Download Both of my parents loved to laugh and tell jokes

Press Release
For Immediate Release
Scott Hansen
Friday • April 19 • 2013
Majestic Oaks Golf Club
Dinner 7:00PM • Show 8:00PM
701 Bunker Lake Blvd, NE • Ham Lake
Gen Adm $16.95 Advance • $21.95 Door
Dinner/Show $34.95 Advance • $39.95 Door
CALL: (763) 755-2140
www.brownpaperticket.com
More info available at www.scotthansen.com
Contact: Scott Hansen • Scott Hansen Creative Inc. 763-607-HAHA • Scott@scotthansen,com
AWARD WINNING COMEDIAN WITH CREDITS ON HBO,SHOWTIME AND COMEDY
CENTRAL COMING TO WINONA
Majestic Oals Golf Club proudly presents Scott Hansen, the 5 time winner of the Minnesota
Comedian of the Year Award.
Scott Hansen began a one year retirement tour on December 31, 2012. This year will be his
final year of public performance of standup comedy/ The tour started with sold-out shows at the
Maple Tavern in Maple Grove and has been winding thru Minnesota with selective dates and
locations. As seen nationally on HBO, Showtime and Comedy Central, Scott Hansen will bring
his unique "hit and run" style of comedy to Canterbury Park in Shakopee.
Scott has achieved fame and notoriety for his sharp audience interaction and patented “hit and
run” style of comedy. His comedic depiction of the "Minnesota situation" provides unique fodder
and perspective that has made over a million of his fellow Minnesotans laugh. He has become
the voice of local comedy, the conscience of Minnesota and an icon that fills clubs and concerts
statewide.
“Minnesotans are obsessed with the weather and the news. The news stations try to get us
involved by asking our opinion. With Minnesotans it’s hard to do. I was watching KARE 11 one
afternoon and they gave the results of a poll where people were suppose to call in to the station
with their opinion on a news item. The results were 46% were in favor, 44% were against and
10% had no opinion. Only in Minnesota would people take the time to pick up the phone and
dial to tell you that they had no opinion.”
“Minnesota is becoming so culturally diverse. It’s developing in the suburbs where I live. I told
my neighbor that I was going to an East Indian restaurant and he thought that I was going to the
buffet at a casino in Wisconsin.”
“When I had dinner there I didn't clean my plate. Then I remembered what my mom said when I
was a kid about starving kids in India. So, being a nice Minnesotan I gave the leftovers to the
waiter and said,” Glad I can help. Now we are even!"
Nationally Scott has earned the praise of some of America's biggest comedy stars.
"I think Scott Hansen is very funny! And, he is funny all of the time!" • Jay Leno
"Scott Hansen is so funny you might actually pee your pants! Go see him!" • Louie
Anderson
Scott is planning on limited performances throughout the year in Minnesota. He plans on revisiting many of the cities and towns that have provided great shows and fond memories. After
the tour, Scott will continue performing only at corporate and charity events.
SCOTT HANSEN BIOGRAPHY
"Both of my parents loved to laugh and tell jokes. Laughter is in
my genes. Comedy is in my blood. After an extensive search of
my ancestors...I probably should have a blood transfusion!" •
Scott Hansen
“When did you realize you were funny?”
That is the first question that most comedians get from inquisitive fans and media.
For Scott Hansen it was at he age of ten. While in the sixth grade Hansen won
third prize in a national jingle contest sponsored by the acne medicine Noxzema.
Scott entered hoping to win the first prize. He wanted to win a 1918 Stutz
Bearcat. He was happy with his third place prize, a megaphone and the
congratulatory letter that said that he was “Very funny.”
Scott Hansen was born to be a comedian. Comedy, is in his blood.
If you believe the story that his mother told about the night Scott was born then you must believe
that he was born with a silver microphone in his mouth.
Doris Hansen told Scott that on the night he was born that she was sitting comfortably on a sofa
watching the television. A slapstick comedian named the “Banana Man”came on the show.
The “Banana Man” had dozens of spring-loaded props (including giant bunches of bananas) that
kept jumping out of boxes, his tattered pockets, and just about every object on the stage.With
each appearance of fruit the clown-faced vaudevillian was exponentially shocked and surprised.
When a giant watermelon or pumpkin would spring from a
matchbox sized object he was stunned and then stared directly
into the camera and blurted out a giant, vibrato “WOOOW!”
As Doris purports the comedian made her laugh so hard that she
thought that she had wet her pant. She was surprised to find out
that her water had broken and the birth of her son had begun.
Scott Hansen. Enter laughing.
Whip this up, Martha Stewart!
The ingredients that went into the recipe called Scott Hansen.
“Both of my parents were raised during the Great Depression. From what they told me it was
named wrong. None of their memories of the era are that great.” mother
The ingredients that went into the recipe called Scott Hansen start with his mother. Doris
Hansen was raised in the welfare projects of Milwaukee. Her father’s name was Philip Ciecielski.
The Ciecielski family (changed to Ceel) was made up of an alcoholic,
abusive, Polish father, five children and an absolute saint of a mother.
Scott’s Grandma, Catherine Ceel, made Mother Teresa look like
Britney Spears.
When Doris was asked about her heritage she said, “ We’re from the
Heinz family. We're 57 varieties.” All we really know is that she was
50% Polish. The rest is...Heinz.
Scott’s grandmother Catherine Clemens was a direct descendant of
Mark Twain. That may be the only actual funny blood in his heritage.
Doris, his mother was always proud of this branch on the family tree. When Scott told Doris of
his intention to be a comic, Doris was very supportive. She also was certain that this was an
opportunity to express her long depressed creativity.
When Scott stated interest in becoming a comedian, Doris began submitting comedy material to
him. When Scott would visit her he was greeted with copious pages of hand-written jokes on
legal pads. Scott read them all. All of it was funny, bright and witty. It was also tasteless and
filthy. Where did this pious Catholic mother hide these ideas for so long? The frogs of Calaveras
County would turn red.
Scott’s father, Don, was as constant as Old Faithful in
providing practical jokes and stunts at family gatherings.
Where his humor came from is a mystery to the family. Don's
parents were stoic and serious German and Danish stock
that never seemed to enjoy anything. His father often shared
the stories of the poverty and hard work that was part of his
rural upbringing. Maybe fighting the Nazi's brought out his
sense of humor.
Most Hansen family meals were started with a round of “Polak” jokes instead of Grace. It was
expected of Don to either discharge a firearm on the front porch or display a farm animal in the
living room at a family party.
As a result, at Scott’s first day in Catholic school, he was sent home for singing obscene songs.
When Sister Kristella asked the students to sing their favorite song, Scott boldly broke into his
own interpretation of “Roll Me Over In The Clover”. The song was the signature overture of the
‘50’s, X-rated comedienne Rusty Warren. Don played the LP almost nightly on a Sears Hi-FI
unaware of his son’s attention.
Sister Kristella escorted Scott out of the door before he got to “number four”.
Scott was never asked to sing in class again.
Maybe that’s the reason the family had to move so often.
This is called the back-story.
During his childhood, Scott’s family moved several times. The
moves came at pivotal ages and with drastic social changes.
The first move came after first grade. Scott was a year younger
than all the other students (he skipped kindergarten by taking
night classes in coloring) In second grade, he would have to
make new friends again.
The move was also a culture change. The family moved from
suburban Milwaukee to an abandoned farm in the country. It
was almost like “Green Acres”. Scott’s father (Don) maintained
his job as an executive in Milwaukee and left the entire farm to
Scott and his mother (Doris).
As far as new friends, Scott was a virtual outcast. To the rural
kids, Scott was a soft, overweight city kid. He had to prove himself to the farm kids. When Scott
got good grades he was teachers pet. If he was called on with the right answer he was called a
“brown nose”. Scott was a target. He defended himself the only way he could. He used his
sense of humor. He found out that by making the joke on him first, it took the power away from
others. It also gave him an excellent opening for his acerbic, grade school barbs.
So why is Scott on stage?
Scott may never admit this, but he may have had a deep seeded notion that this was his chance.
Maybe after years of defending himself from the jabs of others with his sense of humor, just
maybe, it was his turn to make people laugh.... on HIS terms.
Between the 7th and 9th grades the family moved three more times. The last move put Scott in
the suburban Twin Cities and returning to a Catholic school (Grace (now Totino Grace) in
Fridley. This time the adjustment was from a farm boy to a city kid. The moves and adjustments
were loading the comedy revolver.
In high school Scott was a solitary kid. Luckily teachers let him vent his creative humor through
satirical term papers and cracking wise with an informed edge in many classes. Scott had
always been able to retort humorously to many of his life situations. But now, with a green light
from some very hip superiors, Scott was revving his engine.
When one of Scott’s fellow students protested that the teacher would always let Scott “smart off”,
the social studies teacher responded by saying, “the key is I let Scott smart, off. Then added,
“ It’s one thing for a student to make a stupid, funny comment. It’s another thing to make a
stupid, funny comment that is accurate.”
The same teacher asked Scott to write an editorial for the school paper. It quickly became his
early forum for written comedy. Scott was not a class clown but became the class wit. His
column became a copious source of ‘70’s ideals: Love, peace, prom dates and botulism.
Comedy came easily to him and it seemed to ease the pressures of teenage problems.
At 16, Scott was accepted to the University of Minnesota. He entered the school as a
journalism major. Scott also got involved in the theater program at the U of M. A gaggle of acting
classes, plays and writing classes became entwined with his acceptance at Dudley Riggs Brave
New Workshop.
This stirred the comedy duck soup as Scott got his first taste of a live comedy audience. Scott
changed his major to Theater (it was Accounting for three weeks) and he took every acting class
he could sign up for.
School never provided what Scott really wanted. He soon dropped out to seek an outlet.
There were still no dreams of fame or Hollywood. Scott just had a desire to make people laugh ...
at his own ideas.
In the beginning.
On a date that was never marked on any calendar, Scott
Hansen nervously stepped onto the stage of a shabby, wholein-the-wall bar in Minneapolis named Mickey Finns. It was his
first time on a comedy stage. His fears outnumbered his
expectations. Scott had cast aside his “serious” actor training in
the dramatic classics and children’s theatre. He was now
standing alone on a makeshift stage of carpeted plywood
supported by steel milk crates and empty beer cases. The “club”
was thrown together in the back room of a blue-collar bar in
“Nordeast” Minneapolis. A stand-up comedy christening deserves no better of a venue.
A comedy virgin, Scott’s main concern was to remember his often rehearsed and rewritten 15minute comedy routine. Success, on this first attempt, was to simply finish. Evacuate then
evaluate. Hit and run. Do a little damage...then get off stage. The light procured from a hardware
store barely set the comic apart from the clanking, chattering crowd of a few dozen. The bodies
were so close. Their faces ranged from anticipation to apathy. The passing of a waitress
challenged their attention span like a shiny lure to a game fish.
The goals of this mission were very simple:
1. Get on stage.
2. Remember the jokes.
3. Get laughs.
4. Run.
Just get on stage!
Scott had failed his high school and college speech classes because of a horrible fear of public
speaking. Acting seemed easier. The lines could be memorized. They were someone else’s
words and thoughts. That enabled him to hide behind the character he was playing. In a speech,
or in his comedy, there seemed vulnerability as open as a black hole. In order to ease his
apprehension, Scott micro scribed his jokes on tiny note cards the he tucked into the pockets of
his shirt and pants. They were disguised as a prop, a raffle ticket.
“Any Catholics out there? Want to buy some raffle tickets?”
Scott got on that makeshift stage at Mickey Finns. He remembered the jokes. He got a few
laughs. He ran off of the stage. And, he got hooked.
Dad, I just quit my day job!
So, when the stand-up comedy industry was an embryo in America, Scott jumped at the
opportunity to write, produce, direct, present and develop the ideas that had been making his
friends (and enemies) laugh since he was a toddler.
As much as he despised the scrutinizing public eye, Scott knew of no other forum that could
allow him to be totally free and enabling to his comic creativity. Scott had to give it a try.
Now, after winning five Minnesota Comedian of the Year Awards and writing and producing for
nearly every comedy network and comedian in the country, things still haven’t changed.
For Scott, it isn’t the pie in the sky; it’s the pie in the face.
It’s the laughs. It’s all about the laughs.