster of people where everyone is face-toface. A man prefers talking shoulder-to-shoulder in an angled pattern where he and his friends
can take in the room. A woman might gesticulate, raise her eyebrows, incline her head and
shrug her shoulders during the conversation. The man often prefers relaxed, sprawled pose and
keeps the body language and facial expressions more contained.” (Barr, K.)
Different settings inquire different communication. Men are more often communication in a
professional environment. This is where they feel the most comfortable. Women prefer talking while at
home or on the phone. (Barr, K.)
Counterclaim:
There are many arguments that communication does not apply to your gender. Something in
specific is one’s communication comes from the way they were raised. This, in a way, can be true. For
example, a good question is “What if a man has a gay preference?” This is why I was careful to use the
Men vs. Women 5
word “gender” instead of the word “sex”. Your brain decides who you are! But, it is proven that a man
and a woman’s brain is automatically created differently, so that is where confusion may set in. Studies
from all over the world prove this to be true.
Conclusion:
As you can see, the communication between a man and a woman is a vicious cycle. Almost
every communication tactic men and women have involves the man being power-hungry, and the
woman wanting an emotional connection. It is obvious that one simple topic could have endless
possibilities of meaning, and one simple “head nod” or any other movement could reflect the way you
are feeling. Men and woman may have an opposite view within communication, but, the two
communications complete each other when added together.
Men vs. Women 6
Works Cited
Barr, K. (2013, November 5). Male and Female Communication Styles. Retrieved April 24, 2015, from
http://www.livestrong.com/article/188130-male-and-female-communication/
Drobnick, R. (2014, July 16). 5 Ways Men & Women Communicate Differently. Retrieved April 24, 2015,
from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/04/01/6-ways-men-and-womencommunicate-differently/
Evans, L. (2014, June 11). Are We Speaking A Different Language? Men And Women's Communication
Blind Spots. Retrieved April 24, 2015, from http://www.fastcompany.com/3031631/strongfemale-lead/are-we-speaking-a-different-language-men-and-womens-communication-blind-s
Goldsmith, B. (2010, August 31). Men, Women, Emotions and Communication. Retrieved April 24, 2015,
from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201008/men-womenemotions-and-communication
Lieberman, S. (n.d.). Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles. Retrieved April 24, 2015,
from http://www.simmalieberman.com/articles/maleandfemale.html
Merchant, K. (2012, January 1). How Men And Women Differ: Gender Differences in Communication
Styles, Influence Tactics, and Leadership Styles. Retrieved April 24, 2015, from
http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1521&context=cmc_theses
Stewart, L. (2015, April 7). Male and Female Communication: Differences Worth Noting. Retrieved April
24, 2015, from
https://www.achievesolutions.net/achievesolutions/en/Content.do?contentId=10241