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Sept 20th 2015: Growing & Maturing in Love.
Our subject today is growing and maturing in love.
Colossians 2:6-7:
And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots
grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you
were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Hebrews 6: 1-3:
So come on, let’s leave the preschool finger-painting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of
art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on ‘salvation by selfhelp’ and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead;
eternal judgment. God helping us, we’ll stay true to all that. But there’s so much more. Let’s get on with it!
What does growing look like?
Cf tree – not much when small. Fragile. Later bears fruit, provides homes for other creatures, gives shelter and
shade – it is full of life and attracts a whole ecosystem around it. Growing in love spills over into others.
The same is true of people – we start small and fragile, unable to do much, our world is small with few people
involved. As we grow we develop, we are able to do more, we learn, our world grows as does our influence and
reach, we build community – our lives are intertwined with others and we bring blessing and benefit to people.
Love grows in the same manner.
What does maturing look like?
Maturing is not just about age, but also experience. A mature person is steadfast, secure, able to withstand the
storms. Not so easily knocked by things in life, can be relied upon, full of strength. Brings confidence to and
provides a safe place for others. These things are however aren’t just grown by time, maturing happens through
experience and encounters.
When wine, whiskey, meat, or cheese are matured a greater depth, strength, richness and complexity are added –
value is increased, appreciation grows.
A maturing love is the same.
Do we want a love like this? Do we want our relationship with God to be this way, growing and maturing?
It is not what we see around us often, not what society suggests we ought to go after – we become consumers only
concerned with what we get out of it, and only worried about the immediate, not what we are investing in and
what path we’re travelling down. Many of us buy into this lie that causes us to buy into the consumeristic world
system in areas of our lives.
Love is portrayed this way often in the world. We’re sold the lie that passion, sex, the first throes of love, the
honeymoon phase, the heightened emotions and feelings alone are the most important aspects of love, and when
this phase passes by and our feelings alter, or we are no longer getting what we want out of the relationship then
maybe it isn’t working and we should jump ship and go elsewhere. Even if we stick with the relationship we’re
encouraged to fulfil our needs and desires elsewhere if we want, at the expense of our relationships.
If we fall for this we will miss out on the depth and beauty of a love that has matured.
Many of you will know Terry Hudson. Terry is off on long term sick leave having had a heart attack in May.
“I am really struggling with simple things these days. I have great difficulty climbing stairs, I cannot walk any
distance even on a level ground, and I am unable to lift even a cup of tea without some serious pains in my
chest. I find that meeting people takes a great deal out of me, and I become very breathless in a crowd or
in any potentially stressful situation. The tough thing has been having to step aside from my role… …that
calling has been central to my life for so many years… …As things stand, I am so physically and emotionally
fragile that I fear what the future may hold. I miss people, I miss church, I miss preaching, but I need to
adapt my lifestyle for a while at least to allow me the time for healing. I am so grateful to Dawn for the
amazing support she has given to me over these past few months. She has been very unwell herself, and
we have discovered the importance of being married 'in sickness and in health' for sure. She has been
God's gift to me, far more than I deserve.”
Even if in our relationships with others – whether with husbands, wives, family or friends we don’t fall for this
mentality and do seek to build more fully in love, we often seem to fall for this when it comes to our relationship
with God. If we don’t get the warm fuzzy feeling it is easy to switch off and not invest in our relationship with God.
We are called to more.
Growing and maturing in our love relationship with God is important because…
Brings us security in our identity and allows us to live as we were created to
It brings us & God great joy - it fulfils our deepest desires & reveals something the world is longing for
Love is powerful and transforming – it gives strength in hard times, it blesses and benefits others. Love brings
security, it brings life and identity, love provides safety and banishes fear. There are many benefits to love not just
for us as individuals and as a church but for those around us. As we grow and mature in love and particularly in our
love relationship with God who is the source of love and love itself we increase this blessing and benefit for all.
How do we go about this?
It starts with allowing ourselves to be loved. Our relationship with God is centred on him – we love in response to
his love for us – 1 John 4. We need, however, to position ourselves correctly. His presence, His Spirit, His grace are
what is needed, not our self effort, or hard work.
Galatians 5: 16-26
Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.
For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is
incompatible with selfishness. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic
compulsions of a law-dominated existence? …What happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into
our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance
about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a
conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal
commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely….Since
this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as
an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.
Romans12: 1-2
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating,
going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does
for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into
it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily
recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always
dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed
maturity in you.
The key to our growing and maturing in God, and in our relationship with him is living in His grace and following His
Spirit – not hard work, not effort, not trying to love more, or be better at what we do, or live a more disciplined life.
We often say Jesus only did what he saw the Father do, and said what he heard him say, and that we ought to live
like this. The danger with this is we often place the emphasis on us doing or saying – it becomes more about us
than the Father. The root of Jesus relationship, which led to the lifestyle of doing and saying as the Father did,
came from his being Holy as the Father is Holy – not be Holy because I’m Holy and you have to try to be like me,
but be with me, I’m Holy, join me, journey with me, as you’re with me you to will be Holy like I am. The root is our
being with Him, led by Him, living in communion with Him.
Example of loving kids and helping them grow and mature…
If we allow ourselves to be loved by him our natural response will be one of love, being transformed – growing and
maturing into His likeness.
With my kids I could teach them to try harder to love me, to act kindly towards me, to say nice things – they could
try all they want, but any change is unlikely to be meaningful – it will be a show, a front, rather than the reality of
what they feel towards me, it will be a performance to try and show me what they want me to see, rather than
what is true.
The other approach is that I could simply love my kids – I could spend time with them, meet them on their level,
get involved with what they’re doing – engage with my daughter in her imaginary play with her dolls, have play
fights with my son. As I love my kids, and as they receive that love, their response is love – it is a desire to be with
me.
The response is genuine, not forced – that is what I truly desire, it is what brings out the best in my kids and
enables them to naturally be good and kind – they have a desire to please.
As I love my kids I draw out of them their potential – they desire to be with me, play with, be like me. My kids
often play mums and dads together because they see something modelled in my relationship with Mel – they want
to be like us. This is how kids learn and grow – walking, talking, eating, dressing.
We encourage and overlook failings and deal with them in grace…
I’m not a perfect Dad and don’t always respond in the best way to my kids – I get grumpy and tired, I can be
distracted and not engage with them when they want my attention. I don’t always bring out the best in them.
But God does. He always has time. He always wants to get involved in anything we’re doing. He always perfectly
loves us. He is kind and caring and attentive.
He is the one who draws the best out of us, we are made holy through His holiness.
So lets continue growing and maturing in love, positioning ourselves to receive his love, choosing to be aware of
His presence (He is everywhere after all), mindful of our true reality (as children of the Spirit), and led by the Spirit,
open to His will (which is the best plan for our lives) and responsive to His word (which brings blessing to us and
those around us).
It isn’t complicated, but does require something of us to live deliberately, intentionally, consciously – the more we
do, the more natural it becomes because we are transformed.
As a practical suggestion maybe we could commit to starting the beginning of each day by taking time to position
ourselves, to declare God’s goodness and His love for us, to worship Him and invite His will and His leading for our
lives. Asking for eyes to see, ears to hear and hands to respond.
As we come back to worship now – let’s allow ourselves to receive God’s love and commit ourselves to journeying
with Him, following His leading and growing and maturing in our love for Him.