Download Business Communication: Process and Product, 4e

Developing Team, Listening, and
Etiquette Skills
Assoc. Prof. Harun Kaya
Learning Objectives
• Recognize the importance of soft skills and teamwork in today's
workplace.
• Understand how to contribute positively to team performance,
including resolving workplace conflicts, avoiding groupthink, and
reaching group decisions.
• Plan and participate in productive meetings.
• Explain the usefulness of collaborative technologies such as voice
conferencing, videoconferencing, Web conferencing, instant
messaging, blogs, and wikis.
• Describe and implement active listening techniques.
• Understand the forms of nonverbal communication and how they can
be used to advance your career.
• Develop a competitive edge with professionalism and business
etiquette skills.
Recognizing the Importance of Soft Skills
in Today's Workplace
• Hard skills refer to the technical skills in your field.
• Soft skills include both oral and written communication skills; other
competencies such as listening proficiency, nonverbal behavior,
and etiquette expertise.
• Employers want team players who can work together efficiently
and productively. They want managers and employees who are
comfortable with diverse coworkers, who can listen actively to
customers and colleagues, who can make eye contact, who display
good workplace manners, and other interpersonal skills.
• These skills are immensely important not only to be hired but also
to be promoted.
Recognizing the Importance of Soft Skills
in Today's Workplace
• Hiring managers expect you to have technical expertise in your field.
A good résumé and interview may get you in the door.
•
However, your long-term success is greatly influenced by your
ability to communicate with your boss, coworkers, and customers
as well as your ability to work as an effective and contributing team
member.
• If you look at current online or newspaper want ads, chances are you
will find requirements such as the following:
– • Proven team skills to help deliver on-time, on-budget results
– • Strong verbal and written communication skills as well as
excellent presentation skills
– • Excellent interpersonal, organizational, and teamwork skills
Preparing to Work With Groups and Teams
• In response to intense global competition, businesses are being forced
to rethink and restructure their operations. As a result, today's
workplace is teeming (dolu, kaynamak, bol olmak) with teams.
• You might find yourself a part of a work team, project team,
customer support team, supplier team, design team, planning
team, functional team, or cross-functional team.
• You might be assigned to a committee, task force, steering group,
quality control circle, flat team, hierarchical team, advisory team,
action team, or some other group.
• All of these teams are being formed to accomplish specific goals.
Why Form Groups and Teams?
• They are forming teams for the following reasons:
• • Better decisions. Decisions are generally more accurate and
effective because group and team members contribute different
expertise and perspectives.
• • Faster response. To respond to competition or to solve a problem,
small groups and teams can act rapidly.
• • Increased productivity. Because they are often closer to the action
and to the customer, team members can see opportunities for
improving efficiencies.
• • Less resistance to change. People who have input into decisions
are less hostile, aggressive, and resistant to change.
• • Improved employee morale. Personal satisfaction and job morale
increase when teams are successful.
• • Reduced risks. Responsibility for a decision is diffused, thus
carrying less risk for any individual.
Criticisms of Teams
• Despite the current popularity of teams, however, they are not a
panacea for all workplace problems.
• Some critics complain that they are the latest in a succession of
management fads.
• Others charge that teams are a screen behind which management
intensifies its control over labor.
• Companies such as Ford, Levi-Strauss, Honda, and GM's Saturn plant
retreated from teams, finding that they slowed decision making,
shielded workers from responsibility, and created morale and
productivity problems.
• Yet, in most models of future organizations, teams, not individuals,
function as the primary performance unit.
Virtual Teams
• These are groups of people who work interdependently with a shared
purpose across space, time, and organization boundaries using
technology.
• Virtual teams may be local or global. At Best Buy's corporate
headquarters in Richfield, Minnesota, certain employees are allowed
to work anywhere and anytime—as long as they successfully
complete their assignments on time. They can decide how, when, and
where they work.
• Hyundai Motors exemplifies virtual teaming at the global level.
Members of its virtual teams coordinate their work and complete their
tasks across time and geographic zones.
• Work is viewed as what you do rather than a place you go.
• In some organizations, remote coworkers may be permanent
employees from the same office or may be specialists called together
for temporary projects.
Four Phases of Team Development
• Small groups and teams may be formed to complete single tasks or to
function as permanent ongoing bodies.
• Regardless of their purpose, successful teams normally go through
predictable phases as they develop.
• When groups are formed, they generally evolve through four phases,
as identified by psychologist B. A. Tuckman. These phases are
forming, storming, norming, and performing.
• Some groups get lucky and move quickly from forming to
performing.
• But most struggle through disruptive, although ultimately
constructive, team-building stages.
Roles Played by Team Members
• Task Roles
– Initiator
– Information seeker/giver
– Opinion seeker/giver
– Direction giver
– Summarizer
– Energizer
• Relationship Roles
– Participation encourager
– Harmonizer/tension reliever
– Evaluator of emotional climate
– Praise giver
– Empathic listener
What kinds of statements might be made by these role players?
Roles Played by Team Members
• Dysfunctional Roles
– Blocker
– Attacker
– Recognition-seeker
– Joker
– Withdrawer
• What kinds of statements might be made by these role players?
Analyzing Positive and Negative Team Behavior
Positive
• Setting rules and abiding by
them
• Analyzing tasks and defining
problems
• Contributing information and
ideas
• Showing interest by listening
actively
• Encouraging members to
participate
• Synthesizing points of
agreement
Negative
• Blocking the ideas and
suggestions of others
• Insulting and criticizing others
• Wasting the group's time
• Making inappropriate jokes and
comments
• Failing to stay on task
• Withdrawing, failing to
participate
Six-Step Procedure for Dealing With Conflict
• When managed properly, conflict can improve decision making,
clarify values, increase group cohesiveness, stimulate creativity,
decrease tensions, and undermine dissatisfaction.
• Unresolved conflict, however, can destroy productivity and
seriously reduce morale. Six-step procedure for dealing with conflict:
• 1. Listen. To be sure you understand the problem, listen carefully.
• 2. Understand the other's point of view. Show your understanding
by asking questions and paraphrasing.
• 3. Show a concern for the relationship. By focusing on the problem,
not the person, you can build, maintain, and even improve the
relationship.
• 4. Look for common ground. Learn what you have in common, and
look for a solution to which both of you can agree.
• 5. Invent new problem-solving options. Be open to new options.
• 6. Reach an agreement based on what's fair.
Avoiding Groupthink
• This is a term coined by theorist Irving Janis to describe faulty
decision-making processes by team members who are overly eager
to agree with one another without examining alternatives or
considering contingency plans . Conditions can lead to groupthink:
– team members with similar backgrounds,
– a lack of systematic procedures,
– a demand for a quick decision,
– and a strong leader who favors a specific decision.
• Symptoms of groupthink include pressures placed on any member
who argues against the group's mutual beliefs, self-censorship of
thoughts that stray from the group's agreement.
•
Teams suffering from groupthink fail to check alternatives, are
biased in collecting and evaluating information, and ignore the
Reaching Group Decisions
• Majority. Group members vote and a majority wins. results in a quick
decision but may leave an alienated minority uncommitted to
implementation.
• Consensus. Discussion continues until all team members have aired
their opinions and, ultimately, agree.
• Minority. Typically, a subcommittee investigates and makes a
recommendation for action. This method is useful when the full group
cannot get together to make a decision or when time is short.
• Averaging. Members haggle, bargain, wheedle, and negotiate to reach
a middle position, which often requires compromise.
• Authority rule with discussion. The leader, boss, or manager listens
to team members' ideas, but the final decision is his or hers. This
method leads discussion and results in participatory decision making.
Characteristics of Successful Teams
• The use of teams has been called the solution to many ills in the
current workplace. Someone even observed that as an acronym
TEAM means Together, Everyone Achieves More.
• Many teams, however, do not work well together. In fact, some teams
can actually increase frustration, lower productivity, and create
employee dissatisfaction. Characteristics of successful teams are:
– Small size, diverse makeup
– Agreement on purpose and procedures
– Ability to deal with conflict
– Use of good communication techniques
– Ability to collaborate rather than compete
– Acceptance of Ethical Responsibilities and Shared leadership
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings
• Meetings consist of three or more people who gather to pool
information, solicit feedback, clarify policy, seek consensus, and
solve problems.
• As businesses become more team oriented and management
becomes more participatory, people are attending more meetings
than ever.
• Yet, meetings are almost universally disliked. In spite of employee
reluctance, meetings are not going to go away.
• Our task, then, as business communicators is to learn how to make
them more efficient, satisfying, and productive.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Why are meetings so important to your career?
• They represent opportunities, they are a prime tool for developing
staff, they are career-critical.
• At meetings, judgments are formed and careers are made.
• Therefore, instead of treating them as thieves of your valuable time,
try to see them as golden opportunities to demonstrate your
leadership, communication, and problem-solving skills.
• So that you can make the most of these opportunities, here are
techniques for planning and conducting successful meetings.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Deciding Whether a Meeting Is Necessary
• No meeting should be called unless the topic is important, can't
wait, and requires an exchange of ideas.
• If the flow of information is strictly one way and no immediate
feedback will result, then don't schedule a meeting.
• To decide whether the purpose of the meeting is valid, it is a good
idea to consult the key people who will be attending.
• Ask them what outcomes are desired and how to achieve those
goals. This consultation also sets a collaborative tone and
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Selecting Participants
• If the meeting purpose is motivational, such as an awards ceremony
then the number of participants is unlimited.
– Information reviews and presentations 30 or fewer
– Problem identification 10 or fewer
• But to make decisions, the best number is five or fewer participants.
•
Ideally, those attending should be people who;
– will make the decision and
– have information necessary to make the decision.
– will be responsible for implementing the decision and
– representatives of groups who will benefit from the decision.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Distributing Advance Information
• At least two days in advance of a meeting, distribute an agenda of
topics to be discussed. Also include any reports or materials that
participants should read in advance.
• For continuing groups, you might also include a copy of the minutes
of the previous meeting. To keep meetings productive, limit the
number of agenda items.
• A good agenda, covers the following;
• • Date and place of meeting; • Start time and end time
• • Brief description of each topic, in order of priority, including the
names of individuals who are responsible for performing some action
• • Proposed allotment of time for each topic
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Getting the Meeting Started
• To avoid wasting time and irritating attendees, always start meetings
on time—even if some participants are missing and don't give a
quick recap to anyone who arrives late.
• At the appointed time, open the meeting with a three- to five-minute
introduction that includes the following:
– • Goal and length of the meeting
– • Background of topics or problems
– • Possible solutions and constraints
– • Tentative agenda
– • Ground rules to be followed
– A typical set of ground rules might include arriving on time,
communicating openly, being supportive, listening carefully,
participating fully, confronting conflict frankly, follow the agenda.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Moving the Meeting Along
• After the preliminaries, the leader should say as little as possible.
Like a talk show host, an effective leader makes "sure that each panel
member gets some air time while no one member steals the show.
•
Remember that the purpose of a meeting is to exchange views, not
to hear one person, even the leader, do all the talking.
•
If the group has one member who monopolizes, the leader might say,
«Thanks, Kurt, for that perspective, but please hold your next point
while we hear how Ann would respond to that.» This technique
also encourages quieter participants to speak up.
• When the group seems to have reached a consensus, summarize the
group's position and check to see whether everyone agrees.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Participating Actively and Productively
• To get the most out of the meetings you attend, try these techniques:
• Arrive early: You show respect and look well organized.
• Come prepared: Bring the agenda and any distributed materials.
• Bring a positive attitude: Use positive body language.
• Contribute respectfully: Wait your turn to speak.
• Wait for others to finish: Show respect and good manners.
• Keep your voice calm and pleasant, yet energetic.
• Give credit to others: Gain allies and enhance your credibility.
• Put the cell phone and laptop away. Focus your attention on the
meeting, not on answering e-mail or working on your computer.
• Help summarize: Assist the meeting leader by reviewing points you
have noted. Express your views IN the meeting. • Follow up.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Handling Conflict in Meetings
• As you learned earlier, conflict is natural and even desirable. But it
can cause awkwardness and uneasiness.
•
In meetings, conflict typically develops when people feel unheard
or misunderstood.
• If two people are in conflict, the best approach is to encourage each to
make a complete case while group members give their full attention.
• Let each one question the other. Then, the leader should
summarize what was said, and the group should offer comments.
The group may modify a recommendation or suggest alternatives.
Planning and Participating in Productive Meetings:
Ending and Following Up
• End the meeting at the agreed time. The leader should summarize
what has been decided, who is going to do what, and when.
• It may be necessary to ask people to volunteer to take responsibility
for completing action items agreed to in the meeting.
• No one should leave the meeting without a full understanding of what
was accomplished.
• The leader should conclude by asking the group to set a time for
the next meeting.
•
He or she should also assure the group that a report will follow and
thank participants for attending.
• If minutes were taken, they should be distributed within a couple of
days after the meeting.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration
• Collaboration tools make it possible for people to work together
when they can't be together.
• These tools are fast, convenient, and can save big bucks in travel
costs.
• E-mail is still a major communication channel for online
collaboration. Because e-mail is the first tool most people learn to use,
they are often reluctant to move away from e-mail to embrace more
effective collaboration tools.
•
Collaborators today have a number of efficient tools including voice
conferencing, videoconferencing, Web conferencing, instant
messaging, blogs, and wikis.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Voice
Conferencing
• Among the simplest collaboration tools is voice conferencing (also
called audio conferencing, teleconferencing, conference calling, or
phone conferencing).
• One or more people in a work area use an enhanced speakerphone to
confer with others by telephone.
•
Voice conferencing enables people at both ends to speak and be heard
simultaneously.
• Thanks to cell phones, people can even participate in a
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Video
Conferencing
• Participants can take part in "real life" meetings from the comfort of
their offices.
• Web conferencing is similar to videoconferencing but may work
with or without the transmission of pictures of the participants.
• Skype, a virtually free conferencing tool popular with students
and expatriates, is also used by businesspeople.
•
It allows conferencing with or without a camera. All that is needed is
a laptop, a headset with a microphone, and a Web camera.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Web
Conferencing
• If meeting participants need to see each other or share documents,
they may use videoconferencing.
• This tool combines video, audio, and communications networking
technologies for real-time interaction.
• Participants generally meet in special conference rooms equipped with
cameras and screens for transmitting images and documents.
• A new generation of videoconference systems, although pricey, is the
next best thing to being there. These high-end telepresence systems
cost $1 million." They are used by scientists, researchers, and top
executives for collaboration.
•
Organizations reduce travel expenses, travel time, and employee
fatigue.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Instant
Messaging (IM)
• In our fast-paced world, many business communicators rely on instant
messaging to deliver messages immediately and directly to the
receiver's desktop.
• Colleagues may use IM to see whether someone is available for
incoming calls or to have a quick online chat.
• Instant messaging is especially useful for back-and-forth online
conversations, such as a customer communicating with a tech support
person to solve a problem.
• Businesses use instant messaging to communicate with customers,
colleagues, and vendors down the hall or across the world.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Blogs
• Blogs are a type of interactive online journal that allows
collaborators to share information in one central location.
• A blog is a one-to many form of communication. That is, one person
speaks to an audience who can comment on, but not change, the
content.
•
Blogs are especially helpful for cross-departmental teams and
when new members must get up to speed quickly. A team leader's
blog can provide all project information at one central location,
usually on the company's intranet.
• The leader can update an entire team on progress, goals, and
deadlines. Blogs reduce time spent in unnecessary meetings by
allowing minor matters to be handled online.
Using Technology to Facilitate Collaboration: Wikis
• A wiki is a collaborative Web site that enables anyone with access to
add, change, or delete information.
• Content can be edited more easily than in a blog. A wiki is a manyto-many form of communication, whereas blogs are a one-tomany form of communication.
•
Blogs resemble a personal broadcasting system, whereas wikis blend
many voices to produce a forum.
• Like blogs, wiki documents can be digitally stored, categorized, and
searched.
• Because of their ease of use, wikis are a natural when many people
are working together and updating information.
Listening in the Workplace
• You may be thinking, everyone knows how to listen. Most of us
believe that listening is an automatic response to noise. We do it
without thinking. Perhaps that explains why so many of us are poor
listeners.
• Listening skills are important for career success, organization
effectiveness, and worker satisfaction.
• Numerous studies and experts report that good listeners make good
managers and that good listeners advance more rapidly in their
organizations.
• Most workers spend 30 to 45 percent of their communication time
listening, whereas executives spend 60 to 70 percent of their
communication time listening.
Listening in the workplace: Poor Listening Habits
• Although executives and workers devote the bulk of their
communication time to listening, research suggests that they are not
very good at it.
• Some estimates indicate that only half of the oral messages heard in a
day are completely understood. Experts say that we listen at only 25
percent efficiency.
• Few schools give as much emphasis to listening as they do to the
development of reading, speaking, and writing skills.
• Finally, we are inefficient listeners because we are able to process
speech much faster than others can speak. While most speakers talk
at about 125 to 250 words per minute, listeners can think at 1,000
to 3,000 words per minute.'" The resulting lag time fosters
daydreaming, which clearly reduces listening efficiency.
Types of Workplace Listening
• These include listening to superiors, listening to fellow colleagues
and team members, and listening to customers.
• If you are an entry-level employee, you will probably be most
concerned with listening to superiors.
• But you also must develop skills for listening to colleagues and team
members.
• As you advance in your career and enter the ranks of management,
you will need skills for listening to subordinates.
• Finally, the entire organization must listen to customers to compete in
today's service-oriented economy.
Types of Workplace Listening: Listening to
Superiors
• To focus totally on the speaker, be sure you are not distracted by
noisy surroundings or other tasks. Don't take phone calls, and don't
try to complete another job while listening with one ear.
• Show your interest by leaning forward and striving for good eye
contact.
• Above all, take notes. Don't rely on your memory. Details are easy
to forget. Taking selective notes also conveys to the speaker your
seriousness about hearing accurately and completely.
• Don't interrupt. When the speaker finishes, paraphrase the
instructions in your own words. Ask pertinent questions in a
nonthreatening manner. Avoid criticizing or arguing when you are
listening to a superior.
Types of Workplace Listening: Listening to Colleagues
and Teammates
• In these situations two kinds of listening are important.
•
Critical listening enables you to judge and evaluate what you are
hearing. You will be listening to decide whether the speaker's
message is fact, fiction, or opinion. You will also be listening to
decide whether an argument is based on logic or emotion.
• Critical listening requires an effort on your part. You must remain
objective, particularly when you disagree with what you are hearing.
Control your tendency to prejudge. Let the speaker have a chance
to complete the message before you evaluate it.
•
Discriminative listening is necessary when you must understand
and remember. It means you must identify main ideas, understand
a logical argument, and recognize the purpose of the message.
Types of Workplace Listening: Listening to Customers
• The simple truth is that consumers feel better about companies that
value their opinions.
• Listening is an acknowledgment of caring and is a potent retention
tool.
• Customers want to be cared about; by doing so, companies fulfill
a powerful human need.
• How can organizations improve their customer listening techniques?
• Because employees are the eyes and ears of the organization, smart
companies begin by hiring employees who genuinely care about
customers.
• Listening organizations also train their employees to listen actively
and to ask gentle, probing questions to ensure clear understanding.
Listening to Customers: Comparing Untrained and
Trained Listeners
• You tune out some of what the customer is saying because you know
what the answer is.
• You defer judgment. You listen for the customer's feelings and
assess the situation.
• You are quick to mentally criticize grammar, voice tone, and speaking
style. You focus on style.
• You pay most attention to content, not to appearances, form, or
other surface issues.
• You tend to listen mainly for facts and specific bits of information.
• You listen completely, trying to really understand every nuance.
This enthralls speakers.
Listening to Customers: Comparing Untrained and
Trained Listeners (Cont.)
• You listen primarily for the main idea and avoid replying to
everything, especially sidetracking issues.
• You divide your attention among two or more tasks because listening
is automatic.
• You do one thing at a time, realizing that listening is a full-time job.
• You tend to become distracted by emotional words and have difficulty
controlling your angry responses.
• You control your anger and refuse to fight fire with fire.
• You interrupt the customer.•
• You are silent for a few seconds after a customer finishes to be
sure the thought is completed.
• You give few, if any, verbal responses. You give affirming
12 Roadblocks to Communication
• According to Thomas Gordon, there are thousands of messages that
we can send which can be grouped into twelve categories, each of
which tends to slow or completely stop existing communication.
• 1. Ordering, commanding, directing.
• Example: "Stop whining and get back to work."
• 2. Warning, threatening.
• Example: "You had better get your act together if you expect to pass my class."
• 3. Moralizing, preaching, giving "shoulds" and "oughts".
• Example: "You should leave your personal problems out of the classroom."
• 4. Advising, offering solutions or suggestions.
• Example: "I think you need to get a daily planner so you can organize your time
better to get your homework finished."
• 5. Teaching, lecturing, giving logical arguments.
• Example: "You better remember you only have four days to complete that project."
12 Roadblocks to Communication
• These next responses tend to communicate inadequacies and faults:
• 6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming.
• Example: "You are such a lazy kid. You never do what you say you
will."
• 7. Name-calling, stereotyping, labeling.
• Example: "Act your age. You are not a kindergartner."
• 8. Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing.
• Example: "You are avoiding facing this assignment because you
missed the directions due to talking."
12 Roadblocks to Communication
• Other messages try to make the student feel better or deny there is a problem:
• 9. Praising, agreeing, giving positive evaluations.
• Example: "You are a smart kid. You can figure out a way to finish this assignment."
• 10. Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting.
• Example: "I know exactly how you are feeling. If you just begin, it won't seem so
bad."
• This response tends to try to solve the problem for the student:
• 11. Questioning, probing, interrogating, cross-examining.
• "Why did you wait so long to ask for assistance? What was so hard about this
worksheet?"
• These messages tend to divert the student or avoid the student altogether:
• 12. Withdrawing, distracting, being sarcastic, humoring, diverting.
• "Seems like you got up on the wrong side of the bed today."
Active Listening:
• As an alternative to the roadblocks discussed above, Thomas Gordon
uses the technique of active listening to promote communication.
• When we use our own words to repeat back what we think the
student has just communicated, we are clarifying their message.
This "feedback" is called active listening. For example:
• Student: I don't like this school as much as my old one. People are not
very nice."
• Para: You are unhappy at this school?
• Student: Yeah. I haven't made any good friends. No one includes me.
• Para: You feel left out here?
• Student: Yeah. I wish I knew more people.
Active Listening:
• The para-educator is verbalizing what he/she thinks the student is
saying. This lets the student affirm what the para said or explain their
meaning in a different way.
• Active listening is a powerful tool which helps the para-educator
communicate more productively with the student.
• Active listening helps the para-educator more fully understand what
the student is saying and also helps the student articulate their
concerns.
Improving Workplace Listening
• Workplace listening is more challenging because information is often
exchanged casually. It may be disorganized, unclear, and cluttered
with extraneous facts.
•
Moreover, your fellow workers are usually friends. Because they are
familiar with one another, they may not be as polite and respectful as
they are with strangers.
•
Friends tend to interrupt, jump to conclusions, and take each other for
granted.
• Listening in groups or listening to nonnative speakers further
complicates the listening process.
• In groups, more than one person talks at once, and topics change
rapidly. Group members are monitoring both verbal and nonverbal
Ten Keys to Building Powerful Listening Skills
• Stop talking: Let others explain their views. Learn to concentrate on
what the speaker is saying, not on what your next comment will be.
• Control your surroundings: Whenever possible, remove competing
sounds. Close windows or doors, turn off TVs, unplug your iPod, and
move away from loud people, noisy appliances, or engines.
• Establish a receptive mind-set: Expect to learn something by
listening.
• Keep an open mind: Hear what is really being said, not what you
want to hear.
• Listen for main points: Capitalize on lag time. Make use of the
quickness of your mind by reviewing the speaker’s points.
• Listen between the lines: Focus both on what is spoken as well as
what is unspoken. Listen for feelings as well as for facts.
Ten Keys to Building Powerful Listening Skills
(Cont.)
• Judge ideas, not appearances: Concentrate on the content of the
message, not on its delivery. Avoid being distracted by the speaker’s
looks, voice, or mannerisms.
• Hold your fire: Force yourself to listen to the speaker’s entire
argument or message before reacting.
• Take selective notes: Select only the most important points so that the
notetaking process does not interfere with your concentration on the
speaker’s total message.
• Provide feedback:Let the speaker know that you are listening. Nod
your head and maintain eye contact. Ask relevant questions at
appropriate times.
Communicating Through Nonverbal Messages
• People form 90 percent of their opinion about you in the first 90
seconds.
• Communication is 60 percent nonverbal and 40 percent verbal (but
opinions and statistics vary!). Of the verbal portion, only 10 percent is
accomplished by the words themselves! The other 30 percent is done
by how the words are spoken, inflection and tone of voice.
• Nonverbal communication is achieved by;
– eye contact,
– facial expression,
– Posture and body movements, ,
– gestures,
– position and distance relative to the listener
– space and time usage,
– appearance and the attire.
All of these nonverbal cues influence the way a message is interpreted, or decoded,
by the receiver.
Communicating Through Nonverbal Messages
• The science of kinesics, the technical name for body language, was
formalized by Dr. Ray Birdwhistell in the early 1950s.
• Nonverbal communication includes all unwritten and unspoken
messages, both intentional and unintentional.
• Some say, it is a fact that «nonverbal signals have five times more
impact than verbal signals».
• Many of the nonverbal messages that we send are used intentionally to
accompany spoken words.
• But people can also communicate nonverbally even when they don't
intend to.
• What's more, not all messages accompany words. When Jeff hangs
on to the rostrum and barely looks at the audience during his
presentation, he sends a nonverbal message of fear and lack of
confidence.
Functions of Nonverbal Communication
• Nonverbal communication helps to convey meaning in at least five
ways.
• To complement and illustrate. Nonverbal messages can amplify,
modify, or provide details for a verbal message. For example, in
describing the size of a cell phone, a speaker holds his fingers
apart 5 inches. In pumping up sales reps, the manager jams his fist
into the opposite hand to indicate the strong effort required.
• To reinforce and accentuate. Skilled speakers raise their voices to
convey important ideas, but they whisper to suggest secrecy. A
grimace forecasts painful news, whereas a big smile intensifies
good news. A neat, well-equipped office reinforces a message of
professionalism.
• To replace and substitute. Many gestures substitute for words:
nodding your head for "yes," giving a V for victory, making a thumbsup sign for approval, and shrugging your shoulders for "I don't know"
or "I don't care."
Functions of Nonverbal Communication
• To control and regulate. Nonverbal messages are important
regulators in conversation. Shifts in eye contact, slight head
movements, changes in posture, raising of eyebrows, nodding of the
head, and voice inflection—all of these cues tell speakers when to
continue, to repeat, to elaborate, to hurry up, or to finish.
• To contradict. To be sarcastic, a speaker might hold his nose while
stating that your new perfume is wonderful. During one presidential
debate, a candidate was seriously attacking his opponent's «fuzzy»
math. The other candidate smiled and winked at the audience. His
body language contradicted the attack being made by his opponent.
• In the workplace, individuals may send contradictory messages with
words or actions.
• Researchers have found that when verbal and nonverbal messages
contradict each other, listeners tend to believe and act on the
nonverbal message.
How the Eyes, Face, and Body Send Silent
Messages
EYE CONTACT
• The eyes have been called the windows to the soul.
• Even if they don’t reveal the soul, the eyes are often the best predictor
of a speaker’s true feelings.
• Most of us cannot look another person straight in the eyes and lie.
FACIAL EXPRESSION
• The expression on a person’s face can be almost as revealing of
emotion as the eyes.
• Experts estimate that the human face can display over 250,000
expressions.
• To hide their feelings, some people can control these expressions and
maintain “poker faces.”
• Most of us, however, display our emotions openly.
How the Eyes, Face, and Body Send Silent
Messages
POSTURE AND GESTURES
• A person’s posture can convey anything from high status and selfconfidence to shyness and submissiveness.
• Leaning toward a speaker suggests attraction and interest; pulling
away or shrinking back denotes fear, distrust, anxiety, or disgust.
• However, the meanings of some of these movements differ in other
cultures.
• Unless you know local customs, they can get you into trouble.
• In the United States and Canada, for example, forming the thumb and
forefinger in a circle means everything’s OK. But in Germany and
parts of South America, the OK sign is obscene.
• What does your own body language say about you? To take stock of
the kinds of messages being sent by your body, ask a classmate to
critique your use of eye contact, facial expression, and body
How Time, Space, and Territory Send
Silent Messages
TIME
• How we structure and use time tells observers about our personality
and attitudes.
• For example, when Maritza Perez, a banking executive, gives a visitor
a prolonged interview, she signals her respect for, interest in, and
approval of the visitor or the topic being discussed. By sharing her
valuable time, she sends a clear nonverbal message.
• Likewise, when David Ing twice arrives late for a meeting, it could
mean that the meeting has low priority to David, that he is a selfcentered person, or that he has little self-discipline.
• In the workplace you can send positive nonverbal messages by being
on time for meetings and appointments, staying on task during
meetings, and giving ample time to appropriate projects and
individuals.
How Time, Space, and Territory Send
Silent Messages
SPACE
• How we order the space around us tells something about ourselves
and our objectives.
• Whether the space is a bedroom, a dorm room, an office, or a
department, people reveal themselves in the design and grouping of
their furniture. The way office furniture is arranged sends cues on how
communication is to take place.
• Generally, the more formal the arrangement, the more formal and
closed the communication environment. An executive who seats
visitors in a row of chairs across from his desk sends a message of
aloofness and desire for separation.
• A team leader who arranges chairs informally in a circle rather than in
straight rows or a rectangular pattern conveys her desire for a more
open, egalitarian exchange of ideas.
How Time, Space, and Territory Send
Silent Messages
TERRITORY
• Each of us has a certain area that we feel is our own territory, whether
it’s a specific spot or just the space around us.
• Your father may have a favorite chair in which he is most
comfortable, a cook might not tolerate intruders in his or her kitchen,
and veteran employees may feel that certain work areas and tools
belong to them.
• We all maintain zones of privacy in which we feel comfortable.
• Four zones of social interaction as formulated by anthropologist
Edward T. Hall.
• Only intimate friends and family may stand closer than about 1 to
1x1⁄2 feet.
• If someone violates that territory, Americans feel uncomfortable and
defensive and may step back to reestablish their space.
How Appearance Sends Silent Messages
APPEARANCE OF BUSINESS DOCUMENTS
• The way a letter, memo, or report looks can have either a positive or a
negative effect on the receiver.
• Sloppy e-mail messages send a nonverbal message that says you are
in a terrific hurry or that the receiver is not important enough for you
to care.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE
• The way you look—your clothing, grooming, and posture—telegraphs
an instant nonverbal message about you.
• Based on what they see, viewers make quick judgments about your
status, credibility, personality, and potential.
• If you want to be considered professional, think about how you
present yourself.
• Pay attention to a neat hairstyle, body cleanliness, polished shoes, and
clean nails. Project confidence in your posture, both standing and
Tips for Improving Your Nonverbal Skills
• Establish and maintain eye contact. Remember that in the United
States and Canada, appropriate eye contact signals interest,
attentiveness, strength, and credibility.
• Use posture to show interest. Encourage communication interaction
by leaning forward, sitting or standing erect, and looking alert.
• Improve your decoding skills. Watch facial expressions and body
language to understand the complete verbal and nonverbal messages
being communicated.
• Probe for more information. When you perceive nonverbal cues that
contradict verbal meanings, politely seek additional cues (I’m not sure
I understand, Please tell me more about . . . , or Do you mean that . . ).
• Avoid assigning nonverbal meanings out of context. Don’t interpret
nonverbal behavior unless you understand a situation or a culture.
Tips for Improving Your Nonverbal Skills
• Associate with people from diverse cultures. Learn about other
cultures to widen your knowledge and tolerance of intercultural
nonverbal messages.
• Appreciate the power of appearance. Keep in mind that the
appearance of your business documents, your business space, and
yourself sends immediate positive or negative messages to receivers.
• Observe yourself on videotape. Ensure that your verbal and
nonverbal messages are in sync by taping and evaluating yourself
making a presentation.
• Enlist friends and family. Ask them to monitor your conscious and
unconscious body movements and gestures to help you become a
more effective communicator.
The Six Secrets of Attractive Body Language
• Face: Have an animated face and make smiling a part of your
• regular repertoire. Make sure you flash your teeth.
• Gestures: Be expressive but don't overdo it. Keep your fingers closed
when you gesture, your hands below chin level and avoid arm or feet
crossing.
• Head Movement: Use Triple Nods when talking and Head Tilt when
listening. Keep your chin up.
• Eye Contact: Give the amount of eye contact that makes everyone
feel comfortable. Unless looking at others is a cultural no-no, lookers
gain more credibility than non-lookers.
• Posture: Lean forward when listening, stand straight when speaking.
• Territory: Stand as close as you feel comfortable. If the other person
moves back, don't step forward again.
• Mirror: Subtly mirror the body language of others.
Gaining an Etiquette Edge
• Good manners convey a positive image of an organization. People
like to do business with those who show respect and treat others
civilly.
• Most of us also like to work in a pleasant environment. Considering
how much time is spent at work, you realize that it makes sense that
people prefer an agreeable environment to one that is rude and uncivil.
• Etiquette is more about attitude than about formal rules of behavior.
That attitude is a desire to show others consideration and respect.
• It includes a desire to make others feel comfortable. You don't have
to become an etiquette nut, but you might need to polish your social
competencies a little to be an effective businessperson today.
• Here are a few simple pointers:
Gaining an Etiquette Edge
• Use polite words. Be generous with words and phrases such as
please, thank you, and you're welcome.
• Express sincere appreciation and praise. Tell coworkers how much
you appreciate their efforts. Remember that written thank-you notes
are even better than saying thanks.
• Be selective in sharing personal information. Avoid talking about
health concerns, personal relationships, or finances in the office.
• Don't put people down. If you have a reputation for criticizing
people, your coworkers will begin to wonder what you are saying
behind their backs.
• Respect coworkers' space. Turn down the ringer on your business
phone, minimize the use of speakerphones, and turn your personal cell
phone down or off during business hours. Avoid wearing heavy
perfumes or bringing strong smelling food.
Gaining an Etiquette Edge (Cont.)
• Rise above others' rudeness. Don't use profanity or participate in
questionable joke telling.
• Be considerate when sharing space and equipment with others.
Clean up after yourself.
• Choose the high road in conflict. Avoid letting discussions
degenerate into shouting matches. Keep a calm voice tone and focus
on the work rather than on personality differences.
• Disagree agreeably. You may not agree with everyone, but you
should respect their opinions.
• Look for Dr. Guffey's Guide to Business Etiquette and Workplace
Manners at www.meguffey.com. You will find the author's tips on
topics such as networking manners, coping with cubicles, managers'
manners, business gifts, dealing with angry customers, and genderfree etiquette..
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