Download The Unbelief of Lust

The Unbelief of Lust
Q & A stemming from the sermon
presented on April 14, 2013
Personal note: Thanks for all the thoughtful questions. Believers need to be able to work through these
issues, and help one another. Away with the days of leaving things unsaid because it might be
uncomfortable or considered inappropriate. Certainly, we must be careful and avoid being in any way
provocative. However, a careful but direct sharing on this is healthy, I believe.
I share all of these responses with great fear and trembling, praying that I am handling and communicating
the Word of God properly. These represent my biblical convictions based upon years of study. I reserve the
right to “have my eyes opened” by the Spirit to new understandings as He will. –Pastor Josh
Q1: What is the difference between a sin and an abomination?
The primary word for sin in the Hebrew means "to miss the mark." The word abomination means "a disgusting thing" or
"detestable," "repulsive thing." So, sin seems to describe the nature of disobedience, while abomination seems to be the
way God feels about sin. The majority of the uses of abomination on the Old Testament are primarily regarding sexual
sin and idol worship. But it is also used in regard to dishonesty, violence, and general wickedness. But general
wickedness is probably more a reference once again to idolatry, as to worship anyone or anything other than the Most
High is by definition wicked.
Q2: Does the Bible and Southern Baptists believe that to lust after someone or something is
as bad as doing it? Is lusting, or a deep rooted want a sin?
Yes, I would say that Jesus teaches (Matthew 5:27-30) that intention is at least as important as action. So, to admire a
pretty woman or handsome man isn't necessarily sin, but to fantasize is sin, as best I understand it.
Q3: Is watching porn always bad?
Yes, I do believe that porn in all its forms, is sin. Anything that would entice us to fantasize and/or act upon sexual
impulses with anyone other than our husband or wife is lust, and therefore sin.
With that in mind, porn can take on a pretty wide spectrum of material. It can include magazines, videos, all
pornographic internet sites, strip clubs and the like. I think it can also include what we would not normally consider
under the label “porn,” such as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues, provocative TV shows and movies, romance novels
that include detailed descriptions of sexual encounters, etc. . . .
Some of you might say at this point, “I have another one you haven’t mentioned . . .” If you do, that is just nasty! Put
THAT on the list, too.
Again, anything that would cause us to fantasize about someone other than our spouse, or put in front of us the sexual
form of someone other than our spouses, is sin (see also the response to Q8, paragraph 3). Think of it this way . . . we
have no business viewing in a sexual way the body or sensuality of someone else’s spouse (or potential spouse). We
have no business viewing in a sexual way the body or sensuality of someone who is not our spouse.
Q4: If your spouse is not in the mood, is it cool to masturbate?
This can be a little bit tough to approach. No other person is physically involved, so we are not violating the marriage
vow in this way. However, the marriage partner is also not involved, and so this makes it questionable I think.
I believe this: anything that does not violate a biblical command or a biblical principle, we are free to do. It does not
seem to violate a direct biblical command. Does this violate a biblical principle?
Once again, I think the big issue here is fantasizing. Can one masturbate without fantasizing about someone other than
their spouse? I suppose it is theoretically possible. Is there any fantasizing that may be permissible? Perhaps, fantasizing
about your spouse? Honestly, I think this is okay. (At least that is where I stand right now.) To be clear, if our mind is free
of any thought other than our spouse, I think this practice is permissible.
One last consideration … I do think that if masturbationin anyway competes with the healthy sex life of marriage
partners, it is something that should stop. Again, it is a sexual act that doesn’t involve anyone other than your spouse,
but it also does not include your spouse. Scripture warns us that we should not deprive our partner, except in cases of
mutual consent for focused prayer. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Q5: If you take away lust, porn, and other evil thoughts, is masturbation a sin?
Please see the response to Q4.
Q6: If you have been with someone for say 2 years why would it be sinful to have sex?
The reason this is sinful is because it is outside of the lifelong covenant bond of marriage. This bonding is saying that,
“We are now two becoming one, and we are together until death parts us.” That is a SERIOUS commitment. Outside of
putting our trust in Christ, it is the MOST SERIOUS commitment we can make.
This tells us how important sexuality is to God and how powerful it is. It is pivotal that we use it properly. This is the only
context in which sex is intended to work. Outside of this context, not only does it displease God and bring distance
between you and Him, it will bring dysfunction to your life.
If you have sex with someone you have been with for 2 years, no matter how important they are to you, you have yet to
make a lifelong commitment to them. You can simply walk away at any moment. If you love someone that much, and
want to be with them, I challenge all persons to have enough self-control to wait until you are married.
Think about this … What happens if you have sex, then the relationship doesn’t work out? Now you have given away to
someone else the gift that was intended for your true future spouse. You no longer have your virginity to give again.
Q7: Are there any biblical references to birth control (of any form) and/or how God views
that as an okay thing or not?
There are no direct references of which I am aware. I have read the Bible through multiple times, and I do not find a
direct instruction on this issue. So, as always, we must apply biblical principle with the Spirit’s help.
For full disclosure, there is one reference to a primitive form of birth control in Genesis 38. In ancient times, if a man
died without a male heir, it was the job of the next of kin to take his wife as his own and produce a male heir to carry on
the dead man’s name. Such was the case with a man named Onan. He was to take his deceased brother’s wife and help
her produce a boy to carry on his brother’s name. However, Onan did not want to do this, so when he would have sex
with his new wife, we would purposely spill his semen out on the ground so he would not impregnate her. The Lord
killed him because he was displeased with this. However, as you read this passage in detail, you will find that the issue
God was angry about was Onan’s unwillingness to produce an heir, not necessarily the practice of birth control.
At this point in my life, my conviction is that any form of birth control before conception is not sinful. I do believe
anything that might be labeled “birth control” after conception equates to murder. This, of course, would include all
forms of abortion no matter how late or early in the pregnancy, and the infamous “morning after pill.”
A baby does, in fact, start out as a clump of cells, but within about 3 weeks has a heartbeat. No one can possibly confirm
they are pregnant until they miss their first menstrual cycle. Therefore, in almost all cases, the heartbeat is present
before one can even know for sure they are pregnant.
Your liver is a clump of cells in your body, but does not and will never have a heartbeat of its own. Your kidneys are a
clump of cells, but will never grow into a baby. Your lungs, brain, colon and ears are all clumps of cells, but will never
develop into another person. It is not a choice, it is a child.
Then, listen to what God tells Jeremiah:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV)
According to this, we can make the argument that life begins BEFORE conception. If so, this is an argument for NO birth
control, I think.
However, I think God is telling Jeremiah that He knows all future events, and knew Jeremiah even before he was
conceived. This is more about God’s foreknowledge than it is about birth control.
However, I am somewhat torn on the issue, I must confess.
Q8: Is sex with your spouse okay if it involves the view of porn?
I do not see any hypothetical situation in which porn can be brought into a marriage bed and honor God.
Marriage is one man and one woman bound together in a lifelong covenant. This is the proper context for sex. In this
context, not only is it permissible, sex is healthy, good and expected.
The naked body is the glory of a human being – beautiful – a gift to be given to your spouse. To uncover and view the
glory of someone other than your spouse is sin. Whether or not other parties are physically present, this is an
uncovering of another’s glory that is lustful and sinful.
I have heard some say that porn gets them in the mood. If your sex life is healthy, your partner is all you need to “get in
the mood.” God did not intend to give you a menu of physical options via porn. God did not give you a “type,” he gave
you a spouse.
So, enjoy your spouse as they are. If your spouse is tall, you are into tall. Your spouse is short, you are into short. If your
spouse has red hair, you love red hair. If your spouse is skinny, you dig skinny. If your spouse is . . . ahem . . . formerly
skinny, then you love formerly skinny.
Q9: Oral. Is it okay if you are married?
In 1 Corinthians 6, among other things Paul is addressing some concerns about sexual issues with the church at Corinth.
He lays down some principles that I think are very helpful for married couples to consider regarding sexual activities. In
other words, if we are married, and we have questions on what is okay and what isn’t in the marriage bed, it would be
beneficial to consider these questions:
1. Is it lawful? In other words, is it permissible biblically? Is it permissible legally?
2. Is it helpful? Is the thing we are considering doing something that we both will enjoy, that will bring us closer
together? If it is something that will make one or both of the partners feel used, uncomfortable, or fearful, then it is not
helpful, and should not be done.
3. Is it enslaving? In other words, is this something that is becoming an obsession for one or both partners? Is it
something that becomes more important than your partner? Is it becoming idolatry in that it has become such a fixation
it is hurting your walk with Christ? If so, let it go and leave it alone.
In light of this, different couples may come to different conclusions for their respective marriages. Something like oral
sex may be fine for one couple, while for another it may not work, because it in some way violates their own conscience.
In regard to oral sex (or any number of potential sexual issues), apply these questions …
1. Is it lawful? It think both in terms of God’s Word and the government, it is permissible.
2. Is it helpful?
3. Is it enslaving?
If, after asking all three questions, both partners still feel good about it, then I say ENJOY!
Q10: Is anal sex okay?
Outside of the marriage bond, all sensual genital contact is sin, as best I understand the Word.
In the bond of marriage, I see no direct prohibiting of anal sex in Scripture. However, the Bible speaks, for example of
the unnatural nature of homosexuality. We can easily see how the male and female bodies are made to fit together. This
is not true in a homosexual situation.
Now apply this to anal sex with a man and a woman. It is taking a part of the body that is in no way meant for sexual
activity and using it in an unnatural way. It also pushes that part of the body beyond its reasonable capacity. For this
reason, I would tend to advise against it. However, I am still wrestling with this.
Also, in regard to anal sex, the explanation that I gave for married couples in Q9 can be helpful. If you are considering
this sort of activity, at least apply the questions I have listed in Q9, especially for the lady. Will this cause her to feel
violated and/or physically hurt her? If the answer is yes, then I would say cross it off the list.
Someone sent me this, and I thought I would pass it along for your edification. I agree with
this statement …
I don’t really have a question but did want to mention this. In terms of homosexuality, I think it’s important to get the
point across not to shun these people or be gay bashers. I know this from experience. I didn’t really know how to handle
the gay community so instead I was mean to those people because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. It’s one
thing to stand firm by your belief but it’s another to use it as a way to be mean and bash a group of people. I only tell
you this because I never really knew the difference.