Download “Getting Married”

“Getting Married”
Work and the Family
Why Do People Marry?*

The Need for Intimacy



In past societies, intimacy was separate from marriage
In modern times, intimacy is a primary goal of marriage
Social Expectations


All societies have heterosexual marriage as an institution
Marriage is functional (reduces conflict, perpetuates the group)
and thus individuals who do not marry threaten the group
*unless otherwise noted, this information comes from:
Lauer, Robert H. and Jeanette C. Lauer. 2007. Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy. New York:
McGraw-Hill
Why Do People Marry?

Social Ideals and Personal Fulfillment


Desire for Children


Through socialization we develop a sense that marriage is the
way to fulfill some of your basic needs and attain happiness
The task of raising children is easier when married
Practical Solution



Getting away from an undesirable home situation
Economic assistance
Loneliness
For Men
For Women
7 Types of Marriage*

Devitalized – dissatisfied in
their relationship

Financially Focused – Agree on
how to manage money, stay
together for this reason

Conflicted – Agree on some
things (communication), but
not others (parenting of
children)

Balanced – Satisfied on most
dimensions, but money issues
are often a problem
*Lavee, Y., and D.H. Olson. 1993. “Seven Types of Marriage.” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 19: 325 – 340.
7 Types of Marriage*

Harmonious – Great
satisfaction with each other,
but parenting is often a
problem

Traditional – mostly satisfied,
but can be dissatisfied with
communication or sexual
relationship

Vitalized – Highly satisfied
on all dimensions.
*Lavee, Y., and D.H. Olson. 1993. “Seven Types of Marriage.” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 19: 325 – 340.
Adjusting to Marriage

Some marriages begin with disadvantages



Teen marriages – lack of income and maturity
Student marriages – students are stressed and preoccupied
with school that the marriage suffers
Couples that are not homogamous – learning the norms,
values, and beliefs of a different class, culture causes strain
Adjusting to Marriage

Handling the decline of many activities after marriage:








Approving/complimenting a partner
Making partner laugh
Telling partner “I love you”
Taking initiative in sex
Doing something nice for partner
Having sexual relations
Discussing feelings and problems
Talking over things that happened during the day
Lichter and Qian: “Marriage and Family
in a Multi-Racial Society”

This reading discusses recent changes in marriage and
family composition

Provides some explanation for these changes

Discusses the uniqueness of the black family
Lichter and Qian: “Marriage and Family
in a Multi-Racial Society”
Recent changes in marriage and family composition
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Decline in the traditional family
Delays in marriage
More single parent families
Rise in people living alone
People are cohabitating more
Lichter and Qian: “Marriage and Family
in a Multi-Racial Society”
Why do we have these changes?
1.
2.
Changes in the incentives for marriage (mainly for
women)
Changes in sexual attitudes
Lichter and Qian: “Marriage and Family
in a Multi-Racial Society”
The Uniqueness of the Black Family
1.
2.
3.
4.
70% of black children are born to parents out of
wedlock
Most black women who marry end up divorcing
One reason is the suggestion that black women have
been more economically independent and black men
have found it hard to get work
Some argue that it must be culture (by comparing to
Mexican-American families)
END