Download Communication Is More Than Talking

Communication Is More Than Talking
What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
—Strother Martin, Cool Hand Luke, 1967
Some of the most poignant lines in movie history arise from a failure to communicate.
When most of us hear the word communication, we think of someone talking. Communication actually involves
giving and receiving information. Radio, television, and the Internet are modes of communication. So are
books, letters, e-mails, magazines, billboards, and newspapers. These examples all give a message, and you act
as the receiver.
Communication between or among people is known as interpersonal communication.
Interpersonal Communication
Communication among people; the process of sharing thoughts and feelings. Communication involves
speaking, listening, observing, and understanding. It is the process of sharing thoughts and feelings, and it
involves speaking, listening, observing, and understanding.
Good communication is an important factor in mental and emotional health. A network of family and friends
you can turn to for help in times of crisis and for companionship and fun at other times is called your social
support.
A network of family, friends and acquaintances that can provide help in times of crisis, as well as fun and
entertainment at other times. In other words, social support is what friends and family do for and with one
another.
Research on social support shows that your health is greatly affected by your relationships. Having at least one
person in whom you can confide and share your hopes, dreams, and disappointments is crucial to health. And
good communication is essential to supportive. Acting in a way that is helpful or comforting to someone.
Maintaining a Mutually Healthy Social Support System
Developing and maintaining healthy social ties involves give-and-take. Sometimes, you're the one giving
support, and other times, you're on the receiving end. Letting family and friends know you love and appreciate
them will help ensure that their support remains strong when times are rough.
The Mayo Clinic, a famous medical service and research center, has put together a worthy list of things to keep
in mind about social support systems:
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Go easy. Don't overwhelm friends and family with phone calls or e-mails. Communication can be brief
— five minutes on the phone or several sentences in an e-mail. Find out how late or early you can call,
and respect those boundaries.
Be aware of how others perceive you. Ask a friend for an honest evaluation of how others see you.
Take note of any areas for improvement and work on them.
Don't compete with others. This will turn potential rivals into potential friends.
Adopt a healthy, realistic self-image. Both vanity and rampant self-criticism can be unattractive to
potential friends.
Resolve to improve yourself. Cultivating your own honesty, generosity, and humility will enhance your
self-esteem and make you a more compassionate and appealing friend.
Avoid relentless complaining. Nonstop complaining is tiresome and can be draining on support
systems. Talk to your family and friends about how you can change those parts of your life that you're
unhappy about.
Adopt a positive outlook. Try to find the humor in things.
Listen up. Make a point to remember what's going on in the lives of others. Then, relate any interests or
experiences you have in common. Sharing details about yourself and your life also can help establish
rapport.
Speaking With and Without Words
Communication can be broken into three components: speaking, listening, and observing. If these
components are working together, communication leads to understanding. First, look at the skills
involved in speaking.
"I" Messages
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One way to be clear and direct is to use "I" messages. Statements that begin with "I" and tell one's needs
and feelings. They do not blame or judge another person's behavior., which state your needs and
feelings. They do not focus on the traits and behaviors of someone else, nor do they blame or judge
someone's behavior. They simply state how you feel about a behavior and what you want done about it.
Using "I" messages allows you to take responsibility for your feelings.
The three parts of an "I" message are "I feel _______ when you _______ because _______," followed
by a clear request.
Feedback
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Another important part of communication is feedback. A type of communication that provides helpful
information about the speaker to the speaker.. Feedback can be as simple as offering a compliment
("Great idea!") or nodding at the speaker to acknowledge understanding. It can also be as complex as
providing useful critique or insight about the speaker.
The purpose of feedback is to provide something constructive to the other person, not to put him or her
down. A tip for giving feedback that offers helpful criticism is to first tell the speaker what you liked and
then offer a suggestion for improvement.
Refusal Skills
Saying no is one of many refusal skills.
Skills that are used when a person wants to say no to an action or leave a situation., and it is a very important
part of communication. We care what others think, and sometimes, we're afraid that saying no will endanger a
relationship.
It is important to be able to say no to an invitation or request without feeling guilty. If you know the person
well, you can be direct. Say, "Sorry, I don't feel like doing that. Ask me again some other time, O.K.?" If you
don't know the person well, you might say, "I'm sorry, I have other plans. But thanks for asking."
If you are being pressured to do something you don't want to do or something you know is risky, you can:
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pretend not to hear or change the subject.
suggest an alternative activity.
find an excuse to leave.
If those options don't work, you'll have to be more direct. There are four elements to a good refusal:
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Use the word "no" when refusing.
Use body language that supports your "no."
Use a firm tone of voice to say "no."
Repeat your "no" message as often as necessary.
Paralanguage
Speaking includes verbal and vocal elements. In speech, the words one chooses to convey messages to others is
important as well as the sound of one's words.
Tone of voice is one part of a vocal element called paralanguage.
The vocal aspect of communication, including pitch, inflection, tone, and pace.. Vocal elements involve the
sound that is used for desired or undesired effects.
For example, think about the various ways one can say "hello." The vocal aspect, or paralinguistic element, is
the sound of the word when it is said — how loud it is, the pitch (high or low), the inflection of the voice (is it
cheerful, brief, or questioning?), the pace (fast, slow), and so on.
In speaking, both language (verbal aspects or words) and paralanguage (vocal aspects or sounds) play
significant roles in conveying our meaning.
Nonverbal Communication
When you speak, you also communicate without words. This is called nonverbal communication.
Actions, body language, and facial expressions used to express feelings or thoughts without using words. It's
communication using anything but words. In nonverbal communication, body language and facial expressions
accompany your verbal and vocal communication. If you want to communicate effectively, your verbal, vocal,
and nonverbal message should be the same.
For example, if you say to your friend, "Sure, I'd love to go to the party with you," your head might be nodding
up and down, and your facial expression would be smiling. All of the messages you are sending are positive and
reinforce one another.
If, however, you say, "Sure, I'd love to go to the party with you," but you are shaking your head slightly and
your facial expression looks impatient, you are sending a mixed message. Your friend won't know whether you
really want to go to the party.
Listening and Observing
Listen up!
The other half of speaking is listening, and believe it or not, it takes some work to be a good listener. Listening
is not just waiting for your turn to talk. It is letting the speaker know you understand and are involved in what
he or she is saying to you.
You use nonverbal communication when you listen as well as when you speak. When you are listening to
someone, do you look away, get distracted, or think about something else? If so, you are communicating
boredom or a lack of respect for the speaker. But if you look directly at the speaker, pay attention to his or her
facial expression, focus on the words, and nod your head in agreement or sympathy, you are using active
listening skills.
A set of behaviors that focuses the attention on the speaker and lets the speaker know that you are listening and
understanding what he or she is saying..
Here are some traits of a good listener:
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Face the speaker and make eye contact (when the communication is in-person).
Pay attention not just to what the person is saying but also to the person's body language and tone of voice as
well.
Use verbal and nonverbal communication to show you are listening.
Ask questions and restate the speaker's message to check for understanding.
Show appreciation for what the speaker is saying.
Try to understand how the speaker is feeling and reflect those feelings back to the speaker.
Do not allow your personal biases to affect what you are hearing.
Offer suggestions rather than advice.