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Pre face
Business English for Success is a creative solution to a com m on challenge across
Business Com m unication courses: Business English or Business Presentations? Som e
classes place an equal em phasis on oral and written com m unication, and if that is the
case for you please let m e direct you to our free online text Business Com m unication for
Success. If, however, your class places the em phasis squarely on written com m unication
and writing proficiency then this book is for you.
The Business English course and corresponding text often starts with a solid foundation
in written com m unication with several opportunities to both review the fundam entals as
well as to dem onstrate m astery and m ove on to m ore challenging assignm ents. Our
students are som etim es learning English as they enter a business program and benefit
from the attention to the basics. At the sam e tim e this course often articulates as a
course-equivalent for English or fulfills a writing requirem ent for a degree program .
This range provides the instructor with both challenges and opportunities that Business
English for Success can address.
We open the text with a discussion on the sen tence and then break it down into its
elem ental com ponents, before reconstructing them into effective sen tences with
paragraphs and larger assignm ents. This step-by-step approach, with m any exercises
and opportunities for reinforcem ent along the way, provide a clear path to studentcentered learning.
A n o te to th e in s tru cto r
Business English for Success provides instruction in steps, builds writing, reading, an d
critical thinking, and com bines com prehensive gram m ar review with an introduction to
paragraph writing an d com position.
Beginning with the sen tence and its essential elem ents, this book addresses each
concept with clear, concise, and effective exam ples that are im m ediately reinforced with
exercises and opportunities to dem onstrate learning. If you start your course with a
quick fam iliarization of reference m aterials, including a dictionary, thesaurus, and
gram m ar m anuals, I encourage you to go to the Onlin e Writing Lab at Purdue
University for the free tutorial here:
http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 738/ 0 2/
Each chapter that follows allows students to dem onstrate m astery of the principles of
quality writing. With its increm ental approach, this book can address a range of writing
levels and abilities, helping each student prepare for the next writing or university
course. Constant reinforcem ent is provided through exam ples and exercises, and the
text involves students in the learning process through reading, problem solving,
practicing, listening, and experiencing the writing process.
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Each chapter also has integrated exam ples that unify the discussion and form a
com m on, easy-to-understand basis for discussion an d exploration. This will put
students at ease and allow for greater understand and dem onstration of m astery of the
m aterial.
Tips for effective writing are included in every chapter, as well. Thought-provoking
scenarios provide challenges and opportunities for collaboration and interaction. These
exercises are especially helpful for working with groups of students. Clear exercises
teach sentence and paragraph writing skills that lead to com m on English com position
and busin ess docum ents.
Business English for Success also offers a separate chapter for English Language
Learners. This chapter focuses on word order, negative statem ents, count and noncount
nouns and articles, verb tenses, m odal auxiliaries, prepositions, slang and idiom s.
Starting in Chapter 9 "Effective Business Writing": Effective Business Writing, the
discussion applies lessons learned from the previous foundational chapters into
com m on business issues and applications. From paraphrasing and plagiarism to style to
the research process, the expectations increase as several com m on business docum ents
are presented, includin g text m essages an d e-m ail (and netiquette), m em orandum s and
letters, the business proposal, business report, resum e, and the sales m essage. Business
English for Success provides a range of discussion, exam ples, and exercises, from
writing developm ent to m astery of the academ ic essay, that serve both student and
instructor.
A n o te to th e s tu d e n t
Writing is often a challenge. If you were ever challenged to express yourself via the
written word, this book is for you. I encourage you to explore it, use the exercises as
opportunities to learn new skills, and m ost of all, to be successful in your achievem ent of
your course objectives and goals. This text is available free online and is the result of the
dedication of m any professionals who share the com m on goal of increasing access to
educational m aterials for all students. Please thank your instructor for choosing an open
source text.
Fe atu re s
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•
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Exe rcis e s are in te grate d in e ach s e gm e n t. Each concept is imm ediately reinforced
as soon as it is introduced to keep students on track.
Exe rcis e s are de s ign e d to facilitate in te ractio n an d co llabo ratio n . This allows
for peer-peer engagem ent, developm ent of interpersonal skills, and promotion of
critical-thinking skills.
Exe rcis e s th at in vo lve s e lf-e ditin g an d co llabo rative w ritin g are fe atu re d .
This feature develops and promotes student interest in the knowledge areas and content.
Th e re are cle ar in te rn al s u m m arie s an d e ffe ctive d is p lays o f in fo rm atio n .
This contributes to ease of access to inform ation and increases students’ ability to locate
desired content.
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Ru le e xp lan atio n s are s im plifie d w ith cle ar, re le van t, an d th e m e -bas e d
e xam p le s . This feature provides context that will facilitate learning and increase
knowledge retention.
Th e re is an o bvio u s s tru ctu re to th e ch apte r an d s e gm e n t le ve l. This allows for
easy adaptation to existing and changing course needs or assessm ent outcom es.
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Ch apte r 1 W ritin g Bas ics : W h at Make s a Go o d Se n te n ce ?
1.1 Se n te n ce W ritin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the components of a basic sentence.
2. Identify the four m ost serious writing errors.
Im agine you are reading a book for school. You need to find im portant details that you
can use for an assignm ent. However, when you begin to read, you notice that the book
has very little punctuation. Sentences fail to form com plete paragraphs an d instead form
one block of text without clear organization. Most likely, this book would frustrate and
confuse you. Without clear and concise sentences, it is difficult to find the inform ation
you need.
For both students and professionals, clear com m unication is im portant. Whether you
are typing an e-m ail or writing a report, it is your responsibility to present your thoughts
and ideas clearly and precisely. Writing in com plete sentences is one way to ensure that
you com m unicate well. This section covers how to recognize and write basic sentence
structures and how to avoid som e com m on writing errors.
Co m p o n e n ts o f a Se n te n ce
Clearly written, com plete sentences require key inform ation: a subject, a verb and a
com plete idea. A sentence needs to m ake sen se on its own. Som etim es, com plete
sentences are also called independent clauses. A clause is a group of words that m ay
m ake up a senten ce. An independent clause is a group of words that m ay stand alone as
a com plete, gram m atically correct thought. The following sentences show independent
clauses.
All com plete sentences have at least one independent clause. You can identify an
independent clause by reading it on its own and looking for the subject and the verb.
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Su bje cts
When you read a sentence, you m ay first look for the subject, or what the sentence is
about. The subject usually appears at the beginning of a sentence as a noun or a
pronoun. A noun is a word that identifies a person, place, thing, or idea. A pronoun is a
word that replaces a n oun. Com m on pronouns are I, he, she, it, y ou, they , and w e. In the
following sentences, the subject is underlined once.
In these sentences, the subject is a person: Malik. The pronoun He replaces and refers
back to Malik.
In the first sentence, the subject is a place: com puter lab. In the second senten ce, the
pronoun It substitutes for com puter lab as the subject.
In the first sentence, the subject is a thing: project. In the second sentence, the pronoun
It stands in for the project.
Tip
In this chapter, please refer to the following gram m ar key:
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Co m p o u n d S u bje cts
A sentence m ay have m ore than one person, place, or thing as the subject. These
subjects are called com pound subjects. Com pound subjects are useful when you want to
discuss several subjects at once.
Pre p o s itio n al Ph ras e s
You will often read a sentence that has m ore than one noun or pronoun in it. You m ay
encounter a group of words that includes a preposition with a noun or a pronoun.
Prepositions con nect a noun, pronoun, or verb to another word that describes or
m odifies that noun, pronoun, or verb. Com m on prepositions include in, on, under,
near, by , w ith, and about. A group of words that begin with a preposition is called a
prepositional phrase. A prepositional phrase begins with a preposition and m odifies or
describes a word. It cannot act as the subject of a sentence. The following circled phrases
are exam ples of prepositional phrases.
Exe rcis e 1
Read the following sentences. Underline the subjects, and circle the prepositional
phrases.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
The gym is open until nine o’clock tonight.
We went to the store to get som e ice.
The student with the m ost extra credit will win a hom ework pass.
Maya and Tia found an abandoned cat by the side of the road.
The driver of that pickup truck skidded on the ice.
Anita won the race with tim e to spare.
The people who work for that company were surprised about the m erger.
Working in haste m eans that you are m ore likely to m ake m istakes.
The soundtrack has over sixty songs in languages from around the world.
His latest invention does not work, but it has inspired the rest of us.
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Ve rbs
Once you locate the subject of a sentence, you can m ove on to the n ext part of a
com plete senten ce: the verb. A verb is often an action word that shows what the subject
is doing. A verb can also link the subject to a describing word. There are three types of
verbs that you can use in a sentence: action verbs, linking verbs, or helping verbs.
Actio n Ve rb s
A verb that connects the subject to an action is called an action verb. An action verb
answers the question w hat is the subject doing? In the following sentences, the words
underlined twice are action verbs.
Lin kin g Ve rbs
A verb can often connect the subject of the sentence to a describing word. This type of
verb is called a linking verb because it links the subject to a describin g word. In the
following sentences, the words underlin ed twice are linking verbs.
If you have trouble telling the differen ce between action verbs and linking verbs,
rem em ber that an action verb shows that the subject is doing som ething, whereas a
linking verb sim ply connects the subject to another word that describes or m odifies the
subject. A few verbs can be used as either action verbs or linking verbs.
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Although both sentences use the sam e verb, the two sentences have com pletely different
m eanings. In the first sentence, the verb describes the boy’s action. In the second
sentence, the verb describes the boy’s appearance.
H e lp in g Ve rb s
A third type of verb you m ay use as you write is a helping verb. Helping verbs are verbs
that are used with the m ain verb to describe a m ood or tense. Helping verbs are usually
a form of be, do, or have. The word can is also used as a helping verb.
Tip
Whenever you write or edit senten ces, keep the subject and verb in m ind. As you write,
ask yourself these questions to keep yourself on track:
Su bje ct: Who or what is the sentence about?
Ve rb: Which word shows an action or links the subject to a description?
Exe rcis e 2
Copy each sentence onto your own sheet of paper and underlin e the verb(s) twice. Nam e
the type of verb(s) used in the sentence in the space provided (LV, HV, or V).
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
The cat sounds ready to com e back inside. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
We have not eaten dinner yet. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It took four people to move the broken-down car. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The book was filled with notes from class. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
We walked from room to room , inspecting for dam ages. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Harold was expecting a package in the m ail. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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7. The clothes still felt damp even though they had been through the dryer twice.
________
8. The teacher who runs the studio is often praised for his restoration work on old
m asterpieces. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Se n te n ce Stru ctu re , In clu d in g Fragm e n ts an d Ru n -o n s
Now that you know what m akes a com plete sentence—a subject and a verb—you can use
other parts of speech to build on this basic structure. Good writers use a variety of
sentence structures to m ake their work m ore interesting. This section covers different
sentence structures that you can use to m ake longer, m ore com plex sentences.
Se n te n ce Patte rn s
Six basic subject-verb patterns can enhance your writing. A sam ple sentence is provided
for each pattern. As you read each sentence, take note of where each part of the sentence
falls. Notice that som e sentence patterns use action verbs and others use linking verbs.
Su bje ct– Ve rb
Su bje ct– Lin kin g Ve rb– N o u n
Su bje ct– Lin kin g Ve rb– Ad je ctive
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Su bje ct– Ve rb– Ad ve rb
Su bje ct– Ve rb– D ire ct Obje ct
When you write a sentence with a direct object (DO), m ake sure that the DO receives the
action of the verb.
Su bje ct– Ve rb– In d ire ct Obje ct– D ire ct Obje ct
In this sentence structure, an indirect object explain s to w hom or to w hat the action is
being don e. The indirect object is a noun or pronoun, and it com es before the direct
object in a senten ce.
Exe rcis e 3
Use what you have learned so far to bring variety in your writing. Use the following lines
or your own sheet of paper to write six sentences that practice each basic sentence
pattern. When you have finished, label each part of the sentence (S, V, LV, N, Adj, Adv,
DO, IO).
1. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
2. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
3. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
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4. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
5. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
6. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___
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Collaboration
Find an article in a n ewspaper, a m agazine, or online that interests you. Bring it to class
or post it online. Then, looking at a classm ate’s article, identify one exam ple of each part
of a sentence (S, V, LV, N, Adj, Adv, DO, IO). Please share or post your results.
Fragm e n ts
The senten ces you have encountered so far have been indepen dent clauses. As you look
m ore closely at your past writing assignm ents, you m ay notice that som e of your
sentences are not com plete. A sentence that is m issing a subject or a verb is called a
fragm ent. A fragm ent m ay include a description or m ay express part of an idea, but it
does not express a com plete thought.
Fragm e n t: Children helping in the kitchen.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : Children helping in the kitchen o fte n m ake a m e s s .
You can easily fix a fragm ent by adding the m issing subject or verb. In the exam ple, the
sentence was m issing a verb. Adding often m ake a m ess creates an S-V-N sentence
structure.
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Figure 1.1 Editing Fragm ents That Are Missin g a Subject or a Verb
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See whether you can identify what is m issing in the following fragm ents.
Fragm e n t: Told her about the broken vase.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : I told her about the broken vase.
Fragm e n t: The store down on Main Street.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : The store down on Main Street s e lls m u s ic.
Co m m o n Se n te n ce Erro rs
Fragm ents often occur because of som e com m on error, such as starting a sentence with
a preposition, a depen dent word, an infinitive, or a gerund. If you use the six basic
sentence patterns when you write, you should be able to avoid these errors and thus
avoid writing fragm ents.
When you see a preposition, check to see that it is part of a senten ce containing a subject
and a verb. If it is not connected to a com plete sentence, it is a fragm ent, and you will
need to fix this type of fragm ent by com bining it with another sentence. You can add the
prepositional phrase to the end of the sentence. If you add it to the beginning of the
other sentence, insert a com m a after the prepositional phrase.
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Figure 1.2 Editing Fragm ents That Begin with a Preposition
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Exam ple A
Exam ple B
Clauses that start with a dependent word—such as since, because, w ithout, or unless—
are sim ilar to prepositional phrases. Like prepositional phrases, these clauses can be
fragm ents if they are n ot connected to an independent clause containing a subject and a
verb. To fix the problem , you can add such a fragm ent to the beginning or end of a
sentence. If the fragm ent is added at the beginning of a sentence, add a com m a.
When you encounter a word ending in -ing in a senten ce, identify whether or not this
word is used as a verb in the sentence. You m ay also look for a helping verb. If the word
is not used as a verb or if no helping verb is used with the -ing verb form , the verb is
being used as a noun. An -ing verb form used as a noun is called a gerund.
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Once you know whether the -ing word is acting as a noun or a verb, look at the rest of
the sentence. Does the entire senten ce m ake sense on its own? If not, what you are
looking at is a fragm en t. You will need to either add the parts of speech that are m issing
or com bine the fragm ent with a nearby sentence.
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Figure 1.3 Editing Fragm ents That Begin with Gerunds
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In co rre ct: Taking deep breaths. Saul prepared for his presentation.
Co rre ct: Taking deep breaths, Saul prepared for his presentation.
Co rre ct: Saul prepared for his presentation. He w as takin g deep breaths.
In co rre ct: Congratulating the entire team . Sarah raised her glass to toast their success.
Co rre ct: Sh e w as congratulating the entire team . Sarah raised her glass to toast their
success.
Co rre ct: Congratulating the entire team , Sarah raised her glass to toast their success.
Another error in sentence construction is a fragm ent that begins with an infin itive. An
infinitive is a verb paired with the word to; for exam ple, to run, to w rite, or to reach.
Although infinitives are verbs, they can be used as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs. You
can correct a fragm ent that begins with an infinitive by either com bin ing it with another
sentence or adding the parts of speech that are m issing.
In co rre ct: We needed to m ake three hundred m ore paper cranes. To reach the one
thousand m ark.
Co rre ct: We needed to m ake three hundred m ore paper cranes to reach the one
thousand m ark.
Co rre ct: We needed to m ake three hundred m ore paper cranes. W e w an te d to reach
the one thousand m ark.
Exe rcis e 4
Copy the following sentences onto your own sheet of paper and circle the fragm ents.
Then com bin e the fragm ent with the indepen dent clause to create a com plete senten ce.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Working without taking a break. We try to get as m uch work done as we can in an hour.
I needed to bring work hom e. In order to m eet the deadline.
Unless the ground thaws before spring break. We won’t be planting any tulips this year.
Turning the lights off after he was done in the kitchen. Robert tries to conserve energy
whenever possible.
5. You’ll find what you need if you look. On the shelf next to the potted plant.
6. To find the perfect apartm ent. Deidre scoured the classifieds each day.
Ru n -o n Se n te n ce s
J ust as short, incom plete sentences can be problem atic, lengthy sentences can be
problem atic too. Sentences with two or m ore independent clauses that have been
incorrectly com bined are known as run-on sentences. A run-on sentence m ay be either a
fused sentence or a com m a splice.
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Fu s e d s e n te n ce : A fam ily of foxes lived under our shed young foxes played all over the
yard.
Co m m a s p lice : We looked outside, the kids were hopping on the tram poline.
When two com plete sentences are com bined into one without any punctuation, the
result is a fused senten ce. When two com plete sentences are joined by a com m a, the
result is a com m a splice. Both errors can easily be fixed.
Pu n ctu atio n
One way to correct run-on senten ces is to correct the punctuation. For exam ple, adding
a period will correct the run-on by creating two separate sentences.
Using a sem icolon between the two com plete sentences will also correct the error. A
sem icolon allows you to keep the two closely related ideas together in one senten ce.
When you punctuate with a sem icolon, m ake sure that both parts of the sentence are
independent clauses. For m ore inform ation on sem icolons, see .
Ru n -o n : The accident closed both lanes of traffic we waited an hour for the wreckage to
be cleared.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : The accident closed both lanes of traffic; we waited an hour for
the wreckage to be cleared.
When you use a sem icolon to separate two independent clauses, you m ay wish to add a
transition word to show the connection between the two thoughts. After the sem icolon,
add the transition word and follow it with a com m a. For m ore inform ation on transition
words, see .
Ru n -o n : The project was put on hold we didn’t have tim e to slow down, so we kept
working.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : The project was put on hold; h o w e ve r, we didn’t have tim e to
slow down, so we kept working.
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Co o rd in atin g Co n ju n ctio n s
You can also fix run-on sentences by adding a com m a and a coordinating conjunction. A
coordinating conjunction acts as a link between two independent clauses.
Tip
These are the seven coordinating conjunctions that you can use: for, and, nor, but, or,
y et, and so. Use these words appropriately when you want to link the two indepen dent
clauses. The acronym FAN BOYS will help you rem em ber this group of coordinating
conjunctions.
Ru n -o n : The new printer was installed, no one knew how to use it.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : The new printer was installed, bu t no one knew how to use it.
D e p e n d e n t W o rd s
Adding dependent words is another way to lin k indepen dent clauses. Like the
coordinating conjunctions, dependent words show a relationship between two
independent clauses.
Ru n -o n : We took the elevator, the others still got there before us.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : Alth o u gh we took the elevator, the others got there before us.
Ru n -o n : Cobwebs covered the furniture, the room hadn’t been used in years.
Co m p le te s e n te n ce : Cobwebs covered the furniture be cau s e the room hadn’t been
used in years.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Figure 1.4 Sam ple e-m ail
Isabelle’s e-m ail opens with two fragm ents and two run-on sentences containing com m a
splices. The e-m ail ends with another fragm ent. What effect would this e-m ail have on
Mr. Blankenship or other readers? Mr. Blankenship or other readers m ay not think
highly of Isaebelle’s com m unication skills or—worse—m ay not understand the m essage
at all! Com m unications written in precise, com plete sentences are not only m ore
professional but also easier to understand. Before you hit the “send” button, read your em ail carefully to m ake sure that the sentences are com plete, are not run together, and
are correctly punctuated.
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Exe rcis e 5
A reader can get lost or lose interest in m aterial that is too dense and ram bling. Use
what you have learned about run-on sentences to correct the following passages:
1. The report is due on Wednesday but we’re flying back from Miam i that morning. I told
the project m anager that we would be able to get the report to her later that day she
suggested that we com e back a day early to get the report done and I told her we had
m eetings until our flight took off. We e-m ailed our contact who said that they would
check with his boss, she said that the project could afford a delay as long as they wouldn’t
have to m ake any edits or changes to the file our new deadline is next Friday.
2. Anna tried getting a reservation at the restaurant, but when she called they said that
there was a waiting list so she put our nam es down on the list when the day of our
reservation arrived we only had to wait thirty minutes because a table opened up
unexpectedly which was good because we were able to catch a m ovie after dinner in the
tim e we’d expected to wait to be seated.
3. Without a doubt, m y favorite artist is Leonardo da Vinci, not because of his paintings but
because of his fascinating designs, m odels, and sketches, including plans for scuba gear,
a flying m achine, and a life-size m echanical lion that actually walked and m oved its head.
His paintings are beautiful too, especially when you see the computer enhanced versions
researchers use a variety of m ethods to discover and enhance the paintings’ original
colors, the result of which are stunningly vibrant and yet delicate displays of the m an’s
genius.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
A sentence is com plete when it contains both a subject and verb. A complete sentence
m akes sense on its own.
Every sentence m ust have a subject, which usually appears at the beginning of the
sentence. A subject m ay be a noun (a person, place, or thing) or a pronoun.
A com pound subject contains m ore than one noun.
A prepositional phrase describes, or modifies, another word in the sentence but cannot
be the subject of a sentence.
A verb is often an action word that indicates what the subject is doing. Verbs m ay be
action verbs, linking verbs, or helping verbs.
Variety in sentence structure and length improves writing by m aking it m ore interesting
and m ore complex.
Focusing on the six basic sentence patterns will enhance your writing.
Fragm ents and run-on sentences are two comm on errors in sentence construction.
Fragm ents can be corrected by adding a m issing subject or verb. Fragm ents that begin
with a preposition or a dependent word can be corrected by combining the fragm ent with
another sentence.
Run-on sentences can be corrected by adding appropriate punctuation or adding a
coordinating conjunction.
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W ritin g Applicatio n
Using the six basic sen tence structures, write one of the following:
1.
2.
3.
4.
A work e-m ail to a coworker about a presentation.
A business letter to a potential em ployer.
A status report about your current project.
A job description for your résum é.
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1.2 S u bje ct-Ve rb Agre e m e n t
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Define subject-verb agreem ent.
2. Identify com mon errors in subject-verb agreem ent.
In the workplace, you want to present a professional im age. Your outfit or suit says
som ething about you when m eeting face-to-face, and your writing represents you in
your absence. Gram m atical m istakes in your writing or even in speaking m ake a
negative im pression on coworkers, clients, and potential em ployers. Subject-verb
agreem ent is one of the m ost com m on errors that people m ake. Having a solid
understanding of this concept is critical when m aking a good im pression, and it will help
ensure that your ideas are com m unicated clearly.
Agre e m e n t
Agreem ent in speech and in writing refers to the proper gram m atical m atch between
words and phrases. Parts of sentences m ust agree, or correspond with other parts, in
num ber, person, case, and gen der.
•
•
•
•
N u m be r. All parts m ust m atch in singular or plural forms.
Pe rs o n . All parts m ust m atch in first person (I), second person (y ou), or third person
(he, she, it, they ) form s.
Cas e . All parts m ust m atch in subjective (I, y ou, he, she, it, they , w e), objective (m e, her,
him , them , us), or possessive (m y , m ine, y our, y ours, his, her, hers, their, theirs, our,
ours) forms. For more inform ation on pronoun case agreem ent, see Section 1.5.1
"Pronoun Agreem ent".
Ge n d e r. All parts m ust m atch in m ale or fem ale forms.
Subject-verb agreem en t describes the proper m atch between subjects and verbs.
Because subjects and verbs are either singular or plural, the subject of a sentence an d
the verb of a sentence m ust agree with each other in num ber. That is, a singular subject
belongs with a singular verb form , and a plural subject belongs with a plural verb form .
For m ore inform ation on subjects and verbs, see Section 1.1 "Senten ce Writing".
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Re gu lar Ve rbs
Regular verbs follow a predictable pattern. For exam ple, in the third person singular,
regular verbs always end in -s. Other form s of regular verbs do not end in -s. Study the
following regular verb form s in the present tense.
Sin gu lar Fo rm Plu ral Fo rm
Firs t Pe rs o n
I live.
Se co n d Pe rs o n You live.
We live.
You live.
Th ird Pe rs o n He/ She/ It lives . They live.
Tip
Add an -es to the third person singular form of regular verbs that end in -sh, -x, -ch, an d
-s. (I wish/ He wishes, I fix/ She fixes, I watch/ It watches, I kiss/ He kisses.)
In these sentences, the verb form stays the sam e for the first person singular and the
first person plural.
In these sentences, the verb form stays the sam e for the second person singular and the
second person plural. In the singular form , the pronoun y ou refers to one person. In the
plural form , the pronoun y ou refers to a group of people, such as a team .
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In this senten ce, the subject is m other. Because the senten ce only refers to one m other,
the subject is singular. The verb in this senten ce m ust be in the third person singular
form .
In this senten ce, the subject is friends. Because this subject refers to m ore than one
person, the subject is plural. The verb in this sentence m ust be in the third person plural
form .
Tip
Many singular subjects can be m ade plural by adding an -s. Most regular verbs in the
present tense end with an -s in the third person singular. This does n ot m ake the verbs
plural.
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, write the correct verb form for each of the following
sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
I (brush/ brushes) m y teeth twice a day.
You (wear/ wears) the sam e shoes every tim e we go out.
He (kick/ kicks) the soccer ball into the goal.
She (watch/ watches) foreign film s.
Catherine (hide/ hides) behind the door.
We (want/ wants) to have dinner with you.
You (work/ works) together to finish the project.
They (need/ needs) to score another point to win the gam e.
It (eat/ eats) four tim es a day.
David (fix/ fixes) his own m otorcycle.
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Irre gu lar Ve rb s
Not all verbs follow a predictable pattern. These verbs are called irregular verbs. Som e
of the m ost com m on irregular verbs are be, have, and do. Learn the form s of these verbs
in the present tense to avoid errors in subject-verb agreem ent.
Be
Study the different form s of the verb to be in the present tense.
Sin gu lar Fo rm Plu ral Fo rm
Firs t Pe rs o n
I am .
We are.
Se co n d Pe rs o n You are.
You are.
Th ird Pe rs o n He/ She/ It is.
They are.
H ave
Study the different form s of the verb to have in the present tense.
Sin gu lar Fo rm Plu ral Fo rm
Firs t Pe rs o n
I have.
Se co n d Pe rs o n You have.
We have.
You have.
Th ird Pe rs o n He/ She/ It has. They have.
Do
Study the different form s of the verb to do in the present tense.
Sin gu lar Fo rm Plu ral Fo rm
Firs t Pe rs o n
I do.
Se co n d Pe rs o n You do.
We do.
You do.
Th ird p e rs o n He/ She/ It does. They do.
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Exe rcis e 2
Com plete the following sentences by writing the correct present tense form of be, have,
or do. Use your own sheet of paper to com plete this exercise.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ sure that you will succeed.
They _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ front-row tickets to the show.
He _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ a great Elvis impersonation.
We _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ so excited to m eet you in person!
She _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ a fever and a sore throat.
You _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ not know what you are talking about.
You _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ all going to pass this class.
She _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ not going to like that.
It _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ appear to be the right size.
They _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ready to take this job seriously.
Erro rs in Su b je ct-Ve rb Agre e m e n t
Errors in subject-verb agreem ent m ay occur when
•
•
•
•
•
a sentence contains a com pound subject;
the subject of the sentence is separate from the verb;
the subject of the sentence is an indefinite pronoun, such as any one or every one;
the subject of the sentence is a collective noun, such as team or organization;
the subject appears after the verb.
Recognizing the sources of com m on errors in subject-verb agreem en t will help you
avoid these errors in your writing. This section covers the subject-verb agreem ent errors
in m ore detail.
Co m p o u n d S u bje cts
A com pound subject is form ed by two or m ore nouns and the coordinating conjunctions
and, or, or nor. A com pound subject can be m ade of singular subjects, plural subjects,
or a com bination of singular and plural subjects.
Com pound subjects com bined with and take a plural verb form .
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Com pound subjects com bined with or and nor are treated separately. The verb m ust
agree with the subject that is nearest to the verb.
Tip
If you can substitute the word they for the com pound subject, then the sentence takes
the third person plural verb form .
Se p aratio n o f Su b je cts an d Ve rbs
As you read or write, you m ay com e across a sentence that contains a phrase or clause
that separates the subject from the verb. Often, prepositional phrases or dependent
clauses add m ore inform ation to the sentence and appear between the subject and the
verb. However, the subject and the verb m ust still agree.
If you have trouble finding the subject and verb, cross out or ignore the phrases an d
clauses that begin with prepositions or dependent words. The subject of a sentence will
never be in a prepositional phrase or dependent clause.
The following is an exam ple of a subject and verb separated by a prepositional phrase:
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The following is an exam ple of a subject an d verb separated by a dependent clause:
In d e fin ite P ro n o u n s
Indefinite pronouns refer to an unspecified person, thing, or num ber. When an
indefinite pronoun serves as the subject of a sentence, you will often use a singular verb
form .
However, keep in m in d that exceptions arise. Som e indefinite pronouns m ay require a
plural verb form . To determ ine whether to use a singular or plural verb with an
indefinite pronoun, consider the noun that the pronoun would refer to. If the noun is
plural, then use a plural verb with the indefinite pronoun. View the chart to see a list of
com m on indefinite pronouns and the verb form s they agree with.
In d e fin ite Pro n o u n s Th at Alw ays Take
a Sin gu lar Ve rb
In d e fin ite Pro n o u n s Th at Can Take a
Sin gu lar o r Plu ral Ve rb
anybody, anyone, anything
All
each
Any
everybody, everyone, everything
None
m uch
Som e
m any
nobody, no one, nothing
som ebody, som eone, som ething
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The indefinite pronoun every body takes a singular verb form because every body refers
to a group perform ing the sam e action as a single unit.
The indefinite pronoun all takes a plural verb form because all refers to the plural noun
people. Because people is plural, all is plural.
In this senten ce, the indefinite pronoun all takes a singular verb form because all refers
to the singular noun cake. Because cake is sin gular, all is singular.
Co lle ctive N o u n s
A collective noun is a n oun that identifies m ore than one person, place, or thing and
considers those people, places, or things one singular unit. Because collective nouns are
counted as one, they are singular an d require a singular verb. Som e com m only used
collective nouns are group, team , arm y , flock, fam ily , and class.
In this senten ce, class is a collective noun. Although the class con sists of m any students,
the class is treated as a singular unit and requires a singular verb form .
Th e Su bje ct Fo llo w s th e Ve rb
You m ay encounter sentences in which the subject com es after the verb instead of before
the verb. In other words, the subject of the sentence m ay not appear where you expect it
to appear. To ensure proper subject-verb agreem ent, you m ust correctly identify the
subject and the verb.
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H e re o r Th e re
In sentences that begin with here or there, the subject follows the verb.
If you have trouble identifying the subject and the verb in sentences that start with here
or there; it m ay help to reverse the order of the sentence so the subject com es first.
Qu e s tio n s
When you ask questions, a question word (w ho, w hat, w here, w hen, w hy , or how )
appears first. The verb and then the subject follow.
Tip
If you have trouble finding the subject and the verb in questions, try answering the
question being asked.
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Exe rcis e 3
Correct the errors in subject-verb agreem ent in the following sentences. If there are no
errors in subject-verb agreem ent, write OK. Copy the corrected sen tence or the word OK
on your own sheet of notebook paper.
1. My dog and cats chases each other all the tim e.
_______________________________________________________
_________
2. The books that are in m y library is the best I have ever read.
_______________________________________________________
_________
3. Everyone are going to the concert except m e.
_______________________________________________________
_________
4. My fam ily are m oving to California.
_______________________________________________________
_________
5. Here is the lake I told you about.
_______________________________________________________
_________
6. There is the newspapers I was supposed to deliver.
_______________________________________________________
_________
7. Which room is bigger?
_______________________________________________________
_________
8 . When are the m ovie going to start?
_______________________________________________________
_________
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9. My sister and brother cleans up after them selves.
_______________________________________________________
_________
10 . Som e of the clothes is packed away in the attic.
_______________________________________________________
_________
Exe rcis e 4
Correct the errors in subject-verb agreem ent in the following paragraph. Copy the
paragraph on a piece of notebook paper and m ake corrections.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I feels that I am the ideal candidate for the receptionist position at your com pany. I has
three years of experience as a receptionist in a com pany that is sim ilar to yours. My
phone skills and written com m unication is excellent. These skills, and others that I have
learned on the job, helps m e understand that every person in a com pany helps m ake the
business a success. At m y current job, the team always say that I am very helpful.
Everyone appreciate when I go the extra m ile to get the job done right. My current
em ployer an d coworkers feels that I am an asset to the team . I is efficient an d organized.
Is there an y other details about m e that you would like to know? If so, please contact
m e. Here are m y résum é. You can reach m e by e-m ail or phone. I looks forward to
speaking with you in person.
Thanks,
Felicia Fellini
W ritin g at W o rk
Figure 1.5 Advertisem ent
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Im agine that you are a prospective client and that you saw this ad online. Would you call
Terra Services to handle your next project? Probably not! Mistakes in subject-verb
agreem ent can cost a com pany business. Paying careful attention to gram m atical details
ensures professionalism that clients will recognize and respect.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Parts of sentences m ust agree in num ber, person, case, and gender.
A verb m ust always agree with its subject in number. A singular subject requires a
singular verb; a plural subject requires a plural verb.
Irregular verbs do not follow a predictable pattern in their singular and plural forms.
Com mon irregular verbs are to be, to have, and to do.
A com pound subject is form ed when two or more nouns are joined by the words and, or,
or nor.
In som e sentences, the subject and verb m ay be separated by a phrase or clause, but the
verb must still agree with the subject.
Indefinite pronouns, such as any one, each, every one, m any , no one, and som ething,
refer to unspecified people or objects. Most indefinite pronouns are singular.
A collective noun is a noun that identifies more than one person, place, or thing and
treats those people, places, or things one singular unit. Collective nouns require singular
verbs.
In sentences that begin with here and there, the subject follows the verb.
In questions, the subject follows the verb.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Use your knowledge of subject-verb agreem ent to write one of the following:
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1. An advertisem ent for a potential com pany
2. A m em o to all em ployees of a particular company
3. A cover letter describing your qualifications to a potential em ployer
Be sure to include at least the following:
•
•
•
One collective noun
One irregular verb
One question
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1.3 Ve rb Te n s e
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the correct regular verb tense in basic sentences.
2. Use the correct irregular verb tense in basic sentences.
Suppose you m ust give an oral presentation about what you did last sum m er. How do
you m ake it clear that you are talking about the past and not about the present or the
future? Using the correct verb tense can help you do this.
It is im portant to use the proper verb ten se. Otherwise, your listener m ight judge you
harshly. Mistakes in tense often leave a listen er or reader with a negative im pression.
Re gu lar Ve rbs
Verbs indicate actions or states of being in the past, present, or future using tenses.
Regular verbs follow regular patterns when shifting from the present to past tense. For
exam ple, to form a past-tense or past-participle verb form , add -ed or -d to the end of a
verb. You can avoid m istakes by understanding this basic pattern.
Verb tense identifies the tim e of action described in a sentence. Verbs take different
form s to indicate different tenses. Verb tenses indicate
•
•
•
an action or state of being in the present,
an action or state of being in the past,
an action or state of being in the future.
Helping verbs, such as be and have, also work to create verb tenses, such as the future
tense.
Exe rcis e 1
Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct form of the verb in sim ple
present, sim ple past, or sim ple future tenses. Write the corrected sentence on your own
sheet of paper.
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1. The Dust Bowl (is, was, will be) a nam e given to a period of very destructive dust storms
that occurred in the United States during the 1930 s.
2. Historians today (consider, considered, will consider) The Dust Bowl to be one of the
worst weather of events in Am erican history.
3. The Dust Bowl m ostly (affects, affected, will affect) the states of Kansas, Colorado,
Oklahom a, Texas, and New Mexico.
4. Dust storms (continue, continued, will continue) to occur in these dry regions, but not to
the devastating degree of the 1930 s.
5. The dust storm s during The Dust Bowl (cause, caused, will cause) irreparable dam age to
farm s and the environm ent for a period of several years.
6. When early settlers (m ove, m oved, will m ove) into this area, they (rem ove, rem oved, will
rem ove) the natural prairie grasses in order to plant crops and graze their cattle.
7. They did not (realize, realized, will realize) that the grasses kept the soil in place.
8. There (is, was, will be) also a severe drought that (affects, affected, will affect) the region.
9. The worst dust storm (happens, happened, will happen) on April 14, 1935, a day called
Black Sunday.
10 . The Dust Bowl era finally cam e to end in 1939 when the rains (arrive, arrived, will
arrive).
11. Dust storms (continue, continued, will continue) to affect the region, but hopefully they
will not be as destructive as the storm s of the 1930s.
Irre gu lar Ve rb s
The past tense of irregular verbs is not form ed using the patterns that regular verbs
follow. Study , which lists the m ost com m on irregular verbs.
Tip
The best way to learn irregular verbs is to m em orize them . With the help of a classm ate,
create flashcards of irregular verbs and test yourselves until you m aster them .
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Table 1.1 Irregular Verbs
Sim p le Pre s e n t
Pas t
Sim p le Pre s e n t
Pas t
be
was, were
lose
lost
becom e
becam e
m ake
m ade
begin
began
m ean
m eant
blow
blew
m eet
m et
break
broke
pay
paid
bring
brought
put
put
build
built
quit
quit
burst
burst
read
read
buy
bought
ride
rode
catch
caught
ring
rang
choose
chose
rise
rose
com e
cam e
run
ran
cut
cut
say
said
dive
dove (dived) see
saw
do
did
seek
sought
draw
drew
sell
sold
drink
drank
send
sent
drive
drove
set
set
eat
ate
shake
shook
fall
fell
shine
shone (shined)
feed
fed
shrink
shrank (shrunk)
feel
felt
sing
sang
fight
fought
sit
sat
find
found
sleep
slept
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Sim p le Pre s e n t
Pas t
Sim p le Pre s e n t
Pas t
fly
flew
speak
spoke
forget
forgot
spend
spent
forgive
forgave
spring
sprang
freeze
froze
stand
stood
get
got
steal
stole
give
gave
strike
struck
go
went
swim
swam
grow
grew
swing
swung
have
had
take
took
hear
heard
teach
taught
hide
hid
tear
tore
hold
held
tell
told
hurt
hurt
think
thought
keep
kept
throw
threw
know
knew
understand
understood
lay
laid
wake
woke
lead
led
wear
wore
leave
left
win
won
let
let
wind
wound
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Here we consider usin g irregular verbs.
Exe rcis e 2
Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct form of the irregular verb in
sim ple present, sim ple past, or sim ple future tense. Copy the corrected senten ce onto
your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
Marina finally (forgived, forgave, will forgive) her sister for snooping around her room .
The house (shook, shaked, shakes) as the airplane rumbled overhead.
I (buyed, bought, buy) several item s of clothing at the thrift store on Wednesday.
She (put, putted, puts) the lotion in her shopping basket and proceeded to the checkout
line.
The prized goose (layed, laid, lay) several golden eggs last night.
Mr. Batista (teached, taught, taughted) the class how to use correct punctuation.
I (drink, drank, will drink) several glasses of sparkling cider instead of cham pagne on
New Year’s Eve next year.
Although Hector (growed, grew, grows) three inches in one year, we still called him
“Little Hector.”
Yesterday our tour guide (lead, led, will lead) us through the m aze of people in Tim es
Square.
The rock band (burst, bursted, bursts) onto the m usic scene with their catchy songs.
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, write a sentence using the correct form of the verb tense
shown below.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Throw (past)
Paint (sim ple present)
Sm ile (future)
Tell (past)
Share (simple present)
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Main tain in g Co n s is te n t Ve rb Te n s e
Consistent verb tense m eans the sam e verb tense is used throughout a sentence or a
paragraph. As you write and revise, it is im portant to use the sam e verb tense
consistently and to avoid shifting from one tense to another unless there is a good
reason for the tense shift. In the following box, see whether you notice the difference
between a sentence with consistent tense and one with inconsistent tense.
Tip
In som e cases, clear com m unication will call for different tenses. Look at the following
exam ple:
If the tim e fram e for each action or state is different, a tense shift is appropriate.
Exe rcis e 4
Edit the following paragraph by correcting the inconsistent verb ten se. Copy the
corrected paragraph onto your own sheet of paper.
In the Middle Ages, m ost people lived in villages and work as agricultural laborers, or
peasants. Every village has a “lord,” and the peasants worked on his land. Much of what
they produce go to the lord and his fam ily. What little food was leftover goes to support
the peasants’ fam ilies. In return for their labor, the lord offers them protection. A
peasant’s day usually began before sunrise and involves long hours of backbreaking
work, which includes plowing the land, planting seeds, and cutting crops for harvesting.
The working life of a peasant in the Middle Ages is usually dem anding and exhausting.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Read the following excerpt from a work e-m ail:
The incon sistent tense in the e-m ail will very likely distract the reader from its overall
point. Most likely, your coworkers will not correct your verb tenses or call attention to
gram m atical errors, but it is im portant to keep in m in d that errors such as these do have
a subtle negative im pact in the workplace.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
Verb tense helps you express when an event takes place.
Regular verbs follow regular patterns when shifting from present to past tense.
Irregular verbs do not follow regular, predictable patterns when shifting from present to
past tense.
Using consistent verb tense is a key elem ent to effective writing.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Tell a fam ily story. You likely have several fam ily stories to choose from , but pick the one
that you find m ost interesting to write about. Use as m any details as you can in the
telling. As you write and proofread, m ake sure your all your verbs are correct an d the
tenses are consistent.
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1.4 Cap italizatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Learn the basic rules of capitalization.
2. Identify com mon capitalization errors.
Text m essages, casual e-m ails, and instant m essages often ignore the rules of
capitalization. In fact, it can seem unnecessary to capitalize in these contexts. In other,
m ore form al form s of com m unication, however, knowing the basic rules of
capitalization an d using capitalization correctly gives the reader the im pression that you
choose your words carefully and care about the ideas you are conveying.
Cap italize th e Firs t W o rd o f a Se n te n ce
Cap italize Pro p e r N o u n s
Proper nouns—the nam es of specific people, places, objects, streets, buildings, events, or
titles of individuals—are always capitalized.
Tip
Always capitalize nationalities, races, languages, and religions. For exam ple, Am erican,
African Am erican, Hispanic, Catholic, Protestant, J ewish, Muslim , Hindu, Buddhist,
and so on.
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Do not capitalize nouns for people, places, things, streets, buildings, events, and titles
when the noun is used in general or com m on way. See the following chart for the
difference between proper nouns and com m on nouns.
Co m m o n N o u n
Pro pe r N o u n
m useum
The Art Institute of Chicago
theater
Apollo Theater
country
Malaysia
uncle
Uncle J avier
doctor
Dr. J ackson
book
Pride and Prejudice
college
Sm ith College
war
the Spanish-Am erican War
historical event
The Renaissance
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, write five proper nouns for each com m on noun that is
listed. The first one has been done for you.
Com m on noun: river
1. Nile River
2.
3.
4.
5.
Com m on noun: m usician
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Com m on noun: m agazine
1.
2.
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3.
4.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Cap italize D ays o f th e W e e k, Mo n th s o f th e Ye a r, an d H o lid ays
Cap italize Title s
Tip
Com puter-related words such as “Internet” and “World Wide Web” are usually
capitalized; however, “e-m ail” and “onlin e” are never capitalized.
Exe rcis e 2
Edit the following sentences by correcting the capitalization of the titles or nam es.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The prince of england enjoys playing polo.
“Ode to a nightingale” is a sad poem.
My sister loves to read magazines such as the new yorker.
The house on Mango street is an excellent novel written by Sandra Cisneros.
My physician, dr. alvarez, always m akes m e feel com fortable in her office.
Exe rcis e 3
Edit the following paragraphs by correcting the capitalization.
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david grann’s the lost City of Z m im ics the snake-like winding of the am azon River. The
three distin ct Stories that are introduced are like twists in the River. First, the Author
describes his own journey to the am azon in the present day, which is contrasted by an
account of percy fawcett’s voyage in 1925 and a depiction of J am es Lynch’s expedition in
1996. Where does the river lead these explorers? the answer is one that both the Author
and the reader are hungry to discover.
The first lines of the preface pull the reader in im m ediately because we know the author,
david grann, is lost in the am azon. It is a com pelling beginning not only because it’s
thrilling but also because this is a true account of grann’s experience. grann has dropped
the reader sm ack in the m iddle of his conflict by adm itting the recklessness of his
decision to com e to this place. the suspense is further perpetuated by his unnerving
observation that he always considered him self A Neutral Witness, never getting
personally involved in his stories, a notion that is swiftly contradicted in the opening
pages, as the reader can clearly perceive that he is in a dire predicam ent—and
frighteningly involved.
W ritin g at W o rk
Did you know that, if you use all capital letters to convey a m essage, the capital letters
com e across like shouting? In addition, all capital letters are actually m ore difficult to
read and m ay annoy the reader. To avoid “shouting” at or annoying your reader, follow
the rules of capitalization and find other ways to em phasize your point.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Learning and applying the basic rules of capitalization is a fundam ental aspect of good
writing.
Identifying and correcting errors in capitalization is an im portant writing skill.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a one-page biography. Make sure to identify people, places, an d dates and use
capitalization correctly.
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1.5 Pro n o u n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify pronouns and their antecedents.
2. Use pronouns and their antecedents correctly.
If there were no pronouns, all types of writing would be quite tedious to read. We would
soon be frustrated by reading senten ces like Bob said that Bob w as tired or Christina
told the class that Christina received an A. Pronouns help a writer avoid constant
repetition. Knowing just how pronouns work is an im portant aspect of clear and concise
writing.
Pro n o u n Agre e m e n t
A pronoun is a word that takes the place of (or refers back to) a noun or another
pronoun. The word or words a pronoun refers to is called the antecedent of the pronoun.
1. Lani com plained that she was exhausted.
o
o
She refers to Lani.
Lani is the antecedent of she.
2. Jerem y left the party early, so I did not see him until Monday at work.
o
o
Him refers to J erem y.
Jerem y is the antecedent of him .
3. Crina and Rosalie have been best friends ever since they were freshm an in high
school.
o
o
They refers to Crina and Rosalie.
Crina and Rosalie is the antecedent of they .
Pronoun agreem ent errors occur when the pronoun and the antecedent do not m atch or
agree with each other. There are several types of pronoun agreem ent.
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Agre e m e n t in N u m be r
If the pronoun takes the place of or refers to a singular noun, the pronoun m ust also be
singular.
Agre e m e n t in Pe rs o n
Sin gu lar Pro n o u n s
Firs t Pe rs o n
I
Se co n d Pe rs o n you
Plu ral Pro n o u n s
me
m y (m ine) we us
our (ours)
you
your (yours) you you your (your)
Th ird Pe rs o n he, she, it him , her, it his, her, its theythem their (theirs)
If you use a consistent person, your reader is less likely to be confused.
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Exe rcis e 1
Edit the following paragraph by correcting pronoun agreem ent errors in num ber and
person.
Over spring break I visited m y older cousin, Diana, and they took m e to a butterfly
exhibit at a m useum . Diana and I have been close ever since she was young. Our
m others are twin sisters, and she is inseparable! Diana knows how m uch I love
butterflies, so it was their special present to m e. I have a soft spot for caterpillars too. I
love them because som ething about the way it transform s is so interesting to m e. One
sum m er m y grandm other gave m e a butterfly growing kit, and you got to see the entire
life cycle of five Painted Lady butterflies. I even got to set it free. So when m y cousin said
they wanted to take m e to the butterfly exhibit, I was really excited!
In d e fin ite P ro n o u n s an d Agre e m e n t
Indefinite pronouns do not refer to a specific person or thing and are usually singular.
Note that a pronoun that refers to an in definite singular pronoun should also be
singular. The following are som e com m on indefinite pronouns.
Co m m o n In d e fin ite Pro n o u n s
all
each one few
any
each other m any one
anybody either
nothing
several
som e
neither one another som ebody
anythingeverybody nobodyoneself
som eone
both
everyone none
som ething
each
everythingno one others
other
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Co lle ctive N o u n s
Collective nouns suggest m ore than one person but are usually considered singular.
Look over the following exam ples of collective nouns.
Co m m o n Co lle ctive N o u n s
audience faculty
public
band
fam ily
school
class
governm ent society
com mittee group
team
company jury
tribe
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Exe rcis e 2
Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct pronoun. Copy the com pleted
sentence onto your own sheet of paper. Then circle the noun the pronoun replaces.
1. In the current econom y, nobody wants to waste _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ m oney on frivolous things.
2. If anybody chooses to go to m edical school, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ m ust be prepared to work long
hours.
3. The plumbing crew did _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ best to repair the broken pipes before the next ice
storm .
4. If som eone is rude to you, try giving _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ a sm ile in return.
5. My fam ily has _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ faults, but I still love them no m atter what.
6. The school of education plans to train _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ students to be literacy tutors.
7. The com m encem ent speaker said that each student has a responsibility toward
________.
8. My m other’s singing group has _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ rehearsals on Thursday evenings.
9. No one should suffer _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ pains alone.
10 . I thought the flock of birds lost _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ way in the storm.
Su bje ct an d Obje ct Pro n o u n s
Subject pronouns function as subjects in a sentence. Object pronouns function as the
object of a verb or of a preposition.
Sin gu lar Pro n o u n s Plu ral Pro n o u n s
Su bje ct
Obje ct
Su bje ct Obje ct
I
me
we
us
you
you
you
you
he, she, it him , her, it they
them
The following sentences show pronouns as subjects:
1. She loves the Blue Ridge Mountains in the fall.
2. Every summ er, they picked up litter from national parks.
The following sentences show pronouns as objects:
1. Marie leaned over and kissed him .
2. J ane m oved it to the corner.
Tip
Note that a pronoun can also be the object of a preposition.
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Near them , the children played.
My m other stood between us.
The pronouns us and them are objects of the prepositions near and betw een. They
answer the questions near whom ? And betw een whom ?
Com pound subject pronouns are two or m ore pronouns joined by a conjunction or a
preposition that function as the subject of the sentence.
The following sentences show pronouns with com pound subjects:
In co rre ct:Me and Harriet visited the Grand Canyon last sum m er.
Co rre ct:Harriet and I visited the Grand Canyon last sum m er.
Co rre ct: J enna accom panied Harriet and m e on our trip.
Tip
Note that object pronouns are never used in the subject position. One way to rem em ber
this rule is to rem ove the other subject in a com pound subject, leave only the pronoun,
and see whether the sentence m akes sen se. For exam ple, Me visited the Grand Cany on
last sum m er sounds im m ediately incorrect.
Com pound object pronouns are two or m ore pronouns joined by a conjunction or a
preposition that function as the object of the sentence.
In co rre ct: I have a good feeling about Janice and I.
Co rre ct: I have a good feeling about Janice and m e.
Tip
It is correct to write Janice and m e, as opposed to m e and Janice. J ust rem em ber it is
m ore polite to refer to yourself last.
W ritin g at W o rk
In casual conversation, people som etim es m ix up subject and object pronouns. For
instance, you m ight say, “Me and Donnie went to a m ovie last night.” However, when
you are writing or speaking at work or in any other form al situation, you need to
rem em ber the distinctions between subject an d object pronouns and be able to correct
yourself. These subtle gram m ar corrections will enhance your professional im age and
reputation.
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Exe rcis e 3
Revise the following sentences in which the subject and object pronouns are used
incorrectly. Copy the revised sentence onto your own sheet of paper. Write a C for each
sentence that is correct.
1. Meera and m e enjoy doing yoga together on Sundays.
_______________________________________________________
_________
2. She an d him have decided to sell their house.
_______________________________________________________
_________
3. Between you and I, I do not think J effrey will win the election.
_______________________________________________________
_________
4. Us and our friends have gam e night the first Thursday of every m onth.
_______________________________________________________
_________
5. They and I m et while on vacation in Mexico.
_______________________________________________________
_________
6. Napping on the beach never gets boring for Alice an d I.
_______________________________________________________
_________
7. New Year’s Eve is not a good tim e for she and I to have a serious talk.
_______________________________________________________
_________
8 . You exercise m uch m ore often than m e.
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_______________________________________________________
_________
9. I am going to the com edy club with Yolanda and she.
_______________________________________________________
_________
10 . The cooking instructor taught her and m e a lot.
_______________________________________________________
_________
W h o ve rs u s W h o m
W ho or w hoever is always the subject of a verb. Use w ho or w hoever when the pronoun
perform s the action in dicated by the verb.
W ho won the m arathon last Tuesday?
I wonder w ho cam e up with that terrible idea!
On the other hand, w hom and w hom ever serve as objects. They are used when the
pronoun does not perform an action. Use w hom or w hom ever when the pronoun is the
direct object of a verb or the object of a preposition.
W hom did Frank m arry the third tim e? (direct object of verb)
From w hom did you buy that old record player? (object of preposition)
Tip
If you are having trouble deciding when to use w ho and w hom , try this trick. Take the
following sentence:
W ho/ W hom do I consider m y best friend?
Reorder the sentence in your head, using either he or him in place of w ho or w hom .
I consider him m y best friend.
I consider he m y best friend.
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Which senten ce sounds better? The first one, of course. So the trick is, if you can use
him , you should use w hom .
Exe rcis e 4
Com plete the following sentences by adding w ho or w hom . Copy the com pleted
sentence onto your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ hit the hom e run?
I rem em ber _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ won the Academ y Award for Best Actor last year.
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the letter addressed?
I have no idea _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ left the iron on, but I am going to find out.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ are you going to recomm end for the internship?
With _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ are you going to Hawaii?
No one knew _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the fam ous actor was.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in the office knows how to fix the copy m achine?
From _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ did you get the concert tickets?
No one knew _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ate the cake m om was saving.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Pronouns and their antecedents need to agree in num ber and person.
Most indefinite pronouns are singular.
Collective nouns are usually singular.
Pronouns can function as subjects or objects.
Subject pronouns are never used as objects, and object pronouns are never used as
subjects.
W ho serves as a subject of a verb.
W hom serves as an object of a sentence or the object of a preposition.
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W ritin g Applicatio n
Write about what m akes an ideal m arriage or long-term relationship. Provide specific
details to back up your assertions. After you have written a few paragraphs, go back and
proofread your paper for correct pronoun usage.
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1.6 Ad je ctive s an d Ad ve rb s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify adjectives and adverbs.
2. Use adjectives and adverbs correctly.
Adjectives and adverbs are descriptive words that bring your writing to life.
Ad je ctive s an d Ad ve rbs
An adjective is a word that describes a noun or a pronoun. It often answers questions
such as w hich one, w hat kind, or how m any ?
1. The green sweater belongs to Iris.
2. She looks beautiful.
o
o
In sentence 1, the adjective green describes the noun sw eater.
In sentence 2, the adjective beautiful describes the pronoun she.
An adverb is a word that describes a verb, an adjective, or another adverb.
Adverbs frequently end in -ly . They answer questions such as how , to w hat
extent, w hy , w hen, and w here.
3. Bertrand sings horribly .
4. My sociology instructor is extrem ely wise.
5. He threw the ball very accurately.
o
o
o
In sentence 3, horribly describes the verb sings. How does Bertrand sing? He
sings horribly .
In sentence 4, extrem ely describes the adjective w ise. How w ise is the instructor?
Extrem ely wise.
In sentence 5, very describes the adverb accurately . How accurately did he
throw the ball? Very accurately.
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Exe rcis e 1
Com plete the following sentences by adding the correct adjective or adverb from the list
in the previous section. Identify the word as an adjective or an adverb (Adj, Adv).
1. Frederick _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ choked on the piece of chicken when he saw Margaret walk
through the door.
2. His _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ eyes looked at everyone and everything as if they were specim ens in a
biology lab.
3. Despite her pessim istic views on life, Lauren believes that m ost people have _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
hearts.
4. Although Stefan took the criticism _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , he rem ained calm .
5. The child developed a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ im agination because he read a lot of books.
6. Madeleine spoke _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ while she was visiting her grandm other in the hospital.
7. Hector’s most _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ possession was his father’s bass guitar from the 1970 s.
8. My definition of a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ afternoon is walking to the park on a beautiful day,
spreading out m y blanket, and losing m yself in a good book.
9. She _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ eyed her new coworker and wondered if he was single.
10 . At the party, Denise _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ devoured two pieces of pepperoni pizza and a several
slices of ripe waterm elon.
Co m p a rative ve rs u s Su p e rlative
Com parative adjectives and adverbs are used to com pare two people or things.
1. J orge is thin.
2. Steven is thinner than J orge.
o
o
Sentence 1 describes J orge with the adjective thin.
Sentence 2 com pares J orge to Steven, stating that Steven is thinner. So thinner is
the com parative form of thin.
Form com paratives in one of the following two ways:
1. If the adjective or adverb is a one syllable word, add -er to it to form the com parative.
For exam ple, big, fast, and short would becom e bigger, faster, and shorter in the
comparative form .
2. If the adjective or adverb is a word of two or m ore syllables, place the word m ore in front
of it to form the comparative. For exam ple, happily , com fortable, and jealous would
becom e m ore happily , m ore com fortable, and m ore jealous in the com parative.
Superlative adjectives and adverbs are used to com pare m ore than two people or two
things.
1. J ackie is the loudest cheerleader on the squad.
2. Kenyatta was voted the m ost confident student by her graduating class.
o
o
Sentence 1 shows that J ackie is not just louder than one other person, but she is
the loudest of all the cheerleaders on the squad.
Sentence 2 shows that Kenyatta was voted the m ost confident student of all the
students in her class.
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Form superlatives in one of the following two ways:
1. If the adjective or adverb is a one-syllable word, add -est to form the superlative. For
exam ple, big, fast, and short would becom e biggest, fastest, and shortest in the
superlative form .
2. If the adjective or adverb is a word of two or m ore syllables, place the word m ost in front
of it. For exam ple, happily , com fortable, and jealous would becom e m ost happily , m ost
com fortable, and m ost jealous in the superlative form.
Tip
Rem em ber the following exception: If the word has two syllables and ends in -y , change
the -y to an -i and add -est. For exam ple, happy would change to happiest in the
superlative form ; healthy would change to healthiest.
Exe rcis e 2
Edit the following paragraph by correcting the errors in com parative and superlative
adjectives.
Our argum ent started on the m ost sunny afternoon that I have ever experienced. Max
and I were sitting on m y front stoop when I started it. I told him that m y dog, J acko, was
m ore sm art than his dog, Merlin. I could not help m yself. Merlin never cam e when he
was called, and he chased his tail an d barked at rocks. I told Max that Merlin was the
m ost dum best dog on the block. I guess I was angrier about a bad grade that I received,
so I decided to pick on poor little Merlin. Even though Max insulted J acko too, I felt I
had been m ore m ean. The next day I apologized to Max and brought Merlin som e of
J acko’s treats. When Merlin placed his paw on m y knee and licked m y hand, I was the
m ost sorry person on the block.
Collaboration
Share and com pare your answers with a classm ate.
Irre gu lar W o rd s : Go o d , W e ll, Ba d , an d Ba d ly
Good, w ell, bad, and badly are often used incorrectly. Study the following chart to learn
the correct usage of these words and their com parative and superlative form s.
Co m p arative Su pe rlative
Ad je ctive good better
best
Ad ve rb
best
well better
Ad je ctive bad worse
worst
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Co m p arative Su pe rlative
Ad ve rb
badlyworse
worst
Go o d ve rs u s W e ll
Good is always an adjective—that is, a word that describes a noun or a pronoun. The
second senten ce is correct because w ell is an adverb that tells how som ething is done.
In co rre ct: Cecilia felt that she had never done so good on a test.
Co rre ct: Cecilia felt that she had n ever done so w ell on a test.
W ell is always an adverb that describes a verb, adverb, or adjective. The second sentence
is correct because good is an adjective that describes the noun score.
In co rre ct: Cecilia’s team received a w ell score.
Co rre ct: Cecilia’s team received a good score.
Ba d ve rs u s Ba d ly
Bad is always an adjective. The second sentence is correct because badly is an adverb
that tells how the speaker did on the test.
In co rre ct: I did bad on m y accounting test because I didn’t study.
Co rre ct: I did badly on m y accounting test because I didn’t study.
Badly is always an adverb. The second sentence is correct because bad is an adjective
that describes the noun thunderstorm .
In co rre ct: The com ing thunderstorm looked badly .
Co rre ct: The com ing thunderstorm looked bad.
Be t t e r an d W o r s e
The following are exam ples of the use of better and w orse:
Tyra likes sprinting better than long distance running.
The traffic is w orse in Chicago than in Atlanta.
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Be s t an d W o r s t
The following are exam ples of the use of best and w orst:
Tyra sprints best of all the other com petitors.
Peter finished w orst of all the runners in the race.
Tip
Rem em ber better and w orse com pare two persons or things. Best and w orst com pare
three or m ore persons or things.
Exe rcis e 3
Write good, w ell, bad, or badly to com plete each sentence. Copy the com pleted sentence
onto your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
Donna always felt _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ if she did not see the sun in the morning.
The school board president gave a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ speech for once.
Although m y dog, Com et, is m ischievous, he always behaves _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ at the dog park.
I thought m y back injury was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ at first, but it turned out to be m inor.
Steve was shaking _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ from the extrem e cold.
Apple crisp is a very _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ dessert that can be m ade using whole grains instead of
white flour.
The m eeting with m y son’s m ath teacher went very _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
J uan has a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ appetite, especially when it com es to dessert.
Magritte thought the guests had a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ time at the party because most people left
early.
She _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ wanted to win the writing contest prize, which included a trip to New
York.
Exe rcis e 4
Write the correct com parative or superlative form of the word in parentheses. Copy the
com pleted sentence onto your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
This research paper is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (good) than my last one.
Tanaya likes country m usic _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (well) of all.
My m otorcycle rides _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (bad) than it did last sum m er.
That is the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (bad) joke m y father ever told.
The hockey team played _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (badly) than it did last season.
Tracey plays guitar _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (well) than she plays the piano.
It will go down as one of the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (bad) movies I have ever seen.
The deforestation in the Am azon is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (bad) than it was last year.
Movie ticket sales are _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (good) this year than last.
My husband says m ystery novels are the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (good) types of books.
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W ritin g at W o rk
The irregular words good, w ell, bad, and badly are often m isused along with their
com parative and superlative form s better, best, w orse, and w orst. You m ay not hear the
difference between w orse and w orst, and therefore type it incorrectly. In a form al or
business-like tone, use each of these words to write eight separate sentences. Assum e
these senten ces will be seen and judged by your current or future em ployer.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
Adjectives describe a noun or a pronoun.
Adverbs describe a verb, adjective, or another adverb.
Most adverbs are form ed by adding -ly to an adjective.
Comparative adjectives and adverbs compare two persons or things.
Superlative adjectives or adverbs compare m ore than two persons or things.
The adjectives good and bad and the adverbs w ell and badly are unique in their
comparative and superlative form s and require special attention.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Using the exercises as a guide, write your own ten-sentence quiz for your classm ate(s)
using the concepts covered in this section. Try to include two questions from each
subsection in your quiz. Exchange papers and see whether you can get a perfect score.
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1.7 Mis p la ce d an d D an glin g Mo d ifie rs
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify m odifiers.
2. Learn how to correct m isplaced and dangling m odifiers.
A m odifier is a word, phrase, or clause that clarifies or describes another word, phrase,
or clause. Som etim es writers use m odifiers incorrectly, leading to strange and
unintentionally hum orous sentences. The two com m on types of m odifier errors are
called m isplaced m odifiers and dangling m odifiers. If either of these errors occurs,
readers can no longer read sm oothly. Instead, they becom e stum ped trying to figure out
w hat the writer m eant to say. A writer’s goal m ust always be to com m unicate clearly and
to avoid distracting the reader with strange sentences or awkward sentence
constructions. The good news is that these errors can be easily overcom e.
Mis p lace d Mo d ifie rs
A m isplaced m odifier is a m odifier that is placed too far from the word or words it
m odifies. Misplaced m odifiers m ake the sentence awkward and som etim es
unintentionally hum orous.
In co rre ct: She wore a bicycle helm et on her head that w as too large.
Co rre ct: She wore a bicycle helm et that w as too large on her head.
•
Notice in the incorrect sentence it sounds as if her head was too large! Of course, the
writer is referring to the helm et, not to the person’s head. The corrected version of the
sentence clarifies the writer’s m eaning.
Look at the following two exam ples:
In co rre ct: They bought a kitten for m y brother they call Shadow .
Co rre ct: They bought a kitten they call Shadow for m y brother.
•
In the incorrect sentence, it seem s that the brother’s nam e is Shadow . That’s because the
m odifier is too far from the word it m odifies, which is kitten.
In co rre ct: The patient was referred to the physician w ith stom ach pains.
Co rre ct: The patient w ith stom ach pains was referred to the physician.
•
The incorrect sentence reads as if it is the physician who has stom ach pains! What the
writer m eans is that the patient has stom ach pains.
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Tip
Sim ple m odifiers like only , alm ost, just, nearly , and barely often get used incorrectly
because writers often stick them in the wrong place.
Co n fu s in g: Tyler alm ost found fifty cents under the sofa cushions.
Re p a ire d : Tyler found alm ost fifty cents under the sofa cushions.
•
How do you alm ost find som ething? Either you find it or you do not. The repaired
sentence is m uch clearer.
Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite the following sentences to correct the m isplaced
m odifiers.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
The young lady was walking the dog on the telephone.
I heard that there was a robbery on the evening news.
Uncle Louie bought a running stroller for the baby that he called “Speed Racer.”
Rolling down the m ountain, the explorer stopped the boulder with his powerful foot.
We are looking for a babysitter for our precious six-year-old who doesn’t drink or sm oke
and owns a car.
The teacher served cookies to the children wrapped in alum inum foil.
The m ysterious wom an walked toward the car holding an um brella.
We returned the wine to the waiter that was sour.
Charlie spotted a stray puppy driving hom e from work.
I ate nothing but a cold bowl of noodles for dinner.
D an glin g Mo d ifie rs
A dangling m odifier is a word, phrase, or clause that describes som ething that has been
left out of the sentence. When there is nothing that the word, phrase, or clause can
m odify, the m odifier is said to dangle.
In co rre ct:Riding in the sports car, the world whizzed by rapidly.
Co rre ct: As J ane was riding in the sports car, the world whizzed by rapidly.
•
In the incorrect sentence, riding in the sports car is dangling. The reader is left
wondering who is riding in the sports car. The writer m ust tell the reader!
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In co rre ct:W alking hom e at night, the trees looked like spooky aliens.
Co rre ct: As J onas was w alking hom e at night, the trees looked like spooky aliens.
Co rre ct: The trees looked like spooky aliens as J onas was w alking hom e at night.
•
In the incorrect sentence w alking hom e at night is dangling. Who is walking hom e at
night? J onas. Note that there are two different ways the dangling modifier can be
corrected.
In co rre ct: To win the spelling bee, Luis and Gerard should join our team .
Co rre ct: If we want to win the spelling bee this year, Luis and Gerard should join our
team .
•
In the incorrect sentence, to w in the spelling bee is dangling. Who wants to win the
spelling bee? We do!
Tip
The following three steps will help you quickly spot a dangling m odifier:
1. Look for an -ing m odifier at the beginning of your sentence or another m odifying
phrase:
Painting for three hours at night, the kitchen was finally finished by Maggie.
(Painting is the -ing m odifier.)
2. Underline the first noun that follows it:
Painting for three hours at night, the kitchen was finally finished by Maggie.
3. Make sure the m odifier and noun go together logically. If they do not, it is very
likely you have a dangling m odifier.
After identifying the dangling m odifier, rewrite the sentence.
Painting for three hours at night, Maggie fin ally finished the kitchen.
Exe rcis e 2
Rewrite the following the senten ces onto your own sheet of paper to correct the dangling
m odifiers.
1. Bent over backward, the posture was very challenging.
2. Making discoveries about new creatures, this is an interesting tim e to be a biologist.
3. Walking in the dark, the picture fell off the wall.
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4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
Playing a guitar in the bedroom, the cat was seen under the bed.
Packing for a trip, a cockroach scurried down the hallway.
While looking in the m irror, the towel swayed in the breeze.
While driving to the veterinarian’s office, the dog nervously whined.
The priceless painting drew large crowds when walking into the m useum.
Piled up next to the bookshelf, I chose a rom ance novel.
Chewing furiously, the gum fell out of m y m outh.
Exe rcis e 3
Rewrite the following paragraph correcting all the m isplaced and dangling m odifiers.
I bought a fresh loaf of bread for m y sandwich shopping in the grocery store. Wanting to
m ake a delicious sandwich, the m ayonnaise was thickly spread. Placing the cold cuts on
the bread, the lettuce was placed on top. I cut the sandwich in half with a knife turning
on the radio. Biting into the sandwich, m y favorite song blared loudly in m y ears.
Hum m ing and chewing, m y sandwich went down sm oothly. Sm iling, m y san dwich will
be m ade again, but next tim e I will add cheese.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Misplaced and dangling m odifiers m ake sentences difficult to understand.
Misplaced and dangling m odifiers distract the reader.
There are several effective ways to identify and correct misplaced and dangling
m odifiers.
W ritin g Applicatio n
See how creative and hum orous you can get by writing ten sentences with m isplaced and
dangling m odifiers. This is a deceptively sim ple task, but rise to the challenge. Your
writing will be stronger for it. Exchange papers with a classm ate, and rewrite your
classm ate’s sentences to correct any m isplaced m odifiers.
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1.8 W ritin g B as ics : En d -o f-Ch a p te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
Exe rcis e s
1. On your own sheet of paper, identify each sentence as a fragm ent, a run-on, or
correct (no error). Then rewrite the paragraph by correcting the sentence
fragm ents and run-ons.
My favorite book is Brave N ew W orld by Aldous Huxley, he was born in 18 94
and died in 1963 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . Written in 1931 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . A futuristic society
where hum ans are born out of test tubes and kept in rigid social classes
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . This m ay not seem like a hum orous prem ise for a novel, but Huxley
uses satire, which is a type of hum or that is used to m ake a serious point
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . The hum ans in Brave N ew W orld learn through sleep teaching,
Huxley calls this “hypnopedia” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . Everyone is kept “happy” in the brave
new world by taking a pill called som a, there is one character nam ed J ohn the
Savage who does not take som a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . because he com es from a different
part of the world where there is no technology, and he believes in natural ways of
living _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . It turns out that J ohn has a big problem with the brave new
world and how people live there _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . Will he be able to survive living
there, well you will have to read the novel to find out _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . Brave N ew
W orld is considered a classic in English literature, it is one of the best novels I
have ever read _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
2. Each sentence contain s an error in subject-verb agreem ent, irregular verb form ,
or consistent verb tense. Identify the type of error. Then, on your own sheet of
paper, rewrite the sentence correctly.
1. Maria an d Ty m eets m e at the com m unity center for cooking classes on
Tuesdays.
___________________________________________________
_____________
2. J ohn’s ability to laugh at alm ost anything am aze m e.
___________________________________________________
_____________
3. Sam antha and I were walking near the lake when the large, colorful bird
appears.
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___________________________________________________
_____________
4. I builded m y own telescope using m aterials I bought at the hardware store.
___________________________________________________
_____________
5. My m other freezed the rem ain ing tom atoes from her garden so that she
could use them during the winter.
___________________________________________________
_____________
6. Bernard asked the stranger sitting next to him for the tim e, and she says it
was past m idnight.
___________________________________________________
_____________
7. My m other and brother wears glasses, but m y father and sister do not.
___________________________________________________
_____________
8. We held our noses as the skunk runs away.
___________________________________________________
_____________
9. Neither Soren nor Andrew are excited about the early m orning swim m eet.
___________________________________________________
_____________
10 . My hands hurted at the thought of transcribing all those notes.
___________________________________________________
_____________
11. The police questioned the suspect for hours but she gives them no useful
inform ation.
___________________________________________________
_____________
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12. Terry takes short weekend trips because her job as a therapist was very
em otionally drain ing.
___________________________________________________
_____________
13. She criticize delicately, m aking sure not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
___________________________________________________
_____________
14. Davis winded the old clock and set it atop his nightstand.
___________________________________________________
_____________
15. Cherie losed four poker hands in a row before realizing that she was
playing against professionals.
___________________________________________________
_____________
16. J anis and J oan describes their trip to the Am azon in vivid detail.
___________________________________________________
_____________
17. You should decides for yourself whether or not to reduce the am ount of
processed foods in your diet.
___________________________________________________
_____________
18 . The oil rig exploded and spills m illions of gallons of oil into the ocean.
___________________________________________________
_____________
19. The handsom e vam pire appeared out of nowhere and sm iles at the sm itten
wom an.
___________________________________________________
_____________
20 . The batter swinged at the ball several tim es but never hit it.
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___________________________________________________
_____________
3. Correct the capitalization errors in the following fictional story. Copy the
corrected paragraph onto your own sheet of paper.
lance worthington signed a Recording Contract with Capitol records on june 15,
20 0 7. Despite selling two m illion copies of his Debut Album , nothing to lose,
lance lost quite a bit as his tax returns from the irs revealed. lance did not think it
was fair that the Record Com pany kept so m uch of his earnings, so he decided to
hire robert bergm an, a prom inent m usic Attorney with a Shark-like reputation.
bergm an represented lance all the way to the suprem e court, where lance won the
case against capitol records. Lan ce worthington was instrum ental in changing
intellectual property rights and long standing Record Com pan y practices. All
artists and m usicians can thank him for his brave stance against record
com panies. Lance subsequently form ed his own independent record label called
worthy records. worthy is now a successful Label based out of chicago, illinois,
and its Artists have appeared on well known shows such as The tonight show and
Saturday night live. Lance worthington is a m odel for success in the do-it-yourself
World that has becom e the Music Industry.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
4. Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct com parative or
superlative adjective or adverb. Then copy the com pleted sentence onto your own
sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
Denise has a (cheerful) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ outlook on life than her husband.
I don’t m ean to brag, but I think I am the (good) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ cook in m y fam ily.
Lydia is the (thoughtful) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ person I know.
Italy experienced the (bad) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ heat wave in its history last year.
My teacher, Ms. Beckett, is the (strange) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ person I know, and I like
that.
Dorian’s drawing skills are (good) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ this sem ester than last.
My handwriting is the (sloppy) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of all m y classm ates.
Melvin’s soccer team played (badly) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ than it did last season.
J osie’s pen writes (smooth) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ than m ine.
I felt (lucky) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ than m y sister because I got in to the college of my
choice.
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Ch apte r 2 Pu n ctu atio n
Suppose you are presenting a speech. If you speak too quickly, your audience will not be
able to understand what you are saying. It is im portant to stop and take a breath a few
tim es as you read from your notes. But how do you know where to pause, where to
change your voice, and where to stop? The answer is easy. You can use the punctuation
m arks you encounter as a guide for your pacing.
Punctuation m arks provide visual clues to readers, telling them how they should read
the sentence. Som e punctuation m arks tell you that you are reading a list of item s while
other m arks tell you that a senten ce contains two independent ideas. Punctuation m arks
tell you not only when a senten ce ends but also what kind of sentence you have read.
This chapter covers different types of punctuation and the m eanings they convey.
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2 .1 Co m m a s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of comm as.
2. Correctly use com m as in sentences.
One of the punctuation clues to reading you m ay encounter is the com m a. The com m a is
a punctuation m ark that indicates a pause in a sentence or a separation of things in a
list. Com m as can be used in a variety of ways. Look at som e of the following sentences to
see how you m ight use a com m a when writing a senten ce.
•
•
•
•
•
•
In tro d u cto ry w o rd : Personally, I think the practice is helpful.
Lis ts : The barn, the tool shed, and the back porch were destroyed by the wind.
Co o rd in atin g adje ctive s : He was tired, hungry, and late.
Co n ju n ctio n s in co m p o u n d s e n te n ce s : The bedroom door was closed, so the
children knew their mother was asleep.
In te rru ptin g w o rd s : I knew where it was hidden, of course, but I wanted them to find
it themselves.
D ate s , add re s s e s , gre e tin gs , an d le tte rs : The letter was postm arked Decem ber 8,
1945.
Co m m a s afte r an In tro d u cto ry W o rd o r P h ras e
You m ay notice a com m a that appears n ear the beginn ing of the sentence, usually after a
word or phrase. This com m a lets the reader know where the introductory word or
phrase ends and the m ain sentence begins.
Without spoiling the surprise, we need to tell her to save the date.
In this senten ce, w ithout spoiling the surprise is an introductory phrase, while w e need
to tell her to save the date is the m ain sentence. Notice how they are separated by a
com m a. When only an introductory word appears in the sentence, a com m a also follows
the introductory word.
Ironically, she already had plans for that day.
Exe rcis e 1
Look for the introductory word or phrase. On your own sheet of paper, copy the
sentence and add a com m a to correct the sentence.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Suddenly the dog ran into the house.
In the blink of an eye the kids were ready to go to the m ovies.
Confused he tried opening the box from the other end.
Every year we go camping in the woods.
Without a doubt green is m y favorite color.
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6. Hesitating she looked back at the directions before proceeding.
7. Fortunately the sleeping baby did not stir when the doorbell rang.
8. Believe it or not the criminal was able to rob the sam e bank three tim es.
Co m m a s in a Lis t o f Ite m s
When you want to list several nouns in a sentence, you separate each word with a
com m a. This allows the reader to pause after each item an d identify which words are
included in the grouping. When you list item s in a sentence, put a com m a after each
noun, then add the word and before the last item . However, you do not need to include a
com m a after the last item .
We’ll need to get flour, tom atoes, and cheese at the store.
The pizza will be topped with olives, peppers, and pineapple chunks.
Co m m a s an d Co o rd in atin g Ad je ctive s
You can use com m as to list both adjectives and nouns. A string of adjectives that
describe a noun are called coordinating adjectives. These adjectives com e before the
noun they m odify an d are separated by com m as. On e im portant thing to note, however,
is that unlike listing nouns, the word and does not always need to be before the last
adjective.
It was a bright, windy, clear day.
Our kite glowed red, yellow, and blue in the m orning sunlight.
Exe rcis e 2
On your own sheet of paper, use what you have learned so far about com m a use to add
com m as to the following sentences.
1. Monday Tuesday and Wednesday are all booked with m eetings.
2. It was a quiet uneventful unproductive day.
3. We’ll need to prepare statem ents for the Franks Todds and Sm iths before their portfolio
reviews next week.
4. Michael Nita and Desm ond finished their report last Tuesday.
5. With cold wet aching fingers he was able to secure the sails before the storm .
6. He wrote his nam e on the board in clear precise delicate letters.
Co m m a s be fo re Co n ju n ctio n s in Co m p o u n d Se n te n ce s
Com m as are som etim es used to separate two independent clauses. The com m a com es
after the first independent clause an d is followed by a conjunction, such as for, and, or
but. For a full list of conjunctions, see Chapter 1 "Writing Basics: What Makes a Good
Sentence?".
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He m issed class today, and he thinks he will be out tom orrow, too.
He says his fever is gone, but he is still very tired.
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, create a com pound senten ce by com bin ing the two
independent clauses with a com m a an d a coordinating conjunction.
1. The presentation was scheduled for Monday. The weather delayed the
presentation for four days.
_______________________________________________________
_________
2. He wanted a snack before bedtim e. He ate som e fruit.
_______________________________________________________
_________
3. The patient is in the next room . I can hardly hear anything.
_______________________________________________________
_________
4. We could go cam ping for vacation. We could go to the beach for vacation.
_______________________________________________________
_________
5. I want to get a better job. I am taking courses at night.
_______________________________________________________
_________
6. I cannot m ove forward on this project. I cannot afford to stop on this project.
_______________________________________________________
_________
7. Patrice wants to stop for lunch. We will take the next exit to look for a restaurant.
_______________________________________________________
_________
8 . I’ve got to get this paper done. I have class in ten m inutes.
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_______________________________________________________
_________
9. The weather was clear yesterday. We decided to go on a picnic.
_______________________________________________________
_________
10 . I have never dealt with this client before. I know Leonardo has worked with them .
Let’s ask Leonardo for his help.
_______________________________________________________
_________
Co m m a s be fo re a n d afte r In te rru p tin g W o rd s
In conversations, you m ight interrupt your train of thought by giving m ore details about
what you are talking about. In a sentence, you m ight interrupt your train of thought with
a word or phrase called interrupting words. Interrupting words can com e at the
beginning or m iddle of a senten ce. When the interrupting words appear at the beginning
of the sentence, a com m a appears after the word or phrase.
If you can believe it, people once thought the sun and planets orbited around Earth.
Luckily, som e people questioned that theory.
When interrupting words com e in the m iddle of a sentence, they are separated from the
rest of the sentence by com m as. You can determ ine where the com m as should go by
looking for the part of the senten ce that is not essential for the sentence to m ake sense.
An Italian astronom er, Galileo, proved that Earth orbited the sun.
We have known, for hundreds of years now, that the Earth and other planets exist in a
solar system .
Exe rcis e 4
On your own sheet of paper, copy the sentence and insert com m as to separate the
interrupting words from the rest of the sentence.
1.
2.
3.
4.
I asked m y neighbors the retired couple from Florida to bring in m y m ail.
Without a doubt his work has improved over the last few weeks.
Our professor Mr. Alam ut drilled the lessons into our heads.
The m eeting is at noon unfortunately which m eans I will be late for lunch.
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5. We cam e in tim e for the last part of dinner but m ost importantly we cam e in tim e for
dessert.
6. All of a sudden our network crashed and we lost our files.
7. Alex hand the wrench to m e before the pipe com es loose again.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Co m m a s in D a te s , Ad d re s s e s , an d th e Gre e tin gs an d Clo s in gs o f
Le tte rs
You also use com m as when you write the date, such as in cover letters and e-m ails.
Com m as are used when you write the date, when you include an address, and when you
greet som eone.
If you are writing out the full date, add a com m a after the day and before the year. You
do not need to add a com m a when you write the m onth an d day or when you write the
m onth and the year. If you need to continue the sentence after you add a date that
includes the day and year, add a com m a after the end of the date.
The letter is postm arked May 4, 20 0 1.
Her birthday is May 5.
He visited the country in J uly 20 0 9.
I registered for the conference on March 7, 20 10 , so we should get our tickets soon.
You also use com m as when you include addresses and locations. When you include an
address in a sentence, be sure to place a com m a after the street and after the city. Do not
place a com m a between the state and the zip code. Like a date, if you need to continue
the sentence after adding the address, sim ply add a com m a after the address.
We m oved to 4542 Boxcutter Lane, Hope, Missouri 70 832.
After m oving to Boston, Massachusetts, Eric used public transportation to get to work.
Greetings are also separated by com m as. When you write an e-m ail or a letter, you add a
com m a after the greeting word or the person’s nam e. You also need to include a com m a
after the closing, which is the word or phrase you put before your signature.
Hello,
I would like m ore inform ation about your job posting.
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Thank you,
Anita Al-Sayf
Dear Mrs. Al-Sayf,
Thank you for your letter. Please read the attached docum ent for details.
Sincerely,
J ack From ont
Exe rcis e 5
On your own sheet of paper, use what you have learned about using com m as to edit the
following letter.
March 27 20 10
Alexa Marché
14 Taylor Drive Apt. 6
New Castle Maine 90 342
Dear Mr. Tim m ons
Thank you for agreeing to m eet with m e. I am available on Monday the fifth. I can stop
by your office at any tim e. Is your address still 730 9 Marcourt Circle # 50 1? Please get
back to m e at your earliest convenience.
Thank you
Alexa
Exe rcis e 6
On your own sheet of paper, use what you have learned about com m a usage to edit the
following paragraphs.
1. My brother Nathaniel is a collector of m any rare unusual things. He has collected lunch
boxes lim ited edition books and hatpins at various points of his life. His current
collection of unusual bottles has over fifty pieces. Usually he sells one collection before
starting another.
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2. Our m eeting is scheduled for Thursday March 20 . In that tim e we need to gather all our
docum ents together. Alice is in charge of the tim etables and schedules. Tom is in charge
of updating the guidelines. I am in charge of the presentation. To prepare for this
m eeting please print out any e-m ails faxes or docum ents you have referred to when
writing your sample.
3. It was a cool crisp autumn day when the group set out. They needed to cover several
m iles before they m ade cam p so they walked at a brisk pace. The leader of the group
Garth kept checking his watch and their GPS location. Isabelle Raoul and Maggie took
turns carrying the equipm ent while Carrie took notes about the wildlife they saw. As a
result no one noticed the darkening sky until the first drops of rain splattered on their
faces.
4. Please have your report com plete and filed by April 15 20 10 . In your subm ission letter
please include your contact inform ation the position you are applying for and two people
we can contact as references. We will not be available for consultation after April 10 but
you m ay contact the office if you have any questions. Thank you HR Departm ent.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Punctuation m arks provide visual cues to readers to tell them how to read a sentence.
Punctuation m arks convey m eaning.
Com m as indicate a pause or a list in a sentence.
A com m a should be used after an introductory word to separate this word from the m ain
sentence.
A com m a com es after each noun in a list. The word and is added before the last noun,
which is not followed by a com m a.
A com m a com es after every coordinating adjective except for the last adjective.
Com m as can be used to separate the two independent clauses in com pound sentences as
long as a conjunction follows the com m a.
Com m as are used to separate interrupting words from the rest of the sentence.
When you write the date, you add a com m a between the day and the year. You also add a
com m a after the year if the sentence continues after the date.
When they are used in a sentence, addresses have com m as after the street address, and
the city. If a sentence continues after the address, a com m a com es after the zip code.
When you write a letter, you use com m as in your greeting at the beginning and in your
closing at the end of your letter.
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2 .2 Se m ico lo n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of sem icolons.
2. Properly use sem icolons in sentences.
Another punctuation m ark that you will encounter is the sem icolon (;). Like m ost
punctuation m arks, the sem icolon can be used in a variety of ways. The sem icolon
indicates a break in the flow of a sentence, but functions differently than a period or a
com m a. When you encounter a sem icolon while reading aloud, this represents a good
place to pause and take a breath.
Se m ico lo n s to Jo in Tw o In d e p e n d e n t Clau s e s
Use a sem icolon to com bine two closely related in dependent clauses. Relying on a
period to separate the related clauses into two shorter sentences could lead to choppy
writing. Using a com m a would create an awkward run-on senten ce.
Co rre ct: Be sure to wear clean, well-pressed clothes to the interview; appearances are
im portant.
Ch o p p y: Be sure to wear clean, well-pressed clothes to the interview. Appearances are
im portant.
In co rre ct: Be sure to wear clean, well-pressed clothes to the interview, appearances
are im portant.
In this case, writing the indepen dent clauses as two sentences separated by a period is
correct. However, usin g a sem icolon to com bine the clauses can m ake your writing m ore
interesting by creating a variety of senten ce lengths and structures while preserving the
flow of ideas.
Se m ico lo n s to Jo in Ite m s in a Lis t
You can also use a sem icolon to join item s in a list when the item s in the list already
require com m as. Sem icolons help the reader distinguish between item s in the list.
Co rre ct: The color com binations we can choose from are black, white, and grey; green,
brown, and black; or red, green, an d brown.
In co rre ct: The color com binations we can choose from are black, white, and grey,
green, brown, and black, or red, green, and brown.
By using sem icolons in this senten ce, the reader can easily distinguish between the three
sets of colors.
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Tip
Use sem icolons to join two m ain clauses. Do not use sem icolons with coordinating
conjunctions such as and, or, and but.
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, correct the following sentences by addin g sem icolons. If the
sentence is correct as it is, write OK.
1. I did not notice that you were in the office I was behind the front desk all day.
2. Do you want turkey, spinach, and cheese roast beef, lettuce, and cheese or ham , tom ato,
and cheese?
3. Please close the blinds there is a glare on the screen.
4. Unbelievably, no one was hurt in the accident.
5. I cannot decide if I want m y room to be green, brown, and purple green, black, and
brown or green, brown, and dark red.
6. Let’s go for a walk the air is so refreshing.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Use a sem icolon to join two independent clauses.
Use a sem icolon to separate item s in a list when those item s already require a com m a.
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2 .3 Co lo n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of colons.
2. Properly use colons in sentences.
The colon (:) is another punctuation m ark used to indicate a full stop. Use a colon to
introduce lists, quotes, exam ples, an d explanations. You can also use a colon after the
greeting in busin ess letters and m em os.
Dear Hiring Manager:
To: Hum an Resources
From : Deanna Dean
Co lo n s to In tro d u ce a Lis t
Use a colon to introduce a list of item s. Introduce the list with an independent clause.
The team will tour three states: New York, Pennsylvania, and Maryland.
I have to take four classes this sem ester: Com position, Statistics, Ethics, an d Italian.
Co lo n s to In tro d u ce a Qu o te
You can use a colon to introduce a quote.
Mark Twain said it best: “When in doubt, tell the truth.”
If a quote is longer than forty words, skip a line after the colon and indent the left
m argin of the quote five spaces. Because quotations longer than forty words use line
spacing an d indentation to indicate a quote, quotation m arks are not necessary.
My father always loved Mark Twain’s words:
There are basically two types of people. People who accom plish thin gs, and people who
claim to have accom plished things. The first group is less crowded.
Tip
Long quotations, which are forty words or m ore, are called block quotations. Block
quotations frequently appear in longer essays and research papers. For m ore
inform ation about block quotations, see Chapter 10 "Writing Preparation".
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Co lo n s to In tro d u ce Exam p le s o r Exp lan atio n s
Use a colon to introduce an exam ple or to further explain an idea presented in the first
part of a sentence. The first part of the sentence m ust always be an independent clause;
that is, it m ust stand alone as a com plete thought with a subject and verb. Do not use a
colon after phrases like such as or for exam ple.
Co rre ct: Our com pany offers m any publishing services: writing, editing, and reviewing.
In co rre ct: Our com pany offers m any publishing services, such as: writing, editing, an d
reviewing.
Tip
Capitalize the first letter following a colon for a proper noun, the beginning of a quote,
or the first letter of another independent clause. Do NOT capitalize if the inform ation
following the colon is n ot a com plete senten ce.
Pro p e r n o u n : We visited three countries: Belize, Honduras, and El Salvador.
Be gin n in g o f a qu o te : My m other loved this line from Ham let: “To thine own self be
true.”
Tw o in d e p e n d e n t clau s e s : There are drawbacks to m odern technology: My brother’s
cell phone died and he lost a lot of phone numbers.
In co rre ct: The recipe is sim ple: Tom ato, basil, and avocado.
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, correct the following sentences by addin g sem icolons or
colons where needed. If the sentence does not need a sem icolon or colon, write OK.
1. Don’t give up you never know what tom orrow brings.
_______________________________________________________
_________
2. Our records show that the patient was adm itted on March 9, 20 10 J anuary 13,
20 10 and Novem ber 16, 20 0 9.
_______________________________________________________
_________
3. Allow m e to introduce m yself I am the greatest ice-carver in the world.
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_______________________________________________________
_________
4. Where I com e from there are three ways to get to the grocery store by car, by bus,
and by foot.
_______________________________________________________
_________
5. Listen closely you will want to rem em ber this speech.
_______________________________________________________
_________
6. I have lived in Sedona, Arizona Baltim ore, Maryland and Knoxville, Tennessee.
_______________________________________________________
_________
7. The boss’s m essage was clear Lateness would not be tolerated.
_______________________________________________________
_________
8 . Next sem ester, we will read som e m ore contem porary authors, such as Vonnegut,
Miller, and Orwell.
_______________________________________________________
_________
9. My little sister said what we were all thinking “We should have stayed hom e.”
_______________________________________________________
_________
10 . Trust m e I have done this before.
_______________________________________________________
_________
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Use a colon to introduce a list, quote, or exam ple.
Use a colon after a greeting in business letters and m em os.
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2 .4 Qu o te s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of quotes.
2. Correctly use quotes in sentences.
Quotation m arks (“ ”) set off a group of words from the rest of the text. Use quotation
m arks to indicate direct quotations of another person’s words or to indicate a title.
Quotation m arks always appear in pairs.
D ire ct Qu o tatio n s
A direct quotation is an exact account of what som eone said or wrote. To include a direct
quotation in your writing, enclose the words in quotation m arks. An indirect quotation
is a restatem ent of what som eone said or wrote. An in direct quotation does not use the
person’s exact words. You do not need to use quotation m arks for indirect quotations.
D ire ct qu o tatio n : Carly said, “I’m not ever going back there again.”
In d ire ct qu o tatio n : Carly said that she would never go back there.
W ritin g at W o rk
Most word processsing software is designed to catch errors in gram m ar, spelling, an d
punctuation. While this can be a useful tool, it is better to be well acquainted with the
rules of punctuation than to leave the thinking to the com puter. Properly punctuated
writing will convey your m eaning clearly. Consider the subtle shifts in m eaning in the
following sentences:
•
•
The client said he thought our m anuscript was garbage.
The client said, “He thought our m anuscript was garbage.”
The first sentence reads as an indirect quote in which the client does not like the
m anuscript. But did he actually use the word “garbage”? (This would be alarm ing!) Or
has the speaker paraphrased (and exaggerated) the client’s words?
The second sentence reads as a direct quote from the client. But who is “he” in this
sentence? Is it a third party?
Word processing software would not catch this because the sentences are not
gram m atically incorrect. However, the m eanings of the sentences are not the sam e.
Understanding punctuation will help you write what you m ean, and in this case, could
save a lot of confusion around the office!
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Pu n ctu atin g D ire ct Qu o tatio n s
Quotation m arks show readers another person’s exact words. Often, you will want to
identify who is speakin g. You can do this at the beginning, m iddle, or end of the quote.
Notice the use of com m as an d capitalized words.
Be gin n in g: Madison said, “Let’s stop at the farm ers m arket to buy som e fresh
vegetables for dinner.”
Mid d le : “Let’s stop at the farm ers m arket,” Madison said, “to buy som e fresh
vegetables for dinner.”
En d : “Let’s stop at the farm ers m arket to buy som e fresh vegetables for dinner,”
Madison said.
Sp e ake r n o t id e n tifie d : “Let’s stop at the farm ers m arket to buy som e fresh
vegetables for dinner.”
Always capitalize the first letter of a quote even if it is not the beginning of the sentence.
When using identifyin g words in the m iddle of the quote, the beginning of the secon d
part of the quote does not need to be capitalized.
Use com m as between identifying words and quotes. Quotation m arks m ust be placed
after com m as and periods. Place quotation m arks after question m arks and exclam ation
points only if the question or exclam ation is part of the quoted text.
Qu e s tio n is p art o f qu o te d te xt: The new em ployee asked, “When is lunch?”
Qu e s tio n is n o t p art o f qu o te d te xt: Did you hear her say you were “the next
Picasso”?
Excla m a tio n is p art o f qu o te d te xt: My supervisor beam ed, “Thanks for all of your
hard work!”
Excla m a tio n is n o t p art o f qu o te d te xt: He said I “single-handedly saved the
com pany thousands of dollars”!
Qu o tatio n s w ith in Qu o tatio n s
Use single quotation m arks (‘ ’) to show a quotation within in a quotation.
Theresa said, “I wanted to take m y dog to the festival, but the m an at the gate said, ‘No
dogs allowed.’”
“When you say, ‘I can’t help it,’ what exactly does that m ean?”
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“The instructions say, ‘Tighten the screws one at a tim e.’”
Title s
Use quotation m arks around titles of short works of writing, such as essays, songs,
poem s, short stories, and chapters in books. Usually, titles of longer works, such as
books, m agazines, album s, newspapers, and novels, are italicized.
“Annabelle Lee” is one of m y favorite rom antic poem s.
The N ew York Tim es has been in publication since 1851.
W ritin g at W o rk
In m any busin esses, the difference between exact wording and a paraphrase is
extrem ely im portant. For legal purposes, or for the purposes of doing a job correctly, it
can be im portant to know exactly what the client, custom er, or supervisor said.
Som etim es, im portant details can be lost when instructions are paraphrased. Use quotes
to indicate exact words where needed, an d let your coworkers know the source of the
quotation (client, custom er, peer, etc.).
Exe rcis e 1
Copy the following sentences onto your own sheet of paper, and correct them by adding
quotation m arks where necessary. If the sentence does not need any quotation m arks,
write OK.
1. Yasm in said, I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out to eat.
_______________________________________________________
_________
2. Where should we go? said Russell.
_______________________________________________________
_________
3. Yasm in said it didn’t m atter to her.
_______________________________________________________
_________
4. I know, said Russell, let’s go to the Two Roads J uice Bar.
_______________________________________________________
_________
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5. Perfect! said Yasm in.
_______________________________________________________
_________
6. Did you know that the nam e of the J uice Bar is a referen ce to a poem ? asked
Russell.
_______________________________________________________
_________
7. I didn’t! exclaim ed Yasm in. Which poem ?
_______________________________________________________
_________
8 . The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost Russell explained.
_______________________________________________________
_________
9. Oh! said Yasm in, Is that the one that starts with the line, Two roads diverged in a
yellow wood?
_______________________________________________________
_________
10 . That’s the one said Russell.
_______________________________________________________
_________
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Use quotation m arks to enclose direct quotes and titles of short works.
Use single quotation m arks to enclose a quote within a quote.
Do not use any quotation m arks for indirect quotations.
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2 .5 Ap o s tro p h e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of apostrophes.
2. Correctly use apostrophes in sentences.
An apostrophe (’) is a punctuation m ark that is used with a noun to show possession or
to indicate where a letter has been left out to form a contraction.
Po s s e s s io n
An apostrophe and the letter s indicate who or what owns som ething. To show
possession with a singular noun, add ’s.
J en’s dan ce routine m esm erized everyone in the room .
The dog’s leash is hanging on the hook beside the door.
J ess’s sister is also com ing to the party.
Notice that singular nouns that end in s still take the apostrophe s (’s) ending to show
possession.
To show possession with a plural noun that ends in s, just add an apostrophe (’). If the
plural noun does not end in s, add an apostrophe an d an s (’s).
Plu ral n o u n th a t e n d s in s: The drum m ers’ sticks all m oved in the sam e rhythm , like
a m achine.
Plu ral n o u n th a t d o e s n o t e n d in s: The people’s votes clearly showed that no one
supported the m anagem ent decision.
Co n tra ctio n s
A contraction is a word that is form ed by com bining two words. In a contraction, an
apostrophe shows where one or m ore letters have been left out. Contractions are
com m only used in inform al writing but not in form al writing.
I do not like ice cream .
I d o n ’t like ice cream .
Notice how the words do and not have been com bined to form the contraction don’t. The
apostrophe shows where the o in not has been left out.
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We will see you later.
W e ’ll see you later.
Look at the chart for som e exam ples of com m only used contractions.
aren’t are not
can’t
cannot
doesn’t does not
don’t do not
isn’t
is not
he’ll
he will
I’ll
I will
she’ll she will
they’ll they will
you’ll you will
it’s
it is, it has
let’s
let us
she’s
she is, she has
there’s there is, there has
who’s who is, who has
Tip
Be careful not to confuse it’s with its. It’s is a contraction of the words it and is. Its is a
possessive pronoun.
It’s cold and rainy outside. (It is cold and rainy outside.)
The cat was chasing its tail. (Shows that the tail belongs to the cat.)
When in doubt, substitute the words it is in a sentence. If sentence still m akes sense, use
the contraction it’s.
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Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, correct the following sentences by adding apostrophes. If
the sentence is correct as it is, write OK.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
“What a beautiful child! She has her mothers eyes.”
My brothers wife is one of m y best friends.
I couldnt believe it when I found out that I got the job!
My supervisors inform ed m e that I wouldnt be able to take the days off.
Each of the students responses were unique.
Wont you please join m e for dinner tonight?
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Use apostrophes to show possession. Add ’s to singular nouns and plural nouns that do
not end in s. Add ’ to plural nouns that end in s.
Use apostrophes in contractions to show where a letter or letters have been left out.
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2 .6 P are n th e s e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of parentheses.
2. Properly use parentheses in sentences.
Parentheses ( ) are punctuation m arks that are always used in pairs and contain
m aterial that is secondary to the m eaning of a sentence. Parentheses m ust never contain
the subject or verb of a sentence. A senten ce should m ake sense if you delete any text
within parentheses and the parentheses.
Attack of the Killer Potatoes has to be the worst m ovie I have seen ( so far) .
Your spinach an d garlic salad is one of the m ost delicious ( and nutritious) foods I have
ever tasted!
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, clarify the following sentences by adding parentheses. If the
sentence is clear as it is, write OK.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Are you going to the seminar this weekend I am ?
I recomm end that you try the sushi bar unless you don’t like sushi.
I was able to solve the puzzle after taking a few mom ents to think about it.
Please com plete the questionnaire at the end of this letter.
Has anyone besides m e read the assignm ent?
Please be sure to circle not underline the correct answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Parentheses enclose inform ation that is secondary to the m eaning of a sentence.
Parentheses are always used in pairs.
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2 .7 D as h e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of dashes.
2. Correctly use dashes in sentences.
A dash (—) is a punctuation m ark used to set off inform ation in a sentence for em phasis.
You can enclose text between two dashes, or use just one dash. To create a dash in
Microsoft Word, type two hyphens together. Do not put a space between dashes and
text.
Arrive to the interview early—but not too early.
Any of the suits—except for the purple one—should be fine to wear.
Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, clarify the following sentences by adding dashes. If the
sentence is clear as it is, write OK.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Which hairstyle do you prefer short or long?
I don’t know I hadn’t even thought about that.
Guess what I got the job!
I will be happy to work over the weekend if I can have Monday off.
You have all the qualities that we are looking for in a candidate intelligence, dedication,
and a strong work ethic.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Dashes indicate a pause in text.
Dashes set off inform ation in a sentence to show em phasis.
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2 .8 H yp h e n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the uses of hyphens.
2. Properly use hyphens in sentences.
A hyphen (-) looks sim ilar to a dash but is shorter and used in different ways.
H yp h e n s be tw e e n Tw o Ad je ctive s Th at W o rk as On e
Use a hyphen to com bine words that work together to form a single description.
The fifty-five-year-old athlete was just as qualified for the m arathon as his younger
opponents.
My doctor recom m ended against taking the m edication, since it can be habit-form ing.
My study group focused on preparing for the m idyear review.
H yp h e n s W h e n a W o rd Bre a ks at th e En d o f a Lin e
Use a hyphen to divide a word across two lines of text. You m ay notice that m ost wordprocessing program s will do this for you. If you have to m anually insert a hyphen, place
the hyphen between two syllables. If you are unsure of where to place the hyphen,
consult a dictionary or m ove the entire word to the next line.
My supervisor was concerned that the team m eeting would conflict with the client m eeting.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Hyphens join words that work as one adjective.
Hyphens break words across two lines of text.
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2 .9 Pu n ctu atio n : En d -o f-Ch ap te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in this chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
Exe rcis e s
1. Each sentence contains a punctuation error. On your own sheet of paper, correct
each sentence by addin g the correct punctuation. The headings will let you know
which type of punctuation m istakes to look for. If the sentence does not need
corrections, write OK.
Co m m as
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
The wedding will be J uly 13 20 12.
The date by the way is the anniversary of the day that they m et.
The groom the bride and their parents are all planning the event.
Actually all of their friends and relatives are involved in the planning.
The bride is a baker so she will be m aking the wedding cake herself.
The photography the catering and the m usic will all be friends.
Se m ico lo n s
7. Som e people spend a lot of m oney hiring people for wedding services they are
lucky to have such talented friends.
8. The flowers will be either roses, daisies, and snapdragons orchids, tulips, and
irises or peonies and lilies.
Co lo n s
9. There will be three colors for the wedding: white, black, and gold.
10 . They’ve finally narrowed down the dinner choices salm on, steak, and a vegan
stew.
11. Their wedding invitations contained the following quote from the Rom an poet
Ovid If you want to be loved, be lovable.
Qu o te s
12. The invitations said that the wedding would be “outdoor casual.”
13. “What exactly does ‘outdoor casual’ m ean?” I asked the bride.
14. She told m e to dress comfortably and wear shoes that do not sink into the
ground.
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Ap o s tro p h e s
15. On the day of the wedding, were going to rent a lim o.
16. My brothers wife will m ake the arrangem ents.
17. Shes a great party organizer.
Pa re n th e s e s
18. On the day of the wedding, the bride looked more beautiful than ever and I’ve
known her for fifteen years.
19. All the details were perfect in m y opinion.
Dashes
20 . Everyone danced at the wedding except m y m other.
21. It was to be expected she just had hip surgery.
H yp h e n s
22. The groom danced with his new mother in law.
23. It was a spectacular, fun filled day for everyone.
2. Each sentence contain s a punctuation error. On your own sheet of paper, correct
each sentence by adding com m as, sem icolons, colons, apostrophes, parentheses,
hyphens, and dashes as needed.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
My m others garden is full of beautiful flowers.
She has carefully planted several species of roses peonies and irises.
She is especially proud of her thirty year old J apanese m aple tree.
I am especially proud of the sunflowers I planted them !
You should see the birds that are attracted to the garden hum mingbirds, finches,
robins, and sparrows.
I like to watch the hum mingbirds they are m y favorite.
We spend a lot of tim e in the garden planting weeding and just enjoying the view.
Each flower has its own personality som e seem shy and others seem bold.
Arent gardens wonderful?
You should com e visit som etim e Do you like to garden?
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3. The following paragraph contains errors in punctuation. On your own sheet of
paper, correct the paragraph by adding com m as, sem icolons, colons,
apostrophes, parentheses, hyphens, and dashes as needed. There m ay be m ore
than one way to correct the paragraph.
May 18 20 11
Dear Hiring Manager
Allow m e to introduce m yself in m y previous position I was known as the King of
Sales. I hope to earn the sam e title within your com pany. My nam e is Frances
Fortune. I have thirteen years experience in corporate sales and account
m anagem ent. I have been the top rated seller for two years in a row in m y
previous position. Clients recognize m e as dependable honest an d resourceful. I
have a strong work ethic and great interpersonal skills. I excel at goal setting and
tim e m anagem ent. However you don’t have to take m y word for it I will be happy
to provide personal and professional references upon request. Youre welcom e to
contact m y previous em ployer to inquire about m y work perform ance. I look
forward to speaking with you in person in the near future.
Sincerely
Frances Fortune
4. Read the following paragraph. Edit by adding apostrophes, parentheses, dashes,
and hyphens where needed. There m ay be m ore than one correct way to edit
som e sentences. Consider how the punctuation you choose affects the m eaning of
the sentence.
I was a little nervous about the interview it was m y first in years. I had to borrow
m y room m ates suit, but it fit m e well. A few days ago, I started to research the
com panys history and m ission. I felt like I was well qualified for the job. When I
arrived, I shook hands with the interviewer she had a strong grip! It nearly caught
m e off guard, but I did m y best to sm ile an d relax. I was a little distracted by all
the books in the wom ans office she m ust have had a hundred books in that tiny
room . However, I think m y responses to her questions were good. Ill send her an
e-m ail to thank her for her tim e. Hopefully shell call m e soon about the position.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
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W ritin g Applicatio n
Review som e of the recent or current assignm ents you have com pleted for school or
work. Look through recent business and personal e-m ails. Does your work contain any
errors in punctuation? Correct the errors and com pile a list of the types of errors you are
correcting (com m as, sem icolons, colons, apostrophes, quotation m arks, parentheses,
dashes, hyphens, etc.). Use this list as a reference for the types of punctuation m arks
that you should review and practice.
If you do not find m any errors—great! You can still look for ways to add interest to your
writing by using dashes, sem icolons, colons, and parentheses to create a variety of
sentence lengths and structures.
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Ch apte r 3 W o rkin g w ith W o rd s : W h ich W o rd Is Righ t?
3 .1 Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rd s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify com monly confused words.
2. Use strategies to avoid com m only confused words.
J ust as a m ason uses bricks to build sturdy hom es, writers use words to build successful
docum ents. Consider the construction of a building. Builders need to use tough, reliable
m aterials to build a solid and structurally sound skyscraper. From the foundation to the
roof and every floor in between, every part is necessary. Writers n eed to use strong,
m eaningful words from the first sentence to the last and in every sentence in between.
You already know m any words that you use everyday as part of your writing and
speaking vocabulary. You probably also know that certain words fit better in certain
situations. Letters, e-m ails, and even quickly jotted grocery lists require the proper
selection of vocabulary. Im agine you are writing a grocery list to purchase the
ingredients for a recipe but accidentally write down cilantro when the recipe calls for
parsley. Even though cilantro and parsley look rem arkably alike, each produces a very
different effect in food. This seem ingly sm all error could radically alter the flavor of your
dish!
Having a solid everyday vocabulary will help you while writing, but learning n ew words
and avoiding com m on word errors will m ake a real im pression on your readers.
Experienced writers know that deliberate, careful word selection and usage can lead to
m ore polished, m ore m eaningful work. This chapter covers word choice and vocabularybuilding strategies that will im prove your writing.
Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rd s
Som e words in English cause trouble for speakers and writers because these words share
a sim ilar pronunciation, m eaning, or spelling with another word. These words are called
com m only confused words. For exam ple, read aloud the following sentences containing
the com m only confused words new and knew :
I liked her new sweater.
I knew she would wear that sweater today.
These words m ay sound alike when spoken, but they carry entirely different usages and
m eanings. N ew is an adjective that describes the sweater, and knew is the past tense of
the verb to know . To read m ore about adjectives, verbs, and other parts of speech see
Chapter 1 "Writing Basics: What Makes a Good Sentence?".
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Re co gn izin g Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rd s
N ew and knew are just two of the words that can be confusing because of their
sim ilarities. Fam iliarize yourself with the following list of com m only confused words.
Recognizing these words in your own writing and in other pieces of writing can help you
choose the correct word.
Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rds
A, An, And
•
A (article). Used before a word that begins with a consonant.
a key, a m ouse, a screen
•
An (article). Used before a word that begins with a vowel.
a n airplane, an ocean, an igloo
•
And (conjunction). Connects two or m ore words together.
peanut butter an d jelly, pen an d pencil, jum p an d shout
Accept, Except
•
Accept (verb). Means to take or agree to som ething offered.
They acce p te d our proposal for the conference.
•
Except (conjunction). Means only or but.
We could fly there e xce p t the tickets cost too m uch.
Affect, Effect
•
Affect (verb). Means to create a change.
Hurricane winds affe ct the am ount of rainfall.
•
Effect (noun). Means an outcom e or result.
The heavy rains will have an e ffe ct on the crop growth.
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Are, Our
•
Are (verb). A conjugated form of the verb to be.
My cousins are all tall and blonde.
•
Our (pronoun). Indicates possession, usually follows the pronoun w e.
We will bring o u r cam eras to take pictures.
By, Buy
•
By (preposition). Means next to.
My glasses are by the bed.
•
Buy (verb). Means to purchase.
I will bu y new glasses after the doctor’s appointm ent.
Its, It’s
•
Its (pronoun). A form of it that shows possession.
The butterfly flapped its wings.
•
It’s (contraction). J oins the words it and is.
It’s the m ost beautiful butterfly I have ever seen.
Know, No
•
Know (verb). Means to understand or possess knowledge.
I kn o w the m ale peacock sports the brilliant feathers.
•
N o. Used to m ake a negative.
I have n o tim e to visit the zoo this weeken d.
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Loose, Lose
•
Loose (adjective). Describes som ething that is not tight or is detached.
Without a belt, her pants are lo o s e on her waist.
•
Lose (verb). Means to forget, to give up, or to fail to earn som ething.
She will lo s e even m ore weight after finishing the m arathon train ing.
Of, Have
•
Of (preposition). Means from or about.
I studied m aps o f the city to know where to rent a new apartm ent.
•
Have (verb). Means to possess som ething.
I h a ve m any friends to help m e m ove.
•
Have (linking verb). Used to connect verbs.
I should h a ve helped her with that heavy box.
Quite, Quiet, Quit
•
Quite (adverb). Means really or truly .
My work will require qu ite a lot of concentration.
•
Quiet (adjective). Means not loud.
I need a qu ie t room to com plete the assignm ents.
•
Quit (verb). Means to stop or to end.
I will qu it when I am hungry for dinner.
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Right, Write
•
Right (adjective). Means proper or correct.
When bowling, she practices the righ t form .
•
Right (adjective). Also m eans the opposite of left.
The ball curved to the righ t and hit the last pin.
•
W rite (verb). Means to com m unicate on paper.
After the team m em bers bowl, I will w rite down their scores.
Set, Sit
•
Set (verb). Means to put an item down.
She s e t the m ug on the saucer.
•
Set (noun). Means a group of sim ilar objects.
All the m ugs and saucers belonged in a s e t.
•
Sit (verb). Means to lower oneself down on a chair or another place
I’ll s it on the sofa while she brews the tea.
Suppose, Supposed
•
Suppose (verb). Means to think or to consider
I s u p p o s e I will bake the bread, because no one else has the recipe.
•
Suppose (verb). Means to suggest.
Su p p o s e we all split the cost of the din ner.
•
Supposed (verb). The past tense form of the verb suppose, m eaning required or
allowed.
She was s u p p o s e d to create the m enu.
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Than, Then
•
Than (conjunction). Used to connect two or m ore item s when com paring
Registered nurses require less schooling th a n doctors.
•
Then (adverb). Means next or at a specific tim e.
Doctors first com plete m edical school and th e n obtain a residency.
Their, They’re, There
•
Their (pronoun). A form of they that shows possession.
The dog walker feeds th e ir dogs everyday at two o’clock.
•
They ’re (contraction). J oins the words they and are.
Th e y’re the sweetest dogs in the neighborhood.
•
There (adverb). Indicates a particular place.
The dogs’ bowls are over th e re , next to the pantry.
•
There (pronoun). Indicates the presence of som ething
Th e re are m ore treats if the dogs behave.
To, Two, Too
•
To (preposition). Indicates m ovem ent.
Let’s go to the circus.
•
To. A word that com pletes an infinitive verb.
to play, to ride, to watch.
•
Tw o. The num ber after one. It describes how m any.
Tw o clowns squirted the elephants with water.
•
Too (adverb). Means also or very .
The tents were to o loud, and we left.
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Use, Used
•
Use (verb). Means to apply for som e purpose.
We u s e a weed whacker to trim the hedges.
•
Used. The past tense form of the verb to use
He u s e d the lawnm ower last night before it rained.
•
Used to. Indicates som ething done in the past but not in the present
He u s e d to hire a team to landscape, but now he landscapes alone.
Who’s, Whose
•
W ho’s (contraction). J oins the words w ho and either is or has.
W h o ’s the new student? W h o ’s m et him ?
•
W hose (pronoun). A form of w ho that shows possession.
W h o s e schedule allows them to take the new student on a cam pus tour?
Your, You’re
•
Your (pronoun). A form of y ou that shows possession.
Yo u r book bag is unzipped.
•
You’re (contraction). J oins the words y ou and are.
Yo u ’re the girl with the unzipped book bag.
The English language contains so m any words; no one can say for certain how m any
words exist. In fact, m any words in English are borrowed from other languages. Many
words have m ultiple m eanings and form s, further expanding the im m easurable num ber
of English words. Although the list of com m only confused words serves as a helpful
guide, even these words m ay have m ore m eanings than shown here. When in doubt,
consult an expert: the dictionary!
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Exe rcis e 1
Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct word.
1. My little cousin turns _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to, too, two) years old tomorrow.
2. The next-door neighbor’s dog is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (quite, quiet, quit) loud. He barks constantly
throughout the night.
3. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (Your, You’re) m other called this m orning to talk about the party.
4. I would rather eat a slice of chocolate cake _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (than, then) eat a chocolate
m uffin.
5. Before the m eeting, he drank a cup of coffee and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (than, then) brushed his
teeth.
6. Do you have any _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (loose, lose) change to pay the parking m eter?
7. Father m ust _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (have, of) left his briefcase at the office.
8. Before playing ice hockey, I was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (suppose, supposed) to read the contract,
but I only skim m ed it and signed m y nam e quickly, which m ay _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (affect, effect)
m y understanding of the rules.
9. Tonight she will _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (set, sit) down and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (right, write) a cover letter to
accompany her résum é and job application.
10 . It m ust be fall, because the leaves _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (are, our) changing, and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (it’s,
its) getting darker earlier.
Strate gie s to Avo id Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rd s
When writing, you need to choose the correct word according to its spelling and
m eaning in the context. Not only does selectin g the correct word im prove your
vocabulary and your writing, but it also m akes a good im pression on your readers. It
also helps reduce confusion and im prove clarity. The following strategies can help you
avoid m isusing confusing words.
1. U s e a dictio n ary. Keep a dictionary at your desk while you write. Look up words when
you are uncertain of their m eanings or spellings. Many dictionaries are also available
online, and the Internet’s easy access will not slow you down. Check out your cell phone
or sm artphone to see if a dictionary app is available.
2. Ke e p a lis t o f w o rd s yo u co m m o n ly co n fu s e . Be aware of the words that often
confuse you. When you notice a pattern of confusing words, keep a list nearby, and
consult the list as you write. Check the list again before you subm it an assignm ent to
your instructor.
3. Stu dy th e lis t o f co m m o n ly co n fu s e d w o rd s . You m ay not yet know which words
confuse you, but before you sit down to write, study the words on the list. Prepare your
m ind for working with words by reviewing the com m only confused words identified in
this chapter.
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Tip
Figure 3.1 A Com m only Misused Word on a Public Sign
Com m only confused words appear in m any locations, not just at work or at school. Be
on the lookout for m isused words wherever you find yourself throughout the day. Make
a m ental note of the error and rem em ber its correction for your own pieces of writing.
W ritin g at W o rk
All em ployers value effective com m unication. From an application to an interview to the
first m onth on the job, em ployers pay attention to your vocabulary. You do not need a
large vocabulary to succeed, but you do need to be able to express yourself clearly and
avoid com m only m isused words.
When giving an im portant presentation on the effect of inflation on profit m argins, you
m ust know the difference between effect and affect and choose the correct word. When
writing an e-m ail to confirm deliveries, you m ust know if the shipm ent will arrive in to
days, too days, or tw o days. Confusion m ay arise if you choose the wrong word.
Consistently using the proper words will im prove your com m unication and m ake a
positive im pression on your boss and colleagues.
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Exe rcis e 2
The following paragraph contains eleven errors. Find each m isused word and correct it
by adding the proper word.
The original United States Declaration of Independence sets in a case at the Rotunda for
the Charters of Freedom as part of the National Archives in Washington, DC. Since
1952, over one m illion visitors each year of passed through the Rotunda too snap a
photograph to capture they’re experience. Although signs state, “No Flash
Photography,” forgetful tourists leave the flash on, an a bright light flickers for just a
m illisecond. This m illisecond of light m ay not seem like enough to effect the precious
docum ent, but supposed how m uch light could be generated when all those m illiseconds
are added up. According to the National Archives adm inistrators, its enough to
significantly dam age the historic docum ent. So, now, the signs display quit a different
m essage: “No Photography.” Visitors continue to travel to see the Declaration that began
are country, but know longer can personal pictures serve as m em entos. The
adm in istrators’ com prom ise, they say, is a visit to the gift shop for a preprinted
photograph.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
In order to write accurately, it is im portant for writers to be aware of comm only confused
words.
Although com monly confused words m ay look alike or sound alike, their meanings are
very different.
Consulting the dictionary is one way to m ake sure you are using the correct word in your
writing. You m ay also keep a list of comm only confused words nearby when you write or
study the chart in this book.
Choosing the proper words leaves a positive im pression on your readers.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Review the latest assignm ent you com pleted for school or for work. Does it contain any
com m only confused words? Circle each exam ple and use the circled words to begin your
own checklist of com m only confused words. Continue to add to your checklist each tim e
you com plete an assignm ent and find a m isused word.
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3 .2 Sp e llin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify com mon spelling rules.
2. Identify com monly m isused hom onyms.
3. Identify com monly m isspelled words.
One essential aspect of good writing is accurate spelling. With com puter spell checkers,
spelling m ay seem sim ple, but these program s fail to catch every error. Spell checkers
identify som e errors, but writers still have to consider the flagged words an d suggested
replacem ents. Writers are still responsible for the errors that rem ain .
For exam ple, if the spell checker highlights a word that is m isspelled and gives you a list
of alternative words, you m ay choose a word that you never intended even though it is
spelled correctly. This can change the m eaning of your sentence. It can also confuse
readers, m aking them lose interest. Com puter spell checkers are useful editing tools, but
they can never replace hum an knowledge of spelling rules, hom onym s, and com m only
m isspelled words.
Co m m o n Sp e llin g Ru le s
The best way to m aster new words is to understand the key spelling rules. Keep in m in d,
however, that som e spelling rules carry exceptions. A spell checker m ay catch these
exceptions, but knowing them yourself will prepare you to spell accurately on the first
try. You m ay want to try m em orizing each rule and its exception like you would
m em orize a rhym e or lyrics to a song.
Write i before e except after c, or when pronounced ay like “neighbor” or “weigh.”
•
•
achieve, niece, alien
receive, deceive
When words end in a consonant plus y , drop the y and add an i before adding another
ending.
•
•
happy + er = happier
cry + ed = cried
When words end in a vowel plus y , keep the y and add the ending.
•
delay + ed = delayed
Mem orize the following exceptions to this rule: day , lay , say , pay = daily , laid, said,
paid
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When adding an endin g that begins with a vowel, such as -able, -ence, -ing, or -ity , drop
the last e in a word.
•
•
write + ing = writing
pure + ity = purity
When adding an ending that begins with a consonant, such as -less, -m ent, or -ly , keep
the last e in a word.
•
•
hope + less = hopeless
advertise + m ent = advertisem ent
For m any words ending in a consonant an d an o, add -s when using the plural form .
•
•
photo + s = photos
soprano + s = sopranos
Add -es to words that end in s, ch, sh, and x.
•
•
church + es = churches
fax + es = faxes
Exe rcis e 1
Identify and correct the nine m isspelled words in the following paragraph.
Sherm an J . Alexie J r. was born in October 1966. He is a Spokane/ Coeur d’Alene Indian
and an Am erican writer, poet, and film m aker. Alexie was born with hydrocephalus, or
water on the brain. This condition led doctors to predict that he would likly suffer longterm brain dam age an d possibly m ental retardation. Although Alexie survived with no
m ental disabilitys, he did suffer other serious side effects from his condition that plagud
him throughout his childhood. Am azingly, Alexie learned to read by the age of three,
and by age five he had read novels such as J ohn Steinbeck’s The Grapes of W rath.
Raised on an Indian reservation, Alexie often felt aleinated from his peers due to his
avid love for reading and also from the long-term effects of his illness, which often kept
him from socializeing with his peers on the reservation. The readin g skills he displaid at
such a young age foreshadowed what he would later becom e. Today Alexie is a prolific
and successful writer with several story anthologeis to his credit, noteably The Lone
Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven and The Toughest Indian in the W orld. Most of
his fiction is about contem porary Native Am ericans who are influenced by pop culture
and pow wows and everything in between. His work is som etim es funny but always
thoughtful and full of richness and depth. Alexie also writes poetry, novels, and
screen plays. His latest collection of storys is called W ar Dances, which cam e out in
20 0 9.
Collaboration
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Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Tip
Eight Tips to Im prove Spelling Skills
1. Re ad th e w o rd s in yo u r as s ign m e n t care fu lly, an d avo id s kim m in g o ve r th e
p age . Focusing on your written assignm ent word by word will help you pay close
attention to each word’s spelling. Skim m ing quickly, you m ay overlook m isspelled words.
2. U s e m n e m o n ic de vice s to re m e m be r th e co rre ct s pe llin g o f w o rd s . Mnem onic
devices, or m emory techniques and learning aids, include inventive sayings or practices
that help you rem em ber. For exam ple, the saying “It is important to be a beautiful
person inside and out” may help you rem ember that beautiful begins with “be a.” The
practice of pronouncing the word W ednesday Wed-nes-day m ay help you rem em ber
how to spell the word correctly.
3. U s e a dictio n ary. Many professional writers rely on the dictionary—either in print or
online. If you find it difficult to use a regular dictionary, ask your instructor to help you
find a “poor speller’s dictionary.”
4. U s e yo u r co m p u te r’s s p e ll ch e cke r. The spell checker will not solve all your spelling
problem s, but it is a useful tool. See the introduction to this section for cautions about
spell checkers.
5. Ke e p a lis t o f fre qu e n tly m is s pe lle d w o rd s . You will often m isspell the sam e words
again and again, but do not let this discourage you. All writers struggle with the spellings
of certain words; they becom e aware of their spelling weaknesses and work to improve.
Be aware of which words you com monly m isspell, and you can add them to a list to learn
to spell them correctly.
6. Lo o k o ve r co rre cte d p ap e rs fo r m is s pe lle d w o rd s . Add these words to your list
and practice writing each word four to five tim es each. Writing teachers will especially
notice which words you frequently m isspell, and it will help you excel in your classes if
they see your spelling improve.
7. Te s t yo u rs e lf w ith flas h card s . Som etim es the old-fashioned m ethods are best, and
for spelling, this tried and true technique has worked for m any students. You can work
with a peer or alone.
8. Re vie w th e co m m o n s p e llin g ru le s e xp lain e d in th is ch apte r. Take the
necessary tim e to m aster the m aterial; you m ay return to the rules in this chapter again
and again, as needed.
Tip
Rem em ber to focus on spelling during the editing and revising step of the writing
process. Start with the big ideas such as organizing your piece of writing and developing
effective paragraphs, and then work your way down toward the sm aller—but equally
im portant—details like spelling and punctuation. To read m ore about the writing
process and editing and revising, see Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?".
H o m o n ym s
Hom onym s are words that sound like one another but have differen t m eanings.
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Co m m o n ly Mis u s e d H o m o n ym s
Principle, Principal
•
Prin cip le ( n o u n ) . A fundam ental concept that is accepted as true.
The p rin cip le of hum an equality is an im portant foundation for all nations.
•
Prin cip al ( n o u n ) . The origin al am ount of debt on which interest is calculated.
The paym ent plan allows m e to pay back only the p rin cip al am oun t, not any
com pounded interest.
•
Prin cip al ( n o u n ) . A person who is the m ain authority of a school.
The p rin cip al held a conference for both parents and teachers.
Where, Wear, Ware
•
W h e re ( ad ve rb) . The place in which som ething happens.
W h e re is the restaurant?
•
W e ar ( ve rb) . To carry or have on the body.
I will w e ar m y hiking shoes when go on a clim b tom orrow m orning.
•
W are ( n o u n ) . Articles of m erchandise or m anufacture (usually, w ares).
When I return from shopping, I will show you m y w are s .
Lead, Led
•
Le ad ( n o u n ) . A type of m etal used in pipes and batteries.
The le ad pipes in m y hom es are old and need to be replaced.
•
Le d ( ve rb) . The past tense of the verb lead.
After the garden, she le d the patrons through the m useum .
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Which, Witch
•
W h ich ( p ro n o u n ) . Replaces one out of a group.
W h ich apartm ent is yours?
•
W itch ( n o u n ) . A person who practices sorcery or who has supern atural powers.
She thinks she is a w itch , but she does not seem to have an y powers.
Peace, Piece
•
Pe ace ( n o u n ) . A state of tranquility or quiet.
For once, there was p e ace between the argum entative brothers.
•
Pie ce ( n o u n ) . A part of a whole.
I would like a large p ie ce of cake, thank you.
Passed, Past
•
Pa s s e d ( ve rb) . To go away or m ove.
He p as s e d the slower cars on the road using the left lane.
•
Pa s t ( n o u n ) . Having existed or taken place in a period before the present.
The argum ent happen ed in the p as t, so there is no use in dwelling on it.
Lessen, Lesson
•
Le s s e n ( ve rb) . To reduce in num ber, size, or degree.
My dentist gave m e m edicine to le s s e n the pain of m y aching tooth.
•
Le s s o n ( n o u n ) . A reading or exercise to be studied by a student.
Today’s le s s o n was about m ortgage interest rates.
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Patience, Patients
•
Pa tie n ce ( n o u n ) . The capacity of being patient (waiting for a period of tim e or
enduring pains and trials calm ly).
The novice teacher’s p atie n ce with the unruly class was astoundin g.
•
Pa tie n ts ( p lu ral n o u n ) . Individuals under m edical care.
The p atie n ts were tired of eating the hospital food, and they could n ot wait for a
hom e-cooked m eal.
Sees, Seas, Seize
•
Se e s ( ve rb) . To perceive with the eye.
He s e e s a whale through his binoculars.
•
Se as ( p lu ral n o u n ) . The plural of sea, a great body of salt water.
The tidal fluctuation of the oceans an d s e as are influenced by the m oon.
•
Se ize ( ve rb) . To possess or take by force.
The king plans to s e ize all the peasants’ land.
Threw, Through
•
Th re w ( ve rb) . The past tense of throw .
She th re w the football with perfect form .
•
Th ro u gh ( p re p o s itio n ) . A word that indicates m ovem ent.
She walked th ro u gh the door and out of his life.
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Exe rcis e 2
Com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct hom onym .
1. Do you agree with the underlying _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (principle, principal) that ensures
copyrights are protected in the digital age?
2. I like to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (where, wear, ware) unique clothing from thrift stores that do not
have com pany logos on them .
3. Marjorie felt like she was being _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (led, lead) on a wild goose chase, and she did
not like it one bit.
4. Serina described _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (witch, which) house was hers, but now that I am here, they
all look the sam e.
5. Seeing his friend without a lunch, Miguel gave her a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (peace, piece) of his
apple.
6. Do you think that it is healthy for m other to talk about the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (passed, past) all
the tim e?
7. Eating healthier foods will _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (lessen, lesson) the risk of heart disease.
8. I know it sounds cliché, but m y father had the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (patients, patience) of a saint.
9. Daniela _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (sees, seas, seize) possibilities in the bleakest situations, and that it is
why she is successful.
10 . Everyone goes _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (through, threw) hardships in life regardless of who they are.
Co m m o n ly Mis s p e lle d W o rd s
Below is a list of com m only m isspelled words. You probably use these words every day
in either speaking or writing. Each word has a segm ent in bold type, which indicates the
problem area of the word that is often spelled incorrectly. If you can, use this list as a
guide before, during, and after you write.
Tip
Use the following two tricks to help you m aster these troublesom e words:
1. Copy each word a few tim es and underline the problem area.
2. Copy the words onto flash cards and have a friend test you.
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Table 3.1 Com m only Misspelled Words
across
disapp oint inte gration particu lar separate
ad d ress
disapprove inte lligent
p e rform
sim ilar
answ er
doe s n’t
inte re st
p e rhaps
s in ce
argu m ent eigh th
inte rfere
person n el spe e ch
ath lete
jewe lry
pos s es s
strength
pos s ible
success
em barrass
begin n ing enviro n m ent judgm ent
behavior
exaggerate
knowled ge p re fer
cale ndar
fam iliar
m aintain
career
finally
m athe m atics privile ge
s u rprise
preju d ice tau ght
tem perature
tho ro u gh
conscie nce govern m ent m eant
probably
crowde d
gram m ar
nece ssary
p s ychology thought
defin ite
heigh t
nervo u s
pu rsue
de s cribe
illegal
occasion
refe rence until
despe rate im m ediate ly opinio n
diffe rent
im portan t
optimist
rh ythm
tired
weigh t
ridicu lous written
Exe rcis e 3
Identify and correct the ten com m only m isspelled words in the following paragraph.
Brooklyn is one of the five boroughs that m ake up New York City. It is located on the
eastern shore of Long Island directly accross the East River from the island of
Manhattan. Its beginings stretch back to the sixteenth century when it was founded by
the Dutch who originally called it “Breuckelen.” Im m edietely after the Dutch settled
Brooklyn, it cam e under British rule. However, neither the Dutch nor the British were
Brooklyn’s first inhabitants. When European settlers first arrived, Brooklyn was largely
inhabited by the Lenapi, a collective nam e for several organized bands of Native
Am erican people who settled a large area of land that extended from upstate New York
through the entire state of New J ersey. They are som etim es referred to as the Delaware
Indians. Over tim e, the Lenapi succum bed to European diseases or conflicts between
European settlers or other Native Am erican enem ies. Finalley they were pushed out of
Brooklyn com pletely by the British.
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In 1776, Brooklyn was the site of the first im portent battle of the Am erican Revolution
known as the Battle of Brooklyn. The colonists lost this battle, which was led by George
Washington, but over the next two years they would win the war, kicking the British out
of the colonies once an d for all.
By the en d of the nineteenth century, Brooklyn grew to be a city in its own right. The
com pletion of the Brooklyn Bridge was an ocasion for celebration; transportation and
com m erce between Brooklyn and Manhattan now becam e m uch easier. Eventually, in
18 98 , Brooklyn lost its seperate identity as an independent city and becam e one of five
boroughs of New York City. However, in som e people’s opinien, the intagration into
New York City should have never happened; they though Brooklyn should have
rem ain ed an indepen dent city.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
W ritin g at W o rk
In today’s job m arket, writing e-m ails has becom e a m eans by which m any people find
em ploym ent. E-m ails to prospective em ployers require thoughtful word choice, accurate
spelling, and perfect punctuation. Em ployers’ inboxes are inundated with countless em ails daily. If even the subject line of an e-m ail contains a spelling error, it will likely be
overlooked and som eone else’s e-m ail will take priority.
The best thing to do after you proofread an e-m ail to an em ployer an d run the spell
checker is to have an additional set of eyes go over it with you; one of your teachers m ay
be able to read the e-m ail and give you suggestions for im provem ent. Most colleges and
universities have writing centers, which m ay also be able to assist you.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
Accurate, error-free spelling enhances your credibility with the reader.
Mastering the rules of spelling m ay help you becom e a better speller.
Knowing the com monly m isused hom onyms m ay prevent spelling errors.
Studying the list of comm only m isspelled words in this chapter, or studying a list of your
own, is one way to im prove your spelling skills.
W ritin g Applicatio n
What is your definition of a successful person? Is it based on a person’s profession or is
it based on his or her character? Perhaps success m eans a com bination of both. In one
paragraph, describe in detail what you think m akes a person successful. When you are
finished, proofread your work for spelling errors. Exchange papers with a partner an d
read each other’s work. See if you catch any spelling errors that your partner m issed.
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3 .3 W o rd Ch o ice
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the reasons why using a dictionary and thesaurus is important when writing.
2. Identify how to use proper connotations.
3. Identify how to avoid using slang, clichés, and overly general words in your writing.
Effective writing involves m aking conscious choices with words. When you prepare to sit
down to write your first draft, you likely have already com pleted som e freewriting
exercises, chosen your topic, developed your thesis statem ent, written an outline, and
even selected your sources. When it is tim e to write your first draft, start to consider
which words to use to best convey your ideas to the reader.
Som e writers are picky about word choice as they start drafting. They m ay practice som e
specific strategies, such as using a dictionary and thesaurus, using words an d phrases
with proper connotations, and avoiding slang, clichés, an d overly general words.
Once you understand these tricks of the trade, you can m ove ahead confidently in
writing your assignm ent. Rem em ber, the skill and accuracy of your word choice is a
m ajor factor in developing your writing style. Precise selection of your words will help
you be m ore clearly understood—in both writing and speaking.
U s in g a D ictio n ary an d Th e s au ru s
Even professional writers need help with the m eanings, spellings, pronunciations, an d
uses of particular words. In fact, they rely on dictionaries to help them write better. No
one knows every word in the English language and their m ultiple uses and m eanings, so
all writers, from novices to professionals, can benefit from the use of dictionaries.
Most dictionaries provide the following inform ation:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Spe llin g. How the word and its different form s are spelled.
Pro n u n ciatio n . How to say the word.
Part o f s p e e ch . The function of the word.
D e fin itio n . The m eaning of the word.
Syn o n ym s . Words that have sim ilar m eanings.
Etym o lo gy. The history of the word.
Look at the following sam ple dictionary entry and see which of the preceeding
inform ation you can identify:
m yth , m ith, n. [Gr. m y thos, a word, a fable, a legend.] A fable or legend em bodying the
convictions of a people as to their gods or other divin e beings, their own beginnings and
early history and the heroes connected with it, or the origin of the world; any invented
story; som ething or som eone having no existence in fact.—m yth • ic, m yth • i • ca l
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Like a dictionary, a thesaurus is another indispensable writing tool. A thesaurus gives
you a list of synonym s, words that have the sam e (or very close to the sam e) m eaning as
another word. It also lists antonym s, words with the opposite m eaning of the word. A
thesaurus will help you when you are looking for the perfect word with just the right
m eaning to convey your ideas. It will also help you learn m ore words and use the on es
you already know m ore correctly.
p re co cio u s adj, She’s such a precocious little girl!: uncom m only sm art, m ature,
advanced, sm art, bright, brilliant, gifted, quick, clever, apt.
Ant. slow, backward, stupid.
U s in g Pro p e r Co n n o tatio n s
A denotation is the dictionary defin ition of a word. A connotation, on the other han d, is
the em otional or cultural m eaning attached to a word. The connotation of a word can be
positive, negative, or n eutral. Keep in m ind the connotative m eaning when choosing a
word.
Scrawny
•
•
•
D e n o tatio n : Exceptionally thin and slight or m eager in body or size.
W o rd u s e d in a s e n te n ce : Although he was a prem ature baby and a s craw n y child,
Martin has developed into a strong m an.
Co n n o tatio n : (Negative) In this sentence the word scraw ny m ay have a negative
connotation in the readers’ m inds. They m ight find it to m ean a weakness or a personal
flaw; however, the word fits into the sentence appropriately.
Skinny
•
•
•
D e n o tatio n : Lacking sufficient flesh, very thin.
W o rd u s e d in a s e n te n ce : Skin n y jeans have becom e very fashionable in the past
couple of years.
Co n n o tatio n : (Positive) Based on cultural and personal im pressions of what it m eans
to be skinny, the reader m ay have positive connotations of the word skinny .
Lean
•
•
•
D e n o tatio n : Lacking or deficient in flesh; containing little or no fat.
W o rd u s e d in a s e n te n ce : My brother has a le an figure, whereas I have a m ore
m uscular build.
Co n n o tatio n : (Neutral) In this sentence, lean has a neutral connotation. It does not
call to m ind an overly skinny person like the word scraw ny , nor does imply the positive
cultural impressions of the word skinny . It is m erely a neutral descriptive word.
Notice that all the words have a very sim ilar denotation; however, the connotations of
each word differ.
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Exe rcis e 1
In each of the following item s, you will find words with sim ilar denotations. Identify the
words’ connotations as positive, negative, or n eutral by writing the word in the
appropriate box. Copy the chart onto your own piece of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
curious, nosy, interested
lazy, relaxed, slow
courageous, foolhardy, assured
new, newfangled, m odern
m ansion, shack, residence
spinster, unm arried wom an, career wom an
giggle, laugh, cackle
boring, routine, prosaic
noted, notorious, fam ous
assertive, confident, pushy
Po s itive
N e gative
N e u tral
Avo id in g Slan g
Slang describes inform al words that are considered nonstandard English. Slang often
changes with passing fads and m ay be used by or fam iliar to only a specific group of
people. Most people use slang when they speak and in personal corresponden ces, such
as e-m ails, text m essages, and instant m essages. Slang is appropriate between friends in
an inform al context but should be avoided in form al academ ic writing.
W ritin g at W o rk
Frequent exposure to m edia an d popular culture has desensitized m any of us to slang.
In certain situations, using slang at work m ay not be problem atic, but keep in m in d that
words can have a powerful effect. Slang in professional e-m ails or during m eetings m ay
convey the wrong m essage or even m istakenly offend som eone.
Exe rcis e 2
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Edit the following paragraph by replacing the slang words an d phrases with m ore form al
language. Rewrite the paragraph on your own sheet of paper.
I felt like such an airhead when I got up to give m y speech. As I walked toward the
podium , I banged m y knee on a chair. Man, I felt like such a klutz. On top of that, I kept
saying “like” and “um ,” and I could not stop fidgeting. I was so stressed out about being
up there. I feel like I’ve been practicing this speech 24/ 7, and I still bom bed. It was ten
m inutes of m e going off about how we som etim es have to do things we don’t enjoy
doing. Wow, did I ever prove m y point. My speech was so bad I’m surprised that people
didn’t boo. My teacher said not to sweat it, though. Everyone gets nervous his or her
first tim e speaking in public, and she said, with tim e, I would becom e a whiz at this
speech giving stuff. I wonder if I have the guts to do it again.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Avo id in g Clich é s
Clichés are descriptive expressions that have lost their effectiveness because they are
overused. Writing that uses clichés often suffers from a lack of origin ality and insight.
Avoiding clichés in form al writing will help you write in original and fresh ways.
•
•
•
Clich é d: Whenever m y brother and I get into an argum ent, he always says som ething
that m akes m y blo o d bo il.
Plain : Whenever m y brother and I get into an argum ent, he always says som ething that
m akes m e really angry.
Origin al: Whenever m y brother and I get into an argum ent, he always says som ething
that m akes m e want to go to the gym and punch the bag for a few hours.
Tip
Think about all the cliché phrases that you hear in popular m usic or in everyday
conversation. What would happen if these clichés were transform ed into som ething
unique?
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, revise the following sentences by replacing the clichés with
fresh, original descriptions.
1. She is writing a m em oir in which she will air her fam ily’s dirty laundry.
2. Fran had an ax to grind with Benny, and she planned to confront him that night at the
party.
3. Mr. Muller was at his wit’s end with the rowdy class of seventh graders.
4. The bottom line is that Greg was fired because he m issed too m any days of work.
5. Som etim es it is hard to m ake ends m eet with just one paycheck.
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6. My brain is fried from pulling an all-nighter.
7. Maria left the dishes in the sink all week to give J eff a taste of his own m edicine.
8. While they were at the carnival J anice exclaim ed, “Tim e sure does fly when you are
having fun!”
9. J erem y becam e tongue-tied after the interviewer asked him where he saw him self in five
years.
10 . J ordan was dressed to the nines that night.
Avo id in g Ove rly Ge n e ral W o rd s
Specific words and im ages m ake your writing m ore interesting to read. Whenever
possible, avoid overly general words in your writing; instead, try to replace general
language with particular nouns, verbs, an d m odifiers that convey details and that bring
yours words to life. Add words that provide color, texture, sound, and even sm ell to your
writing.
•
•
Ge n e ral: My new puppy is cute.
Spe cific: My new puppy is a ball of white fuzz with the biggest black eyes I have ever
seen.
•
•
Ge n e ral: My teacher told us that plagiarism is bad.
Spe cific: My teacher, Ms. Atwater, created a presentation detailing exactly how
plagiarism is illegal and unethical.
Exe rcis e 4
Revise the following sentences by replacing the overly general words with m ore precise
and attractive language. Write the new sentences on your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
Reilly got into her car and drove off.
I would like to travel to outer space because it would be am azing.
J ane cam e hom e after a bad day at the office.
I thought Milo’s essay was fascinating.
The dog walked up the street.
The coal m iners were tired after a long day.
The tropical fish are pretty.
I sweat a lot after running.
The goalie blocked the shot.
I enjoyed m y Mexican m eal.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Using a dictionary and thesaurus as you write will im prove your writing by im proving
your word choice.
Connotations of words may be positive, neutral, or negative.
Slang, clichés, and overly general words should be avoided in academ ic writing.
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W ritin g Applicatio n
Review a piece of writing that you have com pleted for school. Circle any senten ces with
slang, clichés, or overly general words and rewrite them using stronger language.
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3 .4 Pre fixe s an d S u ffixe s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the m eanings of com mon prefixes.
2. Becom e fam iliar with com m on suffix rules.
The English language contains an enorm ous and ever-growing num ber of words.
Enhan cing your vocabulary by learning new words can seem overwhelm ing, but if you
know the com m on prefixes and suffixes of En glish, you will understand m any m ore
words.
Mastering com m on prefixes and suffixes is like learning a code. Once you crack the
code, you can not only spell words m ore correctly but also recognize and perhaps even
define unfam iliar words.
Pre fixe s
A prefix is a word part added to the beginning of a word to create a n ew m eaning. Study
the com m on prefixes in Table 3.2 "Com m on Prefixes".
Tip
The m ain rule to rem em ber when adding a prefix to a word is n o t to add letters or leave
out any letters. See Table 3.2 "Com m on Prefixes" for exam ples of this rule.
Table 3.2 Com m on Prefixes
Pre fix
Me an in g
Exam p le
dis
not, opposite of dis + satisfied = dissatisfied
m is
wrongly
m is + spell = m isspell
un
not
un + acceptable = unacceptable
re
again
re + election = reelection
inter
between
inter + related = interrelated
pre
before
pre + pay = prepay
non
not
non + sense = nonsense
super above
super + script = superscript
sub
sub + m erge = subm erge
under
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Pre fix
anti
Me an in g
Exam p le
against, opposinganti + bacterial = antibacterial
Exe rcis e 1
Identify the five words with prefixes in the following paragraph, and write their
m eanings on a separate sheet of paper.
At first, I thought one of m y fuzzy, orange socks disappeared in the dryer, but I could not
find it in there. Because it was m y favorite pair, nothing was going to prevent m e from
finding that sock. I looked all around m y bedroom , under the bed, on top of the bed, and
in m y closet, but I still could not find it. I did not know that I would discover the answer
just as I gave up m y search. As I sat down on the couch in the fam ily room , m y Dad was
reclining on his chair. I laughed when I saw that one of his feet was orange and the other
blue! I forgot that he was color-blind. Next tim e he does laundry I will have to supervise
him while he folds the socks so that he does n ot accidentally take one of m ine!
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Exe rcis e 2
Add the correct prefix to the word to com plete each senten ce. Write the word on your
own sheet of paper.
1. I wanted to ease m y stom ach _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ com fort, so I drank som e ginger root tea.
2. Lenny looked funny in his _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ m atched shirt and pants.
3. Penelope felt _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ glam orous at the party because she was the only one not
wearing a dress.
4. My m other said those _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ aging creams do not work, so I should not waste m y
m oney on them.
5. The child’s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ standard perform ance on the test alarm ed his parents.
6. When m y sister first saw the m eteor, she thought it was a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ natural
phenom enon.
7. Even though she got an excellent job offer, Cherie did not want to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ locate to a
different country.
8. With a sm all class size, the students get to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ act with the teacher m ore
frequently.
9. I slipped on the ice because I did not heed the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ cautions about watching m y
step.
10 . A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ combatant is another word for civilian.
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Su ffixe s
A suffix is a word part added to the end of a word to create a new m eaning. Study the
suffix rules in the following boxes.
Rule 1
When adding the suffixes -ness and -ly to a word, the spelling of the word does not
change.
Exa m p le s :
•
•
dark + ness = darkness
scholar + ly = scholarly
Exceptions to Rule 1
When the word ends in y , change the y to i before adding -ness and -ly .
Exa m p le s :
•
•
ready + ly = readily
happy + ness = happiness
Rule 2
When the suffix begins with a vowel, drop the silent e in the root word.
Exa m p le s :
•
•
care + ing = caring
use + able = usable
Exceptions to Rule 2
When the word ends in ce or ge, keep the silen t e if the suffix begins with a or o.
Exa m p le s :
•
•
replace + able = replaceable
courage + ous = courageous
Rule 3
When the suffix begins with a consonant, keep the silent e in the original word.
Exa m p le s :
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•
•
care + ful = careful
care + less = careless
Exceptions to Rule 3
Exa m p le s :
•
•
true + ly = truly
argue + m ent = argum ent
Rule 4
When the word ends in a consonant plus y , change the y to i before any suffix not
beginning with i.
Exa m p le s :
•
•
sunny + er = sunnier
hurry + ing = hurrying
Rule 5
When the suffix begins with a vowel, double the final consonant only if (1) the word has
only one syllable or is accented on the last syllable and (2) the word ends in a single
vowel followed by a single consonant.
Exa m p le s :
•
•
•
•
tan + ing = tanning (one syllable word)
regret + ing = regretting (The accent is on the last syllable; the word ends in a single
vowel followed by a single consonant.)
cancel + ed = canceled (The accent is not on the last syllable.)
prefer + ed = preferred
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, write correctly the form s of the words with their suffixes.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
refer + ed
refer + ence
m ope + ing
approve + al
green + ness
benefit + ed
resubm it + ing
use + age
greedy + ly
excite + m ent
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
A prefix is a word part added to the beginning of a word that changes the word’s
m eaning.
A suffix is a word part added to the end of a word that changes the word’s m eaning.
Learning the m eanings of prefixes and suffixes will help expand your vocabulary, which
will help improve your writing.
W ritin g Ap plicatio n
Write a paragraph describing one of your life goals. Include five words with prefixes and
five words with suffixes. Exchange papers with a classm ate and circle the prefixes and
suffixes in your classm ate’s paper. Correct each prefix or suffix that is spelled
incorrectly.
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3 .5 Syn o n ym s an d An to n ym s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Recognize how synonyms im prove writing.
2. Identify com mon antonym s to increase your vocabulary.
As you work with your draft, you will want to pay particular attention to the words you
have chosen. Do they express exactly what you are trying to convey? Can you choose
better, m ore effective words? Fam iliarity with synonym s and antonym s can be helpful in
answering these questions.
Syn o n ym s
Synonym s are words that have the sam e, or alm ost the sam e, m eaning as another word.
You can say an “easy task” or a “sim ple task” because easy and sim ple are synonym s.
You can say Hong Kong is a “large city” or a “m etropolis” because city and m etropolis
are synon ym s.
However, it is im portant to rem em ber that not all pairs of words in the English language
are so easily interchangeable. The slight but im portant differences in m eaning between
synonym s can m ake a big difference in your writing. For exam ple, the words boring and
insipid m ay have sim ilar m eanings, but the subtle differences between the two will affect
the m essage your writing conveys. The word insipid evokes a scholarly and perhaps
m ore pretentious m essage than boring.
The English language is full of pairs of words that have subtle distinctions between
them . All writers, professionals and beginners alike, face the challenge of choosing the
m ost appropriate synonym to best convey their ideas. When you pay particular attention
to synonym s in your writing, it com es across to your reader. The sentences becom e
m uch m ore clear an d rich in m eaning.
W ritin g at W o rk
Any writing you do at work involves a careful choice of words. For exam ple, if you are
writing an e-m ail to your em ployer regarding your earnings, you can use the word pay ,
salary , or hourly w age. There are also other synonym s to choose from . J ust keep in
m ind that the word you choose will have an effect on the reader, so you want to choose
wisely to get the desired effect.
Exe rcis e 1
Replace the underlined words in the paragraph with appropriate synonym s. Write the
new paragraph on your own sheet of paper.
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When m ost people think of the Renaissance, they m ight think of artists like
Michelangelo, Raphael, or Leonardo da Vinci, but they often overlook one of the very
im portant figures of the Renaissance: Filippo Brunelleschi. Brunelleschi was born in
Florence, Italy in 1377. He is considered the very best architect and engineer of the
Renaissan ce. His im pressive accom plishm ents are a testam ent to following one’s
dream s, persevering in the face of obstacles, and realizing one’s vision.
The m ost difficult undertaking of Brunelleschi’s career was the dom e of Florence
Cathedral, which took sixteen years to construct. A m ajor blow to the progress of the
construction happen ed in 1428. Brunelleschi had designed a special ship to carry the
one hundred tons of m arble needed for the dom e. He felt this would be the m ost
inexpensive way to transport the m arble, but the unthinkable happened. The ship went
down to the bottom of the water, taking all the m arble with it to the bottom of the river.
Brunelleschi was really sad. Nevertheless, he did not give up. He held true to his vision
of the com pleted dom e. Filippo Brunelleschi com pleted construction of the dom e of
Florence Cathedral in 1446. His influence on artists and architects alike was felt strongly
during his lifetim e and can still be felt in this day and age.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Exe rcis e 2
On your own sheet of paper, write a sentence with each of the following words that
illustrates the specific m eaning of each synonym .
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
leave, abandon
m ad, insane
outside, exterior
poor, destitute
quiet, peaceful
riot, revolt
rude, impolite
talk, conversation
hug, em brace
hom e, residence
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate and com pare your answers.
An to n ym s
Antonym s are words that have the opposite m eaning of a given word. The study of
antonym s will not only help you choose the m ost appropriate word as you write; it will
also sharpen your overall sense of language. lists com m on words and their antonym s.
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Table 3.3 Com m on Antonym s
W o rd
absence
accept
accurate
advantage
ancient
abundant
artificial
attractive
borrow
bravery
create
bold
capable
com bine
conceal
com m on
decrease
definite
despair
discourage
em ployer
expand
forget
An to n ym
presen ce
refuse
inaccurate
disadvantage
m odern
scarce
natural
repulsive
lend
cowardice
destroy, dem olish
tim id, m eek
incapable
separate
reveal
rare
increase
indefinite
hope
encourage
em ployee
contract
rem em ber
W o rd
frequent
harm ful
horizontal
im itation
inhabited
inferior
intentional
justice
knowledge
landlord
likely
m inority
m iser
obedient
optim ist
perm anent
plentiful
private
prudent
qualified
satisfactory
tam e
vacant
An to n ym
seldom
harm less
vertical
genuine
uninhabited
superior
accidental
injustice
ignorance
tenant
unlikely
m ajority
spendthrift
disobedient
pessim ist
tem porary
scarce
public
im prudent
unqualified
unsatisfactory
wild
occupied
Tip
Learning antonym s is an effective way to in crease your vocabulary. Mem orizing words
in com bin ation with or in relation to other words often helps us retain them .
Exe rcis e 3
Correct the following sentences by replacing the underlined words with an antonym .
Write the antonym on your own sheet of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
The pilot who landed the plane was a coward because no one was injured.
Even though the botany lecture was two hours long, Gerard found it incredibly dull.
My m other says it is impolite to say thank you like you really m ean it.
Although I have learned a lot of inform ation through textbooks, it is life experience that
has given m e ignorance.
5. When our instructor said the final paper was compulsory, it was music to m y ears!
6. My only virtues are coffee, video gam es, and really loud m usic.
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7. Elvin was so bold when he walked in the classroom that he sat in the back row and did
not participate.
8. Maria thinks elephants who live in freedom have a sad look in their eyes.
9. The teacher filled her students’ m inds with gloomy thoughts about their futures.
10 . The guest attended to every one of our needs.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
Synonym s are words that have the sam e, or alm ost the sam e, m eaning as another word.
Antonyms are words that have the opposite m eaning of another word.
Choosing the right synonym refines your writing.
Learning com mon antonym s sharpens your sense of language and expands your
vocabulary.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a paragraph that describes your favorite dish or food. Use as m any synon ym s as
you can in the description, even if it seem s too m any. Be creative. Consult a thesaurus,
and take this opportunity to use words you have never used before. Be prepared to share
your paragraph.
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3 .6 U s in g Co n te xt Clu e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the different types of context clues.
2. Practice using context clues while reading.
Context clues are bits of inform ation within a text that will assist you in deciphering the
m eaning of unknown words. Since m ost of your knowledge of vocabulary com es from
reading, it is im portant that you recognize con text clues. By becom ing m ore aware of
particular words an d phrases surrounding a difficult word, you can m ake logical guesses
about its m eaning. The following are the different types of context clues:
•
•
•
Brief definition or restatem ent
Synonym s and antonym s
Exam ples
Brie f D e fin itio n o r Re s tate m e n t
Som etim es a text directly states the definition or a restatem ent of the unknown word.
The brief definition or restatem ent is signaled by a word or a punctuation m ark.
Consider the following exam ple:
If you visit Alaska, you will likely see m any glaciers, or slow m oving m asses of ice.
In this senten ce, the word glaciers is defined by the phrase that follows the signal word
or, which is slow m oving m asses of ice.
In other instances, the text m ay restate the m eaning of the word in a different way, by
using punctuation as a signal. Look at the following exam ple:
Marina was indignant—fum ing m ad—when she discovered her brother had left for the
party without her.
Although fum ing m ad is not a form al definition of the word indignant, it does serve to
define it. These two exam ples use signals—the word or and the punctuation dashes—to
indicate the m eaning of the unfam iliar word. Other signals to look for are the words is,
as, m eans, know n as, and refers to.
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Syn o n ym s an d An to n ym s
Som etim es a text gives a synonym of the unknown word to signal the m eaning of the
unfam iliar word:
When you interpret an im age, you actively question and exam in e what the im age
connotes and suggests.
In this senten ce the word suggests is a synonym of the word connotes. The word and
som etim es signals synonym s.
Likewise, the word but m ay signal a contrast, which can help you define a word by its
antonym .
I abhor clothes shopping, but I adore grocery shopping.
The word abhor is contrasted with its opposite: adore. From this context, the reader can
guess that abhor m eans to dislike greatly.
Exam p le s
Som etim es a text will give you an exam ple of the word that sheds light on its m eaning:
I knew Mark’s ailurophobia was in full force because he began trem bling and stuttering
when he saw m y cat, Ludwig, slink out from under the bed.
Although ailurophobia is an unknown word, the senten ce gives an exam ple of its effects.
Based on this exam ple, a reader could confidently surm ise that the word m eans a fear of
cats.
Tip
Look for signal words like such as, for instance, and for exam ple. These words signal
that a word’s m eaning m ay be revealed through an exam ple.
Exe rcis e 1
Identify the context clue that helps define the underlined words in each of the following
sentences. Write the context clue on your own sheet of paper.
1. Lucinda is very adroit on the balance beam , but Constance is rather clum sy.
2. I saw the entomologist, a scientist who studies insects, cradle the giant dung beetle in her
palm .
3. Lance’s com m ents about politics were irrelevant and m eaningless to the botanist’s
lecture on plant reproduction.
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4. Before I left for m y trip to the Czech Republic, I listened to m y mother’s sage advice and
m ade a copy of m y passport.
5. His rancor, or hatred, for socializing resulted in a life of loneliness and boredom .
6. Martin was mortified, way beyond em barrassm ent, when his friends team ed up to shove
him into the pool.
7. The petulant four-year-old had a baby sister who was, on the contrary, not grouchy at all.
8. The philosophy teacher presented the students with several conundrum s, or riddles, to
solve.
9. Most Am ericans are om nivores, people that eat both plants and anim als.
10 . Elena is effervescent, as excited as a cheerleader, for exam ple, when she meets som eone
for the first tim e.
Exe rcis e 2
On your own sheet of paper, write the nam e of the context clue that helps to define the
underlined words.
Maggie was a precocious child to say the least. She produced brilliant watercolor
paintings by the age of three. At first, her parents were flabbergasted—utterly blown
away—by their daughter’s ability, but soon they got used to their little painter. Her
preschool teacher said that Maggie’s dexterity, or ease with which she used her han ds,
was som ething she had never before seen in such a young child. Little Maggie never
gloated or took pride in her paintings; she just sm iled contentedly when she fin ished
one and requested her parents give it to som eone as a gift. Whenever people m et Maggie
for the first tim e they often watched her paint with their m ouths agape, but her parents
always kept their m ouths closed and sim ply sm iled over their “little Monet.”
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Tip
In addition to context clues to help you figure out the m eaning of a word, exam ine the
following word parts: prefixes, roots, and suffixes.
W ritin g at W o rk
J argon a type of shorthand com m unication often used in the workplace. It is the
technical language of a special field. Im agine it is your first tim e working as a server in a
restaurant and your m anager tells you he is going to “eighty-six” the roasted chicken. If
you do not realize that “eighty-six” m eans to rem ove an item from the m enu, you could
be confused.
When you first start a job, no m atter where it m ay be, you will encounter jargon that will
likely be foreign to you. Perhaps after working the job for a short tim e, you too will feel
com fortable enough to use it. When you are first hired, however, jargon can be baffling
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and m ake you feel like an outsider. If you can not decipher the jargon based on the
context, it is always a good policy to ask.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
Context clues are words or phrases within a text that help clarify vocabulary that is
unknown to you.
There are several types of context clues including brief definition and restatem ent,
synonym s and antonyms, and exam ple.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a paragraph describing your first job. In the paragraph, use five words previously
unknown to you. These words could be jargon words or you m ay consult a dictionary or
thesaurus to find a new word. Make sure to provide a specific context clue for
understanding each word. Exchange papers with a classm ate an d try to decipher the
m eaning of the words in each other’s paragraphs based on the context clues.
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3 .7 W o rkin g w ith W o rd s : En d -o f-Ch ap te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
Exe rcis e s
1. Proofread the paragraph and correct any com m only confused words an d
m isspelled words.
Grunge, or the Seattle sound, is a type of rock m usic that becam e quiet popular in
the late 1980 s and early 1990 s. It began in Seattle, Washington. Grunge
m usicians rejected the dram atic an expensive stage productions that were trendy
at the tim e. There m usic was striped down with an em phasis on distorted electric
guitars. Grunge m usicians did not ware m akeup or sport extravagent hairstyles
like m any of the day’s rock m usicians an d bands. Many grunge m usicians would
by they’re clothes from secon dhand stores. The lyrics too grunge son gs were also
quit different com pared two what was populer at the tim e. Grunge lyrics are
charecterized by dark or socially conscience them es. Grunge m usic is still
adm ired today buy m usic lovers of all ages.
2. Com plete the following sentences by filling in the blank line with the correct
hom onym or frequently m isspelled word.
1. Kevin asked m e a serious question and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (then, than) interrupted m e
when I attempted to answer.
2. A hot compress will _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (lessen, lesson) the pain of m uscle cramps.
3. J ason was not a graceful _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (looser, loser) because he knocked his chair
over and storm ed off the basketball court.
4. Please consider the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (effects, affects) of not getting enough green
vegetables in your diet.
5. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (Except, Accept) for Ajay, we all had our tickets to the play.
6. I am _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (threw, through) with this m agazine, so you can read it if you
like.
7. I don’t care _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (whose, who’s) com ing to the party and
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (whose, who’s) not.
8. Crystal could _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (sea, see) the soaring hawk through her binoculars.
9. The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (principal, principle) gave the students a very long lecture about
peer pressure.
10 . Dr. Frankl nearly lost his _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (patience, patients) with one of his
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (patience, patients).
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3. Rewrite the following personal essay by replacing the slang, clichés, and overly
general language with stronger, m ore precise language.
My biggest regret happened in high school. I had always felt like a fish out of
water, so during m y sophom ore year I was determ ined to fit in with the cool
people. Man, was that an uphill battle. I don’t even know why I tried, but
hindsight is 20 / 20 I guess. The first thing I did was change the way I dressed. I
went from wearing clothes I was com fortable in to wearing stuff that was so not
m e. Then I started wearing a ton of m akeup, and m y brother was all like, “What
happened to your face?” Not only did m y looks change, m y personality changed a
lot too. I started to act all stuck up and bossy with m y friends, and they didn’t
know how to respond to this person that used to be m e. Luckily, this phase didn’t
last m ore than a couple of m onths. I decided it was m ore fun to be m e than to try
to be som eone else. I guess you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole after all.
4. Write the correct synonym for each word.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
lenient _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (relaxed, callous)
abandon _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (vacate, deceive)
berate _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (criticize, encourage)
experienced _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (callow, m atured)
spiteful _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (m alevolent, m ellow)
tam e _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (subdued, wild)
tasty _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (savory, bland)
banal _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (com mon, interesting)
contradict _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (deny, revolt)
vain _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (boastful, sim ple)
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Ch apte r 4 H e lp fo r En glis h Lan gu age Le arn e rs
4 .1 W o rd Ord e r
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the basic structures of sentences.
2. Determ ine ways to turn sentences into questions.
3. Define adjectives and how they are used.
If your first language is not English, you will m ost likely need som e extra help when
writing in Standard, or form al, English. New students of Standard English often m ake
sim ilar kinds of errors. Even if you have been speaking English for a long tim e, you m ay
not feel as confident in your written English skills. This chapter covers the m ost
com m on errors m ade by English language learners and helps you avoid sim ilar m istakes
in your writing.
Bas ic Se n te n ce Stru ctu re s
The m ost basic sentence structure in English is a subject plus a verb. A subject perform s
the action in the sentence, and the verb identifies the action. Keep in m ind that in som e
languages, such as Spanish and Italian, an obvious subject does not always perform the
action in a senten ce; the subject is often im plied by the verb. However, every sentence in
English m ust have a subject and a verb to express a com plete thought.
Not all sentences are as sim ple as a subject plus a verb. To form m ore com plex
sentences, writers build upon this basic structure. Adding a prepositional phrase to the
basic sentence creates a m ore com plex senten ce. A preposition is a part of speech that
relates a noun or a pronoun to another word in a sentence. It also introduces a
prepositional phrase. If you can identify a preposition, you will be able to identify a
prepositional phrase.
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On is the preposition. On the couch is the prepositional phrase.
Co m m o n Pre po s itio n s
about
above
across
after
against
along
am ong
around
at
before
behind
beside
between
by
during
except
for
from
in
into
like
of
off
on
over
through
to
toward
under
until
up
with
without
Exe rcis e 1
Copy the following sentences onto your own sheet of paper and underline the
prepositional phrases.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Linda and J avier danced under the stars.
Each person has an opinion about the topic.
The fans walked through the gates.
J am yra ran around the track.
Maria celebrated her birthday in J anuary.
Another sentence structure that is im portant to understand is subject + verb + object.
There are two types of objects: direct objects and indirect objects.
A direct object receives the action of the verb.
The letter directly receives the action of the verb w rites.
Tip
A quick way to find the direct object is to ask w hat? or w ho?
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Se n te n ce : Maurice kicked the ball.
W hat did Maurice kick? The direct object, ball.
Se n te n ce : Maurice kicked Tom by accident.
W ho did Maurice kick? The direct object, Tom .
An indirect object does not receive the action of the verb.
The action (w rites) is perform ed for or to the indirect object (m e).
Tip
Even though the indirect object is not found after a preposition in English, it can be
discovered by asking to w hom ? or for w hom ? after the verb.
Se n te n ce : Dad baked the children som e cookies.
For whom did Dad bake the cookies? The indirect object, children.
Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, identify the subject, verb, direct object, and indirect object
in the following sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Captain Kirk told the crew a story.
J erm aine gave his girlfriend a dozen yellow tulips.
That hospital offers nurses better pay.
Dad served Grandm a a delicious dinner.
Mom bought herself a new car.
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite the sentences in the correct order. If the senten ce
is correct as it is, write OK.
1. The pizza J eannine burnt.
2. To the Mexican restaurant we had to go for dinner.
3. J eannine loved the food.
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4. So full were we during the walk hom e.
5. I will m ake the pizza next tim e.
Qu e s tio n s
English speakers rely on the following two com m on ways to turn sentences into
questions:
1. Move the helping verb and add a question m ark.
2. Add the verb do, does, or did and add a question m ark.
Move the helping verb and add a question m ark.
Se n te n ce : Sierra can pack these boxes.
Qu e s tio n : Can Sierra pack these boxes?
Add the verb do, does, or did, and add a question m ark:
Se n te n ce : J olene skated across the pond.
Qu e s tio n : D id J olen e skate across the pond?
Exe rcis e 4
On a separate sheet of paper, create questions from the following sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Slum dog Millionaire is a film directed by Danny Boyle.
The story centers on a character nam ed J am al Malik.
He and his older brother find different ways to escape the slums.
His brother, Salim, pursues a life of crim e.
J am al ends up on the gam e show W ho W ants to Be a Millionaire?
Ad je ctive s
An adjective is a kind of descriptive word that describes a noun or a pronoun. It tells
w hich one, w hat kind, and how m any . Adjectives m ake your writing m ore lively and
interesting. Keep in m ind, a com m on error that English language learners m ake is
m isplacing the adjectives in a senten ce. It is im portant to know where to place the
adjective in a sentence so that readers are not confused.
If you are using m ore than one adjective to describe a noun, place the adjectives in the
following order before the noun:
1. Op in io n : an interesting book, a boring m ovie, a fun ride
2. Size : a large box, a tiny turtle, a tall wom an
3. Sh ape : a round ball, a long hose, a square field
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4.
5.
6.
7.
Age : a new day, an old horse, a modern building
Co lo r: an orange sunset, a green jacket, a red bug
Eth n icity: Italian cheese, French wine, Chinese tea
Mate rial: silk shirt, wool socks, a cotton dress
Tip
Adjectives can also be placed at the end of a sentence if they describe the subject of a
sentence and appear after the verb.
Se n te n ce : My English teacher is excellent.
Exe rcis e 5
On a separate sheet of paper, place the following sets of adjectives in the correct order
before the noun. The first one has been done for you.
1. book: old, sm all, Spanish
a sm all old Spanish book (age, size, ethnicity)
2.
3.
4.
5.
photograph: new, strange
suit: wool, green, funny
opinion: refreshing, new
dress: fashionable, purple
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
The m ost basic sentence structure is a subject plus a verb that expresses a complete
thought.
Adding a prepositional phrase or a direct or indirect object to a sentence m akes it m ore
complex.
English speakers change a sentence into a question in one of the following two ways:
m oving the helping verb and adding a question mark or adding the verb do, does, or did
and adding a question mark.
Adjectives follow a particular order before the noun they describe. The order is opinion,
size, shape, age, color, ethnicity, and m aterial.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a paragraph about a m em orable fam ily trip. Use at least two adjectives to describe
each noun in your paragraph. Proofread your paragraph, an d then exchange papers with
a classm ate. Check your classm ate’s use of adjectives to m ake sure they are correct.
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4 .2 N e gative State m e n ts
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify a negative statem ent.
2. Write negative statem ents.
Negative statem ents are the opposite of positive statem ents and are necessary to express
an opposing idea. The following charts list negative words an d helping verbs that can be
com bined to form a negative statem ent.
N e ga tive W o rd s
never
nobody
no one
nowhere
no
none
not
hardly
scarcely
barely
rarely
Co m m o n H e lp in g Ve rbs
am
was
being
has
does
could
m ust
would
is
were
been
had
did
m ay
will
ought to
are
be
have
do
can
m ight
should
used to
The following exam ples show several ways to m ake a sentence negative in the present
tense.
1. A helping verb used with the negative word not.
Se n te n ce : My guests are arriving now.
N e ga tive : My guests are n o t arriving now.
2. The negative word no.
Se n te n ce : J ennie has m oney.
N e ga tive : J ennie h a s n o m oney.
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3. The contraction n’t.
Se n te n ce : J anetta does m iss her m om .
N e ga tive : J anetta d o e s n ’t m iss her m om .
4. The negative adverb rarely .
Se n te n ce : I always go to the gym after work.
N e ga tive : I rare ly go to the gym after work.
5. The negative subject nobody .
Se n te n ce : Everybody gets the day off.
N e ga tive : N o bo d y gets the day off.
Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite the positive sentences as n egative sentences. Be
sure to keep the senten ces in the present tense.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Everybody is happy about the m andatory lunch.
Deborah likes to visit online dating sites.
J ordan donates blood every six m onths.
Our writing instructor is very effective.
That beautiful papaya is cheap.
The following sentences show you the ways to m ake a sentence negative in the past
tense.
Se n te n ce : Paul called m e yesterday.
N e ga tive : Paul d id n o t call m e yesterday.
Se n te n ce : J am ilee went to the grocery store.
N e ga tive : J am ilee n e ve r w e n t to the grocery store.
Se n te n ce : Gina laughed when she saw the huge pile of laundry.
N e ga tive : Gina d id n o t lau gh when she saw the huge pile of laundry.
Notice that when form ing a negative in the past tense, the helping verb did is what
signals the past tense, and the m ain verb laugh does not have an -ed ending.
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Exe rcis e 2
Rewrite the following paragraph by correctin g the errors in the past-tense negative
sentences.
Celeste no did call m e when she reached North Carolina. I was worried because she not
drove alone before. She was going to m eet her friend, Terry, who lived in a town called
Asheville, North Carolina. I did never want to worry, but she said she was going to call
when she reached there. Finally, four hours later, she called and said, “Mom , I’m sorry I
did not call. I lost track of tim e because I was so happy to see Terry!” I was relieved.
Collaboration
Once you have found all the errors you can, please share with a classm ate and com pare
your answers. Did your partner find an error you m issed? Did you find an error your
partner m issed? Com pare with your instructor’s answers.
Double negatives are two negatives used in the sam e phrase or sentence. They are
considered incorrect in Standard English. You should avoid using double negatives in all
form al writing. If you want to say som ething negative, use only one negative word in the
sentence. Return to the beginning of this section for a list of negative words, and then
study the following exam ples.
Tip
Ain’t is considered a contraction of am not. Although som e m ay use it in everyday
speech, it is considered incorrect in Standard English. Avoid using it when speaking an d
writing in form al contexts.
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, correct the double negatives and rewrite the following
sentences.
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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
J ose didn’t like none of the choices on the m enu.
Brittany can’t m ake no friends with nobody.
The Southwest hardly had no rain last sum m er.
My kids never get into no trouble.
I could not do nothing about the past.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Negatives are usually form ed using a negative word plus a helping verb.
Double negatives are considered incorrect in Standard English.
Only one negative word is used to express a negative statem ent.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a paragraph describing your favorite m eal. Use rich, colorful language to describe
the m eal. Exchange papers with a classm ate and read his or her paragraph. Then rewrite
each sentence of your classm ate’s paragraph using negatives. Be sure to avoid double
negatives. Share your negative paragraphs with each other.
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4 .3 Co u n t an d N o n co u n t N o u n s an d Article s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Define and use count and noncount nouns.
2. Recognize and use definite and indefinite articles.
Nouns are words that nam e things, places, people, and ideas. Right now, you m ay be
surrounded by desks, com puters, and notebooks. These are called count nouns because
you can count the exact num ber of desks, com puters, and notebooks—three desks, one
com puter, and six notebooks, for exam ple.
On the other hand, you m ay be carrying a sm all am ount of m oney in your wallet and
sitting on a piece of furniture. These are called noncount nouns. Although you can count
the pieces of furniture or the am ount of m oney, you cannot add a num ber in front of
m oney or furniture and sim ply add -s to the end of the noun. Instead, you m ust use
other words and phrases to indicate the quantity of m oney and furniture.
In co rre ct: five m oneys, two furnitures
Co rre ct: som e m oney, two pieces of furniture
By the en d of , you will grasp the difference between the two types of nouns and be able
to use them confidently in speaking and writing.
Co u n t an d N o n co u n t N o u n s
A count noun refers to people, places, and things that are separate units. You m ake
count nouns plural by adding -s.
Table 4.1 Count Nouns
Co u n t N o u n
Quarter
Chair
Candidate
Adult
Com edian
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Se n te n ce
It takes six quarters to do m y laundry.
Make sure to push in your chairs before
leaving class.
The two candidates debated the issue.
The three adults in the room acted like
children.
The two com edians m ade the audience laugh.
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A noncount noun identifies a whole object that cannot separate an d count individually.
Noncount nouns m ay refer to concrete objects or abstract objects. A concrete noun
identifies an object you can see, taste, touch, or count. An abstract noun identifies an
object that you cannot see, touch, or count. There are som e exceptions, but m ost
abstract nouns cannot be m ade plural, so they are noncount nouns. Exam ples of
abstract nouns include anger, education, m elancholy, softness, violence, an d conduct.
Table 4.2 Types of Noncount Nouns
Type o f N o n co u n t N o u n
Food
Solids
Abstract Nouns
Exam p le s
sugar, salt, pepper, lettuce,
rice
concrete, chocolate, silver,
soap
peace, warmth, hospitality,
inform ation
Se n te n ce
Add more sugar to m y coffee,
please.
The ice cream was covered in
cream y chocolate.
I need m ore inform ation
about the insurance policy.
Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, label each of the following nouns as count or noncount.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Electricity _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Water _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Book _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sculpture _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Advice _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, identify whether the italicized noun in the sentence is a
count or noncount noun by writing C or N C above the noun.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The am ount of traffic on the way hom e was terrible.
Forgiveness is an important part of growing up.
I m ade caram el sauce for the organic apples I bought.
I prefer film cam eras instead of digital ones.
My favorite subject is history .
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D e fin ite an d In d e fin ite Article s
The word the is a defin ite article. It refers to one or m ore specific things. For exam ple,
the w om an refers to n ot any wom an but a particular wom an. The definite article the is
used before singular and plural count nouns.
The words a and an are indefinite articles. They refer to one nonspecific thing. For
exam ple, a w om an refers to any wom an, not a specific, particular wom an. The
indefinite article a or an is used before a singular count noun.
Definite Articles (The) and Indefinite Articles (A/ An) with Count Nouns
I saw th e concert. (singular, refers to a specific concert)
I saw th e concerts. (plural, refers to m ore than one specific concert)
I saw th e U2 concert last night. (singular, refers to a specific concert)
I saw a concert. (singular, refers to any nonspecific concert)
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, write the correct article in the blank for each of the
following sentences. Write OK if the sentence is correct.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
(A/ An/ The) cam el can live for days without water. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I enjoyed (a/ an/ the) pastries at the Bar Mitzvah. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(A/ An/ The) politician spoke of m any im portant issues. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I really enjoyed (a/ an/ the) actor’s perform ance in the play. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(A/ An/ The) goal I have is to run a m arathon this year. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Exe rcis e 4
Correct the m isused or m issing articles and rewrite the paragraph.
Stars are large balls of spinning hot gas like our sun. The stars look tiny because they are
far away. Many of them are m uch larger than sun. Did you know that a Milky Way
galaxy has between two hundred billion and four hundred billion stars in it? Scientists
estim ate that there m ay be as m any as five hundred billion galaxies in an entire
universe! J ust like a hum an being, the star has a life cycle from birth to death, but its
lifespan is billions of years long. The star is born in a cloud of cosm ic gas and dust called
a nebula. Our sun was born in the nebula nearly five billion years ago. Photographs of
the star-form ing nebulas are astonishing.
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Collaboration
Once you have found all the errors you can, share with a classm ate and com pare your
answers. Did your partner find an error you m issed? Did you find an error your partner
m issed? Com pare with your instructor’s answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
You can m ake count nouns plural by adding -s.
Count nouns are individual people, places, or things that can be counted, such as
politicians, deserts, or candles.
Noncount nouns refer to whole things that cannot be m ade plural, such as salt, peace, or
happiness.
The is a definite article and is used to refer to a specific person, place, or thing, such as
th e Queen of England.
A and an are indefinite articles, and they refer to nonspecific people, places, or things,
such as an apple or a bicycle.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write five sentences using the defin ite article the. Write five sentences using the
indefinite article a or an. Exchange papers with a classm ate and check each other’s
work.
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4 .4 Pro n o u n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Recognize subject and object pronouns.
2. Identify possessive pronouns.
3. Determ ine com m on pronoun errors.
A pronoun is a word that can be used in place of the noun. We use pronouns so we do
not have to repeat words. For exam ple, im agine writing the following sentence: Afrah
put her scarf on because Afrah was cold. The sentence sounds a bit strange because
Afrah is n am ed twice; however, if you use a pronoun, the sentence will be shorter and
less repetitive. You m ight rewrite the sentence to som ething sim ilar to the following:
Afrah put her scarf on because she was cold. She refers to Afrah, so you do not have to
write the nam e twice.
Typ e s o f P ro n o u n s
Subject pronouns are often the subject of a sentence—“who” and “what” the sentence is
about.
Se n te n ce : Sh e loves the desserts in France.
She is the subject.
Se n te n ce : By lunch tim e, th e y were hungry.
They is the subject.
Object pronouns are often the object of the verb— “who” or “what” was acted upon.
Se n te n ce : Melanie’s thoughtfulness touched h im .
Him is the object of the verb touched.
Se n te n ce : We lifted it.
It is the object of the verb lifted.
Tip
The m asculine subject pronoun is he, an d the m asculine object pronoun is him . The
fem inine subject pronoun is she, and the fem inine object pronoun is her.
A pronoun that shows possession or ownership is called a possessive pronoun.
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Se n te n ce : The teacher took h e r apple and left.
The pronoun her shows the teacher owns the apple.
Se n te n ce : The hikers spotted th e ir guide on the trail.
The pronoun their shows the hikers follow the guide who was assigned to the hikers.
Table 4.3 Pronouns
Subject Pronouns
Object Pronouns
Possessive Pronouns
I, you, he, she, it, we, they
m e, you, him , her, it, us, them
m y (m ine), your(s), his, hers, its, our(s),
their(s)
Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by circling the correct
pronoun.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Unfortunately, the house was too expensive for (we, us, they).
I completed (m ine, m y, your) research paper, and she com pleted (his, hers, theirs).
My dog Buster is old, but (he, it, them ) is very playful.
That ring belongs to m y father, so it is (hers, his, theirs).
I cannot find m y textbook, so I think (they, it, he) is lost.
Co m m o n Pro n o u n Erro rs
English language learners often m ake the sam e errors when using pronouns. The
following exam ples illustrate com m on errors.
In co rre ct: Me and Daniela went to the restaurant for lunch.
This senten ce is in correct because an object pronoun (m e) is used instead of a subject
pronoun.
Co rre ct: Daniela and I went to the restaurant for lunch.
This senten ce is now correct because a subject pronoun (I) is used.
In co rre ct: Mark put her grocery bag on the counter.
This senten ce is in correct because the pronoun her refers to a fem ale, and Mark is a
m ale.
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Co rre ct: Mark put h is grocery bag on the counter.
This senten ce is now correct because the m ale pronoun his refers to the m ale person,
Mark.
In co rre ct: The wom an she went to work earlier than usual.
This senten ce is in correct because the subject the w om an is repeated by the pronoun
she.
Co rre ct: Th e w o m an went to work earlier than usual.
Co rre ct: Sh e went to work earlier than usual.
These sentences are now correct because the unnecessary repeated subject has been
rem oved.
Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, correct the following sentences that have pronoun errors.
If the sentence is correct as it is, write OK.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Us are going to the county fair this weekend.
Steven did not want to see a m ovie because she had a headache.
The teacher congratulated Maria and m e.
The eighth grade students they were all behaving m ysteriously well.
Derrick and he received the best grade on the gram m ar test.
Re lative P ro n o u n s
A relative pronoun is a type of pronoun that helps connect details to the subject of the
sentence and m ay often com bine two shorter sentences. The relative pronouns are w ho,
w hom , w hose, w hich or that.
Se n te n ce : A relative pronoun is a type of pronoun.
The subject of this sentence is a relative pronoun. The clause is a ty pe of pronoun gives
som e inform ation about the subject.
The relative pronoun that m ay be added to give m ore details to the subject.
Se n te n ce u s in g a re lative p ro n o u n : A relative pronoun is a type of pronoun th a t
helps connect details to the subject of the sen tence.
Tip
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Rem em ber the following uses of relative pronouns:
•
•
•
W ho, w hom , and w hose refer only to people.
W hich refers to things.
That refers to people or things.
The following exam ples show how a relative pronoun m ay be used to connect two
sentences an d to connect details to the subject.
Se n te n ce 1: Gossip is a form of com m unication.
Se n te n ce 2 : It is a waste of tim e and energy.
Co m bin a tio n o f 1 an d 2 : Gossip is a form of com m unication th a t is a waste of tim e
and en ergy.
Notice how the relative pronoun that replaces the subject it in senten ce 2.
That is called a relative pronoun because it connects the details (is a w aste of tim e and
energy ) to the subject (Gossip).
Se n te n ce 1: My grandm other is eighty years old.
Se n te n ce 2 : She collects seashells.
Co m bin a tio n o f 1 an d 2 : My grandm other, w h o is eighty years old, collects seashells.
Notice how the relative pronoun w ho replaces the subject she in sentence 2.
W ho is called a relative pronoun because it connects the details (is eighty y ears old) to
the subject (My grandm other).
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by selecting the correct
relative pronoun.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
He showed m e a photo (who, that) upset m e.
Soccer is a fast m oving gam e (who, that) has m any fans worldwide.
J uan is a m an (which, who) has high standards for everything.
J am aica is a beautiful country (that, who) I would like to visit next year.
My m other only eats bananas (who, that) are green.
Exe rcis e 4
On a separate sheet of paper, com bine the two sentences into one sentence using a
relative pronoun.
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1.
2.
3.
4.
J eff is a dependable person. He will never let you down.
I rode a roller coaster. It was scary.
At the beach, I always dig m y feet into the sand. It protects them from the hot sun.
J ackie is trying not to use so m any plastic products. They are not good for the
environm ent.
5. My Aunt Sherry is teaching m e how to drive. She has never been in accident or gotten a
ticket.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
A pronoun is used in place of a noun.
There are several types of pronouns, including subject and object pronouns, possessive
pronouns, and relative pronouns.
Subject pronouns are the “who” and “what” the sentence is about.
Object pronouns are the “who” and “what” that receives the action.
A possessive pronoun is a pronoun showing ownership.
Com mon pronoun errors include m ixing up subject, object, and gender pronouns, and
repeating the subject of a sentence with a pronoun.
Relative pronouns help com bine two separate sentences.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Proofread a piece of your writing for the types of pronoun errors discussed in this
section. Correct any errors you com e across.
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4 .5 Ve rb Te n s e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Identify simple verb tenses.
Recognize to be, to have, and to do verbs.
Use perfect verb tenses.
Apply progressive verb tenses.
Define gerunds and infinitives.
You m ust always use a verb in every sentence you write. Verbs are parts of speech that
indicate actions or states of being. The m ost basic sentence structure is a subject
followed by a verb.
Sim p le Ve rb Te n s e s
Verb tenses tell the reader when the action takes place. The action could be in the past,
present, or future.
Pas t
Yesterday I ju m pe d .
← Pre s e n t →
Today I ju m p .
Fu tu re
Tomorrow I w ill ju m p .
Sim ple present verbs are used in the following situations:
1. When the action takes place now
I d rin k the water greedily.
2. When the action is som ething that happens regularly
I a lw ays cro s s m y fingers for good luck.
3. When describing things that are gen erally true
College tuition is very costly.
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Table 4.4 Regular Sim ple Present Tense Verbs
Ve rb
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
I
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
H e / Sh e / It
asks
bakes
cooks
coughs
claps
dances
erases
kisses
pushes
washes
Yo u
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
We
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
Th e y
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
When it is he, she, or it doing the present tense action, rem em ber to add -s, or -es to the
end of the verb or to change the y to -ies.
Sim ple past verbs are used when the action has already taken place and is now finished:
•
•
•
I w as h e d m y uniform last night.
I as ke d for m ore pie.
I co u gh e d loudly last night.
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Table 4.5 Regular Sim ple Past Tense Verbs
Ve rb
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
I
asked
baked
cooked
coughed
clapped
danced
erased
kissed
pushed
washed
H e / Sh e / It
asked
baked
cooked
coughed
clapped
danced
erased
kissed
pushed
washed
Yo u
asked
baked
cooked
coughed
clapped
danced
erased
kissed
pushed
washed
We
asked
baked
cooked
coughed
clapped
danced
erased
kissed
pushed
washed
Th e y
asked
baked
cooked
coughed
clapped
danced
erased
kissed
pushed
washed
When he, she, or it is doing the action in the past tense, rem em ber to add -d or -ed to the
end of regular verbs.
Sim ple future verbs are used when the action has not yet taken place:
•
•
•
I w ill w o rk late tom orrow.
I w ill kis s m y boyfriend when I see him .
I w ill e ras e the board after class.
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Table 4.6 Regular Sim ple Future Tense Verbs
Ve rb
ask
bake
cook
cough
clap
dance
erase
kiss
push
wash
I
will ask
will bake
will cook
will cough
will clap
will dance
will erase
will kiss
will push
will wash
H e / Sh e / It
will ask
will bake
will cook
will cough
will clap
will dance
will erase
will kiss
will push
will wash
Yo u
will ask
will bake
will cook
will cough
will clap
will dance
will erase
will kiss
will push
will wash
We
will ask
will bake
will cook
will cough
will clap
will dance
will erase
will kiss
will push
will wash
Th e y
will ask
will bake
will cook
will cough
will clap
will dance
will erase
will kiss
will push
will wash
Going to can also be added to the m ain verb to m ake it future tense:
•
I am go in g to go to work tomorrow.
Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by adding the verb in the
correct sim ple ten se.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Please do not (erase, erased, will erase) what I have written on the board.
They (dance, danced, will dance) for hours after the party was over.
Harrison (wash, washed, will wash) his laundry after several weeks had passed.
Yesterday Mom (ask, asked, will ask) m e about my plans for college.
I (bake, baked, will bake) several dozen cookies for tom orrow’s bake sale.
Exe rcis e 2
Correct the verb tense m istakes in the following paragraph.
Last sum m er, I walk around Walden Pond. Walden Pond is in Concord, Massachusetts.
It is where the philosopher Henry David Thoreau will live during the m id-nin eteenth
century. During his tim e there, he wrote a book called W alden. W alden is a book of
Thoreau’s reflections on the natural environm ent. It will be consider a classic in
Am erican literature. I did not know that Walden Pond is consider the birthplace of the
environm ental m ovem ent. It was very relaxin g there. I will listen to birds, frogs, and
crickets, not to m ention the peaceful sound of the pond itself.
Collaboration
Once you have found all the errors you can, please share with a classm ate and com pare
your answers. Did your partner find an error you m issed? Did you find an error your
partner m issed? Com pare with your instructor’s answers.
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To Be , To D o , an d To H a v e
There are som e irregular verbs in English that are form ed in special ways. The m ost
com m on of these are the verbs to be, to have, and to do.
Table 4.7 Verb Form s of To Be, To Do, and To Have
Bas e Fo rm
be
do
have
Pre s e n t Te n s e
Fo rm
am / is/ are
do/ does
have/ has
Pas t Te n s e Fo rm
was/ were
did
had
Fu tu re Te n s e Fo rm
will be
will do
will have
Tip
Mem orize the present tense form s of to be, to do, and to have. A son g or rhythm ic
pattern will m ake them easier to m em orize.
Review these exam ples of to be, to do, and to have used in senten ces.
Pas t
To Be
Yesterday I w as angry.
To D o
I d id m y best yesterday.
To H ave
Yesterday I h ad ten dollars.
← Pre s e n t →
Fu tu re
Today I am not angry.
Tomorrow I w ill be angry.
I d o m y best every day.
Tomorrow I w ill d o m y best.
Today I h ave ten dollars.
Tomorrow I w ill h ave ten
dollars.
Rem em ber the following uses of to be, to have and to do:
To Be
•
•
•
I → am / was/ will be
you/ we/ they → are/ were/ will be
he/ she/ it → is/ was/ will be
To Have
•
•
I/ you/ we/ they → have/ had/ will have
he/ she/ it → has/ had/ will have
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To Do
•
•
I/ you/ we/ they → do/ did/ will do
he/ she/ it → does/ did/ will do
Tip
Rem em ber, if you have a com pound subject like Marie and Jennifer, think of the
subject as they to determ ine the correct verb form .
•
Marie and J ennifer (they ) have a house on Bainbridge Island.
Sim ilarly, single n am es can be thought of as he, she, or it.
•
LeBron (he) has scored thirty points so far.
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by circling the correct
form of the verbs to be, to have, and to do in the three sim ple tenses.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Stefan always (do, does, will do) his taxes the day before they are due.
We (are, is, was) planning a surprise birthday party for m y mother.
Turtles (have, had, has) the m ost beautiful patterns on their shells.
I always (do, did, will do) m y hom ework before dinner, so I can eat in peace.
You (is, are, was) so m uch sm arter than you think!
Pe rfe ct Ve rb Te n s e s
Up to this point, we have studied the three sim ple verb tenses—sim ple present, sim ple
past, and sim ple future. Now we will add three m ore tenses, which are called perfect
tenses. They are present perfect, past perfect, and future perfect. These are the three
basic ten ses of English. A past participle is often called the -ed form of a verb because it
is form ed by adding -d or -ed to the base form of regular verbs. Past participles can also
end in -t or -en. Keep in m ind, however, the past participle is also form ed in various
other ways for irregular verbs. The past participle can be used to form the present
perfect tense.
Review the following basic form ula for the present perfect tense:
Su bje ct
I
+
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have
+
p as t p articip le
helped
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The present perfect ten se has a connection with the past and the present.
Use the present perfect tense to describe a continuing situation and to describe an
action that has just happened.
•
I h ave w o rke d as a caretaker since J une.
This senten ce tells us that the subject has worked as a caretaker in the past an d is
still working as a caretaker in the present.
•
Dm itri h a s just re ce ive d an award from the Dean of Students.
This senten ce tells us that Dm itri has very recently received the award. The word
just em phasizes that the action happened very recently.
Study the following basic form ula for the past perfect tense:
Su bje ct
I
•
+
h ad o r h ave
had
+
p as t p articip le
listened
The bus h ad le ft by the tim e Theo arrive d at the station.
Notice that both actions occurred entirely in the past, but one action occurred
before the other. At som e tim e in the past, Theo arrived (sim ple past tense) at the
station, but at som e tim e before that, the bus had left (past perfect).
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Look at the following basic form ula for the future perfect tense:
Su bje ct
I
+
w ill h ave
will have
+
p as t p articip le
graduated
The future perfect tense describes an action from the past in the future, as if the past
event has already occurred. Use the future perfect tense when you anticipate com pleting
an event in the future, but you have not com pleted it yet.
•
You w ill h ave fo rgo tte n m e after you m o ve to London.
Notice that both actions occur in the future, but one action will occur before the
other. At som e tim e in the future, the subject (y ou) w ill m ove (future tense) to
London, and at som e tim e after that, the subject w ill have forgotten (future
perfect tense) the speaker, m e.
Exe rcis e 4
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by using the correct
perfect verb tense for the verb in parentheses.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I plan to start a compost bin because I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to want) one for a long tim e now.
My brother told m e he _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to argue) with his friend about politics.
By the tim e we reach the m ountain top the sun _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to set).
Denise _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to walk) several m iles in the past three hours.
His mother _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to offer) to pay him to work in her office.
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Pro gre s s ive Ve rb Te n s e s
Progressive verb tenses describe a continuing or unfinished action, such as I am going, I
w as going, or I w ill be going.
The present progressive tense describes an action or state of being that takes place in the
present an d that continues to take place.
To m ake verbs in the present progressive tense, com bin e these two parts:
Pre s e n t te n s e
fo rm o f to be
am / is/ are
+
help
-ing ( p re s e n t
p articiple )
helping
You should use the present progressive ten se to describe a planned activity, to describe
an activity that is recurring right now, and to describe an activity that is in progress,
although not actually occurring at the tim e of speaking:
•
Preeti is s tartin g school on Tuesday.
This senten ce describes a planned activity.
•
J anetta is ge ttin g her teeth cleaned right now.
This senten ce describes an activity that is occurring right now.
•
I a m s tu d yin g ballet at school.
This senten ce describes an activity that is in progress but not actually occurring
at the tim e of speaking.
The past progressive tense describes an action or state of being that took place in the
past and that continues to take place.
To m ake verbs in the past progressive ten se, com bine these two parts:
Pas t te n s e fo rm o f to be
was/ were
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-in g ( pre s e n t participle )
helping
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You should use the past progressive tense to describe a continuous action in the past, to
describe a past activity in progress while another activity occurred, or to describe two
past activities in progress at the sam e tim e:
•
Ella and I w e re p lan n in g a vacation.
This senten ce describes a continuous action in the past.
•
I w as h e lp in g a custom er when I sm elled delicious fried chicken.
This senten ce describes a past activity in progress while another activity
occurred.
•
While I w as fin is h in g m y hom ework, m y wife w as talkin g on the phone.
This senten ce describes two past activities in progress at the sam e tim e.
The future progressive tense describes an action or state of being that will take place in
the future and that will continue to take place. The action will have started at that future
m om ent, but it will not have finished at that m om ent.
To m ake verbs in the future progressive tense, com bin e these parts:
Fu tu re te n s e fo rm o f to be
will be
+
-in g ( pre s e n t participle )
helping
Use the future progressive tense to describe an activity that will be in progress in the
future:
•
•
Sam antha and I w ill be d an cin g in the school play next week.
Tomorrow Agnes w ill be re ad in g two of her poem s.
Exe rcis e 5
On a separate sheet of paper, revise the following sentences, written in sim ple tenses,
using the progressive tenses indicated in parentheses.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
He prepared the food while I watched. (past progressive tense)
J onathan will speak at the conference. (future progressive)
J osie traveled to Egypt last J uly. (past progressive tense)
My foot aches, so I know it will rain. (present progressive tense)
Micah will talk a lot when I see him . (future progressive)
I yawn a lot because I feel tired. (present progressive tense)
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Sim ilar to the present perfect tense, the present perfect progressive tense is used to
indicate an action that was begun in the past and continues into the present. However,
the present perfect progressive is used when you want to stress that the action is
ongoing.
To m ake verbs in the present perfect progressive tense, com bine the following parts:
Pre s e n t te n s e
fo rm o f to have
has or have
•
+
Be e n
+
been
-in g ( pre s e n t
p articiple )
helping
She h a s be e n talkin g for the last hour.
This sentence indicates that she started talking in the past and is continuing to
talk in the present.
•
I h ave be e n fe e lin g tired lately.
This sentence indicates that I started feeling tired in the past, and I continue to
feel tired in the presen t. Instead of indicating tim e, as in the first sen tence, the
second senten ce uses the adverb lately . You can also use the adverb recently
when using the presen t perfect progressive tense.
Sim ilar to the past perfect tense, the past perfect progressive tense is used to indicate an
action that was begun in the past and continued until another tim e in the past. The past
perfect progressive does not continue into the present but stops at a designated m om ent
in the past.
To m ake verbs in the past perfect progressive tense, com bin e the following parts:
Pas t te n s e
fo rm o f to have
had
+
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been
+
-in g ( pre s e n t
p articiple )
helping
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•
The em ployees h a d be e n talkin g until their boss arrived.
This sentence indicates that the em ployees were talking in the past and they
stopped talking when their boss arrived, which also happened in the past.
•
I h a d be e n w o rkin g all day.
This senten ce im plies that I was working in the past. The action does not
continue into the future, and the senten ce im plies that the subject stopped
working for unstated reasons.
The future perfect progressive tense is rarely used. It is used to indicate an action that
will begin in the future and will continue until another tim e in the future.
To m ake verbs in the future perfect progressive tense, com bine the following parts:
Fu tu re te n s e
fo rm o f to have
will have
•
+
be e n
Been
+
-in g ( pre s e n t
p articiple )
helping
By the end of the m eeting, I w ill h a ve be e n h e arin g about m ortgages and
taxes for eight hours.
This sentence indicates that in the future I will hear about m ortgages and taxes
for eight hours, but it has not happened yet. It also indicates the action of hearing
will continue until the end of the m eeting, som ething that is also in the future.
Ge ru n d s
A gerund is a form of a verb that is used as a noun. All gerunds end in -ing. Sin ce
gerunds function as nouns, they occupy places in a sentence that a n oun would, such as
the subject, direct object, and object of a preposition.
You can use a gerund in the following ways:
1. As a s u bje ct
Trave lin g is Cynthia’s favorite pastim e.
2. As a d ire ct o bje ct
I enjoy jo ggin g.
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3. As an o bje ct o f a p ro p o s itio n
The librarian scolded m e for lau gh in g.
Often verbs are followed by gerunds. Study for exam ples.
Table 4.8 Gerunds and Verbs
Ge ru n d
m oving
cleaning
winning
worrying
taking
Ve rb Fo llo w e d by a Ge ru n d
Denise co n s id e re d m o vin g to Paris.
I h ate cle an in g the bathroom.
Nate im agin e s w in n in g an Oscar one day.
Mom says she h as s to pp e d w o rryin g.
She ad m itte d takin g the pumpkin.
In fin itive s
An infinitive is a form of a verb that com es after the word to and acts as a noun,
adjective, or adverb.
to + verb = infinitive
Exam ples of infinitives include to m ove, to sleep, to look, to throw, to read, and to
sneeze.
Often verbs are followed by infinitives. Study for exam ples.
Table 4.9 Infinitives and Verbs
In fin itive
to help
to arrive
to win
to close
to eat
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Ve rb Fo llo w e d by In fin itive
J essica o ffe re d to h e lp her m ove.
Mick e xp e cts to arrive early.
Sunita w an ts to w in the writing contest.
He fo rgo t to clo s e the curtains.
She like s to e at late.
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You m ay wonder which verbs can be followed by gerunds and which verbs can be
followed by infinitives. With the following verbs, you can use either a gerund or an
infinitive.
Table 4.10 Infin itives and Gerunds Verbs
Bas e Fo rm o f Ve rb
begin
hate
forget
like
continue
start
try
prefer
love
Se n te n ce s w ith Ve rbs Fo llo w e d by
Ge ru n d s a n d In fin itive s
1. J ohn be gan cryin g.
2. J ohn be gan to cry.
1. Marie h ate d talkin g on the phone.
2. Marie h ate d to talk on the phone.
1. Wendell fo rgo t payin g the bills.
2. Wendell fo rgo t to p ay the bills.
1. I like d le avin g m essages.
2. I like d to le ave m essages.
1. He co n tin u e d lis te n in g to the news.
2. He co n tin u e d to lis te n to the news.
1. I w ill s tart re cyclin g im m ediately.
2. I w ill s tart to re cycle im m ediately.
1. Mikhail w ill try clim bin g the tree.
2. Mikhail w ill try to clim b the tree.
1. I p re fe r bakin g.
2. I p re fe r to bake .
1. J osh lo ve s d ivin g.
2. J osh lo ve s to d ive .
Exe rcis e 6
On your own sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by choosing the correct
infinitive or gerund.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I m eant _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to kiss, kissing) m y kids before they left for school.
The children hoped (to go, going) to a restaurant for dinner.
Do you intend _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to eat, eating) the entire pie?
Crystal postponed _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to get dressed, getting dressed) for the party.
When we finish _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (to play, playing) this gam e, we will go hom e.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
Verb tenses tell the reader when the action takes place.
Actions could be in the past, present, or future.
There are som e irregular verbs in English that are form ed in special ways. The m ost
com mon of these irregular verbs are the verbs to be, to have, and to do.
There are six m ain verb tenses in English: sim ple present, sim ple past, sim ple future,
present perfect, past perfect, and future perfect.
Verbs can be followed by either gerunds or infinitives.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write about a lively event that is either rem em bered or im agin ed. Ask yourself the
following three questions: What happened during the event? What happened after the
event? Looking back, what do you think of the event now? Answer each question in a
separate paragraph to keep the present, past, and future tense verbs separate.
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4 .6 Mo d al Au xilia rie s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Define and identify m odal auxiliaries.
2. Learn how and when to use m odal auxiliaries.
We all need to express our m oods and em otions, both in writing and in our everyday
life. We do this by usin g m odal auxiliaries.
Mo d al Au xiliarie s
Modal auxiliaries are a type of helping verb that are used only with a m ain verb to help
express its m ood.
The following is the basic form ula for using a m odal auxiliary:
Su bje ct
+
J am es
m o d al
au xiliary
m ay
+
m ain ve rb
call
There are ten m ain m odal auxiliaries in English.
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Table 4.11 Modal Auxiliaries
Mo d al Au xiliary
Use
Mo d al Au xiliary + Main Ve rb
I can lift this forty-pound box. (ability)
can
Expresses an ability or possibility
We can e m brace green sources of energy.
(possibility)
I co u ld be at you at chess when we were
kids. (past ability)
could
Expresses an ability in the past; a present
possibility; a past or future perm ission
We co u ld bake a pie! (present possibility)
Co u ld we pick som e flowers from the
garden? (future perm ission)
I m ay atte n d the concert. (uncertain
future action)
m ay
Expresses uncertain future action; perm ission;
You m ay be gin the exam . (perm ission)
ask a yes-no question
May I atte n d the concert? (yes-no
questions)
m ight
Expresses uncertain future action
I m igh t atte n d the concert (uncertain
future action—sam e as m ay )
shall
Expresses intended future action
I s h all go to the opera. (intended future
action)
I s h o u ld m ail m y RSVP. (obligation,
sam e as ought to)
should
Expresses obligation; ask if an obligation exists
Sh o u ld I call m y mother? (asking if an
obligation exists)
I w ill ge t an A in this class. (intended
future action)
will
Expresses intended future action; ask a favor;
ask for inform ation
W ill you bu y m e som e chocolate? (favor)
W ill you be fin is h e d soon? (inform ation)
would
I w o u ld like the steak, please.
States a preference; request a choice politely; (preference)
explain an action; introduce habitual past
W o u ld you like to have breakfast in bed?
actions
(request a choice politely)
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Mo d al Au xiliary
Use
Mo d al Au xiliary + Main Ve rb
I w o u ld go with you if I didn’t have to
babysit tonight. (explain an action)
He w o u ld w rite to m e every week when
we were dating. (habitual past action)
m ust
Expresses obligation
We m u s t be on tim e for class.
ought to
Expresses obligation
I o u gh t to m ail m y RSVP. (obligation,
sam e as m ay)
Tip
Use the following format to form a yes-no question with a m odal auxiliary:
Mo d al
au xiliary
Should
+
s u bje ct
+
I
m ain ve rb
drive?
Be aware of these four com m on errors when using m odal auxiliaries:
1. Using an infinitive instead of a base verb after a m odal
In co rre ct: I can to m ove this heavy table.
Co rre ct: I can m o ve this heavy table.
2. Using a gerund instead of an infinitive or a base verb after a m odal
In co rre ct: I could m oving to the United States.
Co rre ct: I co u ld m o ve to the United States.
3. Using two m odals in a row
In co rre ct: I should must renew m y passport.
Co rre ct: I m u s t re n e w m y passport.
Co rre ct: I s h o u ld re n e w m y passport.
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4. Leaving out a m odal
In co rre ct: I renew m y passport.
Co rre ct: I m u s t re n e w m y passport.
Exe rcis e 1
Edit the following paragraph by correcting the com m on m odal auxiliary errors.
I m ay to go to France on vacation next sum m er. I shall m ight visit the Palace of
Versailles. I would to drive around the countryside. I could im aginin g m yself living
there; however, I will n ot m ove to France because m y fam ily should m iss m e very m uch.
Mo d als an d Pre s e n t Pe rfe ct Ve rb s
In the previous section, we defined present perfect verb tense as describing a continuing
situation or som ething that has just happened.
Rem em ber, when a sentence contains a m odal auxiliary before the verb, the helping
verb is always have.
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Be aware of the following com m on errors when using m odal auxiliaries in the present
perfect tense:
1. Using had instead of have
In co rre ct: J am ie would had attended the party, but he was sick.
Co rre ct: J am ie w o u ld h ave atte n d e d the party, but he was sick.
2. Leaving out have
In co rre ct: J am ie would attended the party, but he was sick.
Co rre ct: J am ie w o u ld h ave atte n d e d the party, but he was sick.
Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by changing the given
verb form to a m odal auxiliary in present perfect tense.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The m an _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (laugh).
The frogs _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (croak).
My writing teacher _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (sm ile).
The audience _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (cheer) all night.
My best friend _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (giggled).
Ke y Take aw ays
•
The basic form ula for using a m odal auxiliary is
subject
•
•
•
•
+
m odal auxiliary
+
m ain verb
There are ten m ain m odal auxiliaries in English: can, could, m ay , m ight, shall, should,
w ill, w ould, m ust, and ought to.
The four com mon types of errors when using modals include the following: using an
infinitive instead of a base verb after a modal, using a gerund instead of an infinitive or a
base verb after a m odal, using two modals in a row, and leaving out a m odal.
In the present perfect tense, when a sentence has a m odal auxiliary before the verb, the
helping verb is always have.
The two com mon errors when using m odals in the present perfect tense include using
had instead of have and leaving out have.
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W ritin g Applicatio n
On a separate sheet of paper, write ten origin al sentences using m odal auxiliaries.
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4 .7 P re p o s itio n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify prepositions.
2. Learn how and when to use prepositions.
A preposition is a word that connects a noun or a pronoun to another word in a
sentence. Most prepositions such as above, below , and behind usually indicate a
location in the physical world, but som e prepositions such as during, after, and until
show location in tim e.
In , At , an d O n
The prepositions in, at, and on are used to in dicate both location and tim e, but they are
used in specific ways. Study Table 4.12 " ", Table 4.13 " ", and Table 4.14 " " to learn
when to use each one.
Table 4.12 In
Pre p o s itio n
in
Tim e
year
m onth
season
tim e of day (not
with night)
Exam p le
in 1942
in August
in the summ er
Place
country
state
city
Exam p le
in Zim babwe
in California
in Chicago
Place
surfaces
streets
m odes of
transportation
Exam p le
on the table
on 124th Street
Exam p le
at 160 0
Pennsylvania
Avenue
at Rooney’s Grill
in the afternoon
Table 4.13 On
Pre p o s itio n
on
Tim e
day
date
specific
days/ dates
Exam p le
on Monday
on May 23
Tim e
Exam p le
Place
tim e
at five o’clock
addresses
with night
at night
location
on Monday
on the bus
Table 4.14 At
Pre p o s itio n
at
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Exe rcis e 1
Edit the following letter from a resident to her landlord by correctin g errors with in, at,
and on.
Dear Mrs. Salazar,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I will be vacating apartm en t 2A in 356 Maple
Street at Wednesday, J une 30 , 20 10 . I will be cleaning the apartm ent at the Monday
before I leave. I will return the keys to you on 5 p.m ., sharp, at J une 30 . If you have any
questions or specific in structions for m e, please contact m e in m y office. I have enjoyed
living at Austin, Texas, but I want to explore other parts of the country now.
Sincerely,
Milani Davis
Pre p o s itio n s afte r Ve rb s
Prepositions often follow verbs to create expressions with distin ct m eanings. These
expressions are som etim es called prepositional verbs. It is im portant to rem em ber that
these expressions cannot be separated.
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Table 4.15 Verbs + Prepositions
Ve rb +
Pre p o s itio n
Me an in g
Exam p le
My husband always agre e s
w ith m e.
agree with
to agree with som ething or som eone
apologize for
to express regret for something, to say sorry
I ap o lo gize fo r being late.
about som ething
apply for
to ask for som ething form ally
I will app ly fo r that job.
believe in
to have a firm conviction in som ething; to
believe in the existence of som ething
I be lie ve in educating the
world’s wom en.
care about
to think that som eone or som ething is
im portant
I care abo u t the health of our
oceans.
hear about
to be told about som ething or som eone
I h e ard abo u t the teachers’
strike.
look after
to watch or to protect som eone or som ething
Will you lo o k afte r m y dog
while I am on vacation?
talk about
to discuss som ething
We will talk abo u t the
im portance of recycling.
speak to, with
to talk to/ with som eone
I will s p e ak to his teacher
tomorrow.
wait for
to await the arrival of som eone or som ething
I will w ait fo r m y package to
arrive.
Tip
It is a good idea to m em orize these com binations of verbs plus prepositions. Write them
down in a notebook along with the definition and practice using them when you speak.
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Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by writing the correct
preposition after the verb.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Charlotte does not _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (apologize for, believe in) aliens or ghosts.
It is impolite to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (hear about, talk about) people when they are not here.
Herm an said he was going to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (believe in, apply for) the internship.
J onas would not _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (talk about, apologize for) eating the last piece of cake.
I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (care about, agree with) the environm ent very m uch.
Pre p o s itio n s afte r Ad je ctive s
Sim ilar to prepositions after verbs, prepositions after adjectives create expressions with
distinct m eanings unique to English. Rem em ber, like prepositional verbs, these
expressions also cannot be separated.
Table 4.16 Adjectives + Prepositions
Ad je ctive + Pre p o s itio n
angry at, about
Me an in g
to feel or show anger toward (or
about) som eone or som ething
confused about
to be unable to think with clarity
about som eone or som ething.
disappointed in, with
to feel dissatisfaction with som eone
or som ething
dressed in
to clothe the body
happy for
interested in
jealous of
thankful for
tired of
worried about
to show happiness for som eone or
som ething
giving attention to som ething,
expressing interest
to feel resentful or bitter toward
som eone or som ething (because of
their status, possessions, or ability)
to express thanks for som ething
to be disgusted with, have a
distaste for
to express anxiety or worry about
som ething
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Exam p le
I am an gry abo u t the oil spill in
the ocean.
Shawn was co n fu s e d abo u t the
concepts presented at the
m eeting.
I was d is ap p o in te d in m y
husband because he voted for
that candidate.
He was d re s s e d in a pin-striped
suit.
I was h appy fo r m y sister who
graduated from college.
I am in te re s te d in m usical
theater.
I was je alo u s o f her because she
always went on vacation.
I am th an kfu l fo r m y wonderful
friends.
I was tire d o f driving for hours
without end.
I am w o rrie d abo u t my father’s
health.
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Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, com plete the following sentences by writing the correct
preposition after the verb.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Meera was deeply _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (interested in, thankful for) m arine biology.
I was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (jealous of, disappointed in) the season finale of m y favorite show.
J ordan won the race, and I am _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (happy for, interested in) him.
The lawyer was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (thankful for, confused about) the details of the case.
Chloe was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (dressed in, tired of) a comfortable blue tunic.
Tip
The following adjectives are always followed by the preposition at:
•
Good
She is really go o d at chess.
•
Excellent
Henry is e xce lle n t at drawing.
•
Brilliant
Mary Anne is brillian t at playing the violin.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
The prepositions in, at, and on are used to indicate both location and tim e, but they are
used in specific ways.
The preposition in is used when expressing the following: year, month, season, tim e of
day (not with night), country, state, and city.
The preposition on is used to express day, date, and specific days or dates and surfaces,
streets, and transportation m odes.
The preposition at is used for expressions of tim e, with night, and with addresses and
locations.
Prepositions often follow verbs to create expressions with distinct m eanings that are
unique to English.
Prepositions also follow adjectives to create expressions with distinct m eanings that are
unique to English.
W ritin g Applicatio n
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Write about a happy childhood m em ory usin g as m any prepositions followed by verbs
and adjectives as you can. Use at least ten. When you are finished, exchange papers with
a classm ate an d correct any preposition errors you find.
4 .8 Slan g an d Id io m s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Recognize slang and idiom s.
2. Learn to avoid using slang and idiom s in form al writing.
Words are the basis of how a reader or listener judges you, the writer and speaker.
When you write an academ ic paper or speak in a business interview, you want to be sure
to choose your words carefully. In our casual, everyday talk, we often use a lot of “um s,”
“likes,” “yeahs,” an d so on. This everyday language is not appropriate for form al
contexts, such as academ ic papers and business interviews. You should switch between
different ways of speaking and writing depen ding on whether the context is form al or
inform al.
Slan g
Hey guys, let’s learn about slang and other cool stuff like that! It will be awesom e, trust
m e. This section is off the hook!
What do you notice about the previous paragraph? You m ight notice that the language
sounds inform al, or casual, like som eone m ight talk with a friend or fam ily m em ber. The
paragraph also uses a lot of slang. Slang is a type of language that is inform al and
playful. It often changes over tim e. The slang of the past is different than the slang of
today, but som e slang has carried over into the present. Slang also varies by region and
culture. The im portant thing to understand is that slang is casual talk, and you should
avoid using it in form al contexts. There are literally thousands of slang words and
expressions. Table 4.17 "Slang Expressions" explains just a few of the m ore com m on
term s.
Table 4.17 Slang Expressions
Slan g W o rd o r Ph ras e
check it out, check this out
chocoholic, workaholic, shopaholic
stuff
taking care of business
pro
crack up
veg (sounds like the veg in vegetable)
dude, m an
all-nighter
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Me an in g
v. look at, watch, exam ine
n. a person who loves, is addicted to
chocolate/ work/ shopping
n. things (used as a singular, noncount noun)
doing things that need to be done
n. a person who is a professional
v. to laugh uncontrollably
v. relax and do nothing
n. person, m an
n. studying all night
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cool
gross, nasty
pig out
screw up
awesom e
adj. good, fashionable
adj. disgusting
v. eat a lot, overeat
v. m ake a m istake
adj. great
Exe rcis e 1
Edit the business e-m ail by replacing any slang words and phrases with m ore form al
language.
Dear Ms. O’Connor:
I am writing to follow up on m y interview from last week. First of all, it was awesom e to
m eet you. You are a really cool lady. I believe I would be a pro at all the stuff you
m entioned that would be required of m e in this job. I am not a workaholic, but I do work
hard and “take care of business.” Haha. Please contact m e if you have any questions or
concerns.
Sincerely,
M. Ernest Anderson
Id io m s
Idiom s are expressions that have a m eaning different from the dictionary definitions of
the individual words in the expression. Because English contains m any idiom s,
nonnative English speakers have difficulties m aking logical sen se of idiom s and
idiom atic expressions. The m ore you are exposed to English, however, the m ore idiom s
you will com e to understand. Until then, m em orizing the m ore com m on idiom s m ay be
of som e help.
Table 4.18 Idiom s
Id io m
a blessing in
disguise
a piece of cake
better late than
never
get over it
I have no idea
not a chance
on pins and
needles
on top of the world
D e fin itio n
a good thing you do not recognize at first
easy to do
it is better to do som ething late than not
at all
recover from som ething (like a perceived
insult)
I don’t know
it will definitely not happen
very nervous about som ething that is
happening
feeling great
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pulling your leg
the sky is the lim it
m aking a joke by tricking another person
the possibilities are endless
What if you com e across an idiom that you do not understand? There are clues that can
help you. They are called context clues. Context clues are words or phrases around the
unknown word or phrase that m ay help you decipher its m eaning.
1. D e fin itio n o r e xp lan atio n clu e . An idiom m ay be explained im m ediately
after its use.
Se n te n ce : I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles I w as s o n e rvo u s .
2. Re s tate m e n t o r s yn o n ym clu e s . An idiom m ay be sim plified or restated.
Se n te n ce : The young girl felt as though she had been sent to the dog house
when her m other p u n is h e d h e r for fighting in school.
3. Co n tras t o r An to n ym clu e s . An idiom m ay be clarified by a contrasting
phrase or antonym that is near it.
Se n te n ce : Chynna thought the 5k m arathon would be a piece of cake, but it
tu rn e d o u t to be ve ry d ifficu lt.
Pay attention to the signal word but, which tells the reader that an opposite thought or
concept is occurring.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Inform al language is not appropriate in form al writing or speaking contexts.
Slang and idiom s m ight not m ake logical sense to nonnative speakers of English.
It is good to be aware of slang and idioms so they do not appear in your form al writing.
W ritin g Applicatio n
Write a short paragraph about yourself to a friend. Write another paragraph about
yourself to an em ployer. Exam ine and discuss the differences in language between the
two paragraphs.
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4 .9 H e lp fo r En glis h Lan gu age Le a rn e rs : En d -o f-Ch ap te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
Exe rcis e s
1. On a separate sheet of paper, create questions from the following sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
My daughter will have to think about her college options.
Otto is waiting in the car for his girlfriend.
The article talks about conserving energy.
We need to reduce our needs.
Rusha is always complaining about her work.
2. Underline the prepositional phrase in each of the following sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Monica told us about her trip.
I hope we have sunshine throughout the sum m er.
The panther climbed up the tree.
The little boy was standing behind his m other’s legs.
We stayed awake until dawn.
3. Place the following sets of adjectives in the correct order before the noun.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
eyes: black, m esm erizing
jacket: vintage, orange, suede
pineapple: ripe, yellow, sweet
vacation: fun, skiing
m ovie: hilarious, independent
4. On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite the positive sentences as n egative sentences.
Be sure to keep the sen tences in the present tense.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Som etim es I work on Saturdays.
The garden attracts butterflies and bees.
He breathes loudly at night.
I chew on blades of grass in the sum m er tim e.
I comm unicate well with m y husband.
5. On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite the following paragraph by correcting the
double negatives.
That m orning it was so hot Forrest felt like he couldn’t hardly breathe. Ain’t
nothing would get him out the door into that scorching heat. Then he
rem em bered his dog, Zeus, who started whining right then. Zeus was whining
and barking so m uch that Forrest didn’t have no choice but to get off the couch
and face the day. That dog didn’t do nothing but sniff around the bushes and try
to stay in the shade while Forrest was sweating in the sun holding the leash. He
couldn’t not wait for winter to com e.
Collaboration
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Once you have found all the errors you can, please share with a classm ate and com pare
your answers. Did your partner find an error you m issed? Did you find an error your
partner m issed? Com pare with your instructor’s answers.
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Ch apte r 5 W ritin g Paragraph s : Se p aratin g Id e as an d Sh ap in g
Co n te n t
5 .1 Pu rp o s e , Au d ie n ce , To n e , an d Co n te n t
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the four com mon academ ic purposes.
2. Identify audience, tone, and content.
3. Apply purpose, audience, tone, and content to a specific assignm ent.
Im agine reading one long block of text, with each idea blurring into the next. Even if you
are reading a thrilling novel or an interesting news article, you will likely lose interest in
what the author has to say very quickly. During the writing process, it is helpful to
position yourself as a reader. Ask yourself whether you can focus easily on each point
you m ake. One technique that effective writers use is to begin a fresh paragraph for each
new idea they introduce.
Paragraphs separate ideas into logical, m anageable chunks. On e paragraph focuses on
only one m ain idea and presents coherent sentences to support that one point. Because
all the sentences in one paragraph support the sam e point, a paragraph m ay stand on its
own. To create longer assignm ents and to discuss m ore than one point, writers group
together paragraphs.
Three elem ents shape the content of each paragraph:
1. Purpose. The reason the writer com poses the paragraph.
2. Tone. The attitude the writer conveys about the paragraph’s subject.
3. Audience. The individual or group whom the writer intends to address.
Figure 5.1 Purpose, Audience, Tone, and Content Triangle
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The assignm ent’s purpose, audience, and tone dictate what the paragraph covers and
how it will support one m ain point. This section covers how purpose, audience, an d tone
affect reading and writing paragraphs.
Id e n tifyin g Co m m o n Acad e m ic Pu rp o s e s
The purpose for a piece of writing identifies the reason you write a particular docum ent.
Basically, the purpose of a piece of writing answers the question “Why?” For exam ple,
why write a play? To entertain a packed theater. Why write instructions to the
babysitter? To inform him or her of your schedule and rules. Why write a letter to your
congressm an? To persuade him to address your com m unity’s needs.
In academ ic settings, the reasons for writing fulfill four m ain purposes: to sum m arize, to
analyze, to synthesize, and to evaluate. You will encounter these four purposes not only
as you read for your classes but also as you read for work or pleasure. Because reading
and writing work together, your writing skills will im prove as you read. To learn m ore
about reading in the writing process, see Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I
Begin?".
Eventually, your instructors will ask you to com plete assignm ents specifically designed
to m eet one of the four purposes. As you will see, the purpose for writing will guide you
through each part of the paper, helping you m ake decisions about content and style. For
now, identifying these purposes by reading paragraphs will prepare you to write
individual paragraphs and to build longer assignm ents.
Su m m a ry Pa ra gra p h s
A sum m ary shrinks a large am ount of inform ation into only the essentials. You probably
sum m arize events, books, and m ovies daily. Think about the last blockbuster m ovie you
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saw or the last novel you read. Chances are, at som e point in a casual conversation with
a friend, coworker, or classm ate, you com pressed all the action in a two-hour film or in a
two-hundred-page book into a brief description of the m ajor plot m ovem ents. While in
conversation, you probably described the m ajor highlights, or the m ain points in just a
few sentences, using your own vocabulary and m ann er of speaking.
Sim ilarly, a sum m ary paragraph condenses a long piece of writing into a sm aller
paragraph by extracting only the vital inform ation. A sum m ary uses only the writer’s
own words. Like the sum m ary’s purpose in daily conversation, the purpose of an
academ ic sum m ary paragraph is to m aintain all the essential inform ation from a longer
docum ent. Although shorter than the original piece of writing, a sum m ary should still
com m unicate all the key points and key support. In other words, sum m ary paragraphs
should be succinct and to the point.
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A sum m ary of the report should present all the m ain points and supporting details in
brief. Read the following sum m ary of the report written by a student:
Notice how the sum m ary retains the key points m ade by the writers of the original
report but om its m ost of the statistical data. Sum m aries need not contain all the specific
facts and figures in the original docum ent; they provide only an overview of the essential
inform ation.
An alys is Paragra p h s
An analysis separates com plex m aterials in their different parts and studies how the
parts relate to one another. The analysis of sim ple table salt, for exam ple, would require
a deconstruction of its parts—the elem ents sodium (Na) and chloride (Cl). Then,
scientists would study how the two elem ents interact to create the com pound NaCl, or
sodium chloride, which is also called sim ple table salt.
Analysis is not lim ited to the sciences, of course. An analysis paragraph in academ ic
writing fulfills the sam e purpose. Instead of deconstructing com pounds, academ ic
analysis paragraphs typically deconstruct docum ents. An analysis takes apart a prim ary
source (an essay, a book, an article, etc.) point by point. It com m unicates the m ain
points of the docum ent by exam ining individual points and identifying how the points
relate to one another.
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Take a look at a student’s analysis of the journal report.
Notice how the analysis does not sim ply repeat inform ation from the original report, but
considers how the poin ts within the report relate to one another. By doing this, the
student uncovers a discrepancy between the points that are backed up by statistics an d
those that require additional inform ation. Analyzing a docum ent involves a close
exam ination of each of the individual parts and how they work together.
Syn th e s is P aragra p h s
A synthesis com bines two or m ore item s to create an entirely new item . Consider the
electronic m usical instrum ent aptly nam ed the synthesizer. It looks like a sim ple
keyboard but displays a dashboard of switches, buttons, and levers. With the flip of a
few switches, a m usician m ay com bine the distinct sounds of a piano, a flute, or a
guitar—or any other com bination of instrum ents—to create a new sound. The purpose of
the synthesizer is to blend together the notes from individual instrum ents to form new,
unique notes.
The purpose of an academ ic synthesis is to blend individual docum ents into a new
docum ent. An academ ic synthesis paragraph considers the m ain points from one or
m ore pieces of writing and links the m ain points together to create a new point, one not
replicated in either docum ent.
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Take a look at a student’s synthesis of several sources about underage drinking.
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Notice how the synthesis paragraphs consider each source an d use inform ation from
each to create a new thesis. A good synthesis does not repeat inform ation; the writer
uses a variety of sources to create a new idea.
Evalu atio n Pa ra grap h s
An evaluation judges the value of som ething and determ ines its worth. Evaluations in
everyday experiences are often not only dictated by set standards but also influenced by
opinion and prior knowledge. For exam ple, at work, a supervisor m ay com plete an
em ployee evaluation by judging his subordinate’s perform ance based on the com pany’s
goals. If the com pany focuses on im proving com m unication, the supervisor will rate the
em ployee’s custom er service according to a standard scale. However, the evaluation still
depen ds on the supervisor’s opinion and prior experience with the em ployee. The
purpose of the evaluation is to determ in e how well the em ployee perform s at his or her
job.
An academ ic evaluation com m unicates your opinion, an d its justifications, about a
docum ent or a topic of discussion. Evaluations are influenced by your reading of the
docum ent, your prior knowledge, and your prior experience with the topic or issue.
Because an evaluation incorporates your point of view and reason s for your point of
view, it typically requires m ore critical thinkin g and a com bin ation of sum m ary,
analysis, and synthesis skills. Thus evaluation paragraphs often follow sum m ary,
analysis, and synthesis paragraphs. Read a student’s evaluation paragraph.
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Notice how the paragraph in corporates the student’s personal judgm ent within the
evaluation. Evaluating a docum ent requires prior knowledge that is often based on
additional research.
Tip
When reviewing directions for assignm ents, look for the verbs sum m arize, analy ze,
sy nthesize, or evaluate. Instructors often use these words to clearly indicate the
assignm ent’s purpose. These words will cue you on how to com plete the assignm ent
because you will know its exact purpose.
Exe rcis e 1
Read the following paragraphs about four film s and then identify the purpose of each
paragraph.
1. This film could easily have been cut down to less than two hours. By the final scene, I
noticed that m ost of m y fellow m oviegoers were snoozing in their seats and were barely
paying attention to what was happening on screen. Although the director sticks diligently
to the book, he tries too hard to cram in all the action, which is just too ambitious for
such a detail-oriented story. If you want m y advice, read the book and give the m ovie a
m iss.
2. During the opening scene, we learn that the character Laura is adopted and that she has
spent the past three years desperately trying to track down her real parents. Having
exhausted all the usual options—adoption agencies, online searches, fam ily trees, and so
on—she is on the verge of giving up when she m eets a stranger on a bus. The chance
encounter leads to a complicated chain of events that ultim ately result in Laura getting
her lifelong wish. But is it really what she wants? Throughout the rest of the film , Laura
discovers that som etim es the past is best left where it belongs.
3. To create the feeling of being gripped in a vice, the director, May Lee, uses a variety of
elem ents to gradually increase the tension. The creepy, haunting m elody that subtly
enhances the earlier scenes becom es ever m ore insistent, rising to a disturbing crescendo
toward the end of the m ovie. The desperation of the actors, com bined with the
claustrophobic atmosphere and tight cam era angles create a realistic firestorm, from
which there is little hope of escape. Walking out of the theater at the end feels like
staggering out of a Rom an dungeon.
4. The scene in which Campbell and his fellow prisoners assist the guards in shutting down
the riot imm ediately strikes the viewer as unrealistic. Based on the recent reports on
prison riots in both Detroit and California, it seem s highly unlikely that a posse of
hardened crim inals will intentionally help their captors at the risk of inciting future
revenge from other inm ates. Instead, both news reports and psychological studies
indicate that prisoners who do not actively participate in a riot will go back to their cells
and avoid conflict altogether. Exam ples of this lack of attention to detail occur
throughout the film, m aking it alm ost unbearable to watch.
Collaboration
Share with a classm ate and com pare your answers.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Thinking about the purpose of writing a report in the workplace can help focus and
structure the docum ent. A sum m ary should provide colleagues with a factual overview
of your findings without going into too much specific detail. In contrast, an evaluation
should include your personal opinion, along with supporting evidence, research, or
exam ples to back it up. Listen for words such as sum m arize, analy ze, sy nthesize, or
evaluate when your boss asks you to com plete a report to help determ ine a purpose for
writing.
Exe rcis e 2
Consider the essay m ost recently assigned to you. Identify the m ost effective academ ic
purpose for the assignm ent.
My assignm ent: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Id e n tifyin g th e Au d ie n ce
Im agine you m ust give a presentation to a group of executives in an office. Weeks before
the big day, you spen d tim e creating and rehearsing the presentation. You m ust m ake
im portant, careful decisions not only about the content but also about your delivery.
Will the presentation require technology to project figures and charts? Should the
presentation define im portant words, or will the executives already know the term s?
Should you wear your suit and dress shirt? The answers to these questions will help you
develop an appropriate relationship with your audience, m aking them m ore receptive to
your m essage.
Now im agine you m ust explain the sam e business concepts from your presentation to a
group of high school students. Those im portant questions you previously answered m ay
now require different answers. The figures and charts m ay be too sophisticated, and the
term s will certainly require definitions. You m ay even reconsider your outfit and sport a
m ore casual look. Because the audience has shifted, your presentation and delivery will
shift as well to create a new relationship with the new audience.
In these two situations, the audience—the individuals who will watch and listen to the
presentation—plays a role in the developm ent of presentation. As you prepare the
presentation, you visualize the audience to anticipate their expectations and reactions.
What you im agine affects the inform ation you choose to present and how you will
present it. Then, durin g the presentation, you m eet the audience in person an d discover
im m ediately how well you perform .
Although the audience for writing assignm ents—your readers—m ay not appear in
person, they play an equally vital role. Even in everyday writing activities, you identify
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your readers’ characteristics, interests, and expectations before m aking decisions about
what you write. In fact, thinking about audience has becom e so com m on that you m ay
not even detect the audience-driven decisions.
For exam ple, you update your status on a social networking site with the awaren ess of
who will digitally follow the post. If you want to brag about a good grade, you m ay write
the post to please fam ily m em bers. If you want to describe a funny m om ent, you m ay
write with your friends’ senses of hum or in m ind. Even at work, you send e-m ails with
an awareness of an unintended receiver who could intercept the m essage.
In other words, being aware of “invisible” readers is a skill you m ost likely already
possess and one you rely on every day. Consider the following paragraphs. Which one
would the author send to her parents? Which one would she sen d to her best friend?
Exam ple A
Last Saturday, I volunteered at a local hospital. The visit was fun and rewarding. I even
learned how to do cardiopulm onary resuscitation, or CPR. Unfortunately, I think caught
a cold from one of the patients. This week, I will rest in bed and drink plenty of clear
fluids. I hope I am well by next Saturday to volunteer again.
Exam ple B
OMG! You won’t believe this! My advisor forced m e to do m y com m unity service hours
at this hospital all weekend! We learned CPR but we did it on dum m ies, not even real
peeps. An d som e kid sneezed on m e and got m e sick! I was so bored and sniffling all
weekend; I hope I don’t have to go back next week. I def do NOT want to m iss the
basketball tournam ent!
Most likely, you m atched each paragraph to its intended audience with little hesitation.
Because each paragraph reveals the author’s relationship with her in tended readers, you
can identify the audience fairly quickly. When writing your own paragraphs, you m ust
engage with your audience to build an appropriate relationship given your subject.
Im agining your readers during each stage of the writing process will help you m ake
decisions about your writing. Ultim ately, the people you visualize will affect what and
how you write.
Tip
While giving a speech, you m ay articulate an inspiring or critical m essage, but if you left
your hair a m ess and laced up m ism atched shoes, your audience would not take you
seriously. They m ay be too distracted by your appearance to listen to your words.
Sim ilarly, gram m ar and senten ce structure serve as the appearance of a piece of writing.
Polishing your work using correct gram m ar will im press your readers and allow them to
focus on what you have to say.
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Because focusing on audience will enhance your writing, your process, and your finished
product, you m ust consider the specific traits of your audience m em bers. Use your
im agination to anticipate the readers’ dem ographics, education, prior knowledge, and
expectations.
•
•
•
•
D e m o graph ics . These m easure im portant data about a group of people, such as their
age range, their ethnicity, their religious beliefs, or their gender. Certain topics and
assignm ents will require these kinds of considerations about your audience. For other
topics and assignm ents, these m easurem ents m ay not influence your writing in the end.
Regardless, it is important to consider dem ographics when you begin to think about your
purpose for writing.
Ed u catio n . Education considers the audience’s level of schooling. If audience m em bers
have earned a doctorate degree, for exam ple, you m ay need to elevate your style and use
m ore form al language. Or, if audience m embers are still in college, you could write in a
m ore relaxed style. An audience m em ber’s m ajor or em phasis m ay also dictate your
writing.
Prio r kn o w le d ge . This refers to what the audience already knows about your topic. If
your readers have studied certain topics, they m ay already know som e term s and
concepts related to the topic. You m ay decide whether to define terms and explain
concepts based on your audience’s prior knowledge. Although you cannot peer inside the
brains of your readers to discover their knowledge, you can m ake reasonable
assumptions. For instance, a nursing m ajor would presum ably know more about healthrelated topics than a business m ajor would.
Exp e ctatio n s . These indicate what readers will look for while reading your assignm ent.
Readers m ay expect consistencies in the assignm ent’s appearance, such as correct
gram m ar and traditional form atting like double-spaced lines and legible font. Readers
m ay also have content-based expectations given the assignm ent’s purpose and
organization. In an essay titled “The Econom ics of Enlightenm ent: The Effects of Rising
Tuition,” for exam ple, audience m em bers m ay expect to read about the econom ic
repercussions of college tuition costs.
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Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, generate a list of characteristics under each category for
each audience. This list will help you later when you read about tone and content.
1. Your classm ates
o
o
o
o
Dem ographics _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Education _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prior knowledge _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Expectations _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2. Your instructor
o
o
o
o
Dem ographics _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Education _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prior knowledge _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Expectations _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
3. The head of your academ ic departm ent
o
o
o
o
Dem ographics _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Education _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prior knowledge _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Expectations _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
4. Now think about your next writing assignm ent. Identify the purpose (you m ay
use the sam e purpose listed in Note 5.12 "Exercise 2"), and then identify the
audience. Create a list of characteristics under each category.
My assignm ent: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My audience: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
o
o
o
o
Dem ographics _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Education _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prior knowledge _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Expectations _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Keep in m in d that as your topic shifts in the writing process, your audience m ay also
shift. For m ore inform ation about the writing process, see Chapter 7 "The Writing
Process: How Do I Begin?".
Also, rem em ber that decisions about style depend on audience, purpose, and content.
Identifying your audience’s dem ographics, education, prior knowledge, and
expectations will affect how you write, but purpose and content play an equally
im portant role. The next subsection covers how to select an appropriate tone to m atch
the audience and purpose.
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Se le ctin g an Ap p ro p riate To n e
Tone identifies a speaker’s attitude toward a subject or another person. You m ay pick up
a person’s tone of voice fairly easily in conversation. A friend who tells you about her
weekend m ay speak excitedly about a fun skiing trip. An instructor who m eans busin ess
m ay speak in a low, slow voice to em phasize her serious m ood. Or, a coworker who
needs to let off som e steam after a long m eeting m ay crack a sarcastic joke.
J ust as speakers transm it em otion through voice, writers can transm it through writing a
range of attitudes, from excited and hum orous to som ber and critical. These em otions
create connections am ong the audience, the author, and the subject, ultim ately building
a relationship between the audience and the text. To stim ulate these connections,
writers intim ate their attitudes and feelings with useful devices, such as senten ce
structure, word choice, punctuation, and form al or inform al language. Keep in m ind
that the writer’s attitude should always appropriately m atch the audience and the
purpose.
Read the following paragraph and consider the writer’s tone. How would you describe
the writer’s attitude toward wildlife conservation?
Many species of plants and anim als are disappearing right before our eyes. If we don’t
act fast, it m ight be too late to save them . Hum an activities, in cluding pollution,
deforestation, hunting, and overpopulation, are devastating the natural environm ent.
Without our help, m any species will not survive long enough for our children to see
them in the wild. Take the tiger, for exam ple. Today, tigers occupy just 7 percent of their
historical range, an d m any local populations are already extinct. Hunted for their
beautiful pelt and other body parts, the tiger population has plum m eted from one
hundred thousand in 1920 to just a few thousand. Contact your local wildlife
conservation society today to find out how you can stop this terrible destruction.
Exe rcis e 4
Think about the assignm ent and purpose you selected in Note 5.12 "Exercise 2", and the
audience you selected in Note 5.16 "Exercise 3". Now, identify the tone you would use in
the assignm ent.
My assignm ent: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My audience: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My tone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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Ch o o s in g Ap p ro p riate , In te re s tin g Co n te n t
Content refers to all the written substance in a docum ent. After selecting an audience
and a purpose, you m ust choose what inform ation will m ake it to the page. Content m ay
consist of exam ples, statistics, facts, anecdotes, testim onies, and observations, but no
m atter the type, the inform ation m ust be appropriate and interesting for the audience
and purpose. An essay written for third graders that sum m arizes the legislative process,
for exam ple, would have to contain succinct and sim ple content.
Content is also shaped by tone. When the tone m atches the content, the audience will be
m ore engaged, and you will build a stronger relationship with your readers. Consider
that audience of third graders. You would choose sim ple content that the audience will
easily understand, and you would express that content through an enthusiastic tone.
The sam e considerations apply to all audiences an d purposes.
Exe rcis e 5
Match the content in the box to the appropriate audience and purpose. On your own
sheet of paper, write the correct letter next to the num ber.
1. Whereas economist Holm es contends that the financial crisis is far from over, the
presidential advisor J ones points out that it is vital to catch the first wave of opportunity
to increase m arket share. We can use elem ents of both experts’ visions. Let m e explain
how.
2. In 20 0 0 , foreign m oney flowed into the United States, contributing to easy credit
conditions. People bought larger houses than they could afford, eventually defaulting on
their loans as interest rates rose.
3. The Em ergency Econom ic Stabilization Act, known by m ost of us as the hum ungous
governm ent bailout, caused m ixed reactions. Although supported by m any political
leaders, the statute provoked outrage am ong grassroots groups. In their opinion, the
governm ent was actually rewarding banks for their appalling behavior.
1. Audience: An instructor
Purpose: To analyze the reasons behind the 20 0 7 financial crisis
Content: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2. Audience: Classm ates
Purpose: To sum m arize the effects of the $ 70 0 billion governm ent bailout
Content: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
3. Audience: An em ployer
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Purpose: To synthesize two articles on preparing businesses for econ om ic
recovery
Content: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Exe rcis e 6
Using the assignm ent, purpose, audience, and tone from Note 5.18 "Exercise 4",
generate a list of content ideas. Rem em ber that content consists of exam ples, statistics,
facts, anecdotes, testim onies, and observations.
My assignm ent: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My audience: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My tone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My content ideas: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
Paragraphs separate ideas into logical, m anageable chunks of inform ation.
The content of each paragraph and docum ent is shaped by purpose, audience, and tone.
The four com mon academ ic purposes are to summ arize, to analyze, to synthesize, and to
evaluate.
Identifying the audience’s dem ographics, education, prior knowledge, and expectations
will affect how and what you write.
Devices such as sentence structure, word choice, punctuation, and form al or inform al
language com m unicate tone and create a relationship between the writer and his or her
audience.
Content m ay consist of exam ples, statistics, facts, anecdotes, testimonies, and
observations. All content m ust be appropriate and interesting for the audience, purpose
and tone.
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5 .2 Effe ctive Me an s fo r W ritin g a P a ragrap h
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify characteristics of a good topic sentence.
2. Identify the three parts of a developed paragraph.
3. Apply knowledge of topic sentences and parts of a developed paragraph in an
assignm ent.
Now that you have identified com m on purposes for writing and learned how to select
appropriate content for a particular audience, you can think about the structure of a
paragraph in greater detail. Com posing an effective paragraph requires a m ethod
sim ilar to building a house. You m ay have the finest content, or m aterials, but if you do
not arrange them in the correct order, then the final product will not hold together very
well.
A strong paragraph contains three distin ct com ponents:
1. Topic sentence. The topic sentence is the m ain idea of the paragraph.
2. Body. The body is composed of the supporting sentences that develop the m ain point.
3. Conclusion. The conclusion is the final sentence that sum m arizes the m ain point.
The foundation of a good paragraph is the topic sentence, which expresses the m ain idea
of the paragraph. The topic sentence relates to the thesis, or m ain point, of the essay
(see Chapter 8 "Writin g Essays: From Start to Finish" for m ore inform ation about thesis
statem ents) and guides the reader by signposting what the paragraph is about. All the
sentences in the rest of the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence.
This section covers the m ajor com ponents of a paragraph and exam ines how to develop
an effective topic sentence.
D e ve lo p in g a To p ic Se n te n ce
Pick up any newspaper or m agazine and read the first sentence of an article. Are you
fairly confident that you know what the rest of the article is about? If so, you have likely
read the topic sentence. An effective topic sentence com bines a m ain idea with the
writer’s personal attitude or opin ion. It serves to orient the reader and provides an
indication of what will follow in the rest of the paragraph. Read the following exam ple.
Creating a n ational set of standards for m ath and English education will im prove
student learning in m any states.
This topic sentence declares a favorable position for standardizing m ath and English
education. After readin g this sentence, a reader m ight reasonably expect the writer to
provide supporting details an d facts as to why standardizing m ath and English
education m ight im prove student learning in m any states. If the purpose of the essay is
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actually to evaluate education in only one particular state, or to discuss m ath or English
education specifically, then the topic sentence is m isleading.
Tip
When writing a draft of an essay, allow a friend or colleague to read the opening line of
your first paragraph. Ask your reader to predict what your paper will be about. If he or
she is unable to guess your topic accurately, you should consider revising your topic
sentence so that it clearly defines your purpose in writing.
Main Id e a ve rs u s Co n tro llin g Id e a
Topic sentences contain both a m ain idea (the subject, or topic that the writer is
discussing) and a controlling idea (the writer’s specific stance on that subject). J ust as a
thesis statem ent includes an idea that controls a docum ent’s focus (as you will read
about in Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?"), a topic senten ce m ust also
contain a controlling idea to direct the paragraph. Different writers m ay use the sam e
m ain idea but can steer their paragraph in a num ber of different directions according to
their stance on the subject. Read the following exam ples.
•
•
•
Marijuana is a destructive influence on teens and causes long-term brain dam age.
The antinausea properties in m arijuana are a lifeline for m any cancer patients.
Legalizing m arijuana would create a higher dem and for Class A and Class B drugs.
Although the m ain idea—m arijuana—is the sam e in all three topic sentences, the
controlling idea differs depen ding on the writer’s viewpoint.
Exe rcis e 1
Circle the m ain idea an d underline the controlling idea in each of the following topic
sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Exercising three tim es a week is the only way to m aintain good physical health.
Sexism and racism are still ram pant in today’s workplace.
Raising the legal driving age to twenty-one would decrease road traffic accidents.
Owning a business is the only way to achieve financial success.
Dog owners should be prohibited from taking their pets on public beaches.
Ch aracte ris tics o f a Go o d To p ic Se n te n ce
Five characteristics define a good topic senten ce:
1. A good topic sentence provides an accurate indication of what will follow in the
rest of the paragraph.
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W e ak e xam p le . People rarely give firefighters the credit they deserve for such a
physically and em otionally dem anding job. (The paragraph is about a specific
incident that involved firefighters; therefore, this topic sentence is too general.)
Stro n ge r e xam p le . During the October riots, Unit 3B went beyond the call of
duty. (This topic sentence is m ore specific an d indicates that the paragraph will
contain inform ation about a particular incident involving Unit 3B.)
2. A good topic sentence contains both a topic and a controlling idea or opinion.
W e ak e xam p le . In this paper, I am going to discuss the rising suicide rate
am ong young professionals. (This topic sentence provides a m ain idea, but it does
not present a controlling idea, or thesis.)
Stro n ge r e xam p le . The rising suicide rate am ong young professionals is a
cause for im m ediate concern. (This topic sentence presents the writer’s opinion
on the subject of rising suicide rates am ong young professionals.)
3. A good topic sentence is clear and easy to follow.
W e ak e xam p le . In general, writing an essay, thesis, or other academ ic or
nonacadem ic docum ent is considerably easier and of m uch higher quality if you
first construct an outline, of which there are m any different types. (This topic
sentence includes a m ain idea and a controlling thesis, but both are buried
beneath the confusing sentence structure and unnecessary vocabulary. These
obstacles m ake it difficult for the reader to follow.)
Stro n ge r e xam p le . Most form s of writing can be im proved by first creating an
outline. (This topic sen tence cuts out unnecessary verbiage and sim plifies the
previous statem ent, m aking it easier for the reader to follow.)
4. A good topic sentence does not include supporting details.
W e ak e xam p le . Salaries should be capped in baseball for m any reasons, m ost
im portantly so we don’t allow the sam e team to win year after year. (This topic
sentence includes a supporting detail that should be included later in the
paragraph to back up the m ain point.)
Stro n ge r e xam p le . Introducing a salary cap would im prove the gam e of
baseball for m any reasons. (This topic senten ce om its the additional supporting
detail so that it can be expanded upon later in the paragraph.)
5. A good topic sentence engages the reader by using interesting vocabulary.
W e ak e xam p le . The m ilitary deserves better equipm ent. (This topic senten ce
includes a m ain idea and a controlling thesis, but the language is bland and
unexciting.)
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Stro n ge r e xam p le . The appalling lack of resources provided to the m ilitary is
outrageous and requires our im m ediate attention. (This topic senten ce reiterates
the sam e idea an d controlling thesis, but adjectives such as appalling and
im m ediate better engage the reader. These words also in dicate the writer’s tone.)
Exe rcis e 2
Choose the m ost effective topic senten ce from the following sentence pairs.
1. a. This paper will discuss the likelihood of the Dem ocrats winning the next
election.
b. To boost their chances of winning the n ext election, the Dem ocrats need to
listen to public opinion.
2. a. The unrealistic dem ands of union workers are crippling the econom y for three
m ain reasons.
b. Union workers are crippling the econom y because com panies are unable to
rem ain com petitive as a result of added financial pressure.
3. a. Authors are losing m oney as a result of technological advances.
b. The introduction of new technology will devastate the literary world.
4. a. Rap m usic is produced by untalented individuals with oversized egos.
b. This essay will consider whether talent is required in the rap m usic industry.
Exe rcis e 3
Using the tips on developing effective topic sentences in this section, create a topic
sentence on each of the following subjects. Rem em ber to in clude a controlling idea as
well as a m ain idea. Write your responses on your own sheet of paper.
1. An endangered species
____________________________________________
2. The cost of fuel
____________________________________________
3. The legal drinking age
____________________________________________
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4. A controversial film or novel
____________________________________________
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W ritin g at W o rk
When creating a workplace docum ent, use the “top-down” approach—keep the topic
sentence at the beginning of each paragraph so that readers im m ediately understand the
gist of the m essage. This m ethod saves busy colleagues precious tim e and effort trying to
figure out the m ain points and relevant details.
Headings are another helpful tool. In a text-heavy docum ent, break up each paragraph
with individual headin gs. These serve as useful navigation aids, enabling colleagues to
skim through the docum ent and locate paragraphs that are relevant to them .
D e ve lo p in g P aragrap h s Th at U s e To p ic Se n te n ce s , Su p p o rtin g Id e a s ,
an d Tran s itio n s Effe ctive ly
Learning how to develop a good topic senten ce is the first step toward writing a solid
paragraph. Once you have com posed your topic senten ce, you have a guideline for the
rest of the paragraph. To com plete the paragraph, a writer m ust support the topic
sentence with additional inform ation and sum m arize the m ain point with a concluding
sentence.
This section identifies the three m ajor structural parts of a paragraph and covers how to
develop a paragraph using transitional words and phrases.
Id e n tifyin g Pa rts o f a P ara grap h
An effective paragraph contains three m ain parts: a topic sentence, the body, and the
concluding senten ce. A topic senten ce is often the first sentence of a paragraph. This
chapter has already discussed its purpose—to express a m ain idea com bined with the
writer’s attitude about the subject. The body of the paragraph usually follows,
containing supporting details. Supporting sen tences help explain, prove, or enhance the
topic sentence. The concluding senten ce is the last sentence in the paragraph. It rem inds
the reader of the m ain point by restating it in different words.
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Figure 5.2 Paragraph Structure Graphic Organizer
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Read the following paragraph. The topic sentence is underlin ed for you.
After reading the new TV guide this week I had just one thought—why are we still being
bom barded with reality shows? This season, the plague of reality television continues to
darken our airwaves. Along with the return of viewer favorites, we are to be cursed with
yet another m in dless creation. Prisoner follows the daily lives of eight suburban
housewives who have chosen to be put in jail for the purposes of this fake psychological
experim ent. A preview for the first episode shows the usual tears and tantrum s
associated with reality television. I dread to think what producers will com e up with next
season, but if any of them are reading this blog—stop it! We’ve had enough reality
television to last us a lifetim e!
The first sentence of this paragraph is the topic senten ce. It tells the reader that the
paragraph will be about reality television shows, and it expresses the writer’s distaste for
these shows through the use of the word bom barded.
Each of the following sentences in the paragraph supports the topic sentence by
providing further inform ation about a specific reality television show. The final senten ce
is the con cluding sentence. It reiterates the m ain point that viewers are bored with
reality television shows by using different words from the topic sentence.
Paragraphs that begin with the topic senten ce m ove from the general to the specific.
They open with a general statem ent about a subject (reality shows) and then discuss
specific exam ples (the reality show Prisoner). Most academ ic essays contain the topic
sentence at the beginning of the first paragraph.
Now take a look at the following paragraph. The topic sentence is underlined for you.
Last year, a cat traveled 130 m iles to reach its fam ily, who had m oved to another state
and had left their pet behind. Even though it had never been to their new hom e, the cat
was able to track down its form er owners. A dog in m y neighborhood can predict when
its m aster is about to have a seizure. It m akes sure that he does not hurt him self during
an epileptic fit. Com pared to m any anim als, our own senses are alm ost dull.
The last sentence of this paragraph is the topic senten ce. It draws on specific exam ples
(a cat that tracked down its owners an d a dog that can predict seizures) and then m akes
a general statem ent that draws a conclusion from these exam ples (anim als’ senses are
better than hum ans’). In this case, the supporting sentences are placed before the topic
sentence and the concluding sentence is the sam e as the topic sentence.
This techn ique is frequently used in persuasive writing. The writer produces detailed
exam ples as evidence to back up his or her point, preparing the reader to accept the
concluding topic sentence as the truth.
Som etim es, the topic sentence appears in the m iddle of a paragraph. Read the following
exam ple. The topic sen tence is underlined for you.
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For m any years, I suffered from severe anxiety every tim e I took an exam . Hours before
the exam , m y heart would begin pounding, m y legs would shake, and som etim es I would
becom e physically unable to m ove. Last year, I was referred to a specialist and finally
found a way to control m y anxiety—breathing exercises. It seem s so sim ple, but by doing
just a few breathing exercises a couple of hours before an exam , I gradually got m y
anxiety under control. The exercises help slow m y heart rate and m ake m e feel less
anxious. Better yet, they require no pills, no equipm ent, and very little tim e. It’s am azing
how just breathing correctly has helped m e learn to m anage m y an xiety sym ptom s.
In this paragraph, the underlined sentence is the topic senten ce. It expresses the m ain
idea—that breathing exercises can help control anxiety. The preceding sentences enable
the writer to build up to his m ain point (breathing exercises can help control anxiety) by
using a personal anecdote (how he used to suffer from anxiety). The supporting
sentences then expand on how breathing exercises help the writer by providing
additional inform ation. The last senten ce is the concluding senten ce and restates how
breathing can help m anage anxiety.
Placing a topic sentence in the m iddle of a paragraph is often used in creative writing. If
you notice that you have used a topic sentence in the m iddle of a paragraph in an
academ ic essay, read through the paragraph carefully to m ake sure that it contains only
one m ajor topic. To read m ore about topic sentences and where they appear in
paragraphs, see Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?".
Im p lie d To p ic Se n te n ce s
Som e well-organized paragraphs do not contain a topic sentence at all. Instead of being
directly stated, the m ain idea is im plied in the content of the paragraph. Read the
following exam ple:
Heaving herself up the stairs, Luella had to pause for breath several tim es. She let out a
wheeze as she sat down heavily in the wooden rocking chair. Tao approached her
cautiously, as if she m ight crum ble at the slightest touch. He studied her face, like
parchm ent; stretched across the bones so finely he could alm ost see right through the
skin to the decaying m uscle underneath. Luella sm iled a toothless grin.
Although no single sen tence in this paragraph states the m ain idea, the entire paragraph
focuses on one con cept—that Luella is extrem ely old. The topic sentence is thus im plied
rather than stated. This technique is often used in descriptive or n arrative writing.
Im plied topic sentences work well if the writer has a firm idea of what he or she intends
to say in the paragraph and sticks to it. However, a paragraph loses its effectiveness if an
im plied topic senten ce is too subtle or the writer loses focus.
Tip
Avoid using im plied topic sentences in an inform ational docum ent. Readers often lose
patience if they are unable to quickly grasp what the writer is trying to say. The clearest
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and m ost efficient way to com m unicate in an inform ational docum en t is to position the
topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph.
Exe rcis e 4
Identify the topic sentence, supporting senten ces, and concluding sentence in the
following paragraph.
The desert provides a harsh environm ent in which few m am m als are able to adapt. Of
these hardy creatures, the kangaroo rat is possibly the m ost fascin ating. Able to live in
som e of the m ost arid parts of the southwest, the kangaroo rat neither sweats nor pants
to keep cool. Its specialized kidneys enable it to survive on a m iniscule am ount of water.
Unlike other desert creatures, the kangaroo rat does not store water in its body but
instead is able to convert the dry seeds it eats into m oisture. Its ability to adapt to such a
hostile environm ent m akes the kangaroo rat a truly am azing creature.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Su p p o rtin g Se n te n ce s
If you think of a paragraph as a ham burger, the supporting sentences are the m eat
inside the bun. They m ake up the body of the paragraph by explain in g, proving, or
enhan cing the controlling idea in the topic sentence. Most paragraphs contain three to
six supporting sentences depending on the audience and purpose for writing. A
supporting sentence usually offers one of the following:
•
Re as o n
Se n te n ce : The refusal of the baby boom generation to retire is contributing to
the current lack of available jobs.
•
Fact
Se n te n ce : Many fam ilies now rely on older relatives to support them financially.
•
Sta tis tic
Se n te n ce : Nearly 10 percent of adults are currently unem ployed in the United
States.
•
Qu o tatio n
Se n te n ce : “We will not allow this situation to continue,” stated Senator J ohns.
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•
Exa m p le
Se n te n ce : Last year, Bill was asked to retire at the age of fifty-five.
The type of supporting sentence you choose will depend on what you are writing and
why you are writing. For exam ple, if you are attem pting to persuade your audience to
take a particular position you should rely on facts, statistics, and concrete exam ples,
rather than personal opinions. Read the following exam ple:
There are num erous advantages to owning a hybrid car. ( To p ic s e n te n ce )
First, they get 20 percent to 35 percent m ore m iles to the gallon than a fuel-efficient gaspowered vehicle. ( Su p p o rtin g s e n te n ce 1: s tatis tic)
Second, they produce very few em issions during low speed city driving. ( Su p po rtin g
s e n te n ce 2 : fact)
Because they do not require gas, hybrid cars reduce dependency on fossil fuels, which
helps lower prices at the pum p. ( Su p p o rtin g s e n te n ce 3 : re as o n )
Alex bought a hybrid car two years ago and has been extrem ely im pressed with its
perform ance. ( Su p p o rtin g s e n te n ce 4 : e xam p le )
“It’s the cheapest car I’ve ever had,” she said. “The running costs are far lower than
previous gas powered vehicles I’ve owned.” ( Su p p o rtin g s e n te n ce 5 : qu o tatio n )
Given the low running costs and environm ental benefits of owning a hybrid car, it is
likely that m any m ore people will follow Alex’s exam ple in the near future.
( Co n clu d in g s e n te n ce )
To find inform ation for your supporting sentences, you m ight consider using one of the
following sources:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Reference book
Encyclopedia
Website
Biography/ autobiography
Map
Dictionary
Newspaper/ m agazine
Interview
Previous experience
Personal research
To read m ore about sources and research, see Chapter 10 "Writing Preparation".
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Tip
When searching for inform ation on the Internet, rem em ber that som e websites are m ore
reliable than others. websites ending in .gov or .edu are generally m ore reliable than
websites ending in .com or .org. Wikis and blogs are not reliable sources of inform ation
because they are subject to inaccuracies.
Co n clu d in g Se n te n ce s
An effective concludin g sentence draws together all the ideas you have raised in your
paragraph. It rem inds readers of the m ain point—the topic sentence—without restating
it in exactly the sam e words. Using the ham burger exam ple, the top bun (the topic
sentence) and the bottom bun (the concluding sentence) are very sim ilar. They fram e
the “m eat” or body of the paragraph. Com pare the topic sentence an d concluding
sentence from the previous exam ple:
To p ic s e n te n ce : There are num erous advantages to owning a hybrid car.
Co n clu d in g s e n te n ce : Given the low running costs and environm ental benefits of
owning a hybrid car, it is likely that m any m ore people will follow Alex’s exam ple in the
near future.
Notice the use of the synonym s advantages and benefits. The concluding sentence
reiterates the idea that owning a hybrid is advantageous without using the exact sam e
words. It also sum m arizes two exam ples of the advantages covered in the supporting
sentences: low running costs and environm en tal benefits.
You should avoid introducing an y new ideas into your concluding sentence. A
conclusion is intended to provide the reader with a sen se of com pletion. Introducing a
subject that is not covered in the paragraph will confuse the reader and weaken your
writing.
A concluding sentence m ay do any of the following:
•
Restate the m ain idea.
Exa m p le : Childhood obesity is a growing problem in the United States.
•
Sum m arize the key points in the paragraph.
Exa m p le : A lack of healthy choices, poor parenting, and an addiction to video
gam es are am ong the m any factors contributing to childhood obesity.
•
Draw a conclusion based on the inform ation in the paragraph.
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Exa m p le : These statistics in dicate that unless we take action, childhood obesity
rates will continue to rise.
•
Make a prediction, suggestion, or recom m endation about the inform ation in the
paragraph.
Exa m p le : Based on this research, m ore than 60 percent of children in the
United States will be m orbidly obese by the year 20 30 unless we take evasive
action.
•
Offer an additional observation about the controlling idea.
Exa m p le : Childhood obesity is an entirely preventable tragedy.
Exe rcis e 5
On your own paper, write one exam ple of each type of concluding sentence based on a
topic of your choice.
Tran s itio n s
A strong paragraph m oves seam lessly from the topic sentence into the supporting
sentences an d on to the concluding sentence. To help organize a paragraph and ensure
that ideas logically connect to one another, writers use transitional words an d phrases. A
transition is a connecting word that describes a relationship between ideas. Take
another look at the earlier exam ple:
There are num erous advantages to owning a hybrid car. First, they get 20 percent to 35
percent m ore m iles to the gallon than a fuel-efficient gas-powered vehicle. Second, they
produce very few em issions during low speed city driving. Because they do not require
gas, hybrid cars reduce dependency on fossil fuels, which helps lower prices at the
pum p. Alex bought a hybrid car two years ago and has been extrem ely im pressed with
its perform ance. “It’s the cheapest car I’ve ever had,” she said. “The running costs are far
lower than previous gas-powered vehicles I’ve owned.” Given the low running costs an d
environm ental benefits of owning a hybrid car, it is likely that m any m ore people will
follow Alex’s exam ple in the near future.
Each of the underlined words is a transition word. Words such as first and second are
transition words that show sequence or clarify order. They help organize the writer’s
ideas by showing that he or she has another point to m ake in support of the topic
sentence. Other transition words that show order include third, also, and furtherm ore.
The transition word because is a transition word of consequence that continues a line of
thought. It indicates that the writer will provide an explanation of a result. In this
sentence, the writer explains why hybrid cars will reduce dependency on fossil fuels
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(because they do not require gas). Other transition words of consequence include as a
result, so that, since, or for this reason.
To include a sum m arizing transition in her concluding senten ce, the writer could
rewrite the final senten ce as follows:
In conclusion, given the low running costs and environm ental benefits of owning a
hybrid car, it is likely that m any m ore people will follow Alex’s exam ple in the near
future.
The following chart provides som e useful transition words to connect supporting
sentences an d concluding sentences. See Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I
Begin?" for a m ore com prehensive look at transitional words and phrases.
Table 5.1 Useful Transitional Words and Phrases
Fo r Su p p o rtin g Se n te n ce s
above all
also
aside from
at the sam e
tim e
after all
but
conversely
correspondingly
for instance
furthermore
however
in particular
later on
likewise
for exam ple
in addition
m eanwhile
Fo r Co n clu din g Se n te n ce s
all things
in brief
in
considered
sum m ary
all in all
finally
in
conclusion
on
balance
m oreover
nevertheless
on one hand
on the
contrary
on the
whole
subsequently
therefore
to begin with
to
sum
up
thus
Exe rcis e 6
Using your own paper, write a paragraph on a topic of your choice. Be sure to include a
topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence and to use transitional
words and phrases to link your ideas together.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
W ritin g at W o rk
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Transitional words and phrases are useful tools to incorporate into workplace
docum ents. They guide the reader through the docum ent, clarifying relationships
between senten ces and paragraphs so that the reader understands why they have been
written in that particular order.
For exam ple, when writing an instructional m em o, it m ay be helpful to consider the
following transitional words and phrases: before y ou begin, first, next, then, finally ,
after y ou have com pleted. Using these transitions as a tem plate to write your m em o will
provide readers with clear, logical instructions about a particular process and the order
in which steps are supposed to be com pleted.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
A good paragraph contains three distinct com ponents: a topic sentence, body, and
concluding sentence.
The topic sentence expresses the m ain idea of the paragraph com bined with the writer’s
attitude or opinion about the topic.
Good topic sentences contain both a m ain idea and a controlling idea, are clear and easy
to follow, use engaging vocabulary, and provide an accurate indication of what will follow
in the rest of the paragraph.
Topic sentences m ay be placed at the beginning, m iddle, or end of a paragraph. In most
academ ic essays, the topic sentence is placed at the beginning of a paragraph.
Supporting sentences help explain, prove, or enhance the topic sentence by offering
facts, reasons, statistics, quotations, or exam ples.
Concluding sentences sum m arize the key points in a paragraph and reiterate the m ain
idea without repeating it word for word.
Transitional words and phrases help organize ideas in a paragraph and show how these
ideas relate to one another.
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5 .3 W ritin g P aragrap h s : En d -o f-Ch a p te r Exe rcis e s
Exe rcis e s
1. Select one of the following topics or choose a topic of your choice:
o
o
o
o
o
Drilling for oil in Alaska
Health care reform
Introducing a four-day work week
Bringing pets to work
Charging airline passengers to use the in-flight bathroom
Create a topic senten ce based on the topic you chose, rem em bering to include
both a m ain idea an d a controlling idea. Next, write an alternative topic sentence
using the sam e m ain idea but a different controlling idea. Explain how each fully
developed paragraph m ight differ in tone an d content.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
2. At som e point during your career, you m ay be asked to write a report or com plete
a presentation. Im agin e that you have been asked to report on the issue of health
and safety in the workplace. Using the inform ation in Section 5.1.2 "Identifying
the Audience", com plete an analysis of your intended audience—your fellow
office workers. Consider how dem ographics, education, prior knowledge, and
expectations will influence your report and explain how you will tailor it to your
audience accordingly.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
3. Gro u p activity. Working in a group of four or five, assign each group m em ber the task
of collecting one docum ent each. These docum ents m ight include m agazine or
newspaper articles, workplace docum ents, academ ic essays, chapters from a reference
book, film or book reviews, or any other type of writing. As a group, read through each
docum ent and discuss the author’s purpose for writing. Use the inform ation you have
learned in this chapter to decide whether the m ain purpose is to sum m arize, analyze,
synthesize, or evaluate. Write a brief report on the purpose of each document, using
supporting evidence from the text.
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4. Gro u p activity. Working in a sm all group, select a workplace docum ent or
academ ic essay that has a clear thesis. Exam ine each paragraph an d identify the
topic sentence, supporting sentences, and concluding senten ce. Then, choose on e
particular paragraph and discuss the following questions:
o
o
o
o
Is the topic sentence clearly identifiable or is it implied?
Do all the supporting sentences relate to the topic sentence?
Does the writer use effective transitions to link his or her ideas?
Does the concluding sentence accurately sum m arize the m ain point of the
paragraph?
As a group, identify the weakest areas of the paragraph an d rewrite them . Focus
on the relationship am ong the topic senten ce, supporting sentences, and
concluding senten ce. Use transitions to illustrate the connection between each
sentence in the paragraph.
5. Pe e r activity. Using the inform ation you have learned in this chapter, write a
paragraph about a current event. Underline the topic sentence in your paragraph.
Now, rewrite the paragraph, placing the topic sentence in a different part of the
paragraph. Read the two paragraphs aloud to a peer and have him or her identify
the topic senten ce. Discuss which paragraph is m ore effective and why.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate, com pare your answers, and discuss the contrasting
results.
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Ch apte r 6 Re fin in g Yo u r W ritin g: H o w D o I Im pro ve My W ritin g
Te ch n iqu e ?
6 .1 Se n te n ce Va rie ty
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify ways to vary sentence structure.
2. Write and revise sentence structure at the beginning of sentences.
3. Write and revise sentence structure by connecting ideas.
Have you ever ordered a dish in a restaurant and been not happy with its taste, even
though it contained m ost of your favorite ingredients? J ust as a m eal m ight lack the
finishing touches n eeded to spice it up, so too m ight a paragraph contain all the basic
com ponents but still lack the stylistic finesse required to engage a reader. Som etim es
writers have a ten den cy to reuse the sam e sen tence pattern throughout their writing.
Like any repetitive task, reading text that contains too m any sentences with the sam e
length and structure can becom e m onotonous and boring. Experienced writers m ix it up
by using an assortm ent of sentence patterns, rhythm s, and lengths.
In this chapter, you will follow a student nam ed Naom i who has written a draft of an
essay but needs to refine her writing. This section discusses how to introduce senten ce
variety into writing, how to open sentences using a variety of techniques, and how to use
different types of sentence structure when connecting ideas. You can use these
techniques when revising a paper to bring life and rhythm to your work. They will also
m ake reading your work m ore enjoyable.
In co rp o ratin g Se n te n ce Varie ty
Experienced writers in corporate senten ce variety into their writing by varying sentence
style and structure. Using a m ixture of different sentence structures reduces repetition
and adds em phasis to im portant points in the text. Read the following exam ple:
During m y tim e in office I have achieved several goals. I have helped increase funding
for local schools. I have reduced crim e rates in the neighborhood. I have encouraged
young people to get involved in their com m unity. My com petitor argues that she is the
better choice in the upcom ing election. I argue that it is ridiculous to fix som ething that
isn’t broken. If you reelect m e this year, I prom ise to continue to serve this com m unity.
In this extract from an election cam paign, the writer uses short, sim ple sentences of a
sim ilar length and style. Writers often m istakenly believe that this technique m akes the
text m ore clear for the reader, but the result is a choppy, unsophisticated paragraph that
does not grab the audience’s attention. Now read the revised paragraph with senten ce
variety:
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During m y tim e in office, I have helped in crease funding for local schools, reduced crim e
rates in the neighborhood, and encouraged young people to get involved in their
com m unity. Why fix what isn’t broken? If you reelect m e this year, I will continue to
achieve great things for this com m unity. Don’t take a chance on an unknown contender;
vote for the proven success.
Notice how introducin g a short rhetorical question am ong the longer sentences in the
paragraph is an effective m eans of keeping the reader’s attention. In the revised version,
the writer com bines the choppy senten ces at the beginning into one longer sentence,
which adds rhythm an d interest to the paragraph.
Tip
Effective writers often im plem ent the “rule of three,” which is basically the thought that
things that contain three elem ents are m ore m em orable and m ore satisfying to readers
than any other num ber. Try to use a series of three when providing exam ples, grouping
adjectives, or generating a list.
Exe rcis e 1
Com bine each set of sim ple sentences into a com pound or a com plex sentence. Write the
com bined sentence on your own sheet of paper.
1. Heroin is an extrem ely addictive drug. Thousands of heroin addicts die each year.
2. Shakespeare’s writing is still relevant today. He wrote about tim eless themes. These
them es include love, hate, jealousy, death, and destiny.
3. Gay m arriage is now legal in six states. Iowa, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Verm ont, New
Ham pshire, and Maine all perm it sam e-sex m arriage. Other states are likely to follow
their exam ple.
4. Prewriting is a vital stage of the writing process. Prewriting helps you organize your
ideas. Types of prewriting include outlining, brainstorm ing, and idea m apping.
5. Mitch Bancroft is a famous writer. He also serves as a governor on the local school board.
Mitch’s two children attend the school.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
U s in g Se n te n ce Varie ty at th e Be gin n in g o f Se n te n ce s
Read the following sentences and consider what they all have in com m on:
J ohn and Am anda will be analyzing this week’s financial report.
The car screeched to a halt just a few inches away from the young boy.
Students rarely com e to the exam adequately prepared.
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If you are having trouble figuring out why these senten ces are sim ilar, try underlining
the subject in each. You will notice that the subject is positioned at the beginning of each
sentence—John and Am anda, the car, students. Since the subject-verb-object pattern is
the sim plest senten ce structure, m any writers tend to overuse this technique, which can
result in repetitive paragraphs with little sentence variety.
Naom i wrote an essay about the 20 0 8 governm ent bailout. Read this excerpt from
Naom i’s essay:
This section exam in es several ways to introduce sentence variety at the beginning of
sentences, using Naom i’s essay as an exam ple.
Startin g a Se n te n ce w ith an Ad ve rb
One technique you can use so as to avoid beginning a sentence with the subject is to use
an adverb. An adverb is a word that describes a verb, adjective, or other adverb and
often ends in -ly . Exam ples of adverbs include quickly , softly , quietly , angrily , and
tim idly . Read the following sentences:
She slowly turned the corner and peered into the m urky basem ent.
Slowly, she turned the corner and peered into the m urky basem ent.
In the second sentence, the adverb slow ly is placed at the beginning of the sentence. If
you read the two sentences aloud, you will notice that m oving the adverb changes the
rhythm of the sentence and slightly alters its m eaning. The second sentence em phasizes
how the subject m oves—slowly—creating a buildup of tension. This technique is
effective in fictional writing.
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Note that an adverb used at the beginning of a sentence is usually followed by a com m a.
A com m a indicates that the reader should pause briefly, which creates a useful
rhetorical device. Read the following sentences aloud and consider the effect of pausing
after the adverb:
Cautiously, he unlocked the kennel and waited for the dog’s reaction.
Solem nly, the policem an approached the m ayor and placed him under arrest.
Suddenly, he slam m ed the door shut and sprinted across the street.
In an academ ic essay, m oving an adverb to the beginning of a senten ce serves to vary
the rhythm of a paragraph an d increase sentence variety.
Naom i has used two adverbs in her essay that could be m oved to the beginning of their
respective sentences. Notice how the following revised version creates a m ore varied
paragraph:
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Tip
Adverbs of tim e—adverbs that indicate w hen an action takes place—do not always
require a com m a when used at the beginning of a sentence. Adverbs of tim e include
words such as y esterday , today , later, som etim es, often, and now .
Exe rcis e 2
On your own sheet of paper, rewrite the following sentences by m oving the adverbs to
the beginning.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The red truck sped furiously past the camper van, blaring its horn.
J eff snatched at the bread hungrily, polishing off three slices in under a m inute.
Underage drinking typically results from peer pressure and lack of parental attention.
The firefighters bravely tackled the blaze, but they were beaten back by flam es.
Mayor J ohnson privately acknowledged that the budget was excessive and that further
discussion was needed.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Startin g a Se n te n ce w ith a Pre p o s itio n al P h ra s e
A prepositional phrase is a group of words that behaves as an adjective or an adverb,
m odifying a noun or a verb. Prepositional phrases contain a preposition (a word that
specifies place, direction, or tim e) and an object of the preposition (a noun phrase or
pronoun that follows the preposition).
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Table 6.1 Com m on Prepositions
above
across
against
after
am ong
around
at
before
behind
below
beneath
beside
between
beyond
by
despite
except
for
from
inside
into
like
near
off
on
over
past
since
through
throughout
till
toward
under
underneath
until
up
with
without
Read the following sentence:
The terrified child hid u n d e rn e ath th e table .
In this senten ce, the prepositional phrase is underneath the table. The preposition
underneath relates to the object that follows the preposition—the table. Adjectives m ay
be placed between the preposition and the object in a prepositional phrase.
The terrified child hid u n d e rn e ath th e h e avy w o o d e n table .
Som e prepositional phrases can be m oved to the beginning of a sentence in order to
create variety in a piece of writing. Look at the following revised sen tence:
U n d e rn e ath th e h e a vy w o o d e n table , the terrified child hid.
Notice that when the prepositional phrase is m oved to the beginnin g of the sentence, the
em phasis shifts from the subject—the terrified child—to the location in which the child
is hiding. Words that are placed at the beginning or end of a senten ce generally receive
the greatest em phasis. Take a look at the following exam ples. The prepositional phrase
is underlined in each:
The bandaged m an waited in th e d o cto r’s o ffice .
In th e d o cto r’s o ffice , the bandaged m an waited.
My train leaves the station at 6 :4 5 a.m .
At 6 :4 5 a .m ., m y train leaves the station.
Teenagers exchange drugs and m oney u n d e r th e railw ay brid ge .
U n d e r th e railw ay b rid ge , teenagers exchange drugs an d m oney.
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Prepositional phrases are useful in any type of writing. Take another look at Naom i’s
essay on the governm ent bailout.
Now read the revised version.
The underlined words are all prepositional phrases. Notice how they add additional
inform ation to the text and provide a sense of flow to the essay, m aking it less choppy
and m ore pleasurable to read.
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U n m o vable Pre p o s itio n al Ph ras e s
Not all prepositional phrases can be placed at the beginning of a sen tence. Read the
following sentence:
I would like a chocolate sundae w ith o u t w h ip p e d cre am .
In this senten ce, w ithout w hipped cream is the prepositional phrase. Because it
describes the chocolate sundae, it cannot be m oved to the beginning of the sentence.
“Without whipped cream I would like a chocolate sundae” does not m ake as m uch (if
any) sense. To determ ine whether a prepositional phrase can be m oved, we m ust
determ ine the m eanin g of the sentence.
Ove ru s e o f Pre p o s itio n al Ph ras e s
Experienced writers often include m ore than one prepositional phrase in a senten ce;
however, it is im portant not to overload your writing. Using too m any m odifiers in a
paragraph m ay create an unintentionally com ical effect as the following exam ple shows:
The treasure lay buried under the old oak tree, behind the crum bling fifteenth-century
wall, near the schoolyard, where children played m errily during their lunch hour,
unaware of the riches that rem ain ed hidden beneath their feet.
A sentence is not necessarily effective just because it is long and com plex. If your
sentence appears cluttered with prepositional phrases, divide it into two shorter
sentences. The previous sentence is far m ore effective when written as two sim pler
sentences:
The treasure lay buried under the old oak tree, behind the crum bling fifteenth-century
wall. In the nearby schoolyard, children played m errily during their lunch hour,
unaware of the riches that rem ain ed hidden beneath their feet.
W ritin g at W o rk
The overuse of prepositional phrases often occurs when our thoughts are jum bled and
we are unsure how concepts or ideas relate to one another. If you are preparing a report
or a proposal, take the tim e to organize your thoughts in an outline before writing a
rough draft. Read the draft aloud, either to yourself or to a colleague, and identify areas
that are ram bling or unclear. If you notice that a particular part of your report contains
several sentences over twenty words, you should double check that particular section to
m ake certain that it is coherent and does not contain unnecessary prepositional phrases.
Reading aloud som etim es helps detect unclear and wordy sentences. You can also ask a
colleague to paraphrase your m ain points to ensure that the m eaning is clear.
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Startin g a Se n te n ce by In ve rtin g Su b je ct an d Ve rb
As we noted earlier, m ost writers follow the subject-verb-object sentence structure. In
an inverted sentence, the order is reversed so that the subject follows the verb. Read the
following sentence pairs:
1. A truck was parked in the driveway.
2. Parked in the driveway was a truck.
1. A copy of the file is attached.
2. Attached is a copy of the file.
Notice how the second sentence in each pair places m ore em phasis on the subject—a
truck in the first exam ple and the file in the second. This technique is useful for drawing
the reader’s attention to your prim ary area of focus. We can apply this m ethod to an
academ ic essay. Take another look at Naom i’s paragraph.
To em phasize the subject in certain sentences, Naom i can invert the traditional senten ce
structure. Read her revised paragraph:
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Notice that in the first underlined sentence, the subject (som e econom ists) is placed
after the verb (argued). In the second underlined sentence, the subject (the
governm ent) is placed after the verb (expects).
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, rewrite the following sentences as inverted sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Teresa will never attem pt to run another m arathon.
A detailed job description is enclosed with this letter.
Bathroom facilities are across the hall to the left of the water cooler.
The well-dressed stranger stum bled through the doorway.
My colleagues rem ain unconvinced about the proposed m erger.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Co n n e ctin g Id e a s to In cre as e Se n te n ce Varie ty
Reviewing and rewriting the beginning of sentences is a good way of introducing
sentence variety into your writing. Another useful technique is to connect two sentences
using a m odifier, a relative clause, or an appositive. This section exam ines how to
connect ideas across several sentences in order to increase senten ce variety and im prove
writing.
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Jo in in g Id e a s U s in g an -in g Mo d ifie r
Som etim es it is possible to com bine two sentences by converting one of them into a
m odifier using the -ing verb form —singing, dancing, sw im m ing. A m odifier is a word
or phrase that qualifies the m eaning of another elem ent in the senten ce. Read the
following exam ple:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : Steve checked the com puter system . He discovered a virus.
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Checking the com puter system , Steve discovered a virus.
To connect two senten ces using an -ing m odifier, add -ing to one of the verbs in the
sentences (checking) and delete the subject (Steve). Use a com m a to separate the
m odifier from the subject of the sentence. It is im portant to m ake sure that the m ain
idea in your revised sentence is contain ed in the m ain clause, not in the m odifier. In this
exam ple, the m ain idea is that Steve discovered a virus, not that he checked the
com puter system .
In the following exam ple, an -ing m odifier indicates that two actions are occurring at
the sam e tim e:
1. Noticing the police car, she shifted gears an d slowed down.
This m eans that she slowed down at the sam e tim e she noticed the police car.
2. Barking loudly, the dog ran across the driveway.
This m eans that the dog barked as it ran across the driveway.
You can add an -ing m odifier to the beginnin g or the end of a sentence, depen ding on
which fits best.
Be gin n in g: Co n d u ctin g a s u rve y am o n g h e r frie n d s , Am anda found that few
were happy in their jobs.
En d : Maria filed the final report, m e e tin g h e r d e ad lin e .
D an glin g Mo d ifie rs
A com m on m istake when com bining sentences using the -ing verb form is to m isplace
the m odifier so that it is not logically connected to the rest of the sentence. This creates a
dangling m odifier. Look at the following exam ple:
J ogging across the parking lot, m y breath grew ragged and shallow.
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In this senten ce, jogging across the parking lot seem s to m odify m y breath. Since
breath can not jog, the sentence should be rewritten so that the subject is placed
im m ediately after the m odifier or added to the dangling phrase.
J ogging across the parking lot, I felt m y breath grow ragged and shallow.
For m ore inform ation on dangling m odifiers, see Chapter 1 "Writing Basics: What
Makes a Good Senten ce?".
Jo in in g Id e a s U s in g an -e d Mo d ifie r
Som e sentences can be com bined using an -ed verb form —stopped, finished, play ed. To
use this m ethod, one of the sentences m ust contain a form of be as a helping verb in
addition to the -ed verb form . Take a look at the following exam ple:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : The J ones fam ily was delayed by a traffic jam . They arrived
several hours after the party started.
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Delayed by a traffic jam , the J ones fam ily arrived several hours
after the party started.
In the original version, w as acts as a helping verb—it has no m eaning by itself, but it
serves a gram m atical function by placing the m ain verb (delay ed) in the perfect tense.
To connect two senten ces using an -ed m odifier, drop the helping verb (w as) and the
subject (the Jones fam ily ) from the sentence with an -ed verb form . This form s a
m odifying phrase (delay ed by a traffic jam ) that can be added to the beginning or en d
of the other sentence according to which fits best. As with the -ing m odifier, be careful
to place the word that the phrase m odifies im m ediately after the phrase in order to
avoid a dangling m odifier.
Using -ing or -ed m odifiers can help stream line your writing by drawing obvious
connections between two sentences. Take a look at how Naom i m ight use m odifiers in
her paragraph.
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The revised version of the essay uses the -ing m odifier opting to draw a connection
between the governm ent’s decision to bail out the banks and the result of that decision—
the acquisition of the m ortgage-backed securities.
Jo in in g Id e a s U s in g a Re lative Clau s e
Another technique that writers use to com bine sentences is to join them using a relative
clause. A relative clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb an d
describes a noun. Relative clauses function as adjectives by answerin g questions such as
w hich one? or w hat kind? Relative clauses begin with a relative pronoun, such as w ho,
w hich, w here, w hy , or w hen. Read the following exam ples:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : The m anaging director is visiting the com pany next week. He
lives in Seattle.
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : The m anaging director, who lives in Seattle, is visiting the
com pany n ext week.
To connect two senten ces using a relative clause, substitute the subject of one of the
sentences (he) for a relative pronoun (w ho). This gives you a relative clause (w ho lives
in Seattle) that can be placed next to the noun it describes (the m an aging director).
Make sure to keep the sentence you want to em phasize as the m ain clause. For exam ple,
reversing the m ain clause and subordinate clause in the preceding sentence em phasizes
where the m anaging director lives, not the fact that he is visiting the com pany.
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : The m anaging director, who is visiting the com pany next week,
lives in Seattle.
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Relative clauses are a useful way of providing additional, nonessential inform ation in a
sentence. Take a look at how Naom i m ight incorporate relative clauses into her essay.
Notice how the underlined relative clauses can be rem oved from Naom i’s essay without
changing the m eaning of the sentence.
Tip
To check the punctuation of relative clauses, assess whether or not the clause can be
taken out of the sentence without changing its m eaning. If the relative clause is not
essential to the m eanin g of the sentence, it should be placed in com m as. If the relative
clause is essential to the m eaning of the sentence, it does not require com m as around it.
Jo in in g Id e a s U s in g an Ap p o s itive
An appositive is a word or group of words that describes or renam es a noun or pronoun.
Incorporating appositives into your writing is a useful way of com bining senten ces that
are too short and choppy. Take a look at the following exam ple:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : Harland Sanders began serving food for hungry travelers in
1930 . He is Colonel Sanders or “the Colonel.”
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Harland Sanders, “the Colonel,” began serving food for hungry
travelers in 1930 .
In the revised senten ce, “the Colonel” is an appositive because it ren am es Harland
Sanders. To com bin e two sentences using an appositive, drop the subject and verb from
the sentence that renam es the noun and turn it into a phrase. Note that in the previous
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exam ple, the appositive is positioned im m ediately after the noun it describes. An
appositive m ay be placed anywhere in a sentence, but it m ust com e directly before or
after the noun to which it refers:
Ap p o s itive afte r n o u n : Scott, a poorly trained athlete, was not expected to win the
race.
Ap p o s itive be fo re n o u n : A poorly trained athlete, Scott was not expected to win the
race.
Unlike relative clauses, appositives are always punctuated by a com m a or a set com m as.
Take a look at the way Naom i uses appositives to include additional facts in her essay.
Exe rcis e 4
On your own sheet of paper, rewrite the following sentence pairs as one sentence using
the techniques you have learned in this section.
1. Baby sharks are called pups. Pups can be born in one of three ways.
2. The Pacific Ocean is the world’s largest ocean. It extends from the Arctic in the north to
the Southern Ocean in the south.
3. Michael Phelps won eight gold m edals in the 20 0 8 Olym pics. He is a cham pion
swim m er.
4. Ashley introduced her colleague Dan to her husband, J im. She speculated that the two of
them would have a lot in com mon.
5. Cacao is harvested by hand. It is then sold to chocolate-processing com panies at the
Coffee, Sugar, and Cocoa Exchange.
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Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
W ritin g at W o rk
In addition to varying sentence structure, consider varying the types of sentences you
are using in a report or other workplace docum ent. Most sentences are declarative, but a
carefully placed question, exclam ation, or com m and can pique colleagues’ interest, even
if the subject m aterial is fairly dry. Im agine that you are writing a budget analysis.
Beginning your report with a rhetorical question, such as “Where is our m oney going?”
or “How can we increase sales?” encourages people to continue reading to find out the
answers. Although they should be used sparingly in academ ic and professional writing,
questions or com m ands are effective rhetorical devices.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Sentence variety reduces repetition in a piece of writing and adds em phasis to important
points in the text.
Sentence variety can be introduced to the beginning of sentences by starting a sentence
with an adverb, starting a sentence with a prepositional phrase, or by inverting the
subject and verb.
Combine ideas, using m odifiers, relative clauses, or appositives, to achieve sentence
variety.
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6 .2 Co o rd in atio n an d Su bo rd in atio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify coordination and subordination in writing.
2. Combine sentences and ideas using coordination.
3. Combine sentences and ideas using subordination.
In the previous section, we learned how to use different patterns to create sentence
variety and to add em phasis to im portant points in our writing. Next, we will exam ine
two ways in which we can join sentences with related ideas:
•
•
Coordination. J oining two related ideas of equal im portance.
Subordination. J oining two related ideas of unequal im portance.
Connecting sentences with coordinate or subordinate clauses creates m ore coherent
paragraphs, and in turn, produces m ore effective writing. In this section, you will read
excerpts from Naom i’s classm ate n am ed J oshua, who drafted an essay about wine
production. Read this excerpt from J oshua’s essay.
This section exam in es several ways to com bin e sentences with coordination and
subordination, using J oshua’s essay as an exam ple.
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Co o rd in atio n
Coordination joins two independent clauses that contain related ideas of equal
im portance.
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : I spent m y entire paycheck last week. I am staying hom e this
weekend.
In their current form , these sentences contain two separate ideas that m ay or m ay not be
related. Am I staying hom e this week because I spent m y paycheck, or is there another
reason for m y lack of enthusiasm to leave the house? To indicate a relationship between
the two ideas, we can use the coordinating conjunction so:
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : I spent m y entire paycheck last week, s o I am staying hom e this
weekend.
The revised sentence illustrates that the two ideas are connected. Notice that the
sentence retains two in depen dent clauses (I spent m y entire pay check; I am stay ing
hom e this w eekend) because each can stand alone as a com plete idea.
Co o rd in atin g Co n ju n ctio n s
A coordin ating conjunction is a word that joins two independent clauses. The m ost
com m on coordinating conjunctions are for, and, nor, but, or, y et, and so. Note that a
com m a precedes the coordinating conjunction when joining two clauses.
In d e pe n de n t
Clau s e
I will not be attending
the dance.
Co o rd in atin g
Co n ju n ctio n
for (indicates a
reason or cause)
In d e pe n de n t
Clau s e
I have no one to go
with.
I plan to stay hom e.
and (joins two
ideas)
I will complete an
essay for class.
J essie isn’t going to be
at the dance.
nor (indicates a
negative)
Tom won’t be there
either.
The fundraisers are
hoping for a recordbreaking attendance.
but (indicates a
contrast)
I don’t think m any
people are going.
I m ight go to the next
fundraising event.
or (offers an
alternative)
I m ight donate
som e money to the
cause.
My parents are
worried that I am
yet (indicates a
reason)
I have m any
friends at school.
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Re vis e d Se n te n ce
I will not be attending the
dance, for I have no one to
go with.
I plan to stay hom e, and I
will complete an essay for
class.
J essie isn’t going to be at
the dance, nor will Tom be
there.
The fundraisers are hoping
for a record-breaking
attendance, but I don’t
think m any people are
going.
I m ight go to the next
fundraising event, or I
m ight donate som e money
to the cause.
My parents are worried
that I am antisocial, yet I
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antisocial.
Buying a new dress is
expensive.
so (indicates a
result)
By staying hom e I
will save m oney.
have m any friends at
school.
Buying a new dress is
expensive, so by staying
hom e I will save m oney.
Tip
To help you rem em ber the seven coordin ating conjunctions, think of the acronym
FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, y et, so. Rem em ber that when you use a coordinating
conjunction in a sentence, a com m a should precede it.
Co n ju n ctive Ad ve rbs
Another m ethod of joining two independent clauses with related and equal ideas is to
use a conjunctive adverb and a sem icolon (see Chapter 1 "Writing Basics: What Makes a
Good Sentence?" for inform ation on sem icolon usage). A conjunctive adverb is a linking
word that dem onstrates a relationship between two clauses. Read the following
sentences:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : Bridget wants to take part in the next Olym pics. She train s every
day.
Since these sentences contain two equal and related ideas, they m ay be joined using a
conjunctive adverb. Now, read the revised sen tence:
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Bridget wants to take part in the next Olym pics; therefore, she
trains every day.
The revised sentence explains the relationship between Bridget’s desire to take part in
the next Olym pics and her daily training. Notice that the conjunctive adverb com es after
a sem icolon that separates the two clauses and is followed by a com m a.
Review the following chart of som e com m on conjunctive adverbs with exam ples of how
they are used:
Fu n ctio n
Addition
Co n ju n ctive
Ad ve rb
also, furthermore,
m oreover, besides
Comparison
sim ilarly, likewise
Contrast
instead, however,
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Exam p le
Alicia was late for class and stuck in traffic;
furthermore, her shoe heel had broken and she had
forgotten her lunch.
Recycling alum inum cans is beneficial to the
environm ent; sim ilarly, reusing plastic bags and
switching off lights reduces waste.
Most people do not walk to work; instead, they drive
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Em phasis
Cause and
Effect
Tim e
conversely
nam ely, certainly,
indeed
accordingly,
consequently, hence,
thus
finally, next,
subsequently, then
or take the train.
The Siberian tiger is a rare creature; indeed, there are
fewer than five hundred left in the wild.
I m issed m y train this morning; consequently, I was
late for m y m eeting.
Tim crossed the barrier, jum ped over the wall, and
pushed through the hole in the fence; finally, he m ade
it to the station.
Take a look at J oshua’s essay on wine production and identify som e areas in which he
m ight use coordin ation.
Now look at J oshua’s revised essay. Did you coordinate the sam e sen tences? You m ay
find that your answers are different because there are usually several ways to join two
independent clauses.
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Exe rcis e 1
Com bine each senten ce pair into a single sentence using either a coordinating
conjunction or a conjunctive adverb. Then copy the com bined sentence onto your own
sheet of paper.
1. Pets are not allowed in Mr. Taylor’s building. He owns several cats and a parrot.
2. New legislation prevents drivers from sending or reading text m essages while driving.
Many people continue to use their phones illegally.
3. The coroner concluded that the young m an had taken a lethal concoction of drugs. By the
tim e his relatives found him , nothing could be done.
4. Am phibians are vertebrates that live on land and in the water. Flatworm s are
invertebrates that live only in water.
5. Ashley carefully fed and watered her tom ato plants all sum m er. The tom atoes grew juicy
and ripe.
6. When he lost his car key, Sim on attem pted to open the door with a wire hanger, a credit
card, and a paper clip. He called the m anufacturer for advice.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
W ritin g at W o rk
When writing an essay or a report, it is im portant that you do not use excessive
coordination. Workplace docum ents should be clear and concise, so only join two
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clauses that are logically connected and can work together to m ake one m ain point. If
you repeat the sam e coordinating conjunction several tim es in a sentence, you are
probably including m ore than one idea. This m ay m ake it difficult for readers to pick out
the m ost im portant inform ation in each sentence.
Su bo rd in atio n
Subordination joins two sentences with related ideas by m erging them into a
m ain clause (a com plete sentence) and a dependent clause (a construction that relies on
the m ain clause to com plete its m eaning). Coordination allows a writer to give equal
weight to the two ideas that are being com bin ed, and subordin ation enables a writer to
em phasize one idea over the other. Take a look at the following sentences:
Origin a l s e n te n ce s : Tracy stopped to help the injured m an. She would be late for
work.
To illustrate that these two ideas are related, we can rewrite them as a single sentence
using the subordinating conjunction even though.
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Even though Tracy would be late for work, she stopped to help the
injured m an.
In the revised version, we now have an independent clause (she stopped to help the
injured m an) that stands as a com plete sentence an d a dependent clause (even though
Tracy w ould be late for w ork) that is subordinate to the m ain clause. Notice that the
revised sentence em phasizes the fact that Tracy stopped to help the injured m an, rather
than the fact she would be late for work. We could also write the sentence this way:
Re vis e d s e n te n ce : Tracy stopped to help the injured m an even though she would be
late for work.
The m ean ing rem ains the sam e in both senten ces, with the subordinating conjunction
even though introducing the dependent clause.
Tip
To punctuate sentences correctly, look at the position of the m ain clause and the
subordinate clause. If a subordinate clause precedes the m ain clause, use a com m a. If
the subordinate clause follows the m ain cause, no punctuation is required.
Su bo rd in atin g Co n ju n ctio n s
A subordinating conjunction is a word that joins a subordinate (dependent) clause to a
m ain (indepen dent) clause. Review the following chart of som e com m on subordinating
conjunctions an d exam ples of how they are used:
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Fu n ctio n
Condition
Su bo rd in atin g
Co n ju n ctio n
although, while, though,
whereas, even though
if, unless, until
Manner
as if, as, though
Place
where, wherever
Reason
because, since, so that, in
order that
after, before, while, once,
when
Concession
Tim e
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Exam p le
Sarah completed her report even though she had
to stay late to get it done.
Until we know what is causing the problem , we
will not be able to fix it.
Everyone in the conference room stopped talking
at once, as though they had been stunned into
silence.
Rita is in San J ose where she has several
im portant client m eetings.
Because the air conditioning was turned up so
high, everyone in the office wore sweaters.
After the m eeting had finished, we all went to
lunch.
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Take a look at the excerpt from J oshua’s essay and identify som e areas in which he
m ight use subordination.
Now look at J oshua’s revised essay an d com pare your answers. You will probably notice
that there are m any different ways to subordinate sentences.
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Exe rcis e 2
Com bine each senten ce pair into a single sentence using a subordin ating conjunction
and then copy the com bined sentence onto your own sheet of paper.
1. J ake is going to Mexico. There are beautiful beaches in Mexico.
2. A snowstorm disrupted traffic all over the east coast. There will be long delivery delays
this week.
3. My neighbor had his television volum e turned up too high. I banged on his door and
asked him to keep the noise down.
4. J essica prepared the potato salad and the sautéed vegetables. Ashley m arinated the
chicken.
5. Rom eo poisons himself. J uliet awakes to find Rom eo dead and stabs herself with a
dagger.
Exe rcis e 3
Copy the paragraph from J oshua’s essay onto your own sheet of paper. Then edit using
the techniques you have learned in this section. J oin the underlined sentences using
coordination or subordination. Check your revised sentences for punctuation.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
Coordination and subordination join two sentences with related ideas.
Coordination joins sentences with related and equal ideas, whereas subordination joins
sentences with related but unequal ideas.
Sentences can be coordinated using either a coordinating conjunction and a com m a or a
conjunctive adverb and a sem icolon.
Subordinate sentences are characterized by the use of a subordinate conjunction.
In a subordinate sentence, a com m a is used to separate the m ain clause from the
dependent clause if the dependent clause is placed at the beginning of the sentence.
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6 .3 Pa ra lle lis m
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify sentences that are parallel and not parallel.
2. Identify ways to create parallelism in writing.
3. Write and revise sentences using parallelism .
Earlier in this chapter, we learned that increasing sentence variety adds interest to a
piece of writing and m akes the reading process m ore enjoyable for others. Using a
m ixture of sentence lengths and patterns throughout an essay is an im portant writing
technique. However, it is equally im portant to avoid introducing variation within
individual sentences. A strong sentence is com posed of balanced parts that all have the
sam e structure. In this section, we will exam in e how to create a balanced sentence
structure by using parallelism .
U s in g Pa ra lle lis m
Parallelism is the use of sim ilar structure in related words, clauses, or phrases. It creates
a sense of rhythm an d balance within a sentence. As readers, we often correct
faulty parallelism —a lack of parallel structure—intuitively because an unbalanced
sentence sounds awkward and poorly constructed. Read the following sentences aloud:
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : Kelly had to iron, do the washing, and shopping before her
parents arrived.
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : Driving a car requires coordination, patience, and to have good
eyesight.
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : Ali prefers jeans to wearing a suit.
All of these sentences contain faulty parallelism . Although they are factually correct, the
construction is clunky and confusing. In the first exam ple, three different verb form s are
used. In the second and third exam ples, the writer begins each sentence by using a noun
(coordination, jeans), but ends with a phrase (to have good ey esight, w earing a suit).
Now read the sam e three senten ces that have correct parallelism .
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : Kelly had to do the ironing, washing, and shopping before her
parents arrived.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : Driving a car requires coordination, patience, and good
eyesight.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : Ali prefers wearing jeans to wearing a suit.
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When these sentences are written using a parallel structure, they sound m ore
aesthetically pleasing because they are balanced. Repetition of gram m atical construction
also m inim izes the am ount of work the reader has to do to decode the sentence. This
enables the reader to focus on the m ain idea in the sentence and not on how the
sentence is put together.
Tip
A sim ple way to check for parallelism in your writing is to m ake sure you have paired
nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, prepositional phrases with prepositional phrases,
and so on. Underline each elem ent in a sentence an d check that the corresponding
elem ent uses the sam e gram m atical form .
Cre atin g P aralle lis m U s in g Co o rd in atin g Co n ju n ctio n s
When you connect two clauses using a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or,
y et, so), m ake sure that the sam e gram m atical structure is used on each side of the
conjunction. Take a look at the following exam ple:
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : When I walk the dog, I like to lis te n to m u s ic and talkin g to
frie n d s on the phone.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : When I walk the dog, I like lis te n in g to m u s ic and talkin g to
frie n d s on the phone.
The first sentence uses two different verb form s (to listen, talking). In the second
sentence, the gram m atical construction on each side of the coordinating conjunction
(and) is the sam e, creating a parallel senten ce.
The sam e technique should be used for joinin g item s or lists in a series:
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : This com m ittee needs to decide whether the com pany should
re d u ce its w o rkfo rce , cu t its be n e fits , or lo w e rin g w o rke rs ’ w age s .
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : This com m ittee needs to decide whether the com pany should
re d u ce its w o rkfo rce , cu t its be n e fits , or lo w e r w o rke rs ’ w a ge s .
The first sentence contains two item s that use the sam e verb construction (reduce, cut)
and a third item that uses a different verb form (low ering). The second senten ce uses
the sam e verb construction in all three item s, creating a parallel structure.
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Exe rcis e 1
On your own sheet of paper, revise each of the following sentences to create parallel
structure using coordinating conjunctions.
1. Mr. Holloway enjoys reading and to play his guitar at weekends.
2. The doctor told Mrs. Franklin that she should either eat less or should exercise more.
3. Breaking out of the prison compound, the escapees m oved carefully, quietly, and were
quick on their feet.
4. I have read the book, but I have not watched the m ovie version.
5. Deal with a full inbox first thing in the morning, or by setting aside short periods of tim e
in which to answer e-m ail queries.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Cre atin g P aralle lis m U s in g Th a n o r As
When you are m aking a com parison, the two item s being com pared should have a
parallel structure. Com paring two item s without using parallel structure can lead to
confusion about what is being com pared. Com parisons frequently use the words than or
as, and the item s on each side of these com parison words should be parallel. Take a look
at the following exam ple:
Fa u lty p a ralle lis m : Sw im m in g in th e o ce an is m uch tougher than a p o o l.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : Sw im m in g in th e o ce an is m uch tougher than s w im m in g
in a p o o l.
In the first sentence, the elem ents before the com parison word (than ) are not equal to
the elem ents after the com parison word. It appears that the writer is com paring an
action (sw im m ing) with a noun (a pool). In the second sentence, the writer uses the
sam e gram m atical construction to create a parallel structure. This clarifies that an
action is being com pared with another action.
To correct som e instances of faulty parallelism , it m ay be necessary to add or delete
words in a sentence.
Fa u lty p a ralle lis m : A bris k w alk is as beneficial to your health as go in g fo r a ru n .
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : Go in g fo r a bris k w alk is as beneficial to your health as
go in g fo r a ru n .
In this exam ple, it is n ecessary to add the verb phrase going for to the senten ce in order
to clarify that the act of walking is being com pared to the act of running.
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Exe rcis e 2
On your own sheet of paper, revise each of the following sentences to create parallel
structure using than or as.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I would rather work at a second job to pay for a new car than a loan.
How you look in the workplace is just as important as your behavior.
The firefighter spoke more of his childhood than he talked about his job.
Indian cuisine is far tastier than the food of Great Britain.
J im ’s opponent was as tall as J im and he carried far m ore weight.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Cre atin g P aralle lis m U s in g Co rre lative Co n ju n ctio n s
A correlative conjunction is a paired conjunction that connects two equal parts of a
sentence and shows the relationship between them . Com m on correlative conjunctions
include the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
either…or
not only…but also
neither…nor
whether…or
rather…than
both…and
Correlative conjunctions should follow the sam e gram m atical structure to create a
parallel sentence. Take a look at the following exam ple:
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : We can neither w ait for som ething to happen nor ca n w e ta ke
evasive action.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : We can neither w ait for som ething to happen nor ta ke evasive
action.
When using a correlative conjunction, the words, phrases, or clauses following each part
should be parallel. In the first sentence, the construction of the second part of the
sentence does not m atch the construction of the first part. In the second sentence,
om itting needless words an d m atching verb constructions create a parallel structure.
Som etim es, rearrangin g a senten ce corrects faulty parallelism .
Fa u lty p aralle lis m : It was both a long m ovie and poorly written.
Co rre ct p aralle lis m : The m ovie was both long and poorly written.
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Tip
To see exam ples of parallelism in use, read som e of the great historical speeches by
rhetoricians such as Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King J r. Notice how they use
parallel structures to em phasize im portant points and to create a sm ooth, easily
understandable oration.
Here is a link to text, audio, video, and the m usic of Martin Luther King’s speech “I Have
a Dream ”: http:/ / www.m lkonline.net/ dream .htm l.
W ritin g at W o rk
Speechwriters use parallelism not only within sentences but also throughout paragraphs
and beyond. Repeating particular key phrases throughout a speech is an effective way of
tying a paragraph together as a cohesive whole and creating a sense of im portance. This
technique can be adapted to any piece of writing, but it m ay be especially useful for
creating a proposal or other type of persuasive workplace docum ent.
Note that the spelling and gram m ar checker on m ost word processors will not draw
attention to faulty parallelism . When proofreading a docum ent, read it aloud and listen
for sentences that sound awkward or poorly phrased.
Exe rcis e 3
On your own sheet of paper, revise each of the following sentences to create parallel
structure using correlative conjunctions.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The cyclist owns both a m ountain bike and has a racing bike.
The m ovie not only contained lots of action, but also it offered an important lesson.
My current job is neither exciting nor is it m eaningful.
J ason would rather listen to his father than be taking advice from m e.
We are neither interested in buying a vacuum cleaner nor do we want to utilize your
carpet cleaning service.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
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Exe rcis e 4
Read through the following excerpt from Alex’s essay and revise any instances of faulty
parallelism . Rewrite the sentences to create a parallel structure.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Parallelism creates a sense of rhythm and balance in writing by using the sam e
gram m atical structure to express equal ideas.
Faulty parallelism occurs when elem ents of a sentence are not balanced, causing the
sentence to sound clunky and awkward.
Parallelism m ay be created by connecting two clauses or m aking a list using coordinating
conjunctions; by com paring two item s using than or as; or by connecting two parts of a
sentence using correlative conjunctions.
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6 .4 Re fin in g Yo u r W ritin g: En d -o f-Ch ap te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
3. Work with a variety of academ ic and on-the-job, real-world exam ples.
Exe rcis e s
1. Children’s stories are deliberately written in short, sim ple senten ces to avoid
confusion. Most sentences are constructed using the standard subject-verb-object
form at. Choose a children’s story that is suitable for eight- to ten-year-olds.
Rewrite a chapter of the story so that it appeals to a slightly older age group, by
editing for senten ce variety. Experim ent with the techniques you learned in
Section 6.1 "Senten ce Variety", including the three different ways to vary sentence
structure at the beginning of a senten ce and the three different ways to connect
ideas between sentences. Com pare the revised chapter with the original version
and consider how sentence variety can be used to target a particular audience.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
2. Com pile a selection of real-life writing sam ples from the workplace or around the
hom e. You m ight like to choose one of the following: e-m ail, junk m ail, personal
letter, com pany report, social n etworking page, local newspaper, bulletin-board
posting, or public notice. Choose two sam ples that lack sentence variety.
Highlight areas of each writing sam ple that you would edit for senten ce variety
and explain why. Replace any recognizable n am e with a pseudonym , or a
fictitious nam e.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
3. Gro u p activity. Choose a well-known speech, such as Martin Luther King’s “I Have a
Dream ” speech, Winston Churchill’s “Blood, Toil, Tears, and Sweat” speech, or Barack
Obam a’s inaugural address. Make a copy of the speech and, as a group, underline
exam ples of parallelism . Discuss the effects of using parallelism and consider whether it
is always used to achieve the sam e result or whether the writer m anipulates parallelism
to create a variety of responses am ong his or her audience.
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4. Gro u p activity. Working in a sm all group, select a workplace docum ent or
academ ic essay. Exam ine each paragraph an d identify exam ples of sentence
variety, coordination and subordination, and parallelism . Then, choose one
particular paragraph and discuss the following questions:
o
o
o
o
Does the writer
Does the writer
Does the writer
Does the writer
use sentence variety effectively?
connect his or her ideas effectively?
use subordination and coordination correctly?
use parallelism to em phasize his or her points?
As a group, identify the weaker areas of the paragraph and rewrite them . Focus
on sentence structure and sentence variation. Use coordinating conjunctions and
subordinating conjunctions to join sentences.
5. Choose a college essay or a recent piece of writing from your work or everyday
life. Use the techniques you have learned throughout this chapter to edit your
writing for sentence variety, appropriate coordination and subordin ation, and
parallelism . When you have finished, com pare the two versions and write a brief
analysis of how sentence variety, coordination and subordination, and
parallelism help refine a piece of writing.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
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Ch apte r 7 Th e W ritin g Pro ce s s : H o w D o I Be gin ?
7.1 Ap p ly Pre w ritin g Mo d e ls
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Use prewriting strategies to choose a topic and narrow the focus.
If you think that a blank sheet of paper or a blinking cursor on the com puter screen is a
scary sight, you are not alone. Many writers, students, and em ployees find that
beginning to write can be intim idating. When faced with a blank page, however,
experienced writers rem ind them selves that writing, like other everyday activities, is a
process. Every process, from writing to cooking, bike riding, and learning to use a new
cell phone, will get significantly easier with practice.
J ust as you need a recipe, ingredients, and proper tools to cook a delicious m eal, you
also need a plan, resources, and adequate tim e to create a good written com position. In
other words, writing is a process that requires following steps and using strategies to
accom plish your goals.
These are the five steps in the writing process:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Prewriting
Outlining the structure of ideas
Writing a rough draft
Revising
Editing
Effective writing can be sim ply described as good ideas that are expressed well and
arranged in the proper order. This chapter will give you the chance to work on all these
im portant aspects of writing. Although m any m ore prewriting strategies exist, this
chapter covers six: using experience and observations, freewriting, asking questions,
brainstorm ing, m apping, and searching the Internet. Using the strategies in this chapter
can help you overcom e the fear of the blank page and confidently begin the writing
process.
Pre w ritin g
Prewriting is the stage of the writing process during which you transfer your abstract
thoughts into m ore concrete ideas in ink on paper (or in type on a com puter screen).
Although prewriting techniques can be helpful in all stages of the writing process, the
following four strategies are best used when initially deciding on a topic:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Using experience and observations
Reading
Freewriting
Asking questions
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At this stage in the writing process, it is OK if you choose a general topic. Later you will
learn m ore prewriting strategies that will narrow the focus of the topic.
Ch o o s in g a To p ic
In addition to understanding that writing is a process, writers also understand that
choosing a good gen eral topic for an assignm ent is an essential step. Som etim es your
instructor will give you an idea to begin an assignm ent, and other tim es your instructor
will ask you to com e up with a topic on your own. A good topic not only covers what an
assignm ent will be about but also fits the assignm ent’s purpose and its audience.
In this chapter, you will follow a writer nam ed Mariah as she prepares a piece of writing.
You will also be planning one of your own. The first im portant step is for you to tell
yourself why you are writing (to inform , to explain, or som e other purpose) and for
whom you are writing. Write your purpose and your audience on your own sheet of
paper, and keep the paper close by as you read and com plete exercises in this chapter.
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My audience: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
U s in g Exp e rie n ce an d Obs e rvatio n s
When selecting a topic, you m ay also want to consider som ething that interests you or
som ething based on your own life and personal experiences. Even everyday observations
can lead to interesting topics. After writers think about their experiences and
observations, they often take notes on paper to better develop their thoughts. These
notes help writers discover what they have to say about their topic.
Tip
Have you seen an attention-grabbing story on your local news channel? Many current
issues appear on television, in m agazines, and on the Internet. These can all provide
inspiration for your writing.
Re ad in g
Reading plays a vital role in all the stages of the writing process, but it first figures in the
developm ent of ideas and topics. Different kinds of docum ents can help you choose a
topic and also develop that topic. For exam ple, a m agazine advertising the latest
research on the threat of global warm ing m ay catch your eye in the superm arket. This
cover m ay interest you, and you m ay consider global warm ing as a topic. Or m aybe a
novel’s courtroom dram a sparks your curiosity of a particular lawsuit or legal
controversy.
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After you choose a topic, critical reading is essential to the developm ent of a topic. While
reading alm ost any docum ent, you evaluate the author’s point of view by thinking about
his m ain idea and his support. When you judge the author’s argum en t, you discover
m ore about not only the author’s opinion but also your own. If this step already seem s
daunting, rem em ber that even the best writers need to use prewriting strategies to
generate ideas.
Tip
The steps in the writin g process m ay seem tim e consum ing at first, but following these
steps will save you tim e in the future. The m ore you plan in the beginning by reading
and using prewriting strategies, the less tim e you m ay spen d writing and editing later
because your ideas will develop m ore swiftly.
Prewriting strategies depend on your critical reading skills. Reading prewriting exercises
(and outlines and drafts later in the writing process) will further develop your topic and
ideas. As you continue to follow the writing process, you will see how Mariah uses
critical reading skills to assess her own prewriting exercises.
Fre e w ritin g
Freewriting is an exercise in which you write freely about any topic for a set am ount of
tim e (usually three to five m inutes). During the tim e lim it, you m ay jot down any
thoughts that com e to your m ind. Try not to worry about gram m ar, spelling, or
punctuation. Instead, write as quickly as you can without stopping. If you get stuck, just
copy the sam e word or phrase over and over until you com e up with a new thought.
Writing often com es easier when you have a personal connection with the topic you have
chosen. Rem em ber, to generate ideas in your freewriting, you m ay also think about
readings that you have enjoyed or that have challenged your thinkin g. Doing this m ay
lead your thoughts in interesting directions.
Quickly recording your thoughts on paper will help you discover what you have to say
about a topic. When writing quickly, try not to doubt or question your ideas. Allow
yourself to write freely and unselfconsciously. Once you start writing with few
lim itations, you m ay find you have m ore to say than you first realized. Your flow of
thoughts can lead you to discover even m ore ideas about the topic. Freewriting m ay
even lead you to discover another topic that excites you even m ore.
Look at Mariah’s exam ple. The instructor allowed the m em bers of the class to choose
their own topics, an d Mariah thought about her experiences as a com m unications
m ajor. She used this freewriting exercise to help her gen erate m ore concrete ideas from
her own experience.
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Tip
Som e prewriting strategies can be used together. For exam ple, you could use experience
and observations to com e up with a topic related to your course studies. Then you could
use freewriting to describe your topic in m ore detail and figure out what you have to say
about it.
Exe rcis e 1
Freewrite about one event you have recently experienced. With this event in m ind, write
without stopping for five m inutes. After you finish, read over what you wrote. Does
anything stand out to you as a good general topic to write about?
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As kin g Qu e s tio n s
Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? In everyday situations, you pose these kin ds
of questions to get m ore inform ation. Who will be m y partner for the project? When is
the next m eeting? Why is m y car m aking that odd noise? Even the title of this chapter
begins with the question “How do I begin?”
You seek the answers to these questions to gain knowledge, to better understand your
daily experiences, and to plan for the future. Asking these types of questions will also
help you with the writing process. As you choose your topic, answering these questions
can help you revisit the ideas you already have and generate n ew ways to think about
your topic. You m ay also discover aspects of the topic that are unfam iliar to you and that
you would like to learn m ore about. All these idea-gathering techniques will help you
plan for future work on your assignm ent.
When Mariah reread her freewriting notes, she found she had ram bled and her thoughts
were disjointed. She realized that the topic that interested her m ost was the one she
started with, the m edia. She then decided to explore that topic by asking herself
questions about it. Her purpose was to refine m edia into a topic she felt com fortable
writing about. To see how asking questions can help you choose a topic, take a look at
the following chart that Mariah com pleted to record her questions and answers. She
asked herself the questions that reporters and journalists use to gather inform ation for
their stories. The questions are often called the 5WH questions, after their initial letters.
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Figure 7.1 Asking Questions
Tip
Prewriting is very purpose driven ; it does not follow a set of hard-and-fast rules. The
purpose of prewriting is to find and explore ideas so that you will be prepared to write. A
prewriting technique like asking questions can help you both find a topic an d explore it.
The key to effective prewriting is to use the techniques that work best for your thinking
process. Freewriting m ay not seem to fit your thinking process, but keep an open m ind.
It m ay work better than you think. Perhaps brainstorm ing a list of topics m ight better fit
your personal style. Mariah found freewriting and asking questions to be fruitful
strategies to use. In your own prewriting, use the 5WH questions in any way that
benefits your planning.
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Exe rcis e 2
Choose a general topic idea from the prewriting you com pleted in Note 7.9 "Exercise 1".
Then read each question and use your own paper to answer the 5WH questions. As with
Mariah when she explored her writing topic for m ore detail, it is OK if you do not know
all the answers. If you do not know an answer, use your own opinion to speculate, or
guess. You m ay also use factual inform ation from books or articles you previously read
on your topic. Later in the chapter, you will read about additional ways (like searching
the Internet) to answer your questions and explore your guesses.
5WH Questions
1. Who?
_____________________________________________________
2. What?
_____________________________________________________
3. Where?
_____________________________________________________
4. When?
_____________________________________________________
5. Why?
_____________________________________________________
6. How?
_____________________________________________________
Now that you have com pleted som e of the prewriting exercises, you m ay feel less
anxious about starting a paper from scratch. With som e ideas down on paper (or saved
on a com puter), writers are often m ore com fortable continuing the writing process.
After identifying a good general topic, you, too, are ready to continue the process.
Exe rcis e
Write your general topic on your own sheet of paper, under where you recorded your
purpose and audience. Choose it from am ong the topics you listed or explored during
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the prewriting you have done so far. Make sure it is one you feel com fortable with and
feel capable of writing about.
My general topic: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tip
You m ay find that you need to adjust your topic as you m ove through the writing stages
(and as you com plete the exercises in this chapter). If the topic you have chosen is not
working, you can repeat the prewriting activities until you find a better one.
Mo re Pre w ritin g Te ch n iqu e s
The prewriting techniques of freewriting and asking questions helped Mariah think
m ore about her topic, but the following prewriting strategies can help her (and you)
narrow the focus of the topic:
•
•
•
Brainstorm ing
Idea m apping
Searching the Internet
N arro w in g th e Fo cu s
Narrowing the focus m eans breaking up the topic into subtopics, or m ore specific
points. Generating lots of subtopics will help you eventually select the ones that fit the
assignm ent and appeal to you and your audience.
After rereading her syllabus, Mariah realized her general topic, m ass m edia, is too broad
for her class’s short paper requirem ent. Three pages are not enough to cover all the
concerns in m ass m edia today. Mariah also realized that although her readers are other
com m unications m ajors who are interested in the topic, they m ay want to read a paper
about a particular issue in m ass m edia.
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Brain s to rm in g
Brainstorm ing is sim ilar to list m aking. You can m ake a list on your own or in a group
with your classm ates. Start with a blank sheet of paper (or a blank com puter docum ent)
and write your general topic across the top. Underneath your topic, m ake a list of m ore
specific ideas. Think of your general topic as a broad category and the list item s as
things that fit in that category. Often you will find that one item can lead to the next,
creating a flow of ideas that can help you narrow your focus to a m ore specific paper
topic.
The following is Mariah’s brainstorm ing list:
From this list, Mariah could narrow her focus to a particular technology under the broad
category of m ass m edia.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Im agine you have to write an e-m ail to your current boss explaining your prior work
experience, but you do not know where to start. Before you begin the e-m ail, you can use
the brainstorm ing technique to generate a list of em ployers, duties, and responsibilities
that fall under the general topic “work experience.”
Id e a Map p in g
Idea m apping allows you to visualize your ideas on paper using circles, lines, and
arrows. This technique is also known as clustering because ideas are broken down and
clustered, or grouped together. Many writers like this m ethod because the shapes show
how the ideas relate or connect, an d writers can find a focused topic from the
connections m apped. Using idea m apping, you m ight discover interesting connections
between topics that you had not thought of before.
To create an idea m ap, start with your general topic in a circle in the center of a blank
sheet of paper. Then write specific ideas around it and use lines or arrows to connect
them together. Add and cluster as m any ideas as you can think of.
In addition to brainstorm ing, Mariah tried idea m apping. Review the following idea m ap
that Mariah created:
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Figure 7.2 Idea Map
Notice Mariah’s largest circle contains her gen eral topic, m ass m edia. Then, the gen eral
topic branches into two subtopics written in two sm aller circles: television and radio.
The subtopic television branches into even m ore specific topics: cable and DVDs. From
there, Mariah drew m ore circles an d wrote m ore specific ideas: high definition and
digital recording from cable an d Blu-ray from DVDs. The radio topic led Mariah to draw
connections between m usic, downloads versus CDs, and, finally, piracy.
From this idea m ap, Mariah saw she could consider narrowing the focus of her m ass
m edia topic to the m ore specific topic of m usic piracy.
Se arch in g th e In te rn e t
Using search engines on the Internet is a good way to see what kinds of websites are
available on your topic. Writers use search engines not only to understand m ore about
the topic’s specific issues but also to get better acquainted with their audience.
Tip
Look back at the chart you com pleted in Note 7.12 "Exercise 2". Did you guess at any of
the answers? Searchin g the Internet m ay help you find answers to your questions and
confirm your guesses. Be choosy about the websites you use. Make sure they are reliable
sources for the kind of inform ation you seek.
When you search the Internet, type som e key words from your broad topic or words
from your narrowed focus into your browser’s search engine (m any good general and
specialized search engines are available for you to try). Then look over the results for
relevant and interestin g articles.
Results from an Internet search show writers the following inform ation:
•
•
•
Who is talking about the topic
How the topic is being discussed
What specific points are currently being discussed about the topic
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Tip
If the search engin e results are not what you are looking for, revise your key words and
search again. Som e search engin es also offer suggestions for related searches that m ay
give you better results.
Mariah typed the words m usic piracy from her idea m ap into the search engin e Google.
Figure 7.3 Useful Search Engine Results
Not all the results online search engines return will be useful or reliable. Give careful
consideration to the reliability of an online source before selecting a topic based on it.
Rem em ber that factual inform ation can be verified in other sources, both online and in
print. If you have doubts about any inform ation you find, either do not use it or identify
it as potentially unreliable.
The results from Mariah’s search in cluded websites from university publications,
personal blogs, online news sources, and lots of legal cases sponsored by the recording
industry. Reading legal jargon m ade Mariah uncom fortable with the results, so she
decided to look further. Reviewing her m ap, she realized that she was m ore interested in
consum er aspects of m ass m edia, so she refocused her search to m edia technology and
the som etim es confusing array of expensive products that fill electronics stores. Now,
Mariah considers a paper topic on the products that have fed the m ass m edia boom in
everyday lives.
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Exe rcis e 3
In Note 7.12 "Exercise 2", you chose a possible topic an d explored it by answering
questions about it using the 5WH questions. However, this topic m ay still be too broad.
Here, in Note 7.21 "Exercise 3", choose and com plete one of the prewriting strategies to
narrow the focus. Use either brainstorm ing, idea m apping, or searching the Internet.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers. Share what you found and
what interests you about the possible topic(s).
Prewriting strategies are a vital first step in the writing process. First, they help you first
choose a broad topic and then they help you narrow the focus of the topic to a m ore
specific idea. An effective topic ensures that you are ready for the next step.
To pic Ch e cklis t
Developing a Good Topic
The following checklist can help you decide if your narrowed topic is a good topic for
your assignm ent.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Am I interested in this topic?
Would m y audience be interested?
Do I have prior knowledge or experience with this topic? If so, would I be com fortable
exploring this topic and sharing m y experiences?
Do I want to learn m ore about this topic?
Is this topic specific?
Does it fit the length of the assignm ent?
With your narrowed focus in m in d, answer the bulleted questions in the checklist for
developing a good topic. If you can an swer “yes” to all the questions, write your topic on
the line. If you answer “no” to any of the questions, think about another topic or adjust
the one you have and try the prewriting strategies again.
My narrowed topic: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
All writers rely on steps and strategies to begin the writing process.
The steps in the writing process are prewriting, outlining, writing a rough draft, revising,
and editing.
Prewriting is the transfer of ideas from abstract thoughts into words, phrases, and
sentences on paper.
A good topic interests the writer, appeals to the audience, and fits the purpose of the
assignm ent.
Writers often choose a general topic first and then narrow the focus to a m ore specific
topic.
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7.2 Ou tlin in g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the steps in constructing an outline.
2. Construct a topic outline and a sentence outline.
Your prewriting activities and readings have helped you gather inform ation for your
assignm ent. The m ore you sort through the pieces of inform ation you found, the m ore
you will begin to see the connections between them . Patterns and gaps m ay begin to
stand out. But only when you start to organize your ideas will you be able to translate
your raw insights into a form that will com m unicate m eaning to your audience.
Tip
Longer papers require m ore reading and planning than shorter papers do. Most writers
discover that the m ore they know about a topic, the m ore they can write about it with
intelligence and interest.
Organ izin g Id e as
When you write, you need to organize your ideas in an order that m akes sense. The
writing you com plete in all your courses exposes how an alytically an d critically your
m ind works. In som e courses, the only direct contact you m ay have with your instructor
is through the assignm ents you write for the course. You can m ake a good im pression by
spending tim e orderin g your ideas.
Order refers to your choice of what to present first, second, third, and so on in your
writing. The order you pick closely relates to your purpose for writing that particular
assignm ent. For exam ple, when telling a story, it m ay be im portant to first describe the
background for the action. Or you m ay need to first describe a 3-D m ovie projector or a
television studio to help readers visualize the setting and scene. You m ay want to group
your support effectively to convince readers that your point of view on an issue is well
reasoned and worthy of belief.
In longer pieces of writing, you m ay organize different parts in different ways so that
your purpose stands out clearly and all parts of the paper work together to consistently
develop your m ain point.
Me th o d s o f Organ izin g W ritin g
The three com m on m ethods of organizing writing are chronological order, spatial order,
and order of im portance. You will learn m ore about these in Chapter 8 "Writing Essays:
From Start to Finish"; however, you need to keep these m ethods of organization in m in d
as you plan how to arrange the inform ation you have gathered in an outline. An outline
is a written plan that serves as a skeleton for the paragraphs you write. Later, when you
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draft paragraphs in the next stage of the writing process, you will add support to create
“flesh” and “m uscle” for your assignm ent.
When you write, your goal is not only to com plete an assignm ent but also to write for a
specific purpose—perhaps to inform , to explain, to persuade, or for a com bination of
these purposes. Your purpose for writing should always be in the back of your m ind,
because it will help you decide which pieces of inform ation belong together and how you
will order them . In other words, choose the order that will m ost effectively fit your
purpose and support your m ain point.
Table 7.1 "Order versus Purpose" shows the connection between order and purpose.
Table 7.1 Order versus Purpose
Ord e r
Chronological
Order
Spatial Order
Order of
Im portance
Pu rp o s e
To explain the history of an event or a topic
To tell a story or relate an experience
To explain how to do or m ake som ething
To explain the steps in a process
To help readers visualize som ething as you want them to see it
To create a m ain im pression using the senses (sight, touch, taste, sm ell,
and sound)
To persuade or convince
To rank item s by their im portance, benefit, or significance
W ritin g a Th e s is S tate m e n t
One legitim ate question readers always ask about a piece of writing is “What is the big
idea?” (You m ay even ask this question when you are the reader, critically reading an
assignm ent or another docum ent.) Every nonfiction writing task—from the short essay
to the ten-page term paper to the lengthy sen ior thesis—needs a big idea, or a
controlling idea, as the spine for the work. The controlling idea is the m ain idea that you
want to present and develop.
Tip
For a longer piece of writing, the m ain idea should be broader than the m ain idea for a
shorter piece of writing. Be sure to fram e a m ain idea that is appropriate for the length
of the assignm ent. Ask yourself, “How m any pages will it take for m e to explain and
explore this m ain idea in detail?” Be reasonable with your estim ate. Then expand or
trim it to fit the required length.
The big idea, or controlling idea, you want to present in an essay is expressed in a
thesis statem ent. A thesis statem ent is often one sentence long, an d it states your point
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of view. The thesis statem ent is not the topic of the piece of writing but rather what you
have to say about that topic an d what is im portant to tell readers.
Table 7.2 "Topics and Thesis Statem ents" com pares topics and thesis statem ents.
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Table 7.2 Topics and Thesis Statem ents
To p ic
Music piracy
The number of consum er choices
available in m edia gear
E-books and online newspapers
increasing their share of the
m arket
Online education and the new
m edia
Th e s is State m e n t
The recording industry fears that so-called m usic piracy
will dim inish profits and destroy m arkets, but it cannot be
m ore wrong.
Everyone wants the newest and the best digital technology,
but the choices are extensive, and the specifications are
often confusing.
E-books and online newspapers will bring an end to print
m edia as we know it.
Som eday, students and teachers will send avatars to their
online classrooms.
The first thesis statem ent you write will be a prelim inary thesis statem ent, or a
working thesis statem ent. You will need it when you begin to outline your assignm ent as
a way to organize it. As you continue to develop the arrangem ent, you can lim it your
working thesis statem ent if it is too broad or expand it if it proves too narrow for what
you want to say.
Exe rcis e 1
Using the topic you selected in Section 7.1 "Apply Prewriting Models", develop a working
thesis statem ent that states your controlling idea for the piece of writing you are doing.
On a sheet of paper, write your working thesis statem ent.
Tip
You will m ake several attem pts before you devise a working thesis statem ent that you
think is effective. Each draft of the thesis statem ent will bring you closer to the wording
that expresses your m eaning exactly.
W ritin g an Ou tlin e
For an essay question on a test or a brief oral presentation in class, all you m ay need to
prepare is a short, inform al outline in which you jot down key ideas in the order you will
present them . This kind of outline rem inds you to stay focused in a stressful situation
and to include all the good ideas that help you explain or prove your point.
For a longer assignm ent, like an essay or a research paper, m any college instructors
require students to subm it a form al outline before writing a m ajor paper as a way to be
sure you are on the right track and are working in an organized m anner. A form al
outline is a detailed guide that shows how all your supporting ideas relate to each other.
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It helps you distinguish between ideas that are of equal im portance and ones that are of
lesser im portance. You build your paper based on the fram ework created by the outline.
Tip
Instructors m ay also require you to subm it an outline with your final draft to check the
direction of the assignm ent and the logic of your final draft. If you are required to
subm it an outline with the final draft of a paper, rem em ber to revise the outline to
reflect any changes you m ade while writing the paper.
There are two types of form al outlines: the topic outline and the sen tence outline. You
form at both types of form al outlines in the sam e way.
•
•
•
•
•
Place your introduction and thesis statem ent at the beginning, under rom an num eral I.
Use rom an num erals (II, III, IV, V, etc.) to identify m ain points that develop the thesis
statem ent.
Use capital letters (A, B, C, D, etc.) to divide your m ain points into parts.
Use arabic num erals (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc.) if you need to subdivide any As, Bs, or Cs into
sm aller parts.
End with the final rom an num eral expressing your idea for your conclusion.
Here is what the skeleton of a traditional form al outline looks like. The indention helps
clarify how the ideas are related.
1. Introduction
Thesis statem ent
2. Main point 1 → becom es the topic sentence of body paragraph 1
1. Supporting detail → becom es a support sentence of body paragraph 1
1. Subpoint
2. Subpoint
2. Supporting detail
1. Subpoint
2. Subpoint
3. Supporting detail
1. Subpoint
2. Subpoint
3. Main point 2 → becom es the topic sentence of body paragraph 2
1. Supporting detail
2. Supporting detail
3. Supporting detail
4. Main point 3 → becom es the topic sentence of body paragraph 3
1. Supporting detail
2. Supporting detail
3. Supporting detail
5. Conclusion
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Tip
In an outline, any supporting detail can be developed with subpoints. For sim plicity, the
m odel shows them only under the first m ain point.
Tip
Form al outlines are often quite rigid in their organization. As m any instructors will
specify, you cannot subdivide one point if it is only one part. For exam ple, for every
rom an num eral I, there m ust be a For every A, there m ust be a B. For every arabic
num eral 1, there m ust be a 2. See for yourself on the sam ple outlines that follow.
Co n s tru ctin g To p ic Ou tlin e s
A topic outline is the sam e as a sentence outline except you use words or phrases instead
of com plete sentences. Words and phrases keep the outline short and easier to
com prehend. All the headings, however, m ust be written in parallel structure. (For m ore
inform ation on parallel structure, see Chapter 6 "Refining Your Writing: How Do I
Im prove My Writing Technique?".)
Here is the topic outline that Mariah constructed for the essay she is developing. Her
purpose is to inform , and her audience is a general audience of her fellow college
students. Notice how Mariah begins with her thesis statem ent. She then arranges her
m ain points and supporting details in outline form using short phrases in parallel
gram m atical structure.
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Ch e cklis t
Writing an Effective Topic Outline
This checklist can help you write an effective topic outline for your assignm ent. It will
also help you discover where you m ay n eed to do additional reading or prewriting.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Do I have a controlling idea that guides the developm ent of the entire piece of writing?
Do I have three or more m ain points that I want to m ake in this piece of writing? Does
each m ain point connect to m y controlling idea?
Is m y outline in the best order—chronological order, spatial order, or order of
im portance—for m e to present m y m ain points? Will this order help m e get m y m ain
point across?
Do I have supporting details that will help m e inform , explain, or prove m y m ain points?
Do I need to add m ore support? If so, where?
Do I need to m ake any adjustm ents in m y working thesis statem ent before I consider it
the final version?
W ritin g at W o rk
Word processing program s generally have an autom atic num bering feature that can be
used to prepare outlines. This feature autom atically sets indents and lets you use the tab
key to arrange inform ation just as you would in an outline. Although in business this
style m ight be acceptable, in college your instructor m ight have different requirem ents.
Teach yourself how to custom ize the levels of outline num bering in your wordprocessing program to fit your instructor’s preferences.
Exe rcis e 2
Using the working thesis statem ent you wrote in Note 7.32 "Exercise 1" and the reading
you did in Section 7.1 "Apply Prewriting Models", construct a topic outline for your
essay. Be sure to observe correct outline form , including correct indentions and the use
of Rom an and arabic n um erals and capital letters.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your outline. Point out areas of interest from
their outline and what you would like to learn m ore about.
Co n s tru ctin g Se n te n ce Ou tlin e s
A sentence outline is the sam e as a topic outline except you use com plete sentences
instead of words or phrases. Com plete senten ces create clarity and can advance you one
step closer to a draft in the writing process.
Here is the sentence outline that Mariah constructed for the essay she is developing.
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Tip
The inform ation com piled under each rom an num eral will becom e a paragraph in your
final paper. In the previous exam ple, the outline follows the standard five-paragraph
essay arrangem ent, but longer essays will require m ore paragraphs and thus m ore
rom an num erals. If you think that a paragraph m ight becom e too long or stringy, add an
additional paragraph to your outline, renum bering the m ain points appropriately.
W ritin g at W o rk
PowerPoint presentations, used both in schools and in the workplace, are organized in a
way very sim ilar to form al outlines. PowerPoint presentations often contain inform ation
in the form of talking points that the presenter develops with m ore details and exam ples
than are contained on the PowerPoint slide.
Exe rcis e 3
Expan d the topic outline you prepared in Note 7.41 "Exercise 2" to m ake it a sentence
outline. In this outline, be sure to include m ultiple supporting points for your m ain topic
even if your topic outline does not contain them . Be sure to observe correct outline form ,
including correct indentions and the use of Rom an an d arabic num erals and capital
letters.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Writers m ust put their ideas in order so the assignm ent m akes sense. The m ost com m on
orders are chronological order, spatial order, and order of importance.
After gathering and evaluating the inform ation you found for your essay, the next step is
to write a working, or prelim inary, thesis statem ent.
The working thesis statem ent expresses the m ain idea that you want to develop in the
entire piece of writing. It can be m odified as you continue the writing process.
Effective writers prepare a form al outline to organize their m ain ideas and supporting
details in the order they will be presented.
A topic outline uses words and phrases to express the ideas.
A sentence outline uses com plete sentences to express the ideas.
The writer’s thesis statem ent begins the outline, and the outline ends with suggestions
for the concluding paragraph.
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7.3 D ra ftin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify drafting strategies that improve writing.
2. Use drafting strategies to prepare the first draft of an essay.
Drafting is the stage of the writing process in which you develop a com plete first version
of a piece of writing.
Even professional writers adm it that an em pty page scares them because they feel they
need to com e up with som ething fresh and original every tim e they open a blank
docum ent on their com puters. Because you have com pleted the first two steps in the
writing process, you have already recovered from em pty page syndrom e. You have hours
of prewriting and planning already don e. You know what will go on that blank page:
what you wrote in your outline.
Ge ttin g Sta rte d : S trate gie s Fo r D ra ftin g
Your objective for this portion of Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?" is
to draft the body paragraphs of a standard five-paragraph essay. A five-paragraph essay
contains an introduction, three body paragraphs, an d a conclusion. If you are m ore
com fortable starting on paper than on the com puter, you can start on paper and then
type it before you revise. You can also use a voice recorder to get yourself started,
dictating a paragraph or two to get you thinking. In this lesson, Mariah does all her work
on the com puter, but you m ay use pen and paper or the com puter to write a rough draft.
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Makin g th e W ritin g Pro ce s s W o rk fo r Yo u
What m akes the writin g process so beneficial to writers is that it encourages alternatives
to standard practices while m otivating you to develop your best ideas. For instance, the
following approaches, done alone or in com bination with others, m ay im prove your
writing and help you m ove forward in the writing process:
•
•
•
•
•
Be gin w ritin g w ith th e p art yo u kn o w th e m o s t abo u t. You can start with the
third paragraph in your outline if ideas com e easily to m ind. You can start with the
second paragraph or the first paragraph, too. Although paragraphs m ay vary in length,
keep in m ind that short paragraphs m ay contain insufficient support. Readers m ay also
think the writing is abrupt. Long paragraphs m ay be wordy and m ay lose your reader’s
interest. As a guideline, try to write paragraphs longer than one sentence but shorter
than the length of an entire double-spaced page.
W rite o n e p aragrap h at a tim e an d th e n s to p . As long as you com plete the
assignm ent on tim e, you m ay choose how m any paragraphs you complete in one sitting.
Pace yourself. On the other hand, try not to procrastinate. Writers should always m eet
their deadlines.
Take s h o rt bre aks to re fre s h yo u r m in d . This tip m ight be m ost useful if you are
writing a m ultipage report or essay. Still, if you are antsy or cannot concentrate, take a
break to let your m ind rest. But do not let breaks extend too long. If you spend too much
tim e away from your essay, you m ay have trouble starting again. You m ay forget key
points or lose mom entum . Try setting an alarm to lim it your break, and when the tim e is
up, return to your desk to write.
Be re as o n able w ith yo u r go als . If you decide to take ten-m inute breaks, try to stick
to that goal. If you told yourself that you need m ore facts, then com m it to finding them .
Holding yourself to your own goals will create successful writing assignm ents.
Ke e p yo u r au die n ce an d p u rp o s e in m in d as yo u w rite . These aspects of writing
are just as important when you are writing a single paragraph for your essay as when you
are considering the direction of the entire essay.
Of all of these considerations, keeping your purpose and your audience at the front of
your m ind is the m ost im portant key to writing success. If your purpose is to persuade,
for exam ple, you will present your facts and details in the m ost logical and convincing
way you can.
Your purpose will guide your m ind as you com pose your senten ces. Your audience will
guide word choice. Are you writing for experts, for a general audience, for other college
students, or for people who know very little about your topic? Keep asking yourself what
your readers, with their background and experience, need to be told in order to
understand your ideas. How can you best express your ideas so they are totally clear an d
your com m unication is effective?
Tip
You m ay want to identify your purpose and audience on an index card that you clip to
your paper (or keep next to your com puter). On that card, you m ay want to write notes
to yourself—perhaps about what that audience m ight not know or what it needs to
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know—so that you will be sure to address those issues when you write. It m ay be a good
idea to also state exactly what you want to explain to that audience, or to inform them
of, or to persuade them about.
W ritin g at W o rk
Many of the docum ents you produce at work target a particular audience for a particular
purpose. You m ay find that it is highly advantageous to know as m uch as you can about
your target audience and to prepare your m essage to reach that audience, even if the
audience is a coworker or your boss. Menu language is a com m on exam ple. Descriptions
like “organic rom aine” and “free-range chicken” are intended to appeal to a certain type
of custom er though perhaps not to the sam e custom er who craves a thick steak.
Sim ilarly, m ail-order com panies research the dem ographics of the people who buy their
m erchandise. Successful vendors custom ize product descriptions in catalogs to appeal to
their buyers’ tastes. For exam ple, the product descriptions in a skateboarder catalog will
differ from the descriptions in a clothing catalog for m ature adults.
Exe rcis e 1
Using the topic for the essay that you outlined in Section 7.2 "Outlining", describe your
purpose and your audience as specifically as you can. Use your own sheet of paper to
record your responses. Then keep these responses near you during future stages of the
writing process.
My purpose: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
My audience: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
Se ttin g Go a ls fo r Yo u r Firs t D ra ft
A draft is a com plete version of a piece of writing, but it is not the final version. The step
in the writing process after drafting, as you m ay rem em ber, is revising. During revising,
you will have the opportunity to m ake changes to your first draft before you put the
finishing touches on it during the editing and proofreading stage. A first draft gives you
a working version that you can later im prove.
W ritin g at W o rk
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Workplace writing in certain environm ents is done by team s of writers who collaborate
on the planning, writing, and revising of docum ents, such as long reports, technical
m anuals, and the results of scientific research. Collaborators do not need to be in the
sam e room , the sam e building, or even the sam e city. Many collaborations are
conducted over the Internet.
In a perfect collaboration, each contributor has the right to add, edit, and delete text.
Strong com m unication skills, in addition to strong writing skills, are im portant in this
kind of writing situation because disagreem en ts over style, content, process, em phasis,
and other issues m ay arise.
The collaborative software, or docum ent m anagem ent system s, that groups use to work
on com m on projects is som etim es called groupware or workgroup support system s.
The reviewing tool on som e word-processing program s also gives you access to a
collaborative tool that m any sm aller workgroups use when they exchange docum ents.
You can also use it to leave com m ents to yourself.
Tip
If you invest som e tim e now to investigate how the reviewing tool in your word
processor works, you will be able to use it with confidence during the revision stage of
the writing process. Then, when you start to revise, set your reviewing tool to track any
changes you m ake, so you will be able to tinker with text and com m it only those final
changes you want to keep.
D is co ve rin g th e B as ic Ele m e n ts o f a Firs t D ra ft
If you have been using the inform ation in this chapter step by step to help you develop
an assignm ent, you already have both a form al topic outline and a form al sentence
outline to direct your writing. Knowing what a first draft looks like will help you m ake
the creative leap from the outline to the first draft. A first draft should include the
following elem ents:
•
•
•
•
•
An introduction that piques the audience’s interest, tells what the essay is about, and
m otivates readers to keep reading.
A thesis statem ent that presents the m ain point, or controlling idea, of the entire piece of
writing.
A topic sentence in each paragraph that states the m ain idea of the paragraph and
im plies how that m ain idea connects to the thesis statem ent.
Supporting sentences in each paragraph that develop or explain the topic sentence.
These can be specific facts, exam ples, anecdotes, or other details that elaborate on the
topic sentence.
A conclusion that reinforces the thesis statem ent and leaves the audience with a feeling
of com pletion.
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These elem ents follow the standard five-paragraph essay form at, which you probably
first encountered in high school. This basic form at is valid for m ost essays you will write
in college, even m uch longer ones. For now, however, Mariah focuses on writing the
three body paragraphs from her outline. Chapter 8 "Writing Essays: From Start to
Finish" covers writing introductions and conclusions, and you will read Mariah’s
introduction and conclusion in Chapter 8 "Writing Essays: From Start to Finish".
Th e Ro le o f To p ic Se n te n ce s
Topic senten ces m ake the structure of a text and the writer’s basic argum ents easy to
locate and com prehend. In college writing, using a topic sentence in each paragraph of
the essay is the standard rule. However, the topic sentence does not always have to be
the first sentence in your paragraph even if it the first item in your form al outline.
Tip
When you begin to draft your paragraphs, you should follow your outline fairly closely.
After all, you spent valuable tim e developing those ideas. However, as you begin to
express your ideas in com plete sentences, it m ight strike you that the topic sentence
m ight work better at the end of the paragraph or in the m iddle. Try it. Writing a draft, by
its nature, is a good tim e for experim entation.
The topic sentence can be the first, m iddle, or final sentence in a paragraph. The
assignm ent’s audience and purpose will often determ ine where a topic senten ce belongs.
When the purpose of the assignm ent is to persuade, for exam ple, the topic senten ce
should be the first sentence in a paragraph. In a persuasive essay, the writer’s point of
view should be clearly expressed at the beginning of each paragraph.
Choosing where to position the topic senten ce depends not only on your audience and
purpose but also on the essay’s arrangem ent, or order. When you organize inform ation
according to order of im portance, the topic sentence m ay be the fin al sentence in a
paragraph. All the supporting sentences build up to the topic sentence. Chronological
order m ay also position the topic senten ce as the final sentence because the controlling
idea of the paragraph m ay m ake the m ost sense at the end of a sequence.
When you organize inform ation according to spatial order, a topic sentence m ay appear
as the m iddle sentence in a paragraph. An essay arranged by spatial order often contains
paragraphs that begin with descriptions. A reader m ay first need a visual in his or her
m ind before understanding the developm ent of the paragraph. When the topic senten ce
is in the m iddle, it unites the details that com e before it with the ones that com e after it.
Tip
As you read critically throughout the writing process, keep topic sen tences in m ind. You
m ay discover topic sentences that are not always located at the beginning of a
paragraph. For exam ple, fiction writers custom arily use topic ideas, either expressed or
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im plied, to m ove readers through their texts. In nonfiction writing, such as popular
m agazines, topic sentences are often used when the author thinks it is appropriate
(based on the audience and the purpose, of course). A single topic sentence m ight even
control the developm ent of a num ber of paragraphs. For m ore inform ation on topic
sentences, please see Chapter 5 "Writing Paragraphs: Separating Ideas an d Shaping
Content".
Developing topic sentences and thinking about their placem ent in a paragraph will
prepare you to write the rest of the paragraph.
Para grap h s
The paragraph is the m ain structural com ponent of an essay as well as other form s of
writing. Each paragraph of an essay adds another related m ain idea to support the
writer’s thesis, or controlling idea. Each related m ain idea is supported and developed
with facts, exam ples, and other details that explain it. By exploring and refining one
m ain idea at a tim e, writers build a strong case for their thesis.
Pa ragrap h Le n gth
How long should a paragraph be?
One an swer to this im portant question m ay be “long enough”—long enough for you to
address your points and explain your m ain idea. To grab attention or to present succin ct
supporting ideas, a paragraph can be fairly short and consist of two to three sentences. A
paragraph in a com plex essay about som e abstract point in philosophy or archaeology
can be three-quarters of a page or m ore in length. As long as the writer m aintain s close
focus on the topic and does not ram ble, a long paragraph is acceptable in college-level
writing. In general, try to keep the paragraphs longer than one sentence but shorter than
one full page of double-spaced text.
Tip
J ournalistic style often calls for brief two- or three-sentence paragraphs because of how
people read the news, both online and in print. Blogs and other online inform ation
sources often adopt this paragraphing style, too. Readers often skim the first paragraphs
of a great m any articles before settling on the handful of stories they want to read in
detail.
You m ay find that a particular paragraph you write m ay be longer than one that will
hold your audience’s interest. In such cases, you should divide the paragraph into two or
m ore shorter paragraphs, adding a topic statem ent or som e kind of transitional word or
phrase at the start of the new paragraph. Transition words or phrases show the
connection between the two ideas.
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In all cases, however, be guided by what you instructor wants and expects to find in your
draft. Many instructors will expect you to develop a m ature college-level style as you
progress through the sem ester’s assignm ents.
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Exe rcis e 2
To build your sense of appropriate paragraph length, use the Internet to find exam ples
of the following item s. Copy them into a file, identify your sources, and present them to
your instructor with your annotations, or notes.
•
•
A news article written in short paragraphs. Take notes on, or annotate, your selection
with your observations about the effect of com bining paragraphs that develop the sam e
topic idea. Explain how effective those paragraphs would be.
A long paragraph from a scholarly work that you identify through an academ ic search
engine. Annotate it with your observations about the author’s paragraphing style.
Startin g Yo u r Firs t D raft
Now we are finally ready to look over Mariah’s shoulder as she begin s to write her essay
about digital technology and the confusing choices that consum ers face. As she does,
you should have in front of you your outline, with its thesis statem ent and topic
sentences, and the notes you wrote earlier in this lesson on your purpose and audience.
Reviewing these will put both you and Mariah in the proper m in d-set to start.
The following is Mariah’s thesis statem ent.
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Here are the notes that Mariah wrote to herself to characterize her purpose and
audience.
Mariah chose to begin by writing a quick introduction based on her thesis statem ent.
She knew that she would want to im prove her introduction significantly when she
revised. Right now, she just wanted to give herself a starting point. You will read her
introduction again in Section 7.4 "Revising and Editing" when she revises it.
Tip
Rem em ber Mariah’s other options. She could have started directly with any of the body
paragraphs.
You will learn m ore about writing attention-getting introductions and effective
conclusions in Chapter 8 "Writing Essays: From Start to Finish".
With her thesis statem ent and her purpose and audience notes in front of her, Mariah
then looked at her sentence outline. She chose to use that outline because it in cludes the
topic sentences. The following is the portion of her outline for the first body paragraph.
The rom an num eral II identifies the topic sen tence for the paragraph, capital letters
indicate supporting details, and arabic num erals label subpoints.
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Mariah then began to expand the ideas in her outline into a paragraph. Notice how the
outline helped her guarantee that all her sentences in the body of the paragraph develop
the topic senten ce.
Tip
If you write your first draft on the com puter, consider creating a new file folder for each
course with a set of subfolders inside the course folders for each assignm ent you are
given. Label the folders clearly with the course nam es, an d label each assignm ent folder
and word processing docum ent with a title that you will easily recognize. The
assignm ent nam e is a good choice for the docum ent. Then use that subfolder to store all
the drafts you create. When you start each n ew draft, do not just write over the last one.
Instead, save the draft with a new tag after the title—draft 1, draft 2, and so on—so that
you will have a com plete history of drafts in case your instructor wishes you to subm it
them .
In your docum ents, observe any form atting requirem ents—for m argins, headers,
placem ent of page num bers, and other layout m atters—that your instructor requires.
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Exe rcis e 3
Study how Mariah m ade the transition from her sentence outline to her first draft. First,
copy her outline onto your own sheet of paper. Leave a few spaces between each part of
the outline. Then copy sentences from Mariah’s paragraph to align each sentence with
its corresponding entry in her outline.
Co n tin u in g th e Firs t D raft
Mariah continued writing her essay, m oving to the second and third body paragraphs.
She had supporting details but no num bered subpoints in her outline, so she had to
consult her prewriting notes for specific inform ation to include.
Tip
If you decide to take a break between finishin g your first body paragraph an d starting
the next one, do not start writing im m ediately when you return to your work. Put
yourself back in context and in the m ood by rereading what you have already written.
This is what Mariah did. If she had stopped writing in the m iddle of writing the
paragraph, she could have jotted down som e quick notes to herself about what she
would write next.
Preceding each body paragraph that Mariah wrote is the appropriate section of her
sentence outline. Notice how she expanded rom an num eral III from her outline into a
first draft of the second body paragraph. As you read, ask yourself how closely she
stayed on purpose and how well she paid attention to the needs of her audience.
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Mariah then began her third and final body paragraph using rom an num eral IV from
her outline.
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Exe rcis e 4
Reread body paragraphs two and three of the essay that Mariah is writing. Then an swer
the questions on your own sheet of paper.
1. In body paragraph two, Mariah decided to develop her paragraph as a nonfiction
narrative. Do you agree with her decision? Explain. How else could she have chosen to
develop the paragraph? Why is that better?
2. Compare the writing styles of paragraphs two and three. What evidence do you have that
Mariah was getting tired or running out of steam ? What advice would you give her?
Why?
3. Choose one of these two body paragraphs. Write a version of your own that you think
better fits Mariah’s audience and purpose.
W ritin g a Title
A writer’s best choice for a title is one that alludes to the m ain point of the entire essay.
Like the headlin e in a newspaper or the big, bold title in a m agazin e, an essay’s title
gives the audience a first peek at the content. If readers like the title, they are likely to
keep reading.
Following her outline carefully, Mariah crafted each paragraph of her essay. Moving step
by step in the writing process, Mariah finished the draft and even in cluded a brief
concluding paragraph (you will read her conclusion in Chapter 8 "Writing Essays: From
Start to Finish"). She then decided, as the fin al touch for her writing session, to add an
engaging title.
W ritin g Yo u r Ow n Firs t D ra ft
Now you m ay begin your own first draft, if you have not already don e so. Follow the
suggestions and the guidelines presented in this section.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
Make the writing process work for you. Use any and all of the strategies that help you
m ove forward in the writing process.
Always be aware of your purpose for writing and the needs of your audience. Cater to
those needs in every sensible way.
Rem em ber to include all the key structural parts of an essay: a thesis statem ent that is
part of your introductory paragraph, three or more body paragraphs as described in your
outline, and a concluding paragraph. Then add an engaging title to draw in readers.
Write paragraphs of an appropriate length for your writing assignm ent. Paragraphs in
college-level writing can be a page long, as long as they cover the m ain topics in your
outline.
Use your topic outline or your sentence outline to guide the developm ent of your
paragraphs and the elaboration of your ideas. Each m ain idea, indicated by a rom an
num eral in your outline, becom es the topic of a new paragraph. Develop it with the
supporting details and the subpoints of those details that you included in your outline.
Generally speaking, write your introduction and conclusion last, after you have fleshed
out the body paragraphs.
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7.4 Re vis in g an d Ed itin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify m ajor areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
2. Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing.
3. Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft.
Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly im prove your
essay. Both are very im portant elem ents of the writing process. You m ay think that a
com pleted first draft m eans little im provem en t is needed. However, even experienced
writers need to im prove their drafts and rely on peers during revisin g and editing. You
m ay know that athletes m iss catches, fum ble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget
steps, turn too slowly, or m iss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the m ore they
practice, the stronger their perform ance will becom e. Web designers seek better im ages,
a m ore clever design, or a m ore appealing background for their web pages. Writing has
the sam e capacity to profit from im provem ent and revision.
U n d e rs tan d in g th e Pu rp o s e o f Re vis in g an d Ed itin g
Revising and editing allow you to exam ine two im portant aspects of your writing
separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.
•
•
When you revise, you take a second look at your ideas. You m ight add, cut, m ove, or
change inform ation in order to m ake your ideas clearer, m ore accurate, m ore interesting,
or more convincing.
When you edit, you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or
change words. You fix any problem s in gram m ar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
You im prove your writing style. You m ake your essay into a polished, m ature piece of
writing, the end product of your best efforts.
Tip
How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are som e strategies that
writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them
over the course of this sem ester; then keep using the ones that bring results.
•
•
•
•
Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to m ake
changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it
objectively.
Ask som eone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism .
Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?
Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is
located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.
Many people hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up only negative
vibes that provoke feelings that m ake them blush, grum ble, or shout. However, as a
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writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and
have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your
ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.
Cre atin g U n ity an d Co h e re n ce
Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will
stay on purpose an d not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are
rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing m ay becom e less than
they want it to be. Their writing m ay no longer be clear and concise, and they m ay be
adding inform ation that is not needed to develop the m ain idea.
When a piece of writing has unity, all the ideas in each paragraph an d in the entire essay
clearly belong an d are arranged in an order that m akes logical sense. When the writing
has coherence, the ideas flow sm oothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea
leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.
Tip
Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problem s with unity and coherence.
Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself
confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.
Cre atin g U n ity
Som etim es writers get caught up in the m om ent and cannot resist a good digression.
Even though you m ight enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned
digressions usually harm a piece of writing.
Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her
essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What
Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed
from the m ain topic of her third paragraph an d included com m ents about the sales staff
at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic
sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.
Read the following paragraph twice, the first tim e without Mariah’s changes, and the
second tim e with them .
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Exe rcis e 1
1. Answer the following two questions about Mariah’s paragraph:
1. Do you agree with Mariah’s decision to m ake the deletions she m ade? Did she cut
too m uch, too little, or just enough? Explain.
2. Is the explanation of what screen resolution m eans a digression? Or is it audience
friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph? Explain.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
2. Now start to revise the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 7 "Writing Your Own
First Draft". Reread it to find any statem ents that affect the unity of your writing. Decide
how best to revise.
Tip
When you reread your writing to find revisions to m ake, look for each type of problem in
a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problem s with unity. Read
it straight through a second tim e to find problem s with coherence. You m ay follow this
sam e practice during m any stages of the writing process.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Many com panies hire copyeditors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest
possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copyeditors are responsible for suggesting
revisions and style changes; proofreaders check docum ents for any errors in
capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many tim es, these tasks are
done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients.
Cre atin g Co h e re n ce
Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs
are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow sm oothly. Adding transitions
is not the only way to im prove coherence, but they are often useful and give a m ature
feel to your essays. Table 7.3 "Com m on Transitional Words and Phrases" groups m an y
com m on transitions according to their purpose.
Table 7.3 Com m on Transitional Words and Phrases
Tran s itio n s Th at Sh o w Se qu e n ce o r Tim e
after
before
later
afterward
before long
m eanwhile
as soon as
finally
next
at first
first, second, third
soon
at last
in the first place
then
Tran s itio n s Th at Sh o w Po s itio n
above
across
at the bottom
at the top
behind
below
beside
beyond
inside
near
next to
opposite
to the left, to the right, to the
under
where
side
Tran s itio n s Th at Sh o w a Co n clu s io n
indeed
hence
in conclusion
in the final analysis
therefore
thus
Tran s itio n s Th at Co n tin u e a Lin e o f Th o u gh t
consequently
furthermore
additionally
because
besides the fact
following this idea
further
in addition
in the sam e way
m oreover
looking further
considering…, it is clear
that
Tran s itio n s Th at Ch an ge a Lin e o f Th o u gh t
but
yet
however
nevertheless
on the contrary
on the other hand
Tran s itio n s Th at Sh o w Im p o rtan ce
above all
best
especially
in fact
m ore important
m ost im portant
m ost
worst
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Tran s itio n s Th at In tro d u ce th e Fin al Th o u gh ts in a Paragrap h o r
Es s ay
finally
last
in conclusion
m ost of all
least of all
last of all
All-Pu rp o s e Tran s itio n s to Op e n Paragraph s o r to Co n n e ct Ide as
In s id e Paragraph s
adm ittedly
at this point
certainly
granted
it is true
generally speaking
in general
in this situation
no doubt
no one denies
obviously
of course
to be sure
undoubtedly
unquestionably
Tran s itio n s th at In tro d u ce Exam ple s
for instance
for exam ple
Tran s itio n s Th at Clarify th e Ord e r o f Eve n ts o r Ste p s
first, second, third
generally, furtherm ore,
in the first place, also,
finally
last
in the first place,
in the first place,
furthermore, finally
likewise, lastly
After Maria revised for unity, she next exam in ed her paragraph about televisions to
check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or
perhaps reword the text to m ake the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she
has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.
Tip
Many writers m ake their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the
version on-screen. They conventionally use a sm all arrow called a caret (^ ) to show
where to insert an addition or correction.
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Exe rcis e 2
1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.
1. Do you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah m ade to her
paragraph? Which would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain.
2. What transition words or phrases did Mariah add to her paragraph? Why did she
choose each one?
3. What effect does adding additional sentences have on the coherence of the
paragraph? Explain. When you read both versions aloud, which version has a
m ore logical flow of ideas? Explain.
2. Now return to the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 7 "Writing Your Own First
Draft" and revise it for coherence. Add transition words and phrases where they are
needed, and m ake any other changes that are needed to im prove the flow and connection
between ideas.
Be in g Cle a r an d Co n cis e
Som e writers are very m ethodical and pain staking when they write a first draft. Other
writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do
either of these com posing styles m atch your style? Or is your com posing style
som ewhere in between? No m atter which description best fits you, the first draft of
alm ost every piece of writing, no m atter its author, can be m ade clearer and m ore
concise.
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If you have a tendency to write too m uch, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If
you have a tendency to be vague or im precise in your wording, you will need to find
specific words to replace an y overly general language.
Id e n tifyin g W o rd in e s s
Som etim es writers use too m any words when fewer words will appeal m ore to their
audience and better fit their purpose. Here are som e com m on exam ples of wordiness to
look for in your draft. Elim inating wordiness helps all readers, because it m akes your
ideas clear, direct, an d straightforward.
•
Se n te n ce s th at be gin w ith There is o r There are .
W o rd y: There are two m ajor experim ents that the Biology Departm ent
sponsors.
Re vis e d : The Biology Departm ent sponsors two m ajor experim ents.
•
Se n te n ce s w ith u n n e ce s s ary m o d ifie rs .
W o rd y: Two extrem ely fam ous and well-known consum er advocates spoke
eloquently in favor of the proposed im portant legislation.
Re vis e d : Two well-known consum er advocates spoke in favor of the proposed
legislation.
•
Se n te n ce s w ith d e a d w o o d p h ras e s th at ad d little to th e m e an in g. Be
judicious when you use phrases such as in term s of, w ith a m ind to, on the
subject of, as to w hether or not, m ore or less, as far as…is concerned, and sim ilar
expressions. You can usually find a m ore straightforward way to state your point.
W o rd y: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the com pany plans to
focus its efforts in the area of geotherm al energy.
A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process
of preparation.
Re vis e d : As a world leader in green technology, the com pany plans to focus on
geotherm al energy.
A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.
•
Se n te n ce s in th e p as s ive vo ice o r w ith fo rm s o f th e ve rbto be. Sentences
with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the
sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of
the sentence perform s the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong
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active-voice verbs in place of form s of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid
passive voice when you can.
W o rd y: It m ight perhaps be said that using a GPS device is som ething that is a
benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
Re vis e d : Using a GPS device ben efits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
•
Se n te n ce s w ith co n s tru ctio n s th a t can be s h o rte n e d .
W o rd y: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, m ay becom e as
com m onplace as the cell phone.
My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book
reader, too.
Re vis e d : The e-book reader, a recent invention, m ay becom e as com m onplace
as the cell phone.
My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.
Exe rcis e 3
Now return once m ore to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for
unnecessary words. Try m aking your sentences as concise as they can be.
Ch o o s in g Sp e cific, Ap p ro p riate W o rd s
Most college essays should be written in form al English suitable for an academ ic
situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For
m ore inform ation about word choice, see Chapter 3 "Working with Words: Which Word
Is Right?".
•
•
•
•
•
•
Avo id s lan g. Find alternatives to bum m er, kew l, and rad.
Avo id lan gu age th at is o ve rly cas u al. Write about “m en and wom en” rather than
“girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A form al tone calls for
form al language.
Avo id co n tractio n s . Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m , have not in
place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
Avo id clich é s . Overused expressions such as green w ith envy , face the m usic, better
late than never, and sim ilar expressions are em pty of m eaning and m ay not appeal to
your audience.
Be care fu l w h e n yo u u s e w o rd s th at s o u n d alike bu t h ave diffe re n t
m e an in gs . Som e exam ples are allusion/ illusion, com plem ent/ com plim ent,
council/ counsel, concurrent/ consecutive, founder/ flounder, and historic/ historical.
When in doubt, check a dictionary.
Ch o o s e w o rd s w ith th e co n n o tatio n s yo u w an t. Choosing a word for its
connotations is as important in form al essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing.
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•
Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of
arrogant and conceited.
U s e s p e cific w o rd s rath e r th an o ve rly ge n e ral w o rd s . Find synonym s for thing,
people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to
m ake your exact m eaning clear.
Now read the revisions Mariah m ade to m ake her third paragraph clearer an d m ore
concise. She has already incorporated the changes she m ade to im prove unity and
coheren ce.
Exe rcis e 4
1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph:
1. Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explain in your own words
how changes in word choice have affected Mariah’s writing.
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2. Do you agree with the changes that Mariah m ade to her paragraph? Which
changes would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other
changes would you have m ade?
3. What effect does rem oving contractions and the pronoun y ou have on the tone of
the paragraph? How would you characterize the tone now? Why?
2. Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problem s with word
choice. Be sure that your draft is written in form al language and that your word choice is
specific and appropriate.
Co m p le tin g a Pe e r Re vie w
After working so closely with a piece of writin g, writers often need to step back and ask
for a m ore objective reader. What writers m ost need is feedback from readers who can
respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to
som eone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and
weaknesses.
You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback
and assessing what is m ost helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise
your draft. This process is called peer review.
You can work with a partner in your class an d identify specific ways to strengthen each
other’s essays. Although you m ay be uncom fortable sharing your writing at first,
rem em ber that each writer is working toward the sam e goal: a final draft that fits the
audience and the purpose. Maintain ing a positive attitude when providing feedback will
put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful fram ework for
the peer review session.
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Qu e s tio n s fo r Pe e r Re vie w
Title of essay: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Date: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Writer’s nam e: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Peer reviewer’s nam e: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
1. This essay is about_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
2. Your m ain points in this essay
are_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
3. What I m ost liked about this essay
is_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
4. These three points struck m e as your strongest:
1. Point: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Why: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2. Point: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Why: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
3. Point: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Why: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
5. These places in your essay are not clear to m e:
1. Where: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Needs im provem ent
because_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2. Where: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Needs im provem ent because
____________________________________________
3. Where: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Needs im provem ent because
____________________________________________
6. The one additional change you could m ake that would improve this essay significantly is
____________________________________________.
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W ritin g at W o rk
One of the reasons why word-processing program s build in a reviewing feature is that
workgroups have becom e a com m on feature in m any busin esses. Writing is often
collaborative, and the m em bers of a workgroup and their supervisors often critique
group m em bers’ work and offer feedback that will lead to a better final product.
Exe rcis e 5
Exchange essays with a classm ate an d com plete a peer review of each other’s draft in
progress. Rem em ber to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your
responses. Focus on providing one positive com m ent and one question for m ore
inform ation to the author.
U s in g Fe e d back Obje ctive ly
The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer
reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses
and delights a reader so that you can im prove your work before sharing the final draft
with a wider audience (or your intended audience).
It m ay not be necessary to incorporate every recom m en dation your peer reviewer
m akes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer
reviewers, you m ight want to take that feedback into consideration in future
assignm ents. For exam ple, if you read consistent com m ents about a need for m ore
research, then you m ay want to consider including m ore research in future assignm ents.
U s in g Fe e d back fro m Mu ltip le So u rce s
You m ight get feedback from m ore than one reader as you share different stages of your
revised draft. In this situation, you m ay receive feedback from readers who do not
understand the assignm ent or who lack your involvem ent with and enthusiasm for it.
You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two im portant criteria:
1. Determ ine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignm ent.
2. Determ ine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.
Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.
Exe rcis e 6
Work with two partners. Go back to Note 7.81 "Exercise 4" in this lesson and com pare
your responses to Activity A, about Mariah’s paragraph, with your partners’. Recall
Mariah’s purpose for writing and her audience. Then, working individually, list where
you agree and where you disagree about revision needs.
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Ed itin g Yo u r D ra ft
If you have been in corporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced
m ultiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes.
Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have m ade sure that you sufficiently
supported your ideas. You have checked for problem s with unity and coherence. You
have exam ined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words an d to
replace weak wording with specific an d appropriate wording.
The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you exam in e the
surface features of your text. You exam ine your spelling, gram m ar, usage, and
punctuation. You also m ake sure you use the proper form at when creating your finished
assignm ent.
Tip
Editing often takes tim e. Budgeting tim e into the writing process allows you to com plete
additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writin g helps you create a
finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few m ore tips to rem em ber
about your readers:
•
•
•
•
•
Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice m isspellings.
Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward,
poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
Readers notice when every sentence has the sam e rhythm as every other sentence, with
no variety.
Readers do not cheer when you use there, their, and they ’re correctly, but they notice
when you do not.
Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignm ent and your attention
to detail in the delivery of an error-free docum ent..
The first section of this book offers a useful review of gram m ar, m echanics, and usage.
Use it to help you elim inate m ajor errors in your writing and refine your understanding
of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, too, from peer tutors in
your academ ic departm ent or in the college’s writing lab. In the m eantim e, use the
checklist to help you edit your writing.
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Ch e cklis t
Editing Your Writing
Gra m m a r
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Are som e sentences actually sentence fragm ents?
Are som e sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them ?
Do som e sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
Does every verb agree with its subject?
Is every verb in the correct tense?
Are tense form s, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
Have I used w ho and w hom correctly?
Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
Have I used the correct com parative and superlative form s of adjectives and adverbs?
Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?
Se n te n ce Stru ctu re
•
•
•
•
Are all m y sentences simple sentences, or do I vary m y sentence structure?
Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
Do I see any m istakes in parallel structure?
Pu n ctu a tio n
•
•
•
•
Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
Can I justify the use of every exclam ation point?
Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive form s?
Have I used quotation marks correctly?
Me ch a n ics an d U s a ge
•
•
•
•
Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them ?
Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
Can I find any errors in the use of comm only confused words, such as to/ too/ tw o?
Tip
Be careful about relying too m uch on spelling checkers an d gram m ar checkers. A
spelling checker cannot recognize that you m eant to write principle but wrote principal
instead. A gram m ar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The
program does not understand your m eaning; it m akes its check against a general set of
form ulas that m ight not apply in each instance. If you use a gram m ar checker, accept
the suggestions that m ake sense, but consider why the suggestions cam e up.
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Tip
Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a m istake. Set your paper
aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or m ore, so your m ind will rest. Som e
professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling an d
punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention
to every word, letter, and punctuation m ark.
If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classm ate, or a peer
tutor to m ake a final pass on your paper to look for anything you m issed.
Fo rm attin g
Rem em ber to use proper form at when creatin g your finished assignm ent. Som etim es an
instructor, a departm ent, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions
on titles, m argins, page num bers, or the location of the writer’s nam e. These
requirem ents m ay be m ore detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers,
which often observe the Am erican Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language
Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.
To ensure the form at is correct and follows any specific instructions, m ake a final check
before you subm it an assignm ent.
Exe rcis e 7
With the help of the checklist, edit and proofread your essay.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your
work before producing a final draft.
During revising, you add, cut, move, or change inform ation in order to improve content.
During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express
your ideas and fix any problem s in gram m ar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
Unity in writing m eans that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly
belong together and are arranged in an order that m akes logical sense.
Coherence in writing m eans that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea
leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
Transitional words and phrases effectively m ake writing m ore coherent.
Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
Effective form al writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions,
clichés, and overly general words.
Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is
the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only
useful feedback.
Rem em ber to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available
resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to
im prove your editing skills.
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7.5 Th e W ritin g Pro ce s s : En d -o f-Ch a p te r Exe rcis e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter.
2. Work collaboratively with other students.
3. Work with a variety of academ ic and on-the-job, real-world exam ples.
Exe rcis e s
1. In this chapter, you have thought and read about the topic of m ass m edia. Starting with
the title “The Future of Inform ation: How It Will Be Created, Transm itted, and
Consum ed,” narrow the focus of the topic until it is suitable for a two- to three-page
paper. Then narrow your topic with the help of brainstorm ing, idea m apping, and
searching the Internet until you select a final topic to explore. Keep a journal or diary in
which you record and com m ent on everything you did to choose a final topic. Then
record what you will do next to explore the idea and create a thesis statem ent.
2. Write a thesis statem ent and a form al sentence outline for an essay about the
writing process. Include separate paragraphs for prewriting, drafting, and
revising and editing. Your audience will be a general audience of educated adults
who are unfam iliar with how writing is taught at the college level. Your purpose is
to explain the stages of the writing process so that readers will understand its
benefits.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate and com pare your answers.
3. Pieces of writing in a variety of real-life and work-related situations would benefit from
revising and editing. Consider the following list of real-life and work-related pieces of
writing: e-m ails, greeting card m essages, junk m ail, late-night television com m ercials,
social networking pages, local newspapers, bulletin-board postings, and public notices.
Find and subm it at least two exam ples of writing that needs revision. Explain what
changes you would m ake. Replace any recognizable nam es with pseudonym s.
4. Gro u p activity. At work, an em ployer m ight som eday ask you to contribute to the
research base for an essay such as the one Mariah wrote or the one you wrote while
working through this chapter. Choosing either her topic or your own, compile a list of at
least five sources. Then, working in a group of four students, bring in printouts or PDF
files of Internet sources or paper copies of non-Internet sources for the other group
m em bers to exam ine. In a group report, rate the reliability of each other’s sources.
5. Gro u p activity. Working in a peer-review group of four, go to Section 7.3 "Drafting"
and reread the draft of the first two body paragraphs of Mariah’s essay, “Digital
Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” Review those two paragraphs
using the sam e level of inspection given to the essay’s third paragraph in Section 7.4
"Revising and Editing". Suggest and agree on changes to improve unity and coherence,
elim inate unneeded words, and refine word choice. Your purpose is to help Mariah
produce two effective paragraphs for a form al college-level essay about her topic.
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Ch apte r 8 W ritin g Es s ays : Fro m Start to Fin is h
8 .1 D e ve lo p in g a S tro n g, Cle ar Th e s is State m e n t
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Develop a strong, clear thesis statem ent with the proper elem ents.
2. Revise your thesis statem ent.
Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably
had trouble following his train of thought as he jum ped around from point to point,
either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too m any
details on a m eaningless elem ent. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then m oved to
the beginning and later added details to the m iddle. His ideas were probably scattered,
and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had m any
questions.
J ust as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized m ess, an essay can fall into the sam e
trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers n eed a thesis statem ent to
provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in
the body.
J ust like a topic senten ce sum m arizes a single paragraph, the thesis statem ent
sum m arizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to m ake in your essay,
while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s
destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you
m ay find that it needs revision as the essay develops.
Ele m e n ts o f a Th e s is State m e n t
For every essay you write, you m ust focus on a central idea. This idea stem s from a topic
you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not
enough m erely to discuss a general topic or sim ply answer a question with a yes or no.
You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea—the
m ain idea upon which you build your thesis.
Rem em ber that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the
question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you m ust ask yourself,
“What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to
form ing a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.
A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is
specific an d focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be
dem onstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay an d suggests how you
will organize your inform ation. Rem em ber that a thesis statem ent does not sum m arize
an issue but rather dissects it.
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A Stro n g Th e s is State m e n t
A strong thesis statem ent contains the following qualities.
Sp e cificity. A thesis statem ent m ust concentrate on a specific area of a general topic.
As you m ay recall, the creation of a thesis statem ent begins when you choose a broad
subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic.
For exam ple, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statem ent would focus on a
specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.
Pre cis io n . A strong thesis statem ent m ust be precise enough to allow for a coherent
argum ent and to rem ain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for
individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statem ent m ust m ake
an exact claim about it, such as that lim ited options exist for those who are uninsured by
their em ployers. You m ust further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding
these lim ited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.
Ability to be argu e d . A thesis statem ent m ust present a relevant and specific
argum ent. A factual statem ent often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis
statem ent contains a point of view that can be supported with eviden ce.
Ability to be d e m o n s trate d . For any claim you m ake in your thesis, you m ust be able
to provide reason s and exam ples for your opinion. You can rely on personal
observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to dem onstrate that
what you assert is valid. A worthy argum ent is backed by exam ples and details.
Fo rce fu ln e s s . A thesis statem ent that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact,
m aking an argum ent. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others m ight oppose.
Co n fid e n ce . In addition to using force in your thesis statem ent, you m ust also use
confiden ce in your claim . Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’
sense of your confiden ce because these phrases im ply that you are the only person who
feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has in sufficient backing. Taking an
authoritative stance on the m atter persuades your readers to have faith in your
argum ent and open their m in ds to what you have to say.
Tip
Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not
contain phrases such as in m y opinion or I believe. These statem ents reduce your
credibility and weaken your argum ent. Your opinion is m ore convin cing when you use a
firm attitude.
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Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statem ent for each of the following topics.
Rem em ber to m ake each statem ent specific, precise, dem onstrable, forceful and
confident.
Topics
•
•
•
•
•
Texting while driving
The legal drinking age in the United States
Steroid use am ong professional athletes
Abortion
Racism
Exam p le s o f Ap p ro p riate Th e s is Sta te m e n ts
Each of the following thesis statem ents m eets several of the following requirem ents:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Specificity
Precision
Ability to be argued
Ability to be dem onstrated
Forcefulness
Confidence
1. The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the
challenge of black m ales who lived through segregation and integration in the United
States.
2. Closing all Am erican borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle
illegal im m igration.
3. Shakespeare’s use of dram atic irony in Rom eo and Juliet spoils the outcom e for the
audience and weakens the plot.
4. J . D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Ry e, Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel
who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect him self, he acts like a
phony on m any occasions.
5. Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, prom otes fairer
settlem ents, and reflects a m ore realistic view of the causes for m arital breakdown.
6. Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure m ethod of
preventing future drug addicts.
7. In today’s crum bling job m arket, a high school diplom a is not significant enough
education to land a stable, lucrative job.
Tip
You can find thesis statem ents in m any places, such as in the news; in the opinions of
friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Becom e aware
of thesis statem ents in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their
reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statem ents as
well, as these can becom e m aterial for future essays.
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Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statem ent and have seen
exam ples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when com posing your own thesis:
•
A thesis is weak when it is sim ply a declaration of your subject or a description of
what you will discuss in your essay.
W e ak th e s is s tate m e n t: My paper will explain why im agination is m ore
im portant than knowledge.
•
A thesis is weak when it m akes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults
the opposing side.
W e ak th e s is s tate m e n t: Religious radicals across Am erica are trying to
legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.
•
A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or som ething that no one can
disagree with or provides a dead end.
W e ak th e s is s tate m e n t: Advertising com panies use sex to sell their products.
•
A thesis is weak when the statem ent is too broad.
W e ak th e s is s tate m e n t: The life of Abraham Lincoln was long an d
challenging.
Exe rcis e 2
Read the following thesis statem ents. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak
or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then revise the weak statem ents
so that they conform to the requirem ents of a strong thesis.
1. The subject of this paper is m y experience with ferrets as pets.
2. The governm ent m ust expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in
order to prepare for the im pending end of oil.
3. Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
4. In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot m achines should not be legalized in
Baltim ore.
5. Despite his prom ises during his cam paign, President Kennedy took few executive
m easures to support civil rights legislation.
6. Because m any children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is
clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
7. My experience with young children has taught m e that I want to be a disciplinary parent
because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightm are.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for som ething through an e-m ail.
J ust as a thesis statem ent organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-m ail request.
While your e-m ail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statem ent in your first
paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and
what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential
inform ation needed to expand upon your request.
Th e s is State m e n t Re vis io n
Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to m odify it to reflect
exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Rem em ber from Chapter 7 "The Writing
Process: How Do I Begin?" that your thesis statem ent begins as a
working thesis statem ent, an indefinite statem ent that you m ake about your topic early
in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.
Working thesis statem ents often becom e stronger as you gather inform ation and form
new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis
so that it m atches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.
Tip
The best way to revise your thesis statem ent is to ask questions about it and then
exam ine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and form ing
definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a m ore precise point of view, which
you can then incorporate into your thesis statem ent.
W ays to Re vis e Yo u r Th e s is
You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following
steps:
1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people, every thin g, society ,
or life, with m ore precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.
W o rkin g th e s is : Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.
Re vis e d th e s is : Recent college graduates m ust have discipline and persisten ce
in order to find and m aintain a stable job in which they can use an d be
appreciated for their talents.
The revised thesis m akes a m ore specific statem ent about success and what it
m eans to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does
not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like
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people and w ork hard, the writer can better focus his or her research and gain
m ore direction in his or her writing.
2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your
thesis.
W o rkin g th e s is : The welfare system is a joke.
Re vis e d th e s is : The welfare system keeps a socioeconom ic class from gaining
em ploym ent by alluring m em bers of that class with unearned incom e, instead of
program s to im prove their education and skill sets.
A joke m eans m any things to m any people. Readers bring all sorts of
backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need
clarification for a word so vague. This expression m ay also be too inform al for the
selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a m ore precise an d
appropriate explanation for joke. The writer should ask him self or herself
questions sim ilar to the 5WH questions. (See Chapter 7 "The Writin g Process:
How Do I Begin?" for m ore inform ation on the 5WH questions.) By incorporating
the answers to these questions into a thesis statem ent, the writer m ore accurately
defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.
3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are form s of the verb
to be, a verb that sim ply states that a situation exists.
W o rkin g th e s is : Kan sas City schoolteachers are not paid enough.
Re vis e d th e s is : The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators,
resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly
qualified and dedicated teachers.
The linking verb in this working thesis statem ent is the word are. Linking verbs
often m ake thesis statem ents weak because they do not express action. Rather,
they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers m ight
wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statem ent does not com pel
them to ask m any m ore questions. The writer should ask him self or herself
questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus form ing a
stronger thesis statem ent, one that takes a m ore definitive stance on the issue:
o
o
o
o
Who is not paying the teachers enough?
What is considered “enough”?
What is the problem ?
What are the results
4. Om it any general claim s that are hard to support.
W o rkin g th e s is : Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.
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Re vis e d th e s is : Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual im ages on MTV
are conditioned to believe that a wom an’s worth depen ds on her sen suality, a
feeling that harm s their self-esteem and behavior.
It is true that som e young wom en in today’s society are m ore sexualized than in
the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress
appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in m iddle school and
high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:
o
o
o
o
o
Which teenage girls?
What constitutes “too” sexualized?
Why are they behaving that way?
Where does this behavior show up?
What are the repercussions?
Exe rcis e 3
In the first section of Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?", you
determ ined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then com pleted a
freewriting exercise about an event you recen tly experienced and chose a gen eral topic
to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the
5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three
m ethods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis
statem ent.
Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statem ent. Identify
any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statem ent to reflect the elem ents of a
strong thesis statem en t. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, dem onstrable,
forceful, and confident.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
W ritin g at W o rk
In your career you m ay have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular
problem in your com pany, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would
aim to fix the problem ; using a thesis statem ent would clearly state the boundaries of
the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you m ay find
that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the
techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Proper essays require a thesis statem ent to provide a specific focus and suggest how the
essay will be organized.
A thesis statem ent is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be dem onstrated.
A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be
supported with evidence.
A weak thesis is sim ply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot
be argued.
Depending on your topic, it m ay or m ay not be appropriate to use first person point of
view.
Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs
express action.
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8 .2 W ritin g Bo d y Para grap h s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Select prim ary support related to your thesis.
2. Support your topic sentences.
If your thesis gives the reader a roadm ap to your essay, then body paragraphs should
closely follow that m ap. The reader should be able to predict what follows your
introductory paragraph by sim ply reading the thesis statem ent.
The body paragraphs present the evidence you have gathered to con firm your thesis.
Before you begin to support your thesis in the body, you m ust find inform ation from a
variety of sources that support and give credit to what you are trying to prove.
Se le ct Prim ary Su p p o rt fo r Yo u r Th e s is
Without prim ary support, your argum ent is not likely to be convincing. Prim ary support
can be described as the m ajor points you choose to expand on your thesis. It is the m ost
im portant inform ation you select to argue for your point of view. Each point you choose
will be incorporated in to the topic sentence for each body paragraph you write. Your
prim ary supporting points are further supported by supporting details within the
paragraphs.
Tip
Rem em ber that a worthy argum ent is backed by exam ples. In order to construct a valid
argum ent, good writers conduct lots of background research and take careful notes.
They also talk to people knowledgeable about a topic in order to understand its
im plications before writing about it.
Id e n tify th e Ch ara cte ris tics o f Go o d Prim a ry S u p p o rt
In order to fulfill the requirem ents of good prim ary support, the inform ation you choose
m ust m eet the following standards:
•
•
Be s p e cific. The m ain points you m ake about your thesis and the exam ples you use to
expand on those points need to be specific. Use specific exam ples to provide the evidence
and to build upon your general ideas. These types of exam ples give your reader
som ething narrow to focus on, and if used properly, they leave little doubt about your
claim . General exam ples, while they convey the necessary inform ation, are not nearly as
compelling or useful in writing because they are too obvious and typical.
Be re le van t to th e th e s is . Prim ary support is considered strong when it relates
directly to the thesis. Prim ary support should show, explain, or prove your m ain
argum ent without delving into irrelevant details. When faced with lots of inform ation
that could be used to prove your thesis, you m ay think you need to include it all in your
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•
body paragraphs. But effective writers resist the tem ptation to lose focus. Choose your
exam ples wisely by m aking sure they directly connect to your thesis.
Be de taile d . Rem em ber that your thesis, while specific, should not be very detailed.
The body paragraphs are where you develop the discussion that a thorough essay
requires. Using detailed support shows readers that you have considered all the facts and
chosen only the most precise details to enhance your point of view.
Pre w rite to Id e n tify Prim a ry S u p p o rtin g Po in ts fo r a Th e s is
State m e n t
Recall that when you prewrite you essentially m ake a list of exam ples or reasons why
you support your stance. Stem m ing from each point, you further provide details to
support those reasons. After prewriting, you are then able to look back at the
inform ation and choose the m ost com pelling pieces you will use in your body
paragraphs.
Exe rcis e 1
Choose one of the following working thesis statem ents. On a separate sheet of paper,
write for at least five m inutes using one of the prewriting techniques you learned in
Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?".
1.
2.
3.
4.
Unleashed dogs on city streets are a dangerous nuisance.
Students cheat for m any different reasons.
Drug use am ong teens and young adults is a problem .
The m ost important change that should occur at m y college or university is
____________________________________________.
Se le ct th e Mo s t Effe ctive P rim ary S u p p o rtin g Po in ts fo r a Th e s is
State m e n t
After you have prewritten about your working thesis statem ent, you m ay have generated
a lot of inform ation, which m ay be edited out later. Rem em ber that your prim ary
support m ust be relevant to your thesis. Rem ind yourself of your m ain argum ent, and
delete any ideas that do not directly relate to it. Om itting unrelated ideas ensures that
you will use only the m ost convincing inform ation in your body paragraphs. Choose at
least three of only the m ost com pelling points. These will serve as the topic sentences for
your body paragraphs.
Exe rcis e 2
Refer to the previous exercise and select three of your m ost com pelling reasons to
support the thesis statem ent. Rem em ber that the points you choose m ust be specific an d
relevant to the thesis. The statem ents you choose will be your prim ary support points,
and you will later incorporate them into the topic sentences for the body paragraphs.
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Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
When you support your thesis, you are revealing eviden ce. Eviden ce includes anything
that can help support your stance. The following are the kin ds of evidence you will
encounter as you conduct your research:
1. Facts . Facts are the best kind of evidence to use because they often cannot be disputed.
They can support your stance by providing background inform ation on or a solid
foundation for your point of view. However, som e facts m ay still need explanation. For
exam ple, the sentence “The m ost populated state in the United States is California” is a
pure fact, but it m ay require som e explanation to m ake it relevant to your specific
argum ent.
2. Ju d gm e n ts .J udgm ents are conclusions drawn from the given facts. J udgm ents are
m ore credible than opinions because they are founded upon careful reasoning and
exam ination of a topic.
3. Te s tim o n y.Testim ony consists of direct quotations from either an eyewitness or an
expert witness. An eyewitness is som eone who has direct experience with a subject; he
adds authenticity to an argum ent based on facts. An expert witness is a person who has
extensive experience with a topic. This person studies the facts and provides
com m entary based on either facts or judgm ents, or both. An expert witness adds
authority and credibility to an argum ent.
4. Pe rs o n al o bs e rvatio n . Personal observation is sim ilar to testim ony, but personal
observation consists of your testimony. It reflects what you know to be true because you
have experiences and have form ed either opinions or judgm ents about them . For
instance, if you are one of five children and your thesis states that being part of a large
fam ily is beneficial to a child’s social developm ent, you could use your own experience to
support your thesis.
W ritin g at W o rk
In any job where you devise a plan, you will need to support the steps that you lay out.
This is an area in which you would incorporate prim ary support into your writing.
Choosing only the m ost specific and relevant inform ation to expand upon the steps will
ensure that your plan appears well-thought-out and precise.
Tip
You can consult a vast pool of resources to gather support for your stance. Citing
relevant inform ation from reliable sources ensures that your reader will take you
seriously and consider your assertions. Use any of the following sources for your essay:
newspapers or news organization websites, m agazines, encyclopedias, and scholarly
journals, which are periodicals that address topics in a specialized field.
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Ch o o s e S u p p o rtin g To p ic Se n te n ce s
Each body paragraph contains a topic senten ce that states one aspect of your thesis and
then expands upon it. Like the thesis statem ent, each topic senten ce should be specific
and supported by concrete details, facts, or explanations.
Each body paragraph should com prise the following elem ents.
topic sentence + supporting details (exam ples, reasons, or argum ents)
As you read in Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?", topic sentences
indicate the location and m ain points of the basic argum ents of your essay. These
sentences are vital to writing your body paragraphs because they always refer back to
and support your thesis statem ent. Topic sentences are linked to the ideas you have
introduced in your thesis, thus rem in ding readers what your essay is about. A paragraph
without a clearly identified topic sentence m ay be unclear and scattered, just like an
essay without a thesis statem ent.
Tip
Unless your teacher instructs otherwise, you should include at least three body
paragraphs in your essay. A five-paragraph essay, including the introduction and
conclusion, is com m only the standard for exam s and essay assignm ents.
Consider the following the thesis statem ent:
The following topic sentence is a prim ary support point for the thesis. The topic
sentence states exactly what the controlling idea of the paragraph is. Later, you will see
the writer im m ediately provide support for the sentence.
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Exe rcis e 3
In Note 8 .19 "Exercise 2", you chose three of your m ost convincing points to support the
thesis statem ent you selected from the list. Take each point and incorporate it into a
topic sentence for each body paragraph.
Supporting point 1: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Topic senten ce: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Supporting point 2: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Topic senten ce: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Supporting point 3: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Topic senten ce: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
D ra ft Su p p o rtin g D e tail Se n te n ce s fo r Ea ch Prim a ry S u p p o rt
Se n te n ce
After deciding which prim ary support points you will use as your topic sentences, you
m ust add details to clarify and dem onstrate each of those points. These supporting
details provide exam ples, facts, or evidence that support the topic sentence.
The writer drafts possible supporting detail sentences for each prim ary support sentence
based on the thesis statem ent:
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The following paragraph contains supporting detail senten ces for the prim ary support
sentence (the topic sen tence), which is underlined.
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Exe rcis e 4
Using the three topic sentences you com posed for the thesis statem ent in Note 8.18
"Exercise 1", draft at least three supporting details for each point.
Thesis statem ent: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prim ary supporting point 1:
____________________________________________
Supporting details: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prim ary supporting point 2:
____________________________________________
Supporting details: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Prim ary supporting point 3:
____________________________________________
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Supporting details: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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Tip
You have the option of writing your topic sentences in one of three ways. You can state it
at the beginning of the body paragraph, or at the end of the paragraph, or you do not
have to write it at all. This is called an im plied topic senten ce. An im plied topic sentence
lets readers form the m ain idea for them selves. For beginning writers, it is best to not
use im plied topic sentences because it m akes it harder to focus your writing. Your
instructor m ay also want to clearly identify the sentences that support your thesis. For
m ore inform ation on the placem ent of thesis statem ents and im plied topic statem ents,
see Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?".
Tip
Print out the first draft of your essay and use a highlighter to m ark your topic sentences
in the body paragraphs. Make sure they are clearly stated and accurately present your
paragraphs, as well as accurately reflect your thesis. If your topic sentence contains
inform ation that does not exist in the rest of the paragraph, rewrite it to m ore accurately
m atch the rest of the paragraph.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Your body paragraphs should closely follow the path set forth by your thesis statem ent.
Strong body paragraphs contain evidence that supports your thesis.
Prim ary support comprises the m ost important points you use to support your thesis.
Strong prim ary support is specific, detailed, and relevant to the thesis.
Prewriting helps you determ ine your most com pelling prim ary support.
Evidence includes facts, judgm ents, testim ony, and personal observation.
Reliable sources m ay include newspapers, m agazines, academ ic journals, books,
encyclopedias, and firsthand testimony.
A topic sentence presents one point of your thesis statem ent while the inform ation in the
rest of the paragraph supports that point.
A body paragraph comprises a topic sentence plus supporting details.
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8 .3 Organ izin g Yo u r W ritin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand how and why organizational techniques help writers and readers stay
focused.
2. Assess how and when to use chronological order to organize an essay.
3. Recognize how and when to use order of importance to organize an essay.
4. Determ ine how and when to use spatial order to organize an essay.
The m ethod of organization you choose for your essay is just as im portant as its content.
Without a clear organizational pattern, your reader could becom e confused and lose
interest. The way you structure your essay helps your readers draw connections between
the body an d the thesis, and the structure also keeps you focused as you plan and write
the essay. Choosing your organizational pattern before you outline ensures that each
body paragraph works to support and develop your thesis.
This section covers three ways to organize body paragraphs:
1. Chronological order
2. Order of im portance
3. Spatial order
When you begin to draft your essay, your ideas m ay seem to flow from your m ind in a
seem ingly random m anner. Your readers, who bring to the table different backgrounds,
viewpoints, and ideas, need you to clearly organize these ideas in order to help process
and accept them .
A solid organizational pattern gives your ideas a path that you can follow as you develop
your draft. Knowing how you will organize your paragraphs allows you to better express
and analyze your thoughts. Planning the structure of your essay before you choose
supporting evidence helps you conduct m ore effective and targeted research.
Ch ro n o lo gical Ord e r
In Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?", you learned that chronological
arrangem ent has the following purposes:
•
•
•
•
To explain the history of an event or a topic
To tell a story or relate an experience
To explain how to do or to m ake som ething
To explain the steps in a process
Chronological order is m ostly used in expository writing, which is a form of writing that
narrates, describes, inform s, or explains a process. When using chronological order,
arrange the events in the order that they actually happen ed, or will happen if you are
giving instructions. This m ethod requires you to use words such as first, second, then,
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after that, later, and finally . These transition words guide you and your reader through
the paper as you expand your thesis.
For exam ple, if you are writing an essay about the history of the airline industry, you
would begin with its conception an d detail the essential tim eline events up until present
day. You would follow the chain of events using words such as first, then, next, and so
on.
W ritin g at W o rk
At som e point in your career you m ay have to file a com plaint with your hum an
resources departm ent. Using chronological order is a useful tool in describing the events
that led up to your filing the grievance. You would logically lay out the events in the
order that they occurred using the key transition words. The m ore logical your
com plaint, the m ore likely you will be well received and helped.
Exe rcis e 1
Choose an accom plishm ent you have achieved in your life. The im portant m om ent could
be in sports, schooling, or extracurricular activities. On your own sheet of paper, list the
steps you took to reach your goal. Try to be as specific as possible with the steps you
took. Pay attention to using transition words to focus your writing.
Keep in m in d that chronological order is m ost appropriate for the following purposes:
•
•
•
Writing essays containing heavy research
Writing essays with the aim of listing, explaining, or narrating
Writing essays that analyze literary works such as poems, plays, or books
Tip
When using chronological order, your introduction should indicate the inform ation you
will cover and in what order, an d the introduction should also establish the relevance of
the inform ation. Your body paragraphs should then provide clear divisions or steps in
chronology. You can divide your paragraphs by tim e (such as decades, wars, or other
historical events) or by the sam e structure of the work you are exam ining (such as a lineby-line explication of a poem ).
Exe rcis e 2
On a separate sheet of paper, write a paragraph that describes a process you are fam iliar
with and can do well. Assum e that your reader is unfam iliar with the procedure.
Rem em ber to use the chronological key words, such as first, second, then, and finally .
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Ord e r o f Im p o rta n ce
Recall from Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?" that order of im portance
is best used for the following purposes:
•
•
•
Persuading and convincing
Ranking item s by their im portance, benefit, or significance
Illustrating a situation, problem , or solution
Most essays m ove from the least to the m ost im portant point, and the paragraphs are
arranged in an effort to build the essay’s strength. Som etim es, however, it is necessary
to begin with your m ost im portant supporting point, such as in an essay that contain s a
thesis that is highly debatable. When writing a persuasive essay, it is best to begin with
the m ost im portant point because it im m ediately captivates your readers and com pels
them to continue reading.
For exam ple, if you were supporting your thesis that hom ework is detrim ental to the
education of high school students, you would want to present your m ost convincing
argum ent first, and then m ove on to the less im portant points for your case.
Som e key transitional words you should use with this m ethod of organization are m ost
im portantly , alm ost as im portantly , just as im portantly , and finally .
W ritin g at W o rk
During your career, you m ay be required to work on a team that devises a strategy for a
specific goal of your com pany, such as increasing profits. When planning your strategy
you should organize your steps in order of im portance. This dem onstrates the ability to
prioritize and plan. Using the order of im portance technique also shows that you can
create a resolution with logical steps for accom plishing a com m on goal.
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of paper, write a paragraph that discusses a passion of yours. Your
passion could be m usic, a particular sport, film m aking, and so on. Your paragraph
should be built upon the reasons why you feel so strongly. Briefly discuss your reason s
in the order of least to greatest im portance.
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Sp atial Ord e r
As stated in Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?", spatial order is best
used for the following purposes:
•
•
•
Helping readers visualize som ething as you want them to see it
Evoking a scene using the senses (sight, touch, taste, sm ell, and sound)
Writing a descriptive essay
Spatial order m eans that you explain or describe objects as they are arranged around
you in your space, for exam ple in a bedroom . As the writer, you create a picture for your
reader, and their perspective is the viewpoint from which you describe what is around
you.
The view m ust m ove in an orderly, logical progression, giving the reader clear
direction al signals to follow from place to place. The key to using this m ethod is to
choose a specific starting point and then guide the reader to follow your eye as it m oves
in an orderly trajectory from your starting point.
Pay attention to the following student’s description of her bedroom and how she guides
the reader through the viewing process, foot by foot.
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The paragraph incorporates two objectives you have learned in this chapter: using an
im plied topic senten ce and applying spatial order. Often in a descriptive essay, the two
work together.
The following are possible transition words to include when using spatial order:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
J ust to the left or just to the right
Behind
Between
On the left or on the right
Across from
A little further down
To the south, to the east, and so on
A few yards away
Turning left or turning right
Exe rcis e 4
On a separate sheet of paper, write a paragraph using spatial order that describes your
com m ute to work, school, or another location you visit often.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
The way you organize your body paragraphs ensures you and your readers stay focused
on and draw connections to, your thesis statem ent.
A strong organizational pattern allows you to articulate, analyze, and clarify your
thoughts.
Planning the organizational structure for your essay before you begin to search for
supporting evidence helps you conduct more effective and directed research.
Chronological order is most comm only used in expository writing. It is useful for
explaining the history of your subject, for telling a story, or for explaining a process.
Order of im portance is most appropriate in a persuasion paper as well as for essays in
which you rank things, people, or events by their significance.
Spatial order describes things as they are arranged in space and is best for helping
readers visualize som ething as you want them to see it; it creates a dom inant im pression.
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8 .4 W ritin g In tro d u cto ry an d Co n clu d in g P aragrap h s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Recognize the importance of strong introductory and concluding paragraphs.
2. Learn to engage the reader im m ediately with the introductory paragraph.
3. Practice concluding your essays in a m ore m emorable way.
Picture your introduction as a storefront window: You have a certain am ount of space to
attract your custom ers (readers) to your goods (subject) and bring them inside your
store (discussion). Once you have enticed them with som ething intriguing, you then
point them in a specific direction an d try to m ake the sale (convin ce them to accept your
thesis).
Your introduction is an invitation to your readers to consider what you have to say and
then to follow your train of thought as you expand upon your thesis statem ent.
An introduction serves the following purposes:
1. Establishes your voice and tone, or your attitude, toward the subject
2. Introduces the general topic of the essay
3. States the thesis that will be supported in the body paragraphs
First im pressions are crucial and can leave lasting effects in your reader’s m in d, which is
why the introduction is so im portant to your essay. If your introductory paragraph is
dull or disjointed, your reader probably will n ot have m uch interest in continuing with
the essay.
Attra ctin g In te re s t in Yo u r In tro d u cto ry Pa ra gra p h
Your introduction should begin with an engaging statem ent devised to provoke your
readers’ interest. In the next few senten ces, introduce them to your topic by stating
general facts or ideas about the subject. As you m ove deeper into your introduction, you
gradually narrow the focus, m oving closer to your thesis. Moving sm oothly and logically
from your introductory rem arks to your thesis statem ent can be achieved using a
funnel technique, as illustrated in the diagram in Figure 8.1 "Funnel Technique".
Figure 8 .1 Funnel Technique
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Exe rcis e 1
On a separate sheet of paper, jot down a few general rem arks that you can m ake about
the topic for which you form ed a thesis in Section 8 .1 "Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis
Statem ent".
Im m ediately capturing your readers’ interest increases the chances of having them read
what you are about to discuss. You can garner curiosity for your essay in a num ber of
ways. Try to get your readers person ally involved by doing any of the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Appealing to their emotions
Using logic
Beginning with a provocative question or opinion
Opening with a startling statistic or surprising fact
Raising a question or series of questions
Presenting an explanation or rationalization for your essay
Opening with a relevant quotation or incident
Opening with a striking im age
Including a personal anecdote
Tip
Rem em ber that your diction, or word choice, while always im portant, is m ost crucial in
your introductory paragraph. Boring diction could extinguish any desire a person m ight
have to read through your discussion. Choose words that create im ages or express
action. For m ore inform ation on diction, see Chapter 3 "Working with Words: Which
Word Is Right?".
In Chapter 7 "The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?", you followed Mariah as she
m oved through the writing process. In this chapter, Mariah writes her introduction and
conclusion for the sam e essay. Mariah in corporates som e of the introductory elem ents
into her introductory paragraph, which she previously outlined in Chapter 7 "The
Writing Process: How Do I Begin?". Her thesis statem ent is underlin ed.
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Tip
If you have trouble com ing up with a provocative statem ent for your opening, it is a
good idea to use a relevant, attention-grabbing quote about your topic. Use a search
engine to find statem ents m ade by historical or significant figures about your subject.
W ritin g at W o rk
In your job field, you m ay be required to write a speech for an event, such as an awards
banquet or a dedication cerem ony. The introduction of a speech is sim ilar to an essay
because you have a lim ited am ount of space to attract your audience’s attention. Using
the sam e techniques, such as a provocative quote or an interesting statistic, is an
effective way to engage your listeners. Using the funnel approach also introduces your
audience to your topic and then presents your m ain idea in a logical m anner.
Exe rcis e 2
Reread each sentence in Mariah’s introductory paragraph. Indicate which techniques
she used and com m ent on how each senten ce is designed to attract her readers’ interest.
W ritin g a Co n clu s io n
It is not unusual to want to rush when you approach your conclusion, and even
experienced writers m ay fade. But what good writers rem em ber is that it is vital to put
just as m uch attention into the conclusion as in the rest of the essay. After all, a hasty
ending can underm ine an otherwise strong essay.
A conclusion that does not correspond to the rest of your essay, has loose ends, or is
unorganized can unsettle your readers and raise doubts about the en tire essay.
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However, if you have worked hard to write the introduction and body, your conclusion
can often be the m ost logical part to com pose.
Th e An ato m y o f a Stro n g Co n clu s io n
Keep in m ind that the ideas in your conclusion m ust conform to the rest of your essay.
In order to tie these com ponents together, restate your thesis at the beginning of your
conclusion. This helps you assem ble, in an orderly fashion, all the in form ation you have
explain ed in the body. Repeating your thesis rem inds your readers of the m ajor
argum ents you have been trying to prove and also indicates that your essay is drawing to
a close. A strong conclusion also reviews your m ain points and em phasizes the
im portance of the topic.
The construction of the conclusion is sim ilar to the introduction, in which you m ake
general introductory statem ents and then present your thesis. The difference is that in
the conclusion you first paraphrase, or state in different words, your thesis and then
follow up with general concluding rem arks. These sentences should progressively
broaden the focus of your thesis and m aneuver your readers out of the essay.
Many writers like to end their essays with a final em phatic statem en t. This strong
closing statem ent will cause your readers to continue thinking about the im plications of
your essay; it will m ake your conclusion, and thus your essay, m ore m em orable. Another
powerful technique is to challenge your readers to m ake a change in either their
thoughts or their actions. Challenging your readers to see the subject through new eyes
is a powerful way to ease yourself and your readers out of the essay.
Tip
When closing your essay, do not expressly state that you are drawing to a close. Relying
on statem ents such as in conclusion, it is clear that, as y ou can see, or in sum m ation is
unnecessary an d can be considered trite.
Tip
It is wise to avoid doing any of the following in your conclusion:
•
•
•
•
Introducing new m aterial
Contradicting your thesis
Changing your thesis
Using apologies or disclaim ers
Introducing new m aterial in your conclusion has an unsettling effect on your reader.
When you raise new points, you m ake your reader want m ore inform ation, which you
could not possibly provide in the lim ited space of your final paragraph.
Contradicting or changing your thesis statem ent causes your readers to think that you
do not actually have a conviction about your topic. After all, you have spent several
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paragraphs adhering to a singular point of view. When you change sides or open up your
point of view in the conclusion, your reader becom es less in clined to believe your
original argum ent.
By apologizing for your opinion or stating that you know it is tough to digest, you are in
fact adm itting that even you know what you have discussed is irrelevant or
unconvincing. You do not want your readers to feel this way. Effective writers stand by
their thesis statem ent and do not stray from it.
Exe rcis e 3
On a separate sheet of a paper, restate your thesis from Note 8.52 "Exercise 2" of this
section an d then m ake som e general concluding rem arks. Next, com pose a final
em phatic statem ent. Finally, incorporate what you have written into a strong conclusion
paragraph for your essay.
Collaboration
Please share with a classm ate an d com pare your answers
Mariah incorporates som e of these pointers into her conclusion. She has paraphrased
her thesis statem ent in the first sentence.
Tip
Make sure your essay is balanced by not having an excessively long or short introduction
or conclusion. Check that they m atch each other in length as closely as possible, an d try
to m irror the form ula you used in each. Parallelism strengthens the m essage of your
essay.
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W ritin g at W o rk
On the job you will som etim es give oral presentations based on research you have
conducted. A concluding statem ent to an oral report contains the sam e elem ents as a
written conclusion. You should wrap up your presentation by restating the purpose of
the presentation, reviewing its m ain points, and em phasizing the im portance of the
m aterial you presented. A strong conclusion will leave a lasting im pression on your
audience.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
A strong opening captures your readers’ interest and introduces them to your topic
before you present your thesis statem ent.
An introduction should restate your thesis, review your m ain points, and em phasize the
im portance of the topic.
The funnel technique to writing the introduction begins with generalities and gradually
narrows your focus until you present your thesis.
A good introduction engages people’s em otions or logic, questions or explains the
subject, or provides a striking im age or quotation.
Carefully chosen diction in both the introduction and conclusion prevents any confusing
or boring ideas.
A conclusion that does not connect to the rest of the essay can dim inish the effect of your
paper.
The conclusion should rem ain true to your thesis statem ent. It is best to avoid changing
your tone or your m ain idea and avoid introducing any new m aterial.
Closing with a final em phatic statem ent provides closure for your readers and m akes
your essay m ore m emorable.
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8 .5 W ritin g Es s ays : En d -o f-Ch ap te r Exe rcis e s
Exe rcis e s
1. On a separate sheet of paper, choose one of the exam ples of a proper thesis statem ent
from this chapter (one that interests you) and form three supporting points for that
statem ent. After you have form ed your three points, write a topic sentence for each body
paragraph. Make sure that your topic sentences can be backed up with exam ples and
details.
2. Gro u p activity. Choose one of the topics from Note 8.5 "Exercise 1" in Section 8.1
"Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statem ent" and form a yes-or-no question about that
topic. Then, take a survey of the people in your class to find out how they feel about the
subject. Using the m ajority vote, ask those people to write on slips of paper the reasons
for their opinion. Using the data you collect, form a thesis statem ent based on your
classm ates’ perspectives on the topic and their reasons.
3. On a separate sheet of a paper, write an introduction for an essay based on the thesis
statem ent from the group activity using the techniques for introductory paragraphs that
you learned in this chapter.
4. Start a journal in which you record “spoken” thesis statem ents. Start listening closely to
the opinions expressed by your teachers, classm ates, friends, and fam ily mem bers. Ask
them to provide at least three reasons for their opinion and record them in the journal.
Use this as m aterial for future essays.
5. Open a m agazine and read a lengthy article. See if you can pinpoint the thesis statem ent
as well as the topic sentence for each paragraph and its supporting details.
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Ch apte r 9 Effe ctive Bu s in e s s W ritin g
However great…natural talent m ay be, the art of writing cannot be learned all at once.
J ean-J acques Rousseau
Read, read, read…J ust like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the
m aster.
William Faulkner
You only learn to be a better writer by actually writing.
Doris Lessing
Ge ttin g Sta rte d
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s
1. Take a m om ent to write three words that describe your success in writing.
2. Make a list of words that you associate with writing. Compare your list with those of your
classm ates.
3. Briefly describe your experience writing and include one link to som ething you like to
read in your post.
Som ething we often hear in business is, “Get it in writing.” This advice is m eant to
prevent m isunderstandings based on what one person thought the other person said.
But does written com m unication—getting it in writing—always prevent
m isunderstandings?
According to a W ashington Post news story, a written agreem ent would have been
helpful to an airline custom er nam ed Mike. A victim of an airport m ishap, Mike was
given vouchers for $ 7,50 0 worth of free travel. However, in accordance with the airline’s
standard policy, the vouchers were due to expire in twelve m onths. When Mike saw that
he an d his wife would not be able to do enough flying to use the entire am ount before
the expiration date, he called the airline and asked for an extension. He was told the
airline would extend the deadline, but later discovered they were willing to do so at only
50 percent of the vouchers’ value. An airline spokesm an told the newspaper, “If [Mike]
can produce a letter stating that we would give the full value of the vouchers, he should
produce it.” [1]
Yet, as we will see in this chapter, putting som ething in writing is not always a foolproof
way to ensure accuracy and understanding. A written com m unication is only as accurate
as the writer’s knowledge of the subject and audience, and understanding depen ds on
how well the writer captures the reader’s attention.
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This chapter addresses the written word in a business context. We will also briefly
consider the sym bols, design, font, tim ing, and related nonverbal expressions you m ake
when com posing a page or docum ent. Our discussions will focus on effective
com m unication of your thoughts and ideas through writing that is clear, concise, and
efficient.
[1] Oldenburg, D. (20 0 5, April 12). Old adage holds: Get it in writing. W ashington Post,
p. C10 . Retrieved from http:/ / www.washingtonpost.com / wp-dyn/ articles/ A4530 920 0 5Apr11.htm l
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9 .1 Oral ve rs u s W ritte n Co m m u n ica tio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Explain how written comm unication is sim ilar to oral com m unication, and how it is
different.
The written word often stands in place of the spoken word. People often say “it was good
to hear from you” when they receive an e-m ail or a letter, when in fact they didn’t hear
the m essage, they read it. Still, if they know you well, they m ay m entally “hear” your
voice in your written words. Writing a m essage to friends or colleagues can be as natural
as talking to them . Yet when we are asked to write som ething, we often feel anxious and
view writing as a m ore effortful, exacting process than talking would be.
Oral and written form s of com m unication are sim ilar in m any ways. They both rely on
the basic com m unication process, which consists of eight essential elem ents: source,
receiver, m essage, channel, receiver, feedback, environm ent, context, and interferen ce.
Table 9.1 "Eight Essential Elem ents of Com m unication" sum m arizes these elem ents and
provides exam ples of how each elem ent m ight be applied in oral and written
com m unication.
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Table 9.1 Eight Essential Elem ents of Com m unication
Ele m e n t o f
Co m m u n icatio n
1. Source
2. Receiver
3. Message
4. Channel
5. Feedback
6. Environm ent
7. Context
8. Interference
D e fin itio n
Oral App licatio n
W ritte n App licatio n
A source creates and
com municates a
m essage.
A receiver receives the
m essage from the
source.
The m essage is the
stim ulus or m eaning
produced by the
source for the
receiver.
A channel is the way a
m essage travels
between source and
receiver.
Feedback is the
m essage the receiver
sends in response to
the source.
The environm ent is
the physical
atm osphere where the
com munication
occurs.
The context involves
the psychological
expectations of the
source and receiver.
J ay m akes a
telephone call to
Heather.
Heather listens to
J ay.
J ay writes an e-m ail to
Heather.
J ay asks Heather to
participate in a
conference call at
3:15.
J ay’s e-m ail asks
Heather to participate
in a conference call at
3:15.
The channel is the
telephone.
The channel is e-m ail.
Heather says yes.
Heather replies with an
e-m ail saying yes.
Heather is traveling
by train on a business
trip when she
receives J ay’s phone
call.
Heather expects J ay
to send an e-m ail
with the call-in
inform ation for the
call. J ay expects to do
so, and does.
Heather is at her desk
when she receives J ay’s
e-m ail.
Also known as noise,
interference is
anything that blocks
or distorts the
com munication
process.
Heather calls in at
3:15, but she has
m issed the call
because she forgot
that she is in a
different tim e zone
from J ay.
Heather reads J ay’s em ail.
Heather expects J ay to
dial and connect the
call. J ay expects
Heather to check her em ail for the call-in
inform ation so that she
can join the call.
Heather waits for a
phone call from J ay at
3:15, but he doesn’t call.
As you can see from the applications in this exam ple, at least two different kinds of
interference have the potential to ruin a conference call, and the interference can exist
regardless of whether the com m unication to plan the call is oral or written. Try
switching the “Context” and “Interferen ce” exam ples from Oral to Written, and you will
see that m ism atched expectations and tim e zone confusion can happen by phone or by
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e-m ail. While this exam ple has an unfavorable outcom e, it points out a way in which
oral and written com m unication processes are sim ilar.
Another way in which oral and written form s of com m unication are sim ilar is that they
can be divided into verbal and nonverbal categories. Verbal com m unication involves the
words you say, and nonverbal com m unication involves how you say them —your tone of
voice, your facial expression, body language, and so forth. Written com m unication also
involves verbal and nonverbal dim en sions. The words you choose are the verbal
dim ension. How you portray or display them is the nonverbal dim en sion, which can
include the m edium (e-m ail or a printed docum ent), the typeface or font, or the
appearance of your signature on a letter. In this sen se, oral and written com m unication
are sim ilar in their approach even as they are quite different in their application.
The written word allows for a dynam ic com m unication process between source and
receiver, but is often asynchronous, m eaning that it occurs at different tim es. When we
com m unicate face-to-face, we get im m ediate feedback, but our written words stand in
place of that interpersonal interaction and we lack that im m ediate response. Sin ce we
are often not physically present when som eone reads what we have written, it is
im portant that we anticipate the reader’s needs, interpretation, and likely response to
our written m essages.
Suppose you are asked to write a m essage telling clients about a new product or service
your com pany is about to offer. If you were speaking to one of them in a relaxed setting
over coffee, what would you say? What words would you choose to describe the product
or service, and how it m ay fulfill the client’s needs? As the busin ess com m unicator, you
m ust focus on the words you use and how you use them . Short, sim ple sentences, in
them selves com posed of words, also com m unicate a business style. In your previous
English classes you m ay have learned to write eloquently, but in a business context, your
goal is clear, direct com m unication. One strategy to achieve this goal is to write with the
sam e words and phrases you use when you talk. However, since written com m unication
lacks the im m ediate feedback that is present in an oral conversation, you need to choose
words and phrases even m ore carefully to prom ote accuracy, clarity, and understanding.
Ke y Take aw ay
Written com m unication involves the sam e eight basic elem ents as oral com m unication,
but it is often asynchronous.
Exe rcis e s
1. Review the oral and written applications in Table 9.1 "Eight Essential Elem ents of
Com m unication" and construct a different scenario for each. What could J ay and
Heather do differently to m ake the conference call a success?
2. Visit a business Web site that has an “About Us” page. Read the “About Us” m essage and
write a sum m ary in your own words of what it tells you about the company. Compare
your results with those of your classm ates.
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3. You are your own company. What words describe you? Design a logo, create a nam e, and
present your descriptive words in a way that gets attention. Share and compare with
classm ates.
9 .2 H o w Is W ritin g Le arn e d ?
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Explain how reading, writing, and critical thinking contribute to becom ing a good writer.
You m ay think that som e people are sim ply born better writers than others, but in fact
writing is a reflection of experience and effort. If you think about your successes as a
writer, you m ay com e up with a couple of favorite books, authors, or teachers that
inspired you to express yourself. You m ay also recall a sense of frustration with your
previous writing experiences. It is norm al and natural to experience a sense of
frustration at the perceived inability to express oneself. The em phasis here is on your
perception of yourself as a writer as one aspect of how you com m unicate. Most people
use oral com m unication for m uch of their self-expression, from daily interactions to
form al business m eetings. You have a lifetim e of experience in that arena that you can
leverage to your benefit in your writing. Reading out loud what you have written is a
positive technique we’ll address later in m ore depth.
Martin Luther King J r.’s statem ent, “Violence is the language of the unheard”
em phasizes the im portance of finding one’s voice, of being able to express one’s ideas.
Violence com es in m any form s, but is often associated with frustration born of the lack
of opportunity to com m unicate. You m ay read King’s words and think of the Civil Rights
m ovem ent of the 1960s, or perhaps of the violence of the 9/ 11 terrorist attacks, or of
wars happening in the world today. Public dem onstrations and fighting are expressions
of voice, from individual to collective. Findin g your voice, and learning to listen to
others, is part of learning to com m unicate.
You are your own best ally when it com es to your writing. Keeping a positive fram e of
m ind about your journey as a writer is not a cliché or sim ple, hollow advice. Your
attitude toward writing can and does influence your written products. Even if writing
has been a challenge for you, the fact that you are reading this sentence m eans you
perceive the im portance of this essential skill. This text and our discussions will help you
im prove your writing, and your positive attitude is part of your success strategy.
There is no underestim ating the power of effort when com bined with inspiration and
m otivation. The catch then is to get inspired and m otivated. That’s n ot all it takes, but it
is a great place to start. You were not born with a key pad in front of you, but when you
want to share som ething with friends and text them , the words (or abbreviations) com e
alm ost naturally. So you recognize you have the skills necessary to begin the process of
im proving and harnessing your writing abilities for business success. It will take tim e
and effort, and the proverbial journey starts with a single step, but don’t lose sight of the
fact that your skillful ability to craft words will m ake a significant difference in your
career.
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Re ad in g
Reading is one step m any writers point to as an integral step in learning to write
effectively. You m ay like Harry Potter books or be a Twilight fan, but if you want to write
effectively in business, you need to read busin ess-related docum ents. These can include
letters, reports, business proposals, and business plans. You m ay find these where you
work or in your school’s writing center, busin ess departm ent, or library; there are also
m any Web sites that provide sam ple business docum ents of all kinds. Your reading
should also include publications in the industry where you work or plan to work, such as
Aviation W eek, InfoW orld, Journal of Hospitality , International Real Estate Digest, or
W om en’s W ear Daily , to nam e just a few. You can also gain an advantage by reading
publications in fields other than your chosen one; often reading outside your niche can
enhan ce your versatility and help you learn how other people express sim ilar concepts.
Finally, don’t neglect general m edia like the business section of your local newspaper,
and national publications like the W all Street Journal, Fast Com pany , and the Harvard
Business Review . Reading is one of the m ost useful lifelong habits you can practice to
boost your business com m unication skills.
In the “real world” when you are under a deadline and production is param ount, you’ll
be rushed and m ay lack the tim e to do adequate background reading for a particular
assignm ent. For now, take advantage of your business com m unication course by
exploring com m on business docum ents you m ay be called on to write, contribute to, or
play a role in drafting. Som e docum ents have a degree of form ula to them , and your
fam iliarity with them will reduce your preparation and production tim e while increasing
your effectiveness. As you read sim ilar docum ents, take notes on what you observe. As
you read several sales letters, you m ay observe several patterns that can serve you well
later on when it’s your turn. These patterns are often called conventions, or
conventional language patterns for a specific genre.
W ritin g
Never lose sight of one key m easure of the effectiveness of your writing: the degree to
which it fulfills readers’ expectations. If you are in a law office, you know the purpose of
a court brief is to convince the judge that certain points of law apply to the given case. If
you are at a n ewspaper, you know that an editorial opinion article is supposed to
convince readers of the m erits of a certain viewpoint, whereas a news article is supposed
to report facts without bias. If you are writing ad copy, the goal is to m otivate consum ers
to m ake a purchase decision. In each case, you are writing to a specific purpose, an d a
great place to start when considering what to write is to answer the following question:
what are the readers’ expectations?
When you are a junior m em ber of the team , you m ay be given clerical tasks like filling in
form s, populating a database, or coordinating appointm ents. Or you m ay be assigned to
do research that involves reading, interviewin g, and note taking. Don’t underestim ate
these facets of the writing process; instead, em brace the fact that writing for business
often involves tasks that a novelist m ight not even recognize as “writing.” Your
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contribution is quite im portant and in itself is an on-the-job learning opportunity that
shouldn’t be taken for granted.
When given a writing assignm ent, it is im portant to m ake sure you understand what you
are being asked to do. You m ay read the directions and try to put them in your own
words to m ake sense of the assignm ent. Be careful, however, not to lose sight of what
the directions say versus what you think they say. J ust as an audien ce’s expectations
should be part of your consideration of how, what, and why to write, the instructions
given by your instructor, or in a work situation by your supervisor, establish
expectations. J ust as you m ight ask a m entor m ore about a business writing assignm ent
at work, you need to use the resources available to you to m axim ize your learning
opportunity. Ask the professor to clarify any points you find confusing, or perceive m ore
than one way to interpret, in order to better m eet the expectations.
Before you write an opening paragraph, or even the first sentence, it is im portant to
consider the overall goal of the assignm ent. The word assignm ent can apply equally to a
written product for class or for your em ployer. You m ight m ake a list of the m ain points
and see how those points m ay becom e the topic sentences in a series of paragraphs. You
m ay also give considerable thought to whether your word choice, your tone, your
language, and what you want to say is in line with your understanding of your audience.
We briefly introduced the writing process previously, and will visit it in depth later in
our discussion, but for now writing should about exploring your options. Authors rarely
have a finished product in m ind when they start, but once you know what your goal is
and how to reach it, you writing process will becom e easier and m ore effective.
Co n s tru ctive Criticis m an d Ta rge te d Pra ctice
Mentors can also be im portant in your growth as a writer. Your instructor can serve as a
m entor, offering constructive criticism , insights on what he or she has written, and life
lessons about writing for a purpose. Never underestim ate the m entors that surround
you in the workplace, even if you are currently working in a position unrelated to your
desired career. They can read your rough draft and spot errors, as well as provide useful
insights. Friends and fam ily can also be helpful m entors—if your docum ent’s m eaning is
clear to som eone not working in your business, it will likely also be clear to your
audience.
The key is to be open to criticism , keeping in m ind that no one ever im proved by
repeating bad habits over and over. Only when you know what your errors are—errors of
gram m ar or sentence structure, logic, form at, and so on—can you correct your
docum ent and do a better job next tim e. Writing can be a solitary activity, but m ore
often in business settings it is a collective, group, or team effort. Keep your eyes and ears
open for opportunities to seek outside assistance before you finalize your docum ent.
Learning to be a successful business writer com es with practice. Targeted practice,
which involves identifying your weak areas and specifically working to im prove them , is
especially valuable. In addition to reading, m ake it a habit to write, even if it is not a
specific assignm ent. The m ore you practice writing the kinds of m aterials that are used
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in your line of work, the m ore writing will com e naturally and becom e an easier task—
even on occasions when you need to work under pressure.
Critical Th in kin g
Critical thinking m eans becom ing aware of your thinking process. It’s a hum an trait that
allows us to step outside what we read or write and ask ourselves, “Does this really m ake
sense?” “Are there other, perhaps better, ways to explain this idea?” Som etim es our
thinking is very abstract and becom es clear only through the process of getting thoughts
down in words. As a character in E. M. Forster’s Aspects of the N ovel said, “How can I
tell what I think till I see what I say?” [1] Did you really write what you m eant to, and will
it be easily understood by the reader? Successful writing form s a relationship with the
audience, reaching the reader on a deep level that can be dynam ic an d m otivating. In
contrast, when writing fails to m eet the audience’s expectations, you already know the
consequences: they’ll m ove on.
Learning to write effectively involves reading, writing, critical thinking, and hard work.
You m ay have seen The W izard of Oz and recall the scene when Dorothy discovers what
is behind the curtain. Up until that m om ent, she believed the Wizard’s powers were
needed to change her situation, but now she discovers that the power is her own. Like
Dorothy, you can discover that the power to write successfully rests in your hands.
Excellent business writing can be in spiring, and it is im portant to not lose that sense of
inspiration as we deconstruct the process of writing to its elem ental com ponents.
You m ay be am azed by the perform ance of Tony Hawk on a skateboard ram p, Mia
Ham m on the soccer field, or Michael Phelps in the water. Those who dem onstrate
excellence often m ake it look easy, but nothing could be further from the truth. Effort,
targeted practice, and persisten ce will win the day every tim e. When it com es to writing,
you need to learn to recognize clear and concise writing while looking behind the curtain
at how it is created. This is not to say we are going to lose the m agic associated with the
best writers in the field. Instead, we’ll appreciate what we are readin g as we exam ine
how it was written and how the writer achieved success.
Ke y Take aw ay
Success in writing com es from good habits: reading, writing (especially targeted
practice), and critical thinking.
Exe rcis e s
1. Interview one person whose job involves writing. This can include writing e-m ails,
reports, proposals, invoices, or any other form of business docum ent. Where did this
person learn to write? What would they include as essential steps to learning to write for
success in business? Share your results with a classm ate.
2. For five consecutive days, read the business section of your local newspaper or another
daily paper. Write a one-page sum m ary of the news that m akes the m ost im pression on
you. Review your sum m aries and com pare them with those of your classm ates.
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3. Practice filling out an online form that requires writing sentences, such as a job
application for a company that receives applications online. How does this kind of
writing com pare with the writing you have done for other courses in the past? Discuss
your thoughts with your classm ates.
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9 .3 Go o d W ritin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify six basic qualities that characterize good business writing.
2. Identify and explain the rhetorical elem ents and cognate strategies that contribute to
good writing.
One com m on concern is to sim ply address the question, what is good writing? As we
progress through our study of written business com m unication we’ll try to answer it.
But recognize that while the question m ay be sim ple, the answer is com plex. Edward P.
Bailey [1] offers several key points to rem em ber.
Good business writing
•
•
•
follows the rules,
is easy to read, and
attracts the reader.
Let’s exam ine these qualities in m ore depth.
Bailey’s first point is one that generates a fair am ount of debate. What are the rules? Do
“the rules” depen d on audience expectations or industry standards, what your English
teacher taught you, or are they reflected in the am azing writing of authors you m ight
point to as positive exam ples? The answer is “all of the above,” with a point of
clarification. You m ay find it necessary to balance audience expectations with industry
standards for a docum ent, and m ay need to find a balance or com prom ise. Bailey [2]
points to com m on sense as one basic criterion of good writing, but com m on sense is a
product of experience. When searching for balance, reader understanding is the
deciding factor. The correct use of a sem icolon m ay not be what is n eeded to m ake a
sentence work. Your reading audience should carry extra attention in everything you
write because, without them , you won’t have m any m ore writing assignm ents.
When we say that good writing follows the rules, we don’t m ean that a writer cannot be
creative. J ust as an art student needs to know how to draw a scene in correct perspective
before he can “break the rules” by “bending” perspective, so a writer needs to know the
rules of language. Being well versed in how to use words correctly, form sentences with
proper gram m ar, and build logical paragraphs are skills the writer can use no m atter
what the assignm ent. Even though som e business settings m ay call for conservative
writing, there are other areas where creativity is not only allowed but m andated.
Im agine working for an advertising agen cy or a software developm ent firm ; in such
situations success com es from expressing new, untried ideas. By following the rules of
language and correct writing, a writer can express those creative ideas in a form that
com es through clearly and prom otes understanding.
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Sim ilarly, writing that is easy to read is not the sam e as “dum bed down” or sim plistic
writing. What is easy to read? For a young audience, you m ay need to use
straightforward, sim ple term s, but to ignore their use of the language is to create an
artificial and unnecessary barrier. An exam ple referring to Miley Cyrus m ay work with
one reading audience and fall flat with another. Profession-specific term s can serve a
valuable purpose as we write about precise concepts. Not everyone will understand all
the term s in a profession, but if your audience is largely literate in the term s of the field,
using industry term s will help you establish a relationship with your readers.
The truly excellent writer is one who can explain com plex ideas in a way that the reader
can understand. Som etim es ease of reading can com e from the writer’s choice of a
brilliant illustrative exam ple to get a point across. In other situations, it can be the
writer’s incorporation of definitions into the text so that the m eanin g of unfam iliar
words is clear. It m ay also be a m atter of choosing dynam ic, specific verbs that m ake it
clear what is happening and who is carrying out the action.
Bailey’s third point concerns the interest of the reader. Will they want to read it? This
question should guide m uch of what you write. We increasingly gain inform ation from
our environm ent through visual, auditory, and m ultim edia channels, from YouTube to
stream ing audio, an d to watching the news online. Som e argue that this has led to a
decreased attention span for reading, m eanin g that writers need to appeal to readers
with short, punchy sen tences and catchy phrases. However, there are still plenty of
people who love to im m erse them selves in reading an interesting article, proposal, or
m arketing piece.
Perhaps the m ost universally useful strategy in capturing your reader’s attention is to
state how your writing can m eet the reader’s n eeds. If your docum ent provides
inform ation to answer a question, solve a problem , or explain how to increase profits or
cut costs, you m ay want to state this in the beginning. By opening with a “what’s in it for
m e” strategy, you give your audience a reason to be interested in what you’ve written.
Mo re Qu a litie s o f Go o d W ritin g
To the above list from Bailey, let’s add som e additional qualities that define good
writing. Good writing
•
•
•
m eets the reader’s expectations,
is clear and concise,
is efficient and effective.
To m eet the reader’s expectations, the writer needs to understand who the intended
reader is. In som e business situations, you are writing just to one person: your boss, a
coworker in another departm ent, or an individual custom er or vendor. If you know the
person well, it m ay be as easy for you to write to him or her as it is to write a note to your
parent or room m ate. If you don’t know the person, you can at least m ake som e
reasonable assum ptions about his or her expectations, based on the position he or she
holds and its relation to your job.
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In other situations, you m ay be writing a docum ent to be read by a group or team , an
entire departm ent, or even a large num ber of total strangers. How can you anticipate
their expectations and tailor your writing accordingly? Naturally you want to learn as
m uch as you can about your likely audience. How m uch you can learn and what kinds of
inform ation will vary with the situation. If you are writing Web site content, for
exam ple, you m ay n ever m eet the people who will visit the site, but you can predict why
they would be drawn to the site an d what they would expect to read there. Beyond
learning about your audience, your clear understanding of the writing assignm ent and
its purpose will help you to m eet reader expectations.
Our addition of the fifth point concerning clear and concise writing reflects the
increasing ten dency in business writing to elim inate error. Errors can include those
associated with production, from writing to editing, and reader response. Your twin
goals of clear an d concise writing point to a central goal across com m unication: fidelity.
This con cept involves our goal of accurately com m unicating all the intended
inform ation with a m inim um of signal or m essage breakdown or m isinterpretation.
Designing your docum ents, including writing and presentation, to reduce m essage
breakdown is an im portant part of effective business com m unication.
This leads our discussion to efficiency. There are only twenty-four hours in a day an d we
are in creasingly asked to do m ore with less, with shorter deadlines alm ost guaranteed.
As a writer, how do you m eet ever-in creasing expectations? Each writing assignm ent
requires a clear understanding of the goals an d desired results, and when either of these
two aspects is unclear, the efficiency of your writing can be com prom ised. Rewrites
require tim e that you m ay not have, but will have to m ake if the assignm ent was not
done correctly the first tim e.
As we have discussed previously, m aking a habit of reading sim ilar docum ents prior to
beginning your process of writing can help establish a m ental tem plate of your desired
product. If you can see in your m ind’s eye what you want to write, and have the
perspective of sim ilar docum ents com bin ed with audience’s needs, you can write m ore
efficiently. Your written docum ents are products and will be required on a schedule that
im pacts your coworkers and business. Your ability to produce effective docum ents
efficiently is a skill set that will contribute to your success.
Our sixth point reinforces this idea with an em phasis on effectiveness. What is effective
writing? It is writing that succeeds in accom plishing its purpose. Understanding the
purpose, goals, and desired results of your writing assignm ent will help you achieve this
success. Your em ployer m ay want an introductory sales letter to result in an increase in
sales leads, or potential contacts for follow-up leading to sales. Your audience m ay not
see the docum ent from that perspective, but will instead read with the m in dset of, “How
does this help m e solve X problem ?” If you m eet both goals, your writing is approaching
effectiveness. Here, effectiveness is qualified with the word “approaching” to point out
that writing is both a process and a product, and your writing will continually require
effort and attention to revision and im provem ent.
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Rh e to rical Ele m e n ts an d Co gn ate S trate gie s
Another approach to defining good writing is to look at how it fulfills the goals of two
well-known system s in com m unication. One of these system s com prises the three
classical elem ents of rhetoric, or the art of presenting an argum ent. These elem ents are
logos (logic), ethos (ethics and credibility), and pathos (em otional appeal), first
proposed by the ancient Greek teacher Aristotle. Although rhetoric is often applied to
oral com m unication, especially public speaking, it is also fundam ental to good writing.
A secon d set of goals involves what are called cognate strategies, or ways of prom oting
understanding, [3] developed in recent decades by Charles Kostelnick and David Rogers.
Like rhetorical elem en ts, cognate strategies can be applied to public speaking, but they
are also useful in developing good writing. Table 9.2 "Rhetorical Elem ents and Cognate
Strategies" describes these goals, their purposes, and exam ples of how they m ay be
carried out in business writing.
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Table 9.2 Rhetorical Elem ents and Cognate Strategies
Aris to tle ’s
Rh e to rical
Ele m e n ts
Co gn ate
Strate gie s
Fo cu s
Clarity
Clear
understanding
Conciseness
Key points
Arrangem ent
Order,
hierarchy,
placem ent
Credibility
Character, trust
Expectation
Norm s and
anticipated
outcom es
Reference
Sources and
fram es of
reference
Tone
Expression
Logos
Ethos
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Exam p le in Bu s in e s s W ritin g
An announcem ent will be m ade to the
company later in the week, but I wanted
to tell you personally that as of the first
of next m onth, I will be leaving m y
position to accept a three-year
assignm ent in our Singapore office. As
soon as further details about the
m anagem ent of your account are
available, I will share them with you.
In tomorrow’s conference call Sean
wants to introduce the new team
m em bers, outline the schedule and
budget for the project, and clarify each
person’s responsibilities in m eeting our
goals.
Our departm ent has m atrix structure.
We have three product developm ent
groups, one for each category of
product. We also have a m anufacturing
group, a finance group, and a sales
group; different group mem bers are
assigned to each of the three product
categories. Within the m atrix, our
structure is flat, m eaning that we have
no group leaders. Everyone reports to
Beth, the departm ent m anager.
Having known and worked with J esse
for more than five years, I can highly
recomm end him to take m y place as
your advisor. In addition to having
superb qualifications, J esse is known for
his dedication, honesty, and caring
attitude. He will always go the extra
m ile for his clients.
As is typical in our industry, we ship all
m erchandise FOB our warehouse.
Prices are exclusive of any federal, state,
or local taxes. Paym ent term s are net 30
days from date of invoice.
According to an article in Business
W eek dated October 15, 20 0 9, Doosan is
one of the largest business
conglom erates in South Korea.
I really don’t have words to express how
grateful I am for all the support you’ve
extended to m e and m y fam ily in this
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Pathos
Em phasis
Relevance
Engagem ent
Relationship
hour of need. You guys are the best.
It was unconscionable for a m em ber of
our organization to shout an
interruption while the president was
speaking. What needs to happen now—
and let m e be clear about this—is an
im m ediate apology.
Faithful soldiers pledge never to leave a
fallen com rade on the battlefield.
Ke y Take aw ay
Good writing is characterized by correctness, ease of reading, and attractiveness; it also
m eets reader expectations and is clear, concise, efficient, and effective. Rhetorical
elem ents (logos, ethos, and pathos) an d cognate strategies (clarity, conciseness,
arrangem ent, credibility, expectation, referen ce, tone, em phasis, an d engagem ent) are
goals that are achieved in good business writing.
Exe rcis e s
1. Choose a piece of business writing that attracts your interest. What m ade you want to
read it? Share your thoughts with your classm ates.
2. Choose a piece of business writing and evaluate it according to the qualities of good
writing presented in this section. Do you think the writing qualifies as “good”? Why or
why not? Discuss your opinion with your classm ates.
3. Identify the ethos, pathos, and logos in a docum ent. Share and compare with classm ates.
[1] Bailey, E. (20 0 8). W riting and speaking. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
[2] Bailey, E. (20 0 8). W riting and speaking. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
[3] Kostelnick, C., & Roberts, D. (1998). Designing visual language: Strategies for
professional com m unicators (p. 14). Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
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9 .4 Style in W ritte n Co m m u n icatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Describe and identify three styles of writing.
2. Dem onstrate the appropriate use of colloquial, casual, and form al writing in at least one
docum ent of each style.
One way to exam ine written com m unication is from a structural perspective. Words are
a series of sym bols that com m unicate m eaning, strung together in specific patterns that
are com bined to com m unicate com plex and com pound m eanings. Nouns, verbs,
adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, and articles are the building blocks you will use when
com posing written docum ents. Misspellings of individual words or gram m atical errors
involving m isplacem en t or incorrect word choices in a sentence, can create confusion,
lose m eaning, and have a negative im pact on the reception of your docum ent. Errors
them selves are not inherently bad, but failure to recognize and fix them will reflect on
you, your com pany, and lim it your success. Self-correction is part of the writing process.
Another way to exam in e written com m unication is from a goals perspective, where
specific docum ents address stated (or unstated) goals and have rules, custom s, and
form ats that are anticipated and expected. Violations of these rules, custom s, or
form ats—whether intentional or unintentional—can also have a n egative im pact on the
way your docum ent is received.
Colloquial, casual, and form al writing are three com m on styles that carry their own
particular sets of expectations. Which style you use will depend on your audience, and
often whether your com m unication is going to be read only by those in your com pan y
(internal com m unications) or by those outside the organization, such as vendors,
custom ers or clients (external com m unications). As a gen eral rule, external
com m unications tend to be m ore form al, just as corporate letterhead and business
cards—designed for presentation to the “outside world”—are m ore form al than the em ail and text m essages that are used for everyday writing within the organization.
Style also depends on the purpose of the docum ent and its audience. If your writing
assignm ent is for Web page content, clear and concise use of the written word is
essential. If your writing assignm ent is a feature interest article for an online m agazine,
you m ay have the luxury of additional space and word count com bined with graphics,
pictures, em bedded video or audio clips, and links to related topics. If your writing
assignm ent involves an introductory letter represented on a printed page delivered in an
envelope to a potential custom er, you won’t have the interactivity to enhance your
writing, placing an additional burden on your writing and how you represent it.
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Co llo qu ia l
Colloquial language is an inform al, conversational style of writing. It differs from
standard business English in that it often m akes use of colorful expressions, slang, an d
regional phrases. As a result, it can be difficult to understand for an English learner or a
person from a different region of the country. Som etim es colloquialism takes the form of
a word differen ce; for exam ple, the difference between a “Coke,” a “tonic,” a “pop, an d a
“soda pop” prim arily depends on where you live. It can also take the form of a saying, as
Roy Wilder J r. discusses in his book You All Spoken Here: Southern Talk at Its Dow nHom e Best. [1] Colloquial sayings like “He could m ess up a rainstorm ” or “He couldn’t hit
the ground if he fell” com m unicate the person is in ept in a colorful, but not universal
way. In the Pacific Northwest som eone m ight “m osey,” or walk slowly, over to the “café,”
or bakery, to pick up a “m aple bar”—a confection known as a “Long J ohn doughnut” to
people in other parts of the United States.
Colloquial language can be reflected in textin g:
“ok fwiw i did m y part n put it in where you asked but m y ? is if the group does not
participate do i still get credit for m y part of what i did n also how m uch do we all have
to do i m ean i put in m y opinion of the item s in order do i also have to reply to the other
team m em bers or what? Thxs”
We m ay be able to grasp the m eaning of the m essage, and understand som e of the
abbreviations and codes, but when it com es to business, this style of colloquial text
writing is generally suitable only for one-on-one internal com m unications between
coworkers who know each other well (and those who do not judge each other on spelling
or gram m ar). For external com m unications, and even for group com m unications within
the organization, it is n ot norm ally suitable, as som e of the codes are not standard, and
m ay even be unfam iliar to the larger audience.
Colloquial writing m ay be perm issible, and even preferable, in som e business contexts.
For exam ple, a m arketing letter describing a folksy product such as a wood stove or an
old-fashioned popcorn popper m ight use a colloquial style to create a feeling of relaxing
at hom e with loved ones. Still, it is im portant to consider how colloquial language will
appear to the audience. Will the m eaning of your chosen words be clear to a reader who
is from a different part of the country? Will a folksy tone sound like you are “talking
down” to your audience, assum ing that they are not intelligent or educated enough to
appreciate standard English? A final point to rem em ber is that colloquial style is not an
excuse for using expressions that are sexist, racist, profane, or otherwise offensive.
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Ca s u a l
Casual language involves everyday words and expressions in a fam iliar group context,
such as conversations with fam ily or close friends. The em phasis is on the
com m unication interaction itself, and less about the hierarchy, power, control, or social
rank of the individuals com m unicating. When you are at hom e, at tim es you probably
dress in casual clothing that you wouldn’t wear in public—pajam as or underwear, for
exam ple. Casual com m unication is the written equivalent of this kind of casual attire.
Have you ever had a fam ily m em ber say som ething to you that a stranger or coworker
would never say? Or have you said som ething to a fam ily m em ber that you would never
say in front of your boss? In both cases, casual language is being used. When you write
for business, a casual style is usually out of place. Instead, a respectful, professional tone
represents you well in your absence.
Fo rm al
In business writing, the appropriate style will have a degree of form ality.
Form al language is com m unication that focuses on professional expression with
attention to roles, protocol, and appearance. It is characterized by its vocabulary and
syntax, or the gram m atical arrangem ent of words in a senten ce. That is, writers using a
form al style tend to use a m ore sophisticated vocabulary—a greater variety of words, and
m ore words with m ultiple syllables—not for the purpose of throwing big words around,
but to enhance the form al m ood of the docum ent. They also tend to use m ore com plex
syntax, resulting in sen tences that are longer and contain m ore subordinate clauses.
The appropriate style for a particular business docum ent m ay be very form al, or less so.
If your supervisor writes you an e-m ail and you reply, the exchange m ay be inform al in
that it is fluid and relaxed, without m uch forethought or fanfare, but it will still reflect
the form ality of the business environm ent. Chances are you will be careful to use an
inform ative subject lin e, a salutation (“Hi [supervisor’s nam e]” is typical in e-m ails), a
word of thanks for whatever inform ation or suggestion she provided you, and an
indication that you stand ready to help further if need be. You will probably also check
your gram m ar an d spelling before you click “send.”
A form al docum ent such as a proposal or an annual report will involve a great deal of
planning an d preparation, and its style m ay n ot be fluid or relaxed. Instead, it m ay use
distinct language to em phasize the prestige and professionalism of your com pany. Let’s
say you are going to write a m arketing letter that will be printed on com pany letterhead
and m ailed to a hundred sales prospects. Naturally you want to represent your com pan y
in a positive light. In a letter of this nature you m ight write a senten ce like “The Widget
30 0 is our prem ium offering in the line; we have designed it for ease of m ovem ent and
efficiency of use, with your success forem ost in our m ind.” But in an e-m ail or a tweet,
you m ight use an inform al sentence instead, reading “W30 0 —good stapler.”
Writing for business often involves choosing the appropriate level of form ality for the
com pany and industry, the particular docum ent and situation, an d the audience.
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Ke y Take aw ay
The best style for a docum ent m ay be colloquial, casual, inform al, or form al, depending
on the audience and the situation.
Exe rcis e s
1. Refer back to the e-m ail or text m essage exam ple in this section. Would you send that
m essage to your professor? Why or why not? What norm ative expectations concerning
professor-student communication are there and where did you learn them ? Discuss your
thoughts with your classm ates.
2. Select a business docum ent and describe its style. Is it form al, inform al, or colloquial?
Can you rewrite it in a different style? Share your results with a classm ate.
3. List three words or phrases that you would say to your friends. List three words or
phrases that com municate sim ilar m eanings that you would say to an authority figure.
Share and compare with classm ates.
4. When is it appropriate to write in a casual tone? In a form al tone? Write a one- to twopage essay on this topic and discuss it with a classm ate.
5. How does the intended audience influence the choice of words and use of language in a
docum ent? Think of a specific topic and two specific kinds of audiences. Then write a
short exam ple (250 – 50 0 words) of how this topic m ight be presented to each of the two
audiences.
[1] Wilde, J ., J r. (20 0 3). You all spoken here: Southern talk at its dow n-hom e best.
Athens: University of Georgia Press.
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9 .5 Prin cip le s o f W ritte n Co m m u n icatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand the rules that govern written language.
2. Understand the legal im plications of business writing.
You m ay not recall when or where you learned all about nouns, verbs, adjectives,
adverbs, prepositions, articles, and phrases, but if you understand this senten ce we’ll
take for granted that you have a firm grasp of the basics. But even professional writers
and editors, who have spent a lifetim e n avigating the ins and outs of crafting correct
sentences, have to use reference books to look up answers to questions of gram m ar an d
usage that arise in the course of their work. Let’s exam ine how the sim ple collection of
sym bols called a word can be such a puzzle.
W o rd s Are In h e re n tly Abs tra ct
There is no universally accepted definition for love, there are m any ways to describe
desire, an d there are countless ways to draw patience. Each of these term s is a noun, but
it’s an abstract noun, referring to an intangible concept.
While there are m any ways to define a chair, describe a table, or draw a window, they
each have a few com m on characteristics. A chair m ay be m ade from wood, crafted in a
Mission style, or m ade from plastic resin in one solid piece in nondescript style, but each
has four legs and serves a com m on function. A table and a window also have com m on
characteristics that in them selves form a basis for understanding between source and
receiver. The words “chair,” “table,” and “window” are concrete term s, as they describe
som ething we can see and touch.
Concrete term s are often easier to agree on, understand, or at least define the com m on
characteristics of. Abstract term s can easily becom e even m ore abstract with exten ded
discussions, an d the conversational partners m ay never agree on a com m on definition
or even a range of understanding.
In business com m unication, where the goal is to be clear and concise, lim iting the range
of m isinterpretation, which type of word do you think is preferred? Concrete term s serve
to clarify your writing and m ore accurately com m unicate your intended m eaning to the
receiver. While all words are abstractions, som e are m ore so than others. To prom ote
effective com m unication, choose words that can be easily referenced and understood.
W o rd s Are Go ve rn e d by Ru le s
Perhaps you like to think of yourself as a free spirit, but did you know that all your
com m unication is governed by rules? You weren’t born knowing how to talk, but
learned to form words and sentences as you developed from infancy. As you learned
language, you learned rules. You learned not only what a word m eans in a given context,
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and how to pronounce it; you also learned the social protocol of when to use it and when
not to. When you write, your words represent you in your absen ce. The context m ay
change from reader to reader, and your goal as an effective business com m unicator is to
get your m essage across (and som e feedback) regardless of the situation.
The better you know your audience and context, the better you can anticipate and
incorporate the rules of how, what, and when to use specific words and term s. And here
lies a paradox. You m ay think that, ideally, the best writing is writin g that is universally
appealing and understood. Yet the m ore you design a specific m essage to a specific
audience or context, the less universal the m essage becom es. Actually, this is n either a
good or bad thing in itself. In fact, if you didn’t target your m essages, they wouldn’t be
nearly as effective. By understanding this relationship of a universal or specific appeal to
an audience or context, you can look beyond vocabulary and syntax and focus on the
reader. When considering a com m unication assignm ent like a sales letter, knowing the
intended audience gives you insight to the explicit and im plicit rules.
All words are governed by rules, and the rules are vastly different from one language and
culture to another. A fam ous exam ple is the decision by Chevrolet to give the nam e
“Nova” to one of its cars. In English, nova is recognized as com ing from Latin m eaning
“new”; for those who have studied astronom y, it also refers to a type of star. When the
Chevy Nova was introduced in Latin Am erica, however, it was im m ediately ridiculed as
the “car that doesn’t go.” Why? Because “no va” literally m eans “doesn’t go” in Spanish.
By investigating sam ple nam es in a range of m arkets, you can quickly learn the rules
surrounding words an d their m ultiple m eaning, m uch as you learned about subjects an d
objects, verbs and nouns, adjectives and adverbs when you were learning language.
Long before you knew form al gram m ar term s, you observed how others com m unicate
and learn ed by trial and error. In business, error equals inefficiency, loss of resources,
and is to be avoided. For Chevrolet, a little m arket research in Latin Am erica would have
gone a long way.
W o rd s S h ap e Ou r Re ality
Aristotle is fam ous for m any things, including his questioning of whether the table you
can see, feel, or use is real. [1] This m ay strike you as strange, but im agine that we are
looking at a collection of antique hand tools. What are they? They are m ade of m etal and
wood, but what are they used for? The words we use help us to m ake sense of our reality,
and we often use what we know to figure out what we don’t know. Perhaps we have a
hard tim e describing the color of the tool, or the table, as we walk around it. The light
itself m ay influence our perception of its color. We m ay lack the vocabulary to accurately
describe to the color, and instead say it is “like a” color, but not directly describe the
color itself. [2] The color, or use of the tool, or style of the table are all independent of the
person perceiving them , but also a reflection of the person perceiving the object.
In business com m unication, our goal of clear and concise com m unication involves
anticipation of this inability to label a color or describe the function of an antique tool by
constructing m eaning. Anticipating the language that the reader m ay reasonably be
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expected to know, as well as unfam iliar term s, enables the writer to com m unicate in a
way that describes with com m on reference points while illustrating the new, interesting,
or unusual. Prom oting understanding and lim iting m isinterpretations are key goals of
the effective business com m unicator.
Your letter introducing a new product or service relies, to an extent, on your
preconceived notions of the intended audience and their preconceived notions of your
organization and its products or services. By referencing com m on ground, you form a
connection between the known and the unknown, the fam iliar and the new. People are
m ore likely to be open to a new product or service if they can reasonably relate it to one
they are fam iliar with, or with which they have had good experience in the past. Your
initial m easure of success is effective com m unication, and your long term success m ay
be m easured in the sale or new contract for services.
W o rd s an d Yo u r Le gal Re s p o n s ib ility
Your writing in a business context m eans that you represent yourself and your com pany.
What you write and how you write it can be part of your com pany’s success, but can also
expose it to unintended consequences and legal responsibility. When you write, keep in
m ind that your words will keep on existing long after you have m oved on to other
projects. They can becom e an issue if they exaggerate, state false claim s, or defam e a
person or legal entity such as a com peting com pany. Another issue is plagiarism , using
som eone else’s writing without giving credit to the source. Whether the “cribbed”
m aterial is taken from a printed book, a Web site, or a blog, plagiarism is a violation of
copyright law an d m ay also violate your com pany policies. Industry standards often
have legal aspects that m ust be respected and cannot be ignored. For the writer this can
be a challenge, but it can be a fun challenge with rewarding results.
The rapid pace of technology m eans that the law cannot always stay current with the
realities of business com m unication. Com puters had been in use for m ore than twenty
years before Congress passed the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998, the first
federal legislation to “m ove the nation’s copyright law into the digital age.” [3] Think for
a m om ent about the changes in com puter use that have taken place since 1998, and you
will realize how m any new laws are needed to clarify what is fair and ethical, what
should be prohibited, and who owns the rights to what.
For exam ple, suppose your supervisor asks you to use your Facebook page or Twitter
account to give an occasional “plug” to your com pany’s products. Are you obligated to
com ply? If you later change jobs, who owns your posts or tweets—are they yours, or
does your now-form er em ployer have a right to them ? And what about your network of
“friends”? Can your em ployer use their contact inform ation to sen d m arketing
m essages? These and m any other questions rem ain to be answered as technology,
industry practices, and legislation evolve. [4]
“Our product is better than X com pany’s product. Their product is dangerous an d you
would be a wise custom er to choose us for your product solutions.”
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What’s wrong with these two sentences? They m ay land you and your com pany in court.
You m ade a generalized claim of one product being better than another, an d you stated
it as if it were a fact. The next sentence claim s that your com petitor’s product is
dangerous. Even if this is true, your ability to prove your claim beyond a reasonable
doubt m ay be lim ited. Your claim is stated as fact again, and from the other com pany’s
perspective, your sentences m ay be considered libel or defam ation.
Libel is the written form of defam ation, or a false statem ent that dam ages a reputation.
If a false statem ent of fact that concerns and harm s the person defam ed is published—
including publication in a digital or online environm ent—the author of that statem ent
m ay be sued for libel. If the person defam ed is a public figure, they m ust prove m alice or
the intention to do harm , but if the victim is a private person, libel applies even if the
offense cannot be proven to be m alicious. Under the First Am endm ent you have a right
to express your opinion, but the words you use and how you use them , including the
context, are relevant to their interpretation as opinion versus fact. Always be careful to
qualify what you write and to do no harm .
Ke y Take aw ay
Words are governed by rules and shape our reality. Writers have a legal responsibility to
avoid plagiarism and libel.
Exe rcis e s
1. Define the word “chair.” Describe what a table is. Draw a window. Share, com pare, and
contrast results with classm ates
2. Define love. Describe desire. Draw patience.
3. Identify a target audience and indicate at least three words that you perceive would be
appropriate and effective for that audience. Identify a second audience (distinct from the
first) and indicate three words that you perceive would be appropriate and effective. How
are the audiences and their words sim ilar or different? Compare your results with those
of your classm ates.
4. Create a sales letter for an audience that com es from a culture other than your own.
Identify the culture and articulate how your m essage is tailored to your perception of
your intended audience. Share and compare with classm ates.
5. Do an online search on “online libel cases” and see what you find. Discuss your results
with your classm ates.
6. In other exam ples beyond the gram m ar rules that guide our use of words, consider the
online environm ent. Conduct a search on the word “netiquette” and share your findings.
[1] Aristotle. (1941). De anim a. In R. McKeon (Ed.), The basic w orks of Aristotle (J . A.
Sm ith, Trans.). New York, NY: Random House.
[2] Russell, B. (1962). The problem s of philosophy (28th ed., p. 9). Oxford, UK: Oxford
University Press. (Original work published 1912)
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[3] United States Copyright Office (1998). Executive sum m ary: Digital m illennium
copyright act. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.copyright.gov/ reports/ studies/ dm ca/ dm ca_ executive.htm l
[4] Tahm incioglu, E. (20 0 9, October 11). Your boss wants you on Twitter: Com panies
recognizing value of having workers prom ote products. MSNBC Careers. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.m snbc.m sn.com / id/ 330 90 717/ ns/ business-careers
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9 .6 Ove rco m in g B arrie rs to Effe ctive W ritte n Co m m u n icatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Describe som e com m on barriers to written com munication and how to overcom e them .
In alm ost any career or area of business, written com m unication is a key to success.
Effective writing can prevent wasted tim e, wasted effort, aggravation, and frustration.
The way we com m unicate with others both in side of our business and on the outside
goes a long way toward shaping the organization’s im age. If people feel they are listen ed
to and able to get answers from the firm and its representatives, their opinion will be
favorable. Skillful writing and an understanding of how people respond to words are
central to accom plishing this goal.
How do we display skillful writing and a good understanding of how people respon d to
words? Following are som e suggestions.
D o S w e at th e Sm a ll Stu ff
Let us begin with a college student’s e-m ail to a professor:
“i am confused as to why they are not due intil 11/ 10 i m ean the calender said that they
was due then so thats i did them do i still get credit for them or do i need to due them
over on one tape? please let m e know thanks. also when are you grading the stuff that
we have done?”
What’s wrong with this e-m ail? What do you observe that m ay act as a barrier to
com m unication? Let’s start with the lack of form ality, including the fact that the student
neglected to tell the professor his or her nam e, or which specific class the question
referred to. Then there is the lack of adheren ce to basic vocabulary and syntax rules.
And how about the lower case “i’s” and the m isspellings?
One significant barrier to effective written com m unication is failure to sweat the sm all
stuff. Spelling errors and incorrect gram m ar m ay be considered details, but they reflect
poorly on you and, in a business context, on your com pany. They im ply either that you
are not educated enough to know you’ve m ade m istakes or that you are too careless to
bother correcting them . Making errors is hum an, but m aking a habit of producing errorfilled written docum ents m akes negative consequences far m ore likely to occur. When
you write, you have a responsibility to self-edit and pay attention to detail. In the long
run, correcting your m istakes before others see them will take less tim e and effort than
trying to m ake up for m istakes after the fact.
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Ge t th e Targe t Me an in g
How would you interpret this m essage?
“You m ust not let inventory build up. You must m onitor carrying costs and keep them
under control. Ship any job lots of m ore than 25 to us at once.”
Bypassing involves the m isunderstanding that occurs when the receiver com pletely
m isses the source’s intended m eaning. Words m ean different things to different people
in different contexts. All that difference allows for both source and receiver to
com pletely m iss one another’s intended goal.
Did you understand the m essage in the exam ple? Let’s find out. J erry Sullivan, in his
article By passing in M anagerial Com m unication, [1] relates the story of Mr. Sato, a
m anager from J apan who is new to the United States. The m essage cam e from his
superiors at Kum itom o Am erica, a firm involved with printing m achinery for the
publishing business in J apan. Mr. Sato delegated the instructions (in English as shown
above) to Ms. Brady, who quickly identified there were three lots in excess of twenty-five
and arranged for prom pt shipm ent.
Six weeks later Mr. Sato received a second m essage:
“Why didn’t you do what we told you? Your quarterly inventory report indicates you are
carrying 40 lots which you were supposed to ship to J apan. You m ust not violate our
instructions.”
What’s the problem ? As Sullivan relates, it is an exam ple of one word, or set of words,
having m ore than one m eaning. [2] According to Sullivan, in J apan ese “m ore than x”
includes the reference num ber twenty-five. In other words, Kum itom o wanted all lots
with twenty-five or m ore to be shipped to J apan. Forty lots fit that description. Ms.
Brady interpreted the words as written, but the cultural context had a direct im pact on
the m eaning and outcom e.
You m ight want to defend Ms. Brady and understand the interpretation, but the lesson
rem ains clear. Moreover, cultural expectations differ not only internationally, but also
on m any different dim ensions from regional to interpersonal.
Som eone raised in a rural environm ent in the Pacific Northwest m ay have a very
different interpretation of m eaning from som eone from New York City. Take, for
exam ple, the word “downtown.” To the rural resident, downtown refers to the center or
urban area of any big city. To a New Yorker, however, downtown m ay be a direction, not
a place. One can go uptown or downtown, but when asked, “Where are you from ?” the
answer m ay refer to a borough (“I grew up in Manhattan”) or a neighborhood (“I’m from
the East Village”).
This exam ple involves two individuals who differ by geography, but we can further
subdivide between people raised in the sam e state from two regions, two people of the
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opposite sex, or two people from different generations. The com bin ations are endless, as
are the possibilities for bypassing. While you m ight think you understand, requesting
feedback and asking for confirm ation an d clarification can help ensure that you get the
target m eaning.
Sullivan also notes that in stressful situations we often think in term s of either/ or
relationships, failing to recognize the stress itself. This kind of thinking can contribute to
source/ receiver error. In business, he notes that m anagers often incorrectly assum e
com m unication is easier than it is, and fail to anticipate m iscom m unication. [3]
As writers, we need to keep in m ind that words are sim ply a m eans of com m unication,
and that m eanings are in people, not the words them selves. Knowing which words your
audience understands and anticipating how they will interpret them will help you
prevent bypassing.
Co n s id e r th e N o n ve rbal As p e cts o f Yo u r Me s s age
Let’s return to the exam ple at the beginning of this section of an e-m ail from a student
to an instructor. As we noted, the student neglected to identify him self or herself and tell
the instructor which class the question referred to. Form at is im portant, including
headers, contact inform ation, and an inform ative subject line.
This is just one exam ple of how the nonverbal aspects of a m essage can get in the way of
understanding. Other nonverbal expressions in your writing m ay in clude sym bols,
design, font, and the tim ing of delivering your m essage.
Suppose your supervisor has asked you to write to a group of clients announcing a new
service or product that directly relates to a service or product that these clients have
used over the years. What kind of com m unication will your docum ent be? Will it be sent
as an e-m ail or will it be a form al letter printed on quality paper and sent by postal m ail?
Or will it be a tweet, or a targeted onlin e ad that pops up when these particular clients
access your com pany’s Web site? Each of these choices involves an aspect of written
com m unication that is nonverbal. While the words m ay com m unicate a form al tone, the
font m ay not. The paper chosen to represent your com pany influences the perception of
it. An e-m ail m ay indicate that it is less than form al and be easily deleted.
As another exam ple, suppose you are a sm all business owner and have hired a n ew
worker nam ed Bryan. You need to provide written docum entation of asking Bryan to fill
out a set of form s that are required by law. Should you send an e-m ail to Bryan’s hom e
the night before he starts work, welcom ing him aboard and attaching links to IRS form
W-4 an d Hom eland Security form I-9? Or should you wait until he has been at work for
a couple of hours, then bring him the form s in hard copy along with a printed m em o
stating that he needs to fill them out? There are no right or wrong answers, but you will
use your judgm ent, being aware that these nonverbal expressions are part of the
m essage that gets com m unicated along with your words.
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Re vie w , Re fle ct, a n d Re vis e
Do you review what you write? Do you reflect on whether it serves its purpose? Where
does it m iss the m ark? If you can recognize it, then you have the opportunity to revise.
Writers are often under deadlines, and that can m ean a rush job where not every last
detail is reviewed. This m eans m ore m istakes, and there is always tim e to do it right the
second tim e. Rather than go through the experience of seeing all the m istakes in your
“final” product and rushing off to the next job, you m ay need to focus m ore on the task
at hand and get it done correctly the first tim e. Go over each step in detail as you review.
A m ental review of the task and your perform ance is often called reflection. Reflection is
not procrastination. It involves looking at the available inform ation and, as you review
the key points in your m ind, m aking sure each detail is present and perfect. Reflection
also allows for another opportunity to consider the key elem ents and their relationship
to each other.
When you revise your docum ent, you change one word for another, m ake subtle
changes, and im prove it. Don’t revise sim ply to change the good work you’ve com pleted,
but instead look at it from the perspective of the reader—for exam ple, how could this be
clearer to them ? What would m ake it visually attractive while contin uing to
com m unicate the m essage? If you are lim ited to words only, then does each word serve
the article or letter? No extras, but just about right.
Ke y Take aw ay
To overcom e barriers to com m unication, pay attention to details; strive to understand
the target m eaning; consider your nonverbal expressions; and review, reflect, and revise.
Exe rcis e s
1. Review the exam ple of a student’s e-m ail to a professor in this section, and rewrite it to
com municate the m essage m ore clearly.
2. Write a paragraph of 150– 20 0 words on a subject of your choice. Experim ent with
different form ats and fonts to display it and, if you wish, print it. Com pare your results
with those of your classm ates.
3. How does the purpose of a docum ent define its form at and content? Think of a specific
kind of docum ent with a specific purpose and audience. Then create a format or template
suitable to that docum ent, purpose, and audience. Show your template to the class or
post it on a class bulletin board.
4. Write one m essage of at least three sentences with at least three descriptive term s and
present it to at least three people. Record notes about how they understand the m essage,
and to what degree their interpretations are the sam e of different. Share and compare
with classm ates.
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[1] Sullivan, J ., Kam eda, N., & Nobu, T. (1991). Bypassing in m anagerial
com m unication. Business Horizons, 34(1), 71– 80 .
[2] Sullivan, J ., Kam eda, N., & Nobu, T. (1991). Bypassing in m anagerial
com m unication. Business Horizons, 34(1), 71– 80 .
[3] Sullivan, J ., Kam eda, N., & Nobu, T. (1991). Bypassing in m anagerial
com m unication. Business Horizons, 34(1), 71– 80 .
9 .7 Ad d itio n al Re s o u rce s
Visit AllYouCanRead.com for a list of the top ten business m agazines.
http:/ / www.allyoucanread.com / top-10 -busin ess-m agazines
The Wall Street Executive Library presents a com prehensive m enu of business Web
sites, publications, and other resources. http:/ / www.executivelibrary.com
The Web site 4hb.com (For Hom e Business) provides m any sam ple business
docum ents, as well as other resources for the sm all business owner.
http:/ / www.4hb.com / index.htm l
The Business Owner’s Toolkit provides sam ple docum ents in m ore than a dozen
categories from finance to m arketing to worker safety.
http:/ / www.toolkit.com / tools/ index.aspx
Words m ean different things to different people—especially when translated from one
language to another. Visit this site for a list of car n am es “que no va” (that won’t go) in
foreign languages. http:/ / www.autoblog.com / 20 0 8/ 0 4/ 30 / nissan-360 -the-otti-andthe-m oco
Visit “Questions an d Quandaries,” the W riter’s Digest blog by Brian Klem s, for a
potpourri of inform ation about writing. http:/ / blog.writersdigest.com / qq
Appearance counts. Read an article by com m unications expert Fran Lebo on enhancing
the nonverbal aspects of your docum ent. http:/ / ezinearticles.com / ?The-Second-Law-ofBusiness-Writing---Appearance-Counts&id=30 39288
Visit this site to access the Sullivan [1] article on bypassing in m anagerial
com m unication.
http:/ / findarticles.com / p/ articles/ m i_ m 10 38 / is_ n1_ v34/ ai_ 10 360 317
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[1] Sullivan, J ., Kam eda, N., & Nobu, T. (1991). Bypassing in m anagerial
com m unication. Business Horizons, 34(1), 71– 80 .
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Ch apte r 10 W ritin g Pre p aratio n
Before you write, think.
William Arthur Ward
Ge ttin g Sta rte d
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s
1. Identify a career you are interested in pursuing and do an online search for inform ation
about it, taking note of the num ber of results returned and a couple of the top ten
sources. Compare your results with those of your classm ates.
2. Visit your college or university library. Fam iliarize yourself with the resources available
to business writers and choose one resource that you find especially valuable. Write a
short sum m ary of the resource to share with your classm ates, explaining why you chose
this resource.
3. In a business setting, describe som e circum stances where it would it be appropriate to
send a m essage by instant m essaging, or by e-m ail, or in a printed m emo. Ask som e
colleagues or coworker what they consider the best option and why, and share the results
with the class.
No m atter who you are, you were not born speaking English (or any other language),
and were certainly not born writing. You learned to speak and to write and, like all
hum ans, your skill in speaking and writing can continue to im prove and adapt across
your lifetim e. The awareness of this sim ple fact should encourage you. If your writing
has been well received in the past, congratulations. It m ay be that your skill in
producing college-level essays has served you well. Still, the need for learning to produce
clear, con cise business writing m ay be a new skill for you. Even seasoned professional
business com m unicators find it a challenge to present com plex an d dynam ic
relationships in a way that the audience can grasp at a glance, on a first read, or with
m inim al effort. If your writing has not been as well received in the past as you would
like, this chapter will help you see the process from a perspective where attention to
specific steps can lead to overall success.
In addition to your previous experiences, you will necessarily draw on the writing of
others as you prepare for your writing effort. If you have ever fallen asleep on your
textbook, you know that trying to absorb m any pages of reading in a single session is not
the best strategy for studying. In the sam e way, as you prepare to write a business
docum ent, you know that using the first search result listed on Google or Yahoo! is not
the best strategy for success. You m ay be tem pted to gather only the inform ation that is
m ost readily available, or that which confirm s your viewpoint, but you will sell yourself
short and m ay produce an inferior piece of writing.
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Instead, you need to determ ine the purpose of your writing project; search for
inform ation, facts, and statistics to support your purpose; and rem ain aware of
inform ation that contradicts the m essage you are aim ing to convey. Think of it as an
exercise program . If you only do the easy exercises, and nothing else, you m ay develop a
single m uscle group, but will never gain real strength. What kinds of skills, or strengths,
will you need in order to write well enough to succeed in your career? Solid research
skills com bined with effective preparation for writing involve a range of skill sets that
require tim e and practice. The degree to which you m ake the extra effort will pay
dividends throughout your career.
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10 .1 Th in k, Th e n W rite : W ritin g Pre p aratio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Explain why preparation is im portant in business writing.
2. Think critically and em ploy strategies to overcom e com mon fears of writing.
“How do I prepare m yself for writing?” is a com m on question and one that has no single
correct answer. When do you do your best work? Whatever your work or task m ay be, it
doesn’t have to be writing. Som e people work best in the m orning, others only after their
daily dose of coffee. Still others burn the m idnight oil and work well late into the night
while their colleagues lose their productive edge as the sun sets. “To thine own self be
true,” is a great idea when you have the freedom to choose when you work, but
increasingly our lives are governed by schedules and deadlin es that we do not control.
You m ay have a deadline that requires you to work late at night when you recognize that
you are far m ore productive early in the m orning. If you can, consider one im portant
step to writing success: know when you are m ost productive. If you cannot choose your
tim ing, then dedication and perseverance are required. The job m ust be com pleted and
the show m ust go on. Your effort dem onstrates self-control and forbearance (as opposed
to im patience and procrastination) and im plies professionalism .
To be productive, you have to be alert, ready to work, and can accom plish tasks with
relative ease. You will no doubt recognize that som etim es tasks take a lot longer, the
solution is m uch harder to find, and you m ay find work m ore frustrating at other tim es.
If you have the option, try to adjust your schedule so the writing tasks before you can be
tackled at tim es when you are m ost productive, where you ability to concentrate is best,
and when you are your m ost productive. If you don’t have the option, focus clearly on
the task before you.
Every individual is different, and what works for one person m ay be ineffective for
som eone else. One thing that professional writers agree on, however, is that you don’t
need to be in the “right m ood” to write—and that, in fact, if you wait for the right m ood
to strike, you will probably never get started at all. Ernest Hem ingway, who wrote som e
of the m ost fam ous novels of the twentieth century as well as hundreds of essays,
articles, an d short stories, advised writers to “work every day. No m atter what has
happen ed the day or night before, get up and bite on the nail.” [1]
In order for your work to be productive, you will need to focus your attention on your
writing. The stereotype of the writer tucked away in an attic room or a cabin in the
woods, lost in the im aginary world created by the words as they flow onto the page, is
only a stereotype. Our busy lives involve constant interruption. In a distraction-prone
business environm ent, m uch of your writing will be done while colleagues are talking on
the phone, having face-to-face conversations as they walk by, and possibly stopping at
your desk to say hello or ask a question. Your phone m ay ring or you m ay have incom ing
instant m essages (IMs) that need to be answered quickly. These unavoidable
interruptions m ake it even m ore im portant to develop a habit of concentrating when you
write.
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The m ind has been likened to a brace of wild horses; if you have ever worked with
horses, you know they each have a m ind of their own. Taken in dividually they can be
som ewhat m anageable, but together they can prove to be quite a challenge. Our m inds
can m ultitask and perform several tasks sim ultaneously, but we can also get easily
distracted. We can get sidetracked and lose valuable tim e away from our designated
task. Our ability to concentrate is central to our ability to write effectively, whether we
work alone or as part of a team .
In m any business situations, you m ay not be writing solo but instead collaborating on a
docum ent with various coworkers, vendors, or custom ers. The ability to concentrate is
perhaps even m ore im portant in these group writing situations. [2] In this discussion,
we’ll consider the writing process from a singular perspective, where you are personally
responsible for planning, researching, and producing a product of writing. In other
areas of this text we also consider the collaborative process, its stren gths and
weaknesses, and how to negotiate and navigate the group writing process.
Th in kin g Critically
As you approach your writing project, it is im portant to practice the habit of thinking
critically. Critical thinking can be defined as “self-directed, self-disciplined, selfm onitored, an d self-corrective thinking.” [3] It is the difference between watching
television in a daze versus analyzing a m ovie with attention to its use of lighting, cam era
angles, an d m usic to in fluence the audience. One activity requires very little m ental
effort, while the other requires attention to detail, the ability to com pare and contrast,
and sharp senses to receive all the stim uli.
As a habit of m ind, critical thinking requires established standards and attention to their
use, effective com m unication, problem solvin g, and a willingness to acknowledge and
address our own tendency for confirm ation bias, egocentrism , and sociocentrism . We’ll
use the phrase “habit of m ind” because clear, critical thinking is a habit that requires
effort and persistence. People do not start an exercise program , a food and nutrition
program , or a stop-sm oking program with 10 0 percent success the first tim e. In the
sam e way, it is easy to fall back into lazy m ental short cuts, such as “If it costs a lot, it
m ust be good,” when in fact the statem ent m ay very well be false. You won’t know until
you gather inform ation that supports (or contradicts) the assertion.
As we discuss getting into the right fram e of m ind for writing, keep in m ind that the
sam e recom m endations apply to reading and research. If you only pay attention to
inform ation that reinforces your existing beliefs and ignore or discredit inform ation that
contradicts your beliefs, you are guilty of confirm ation bias. [4] As you read, research,
and prepare for writin g, m ake an effort to gather inform ation from a range of reliable
sources, whether or not this inform ation leads to conclusions you didn’t expect.
Rem em ber that those who read your writing will be aware of, or have access to, this
universe of data as well and will have their own confirm ation bias. Reading an d writing
from an audience-centered view m eans acknowledging your confirm ation bias and
m oving beyond it to consider m ultiple fram es of references, points of view, and
perspectives as you read, research, and write.
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Egocentrism and sociocentrism are related concepts to confirm ation bias. Egocentrism
can be defin ed as the use of self-centered standards to determ ine what to believe and
what to reject. Sim ilarly, sociocentrism involves the use of society-centered standards. [5]
Both ways of thinking create an “us versus them ” relationship that can underm in e your
credibility and alienate readers who don’t share your viewpoint.
This leads to confirm ation bias and groupthin k, resulting in false conclusions with little
or no factual support for a belief. If a person believes the earth is flat and never
questions that belief, it serves as an exam ple of egocentric thinking. The person believes
it is true even though he has n ever questioned why he believes it. If the person decides
to look for inform ation but only finds inform ation that supports his pre-existing belief,
ignoring or discrediting inform ation that contradicts that belief, he is guilty of
confirm ation bias. If he believes the earth is flat because everyone in his group or
com m unity believes it, even though he him self has never questioned or confirm ed the
belief, he is guilty of sociocentrism .
In each case, the false thinking strategy leads to poor conclusions. Watch out for your
tendency to read, write, and believe that which reflects only what you think you know
without solid research and clear, critical thinking.
Ove rco m in g Fe a r o f W ritin g
For m any people, one of the m ost frightening things in life is public speaking. For
sim ilar reasons, whether rational or irrational, writing often generates sim ilar fears.
There is som ething about exposing one’s words to possible criticism that can be truly
terrifying. In this chapter, we are going to break down the writing process into sm all,
m anageable steps that, in turn, will provide you with a platform for success. To take
advantage of these steps, you need to acknowledge any reluctance or fear that m ay be
holding you back, and bring your interests and enthusiasm to this discussion on writing.
Having a positive attitude about writing in general, and your effort, is also a key
ingredient to your success. If you approach a writing assignm ent with trepidation and
fear, you will spend your valuable tim e and attention in ways that do not contribute
positively to your writing. People often fear the writing process because of three m ain
reasons:
1. Negative orientation
2. Risk of failure
3. Fear of the unknown
Let’s take each reason in turn. Negative orientation m eans the writer has a pre-existing
negative association or view of the task or activity. We tend to like people who like us, [6]
tend to pursue activities where we perceive rewards an d appreciation for our efforts, and
are m ore likely to engage in activities where we perceive we are successful. Conversely,
we tend to not like people who we perceive as not like us, tend to ignore or avoid
activities where we perceive we are not appreciated or are not rewarded, and are less
likely to engage in activities where we perceive we are not successful. For som e writers,
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previous experiences have led to a pre-existin g association with writing. That
association m ay be positive if they have been encouraged, affirm ed, or rewarded as they
dem onstrated m easurable gain. That association m ay also be negative if efforts have
been m et with discouraging feedback, a lack of affirm ation, or negative reinforcem ent.
Effective business writing is a highly valued skill, and regardless of the degree to which
writing will be a significant aspect of your designated job duties, your ability to do it well
will be a boost to your career. If you have a n egative orientation toward writing,
adm itting this fact is an im portant first step. Next, we need to actively seek ways to
develop your skills in ways that will dem onstrate m easurable gain and lead to positive
affirm ation. Not everyone develops in the sam e way on the sam e schedule, and
m easurable gain m eans that from one writing assignm ent to the next you can
dem onstrate positive progress. In an academ ic setting, m easurable gain is one of your
clear goals as a writer. In a business or in dustry setting, you m ay lack the tim e to revise
and im prove, m eaning that you will need to get it right the first tim e. Take advantage of
the academ ic setting to set positive, realistic goals to im prove your writing. Surround
yourself with resources, including people who will help you reach your goal. If your
college or university has a writing center, take advantage of it. If it does not, seek out
assistan ce from those whose writing has been effective and well received.
It is a given that you do not want to fail. Risk of failure is a com m on fear across public
speaking and writing situations, producing predictable behavioral patterns we can
recognize, address, an d resolve. In public speaking, our m inds m ay go blank at the start
of a presentation as we confront our fear of failure. In writing, we m ay experience a form
of blankness often referred to as “writer’s block”—the overwhelm ing feeling of not
knowing what to write or where to start—and sit helplessly waiting for our situation to
change.
But we have the power to change our circum stances and to overcom e our risk of failure.
You m ay be fam iliar with the concept of a rough draft, but it m ay com pete in your m ind
with a desire for perfection. Writing is a dynam ic process, a reflection of the
com m unication process itself. It won’t be perfect the first tim e you attem pt it.
Awareness that your rough draft serves a purpose, but doesn’t represent your final
product, should serve in the sam e way a rehearsal for a speech serves a speaker. You get
a secon d (or third) chance to get it right. Use this process to reduce your fear of failure
and let go of your perfectionist tenden cies, if only for a m om ent. Your desire for
perfection will serve you well when it com es to polishing your finished docum ent, but
everything has its tim e and place. Learning where and when to place your effort is part
of writing preparation.
Finally, we often fear the unknown. It is part of being hum an, and is reflected across all
contexts, including public speaking and writing. If you have never given a speech before,
your first tim e on stage can be quite an ordeal. If you have never written a form al
business report, your fear of the unknown is understandable. How can you address this
fear? Make the unknown known. If we take the m ystery out of the process and product,
we can see it for its essential com ponents, its organizational pattern, and start to see
how our product m ay look before we even start to produce it. In m any organizations,
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you can ask your supervisor or coworkers for copies of sim ilar docum ents to the one you
have been assigned, even if the content is quite different. If this is not an option, sim ply
consider the way m ost docum ents in your com pany are written—even som ething as
basic as an interoffice e-m ail will provide som e clues. Your goal is to becom e fam iliar
with the type of docum ent and to exam ine several successful exam ples. On ce you see a
couple of reports, you will have a better feel for what you have to produce and the
unknown will be far less m ysterious.
Ke y Take aw ay
There are several reasons why people fear writing, but there are also several strategies to
reduce or elim inate those fears.
Exe rcis e s
1. How would you describe your orientation to writing? Where does this orientation com e
from? Discuss your thoughts with a classm ate.
2. If you could identify one aspect of your writing you would like to improve, what would it
be and why? Write a one- two-page essay on this subject.
3. What kinds of writing do you like? Dislike? Explain why and provide an exam ple of each.
Share and compare with the class.
4. Who is your favorite author? What do you like about her or his writing? Discuss your
opinion with a classm ate.
[1] Hem ingway, E. (1999). Ernest Hem ingw ay on w riting (L. W. Phillips, Ed.). New
York, NY: Sim on & Schuster Adult Publishing Group.
[2] Nickerson, R. S., Perkins, D. N., & Sm ith, E. E. (1985). The teaching of thinking.
Hillsdale, NJ : Lawrence Erbaum Associates.
[3] Paul, R., & Elder, L. (20 0 7). The m iniature guide to critical thinking: Concepts and
tools. Dillon Beach, CA: The Foundation for Critical Thinking Press.
[4] Gilovich, T. (1993). How w e know w hat isn’t so: The fallibility of hum an reason in
every day life. New York, NY: The Free Press.
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10 .2 A Plan n in g Ch e cklis t fo r Bu s in e s s Me s s age s
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand who, what, where, when, why, and how as features of writing purpose.
2. Describe the planning process and essential elem ents of a business document.
J ohn Thill and Courtland Bovee, [1] two leadin g authors in the field of business
com m unication, have created a checklist for planning business m essages. The following
twelve-item checklist, adapted here, serves as a useful rem inder of the im portance of
preparation in the writing process:
1. Determ ine your general purpose: are you trying to inform , persuade, entertain, facilitate
interaction, or m otivate a reader?
2. Determ ine your specific purpose (the desired outcom e).
3. Make sure your purpose is realistic.
4. Make sure your tim ing is appropriate.
5. Make sure your sources are credible.
6. Make sure the m essage reflects positively on your business.
7. Determ ine audience size.
8. Determ ine audience composition.
9. Determ ine audience knowledge and awareness of topic.
10 . Anticipate probable responses.
11. Select the correct channel.
12. Make sure the inform ation provided is accurate, ethical, and pertinent.
Throughout this chapter we will exam ine these various steps in greater detail.
D e te rm in in g Yo u r Pu rp o s e
Preparation for the writing process involves purpose, research and investigation,
reading and analyzing, and adaptation. In the first section we consider how to determ ine
the purpose of a docum ent, and how that awareness guides the writer to effective
product.
While you m ay be free to create docum ents that represent yourself or your organization,
your em ployer will often have direct in put into their purpose. All acts of com m unication
have general and specific purposes, and the degree to which you can identify these
purposes will influence how effective your writing is. General purposes involve the
overall goal of the com m unication interaction: to inform , persuade, entertain, facilitate
interaction, or m otivate a reader. The gen eral purpose influences the presentation and
expectation for feedback. In an inform ative m essage—the m ost com m on type of writing
in business—you will need to cover several predictable elem ents:
•
•
•
•
Who
What
When
Where
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•
•
How
Why (optional)
Som e elem ents m ay receive m ore attention than others, and they do not necessarily
have to be addressed in the order you see here. Depen ding on the nature of your project,
as a writer you will have a degree of in put over how you organize them .
Note that the last item , W hy , is designated as optional. This is because business writing
som etim es n eeds to report facts and data objectively, without m aking any interpretation
or pointing to any cause-effect relationship. In other business situations, of course,
identifying why som ething happened or why a certain decision is advantageous will be
the essen ce of the com m unication.
In addition to its general purpose (e.g., to inform , persuade, entertain, or m otivate),
every piece of writing also has at least one specific purpose, which is the intended
outcom e; the result that will happen once your written com m unication has been read.
For exam ple, im agine that you are an em ployee in a sm all city’s housing authority and
have been asked to draft a letter to city residents about radon. Radon is a n aturally
occurring radioactive gas that has been classified by the United States Environm ental
Protection Agency as a health hazard. In the course of a routine test, radon was detected
in m inim al levels in an apartm ent building operated by the housing authority. It
presents a relatively low level of risk, but because the incident was reported in the local
newspaper, the m ayor has asked the housing authority director to be proactive in
inform ing all the city residents of the situation.
The general purpose of your letter is to inform, and the specific purpose is to have a
written record of inform ing all city residents about how m uch radon was found, when,
and where; where they can get m ore inform ation on radon; and the date, tim e, and place
of the m eeting. Residents m ay read the inform ation and attend or they m ay not even
read the letter. But once the letter has been written, signed, and distributed, your
general an d specific purposes have been accom plished.
Now im agine that you begin to plan your letter by applying the above list of elem ents.
Recall that the letter inform s residents on three counts: (1) the radon finding, (2) where
to get inform ation about radon, and (3) the upcom ing m eeting. For each of these pieces
of inform ation, the elem ents m ay look like the following:
1. Radon Finding
o
o
o
o
o
Who: The m anager of the apartm ent building (give nam e)
What: Discovered a radon concentration of 4.1 picocuries per liter (pCi/ L) and
reported it to the housing authority director, who inform ed the city health
inspector, environm ental compliance office, and m ayor
When: During the week of December 15
Where: In the basem ent of the apartm ent building located at (give address)
How: In the course of perform ing a routine annual test with a comm ercially
available do-it-yourself radon test kit
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2. Inform ation about radon
o
o
o
o
o
o
Who: According to the city health inspector and environm ental compliance
officer
What: Radon is a naturally occurring radioactive gas that results from the
breakdown of uranium in soil; a radon test level above 4.0 pCi/ L m ay be cause
for concern
When: Radon levels fluctuate from tim e to tim e, so further testing will be done;
in past years, test results were below 4.0 pCi/ L
Where: More inform ation is available from the U.S. Environm ental Protection
Agency or the state radon office
How: By phone, m ail, or on the Internet (provide full contact inform ation for
both sources)
Why: To becom e better inform ed and avoid m isunderstandings about radon, its
health risks, and the m eaning of radon test results
3. City m eeting about radon
o
o
o
o
o
Who: All city residents are welcom e
What: Attend an inform ational m eeting where the m ayor, director of the housing
authority, city health inspector, and city environm ental com pliance officer will
speak and answer questions
When: Monday, J anuary 7, at 7 p.m .
Where: City hall com m unity room
Why: To becom e better inform ed and avoid m isunderstandings about radon, its
health risks, and the m eaning of radon test results
Once you have laid out these elem ents of your inform ative letter, you have an outline
from which it will be easy to write the actual letter.
Your effort serves as a written record of correspondence inform ing them that radon was
detected, which m ay be one of the specific or prim ary purposes. A secondary purpose
m ay be to in crease attendance at the town hall m eeting, but you will need feedback from
that event to determ ine the effectiveness of your effort.
Now im agine that instead of being a housing authority em ployee, you are a city resident
who receives that inform ative letter, and you happen to operate a business as a certified
radon m itigation contractor. You m ay decide to build on this inform ation and develop a
persuasive m essage. You m ay draft a letter to the hom eowners and landlords in the
neighborhood near the building in question. To m ake your m essage persuasive, you m ay
focus on the perception that radiation is inherently dangerous and that no am ount of
radon has been declared safe. You m ay cite external authorities that indicate radon is a
contributing factor to several health ailm ents, and even appeal to em otions with phrases
like “protect your children” and “peace of m in d.” Your letter will probably encourage
readers to check with the state radon office to verify that you are a certified contractor,
describe the services you provide, and indicate that friendly paym en t term s can be
arranged.
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Cre d ibility, Tim in g, an d Au d ie n ce
At this point in the discussion, we need to visit the concept of credibility. Credibility, or
the perception of integrity of the m essage based on an association with the source, is
central to any com m unication act. If the audience perceives the letter as having
presented the inform ation in an im partial and objective way, perceives the health
inspector’s and environm ental com pliance officer’s expertise in the field as relevant to
the topic, and generally regards the housing authority in a positive light, they will be
likely to accept your in form ation as accurate. If, however, the audience does not
associate trust and reliability with your m essage in particular and the city governm ent in
general, you m ay anticipate a lively discussion at the city hall m eetin g.
In the sam e way, if the reading audience perceives the radon m itigation contractor’s
letter as a poor sales pitch without their best interest or safety in m in d, they m ay not
respond positively to its m essage and be unlikely to contact him about any possible
radon problem s in their hom es. If, however, the sales letter squarely addresses the
needs of the audience and effectively persuades them , the contractor m ay look forward
to a busy season.
Returning to the original housing authority scenario, did you consider how your letter
m ight be received, or the fear it m ay have gen erated in the audience? In real life you
don’t get a second chance, but in our academ ic setting, we can go back and take m ore
tim e on our assignm en t, using the twelve-item checklist we presented earlier. Im agine
that you are the m ayor or the housing authority director. Before you assign an em ployee
to send a letter to inform residents about the radon finding, take a m om ent to consider
how realistic your purpose is. As a city official, you m ay want the letter to serve as a
record that residents were inform ed of the radon finding, but will that be the only
outcom e? Will people be even m ore concerned in response to the letter than they were
when the item was published in the newspaper? Would a persuasive letter serve the
city’s purposes better than an inform ative one?
Another consideration is the tim ing. On the one hand, it m ay be im portant to get the
letter sent as quickly as possible, as the newspaper report m ay have already aroused
concerns that the letter will help calm . On the other hand, given that the radon was
discovered in m id-Decem ber, m any people are probably caught up in holiday
celebrations. If the letter is m ailed during the week of Christm as, it m ay not get the
attention it deserves. After J anuary 1, everyone will be paying m ore attention to their
m ail as they anticipate the arrival of tax-related docum ents or even the dreaded credit
card statem ent. If the m ayor has scheduled the city hall m eeting for J anuary 7, people
m ay be unhappy if they only learn about the m eeting at the last m in ute. Also consider
your staff; if m any of them will be gone over the holidays, there m ay not be enough staff
in place to respond to phone calls that will likely com e in response to the letter, even
though the letter advises residents to contact the state radon office and the
Environm ental Protection Agency.
Next, how credible are the sources cited in the letter? If you as a housing authority
em ployee have been asked to draft it, to whom should it go once you have it written?
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The city health inspector and environm ental com pliance officer are m entioned as
sources; will they each read and approve the letter before it is sent? Is there som eon e at
the county, state, or even the federal level who can, or should, check the inform ation
before it is sent?
The next item on the checklist is to m ake sure the m essage reflects positively on your
business. In our hypothetical case, the “business” is city governm ent. The letter should
acknowledge that city officials and em ployees are servants of the taxpayers. “We are
here to serve you” should be expressed, if not in so m any words, in the tone of the letter.
The next three item s on the checklist are associated with the audience profile: audience
size, com position, knowledge, and awaren ess of the topic. Since your letter is being sent
to all city residents, you likely have a database from which you can easily tell how m any
readers constitute your audience. What about audience com position? What else do you
know about the city’s residents? What percentage of households includes children?
What is the education level of m ost of the residents? Are there m any residents whose
first language is not English; if so, should your letter be translated into any other
languages? What is the range of incom e levels in the city? How well inform ed are city
residents about radon? Has radon been an issue in any other buildin gs in the city in
recent years? The answers to these questions will help determ in e how detailed the
inform ation in your letter should be.
Finally, anticipate probable responses. Although the letter is intended to inform , could it
be m isinterpreted as an attem pt to “cover up” an unacceptable condition in city
housing? If the local newspaper were to reprin t the letter, would the m ayor be upset? Is
there som eone in public relations who will be doing m edia interviews at the sam e tim e
the letter goes out? Will the release of inform ation be coordin ated, and if so by whom ?
One additional point that deserves m ention is the notion of decision m akers. Even if
your overall goal is to inform or persuade, the basic m ission is to sim ply com m unicate.
Establishing a connection is a fundam ental aspect of the com m unication audience, an d
if you can correctly target key decision m akers you increase your odds for m aking the
connection with those you intend to inform or persuade. Who will open the m ail, or em ail? Who will act upon it? The better you can answer those questions, the m ore precise
you can be in your writing efforts.
In som e ways this is sim ilar to asking your professor to write a letter of recom m endation
for you, but to address it to “to whom it m ay concern.” If you can provide a prim ary
contact nam e for the letter of recom m endation it will increase its probable im pact on
the evaluation process. If your goal is to get a scholarship or a job offer, you want to take
the necessary steps to increase your positive im pact on the audience.
Co m m u n icatio n Ch an n e ls
Purpose is closely associated with channel. We need to consider the purpose when
choosing a channel. From source to receiver, m essage to channel, feedback to context,
environm ent, and interference, all eight com ponents play a role in the dynam ic process.
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While writing often focuses on an understanding of the receiver (as we’ve discussed) and
defining the purpose of the m essage, the channel—or the “how” in the com m unication
process—deserves special m ention.
So far, we have discussed a sim ple and traditional channel of written com m unication:
the hardcopy letter m ailed in a standard business envelope and sent by postal m ail. But
in today’s business environm ent, this channel is becom ing in creasin gly rare as
electronic channels becom e m ore widely available and accepted.
When is it appropriate to send an instant m essage (IM) or text m essage versus a
conventional e-m ail or fax? What is the difference between a letter and a m em o?
Between a report and a proposal? Writing itself is the com m unication m edium , but each
of these specific channels has its own strengths, weaknesses, and un derstood
expectations that are sum m arized in Table 10 .1 "Written Com m unication Channels".
Table 10 .1 Written Com m unication Channels
Ch an n
el
IM or
Text
Message
Stre n gth s
•
•
•
Ch an n
el
E-m ail
Very fast
Good for
rapid
exchanges
of sm all
am ounts of
inform ation
Inexpensive
W e akn e s s e s
•
•
•
Inform al
Not suitable for large
am ounts of inform ation
Abbreviations lead to
m isunderstandings
W e akn e s s e s
•
•
•
•
W h e n to Ch o o s e
•
•
Stre n gth s
Fast
Good for
relatively
fast
exchanges
of
inform ation
“Subject”
line allows
compilation
Exp e ctatio
ns
Quick
response
•
•
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May hit
“send”
prem aturely
May be
overlooked or
deleted
without being
read
“Reply to all”
error
Exp e ctatio n s
Norm ally a response is
expected within 24
hours, although norm s
vary by situation and
organizational culture
Inform al use
am ong peers
at sim ilar
levels within
an
organization
You need a
fast,
inexpensive
connection
with a
colleague
over a sm all
issue and
lim ited
am ount of
inform ation
W h e n to Ch o o s e
•
•
You need to
com municate
but tim e is
not the m ost
im portant
consideration
You need to
send
attachm ents
(provided
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•
•
Fax
•
•
of m any
m essages
on one
subject or
project
Easy to
distribute
to m ultiple
recipients
Inexpensive
•
Fast
Provides
docum entat
ion
•
•
•
•
Mem o
•
•
Letter
•
•
Official but
less form al
than a letter
Clearly
shows who
sent it,
when, and
to whom
•
Form al
Letterhead
represents
your
company
and adds
credibility
•
•
•
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“Forward”
error
Large
attachm ents
m ay cause the
e-m ail to be
caught in
recipient’s
spam filter
their file size
is not too big)
•
Receiving
issues (e.g.,
the receiving
m achine m ay
be out of
paper or
toner)
Long distance
telephone
charges apply
Transitional
telephonebased
technology
losing
popularity to
online
inform ation
exchange
Norm ally, a long
(m ultiple page) fax is
not expected
Mem os sent
through em ails can get
deleted
without
review
Attachm ents
can get
rem oved by
spam filters
Norm ally used
internally in an
organization to
com municate
directives from
m anagem ent on policy
and procedure, or
docum entation
You need to
com municate a
general m essage
within an
organization
May get filed
or thrown
away unread
Cost and tim e
involved in
printing,
stuffing,
sealing,
affixing
Specific form ats
associated with specific
purposes
You need to inform ,
persuade, deliver bad
news or negative
m essage, and
docum ent the
com munication
•
You want to
send a
docum ent
whose form at
m ust rem ain
intact as
presented,
such as a
m edical
prescription
or a signed
work order
Allows use of
letterhead to
represent
your
company
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postage, and
travel through
the postal
system
Report
Significant tim e for
preparation and
production
Requires extensive
research and
docum entation
Specific form ats for
specific purposes;
generally reports are to
inform
Proposal
Significant tim e for
preparation and
production
Requires extensive
research and
docum entation
Specific form ats for
specific purposes;
generally proposals are
to persuade
You need to
docum ent the
relationship(s)
between large
am ounts of data to
inform an internal or
external audience
You need to
persuade an
audience with
complex argum ents
and data
By choosing the correct channel for a m essage, you can save yourself m any headaches
and in crease the likelihood that your writing will be read, understood, and acted upon in
the m anner you intended.
Our discussion of com m unication channels would not be com plete without m entioning
the issues of privacy and security in electronic com m unications. The Am erican
Managem ent Association [2] estim ates that about two thirds of em ployers m onitor their
em ployees’ electronic com m unications or Internet use. When you call and leave a voice
m essage for a friend or colleague at work, do you know where your m essage is stored?
There was a tim e when the m essage m ay have been stored on an analog cassette in an
answering m achine, or even on a sm all pink handwritten note which a secretary
deposited in your friend’s in-box. Today the “where” is irrelevant, as the in-box is digital
and can be accessed from alm ost anywhere on the planet. That also m eans the m essage
you left, with the representation of your voice, can be forwarded via e-m ail as an
attachm ent to anyone. Any tim e you send an IM, text, or e-m ail or leave a voice
m essage, your m essage is stored on m ore than one server, and it can be intercepted or
forwarded to persons other than the intended receiver. Are you ready for your m essage
to be broadcast to the world? Do your words represent you and your business in a
positive light?
N ew sw eek colum nist J ennifer Ordoñez raises this question when she writes, “For desk
jockeys everywhere, it has becom e as routine as a tour of the office-supply closet: the
consent form attesting that you understand and accept that any e-m ails you write,
Internet sites you visit or business you conduct on your em ployer’s com puter network
are subject to inspection.” [3] As you use MySpace, update your Facebook page, get
LinkedIn, Twitter, text, and IM, you leave an electronic trail of “bread crum bs” that
m erge personal and professional spheres, opening up significant issues of privacy. In
our discussion we address research for specific business docum ent production, and all
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the electronic research conducted is subject to review. While the case law is evolving as
the technology we use to interface expands, it is wise to consider that anything you write
or record can and will be stored for later retrieval by people for whom your m essage was
not initially intended.
In term s of writing preparation, you should review any electronic com m unication before
you send it. Spelling and gram m atical errors will negatively im pact your credibility.
With written docum ents we often take tim e and care to get it right the first tim e, but the
speed of IM, text, or e-m ail often deletes this im portant review cycle of written works.
J ust because the docum ent you prepare in IM is only one sentence long doesn’t m ean it
can’t be m isunderstood or expose you to liability. Take tim e when preparing your
written m essages, regardless of their inten ded presentation, and review your work
before you click “send.”
Ke y Take aw ay
Choose the m ost effective channel for your docum ent and consider the possible
ram ifications of what you have written before you send it.
Exe rcis e s
1. Write a one-page letter to a new custom er introducing a new product or service.
Compare your result to the letters your classm ates wrote. What do the letters have in
com mon? How do they differ from one another?
2. Write a m em o that addresses a new norm or protocol, such as the need to register with a
new company that will be handling all the organization’s business-related travel, with
specific expectations including what inform ation is needed, when, and to whom.
3. Make a list of the written com munication that you read, skim , or produce in a one day.
Please share your results with the class.
[1] Thill, J . V., & Bovee, C. L. (20 0 4). Business com m unication today (8 th ed.). Upper
Saddle River, NJ : Pren tice Hall.
[2] Am erican Managem ent Association. (20 0 7). Electronic m onitoring & surveillance
survey : Over half of all em ploy ers com bined fire w orkers for e-m ail & Internet abuse.
Retrieved from http:/ / press.am anet.org/ press-releases/ 177/ 20 0 7-electronicm onitoring-surveillance-survey
[3] Ordoñez, J . (20 0 8, J uly 14). The technologist: They can’t hide their pry in’ ey es.
Retrieved from http:/ / www.newsweek.com / id/ 143737
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10 .3 Re s e arch an d In ve s tigatio n : Ge ttin g Starte d
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Compare and contrast ways of knowing your reading audience.
2. Conduct research and investigation to gather inform ation.
Clearly, not every piece of business writing requires research or investigation. If you
receive an e-m ail askin g for the correct spellin g of your boss’s nam e and her official title,
you will probably be able to answer without having to look anything up. But what if the
sender of the e-m ail wants to know who in your com pany is the decision m aker for
purchasing a certain supply item ? Unless you work for a very sm all com pany, you will
likely have to look through the organizational chart, and possibly m ake a phone call or
two, before you are able to write an e-m ail answering this question. There—you have
just done the research for a piece of business writing.
Even if you need to write som ething m uch m ore com plex than an e-m ail, such as a
report or proposal, research does not have to be all about long hours at a library.
Instead, start by consulting with business colleagues who have written sim ilar
docum ents an d ask what worked, what didn’t work, what was well received by
m anagem ent and the target audience. Your efforts will need to m eet sim ilar needs. Your
docum ent will not stand alone but will exist within a larger agen da. How does your
proposed docum ent fit within this agenda at your place of work, within the larger
com m unity, or with the target audience? It’s worth noting that the word “investigation”
contains the word “invest.” You will need to invest your tim e and effort to understand
the purpose and goal of your proposed docum ent.
Before you go to the library, look over the inform ation sources you already have in hand.
Do you regularly read a m agazine that relates to the topic? Was there an article in the
newspaper you read that m ight work? Is there a book, CD-ROM or m p3 that has
inform ation you can use? Think of what you want the audience to know and how you
could show it to them . Perhaps a fam ous quote or a line from a poem m ay m ake an
im portant contribution to your docum ent. You m ight even know som eone that has
experience in the area you want to research, som eone who has been involved with
skydiving locally for his or her whole life. Con sider how you are going to tell and show
your audience what your docum ent is all about.
Once you have an assignm ent or topic, know your general and specific purposes, and
have good idea of your reader’s expectations, it’s tim e to gather inform ation. Your best
sources m ay be all around you, within your business or organization . Inform ation m ay
com e from reports from the m arketing departm ent or even from a trusted and wellversed colleague, but you will still need to do your hom ework. After you have written
several sim ilar docum ents for your organization, you m ay have your collection of sam ple
docum ents, but don’t be tem pted to take shortcuts and “repurpose” existing docum ents
to m eet a tight deadlin e. Creating an origin al work specifically tailored to the issue and
audience at hand is the best approach to establish credibility, produce a m ore effective
docum ent, and m ake sure no im portant aspect of your topic is left out.
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N arro w in g Yo u r To p ic
By now you have developed an idea of your topic, but even with a general and specific
purpose, you m ay still have a broad subject that will be a challenge to cover within the
allotted tim e before the deadline. You m ight want to revisit your purpose and ask
yourself, how specific is m y topic?
Im agine that you work for a local skydiving training facility. Your boss has assem bled a
list of people who m ight be candidates for skydiving and asks you to write a letter to
them . Your general purpose is to persuade, and your specific purpose is to in crease the
num ber of students enrolled in classes. You’ve decided that skydivin g is your topic area
and you are going to tell your audience how exhilarating the experience is, discuss the
history and basic equipm ent, cover the basic requirem ents necessary to go on a first
jum p, and provide reference inform ation on where your audience could go to learn m ore
(links and Web sites, for exam ple).
But at this point you m ight find that a one-page letter sim ply is not enough space for the
required content. Rather than expand the letter to two pages and risk losing the reader,
consider your audience and what they m ight want to learn. How can you narrow your
topic to better consider their needs? As you edit your topic, considering what the
essential inform ation is and what can be cut, you’ll com e to focus on the key points
naturally and reduce the pressure on yourself to cover too m uch inform ation in a lim ited
space environm ent.
Perhaps starting with a testim ony about a client’s first jum p, followed by basic
equipm ent and trainin g needed, and finally a reference to your organization m ay help
you define your docum ent. While the history m ay be fascin ating, and m ay serve as a
topic in itself for another day, it m ay add too m uch inform ation in this persuasive letter.
Your specific purpose m ay be to in crease enrollm ent, but your general goal will be to
com m unicate goodwill and establish com m unication. If you can get your audience to
view skydiving in a positive light and consider the experience for them selves, or people
they know, you have accom plished your general purpose.
Fo cu s o n Ke y Po in ts
As a different exam ple, let’s im agine that you are the office m anager for a pet boarding
facility that cares for dogs and cats while their owners are away. The general m anager
has asked you to draft a m em o to rem ind em ployees about safety practices. Your general
purpose is twofold: to inform em ployees about safety concerns and to m otivate them to
engage in safe work practices. Your specific purpose is also twofold: to prevent
em ployees from being injured or infected with diseases on the job, and to reduce the risk
of the anim al patients being injured or becom ing sick while in your care.
You are an office m anager, not a veterinary or m edical professional, and clearly there
are volum es written about anim al injuries and illnesses, not to m ention entire schools
devoted to teaching m edicine to doctors who care for hum an patients. In a short m em o
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you cannot hope to cover all possible exam ples of injury or illness. In stead, focus on the
following behaviors and situations you observe:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Do em ployees wash their hands thoroughly before and after contact with each anim al?
Are hand-washing facilities kept clean and supplied with soap and paper towels?
When cleaning the animals’ cages, do em ployees wear appropriate protection such as
gloves?
What is the procedure for disposing of anim al waste, and do all em ployees know and
follow the procedure?
When an anim al is being transferred from one cage to another, are there enough staff
m em bers present to provide backup assistance in case the anim al becom es unruly?
What should an em ployee do if he or she is bitten or scratched?
What if an anim al exhibits signs of being ill?
Have there been any recent incidents that raised concerns about safety?
Once you have posed and answered questions like these, it should be easier to narrow
down the inform ation so that the result is a reasonably brief, easy to read m em o that
will get em ployees’ attention and persuade them to adopt safe work practices.
Plan n in g Yo u r In ve s tigatio n fo r In fo rm atio n
Now let’s im agine that you work for a sm all accounting firm whose president would like
to start sending a m onthly newsletter to clients and prospective clients. He is aware of
newsletter production service ven dors that provide newsletters to represent a particular
accounting firm . He has asked you to com pile a list of such services, their prices and
practices, so that the firm can choose one to em ploy.
If you are alert, you will begin your planning im m ediately, while your conversation with
the president is still going on, as you will need m ore inform ation before you can gauge
the scope of the assignm ent. Approxim ately how m any newsletter vendors does your
president want to know about—is three or four enough? Would twenty be too m any? Is
there a set budget figure that the newsletter cost m ust not exceed? How soon does your
report need to be done?
Once you have these details, you will be able to plan when and where to gather the
needed inform ation. The sm artest place to begin is right in your office. If the president
has an y exam ples of newsletters he has seen from other businesses, you can exam in e
them and note the contact inform ation of the com panies that produced them . You m ay
also have an opportunity to ask coworkers if they know or even have copies of any such
newsletters.
Assum ing that your president wants to consider m ore than just a couple of vendors, you
will need to expand your search. The next logical place to look is the Internet. In som e
com panies, em ployees have full Internet access from their office com puters; other
com panies provide only a few term inals with Internet access. Som e workplaces allow no
Internet access; if this is the case, you can visit your nearest public library.
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As anyone who has spent an entire even ing aim lessly Web surfing can attest, the
Internet is a great place to find loads and loads of interesting but irrelevant inform ation.
Knowing what questions you are seeking to answer will help you stay focused on your
report’s topic, and knowing the scope of the report will help you to decide how m uch
research tim e to plan in your schedule.
Stayin g Organ ize d
Once you open up a Web browser such as Google and type in a search param eter like
“newsletter production,” you will have a wealth of inform ation to look at. Much of it m ay
be irrelevant, but even the inform ation that fits with your project will be so m uch that
you will be challenged to keep track of it.
Perhaps the m ost vital strategy for staying organized while doing online research is to
open a blank page in your word processor and title it “Sources.” Each tim e you find a
Web page that contain s what you believe m ay be useful and relevant inform ation, copy
the URL and paste it on this Sources page. Under the URL, copy and paste a paragraph
or two as an exam ple of the inform ation you found on this Web page. Err on the side of
listing too m any sources; if in doubt about a source, list it for the tim e being—you can
always discard it later. Having these source URLs an d snippets of inform ation all in one
place will save you a great deal of tim e and m any headaches later on.
As you explore various Web sites of com panies that provide newsletter production
services, you will no doubt encounter new questions that your president did not answer
in the origin al conversation:
•
•
•
Does the newsletter need to be printed on paper and m ailed? Or would an e-m ail
newsletter be acceptable, or even preferable?
Does your firm want the newsletter vendor to write all of the content custom ized to your
firm , provide a m enu of pre-existing articles for your firm to choose from , or let your
firm provide som e—or even all—of the content?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of these various options?
You also realize that in order to get any cost estim ates, even when the above questions
are settled, you will need to know the desired length of the newsletter (in pages or in
words), and how m any recipients are on your firm ’s m ailing list. At this point in your
research and investigation, it m ay m ake sen se to give your president an inform al interim
report, sum m arizing what you have found out and what additional questions need to be
answered.
Having a well-organized list of the inform ation you have assem bled, the new questions
that have arisen, and the sources where you found your inform ation will allow you to
continue researching effectively as soon as you have gotten answers and m ore specific
direction from your president.
Ke y Take aw ay
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To m ake a writing project m anageable, n arrow your topic, focus on key points, plan your
investigation for inform ation, and stay organized as you go along.
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Exe rcis e s
1. Think of a tim e when som eone asked you to gather inform ation to m ake a decision,
whether for work, school, or in your personal life. How specific was the request? What
did you need to know before you could determ ine how m uch and what kind of
inform ation to gather? Discuss your answer with those of your classm ates.
2. Make a list of all the ways you procrastinate, noting how m uch tim e is associated with
each activity or distraction. Share and compare your results with a classm ate.
3. You are the m anager. Write an e-m ail requesting an em ployee to gather specific
inform ation on a topic. Give clear directions and due date(s). Please share your results
with the class.
4. How do you prepare yourself for a writing project? How do others? What strategies work
best for you? Survey ten colleagues or coworkers and compare your results with your
classm ates.
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10 .4 Eth ics , Plagia ris m , an d Re liab le So u rce s
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Understand how to be ethical, avoid plagiarism , and use reputable sources in your
writing.
Unlike writing for personal or academ ic purposes, your business writing will help
determ ine how well your perform ance is evaluated in your job. Whether you are writing
for colleagues within your workplace or outside vendors or custom ers, you will want to
build a solid, well-earned favorable reputation for yourself with your writing. Your goal
is to m aintain and enhance your credibility, and that of your organization, at all tim es.
Make sure as you start your investigation that you always question the credibility of the
inform ation. Sources m ay have no reviews by peers or editor, and the inform ation m ay
be m isleading, biased, or even false. Be a wise inform ation consum er.
Bu s in e s s Eth ics
Many em ployers have a corporate code of ethics; even if your em ployer does not, it goes
without saying that there are laws governing how the com pany can and cannot conduct
business. Som e of these laws apply to business writing. As an exam ple, it would be not
only unethical but also illegal to send out a prom otional letter announcing a special sale
on an item that ordinarily costs $ 50 0 , offering it for $ 10 0 , if in fact you have only one of
this item in inventory. When a retailer does this, the unannounced purpose of the letter
is to draw custom ers into the store, apologize for running out of the sale item , and urge
them to buy a sim ilar item for $ 40 0 . Known as “bait and switch,” this is a form of fraud
and is punishable by law.
Let’s return to our previous newsletter scenario to exam ine som e less clear-cut issues of
business ethics. Suppose that, as you confer with your president and continue your
research on n ewsletter vendors, you rem em ber that you have a cousin who recently
graduated from college with a journalism degree. You decide to talk to her about your
project. In the course of the conversation, you learn that she now has a job working for a
newsletter vendor. She is very excited to hear about your firm ’s plans and asks you to
m ake her com pany “look good” in your report.
You are now in a situation that involves at least two ethical questions:
1. Did you breach your firm’s confidentiality by telling your cousin about the plan to start
sending a m onthly newsletter?
2. Is there any ethical way you can com ply with your cousin’s request to show her com pany
in an especially favorable light?
On the question of confidentiality, the answer m ay depen d on whether you signed a
confidentiality agreem ent as a condition of your em ploym ent at the accounting firm , or
whether your presiden t specifically told you to keep the newsletter plan confidential. If
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neither of these safeguards existed, then your conversation with your cousin would be
an innocent, unintentional and coincidental sharing of inform ation in which she turned
out to have a vested interest.
As for representing her com pany in an especially favorable light—you are ethically
obligated to describe all the candidate vendors according to whatever criteria your
president asked to see. The fact that your cousin works for a certain vendor m ay be an
asset or a liability in your firm ’s view, but it would probably be best to inform them of it
and let them m ake that judgm ent.
As another exam ple of ethics in presenting m aterial, let’s return to the skydiving
scenario we m entioned earlier. Because you are writing a prom otional letter whose goal
is to increase enrollm ent in your skydiving in struction, you m ay be tem pted to avoid
m entioning inform ation that could be perceived as negative. If issues of personal health
condition or accident rates in skydiving appear to discourage rather than encourage
your audience to consider skydiving, you m ay be tem pted to om it them . But in so doing,
you are not presenting an accurate picture an d m ay m islead your audience.
Even if your purpose is to persuade, deleting the opposing points presents a one-sided
presentation. The audience will naturally consider not only what you tell them but also
what you are not telling them , and will raise questions. Instead, consider your
responsibility as a writer to present inform ation you understand to be com plete, honest,
and ethical. Lying by om ission can also expose your organization to liability. Instead of
m aking a claim that skydiving is com pletely safe, you m ay want to state that your school
com plies with the safety guidelines of the United States Parachute Association. You
m ight also state how m any jum ps your school has com pleted in the past year without an
accident.
Givin g Cre d it to Yo u r So u rce s
You have photos of yourself jum ping but they aren’t very exciting. Since you are wearing
goggles to protect your eyes and the im age is at a distance, who can really tell if the
person in the picture is you or not? Why not find a m ore exciting photo on the Internet
and use it as an illustration for your letter? You can download it from a free site and the
“fine print” at the bottom of the Web page states that the photos can be copied for
personal use.
Not so fast—do you realize that a com pany’s prom otional letter does not qualify as
personal use? The fact is that using the photo for a com m ercial purpose without
perm ission from the photographer constitutes an infringem ent of copyright law; your
em ployer could be sued because you decided to liven up your letter by taking a shortcut.
Furtherm ore, falsely representing the m ore exciting photo as being your parachute jum p
will underm ine your com pany’s credibility if your readers happen to find the photo on
the Internet and realize it is not yours.
J ust as you wouldn’t want to include an im age m ore exciting than yours and falsely state
that it is your jum p, you wouldn’t want to take inform ation from sources and fail to give
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them credit. Whether the m aterial is a photograph, text, a chart or graph, or an y other
form of m edia, taking som eone else’s work and representing it as your own is
plagiarism . Plagiarism is com m itted whether you copy m aterial verbatim , paraphrase its
wording, or even m erely take its ideas—if you do any of these things—without giving
credit to the source.
This does not m ean you are forbidden to quote from your sources. It’s entirely likely that
in the course of research you m ay find a perfect turn of phrase or a way of
com m unicating ideas that fits your needs perfectly. Using it in your writing is fine,
provided that you credit the source fully enough that your readers can find it on their
own. If you fail to take careful notes, or the sentence is present in your writing but later
fails to get accurate attribution, it can have a negative im pact on you and your
organization. That is why it is im portant that when you find an elem ent you would like
to incorporate in your docum ent, in the sam e m om ent as you copy and paste or m ake a
note of it in your research file, you need to note the source in a com plete enough form to
find it again.
Giving credit where credit is due will build your credibility and enhance your docum ent.
Moreover, when your writing is authentically yours, your audience will catch your
enthusiasm , and you will feel m ore confident in the m aterial you produce. J ust as you
have a responsibility in business to be honest in selling your product of service and
avoid cheating your custom ers, so you have a responsibility in busin ess writing to be
honest in presenting your idea, and the ideas of others, and to avoid cheating your
readers with plagiarized m aterial.
Ch alle n ge s o f On lin e Re s e arch
Earlier in the chapter we have touched on the fact that the Internet is an am azing source
of inform ation, but for that very reason, it is a difficult place to get inform ation you
actually need. In the early years of the Internet, there was a sharp distinction between a
search engin e and a Web site. There were m any search engines com peting with one
another, and their hom e pages were gen erally fairly blank except for a search field where
the user would enter the desired search keywords or param eters. There are still m any
search sites, but today, a few search engines have com e to dom inate the field, including
Google and Yahoo! Moreover, m ost search engines’ hom e pages offer a wide range of
options beyond an overall Web search; buttons for options such as news, m aps, im ages,
and videos are typical. Another type of search engine perform s a m etasearch, returning
search results from several search engines at once.
When you are looking for a specific kin d of inform ation, these relatively general
searches can still lead you far away from your desired results. In that case, you m ay be
better served by an online dictionary, encyclopedia, business directory, or phone
directory. There are also specialized online databases for alm ost every industry,
profession, an d area of scholarship; som e are available to anyone, others are free but
require opening an account, and som e require paying a subscription fee. For exam ple,
http:/ / www.zillow.com allows for in-depth search and collation of inform ation
concern ing real estate and evaluation, including the integration of public databases that
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feature tax assessm ents and ownership transfers. Table 10 .2 "Som e Exam ples of
Internet Search Sites" provides a few exam ples of different kinds of search sites.
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Table 10 .2 Som e Exam ples of Internet Search Sites
D e s criptio n
General Web searches that
can also be custom ized
according to categories like
news, m aps, im ages, video
•
•
•
•
•
•
U RL
http:/ / altavista.com
http:/ / www.google.com
http:/ / go.com
http:/ / www.itools.com / research-it
http:/ / www.live.com
http:/ / www.yahoo.com
Metasearch engines
•
•
•
•
•
http:/ / www.dogpile.com
http:/ / www.info.com
http:/ / www.m etacrawler.com
http:/ / www.search.com
http:/ / www.webcrawler.com
Dictionaries and
encyclopedias
•
•
•
•
•
•
http:/ / www.britannica.com
http:/ / dictionary.reference.com
http:/ / encarta.msn.com
http:/ / www.encyclopedia.com
http:/ / www.m erriam -webster.com
http:/ / en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/ Main_ Page
Very basic inform ation on a
wide range of topics
•
•
•
http:/ / www.about.com
http:/ / www.answers.com
http:/ / wiki.answers.com
To find people or businesses
in white pages or yellow
pages listings
•
•
•
•
•
http:/ / www.anywho.com
http:/ / www.peoplelookup.com
http:/ / www.switchboard.com
http:/ / www.whitepages.com
http:/ / www.yellowpages.com
Specialized databases—m ay
be free, require registration,
or require a paid subscription
•
•
•
•
•
http:/ / www.apa.org/ psycinfo
http:/ / clinicaltrials.gov/ ct/ screen/ AdvancedSearch
http:/ / m edline.cos.com
http:/ / www.northernlight.com
http:/ / www.zillow.com
At the end of this chapter, under “Additional Resources,” you will find a list of m any
Web sites that m ay be useful for business research.
Evalu atin g Yo u r S o u rce s
One aspect of Internet research that cannot be em phasized enough is the abundance of
online inform ation that is incom plete, outdated, m isleading, or downright false. Anyone
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can put up a Web site; once it is up, the owner m ay or m ay not enter updates or
corrections on a regular basis. Anyone can write a blog on any subject, whether or not
that person actually has any expertise on that subject. Anyone who wishes to contribute
to a Wikipedia article can do so—although the postings are m oderated by editors who
have to register and subm it their qualifications. In the United States, the First
Am endm ent of the Constitution guarantees freedom of expression. This freedom is
restricted by laws prohibiting libel (false accusations against a person) and indecency,
especially child pornography, but those laws are lim ited in scope and som etim es
difficult to enforce. Therefore, it is always im portant to look beyond the surface of a site
to assess who sponsors it, where the inform ation displayed cam e from , and whether the
site owner has a certain agenda.
When you write for business and industry you will want to draw on reputable, reliable
sources—printed as well as electronic ones—because they reflect on the credibility of the
m essage and the m essenger. Analyzing and assessing inform ation is an im portant skill
in the preparation of writing, and here are six m ain points to consider when evaluating a
docum ent, presentation, or sim ilar source of inform ation. [1] In general, docum ents that
represent quality reasoning have the following traits:
•
•
•
•
•
•
A clearly articulated purpose and goal
A question, problem , or issue to address
Inform ation, data, and evidence that is clearly relevant to the stated purpose and goals
Inferences or interpretations that lead to conclusions based on the presented
inform ation, data, and evidence
A fram e of reference or point of view that is clearly articulated
Assum ptions, concepts, and ideas that are clearly articulated
An additional question that is central to your assessm ent of your sources is how credible
the source is. This question is difficult to address even with years of training and
expertise. You m ay have heard of academ ic fields called “disciplines,” but m ay not have
heard of each field’s professors called “disciples.” Believers, keepers of wisdom , and
teachers of tom orrow’s teachers have long played a valuable role establishing,
m aintaining, and perpetuating credibility. Academ ics have long cultivated an
understood acceptance of the role of objective, im partial use of the scientific m ethod to
determ ine validity and reliability. But as research is increasingly dependent on funding,
and funding often brin gs specific points of view and agendas with it, pure research can
be—and has been—com prom ised. You can n o longer sim ply assum e that “studies show”
som ething without awareness of who conducted the study, how was it conducted, and
who funded the effort. This m ay sound like a lot of investigation and present quite a
challenge, but again it is worth the effort.
Inform ation literacy is an essential skill set in the process of writing. As you learn to spot
key signs of inform ation that will not serve to enhance your credibility and contribute to
your docum ent, you can increase your effectiveness as you research and analyze your
resources. For exam ple, if you were researching electronic m onitorin g in the workplace,
you m ight com e upon a site owned by a com pany that sells workplace electronic
m onitoring system s. The site m ight give m any statistics illustrating what percentage of
em ployers use electronic m onitoring, what percentage of em ployees use the Internet for
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nonwork purposes during work hours, what percentage of em ployees use com pany em ail for personal m essages, and so on. But the sources of these percentage figures m ay
not be credited. As an intelligent researcher, you need to ask yourself, did the com pany
that owns the site perform its own research to get these num bers? Most likely it did
not—so why are the sources not cited? Moreover, such a site would be unlikely to
m ention any court rulings about electronic m onitoring being unnecessarily invasive of
em ployees’ privacy. Less biased sources of inform ation would be the Am erican
Managem ent Association, the U.S. Departm ent of Labor, and other not-for-profit
organizations that study workplace issues.
The Internet also encom passes thousands of interactive sites where readers can ask and
answer questions. Som e sites, like Askville by Am azon.com , WikiAnswers, and Yahoo!
Answers, are open to alm ost any topic. Others, like ParentingQuestions and WebMD,
deal with specific topics. Chat room s on bridal Web sites allow couples who are planning
a wedding to share advice and com pare prices for gowns, florists, caterers, an d so on.
Reader com m ent sites like Newsvine facilitate discussions about current events.
Custom er reviews are available for just about everything im aginable, from hotels and
restaurants to personal care products, hom e im provem ent products, and sports
equipm ent. The writers of these custom er reviews, the chat room participants, and the
people who ask and answer questions on m any of these interactive sites are not experts,
nor do they preten d to be. Som e m ay have extrem e opin ions that are not based in
reality. Then, too, it is always possible for a vendor to “plant” favorable custom er
reviews on the Internet to m ake its product look good. Although the “term s of use”
which everyone registering for interactive sites m ust agree to usually forbid the posting
of advertisem ents, profanity, or personal attacks, som e sites do a better job than others
in m onitoring and deleting such m aterial. Nevertheless, if your busin ess writing project
involves finding out how the “average person” feels about an issue in the news, or
whether a new type of hom e exercise device really works as advertised, these com m ent
and custom er review sites can be very useful indeed.
It m ay seem like it’s hard work to assess your sources, to m ake sure your inform ation is
accurate and truthful, but the effort is worth it. Business and industry rely on reputation
and trust (just as we individuals do) in order to m aintain healthy relationships. Your
docum ent, regardless of how sm all it m ay appear in the larger picture, is an im portant
part of that reputation and interaction.
Ke y Take aw ay
Evaluating your sources is a key elem ent of the preparation process in business writing.
To avoid plagiarism , always record your sources so that you can credit them in your
writing.
Exe rcis e s
1. Before the Internet im proved inform ation access, how did people find inform ation? Are
the strategies they used still valid and how m ight they serve you as a business writer?
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2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Interview several people who are old enough to have done research in the “old days” and
report your findings.
Visit the Web site of the United States Copyright Office at http:/ / www.copyright.gov.
Find som ething on the Web site that you did not know before reviewing it and share it
with your classm ates.
On the United States Copyright Office Web site at http:/ / www.copyright.gov view the
m ultim edia presentation for students and teachers, “Taking the Mystery out of
Copyright.” Download the “Copyright Basics” docum ent and discuss it with your class.
Look over the syllabus for your business com munication course and assess the writing
assignm ents you will be completing. Is all the inform ation you are going to need for these
assignm ents available in electronic form ? Why or why not?
Does the fact that Internet search results are often associated with advertising influence
your research and investigation? Why or why not? Discuss with a classm ate.
Find an exam ple of a bogus or less than credible Web site. Indicate why you perceive it to
be untrustworthy, and share it with your classm ates.
Visit the parody Web site The Onion at http:/ / www.theonion.com and find one story that
you think has plausible or believable elem ents. Share your findings with the class.
[1] Adapted from Paul, R., & Elder, L. (20 0 7). The m iniature guide to critical thinking:
Concepts and tools. Dillon Beach, CA: The Foundation for Critical Thinking Press.
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10 .5 Co m p le tin g Yo u r Re s e a rch an d In ve s tigatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Dem onstrate your ability to m anage your tim e and successfully conduct research and
investigation for a writing assignm ent.
Once you becom e im m ersed in your sources, it can be easy to get carried away in the
pursuit of inform ation and lose sight of why you are doing all this research and
investigation. As a responsible writer, you will need to plan not only how you will begin
your inform ation gathering, but also how you will bring it to a conclusion.
Man agin g Yo u r Tim e
Given the lim ited tim e for research involved in m ost business writin g, how can you
m ake the m ost of your inform ation-gathering efforts? Part of learning to write
effectively involves learning to read quickly and efficiently while conducting research.
You are not required to read each word, an d if you did, you would slow yourself down
greatly. At the sam e tim e, if you routinely skip large sections of print and only focus on
the bullet lists, you m ay m iss valuable exam ples that could inspire you in your writing.
How can you tell when to skim and when to pay attention to detail? One strategy is to
look for abstracts (or brief sum m aries of inform ation) before you com m it tim e to
reading an article all the way through. Look for indexes to identify key term s you m ight
want to cover before elim inating them as you narrow your topic.
As we m entioned earlier in this chapter, it is sm art to m ake a list of your sources as you
search; you m ay also want to bookm ark pages with you Web browser. Som etim es a
source that does not look very prom ising m ay turn out to offer key inform ation that will
drive hom e an im portant point in your docum ent. If you have done a good job of
recording your sources, it will be easy to go back to a site or source that at first you
passed over, but now think m ay m ake a relevant contribution.
Co m p ilin g Yo u r In fo rm atio n
Patricia Andrews, J am es Andrews, and Glen William s [1] provide a useful outline of a
process to con sider when com piling your inform ation. Com piling involves com posing
your docum ent out of m aterials from other docum ents or sources. This process has
seven m ajor steps, adapted from the Andrews, Andrews, and William s [2] m odel, which
we will consider: sensitivity, exposure, assim ilation and accom m odation, incubation,
incorporation, production and revision.
Let’s say your letter introducing skydiving to a new audience was relatively successful
and the regional association asks you to write a report on the status of skydiving services
in your region, with the hope that the com prehensive guide m ay serve to direct and
enhan ce class enrollm ent across the region. Your task has considerably expanded and
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involves m ore research, but given the opportunity this assignm ent presents, you are
excited at the challenge. As you begin to research, plan, and design the docum ent, you
will touch on the process of com piling inform ation. If you are aware of each step, your
task can be accom plished effectively an d efficiently.
Sensitivity refers to your capacity to respond to stim ulation, being excited, responsive or
susceptible to new inform ation. This starts with a self-inventory of your current or past
interests and activities. If you are intrigued by a topic or area of interest, your
enthusiasm will carry through to your docum ent and m ake it m ore stim ulating for your
reading audience. You m ay not have considered, or even noticed elem ents or ideas
associated with your topic, but now that you have begun the process of investigation,
you see them everywhere. For exam ple, have you ever heard som eone say a word or
phrase that you never heard before, but now that you are fam iliar with it, you hear it
everywhere? This sam e principle applies to your sensitivity to ideas related to your
topic. You’ll notice inform ation and it will help you as you develop your awareness of
your topic and the m any directions you could take the speech. Cognitive psychologist
use the term prim ing to refer to this excited state of awareness. [3]
Exposure involves your condition of being presented views, ideas, or experiences m ade
known to you through direct experience. If you are going to select a topic on flying but
have never flown before, your level of exposure m ay be low. Your level of awareness m ay
be high, however, in term s of the im portance of security on airplanes after reading
about, watching on television, or hearing on the radio stories after the events of
Septem ber 11, 20 0 1. You m ay decide to expose yourself to m ore inform ation through a
range of sources as you investigate the topic of airline security. And the m ore you
becom e exposed to the issues, processes, and goals of your topic, the m ore likely you are
to see areas of interest, new ideas that m ight fit in your speech, and form patterns of
awareness you did not perceive earlier. We have previously discussed at length the
im portance of selection as a stage in the perceptual process, and selective exposure is
one way you gain awareness. You m ay want to revisit this chapter as you develop your
topic or choose where to look for inform ation or decide what kinds of inform ation to
expose yourself to as you research your topic.
Assim ilation and accom m odation refer to the processes by which you assim ilate (or
integrate) new ideas into your thinking patterns and accom m odate (or adopt, adapt, or
filter out) new sources of inform ation as they relate to your goal. You m ay have had
preconceived notions or ideas about airline security before you began your investigation,
but new inform ation has changed the way you view your topic. You m ight also find
issues (e.g., right to privacy) that m ay be points of conflict with your beliefs as you
review inform ation. This stage is im portant to the overall process of developing your
topic, and it takes tim e. You need tim e to be able to contem plate, review, and reflect on
how the new inform ation fits or fails to connect clearly to your chosen topic.
Incubation is the process by which you cause an idea or ideas to develop in your m ind.
This m ight not happen all at once, and you m ight spend tim e thinkin g about the new
inform ation, directions, or ways you m ight develop or focus your topic. Consider the
m eaning of the word as it relates to chickens and eggs. An egg m ay be produced, but it
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needs tim e and a warm environm ent to develop. You m ight have an idea, but you need
to create an environm ent for it to develop. This m ight involve further investigation an d
exploration, or it m ay involve rem oving yourself from active research to “digest” or
“incubate” what you have already learned. You m ay feel stuck on an idea or perceive an
inability to m ove on in the developm ent of your ideas or topic, and giving it a rest m ay
be the best course of action. You m ay also find that just when you least expect it, an idea,
fully form ed, flashes in your m ind and you think, “Why didn’t I see that before?” Before
the idea escapes you, write it down and m ake sure you can refer to it later.
Incorporation refers to the process by which you bring the inform ation into a whole or
com plete topic. By now you have investigated, chosen som e inform ation over others,
and have started to see how the pieces will com e together. Your perceptions of how the
elem ents com e together will form the basis for your developm ent of the organization of
your docum ent. It will contribute to the logos, or logic, of your thought and its
representation in your docum ent, and help you produce a coherent, organized m essage
that your audience can follow clearly.
Production involves the act of creating your docum ent from the elem ents you have
gathered. You m ay start to consider what com es first, what goes last, and how you will
link your ideas and exam ples together. You m ay find that you need additional
inform ation and n eed to go back to your notes that you have taken to find the source
quickly and easily. You m ay also start to com m unicate with friends, sharing som e of the
elem ents or even practicing the first drafts of your docum ent, learning where the
connections are clear and where they need work.
Revision is the process by which you look over again in order to correct or im prove your
m essage. You will notice elem ents that need further investigation, developm ent, or
additional exam ples and visual aids as you produce your docum ent. This is an im portant
step to the overall production of your m essage, m uch like revising an essay for an
English course. The first tim e you said, thought, or wrote som ething it m ay have m ade
sense to you, but upon reflection and after trying an idea out, you need it to be revised in
order to work effectively as part of your docum ent. You m ay revisit the place in which
you started (and start all speeches) by reconsidering the rhetorical situation and see if
what you have produces is in lin e with the expectations of the audien ce. Your awareness
of the content, audience, and purpose of the rhetorical situation will guide you through
the revision process and contribute to the production of a m ore effective docum ent.
Once you have gathered what you think is enough m aterial—or, perhaps, once your eyes
begin to glaze over—take a step back and return to the general and specific purpose of
the docum ent you set out to write. Look again at the basic elem ents (i.e., who, what,
when, etc.) and fill in the “answers” based on what you have found. It is not unusual at
this stage to have som e “holes” in the inform ation that require m ore research to fill. You
m ay also realize that your research findings have disproved part or even all of your
original agenda, m akin g it necessary to change your m essage significantly.
Leave enough tim e before your deadline so that you can sketch out a detailed outline
and rough draft of your docum ent and leave it alone for at least a day. When you look at
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it again, it will probably be clear which additional details n eed m ore support, and you
can perform targeted research to fill in those gaps.
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Ke y Take aw ay
Be m in dful of your result and your tim e fram e as you conduct your research an d
investigation. Allow enough tim e to let the writing rest before you return to it and m ake
revisions.
Exe rcis e s
1. Choose a topic related to a career that interests you and think about how you would
research that topic on the Internet. Set a tim er for fifteen m inutes. Ready, set, go! At the
end of fifteen m inutes, review the sources you have recorded in your list and think about
the inform ation you have found. How well did you use your lim ited tim e? Could you do
better next tim e? Try it again.
2. Complete an Internet search of your nam e and report your findings to the class.
3. Complete an Internet search of your favorite product or service and report your findings
to the class.
4. You’ve been assigned to a m arketing team tasked to engage an audience just like you.
Make a list of what services or products your target audience would find attractive. Pick
one and develop a slogan that is sure to get attention. Share your results with the class.
[1] Andrews, P. H., Andrews, J ., & William s, G. (1999). Public speaking: Connecting y ou
and y our audience. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Com pany.
[2] Andrews, P. H., Andrews, J ., & William s, G. (1999). Public speaking: Connecting
y ou and y our audience. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Com pany.
[3] Yaniv, I., & Meyer, D. (1987). Activation and m etacognition of inaccessible stored
inform ation: potential bases for in cubation effects in problem loving. Journal of
Experim ental Psy chology : Learning, Mem ory , and Cognition, 13, 18 7– 20 5.
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10 .6 Re ad in g an d An alyzin g
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand different types of reading and analyzing that business docum ents encounter.
2. Dem onstrate how to write for skimm ing and for analytical reading in at least one written
docum ent of each kind.
When you read, do you read each an d every word? Do you skim over the docum ent an d
try to identify key term s and them es? Do you focus on num bers and statistics, or ignore
the text and go straight to the pictures or em bedded video? Because people read in m any
diverse ways, you as a writer will want to consider how your audience m ay read and
analyze your docum ent.
Ever since Benjam in Franklin said that “tim e is m oney,” [1] busin ess m anagers have
placed a high value on getting work done quickly. Many tim es, as a result, a docum ent
will be skim m ed rather than read in detail. This is true whether the com m unication is a
one-paragraph e-m ail or a twenty-page proposal. If you anticipate that your docum ent
will be skim m ed, it behooves you to m ake your m ain points stand out for the reader.
In an e-m ail, use a “subject” line that tells the reader the gist of your m essage before he
or she open s it. For exam ple, the subject line “3 p.m . m eeting postponed to 4 p.m .”
conveys the m ost im portant piece of inform ation; in the body of the e-m ail you m ay
explain that Wednesday’s status m eeting for the XYZ project needs to be postponed to 4
p.m . because of a conflict with an offsite luncheon m eeting involving several XYZ project
team m em bers. If you used the subject line “Wednesday m eeting” instead, recipients
m ight glance at their in-box, think, “Oh, I already know I’m supposed to attend that
m eeting,” and not read the body of the m essage. As a result, they will not find out that
the m eeting is postponed.
For a longer piece of writing such as a report or proposal, here are som e techniques you
can use to help the reader grasp key points.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Present a quick overview, or “executive sum m ary,” at the beginning of the docum ent.
Use boldface headings as signposts for the m ain sections and their subsections.
Where possible, m ake your headings inform ative; for exam ple, a heading like “Problem
Began in 1992” is more inform ative than one that says “Background.”
Within each section, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that indicates what the
paragraph discusses.
When you have a list of points, questions, or considerations, form at them with bullets
rather than listing them in sentences.
The “bottom line,” generally understood to m ean the total cost of a given expenditure or
project, can also refer to the conclusions that the inform ation in the report leads to. As
the expression indicates, these conclusions should be clearly presented at the end of the
docum ent, which is the place where the tim e-pressed reader will often turn im m ediately
after reading the first page.
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Im agine how unhappy you would be if you subm itted a report an d your audience cam e
away with a m essage com pletely different from what you had intended. For exam ple,
suppose your m anager is considering adoptin g a specific n ew billing system in your
office and has asked you to report on the pros and cons of this system . You worked hard,
gathered plenty of inform ation, and wrote a detailed report which, in your opinion, gave
strong support for adopting the new system .
However, the first few pages of your report described system s other than the one un der
consideration. Next, you presented the reasons not to im plem ent the new system .
Throughout the report, em bedded in the body of several different paragraphs, you
m entioned the advantages offered by the new system ; but they were not grouped
together so that you could em phasize them with a heading or other signpost for the
reader. At the end of the report, you reviewed the current billing system and stated that
few problem s were encountered with it.
When you delivered your report, the m anager and colleagues who received it m issed
your m ost im portant inform ation and decided not to consider the n ew system an y
further. Worse, your manager later criticized you for spending too m uch tim e on the
report, saying it was n ot very inform ative. Situations like this can be avoided if you
provide a clear organizational fram ework to draw your reader’s attention to your m ain
points.
Analyzing is distinct from reading. When you read, you attem pt to grasp the author’s
m eaning via words and sym bols, and you m ay com e away with a general em otional
feeling about what the writer has written instead of an arsenal of facts. When you
analyze a docum ent, you pay m ore attention to how the author assem bled the
inform ation to present a coherent m essage. Business writing often involves
com m unication via words an d sym bols in ways that m eet audience expectations; in
m any cases, the audience needs to be able to analyze the content, and reading is
secondary. For this reason, a solid organizational pattern will greatly enhance your
docum ent’s effectiveness.
Ke y Take aw ay
Logical organization is im portant to prom ote reader understanding and analysis.
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Exe rcis e s
1. Take a news article and m ark it up to reveal its organizational structure. Does it have an
inform ative opening paragraph? Does each additional paragraph begin with a topic
sentence? Does it use subheadings? Is there a conclusion that follows logically from the
inform ation presented?
2. Find an article that you do not like and review it. State specific reasons why you dislike it
and share your opinion with your classm ates.
3. Find an article that you do like and review it. State specific reasons why you like it and
share your opinion with your classm ates.
4. You’ve been assigned to a sales team that has not been perform ing at optim al levels.
Develop an incentive program to improve the team ’s perform ance. Present your idea to
the class.
[1] Franklin, B. (1748). Advice to a y oung tradesm an, w ritten by an old one.
Philadelphia, PA: B. Franklin and D. Hall.
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10 .7 Ad d itio n al Re s o u rce s
The Library of Congress is the nation’s oldest federal cultural institution and serves as
the research arm of the U.S. Congress. It is also the largest library in the world, with
m illions of books, recordings, photographs, m aps, and m anuscripts in its collections.
http:/ / www.loc.gov/ index.htm l
The Copyright Office of the Library of Congress offers a wide variety of resources for
understanding copyright law and how to avoid plagiarism . http:/ / www.copyright.gov
The Learning Center is designed to help educators and students develop a better sense
of what plagiarism m eans in the inform ation age, an d to teach the planning,
organizational, and citation skills essential for producing quality writing and research.
http:/ / www.plagiarism .org/ learning_ center/ hom e.htm l
The New York Public Library’s Science, Industry, and Busin ess Library (SIBL) is the
nation’s largest public inform ation center devoted solely to science and business.
http:/ / www.nypl.org/ research/ sibl
The Lippincott Library serves the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania,
one of the world’s top business schools. http:/ / www.library.upenn.edu/ lippincott
Thunderbird School of Global Managem ent operates Thunderbird Knowledge Network,
an interactive forum on contem porary busin ess issues delivered in stories, colum ns,
videos, podcasts, and blogs. http:/ / knowledgenetwork.thunderbird.edu/ research
The W all Street Journal is one of the m ost widely read sources of business news.
http:/ / online.wsj.com / hom e-page
Personalize your business news and analysis with Business W eek’s m em ber service,
Business Exchange. http:/ / bx.businessweek.com
INSEAD: The Business School for the World, one of the largest and m ost highly
regarded schools for MBA, Executive MBA, and PhD degrees in busin ess, m akes its
library resources available online. http:/ / www.insead.edu/ library/ index.cfm
As an exam ple of an industry trade association, the Association of Construction Project
Managers (ACPM) is a voluntary association of specialist project m an agem ent
professionals working in the built environm ent. http:/ / www.acpm .co.za
The United States Governm ent’s Sm all Business Adm inistration has a m andate to aid,
counsel, assist and protect the interests of sm all business concerns, to preserve free
com petitive enterprise, and to m aintain and strengthen the overall econom y of our
nation. http:/ / www.sba.gov
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The U.S. Departm ent of Labor’s Occupational Safety and Health Adm inistration
(OSHA) sets the standards and conducts inspections to ensure safety and prevent
accidents in the workplace. http:/ / www.osha.gov
The Society for Hum an Resource Managem ent is a key source of news and inform ation
on HR topics. http:/ / www.shrm .org/ Pages/ default.aspx
The Chicago Board of Trade, the world’s oldest futures and options exchange, trades
treasury bonds, corn, soybean, wheat, gold, silver, and other com m odities.
http:/ / www.cbot.com
Yahoo! Finance is a useful site for tracking the Dow, S&P 50 0 , and other m ajor stock
indices in the United States and abroad; it also has areas for financial news, investing,
and personal finance. http:/ / finance.yahoo.com
The Occupational Outlook Handbook, published every two years by the U.S. Bureau of
Labor Statistics, describes hundreds of different types of jobs, the training and
education each job requires, the typical earnings in that job, an d m ore.
http:/ / www.bls.gov/ OCO
CareerBuilder.com , which describes itself as the largest online job search site, offers a
vast online and print n etwork to help job seekers connect with em ployers.
http:/ / www.careerbuilder.com
According to its Web site, Fast Com pany “sets the agen da, charting the evolution of
business through a unique focus on the m ost creative individuals sparking change in the
m arketplace.” http:/ / www.fastcom pany.com
LinkedIn, which has been described as the professional counterpart to social networking
sites such as Facebook and MySpace, is an interconnected network of experienced
professionals from around the world, representing 170 in dustries an d 20 0 countries.
http:/ / www.linkedin.com
Intuit, m aker of QuickBooks, Quicken, TurboTax, and other accounting software,
provides a sm all busin ess inform ation center on its Web site. What would you expect to
find here that is different from the resources a noncom m ercial source would offer?
http:/ / sm allbusiness.intuit.com
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Ch apte r 11 W ritin g
Although I usually think I know what I’m going to be writing about, what I’m going to
say, m ost of the tim e it doesn’t happen that way at all. At som e point I get m isled down a
garden path, I get surprised by an idea that I hadn’t anticipated getting, which is a little
bit like being in a laboratory.
Lewis Thom as
Ge ttin g Sta rte d
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s
1. Match each statem ent in the left colum n with the m ost appropriate m ode of
com m unication in the right colum n, and note why.
_ _ _ 1. Need the sales figures for the last m onth available A. Text m essage or instant m essage
in three days
(IM)
_ _ _ 2. Inform departm ent em ployees of face-to-face
(F2F) m eeting next month
B. E-m ail
_ _ _ 3. International client requests price quote
C. Fax
_ _ _ 4. Assigned to investigate partnership with supplier
D. Report
to codevelop a new product
_ _ _ 5. Need to inform em ployee of a discrepancy in their
E. Proposal
expense report
_ _ _ 6. Need to facilitate m eeting with two departm ent
m anagers from two distinct tim e zones.
F. Face-to-face (F2F) m eeting,
interpersonal interaction
_ _ _ 7. Need to follow up with custom er post sale
G. F2F m eeting, group or team
_ _ _ 8. Need to contact new prospective custom er
H. Meeting (m ediated), teleconference
or videoconference
There are no right or wrong answers to this m atching exercise, but there are strengths
and weaknesses associated with each m ode. Does the inform ation need to be received as
soon as possible? Will the docum ent require tim e an d preparation? Will the result be
com prehensive and require visual representation of data, trends, and their
relationships(s)? Associate each statem ent with what you consider the m ost appropriate
m odel of com m unication and note why. Discuss your responses with your classm ates.
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s ( co n t.)
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2. These sentences focus on som e of the m ost com m on errors in English. Can you fill in
the blanks correctly?
1. accept or
except
The office will
_______
applications until 5
p.m . on the 31st.
accept
2. affect or
effect
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the
growth of plants, we
can regulate the
water supply.
Please order 2,0 0 0
im printed giveaways
(_ _ _ _ _ _ _ , pens or
coffee m ugs)
The departm ent
surpassed _ _ _ _ _ _ _
previous sales record
this quarter.
Please _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the
report on the desk.
affect
We need to
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ the liquid
nitrogen tanks.
It’s the basic
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of
farm ing: no water,
no food.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of what
we do, gas prices are
unlikely to go back
down.
pressurize
3. e.g. or i.e.
4. its or it’s
5. lay or lie
6. pressure or
pressurize
7. principle or
principal
8. regardless
or
irregardless
9. than or
then
10 . that or
w hich
This year’s losses
were worse
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ last
year’s.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ type of
m arketing data did
you need?
There are several
kinds of data
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ could be
useful.
11. there their, The report is
or they ’re
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , in the
top file drawer.
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e.g.
its
lay
principle
Regardless
than
Which
Attendance is
required for all
em ployees
_______
supervisors.
A lack of water has a
predictable
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ on m ost
plants.
Charge them to m y
account (_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,
account # 98765).
except
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ my
opinion that we
reached peak oil in
20 0 8.
The doctor asked
him to _ _ _ _ _ _ _
down on the
exam ination table.
It m ight be possible
to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ him to
resign.
The _ _ _ _ _ _ _
reason for the trip is
to attend the sales
m eeting.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of your
beliefs, please try to
listen with an open
m ind.
It’s
If we can cut our
costs, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ it
m ight be possible to
break even.
Karen m isplaced the
report, _ _ _ _ _ _ _
caused a delay in
m aking a decision.
effect
i.e.
lie
pressure
principal
Regardless
(irregardless is
not a standard
word; see your
dictionary)
then
which
that
there
__________
strategic advantage
depends on a wide
Their
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distribution
network.
12. to too, or
tw o
13.
uninterested
or
disinterested
14. w ho,
w hom , w ho’s,
or w hose
15 y our or
y ou’re
__________
planning to attend
the sales m eeting in
Pittsburgh.
Custom ers need
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ drive
slower if they want
to save gas.
They’re
In fact, the
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of you
should m ake som e
custom er visits
together.
He would be the best
person to m ake a
decision, since he
isn’t biased and is
relatively _ _ _ _ _ _ _
in the outcom e.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ truck
is that?
two
to
disinterested
Whose
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ will
go to the interview?
Who
My office is bigger
than _ _ _ _ _ _ _
cubicle.
your
After sales m eeting,
you should visit
custom ers in the
Pittsburgh area
_______.
too
The sales m anager
tried to speak
dynam ically, but the
sales reps were
sim ply _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in
what he had to say.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ going
to pay for the
repairs?
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
should we address
the thank-you note?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ going to
learn how to avoid
m aking these
com mon m istakes in
English.
uninterested
Who’s
whom
You’re
If all the world is a stage then you, as a business writer, m ust be the script writer,
correct? Actually, those who em ploy you, specify your job duties, m anage the business,
and design ate which problem s you are to solve are m ore like the script writers,
directors, and producers. So what role does that leave you as a business writer? Actor.
You m ay not be seen “on stage” by the suppliers you write, the departm ents you inform
with your reports, or the custom ers you serve, but your writing represents you and your
organization. As an actor m ust learn his or her lines, you too m ust learn the role of a
business writer within the context of your business or organization. It m ay well be that
you are allowed a degree of im provisation and creativity when you interpret your role, or
it could be the case that m any of the written docum ents you will produce follow a
standard tem plate, m uch like a script, that designates your lines before the writing
process begins. Knowing your place on stage and how it relates to your business is an
im portant aspect of business writing best not ignored.
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This chapter focuses on several strategies for success when it com es to the creative
process of writing, and your awareness of these skills will prove invaluable as your
responsibility increases and your ability to shape docum ents develops. Never lose sight
of the fact that each docum ent exists with a universe of relationships and interaction; it
does not stand alone. Also rem em ber that what you write today, particularly if you
“publish” it on the Internet, will be there for years to com e. Always consider how your
words will represent you and your organization when you are not there to clarify,
defend, or correct them . Your audience will have expectations of you, as will your
em ployer, and as an effective business writer you know that one key to success is
m eeting these expectations.
Creative writing for exposition, narration, and self-expression is an im portant part of
writing, but in the business context you have a role, job duties, and responsibilities both
internal and external to your organization. Your m astery of clear an d concise writing
will directly affect the interpretation, and m isinterpretation, of your m essage. Your goal
rem ains to reduce m isunderstandings through the effective and efficient use of words in
business docum ents, and the well-known m andate to “Om it needless words” [1] stands
true. Up to this point you have been preparing to write, but now the m om ent has com e
for perform ance.
[1] Strunk, W., J r., & White, E. B. (1979). The elem ents of sty le (3rd ed.). New York, NY:
Macm illian.
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11.1 Organ izatio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand how to develop and organize content in patterns that are appropriate for
your docum ent and audience.
2. Dem onstrate your ability to order, outline, and em phasize m ain points in one or more
written assignm ents.
3. Dem onstrate how to compose logically organized paragraphs, sentences, and transitions
in one or more written assignm ents.
The purpose of business writing is to com m unicate facts and ideas. In order to
accom plish that purpose, each docum ent has key com ponents that n eed to be present in
order for your reading audience to understand the m essage. These elem ents m ay seem
sim ple to the point that you m ay question how any writer could neglect them . But if you
take note of how often m iscom m unication and m isunderstanding happen, particularly
in written com m unications, you will realize that it happen s all the tim e. Om ission or
neglect m ay be intentional, but it is often unintentional; the writer assum es (wrongly)
that the reader will easily understand a concept, idea, or the m eanin g of the m essage.
From background to language, culture to education, there are m any variables that com e
into play and m ake effective com m unication a challenge. The degree to which you
address these basic elem ents will increase the effectiveness of your docum ents. Each
docum ent m ust address the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Who
What
When
Where
How
(and som etim es) Why
If you have these elem ents in m in d as you prepare your docum ent, it will be easier to
decide what to write and in what order. They will also be useful when you are reviewing
your docum ent before delivering it. If your draft om its any one of these elem ents or
addresses it in an unclear fashion, you will know what you need to do to fix it.
Another way to approach organizing your docum ent is with the classical proofs known
as ethos, logos, and pathos. Ethos, or your credibility, will com e through with your
choice of sources and authority on the subject(s). Your logos, or the logic of your
thoughts represented across the docum ent, will allow the reader to com e to understand
the relationships am on g who, what, where, when, and so forth. If your readers cannot
follow your logic they will lose interest, fail to understand your m essage, an d possibly
not even read it at all. Finally, your pathos, or passion and enthusiasm , will be reflected
in your design an d word choices. If your docum ent fails to convey enthusiasm for the
subject, how can you expect the reader to be interested? Every docum ent, indeed every
com m unication, represents aspects of these classical elem ents.
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Ge n e ral Pu rp o s e an d Th e s is State m e n ts
No m atter what your business writing project involves, it needs to convey som e central
idea. To clarify the idea in your m in d and m ake sure it com es through to your audience,
write a thesis statem en t. A thesis statem ent, or central idea, should be short, specific,
and to the point. Steven Beebe and Susan Beebe [1] recom m end five guiding prin ciples
when considering your thesis statem ent. The thesis statem ent should
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
be a declarative statem ent;
be a complete sentence;
use specific language, not vague generalities;
be a single idea;
reflect consideration of the audience.
This statem ent is key to the success of your docum ent. If your audience has to work to
find out what exactly you are talking about, or what your stated purpose or goal is, they
will be less likely to read, be influenced, or recall what you have written. By stating your
point clearly in your introduction, and then referring back to it in the body of the
docum ent and at the end, you will help your readers to understand and rem em ber your
m essage.
Organ izin g Prin cip le s
Once you know the basic elem ents of your m essage, you need to decide in what order to
present them to your audience. A central organizing principle will help you determ ine a
logical order for your inform ation. One com m on organizing principle is chronology, or
tim e: the writer tells what happened first, then what happen ed n ext, then what is
happen ing now, and, finally, what is expected to happen in the future. Another com m on
organizing principle is com parison: the writer describes one product, an argum ent on
one side of an issue, or one possible course of action; and then com pares it with another
product, argum ent, or course of action.
As an exam ple, let’s im agine that you are a business writer within the transportation
industry and you have been assigned to write a series of inform ative pieces about an
international initiative called the “TransAm erica Transportation System Study.” J ust as
the First Transcontinental Railroad once unified the United States from east to west,
which was further reinforced by the Interstate Highway System , the proposed
TransAm erica Transportation System will facilitate integrating the m arkets of Mexico,
the United States, an d Canada from north to south. Rail transportation has long been an
integral part of the transportation and distribution system for goods across the
Am ericas, and its role will be im portant in this new system .
In deciding how to organize your report, you have several challenges and m any
possibilities of differen t organizing principles to use. Part of your introduction will
involve a historical perspective, and a discussion of the events that led from the First
Transcontinental Railroad to the TransAm erica Transportation System proposal. Other
aspects will include com paring the old railroad and highway system s to the new ones,
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and the transform ative effect this will have on business and industry. You will need to
acknowledge the com plex relationships an d challenges that collaboration has overcom e,
and highlight the com m on benefits. You will be called on to write inform ative
docum ents as part of a public relations initiative, persuasive essays to underscore the
benefits for those who prefer the status quo, and even write speeches for celebrations
and awards.
Table 11.1 "Organizing Principles" lists seventeen different organizin g principles and
how they m ight be applied to various pieces you would write about the TransAm erican
Transportation System . The left colum n provides the nam e of the organizing principle.
The center colum n explains the process of organizing a docum ent according to each
principle, and the third colum n provides an exam ple.
Table 11.1 Organizing Principles
Organ izin g
Prin cip le
1. Tim e
(Chronological)
2. Comparison
Exp lan atio n o f Pro ce s s
Exam p le
Structuring your docum ent by tim e
shows a series of events or steps in a
process, which typically has a
beginning, m iddle, and end. “Once
upon a tim e stories” follow a
chronological pattern.
Before the First Transcontinental
Railroad, the events that led to
its construction, and its im pact
on early Am erica. Additional
exam ples m ay include the
national highway projects and
the developm ent of reliable air
freight.
Structuring your docum ent by
comparison focuses on the
sim ilarities and/ or differences
between points or concepts.
Now we can consider the
TransAm erica Transportation
System an d the sim ilar and
distinct events that led us to
today.
A com parison of pre– and post–
First Transcontinental Railroad
Am erica, showing how health
and life expectancy im proved
with the increased access to
goods and services.
Another exam ple could be drawn
from air freight, noting that
organ donation in one part of the
country can now save a life in
another state or on the opposite
coast.
In a sim ilar way, the
TransAm erica Transportation
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3. Contrast
Structuring your docum ent by using
contrasting points highlights the
differences between item s and
concepts.
System will im prove the lives of
the citizens of Mexico, the United
States, and Canada.
A contrast of pre– and post– First
Transcontinental Railroad
Am erica showing how m uch tim e
it took to com m unicate via letter,
or how long it took to m ove out
West. J ust in tim e delivery and
the m odern highway system and
trucking m ay serve as an
exam ple for contrast.
The TransAm erica
Transportation System will
reduce custom s clearin g tim e
while increasing border security
along the distribution network.
4. Cause and
Effect
Structuring your docum ent by cause
and effect structuring establishes a
relationship between two events or
situations, m aking the connection
clear.
5. Problem and
Solution
Structuring your docum ent by
problem and solution m eans you
state the problem and detail how it
was solved. This approach is
effective for persuasive speeches.
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The m ovem ent of people and goods
out West grew considerably from
1750 to 1850 . With the availability of
a new and faster way to go West,
people generally supported its
construction. Both the modern
highway and air transportation
system s m ay serve as exam ples,
noting how people, goods, and
services can be delivered in
drastically reduced tim e fram es.
Citizens of all three countries
involved have increasingly been
involved in trade, and movem ent
across com mon borders through the
TransAm erica Transportation
System will enable the m ovem ent of
goods and services with great
efficiency.
Manufacturers were producing
better goods for less m oney at the
start of the Industrial Revolution,
but they lacked a fast and effective
m ethod of getting their goods to
growing m arkets. The First
Transcontinental Railroad gave
them speed, econom y, and access to
new m arkets. Highways and air
routes have dram atically increased
this trend. In a sim ilar way, this new
system is the next evolutionary step
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in the integration and growth of our
com mon m arketplaces.
6. Classification
(Categorical)
Structuring your docum ent by
classification establishes categories.
At the tim e the United States
considered the First
Transcontinental Railroad, there
were three m ain types of
transportation: by water, by
horse, and by foot.
Now rail, road, an d air
transportation are the norm
across busin ess and in dustry.
7. Biographical
Structuring your docum ent by
biography m eans exam ining specific
people as they relate to the central
topic.
•
•
•
•
•
8. Space (Spatial)
Structuring your docum ent by space
involves the parts of something and
how they fit to form the whole.
9. Ascending and
Descending
Structuring your docum ent by
ascending or descending order
involves focusing on quantity and
quality. One good story (quality)
leads to the larger picture, or the
reverse.
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180 4: Lewis and Clark travel
4,0 0 0 m iles in over two
years across Am erica
1862: President Lincoln
signs the Pacific Railroad Act
1876: The Transcontinental
Express from New York
arrives in San Francisco with
a record-breaking tim e of 83
hours and 39 m inutes
20 0 9: President Obam a can
cross Am erica by plane in
less than 5 hours
So why shouldn’t the ratio of
tim e from import to
consum er be reduced?
A train uses a heat source to heat
water, create steam , and turn a
turbine, which m oves a lever,
causing a wheel to m ove on a track.
A package picked up from an office
in New York in the m orning is
delivered to another in Los Angeles
in the afternoon. From a Pacific port
in Northern Mexico to a m arket in
Chicago or Canada, this system
unifies the m ovem ent of goods and
services.
A day in the life of a traveler in
180 0 . Increm ental developm ents in
transportation to the present,
expressed through statistics, graphs,
m aps, and charts. A day in the life of
a traveler in 1960 , 1980 , or even
20 0 0 , with visual exam ples of
changes and trends m ay also
contribute to the docum ent. A day in
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10 . Psychological
It is also called “Monroe’s
Motivated Sequence.” [2]
Structuring your docum ent on
the psychological aspects of the
audience involves focusing on
their inherent needs and wants.
See Maslow [3] and Schutz. [4] The
author calls attention to a need,
then focuses on the satisfaction
of the need, visualization of the
solution, and ends with a
proposed or historical action.
Useful for a persuasive m essage.
11. Elim ination
Structuring your docum ent using
the process of elim ination involves
outlining all the possibilities.
the life of a traveler in 20 0 9
compared to the relatively slow
m ovem ent of goods and services,
constrained by an antiquated
transportation network that
negatively im pacts efficiency.
When fam ilies in the year 180 0 went
out West, they rarely returned to see
fam ily and friends. The country as a
whole was an extension of this
distended fam ily, separated by tim e
and distance. The railroad, the
highways, and air travel brought
fam ilies and the country together. In
the sam e way, com mon m arkets
already exist across the three
countries, but rem ain separated by
tim e, distance, and an antiquated
system scheduled for significant
im provem ent.
The First Transcontinental
Railroad helped pave the way for
the destruction of the Native
Am erican way of life in 1870 .
After exam in ing treaties,
relocation and reservations, loss
of the buffalo, disease, and war,
the railroad can be accurately
considered the catalyst for the
end of an era.
From the lessons of history we
can learn to protect an d preserve
our distinct cultures, languages,
and sovereign territories as we
integrate a com m on
transportation system for our
m utual benefit and security.
12. Exam ple
Structuring your docum ent by
exam ple involves providing vivid,
specific exam ples (as opposed to
abstract representations of data) to
support m ain points.
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J ust as it once took weeks, even
m onths, for a sim ple letter to move
from coast to coast, goods and
services have had a long and
arduous process from importation
to m arket. For exam ple, the popular
Christm as toy X, im ported to
Mexico from China in September,
m ay well not be on store shelves by
Decem ber 25 under the old system .
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13. Process and
Procedure
14. Point Pattern
15. Definition
Structuring your docum ent by
process and procedure is sim ilar to
the tim e (chronological)
organizational pattern with the
distinction of steps or phases that
lead to a complete end goal. This is
often referred to as the “how-to”
organizational pattern.
Structuring your docum ent in a
series of points allows for the
presentation of diverse assertions to
be aligned in a cohesive argum ent
with clear support.
Structuring your docum ent with a
guiding definition allows for a clear
introduction of term s and concepts
while reducing the likelihood of
m isinterpretation.
16. Testimonial
Structuring your docum ent around
a testim ony, or first person account
of an experience, can be an effective
way to m ake an abstract concept
clearer to an audience.
17. Ceremonial
(Events,
Cerem onies, or
Celebrations)
Structuring your docum ent by
focusing on the following:
1. Thanking dignitaries and
representatives
2. The importance of the event
3. The relationship of the event
to the audience
4. Thanking the audience for
participation in the event,
cerem ony, or celebration
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Now it can move from im portation
to m arket in under two weeks.
From conception to design,
m anufacturing to packaging, to
transportation and inspection, to
sales and sales support, let’s
exam ine how the new
transportation system facilitates
increased efficiency in delivery to
m arket and product support.
The TransAm erica Transportation
System offers several advantages:
security, speed, efficiency, and cost
reduction.
The TransAm erica Transportation
System can be defined by its
purpose, its integrated com ponents,
and its impact on the secure
m ovem ent of goods and services
across com mon borders.
According to Ms. X, owner of
InterCountry Trading Com pany, it
previously took 12 weeks to import,
clear, and deliver a product from
Mexico to the United States, and an
additional four weeks to take
delivery in Canada. Now the process
takes less than two weeks.
Thanking the representatives,
builders, and everyone involved
with the construction of the
TransAm erica Transportation
System . The railroad will unite
Am erica, and bring us closer in
term s of trade, com m unication, and
fam ily. Thank you for participating
in today’s dedication.
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Ou tlin e s
Chances are you have learned the basic principles of outlining in English writing
courses: an outline is a fram ework that organizes m ain ideas an d subordinate ideas in a
hierarchical series of rom an num erals an d alphabetical letters. The right colum n of
Table 11.2 "Outline 1" presents a generic outline in a classical style. In the left colum n,
the three m ain structural elem ents of an inform ative docum ent are tied to the outline.
Your task is to fill in the right colum n outline with the actual ideas and points you are
m aking in your writing project. Feel free to adapt and tailor it to your needs, depending
on the specifics of your report, letter, or other docum ent.
Table 11.2 Outline 1
In tro d u ctio n
Main Ide a
I. Main idea:
Point 1
Body
Subpoint 1
A.1 specific
inform ation 1
A.2 specific
inform ation 2
II. Main idea:
Point 2
Subpoint 1
B.1 specific
inform ation 1
Body
B.2 specific
inform ation 2
III. Main idea:
Point 3
Subpoint 1
C.1 specific
inform ation 1
C.2 specific
inform ation 2
Conclusion
Sum m ary: Main
points 1– 3
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Table 11.3 "Outline 2" presents an alternate outline form that m ay be m ore suitable for
brief docum ents like letters and e-m ails. You can use this form at as a m odel or m odify it
as needed.
Table 11.3 Outline 2
1
Introduction
2
Body
3
Conclusion
General purpose, statement, or thesis
statem ent
Point 1:
Point 2:
Point 3:
Sum m arize m ain points
Para grap h s
Paragraphs are how we package inform ation in business com m unication, and the m ore
efficient the package, the easier the m eaning can be delivered.
You m ay wish to think of each paragraph as a sm all essay within a larger inform ation
platform , defined by a guiding thesis and an organizing principle. The standard fiveparagraph essay form at used on college term papers is m irrored in individual
paragraphs. Often college essays have m inim um or m axim um word counts, but
paragraphs hardly ever have established lim its. Each paragraph focuses on one central
idea. It can be as long or as short as it needs to be to get the m essage across, but
rem em ber your audience and avoid long, drawn-out paragraphs that m ay lose your
reader’s attention.
J ust as a docum ent generally has an introduction, body, and conclusion, so does a
paragraph. Each paragraph has one idea, thought, or purpose that is stated in an
introductory sentence. This is followed by one or m ore supporting sentences and
concluded with a sum m ary statem ent an d transition or link to the next idea, or
paragraph. Let’s address each in turn:
•
•
•
The topic sentence states the m ain thesis, purpose, or topic of the paragraph; it defines
the subject m atter to be addressed in that paragraph.
Body sentences support the topic sentence and relate clearly to the subject m atter of the
paragraph and overall docum ent. They m ay use an organizing principle sim ilar to that of
the docum ent itself (chronology, contrast, spatial) or introduce a related organizing
principle (point by point, process or procedure).
The conclusion sentence brings the paragraph to a close; it m ay do this in any of several
ways. It m ay reinforce the paragraph’s m ain point, sum m arize the relationships among
the body sentences, and/ or serve as a transition to the next paragraph.
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Effe ctive Se n te n ce s
We have talked about the organization of docum ents and paragraphs, but what about
the organization of sen tences? You have probably learned in English courses that each
sentence needs to have a subject an d a verb; m ost sentences also have an object. There
are four basic types of sentences: declarative, im perative, interrogative, and
exclam atory. Here are som e exam ples:
•
•
•
•
D e clarative – You are invited to join us for lunch.
Im p e rative – Please join us for lunch.
In te rro gative – Would you like to join us for lunch?
Exclam ato ry – I’m so glad you can join us!
Declarative sentences m ake a statem ent, whereas interrogative sentences ask a question.
Im perative sentences convey a com m and, and exclam atory senten ces express a strong
em otion. Interrogative and exclam atory sentences are easy to identify by their final
punctuation, a question m ark and an exclam ation point, respectively. In business
writing, declarative and im perative senten ces are m ore frequently used.
There are also com pound and com plex sentences, which m ay use two or m ore of the
four basic types in com bination:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Sim ple sentence. Sales have increased.
Com pound sentence. Sales have increased and profits continue to grow.
Com plex sentence. Sales have increased and we have the sales staff to thank for it.
Com pound com plex sentence. Although the econom y has been in recession, sales have
increased, and we have sales staff to thank for it.
In our sim ple senten ce, “sales” serves as the subject and “have increased” serves as the
verb. The sentence can stand alone because it has the two basic parts that constitute a
sentence. In our com pound sentence we have two indepen dent clauses that could stand
alone; they are join ed by the conjunction “and.” In our com plex sen tence, we have an
independent clause, which can stand on its own, com bined with a fragm ent (not a
sentence) or depen den t clause which, if it were not joined to the independent clause,
would not m ake any sense. The fragm ent “and we have the sales staff to thank” on its
own would have us asking “for what?” as the subject is absent. Com plex com pound
sentences com bine a m ix of independent an d dependent clauses, an d at least one of the
clauses m ust be depen dent.
The ability to write com plete, correct senten ces is like any other skill—it com es with
practice. The m ore writing you do, as you m ake an effort to use correct gram m ar, the
easier it will becom e. Reading audiences, particularly in a business context, will not
waste their tim e on poor writing and will m ove on. Your challenge as an effective
business writer is to know what you are going to write and then to m ake it com e across,
via words, sym bols, and im ages, in a clear an d concise m anner.
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Sentences should avoid being vague and focus on specific content. Each sentence should
convey a com plete thought; a vague sentence fails to m eet this criteria. The reader is left
wondering what the sentence was supposed to convey.
•
•
Vague – We can facilitate solutions in pursuit of success by leveraging our core strengths.
Specific – By using our knowledge, experience, and capabilities, we can achieve the
production targets for the com ing quarter.
Effective sentences also lim it the range and scope of each com plete thought, avoiding
needless com plexity. Som etim es writers m istakenly equate long, com plex senten ces
with excellen ce and skill. Clear, concise, and often brief sentences serve to com m unicate
ideas an d concepts in effective and efficient ways that com plex, hard-to-follow sentences
do not.
•
•
Com plex. Air transportation features speed of delivery in ways few other form s of
transportation can m atch, including tractor-trailer and rail, and is readily available to the
individual consum er and the corporate client alike.
Clear. Air transportation is accessible and faster than railroad or trucking.
Effective sentences are com plete, contain ing a subject and a verb. Incom plete
sentences—also known as sentence fragm ents—dem onstrate a failure to pay attention to
detail. They often invite m isunderstanding, which is the opposite of our goal in business
com m unication.
•
•
Fragm ents – Although air transportation is fast. Costs m ore than trucking.
Complete – Although air transportation is fast, it costs m ore than trucking.
Effective business writing avoids bureaucratic language and phrase that are the
hallm ark of decoration. Decoration is a reflection of ritual, and ritual has its role. If you
are the governor of a state, and want to m ake a resolution declaring today as HIV/ AIDS
Awareness Day, you are allowed to start the docum ent with “Whereas” because of its
ritual im portance. Sim ilarly, if you are writin g a legal docum ent, tradition calls for
certain standard phrases such as “know all m en by these presents.” However, in
standard business writing, it is best to refrain from using bureaucratic phrases and
ritualistic words that decorate and distract the reader from your clear, essential
m eaning. If the custom er, client, or supplier does not understand the m essage the first
tim e, each follow-up attem pt to clarify the m eaning through interaction is a cost. Table
11.4 "Bureaucratic Phrases and Standard Alternatives" presents a few exam ples of
com m on bureaucratic phrases an d standard English alternatives.
Table 11.4 Bureaucratic Phrases an d Standard Alternatives
Bu re au cratic Ph ras e
At the present tim e
Concerning the m atter of
Despite the fact that
Due to the fact that
Im plem ent an
Stan dard En glis h Alte rn ative s
Now, today
Regarding, about
Although, while, even though
Because, since, as
Find out, investigate
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investigation of
Inasm uch as
It has been suggested
It is believed that
It is the opinion of the
author
Until such tim e as
With the exception of
Because, since, as
[nam e of person or organization] has suggested,
said, or stated
[nam e of person or organization] believes, thinks, or
says that
I believe, I think, in m y opinion
Until, when
Except, apart from
In oral com m unication, repetition can be an effective strategy to reinforce a m essage,
but in written com m unication it adds needless length to a docum ent and im pairs clarity.
•
•
Redundant – In this day and age air transportation by air carrier is the clear winner over
alternative m odes of conveyance for speed and m eeting tight deadlines.
Clear – Today air transportation is faster than other m ethods.
When a writer states that som ething is a “true fact,” a group achieved a “consensus of
opinion,” or that the “final outcom e” was declared, the word choices reflect an
unnecessary redundancy. A fact, consensus, or outcom e need not be qualified with
words that state sim ilar concepts. If it is fact, it is true. A consen sus, by definition, is
form ed in a group from diverse opinions. An outcom e is the final result, so adding the
word “final” repeats the fact unnecessarily.
In business writing we seek clear and concise writing that speaks for itself with little or
no m isinterpretation. The m ore com plex a sentence becom es, the easier it is to lose
track of its m eaning. When we consider that it m ay read by som eone for whom English
is a secon d language, the com plex senten ce becom es even m ore problem atic. If we
consider its translation, we add another layer of com plexity that can lead to
m iscom m unication. Finally, effective sentences follow the KISS form ula for success:
Keep It Sim ple—Sim plify!
Tran s itio n s
If you were going to build a house, you would need a strong foundation. Could you put
the beam s to hold your roof in place without anything to keep them in place? Of course
not; they would fall down right away. In the sam e way, the colum ns or beam s are like
the m ain ideas of your docum ent. They n eed to have connections to each other so that
they becom e interdependent and stay where you want them so that your house, or your
writing, doesn’t com e crashing down.
Transitions involve words or visual devices that help the audience follow the author’s
ideas, connect the m ain points to each other, and see the relationships you’ve created in
the inform ation you are presenting. They are often described as bridges between ideas,
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thought or concepts, providing som e sense of where you’ve been and where you are
going with your docum ent. Transitions guide the audience in the progression from one
significant idea, concept, or point to the next. They can also show the relationships
between the m ain point and the support you are using to illustrate your point, provide
exam ples for it, or refer to outside sources. Table 11.5 "Types of Transitions in Writing"
is a sum m ary of fourteen different types of transitions. Consider them as you
contem plate how to bring together your inform ation and m ake notes on your outline.
Table 11.5 Types of Transitions in Writing
Type
1. Internal
Previews
2. Signposts
3. Internal
Sum m aries
4. Sequence
5. Tim e
6. Addition
7. Sim ilarity
8.
Comparison
D e fin itio n
An in te rn al p re vie w is a brief
statem ent referring to a point you
are going to m ake. It can forecast
or foreshadow a m ain point in your
docum ent.
A s ign p o s t alerts the audience you
are m oving from one topic to the
next. Sign posts or signal words
draw attention to them selves and
focus the audience’s attention.
An in te rn al s u m m ary briefly
covers inform ation or alludes to
inform ation introduced previously.
It can rem ind an audience of a
previous point and reinforce
inform ation covered in your
docum ent.
A s e qu e n ce tran s itio n outlines a
hierarchical order or series of steps
in your docum ent. It can illustrate
order or steps in a logical process.
A tim e tran s itio n focuses on the
chronological aspects of your
order. Particularly useful in an
article utilizing a story, this
transition can illustrate for the
audience progression of tim e.
An ad ditio n o r ad d itive
tran s itio n contributes to a
previous point. This transition can
build on a previous point and
extend the discussion.
A tran s itio n by s im ilarity
draws a parallel between two ideas,
concepts or exam ples. It can
indicate a comm on area between
points for the audience.
A tran s itio n by co m paris o n
draws a distinction between two
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Exam p le s
If we look ahead to, next we’ll exam ine,
now we can focus our attention on, first
we’ll look at, then we’ll exam ine
Stop and consider, we can now address,
turning from / to, another, this rem inds
m e of, I would like to em phasize
As I have said, as we have seen, as
m entioned earlier, in any event, in
conclusion, in other words, in short, on
the whole, therefore, to sum m arize, as a
result, as has been noted previously,
First…second…third, furthermore, next,
last, still, also, and then, besides, finally
Before, earlier, imm ediately, in the
m eantim e, in the past, lately, later,
m eanwhile, now, presently, shortly,
sim ultaneously, since, so far, soon as
long as, as soon as, at last, at length, at
that tim e, then, until, afterward
Additionally, not to m ention, in addition
to, furthermore, either, neither, besides,
on, in fact, as a m atter of fact, actually,
not only, but also, as well as
In the sam e way, by the sam e token,
equally, sim ilarly, just as we have seen,
in the sam e vein
Like, in relation to, bigger than, the
fastest, larger than, than any other, is
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9. Contrast
Type
10 . Cause and
Effect, Result
11. Exam ples
12. Place
13.
Clarification
14.
Concession
ideas, concepts or exam ples. It can
indicate a comm on or divergent
area between points for the
audience.
A tran s itio n by co n tras t draws
a distinction of difference,
opposition, or irregularity between
two ideas, concepts or exam ples.
This transition can indicate a key
distinction between points for the
audience.
D e fin itio n
A tran s itio n by cau s e an d
e ffe ct o r re s u lt illustrates a
relationship between two ideas,
concepts or exam ples and m ay
focus on the outcom e or result. It
can illustrate a relationship
between points for the audience.
A tran s itio n by e xam p le
illustrates a connection between a
point and an exam ple or exam ples.
You m ay find visual aids work well
with this type of transition.
A place tran s itio n refers to a
location, often in a spatially
organized essay, of one point of
em phasis to another. Again, visual
aids work well when discussing
physical location with the reading
audience.
A clarificatio n tran s itio n
restates or further develops a m ain
idea or point. It can also serve as a
signal to a key point.
A co n ce s s io n tran s itio n
indicates knowledge of contrary
inform ation. It can address a
perception the audience m ay hold
and allow for clarification.
bigger than, both, either…or, likewise
But, neither…nor, however on the other
hand, although, despite, even though, in
contrast, in spite of, on the contrary
conversely, unlike, while instead,
nevertheless, nonetheless, regardless,
still, though, yet, although
Exam p le s
As a result, because, consequently, for
this purpose, accordingly, so, then,
therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end,
for this reason, as a result, because ,
therefore, consequently, as a
consequence, and the outcom e was
In fact, as we can see, after all, even, for
exam ple, for instance, of course,
specifically, such as, in the following
exam ple, to illustrate m y point
opposite to, there, to the left, to the right,
above, adjacent to, elsewhere, far, farther
on, below, beyond, closer to, here, near,
nearby, next to
To clarify, that is, I m ean, in other
words, to put it another way that is to
say, to rephrase it, in order to explain,
this m eans
We can see that while, although it is true
that, granted that, while it m ay appear
that, naturally, of course, I can see that, I
adm it that while
Ke y Take aw ay
Organization is the key to clear writing. Organize your docum ent using key elem ents, an
organizing principle, and an outline. Organize your paragraphs and sentences so that
your audience can understand them , and use transitions to m ove from one point to the
next.
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Exe rcis e s
1. What functions does organization serve in a docum ent? Can they be positive or negative?
Explain and discuss with a classm ate.
2. Create an outline from a sam ple article or docum ent. Do you notice an organizational
pattern? Explain and discuss with a classm ate.
3. Which of the following sentences are good exam ples of correct an d clear business
English? For senten ces needing im provem ent, describe what is wrong and write a
sentence that corrects the problem . Discuss your answers with your classm ates.
1. Marlys has been chosen to receive a promotion next m onth.
2. Because her work is exem plary.
3. At such tim e as it becomes feasible, it is the intention of our departm ent to
facilitate a lunch m eeting to congratulate Marlys
4. As a result of budget allocation analysis and exam ination of our financial
condition, it is indicated that salary compensation for Marlys can be increased to
a lim ited degree.
5. When will Marlys’s promotion be official?
6. I am so envious!
7. Am ong those receiving promotions, Marlys, Bob, Germ aine, Terry, and Akiko.
8. The president asked all those receiving promotions com e to the m eeting.
9. Please attend a m eeting for all em ployees who will be promoted next m onth.
10 . Marlys intends to use her new position to m entor em ployees joining the firm ,
which will encourage com m itm ent and good work habits.
4. Find an exam ple of a poor sentence or a spelling or gram m ar error that was published
online or in print and share your finding with the class.
[1] Beebe, S. [Steven], & Beebe, S. [Susan]. (1997). Public speaking: An audiencecentered approach (3rd ed., pp. 121– 122). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
[2] Ayres, J ., & Miller, J . (1994). Effective public speaking (4th ed., p. 274). Madison,
WI: Brown & Benchm ark.
[3] Maslow, A. (1970 ). Motivation and personality (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Harper &
Row.
[4] Schutz, W. (1966). The interpersonal underw orld. Palo Alto, CA: Science and
Behavior Books.
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11.2 W ritin g Style
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Dem onstrate your ability to prepare and present inform ation using a writing style that
will increase understanding, retention, and m otivation to act.
You are invited to a business dinner at an expensive restaurant that has been the toprated dining establishm ent in your town for decades. You are aware of the restaurant’s
dress code, which forbids casual attire such as jeans, T-shirts, and sn eakers. What will
you wear? If you want to fit in with the other guests and m ake a favorable im pression on
your hosts, you will choose a good quality suit or dress (and appropriately dressy shoes
and accessories). You will avoid calling undue attention to yourself with clothing that is
overly form al—an evening gown or a tuxedo, for exam ple—or that would distract from
the business purpose of the occasion by being overly revealing or provocative. You m ay
feel that your freedom to express yourself by dressing as you please is being restricted,
or you m ay appreciate the opportunity to look your best. Either way, adhering to these
style conventions will serve you well in a business context.
The sam e is true in business writing. Unlike som e other kinds of writing such as poetry
or fiction, business writing is not an opportunity for self-expression. Instead it calls for a
fairly conservative and unadorned style. Writing style, also known as voice or tone, is
the m anner in which a writer addresses the reader. It involves qualities of writing such
as vocabulary and figures of speech, phrasing, rhythm , sentence structure, and
paragraph length. Developing an appropriate business writing style will reflect well on
you and in crease your success in an y career.
Fo rm al ve rs u s In fo rm al
There was a tim e when m any busin ess docum ents were written in third person to give
them the im pression of objectivity. This form al style was often passive and wordy. Today
it has given way to active, clear, con cise writing, som etim es known as “Plain English.” [1]
As business and industry increasingly trade across borders and languages, writing
techniques that obscure m eaning or im pede understanding can cause serious problem s.
Efficient writing styles have becom e the norm . Still, you will experience in your own
writing efforts this “old school versus new school” writing debate over abbreviations,
contractions, an d the use of inform al language in what was once considered a form al
business context. Consider the following com parison of inform al versus form al and
bureaucratic styles.
Bureaucratic: Attached is the latest delivery data represented in topographical form s
pursuant to the directive ABC123 of the air transportation guide supplied by the Federal
Aviation Adm in istration in Septem ber of 20 0 8.
•
•
Form al – Please note the attached delivery data for J uly 20 0 9.
Inform al – Here’s the delivery data for last month.
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While it is generally agreed that bureaucratic form s can obscure m eaning, there is a
debate on the use of form al versus inform al styles in business com m unication. Form al
styles often require m ore detail, adhere to rules of etiquette, and avoid shortcuts like
contractions and folksy expressions. Inform al styles reflect everyday speech patterns
and m ay include contractions an d colloquial expressions. Many m anagers prefer not to
see contractions in a form al business context. Others will point out that a com m a
preceding the last item in a series (known as the “serial com m a”) is the standard, not the
exception. Som e will m ake a gen eral recom m endation that you should always “keep it
professional.” Here lies the heart of the debate: what is professional writing in a
business context? If you answered “it depends,” you are correct.
Keep in m in d that audiences have expectations and your job is to m eet them . Som e
business audiences prefer a fairly form al tone. If you include contractions or use a style
that is too casual, you m ay lose their interest and attention; you m ay also give them a
negative im pression of your level of expertise. If, however, you are writing for an
audience that expects inform al language, you m ay lose their interest and attention by
writing too form ally; your writing m ay also com e across as arrogant or pom pous. It is
not that one style is better than the other, but sim ply that styles of writing vary across a
range of options. Busin ess writing m ay need to m eet legal standards and in clude
references, as we see in the bureaucratic exam ple above, but that is generally not the
norm for com m unications within an organization. The skilled busin ess writer will know
his or her audience and will adapt the m essage to best facilitate com m unication.
Choosing the right style can m ake a significant im pact on how your writing is received.
You m ay hear reference to a conversational tone in writing as one option in business
com m unication. A conversational tone, as the nam e im plies, resem bles oral
com m unication in style, tone, and word choice. It can be appropriate for som e
audiences, and m ay serve you well in specific contexts, but it can easily com e across as
less than professional.
If you use expressions that im ply a relationship or a special awareness of inform ation
such as “you know,” or “as we discussed,” without explaining the n ecessary background,
your writing m ay be seen as overly fam iliar, intim ate, or even secretive. Trust is the
foundation for all comm unication interactions and a careless word or phrase can im pair
trust.
If you want to use hum or, think carefully about how your audience will interpret it.
Hum or is a fragile form of com m unication that requires an awareness of irony, of
juxtaposition, or a shared sense of attitudes, beliefs, and values. Different people find
hum or in different situations, and what is funny to one person m ay be dull, or even
hurtful, to som eone else.
Although there are business situations such as an interview or a perform ance selfevaluation where you need to state your accom plishm ents, in general business writing it
is best to avoid self-referential com m ents that allude to your previous successes. These
can com e across as selfish or arrogant. Instead, be gen erous in givin g credit where credit
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is due. Take every opportunity to thank your colleagues for their efforts and to
acknowledge those who contributed good ideas.
J argon is a vocabulary that has been developed by people in a particular group,
discipline, or industry, and it can be a useful shorthand as long as the audience knows
its m eaning. For exam ple, when writing for bank custom ers, you could refer to “ATM
transactions” and feel confident that your readers would know what you m eant. It would
be unnecessary and in appropriate to write “Autom ated Teller Machine transactions.”
Sim ilarly, if you were working in a hospital, you would probably use m any m edical
term s in your interactions with other m edical professionals. However, if you were a
hospital em ployee writing to a patient, using m edical jargon would be inappropriate, as
it would not contribute to the patient’s understanding.
Finally, in a busin ess context, rem em ber that conversational style is not an excuse to use
poor gram m ar, disrespectful or offensive slang, or profanity. Com m unication serves as
the bridge between m inds and your written words will represent you in your absen ce.
One strategy when trying to use a conversation tone is to ask yourself, “Would I say it in
this way to their face?” A follow-up question to consider is, “Would I say it in this way in
front of everyone?” Your professional use of language is one the hallm ark skills in
business, and the degree to which you m aster its use will reflect itself in your success.
Take care, take tim e, and m ake sure what you write com m unicates a professional tone
that positively represents you and your organization.
In tro d u ctio n s : D ire ct an d In d ire ct
Som etim es the first sentence is the hardest to write. When you know the two m ain
opening strategies it m ay not m ake it any easier, but it will give a plan and form a
fram ework. Business docum ents often incorporate one of two opening strategies
regardless of their organizational pattern. The direct pattern states the m ain purpose
directly, at the beginning, and leaves little room for m isinterpretation. The indirect
pattern, where you introduce your m ain idea after the opening paragraph, can be useful
if you need a strong opening to get the attention of what you perceive m ay be an
uninterested audience. Norm ally, if you expect a positive response from the reader you
will choose a direct opening, being clear from the first sentence about your purpose and
goal. If you do not expect a positive reception, or have to deliver bad news, you m ay
want to be less direct. Each style has its purpose and use; the skilled business writer will
learn to be direct and be able to present bad n ews with a positive opening paragraph.
Ad d in g Em p h a s is
There are tim es when you will want to add em phasis to a word, phrase, or statistic so
that it stands out from the surrounding text. The use of visual aids in your writing can be
an excellent option, an d can reinforce the written discussion. For exam ple, if you write
that sales are up 4 percent over this tim e last year, the num ber alone m ay not get the
attention it deserves. If, however, near the text section you feature a bar graph
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dem onstrating the sales growth figures, the representation of the inform ation in textual
and graphical way m ay reinforce its im portance.
As you look across the top of your word processing program you m ay notice bo ld ,
italics, underline, highlights, your choice of colors, and a host of interesting fonts.
Although it can be entertaining to experim ent with these visual effects, do not use them
just for the sake of decoration. Consistency and branding are im portant features of your
firm ’s public im age, so you will want the visual aspects of your writing to support that
im age. Still, when you need to highlight an im portant fact or em phasize a key question
in a report, your readers will appreciate your use of visual effects to draw their attention.
Consider the following exam ples:
•
Bullets can be effective when used with discretion.
Take care when using the following:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Numbers
With subheadings
In serial lists
As they can get
A bit overwhelm ing to the point where
The reader loses his or her interest
Em phasis can be influenced by your choice of font. Serif fonts, such as Tim es New
Rom an an d Garam ond, have decorative ends that m ake the font easy to read. Sans serif
fonts, like Arial, lack these visual cues and often serve better as headers.
You can also vary the em phasis according to where you place inform ation within a
sentence:
•
•
•
Maxim um em phasis. Sales have increased across the United States because of our latest
prom otion efforts in our largest and m ost successful m arket.
Medium em phasis. Because of our latest promotion efforts in our largest and m ost
successful m arket, sales have increased across the United States.
Minim um em phasis. The United States, which has experienced a sales increase, is our
largest and m ost successful m arket.
The inform ation at en d of the sentence is what people often recall, and is therefore
norm ally considered the location of m axim um em phasis. The second best position for
recall is the beginning of the sentence, while the m iddle of the sentence is the area with
the least recall. If you want to highlight a point, place it at the beginning or end of the
sentence, and if you want to deem phasize a point, the m iddle is your best option. [2]
Active ve rs u s Pa s s ive Vo ice
You want your writing to be engaging. Which sentence would you rather read?
•
A – All sales orders are processed daily by Mackenzie.
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•
B – Mackenzie processes all sales orders daily.
Most readers prefer sentence B, but why? You’ll recall that all sentences have a subject
and a verb, but you m ay not have paid m uch attention to their functions. Let’s look at
how the subject and verb function in these two sentences. In sentence A, the subject is
“Mackenzie,” and the subject is the doer of the action expressed by the verb (processes).
In sentence A, the subject is “sales orders,” and the subject is the receiver of the action
expressed by the verb (are processed). Senten ce A is written in active voice—a sentence
structure in which the subject carries out the action. Senten ce B is written in
passive voice—a sentence structure in which the subject receives the action.
Active sentences ten d to be shorter, m ore precise, and easier to understand. This is
especially true because passive senten ces can be written in ways that do not tell the
reader who the doer of the action is. For exam ple, “All sales orders are processed daily”
is a com plete and correct sentence in passive voice.
Active voice is the clear choice for a variety of contexts, but not all. When you want to
deem phasize the doer of the action, you m ay write, “Ten late arrivals were recorded this
m onth” and not even m ention who was late. The passive form doesn’t place blam e or
credit, so it can be m ore diplom atic in som e contexts. Passive voice allows the writer to
avoid personal referen ces or personal pronouns (he, she, they) to create a m ore
objective tone. There are also situations where the doer of the action is unknown, as in
“graffiti was painted on the side of our building last night.”
Overall, business com m unication resources tend to recom m end active voice as the
preferred style. Still, the styles them selves are not the problem or challenge, but it is
how we use them that m atters. A skilled business writer will see both styles as options
within a range of choices and learn to distinguish when each style is m ost appropriate to
facilitate com m unication.
Co m m o n ly Co n fu s e d W o rd s
The senten ces in Table 11.6 "Com m on Errors in English" focus on som e of the m ost
com m on errors in English. You m ay recall this exercise from the introduction of this
chapter. How did you do? Visit the “Additional Resources” section at the end of the
chapter for som e resources on English gram m ar and usage.
Table 11.6
Com m on Errors in English
1. accept or
except
The office will
_______
applications until 5
p.m . on the 31st.
accept
2. affect or
effect
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the
growth of plants, we
can regulate the
affect
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Attendance is
required for all
em ployees
_______
supervisors.
A lack of water has a
predictable
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ on m ost
except
effect
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3. e.g. or i.e.
4. its or it’s
5. lay or lie
6. pressure or
pressurize
7. principle or
principal
8. regardless
or
irregardless
water supply.
Please order 2,0 0 0
im printed giveaways
(_ _ _ _ _ _ _ , pens or
coffee m ugs)
The departm ent
surpassed _ _ _ _ _ _ _
previous sales record
this quarter.
Please _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the
report on the desk.
We need to
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ the liquid
nitrogen tanks.
It’s the basic
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of
farm ing: no water,
no food.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of what
we do, gas prices are
unlikely to go back
down.
e.g.
its
lay
pressurize
principle
Regardless
9. than or
then
This year’s losses
than
were worse
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ last year’s.
10 . that or
w hich
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ type of
m arketing data did
you need?
Which
There are several
kinds of data
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ could be
useful.
The report is
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , in the
top file drawer.
that
__________
planning to attend
the sales m eeting in
Pittsburgh.
Custom ers need
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ drive
slower if they want
to save gas.
They’re
11 there their,
or they ’re
12. to, too, or
tw o
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there
to
plants.
Charge them to m y
account (_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,
account # 98765).
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ my
opinion that we
reached peak oil in
20 0 8.
The doctor asked
him to _ _ _ _ _ _ _
down on the
exam ination table.
It m ight be possible
to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ him to
resign.
The _ _ _ _ _ _ _
reason for the trip is
to attend the sales
m eeting.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of your
beliefs, please try to
listen with an open
m ind.
If we can cut our
costs, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ it
m ight be possible to
break even.
Karen m isplaced the
report, _ _ _ _ _ _ _
caused a delay in
m aking a decision.
i.e.
It’s
lie
pressure
principal
Regardless
(Irregardless is
not a standard
word; see your
dictionary)
then
which
__________
strategic advantage
depends on a wide
distribution
network.
Their
After sales m eeting,
you should visit
custom ers in the
Pittsburgh area
_______.
too
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13.
uninterested
or
disinterested
14. w ho,
w hom , w ho’s,
or w hose
15 y our or
y ou’re
In fact, the
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ of you
should m ake som e
custom er visits
together.
He would be the best
person to m ake a
decision, since he
isn’t biased and is
relatively _ _ _ _ _ _ _
in the outcom e.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ truck
is that?
two
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ will
go to the interview?
Who
My office is bigger
than _ _ _ _ _ _ _
cubicle.
your
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disinterested
Whose
The sales m anager
tried to speak
dynam ically, but the
sales reps were
sim ply _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in
what he had to say.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ going
to pay for the
repairs?
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
should we address
the thank-you note?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ going to
learn how to avoid
m aking these
com mon m istakes in
English.
uninterested
Who’s
whom
You’re
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Makin g Erro rs at th e S p e e d o f Ligh t
In business and industry there is increasing pressure to produce under deadlines that in
som e respects have been artificially accelerated by the im m ediacy inherent in
technological com m unication devices. If you receive an e-m ail or text m essage while you
are in the m iddle of studying a com plex problem , you m ay be tem pted to “get it out of
the way” by typing out a quick reply, but in your haste you m ay fail to qualify, include
im portant inform ation, or even check to m ake sure you have hit “Reply” and not “Reply
to All” or even “Delete.” Take care to pause and review your text m essage, e-m ail, or
docum ent before you consider it com plete. Here is a quick electronic com m unication
do/ don’t list to keep in m ind before you click “send.”
Do rem em ber the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Everything you access via an em ployer’s system is subject to inspection.
Everything you write or record reflects you and your business or organization, even if it
is stored in a Google or Yahoo! account.
Respect personal space by not forwarding every e-m ail you think is funny.
Use a concise but relevant and inform ative phrase for the subject line.
E-m ail the receiver before sending large attachm ents, as they m ay exceed the lim it of the
receiver’s in-box.
Attach your intended attachm ents.
Ke y Take aw ay
An appropriate business writing style can be form al or inform al, depending on the
context, but it should always reflect favorably on the writer and the organization.
Exe rcis e s
1. Select at least three exam ples of writing from different kinds of sources, such as a
governm ent Web site, a textbook, a popular m agazine, and a novel. According to the
style characteristics discussed in this section, how would you characterize the style of
each? Select a paragraph to rewrite in a different style—for exam ple, if the style is form al,
m ake it inform al; if the selection is written in active voice, m ake it passive. Discuss your
results with your classm ates.
2. What are som e qualities of a good business writing style? What m akes certain styles
m ore appropriate for business than others? Discuss your thoughts with a classm ate.
3. Find an exam ple of formal writing and write an inform al version. Please share with your
classm ates.
4. Find an exam ple of inform al writing and write a form al version. Please share with your
classm ates
5. You are assigned to a work team that has to com e up with a form al declaration and an
inform al explanation for the declaration. The declaration could be a m em o indicating
that your business will be observing a holiday (each team should have a different
holiday).
6. How would you characterize your writing style? Do you need to m ake m odifications to
m ake your style suitable for business writing? Write a one- to two-page essay on this
subject.
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[1] Bailey, E. P. (20 0 8). Plain English at w ork: A guide to business w riting and
speaking. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
[2] McLean, S. (20 0 3). The basics of speech com m unication. Boston, MA: Allyn &
Bacon.
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11.3 Ma kin g an Argu m e n t
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Dem onstrate how to form a clear argum ent with appropriate support to persuade your
audience.
2. Recognize and understand inherent weaknesses in fallacies.
According to the fam ous satirist J onathan Swift, “Argum ent is the worst sort of
conversation.” You m ay be inclined to agree. When people argue, they are engaged in
conflict and it’s usually not pretty. It som etim es appears that way because people resort
to fallacious argum ents or false statem ents, or they sim ply do not treat each other with
respect. They get defen sive, try to prove their own points, and fail to listen to each other.
But this should not be what happens in written argum ent. Instead, when you m ake an
argum ent in your writing, you will want to present your position with logical points,
supporting each point with appropriate sources. You will want to give your audience
every reason to perceive you as ethical and trustworthy. Your audience will expect you to
treat them with respect, and to present your argum ent in a way that does not m ake them
defensive. Contribute to your credibility by building sound argum ents and using
strategic argum ents with skill and planning.
In this section we will briefly discuss the classic form of an argum ent, a m ore m odern
interpretation, and finally seven basic argum ents you m ay choose to use. Im agine that
these are tools in your toolbox and that you want to know how each is effectively used.
Know that the people who try to persuade you—from telem arketers to politicians—
usually have these tools at hand.
Let’s start with a classical rhetorical strategy. It asks the rhetorician, speaker, or author
to fram e argum ents in the following steps:
Table 11.7
Classical Rhetorical Strategy
1. Exordium
Prepares the audience to consider your argum ent
2. Narration
Provides the audience with the necessary background or context for your
argum ent
3. Proposition
Introduces your claim being argued in the document
4. Confirm ation Offers the audience evidence to support your argum ent
5. Refutation
Introduces to the audience and then discounts or refutes the counterargum ents
or objections
6. Peroration
Your conclusion of your argum ent
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This is a standard pattern in rhetoric and you will probably see it in both speech and
English courses. The pattern is useful to guide you in preparing your docum ent and can
serve as a valuable checklist to insure you are prepared. While this form al pattern has
distinct advantages, you m ay not see it used exactly as indicated here on a daily basis.
What m ay be m ore fam iliar to you is Stephen Toulm in’s rhetorical strategy, which
focuses on three m ain elem ents (see Table 11.8 "Toulm in’s Three-Part Rhetorical
Strategy"). [1]
Table 11.8 Toulm in’s Three-Part Rhetorical Strategy
Ele m e n t
D e s criptio n
Exam p le
1. Claim
Your statem ent of belief or truth
It is important to spay or neuter your pet.
2. Data
Your supporting reasons for the claim
Millions of unwanted pets are euthanized
every year.
Pets that are spayed or neutered do not
You create the connection between
reproduce, preventing the production of
3. Warrant
the claim and the supporting reasons
unwanted anim als.
Toulm in’s rhetorical strategy is useful in that it m akes the claim explicit, clearly
illustrates the relationship between the claim and the data, and allows the reader to
follow the writer’s reasoning. You m ay have a good idea or point, but your audience will
want to know how you arrived at that claim or viewpoint. The warrant addresses the
inherent and often unsaid question, “Why is this data so im portant to your topic?” In so
doing, it helps you to illustrate relationships between inform ation for your audience.
Effe ctive Argu m e n tatio n Strate gie s : GAS CAP/ T
Here is a useful way of organizing and rem em bering seven key argum entative strategies:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Argum ent
Argum ent
Argum ent
Argum ent
Argum ent
Argum ent
Argum ent
by Generalization
by Analogy
by Sign
by Consequence
by Authority
by Principle
by Testimony
Richard Fulkerson notes that a single strategy is sufficient to m ake an argum ent som e of
the tim e, but it is often better to com bine several strategies to m ake an effective
argum ent. [2] He organized the argum entative strategies in this way to com pare the
differences, highlight the sim ilarities, and allow for their discussion. This m odel, often
called by its acronym GASCAP, is a useful strategy to sum m arize six key argum ents and
is easy to rem em ber. Here we have adapted it, adding one argum ent that is often used in
today’s speeches and presentations, the argum ent by testim ony. Table 11.9 "GASCAP/ T
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Strategies" presents each argum ent, provides a definition of the strategy and an
exam ple, and exam ines ways to evaluate each approach.
Table 11.9 GASCAP/ T Strategies
Argu m e n t
by
G Generalization
A Analogy
S
Sign
C
Cause
Claim
Exam p le
Whatever is
true of a good
exam ple or
sam ple will be
true of
everything like
it or the
population it
cam e from.
Two situations,
things or ideas
are alike in
observable
ways and will
tend to be alike
in m any other
ways
Statistics, facts,
or cases
indicate
m eaning, m uch
like a stop sign
m eans “stop.”
If you can vote, drive, and
die for your country, you
should also be allowed to
buy alcohol.
If two
conditions
always appear
together, they
are causally
related.
A Authority
What a credible
source
indicates is
probably true.
P
An accepted or
proper truth
Principle
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Evalu atio n
STAR System : For it to be
reliable, we need a (S)
sufficient num ber of (T)
typical, (A) accurate, and
(R) reliable exam ples.
Alcohol is a drug. So is
tobacco. They alter
perceptions, have an
im pact physiological and
psychological system s,
and are federally
regulated substances.
Watch for adverbs that end
in “ly,” as they qualify, or
lessen the relationship
between the exam ples.
Words like “probably,”
“m aybe,” “could, “m ay,” or
“usually” all weaken the
relationship.
Motor vehicle accidents
Evaluate the relationship
involving alcohol occur at between the sign and look
significant rates among
for correlation, where the
adults of all ages in the
presenter says what the
United States.
facts “m ean.” Does the sign
say that? Does it say m ore?
What is not said? Is it
relevant?
The U.S. insurance
Watch out for “after the
industry has been
fact, therefore because of
significantly involved in
the fact” (post hoc, ergo
state and national
propter hoc) thinking.
legislation requiring proof There m ight not be a clear
connection, and it m ight
of insurance, changes in
not be the whole picture.
graduated driver’s
licenses, and the national Mothers Against Drunk
Driving m ight have also
change in the drinking
age from age 18 to age 21. been involved with each
exam ple of legislation.
According to the National Is the source legitim ate and
Transportation Safety
is their inform ation
Board, older drivers are
trustworthy? Institutes,
increasingly involved in
boards, and people often
m otor vehicle accidents.
have agendas and distinct
points of view.
The change in the
Is the principle being
drinking age was never
invoked generally
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put to a vote. It’s not
about alcohol, it’s about
our freedom of speech in
a dem ocratic society.
T
Testimony
Personal
experience
I’ve lost friends from age
18 to 67 to alcohol. It
im pacts all ages, and its
effects are cumulative.
Let m e tell you about two
friends in particular.
accepted? Is the claim , data
or warrant actually related
to the principle stated? Are
there com mon exceptions
to the principle? What are
the practical consequences
of following the principle in
this case?
Is the testimony authentic?
Is it relevant? Is it
representative of other’s
experiences? Use the STAR
system to help evaluate the
use of testimony.
Evid e n ce
Now that we’ve clearly outlined several argum ent strategies, how do you support your
position with evidence or warrants? If your prem ise or the background from which you
start is valid, an d your claim is clear and clearly related, the audience will naturally turn
their attention to “prove it.” This is where the relevance of evidence becom es
particularly im portant. Here are three guidelines to consider in order to insure your
eviden ce passes the “so what?” test of relevance in relation to your claim . Make sure
your evidence has the following traits:
1. Supportive. Exam ples are clearly representative, statistics are accurate, testim ony is
authoritative, and inform ation is reliable.
2. Relevant. Exam ples clearly relate to the claim or topic, and you are not com paring
“apples to oranges.”
3. Effective. Exam ples are clearly the best available to support the claim , quality is
preferred to quantity, there are only a few well-chosen statistics, facts, or data.
Ap p e alin g to Em o tio n s
While we’ve highlighted several points to consider when selecting in form ation to
support your claim , know that Aristotle strongly preferred an argum ent based in logic
over em otion. Can the sam e be said for your audience, and to what degree is em otion
and your appeal to it in your audience a part of m odern life?
Em otions are a psychological and physical reaction, such as fear or anger, to stim uli that
we experience as a feeling. Our feelings or em otions directly im pact our own point of
view and readiness to com m unicate, but also influence how, why, and when we say
things. Em otions influence not only how you say or what you say, but also how you hear
or what you hear. At tim es, em otions can be challenging to control. Em otions will m ove
your audience, an d possibly even m ove you, to change or act in certain ways.
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Aristotle thought the best and m ost preferable way to persuade an audience was through
the use of logic, free of em otion. He also recognized that people are often m otivated,
even m anipulated, by the exploitation of their em otions. In a busin ess context, we still
engage in this debate, dem anding to know the facts separate from personal opinion or
agenda, but see the use of em otional appeal to sell products.
Marketing experts are fam ous for creating a n eed or associating an em otion with a
brand or label in order to sell it. You will speak the language of your audience in your
docum ent, and m ay choose to appeal to em otion, but you need to consider how the
strategy works, as it m ay be considered a tool that has two edges.
If we think of the appeal to em otion as a knife, we can see it has two edges. One edge can
cut your audience, and the other can cut you. If you advance an appeal to em otion in
your docum ent on spaying and neutering pets, and discuss the m illions of unwanted
pets that are killed each year, you m ay elicit an em otional response. If you use this
approach repeatedly, your audience m ay grow weary of this approach, an d it will lose its
effectiveness. If you change your topic to the use of anim als in research, the sam e
strategy m ay apply, but repeated attem pts to elicit an em otional response m ay backfire
(i.e., in essence “cutting” you) and produce a negative response called “em otional
resistance.”
Em otional resistance involves getting tired, often to the point of rejection, of hearing
m essages that attem pt to elicit an em otional response. Em otional appeals can wear out
the audience’s capacity to receive the m essage. As Aristotle outlined, ethos (credibility),
logos (logic), and pathos (passion, enthusiasm , and em otional response) constitute the
building blocks of any docum ent. It’s up to you to create a balanced docum ent, where
you m ay appeal to em otion, but choose to use it judiciously.
On a related point, the use of an em otional appeal m ay also im pair your ability to write
persuasively or effectively. For exam ple, if you choose to present an article about suicide
to persuade people against com m itting it and you start showing a photo of your brother
or sister that you lost to suicide, your em otional response m ay cloud your judgm ent and
get in the way of your thinking. Never use a personal story, or even a story of som eone
you do not know, if the inclusion of that story causes you to lose control. While it’s
im portant to discuss relevant topics, you need to assess your relationship to the
m essage. Your docum ents should not be an exercise in therapy. Otherwise, you will
sacrifice ethos and credibility, even your effectiveness, if you “lose it” because you are
really not ready to discuss the issue.
Re co gn izin g Falla cie s
“Fallacy” is another way of saying false logic. Fallacies or rhetorical tricks deceive your
audience with their style, dram a, or pattern, but add little to your docum ent in term s of
substance. They are best avoided because they can actually detract from your
effectiveness. There are several techniques or “tricks” that allow the writer to rely on
style without offering substantive argum ent, to obscure the central m essage, or twist the
facts to their own gain. Table 11.10 "Fallacies" exam ines the eight classical fallacies.
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Learn to recognize them so they can’t be used against you, and learn to avoid using them
with your audience.
Table 11.10 Fallacies
Fallacy
1. Red Herring
D e fin itio n
Any diversion intended to distract
attention from the m ain issue,
particularly by relating the issue to a
com mon fear.
2. Straw Man
A weak argum ent set up to easily
refute and distract attention from
stronger argum ents.
3. Begging the
Question
Claim ing the truth of the very m atter
in question, as if it were already an
obvious conclusion.
4. Circular
Argum ent
The proposition is used to prove
itself. Assum es the very thing it aims
to prove. Related to begging the
question.
Appeals to a com mon belief of som e
people, often prejudicial, and states
everyone holds this belief. Also called
the bandwagon fallacy, as people
“jump on the bandwagon” of a
perceived popular view.
Argum ent against the m an instead of
his m essage. Stating that som eone’s
argum ent is wrong solely because of
som ething about the person rather
than about the argum ent itself.
The conclusion does not follow from
the prem ises. They are not related.
5. Ad Populum
6. Ad Hom inem or
“Argum ent against
the Man”
7. Non Sequitur or
“It Does Not
Follow”
8. Post Hoc Ergo
Propter Hoc or
“After This,
Therefore because
of This”
It is also called a coincidental
correlation.
Exam p le
It’s not just about the death
penalty; it’s about the victim s
and their rights. You wouldn’t
want to be a victim , but if you
were, you’d want justice.
Look at the idea that crim inals
who com m it m urder should be
released after a few years of
rehabilitation. Think of how
unsafe our streets would be then!
We know that they will be
released and unleashed on
society to repeat their crim es
again and again.
Once a killer, always a killer.
Most people would prefer to get
rid of a few “bad apples” and
keep our streets safe.
Our representative is a drunk
and philanderer. How can we
trust him on the issues of safety
and fam ily?
Since the liberal 1960 s, we’ve
seen an increase in convicts who
got let off death row.
Violent death rates went down
once they started publicizing
executions.
Eth ica l Co n s id e ra tio n s in Pe rs u a s io n
In his book Ethics in H um an Com m unication, Richard J ohannesen offers eleven points
to consider when com m unicating. Although they are related to public speaking, they are
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also useful in business writing. You m ay note that m any of his cautions are clearly
related to the fallacies we’ve discussed. His m ain points reiterate m any of the points
across this chapter an d should be kept in m ind as you prepare, and present, your
persuasive m essage. [3]
Do not
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
use false, fabricated, misrepresented, distorted, or irrelevant evidence to support
argum ents or claim s;
intentionally use unsupported, m isleading, or illogical reasoning;
represent yourself as inform ed or an “expert” on a subject when you are not;
use irrelevant appeals to divert attention from the issue at hand;
ask your audience to link your idea or proposal to em otion-laden values, m otives, or
goals to which it is actually not related;
deceive your audience by concealing your real purpose, your self-interest, the group you
represent, or your position as an advocate of a viewpoint;
distort, hide, or m isrepresent the number, scope, intensity, or undesirable features of
consequences or effects;
use em otional appeals that lack a supporting basis of evidence or reasoning;
oversimplify com plex, gradation-laden situations into sim plistic, two-valued, either-or,
polar views or choices;
pretend certainty where tentativeness and degrees of probability would be m ore
accurate;
advocate som ething that you yourself do not believe in.
Aristotle said the m ark of a good person, well spoken, was a clear com m and of the
faculty of observing in any given case the available m eans of persuasion. He discussed
the idea of perceiving the various points of view related to a topic and their thoughtful
consideration. While it’s im portant to be able to perceive the com plexity of a case, you
are not asked to be a lawyer and defend a client.
In your m essage to persuade, consider honesty and integrity as you assem ble your
argum ents. Your audience will appreciate your thoughtful consideration of m ore than
one view and your understanding of the com plexity of the issue, thus building your
ethos, or credibility, as you present your docum ent. Be careful not to stretch the facts, or
assem ble them only to prove your point; instead, prove the argum en t on its own m erits.
Deception, coercion, in tentional bias, m anipulation and bribery should have no place in
your m essage to persuade.
Ke y Take aw ay
The art of argum ent in writing involves presenting supportive, relevant, effective
eviden ce for each point and doing it in a respectful and ethical m anner.
Exe rcis e s
1. Select a piece of persuasive writing such as a newspaper op-ed essay, a m agazine article,
or a blog post. Exam ine the argum ent, the m ain points, and how the writer supports
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them . Which strategies from the foregoing section does the writer use? Does the writer
use any fallacies or violate any ethical principles? Discuss your results with your
classm ates.
2. Find one slogan or logo that you perceive as persuasive and share it with your
classm ates.
3. Find an exam ple of a piece of writing that appears to want to be persuasive, but doesn’t
get the job done. Write a brief review and share it with classm ates.
4. In what ways m ight the choice of how to organize a docum ent involve ethics? Explain
your response and discuss it with your class.
[1] Toulm in, S. (1958). The uses of argum ent. New York, NY: Cam bridge University
Press.
[2] Fulkerson, R. (1996). The Toulm in m odel of argum ent and the teaching of
com position. In E. Barbara, P. Resch, & D. Tenney (Eds.), Argum ent revisited:
argum ent redefined: negotiating m eaning the com position classroom (pp. 45– 72).
Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
[3] J ohannesen, R. (1996). Ethics in hum an com m unication (4th ed.). Prospect Heights,
IL: Waveland Press.
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11.4 Parap h ras e a n d Su m m a ry ve rs u s P la gia ris m
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand the difference between paraphrasing or sum m arizing and plagiarism .
2. Dem onstrate how to give proper credit to sources that are quoted verbatim, and sources
whose ideas are paraphrased or sum m arized.
3. Dem onstrate your ability to paraphrase in one or m ore written assignm ents.
Even if you are writing on a subject you know well, you will usually get additional
inform ation from other sources. How you represent others’ ideas, concepts, and words
is critical to your credibility and the effectiveness of your docum ent. Let’s say you are
reading a section of a docum ent and find a point that relates well to your current writing
assignm ent. How do you represent what you have read in your work? You have several
choices.
One choice is sim ply to reproduce the quote verbatim , or word for word, m aking sure
that you have copied all words and punctuation accurately. In this case, you will put
quotation m arks around the quoted passage (or, if it is m ore than about fifty words long,
inset it with wider m argins than the body of your docum ent) and give credit to the
source. The form at you use for your source citation will vary according to the discipline
or industry of your audience; com m on form ats include APA (Am erican Psychological
Association), MLA (Modern Language Association), and CMS (Chicago Manual of
Style).
Another com m on strategy in busin ess writing is to paraphrase, or rewrite the
inform ation in your own words. You will relate the m ain point, but need to take care not
to copy the original. You will give credit where credit is due, but your citation will be
m ore inform al, such as “A W all Street Journal article dated J uly 8 , 20 0 9, described
som e of the disagreem ents am ong G-8 nations about clim ate change.” Here are several
steps that can help you paraphrase a passage while respecting its original author:
1. Read the passage out loud, paying attention to the complete thought rather than the
individual words.
2. Explain the concept in your own words to a friend or colleague, out loud, face-to-face.
3. Write the concept in your own words, and add one or m ore illustrative exam ples of the
concept that are m eaningful to you.
4. Reread the original passage and see how your version com pares with it in term s of
gram m ar, word choice, exam ple, and conveyance of m eaning.
5. If your writing parrots the original passage or m erely substitutes synonym s for words in
the original, return to step one and start over, remem bering that your goal is to express
the central concepts, not to “translate” one word into another.
6. When you are satisfied that your expression of the concept can stand on its own m erit,
include it in your document and cite the original author as the source of the idea.
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Sum m arizing inform ation is another com m on way of integrating inform ation into your
original work that requires care and attention to detail. To sum m arize is to reduce a
concept, idea, or data set to its m ost basic point or elem ent. You m ay have a literature
survey to sum m arize related inform ation in the field under consideration, or a section
on background to serve a sim ilar purpose. Suppose you are reportin g on a business
situation and it occurs to you that one of Shakespeare’s plays has a plot that resem bles
your situation. You m ay wish to sum m arize the Shakespeare play in a few sentences
before drawing parallels between it and your current situation. This m ay help readers to
rem em ber and understand your report. Regardless of how or where you incorporate a
sum m ary within your docum ent, give attention to its original context and retain its
essential m eaning free of distortion in the new context of your writing.
Because sum m arizing is an act of reductionism , som e of the origin al richness in detail
that surrounds the original will be necessarily lost. Think of a photograph you have
taken in the past that featured several people you know. Using a software program that
allows you to m odify and m anipulate the im age, draw a box around only one face. Delete
the rest of the contents of the photo so only the inform ation in the box rem ains. Part of
the photo is intact, and one person has becom e the focal point for the im age, but the
context has been lost. In the sam e way, if you focus on one statistic, one quote, or one
idea and fail to capture its background you will take the inform ation out of context.
Context is one of the eight com ponents of com m unication, and without it, the process
breaks down. While you cannot retain all the definition and detail of the original context
in a brief sum m ary, effort to represent the essential point within its context is essential
or you risk distortion of the original m eaning.
Unlike quoting or paraphrasing, sum m arizing is som ething you can—and will—also do
to the m aterial you have written. You m ay start your docum ent with a sum m ary of the
background that gives the docum ent purpose. Form al business reports often begin with
an executive sum m ary, and scientific articles usually begin with an abstract; both of
these serve as a brief preview of the inform ation in the full docum ent. You m ay write a
brief internal sum m ary after each m ain discussion point in a lengthy docum ent; this will
serve to rem ind your reader of the discussion to date and to establish the context for the
upcom ing point. Finally, a sum m ary is a very com m on, and often effective, way to
conclude a docum ent. Ending your writing with a sum m ary helps your reader to
rem em ber your m ain points.
Plagiarism is neither paraphrasing nor sum m arizing inform ation from other works.
Plagiarism is representing another’s work as your own. Professional standards, which
are upheld in all fields from architecture to banking to zoology, all involve the elem ents
of authenticity and credibility. Credit is given where credit is due, authorities in the field
are appropriately cited or referenced, and original writing is expected to be exactly that.
Patch writing, or the verbatim cut-and-paste insertion of fragm ents, snippets, or sm all
sections of other publications into your own writing without crediting the sources, is
plagiarism . Wholesale copying of other works is also plagiarism . Both destroy your
professional credibility, and fail to uphold com m on professional standards.
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Colleges and universities have policies against plagiarism , and within business and
industry, the negative im pact on credibility an d careers often exceeds any academ ic
punishm ent. There is n o sham e in quoting som eone else’s work while giving credit, nor
in paraphrasing a point correctly or sum m arizing the research results of a study you did
not perform ; but there are significant consequences to representing other’s ideas as your
own.
Aside from the fear of punishm ent, a skilled business writer should recognize that
intellectual theft is wrong. You m ay be tem pted to borrow a sentence; however, know
your docum ent will be represented in m any ways across tim e, and m ore than one career
has been destroyed by plagiarism discovered years after the fact. The accom plished
business writer should take as a com plim ent the correct citation and reference of their
work. The novice busin ess writer should learn by exam ple but refrain from cut and paste
strategies to com plete a docum ent.
In a world where m ost m odern docum ents are accessible in som e form online, the
ability to cross-referen ce inform ation with a couple of key strokes makes plagiarism a
self-defeating solution when better alternatives exist. Quote and give credit, link to
related docum ents with perm ission, paraphrase and sum m arize with citation, but do not
plagiarize.
Ke y Take aw ay
There is nothing wrong with quoting, paraphrasing, and sum m arizing with credit to
your original source, but presenting som eone else’s work as if it were your own is
plagiarism .
Exe rcis e s
1. Select a piece of writing such as an essay from a Web site, a book chapter, or a newspaper
or m agazine article. Write a paraphrase of a portion of it. Write a brief sum m ary of the
entire piece. Note the difference between the two techniques. Giving credit to the original
piece, discuss your paraphrase and sum m ary with your classm ates.
2. Find an exam ple of an advertisem ent you perceive as particularly effective and write a
one-sentence sum m ary. Share the advertisem ent and your one-sentence sum m ary with
the class.
3. Find an exam ple of an advertisem ent you perceive as particularly ineffective and write a
one-sentence sum m ary. Share the advertisem ent and your one sentence review with the
class.
4. Find a case where plagiarism or m isrepresentation had consequences in the business
world. Share your findings and discuss with classm ates.
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11.5 Ad d itio n al Re s o u rce s
Read an inform ative article about outlines and get a sam ple outline tem plate.
http:/ / www.essaywritinghelp.com / outline.htm
This Writing Tutorials site from J ohn J ay College of Crim in al J ustice offers a m enu of
tools for com posing a thesis statem ent, an outline, well-constructed paragraphs, an d
m ore. http:/ / resources.jjay.cuny.edu/ erc/ writing/ index.php.
This RefDesk.com page offers a com pendium of different resources for English gram m ar
and usage. http:/ / www.refdesk.com / factgram .htm l
Read an article on avoiding bureaucratic language by m arketing strategist David
Meerm an Scott.
http:/ / www.econtentm ag.com / Articles/ ArticleReader.aspx?ArticleID=14538&ContextS
ubtypeID=12
Garbl’s Wordy Phrases presents a list of bureaucratic phrases to avoid and their
standard English alternatives.
http:/ / hom e.com cast.net/ ~garbl/ stylem anual/ phrases.htm
This University of North Carolina site provides a handout on writing argum ents.
http:/ / www.unc.edu/ depts/ wcweb/ handouts/ argum ent.htm l
Read about logic in argum entative writing on Purdue University’s Online Writing Lab
(OWL). http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 659/ 0 1
The College Board Web site provides a robust guide for how to avoid plagiarism .
http:/ / www.collegeboard.com / student/ plan/ college-success/ 10 314.htm l
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Ch apte r 12 Re vis in g an d Pre s e n tin g Yo u r W ritin g
I’m not a very good writer, but I’m an excellent rewriter.
J am es A. Michen er
Half m y life is an act of revision.
J ohn Irving
Ge ttin g Sta rte d
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s
1. Find an article you read online and review it, noting at least one area that would benefit
from revision. Please share your results with classm ates.
2. Exchange draft revisions of a docum ent prepared for a class or work assignm ent with a
classm ate or colleague. Note at least one strength and one area for improvem ent, Provide
feedback to the writer.
One of the hardest tests to pass is the one of peer review. In the academ ic environm ent,
professors conduct research, learn lessons, and share their fin dings by contributing
articles for professional journals. Each academ ic journal article undergoes peer review,
or evaluation by colleagues in the sam e field as the professor who wrote the article.
These evaluations, often conducted by leaders in each field, do not only consider the
value of the writer’s findings. They also evaluate the m echanics of the docum ent
(spelling and gram m ar) and its presentation, organization, and design. The first tim e a
scholar subm its an article for peer review, he or she can expect rejections and liberal use
of the red pen.
You m ay not experience such a rigorous and vigorous review of your writing, but in
m any ways the world of business is equally challenging. Academ ic publications
ultim ately value solid findings that contribute to the field or disciplin e. Business writing
ultim ately values writing that produces results or outcom es in environm ents where you
do not have the luxury of controlling the variables, designing the context, or lim iting the
scope of your inquiry. Your business docum ent will be evaluated by people you never
m et or even anticipated would read it, and errors will have a negative im pact on its
perform ance.
In every career, industry, and profession, today’s business clim ate is a results-oriented
environm ent. Regardless of what you write, there exists the possibility, even probability,
that m isunderstandings and m iscom m unications can and will occur. Although you will
not always have control over the im portance of the ideas you are assigned to
com m unicate in your writing, there is one thing you can control: errors. If you avoid
m istakes, both in the docum ent itself and in the way your audience interprets your
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m essage, your docum ent will have its best chance of success. To this end a thorough
revision is an im portant part of your writing process.
As you review and evaluate docum ents, those written by you and others, you will need to
keep in m in d the three goals of being correct, clear, and concise. Next you will have to
focus on effectiveness and efficiency, recognizing that in a clim ate of increasing
dem an ds and lim ited resources like tim e, you need to get it right the first tim e.
The environm ent of a business writer can be stressful, but it can also be rewarding.
Recognition from your peers—suppliers, internal departm ent colleagues, or custom ers—
can m ake it all worthwhile. Still, the reward in term s of acknowledgem ent m ay com e in
the form of silence. When your docum ent clearly m eets expectations and accom plishes
its goal, the outcom e m ay be the absence of error or m isinterpretation, a rare occasion
that often goes unheralded. As a busin ess writer you need to value your work and note
what works. When it does, take pride in your hard work in effort. You m ay not always be
celebrated for your error-free docum ents that com m unicate concepts and ideas clearly,
but know that they are successful, and their success is your success.
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12 .1 Ge n e ral Re vis io n Po in ts to Co n s id e r
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Discuss the process of revision
2. List three general elem ents of every docum ent that require revision
J ust when you think the production of your docum ent is done, the revision process
begins. Runners often refer to “the wall,” where the lim its of physical exertion are m et
and exhaustion is im m inent. The writing process requires effort, from overcom ing
writer’s block to the intense concentration com posing a docum ent often involves. It is
only natural to have a sense of relief when your docum ent is drafted from beginning to
end. This relief is false confiden ce, though. Your docum ent is not com plete, and in its
current state it could, in fact, do m ore harm than good. Errors, om issions, an d unclear
phrases m ay lurk within your docum ent, waiting to reflect poorly on you when it reaches
your audience. Now is not tim e to let your guard down, prem aturely celebrate, or to
m entally m ove on to the next assignm ent. Think of the revision process as one that
harden s an d strengthens your docum ent, even though it m ay require the sacrifice of
som e hard-earned writing.
General revision requires attention to content, organization, style, and readability.
These four m ain categories should give you a tem plate from which to begin to explore
details in depth. A cursory review of these elem ents in and of itself is insufficient for
even the briefest review. Across this chapter we will explore ways to expand your
revision efforts to cover the com m on areas of weakness and error. You m ay need to take
som e tim e away from your docum ent to approach it again with a fresh perspective.
Writers often juggle multiple projects that are at different stages of developm ent. This
allows the writer to leave one docum ent and return to another without losing valuable
production tim e. Overall, your goal is sim ilar to what it was during your writing
preparation and production: a clear m ind.
Evalu ate Co n te n t
Content is only one aspect of your docum ent. Let’s say you were assigned a report on the
sales trends for a specific product in a relatively new m arket. You could produce a onepage chart com paring last year’s results to current figures and call it a day, but would it
clearly an d concisely deliver content that is useful and correct? Are you supposed to
highlight trends? Are you supposed to spotlight factors that contributed to the increase
or decrease? Are you supposed to include projections for next year? Our list of questions
could continue, but for now let’s focus on content and its relationship to the directions.
Have you in cluded the content that corresponds to the given assignm ent, left any
inform ation out that may be n ecessary to fulfill the expectations, or have you gone
beyond the assignm ent directions? Content will address the central questions of who,
what, where, when, why and how within the range and param eters of the assignm ent.
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Evalu ate Organ iza tio n
Organization is another key aspect of any docum ent. Standard form ats that include an
introduction, body, an d conclusion m ay be part of your docum ent, but did you decide on
a direct or indirect approach? Can you tell? A direct approach will an nounce the m ain
point or purpose at the beginning, while an in direct approach will present an
introduction before the m ain point. Your docum ent m ay use any of a wide variety of
organizing principles, such as chronological, spatial, com pare/ contrast. Is your
organizing principle clear to the reader?
Beyond the overall organization, pay special attention to transitions. Readers often have
difficulty following a docum ent if the writer m akes the com m on error of failing to m ake
one point relevant to the next, or to illustrate the relationships between the points.
Finally, your conclusion should m irror your introduction and not introduce new
m aterial.
Evalu ate Style
Style is created through content and organization, but also involves word choice an d
gram m atical structures. Is your docum ent written in an inform al or form al tone, or does
it present a blend, a m ix, or an awkward m ism atch? Does it provide a coherent and
unifying voice with a professional tone? If you are collaborating on the project with
other writers or contributors, pay special attention to unifying the docum ent across the
different authors’ styles of writing. Even if they were all to write in a professional, form al
style, the docum ent m ay lack a consistent voice. Read it out loud—can you tell who is
writing what? If so, that is a clear clue that you need to do m ore revising in term s of
style.
Evalu ate Re ad ability
Readability refers to the reader’s ability to read and com prehen d the docum ent. A
variety of tools are available to m ake an estim ate of a docum ent’s reading level, often
correlated to a school grade level. If this chapter has a reading level of 11.8, it would be
appropriate for m ost readers in the eleventh grade. But just because you are in grade
thirteen, eighteen, or twenty-one doesn’t m ean that your audience, in their everyday use
of language, reads at a postsecondary level. As a business writer, your goal is to m ake
your writing clear and concise, not com plex and challenging.
You can often use the “Tools” m enu of your word processing program to determ ine the
approxim ate reading level of your docum ent. The program will evaluate the num ber of
characters per word, add in the num ber of words per sentence, an d com e up with a
rating. It m ay also note the percentage of passive sentences, and other inform ation that
will allow you to evaluate readability. Like any com puter-generated rating, it should
serve you as one point of evaluation, but not the only point. Your concerted effort to
choose words you perceive as appropriate for the audience will serve you better than any
com puter evaluation of your writing.
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Ke y Take aw ay
The four m ain categories—content, organization, style, and readability—provide a
tem plate for general revision.
Exe rcis e s
1. Select a docum ent, such as an article from a Web site, newspaper, m agazine, or a piece of
writing you have com pleted for a course. Evaluate the docum ent according to the four
m ain categories described in this section. Could the docum ent benefit from revision in
any of these areas? Discuss your findings with your classm ates.
2. Interview a coworker or colleague and specifically ask how m uch tim e and attention they
dedicate to the revision process of their written work. Compare your results with
classm ates.
3. Find a particularly good exam ple of writing according to the above criteria. Review it and
share it with your classmates.
4. Find a particularly bad exam ple of writing according to the above criteria. Review it and
share it with your classmates.
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12 .2 Sp e cific Re vis io n Po in ts to Co n s id e r
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. List six specific elem ents of every docum ent to check for revision
When revising your docum ent, it can be helpful to focus on specific points. When you
consider each point in turn, you will be able to break down the revision process into
m anageable steps. When you have exam ined each point, you can be confident that you
have avoided m any possible areas for errors. Specific revision requires attention to the
following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Form at
Facts
Nam es
Spelling
Punctuation
Gram m ar
Let’s exam ine these characteristics one by one.
Fo rm at
Form at is an im portant part of the revision process. Form at involves the design
expectations of author and audience. If a letter form at norm ally designates a date at the
top, or the sender’s address on the left side of the page before the salutation, the
inform ation should be in the correct location. Form atting that is m essy or fails to
conform to the com pany style will reflect poorly on you before the reader even starts to
read it. By presenting a docum ent that is properly form atted according to the
expectations of your organization and your readers, you will start off m aking a good
im pression.
Facts
Another key part of the revision process is checking your facts. Did you know that news
organizations and m agazines em ploy professional fact-checkers? These workers are
responsible for exam ining every article before it gets published and consulting original
sources to m ake sure the inform ation in the article is accurate. This can involve m aking
phone calls to the people who were interviewed for the article—for exam ple, “Mr. Diaz,
our report states that you are thirty-nine years old. Our article will be published on the
fifteenth. Will that be your correct age on that date?” Fact checking also involves looking
facts up in encyclopedias, directories, atlases, and other standard reference works; and,
increasingly, in onlin e sources.
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While you can’t be expected to have the skills of a professional fact-checker, you do n eed
to reread your writing with a critical eye to the inform ation in it. Inaccurate content can
expose you and your organization to liability, and will create far m ore work than a
sim ple revision of a docum ent. So, when you revise a docum ent, ask yourself the
following:
•
•
Does m y writing contain any statistics or references that need to be verified?
Where can I get reliable inform ation to verify it?
It is often useful to do indepen dent verification—that is, look up the fact in a different
source from the one where you first got it. For exam ple, perhaps a colleague gave you a
list of closing averages for the Dow J ones Industrial on certain dates. You still have the
list, so you can m ake sure your docum ent agrees with the num bers your colleague
provided. But what if your colleague m ade a m istake? The Web sites of the W all Street
Journal and other m ajor newspapers list closings for “the Dow,” so it is reason ably easy
for you to look up the num bers and verify them indepen dently.
N am e s
There is no m ore em barrassing error in busin ess writing than to m isspell som eone’s
nam e. To the writer, and to som e readers, spelling a nam e “Michelle” instead of
“Michele” m ay seem like a m inor m atter, but to Michele herself it will m ake a big
difference. Attribution is one way we often involve a person’s nam e, and giving credit
where credit is due is essential. There are m any other reasons for in cluding som eone’s
nam e, but regardless of your reasons for choosing to focus on them , you need to m ake
sure the spelling is correct. Incorrect spelling of nam es is a quick way to underm ine your
credibility; it can also have a n egative im pact on your organization’s reputation, and in
som e cases it m ay even have legal ram ifications.
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Sp e llin g
Correct spelling is another elem ent essential for your credibility, and errors will be
glaringly obvious to many readers. The negative im pact on your reputation as a writer,
and its perception that you lack attention to detail or do not value your work, will be
hard to overcom e. In addition to the negative personal consequences, spelling errors can
becom e factual errors and destroy the value of content. This m ay lead you to click the
“spell check” button in your word processing program , but com puter spell-checking is
not enough. Spell checkers have im proved in the years since they were first invented,
but they are not infallible. They can and do m ake m istakes.
Typically, your incorrect word m ay in fact be a word, an d therefore, according to the
program , correct. For exam ple, suppose you wrote, “The m ajor will attend the m eeting”
when you m eant to write “The m ayor will attend the m eeting.” The program would m iss
this error because “m ajor” is a word, but your m eaning would be twisted beyond
recognition.
Pu n ctu atio n
Punctuation m arks are the traffic signals, signs, and indications that allow us to navigate
the written word. They serve to warn us in advance when a transition is com ing or the
com plete thought has com e to an end. A period indicates the thought is com plete, while
a com m a signals that additional elem ents or m odifiers are com ing. Correct signals will
help your reader follow the thoughts through sentences and paragraphs, and enable you
to com m unicate with m axim um efficiency while reducing the probability of error. [1]
Table 12.1 "Punctuation Marks" lists twelve punctuation m arks that are com m only used
in English in alphabetical order along with an exam ple of each.
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Table 12.1 Punctuation Marks
Sym bo l
Apostrophe
Colon
Com m a
Dash
Ellipsis
Exclam ation
Point
Hyphen
Parentheses
Period
Question Mark
Quotation
Marks
Sem icolon
Exam p le
Michele’s report is due tom orrow.
This is what I think: you need to revise your paper.
The report advised us when to sell, what to sell, and where
to find buyers.
— This is more difficult than it seem s—buyers are scarce
when credit is tight.
… Lincoln spoke of “a new nation…dedicated to the
proposition that all m en are created equal.”
!
How exciting!
’
:
,
(
)
.
?
“
”
;
The question is a m any-faceted one.
To answer it (or at least to begin addressing it) we will
need m ore inform ation.
The answer is no. Period. Full stop.
Can I talk you into changing your mind?
The m anager told him , “I will m ake sure Renée is available
to help you.”
Theresa was late to the m eeting; her computer had frozen
and she was stuck at her desk until a tech rep came to fix
it.
It m ay be daunting to realize that the num ber of possible punctuation errors is as
extensive as the num ber of sym bols and constructions available to the author. Software
program m ay catch m any punctuation errors, but again it is the com m itted writer that
m akes the difference. Here we will provide details on how to avoid m istakes with three
of the m ost com m only used punctuation m arks: the com m a, the sem icolon, and the
apostrophe.
Co m m a s
The com m a is probably the m ost versatile of all punctuation m arks. This m eans you as a
writer can use your judgm ent in m any cases as to whether you need a com m a or not. It
also m eans that the possible errors involving com m as are m any. Com m as are necessary
som e of the tim e, but careless writers often place a com m a in a sentence where it is
sim ply not needed.
Com m as are used to separate two independen t clauses joined by a conjunction like
“but,” “and,” and “or.”
Exam p le
The advertising department is effective, but don’t expect m iracles in this business clim ate.
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Com m as are not used sim ply to join two independent clauses. This is known as the
com m a splice error, an d the way to correct it is to insert a conjunction after the com m a.
Exam p le s
The advertising department is effective, the sales departm ent needs to produce m ore results.
The advertising department is effective, but the sales departm ent needs to produce m ore results.
Com m as are used for introductory phrases and to offset clauses that are not essential to
the sentence. If the m eaning would rem ain in tact without the phrase, it is considered
nonessential.
Exam p le s
After the sum m ary of this y ear’s sales, the sales departm ent had good reason to celebrate.
The sales departm ent, last y ear’s w inner of the m ost productive aw ard, celebrated their stellar
sales success this year.
The sales departm ent celebrated their stellar sales success this year.
Com m as are used to offset words that help create unity across a sentence like “however”
and “therefore.”
Exam p le s
The sales departm ent discovered, how ever, that the forecast for next year is challenging.
How ever, the sales departm ent discovered that the forecast for next year is challenging.
Com m as are often used to separate m ore than one adjective m odifying a noun.
Exam p le
The sales departm ent discovered the troublesom e, challenging forecast for next year.
Com m as are used to separate addresses, dates, and titles; they are also used in dialogue
sequences.
Exam p le s
J ohn is from Ancud, Chile.
Katy was born on August 2, 20 0 2.
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Exam p le s
Mackenzie McLean, D. V., is an excellent veterinarian.
Lisa said, “When writing, om it needless words.”
Se m ico lo n s
Sem icolons have two uses. First, they indicate relationships am ong groups of item s in a
series when the individual item s are separated by com m as. Second, a sem icolon can be
used to join two independent clauses; this is another way of avoidin g the com m a splice
error m entioned above. Using a sem icolon this way is often effective if the m eaning of
the two independent clauses is linked in som e way, such as a cause-effect relationship.
Exam p le s
Merchandise on order includes wom en’s wear such as sweaters, skirts, and blouses; m en’s wear
such as shirts, jackets, and slacks; and outwear such as coats, parkas, and hats.
The sales cam paign was successful; without its contributions our bottom line would have been
dism al indeed.
Ap o s tro p h e s
The apostrophe, like the sem icolon, has two uses: it replaces letters om itted in a
contraction, an d it often indicates the possessive.
Because contractions are associated with an inform al style, they m ay not be appropriate
for som e professional writing. The business writer will—as always—evaluate the
expectations an d audience of the given assignm ent.
Exam p le s
It’s great news that sales were up. It is also good news that w e’ve m anaged to reduce our
advertising costs.
When you indicate possession, pay attention to the placem ent of the apostrophe. Nouns
com m only receive “’s” when they are m ade possessive. But plurals that end in “s” receive
a hanging apostrophe when they are m ade possessive, and the word “it” form s the
possessive (“its”) with no apostrophe at all.
Exam p le s
Mackenzie’s sheep are ready to be sheared.
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Exam p le s
The parents’ m eeting is scheduled for Thursday.
We are willing to adopt a dog that has already had its shots.
Gram m ar
Learning to use good, correct standard English gram m ar is m ore of a practice than an
event, or even a process. Gram m ar involves the written construction of m eaning from
words and involves custom s that evolve and adapt to usage over tim e. Because gram m ar
is always evolving, none of us can sit back and rest assured that we “know” how to write
with proper gram m ar. Instead, it is im portant to write and revise with close attention to
gram m ar, keeping in m ind that gram m atical errors can underm in e your credibility,
reflect poorly on your em ployer, and cause m isunderstandings.
J ean Wyrick has provided a list of com m on errors in gram m ar to watch out for, which
we have adapted here for easy reference. [2] In each case, the error is in italics and the
[correct form ] is italicized within square bracket.
Su bje ct-Ve rb Agre e m e n t
The subject and verb should agree on the num ber under consideration. In faulty writing,
a singular subject is som etim es m ism atched with a plural verb form, or vice versa.
Exam p le s
Sales have not been consistent and they doesn’t [do not] reflect your hard work and effort.
The president appreciates your hard work and w ish [w ishes] to thank you.
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Ve rb Te n s e
Verb tense refers to the point in tim e where action occurs. The m ost com m on tenses are
past, present, and future. There is nothing wrong with m ixing tenses in a sentence if the
action is intended to take place at different tim es. In faulty or careless writing, however,
they are often m ism atched illogically.
Exam p le s
Sharon was under pressure to finish the report, so she uses [used] a shortcut to paste in the sales
figures.
The sales departm ent holds a status m eeting every week, and last week’s m eeting w ill be [w as]
at the Garden Inn.
Sp lit In fin itive
The infinitive form of verb is one without a reference to tim e, and in its standard form it
includes the auxiliary word “to,” as in “to write is to revise.” It has been custom ary to
keep the “to” next to the verb; to place an adverb between them is known as splitting the
infinitive. Som e m odern writers do this all the tim e (for exam ple, “to boldly go…”), and
since all gram m ar is essentially a set of custom s that govern the written word, you will
need to understand what the custom is where you work. If you are working with
colleagues trained across the last fifty years, they m ay find split infinitives annoying. For
this reason, it’s often best to avoid splitting an infinitive wherever you can do so without
distorting the m eaning of the sentence.
Exam p le s
The Marketing Department needs assistance to accurately understand our readers [to
understand our readers accurately ].
David pondered how to best revise [how best to revise] the sentence.
D o u ble N e gative
A double negative uses two negatives to com m unicate a single idea, duplicating the
negation. In som e languages, such as Spanish, when the m ain action in the senten ce is
negative, it is correct to express the other elem ents in the sentence negatively as well.
However, in English, this is incorrect. In addition to sounding wrong (you can often hear
the error if you read the sentence out loud), a double negative in English causes an error
in logic, because two n egatives cancel each other out and yield a positive. In fact, the
wording of ballot m easures is often criticized for confusing voters with double negatives.
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Exam p le s
J ohn doesn’t need no [any ] assistance with his sales presentation. [Or John needs no assistance
w ith his sales presentation.]
J eri could not find no [any ] reason to approve the request. [Or Jeri could find no reason to
approve the request.]
Irre gu lar Ve rb s
Most verbs represent the past with the addition of the suffix “ed,” as in “ask” becom es
“asked.” Irregular verbs change a vowel or convert to another word when representing
the past tense. Consider the irregular verb “to go”; the past tense is “went,” not “goed.”
Exam p le s
The need arised [arose] to seek additional funding.
Katy leaped [leapt] onto the stage to introduce the presentation.
Co m m a s in a Se rie s
A com m a is used to separate the item s in a series, but in som e writin g styles the com m a
is om itted between the final two item s of the series, where the conjunction joins the last
and next-to-last item s. The com m a in this position is known as the “serial com m a.” The
serial com m a is typically required in academ ic writing and typically om itted in
journalism . Other writers om it the serial com m a if the final two item s in the series have
a closer logical connection than the other item s. In business writing, you m ay use it or
om it it according to the prevailing style in your organization or industry. Know your
audience an d be aware of the rule.
Exam p le s
Lisa is an am azing wife, m other, teacher, gardener, and editor.
Lisa is an am azing wife, m other teacher, gardener and editor.
Lisa is an am azing teacher, editor, gardener, w ife and m other.
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Fau lty Co m p aris o n s
When com paring two objects by degree, there should be no m ention of “est,” as in
“biggest” as all you can really say is that one is bigger than the other. If you are
com paring three or m ore objects, then “est” will accurately com m unicate which is the
“biggest” of them all.
Exam p le s
Between the twins, Mackenzie is the fastest [faster] of the two.
Am ong our three children, Mackenzie is the tallest.
D an glin g Mo d ifie rs
Modifiers describe a subject in a senten ce or indicate how or when the subject carried
out the action. If the subject is om itted, the m odifier intended for the subject is left
dangling or hanging out on its own without a clear relationship to the sentence. Who is
doing the seeing in the first sentence?
Exam p le s
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, celebrations were in order.
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, w e decided that celebrations were in order.
Mis p lace d Mo d ifie rs
Modifiers that are m isplaced are not lost, they are sim ply in the wrong place. Their
unfortunate location is often far from the word or words they describe, m aking it easy
for readers to m isinterpret the sentence.
Exam p le s
Trying to avoid the deer, the tree hit m y car.
My car hit the tree when I tried to avoid a deer in the road.
Ke y Take aw ay
By revising for form at, facts, nam es, spelling, punctuation, and gram m ar, you can
increase your chances of correcting m any com m on errors in your writing.
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Exe rcis e s
1. Select a news article from a news Web site, newspaper, or m agazine. Find as m any facts
in the article as you can that could require fact-checking. Then check as many of these
facts as you can, using sources available to you in the library and on the Internet. Did you
find any errors in the article? Discuss your findings with your classm ates.
2. Find an exam ple of an assertion without attribution and share it with classm ates.
3. Find an exam ple of an error in a published document and share it with classm ates.
4. Interview a coworker or colleague and specifically ask them to share a story where an
error got past them during the revision process and m ade it to print or publication. How
did they handle it? How m uch tim e did it take to correct? What did they learn from the
experience? Com pare your results with classm ates.
[1] Strunk, W., J r., & White, E. B. (1979). The elem ents of sty le (3rd ed.). New York, NY:
Macm illian.
[2] Wyrick, J . (20 0 8). Steps to w riting w ell (10 th ed.). Boston, MA: Thom son
Wadsworth.
12 .3 Style Re vis io n s
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Discuss and demonstrate the use of twelve points to consider for style revisions.
You know the difference between cloudy and clear water, but can you tell when your
writing is cloudy, when m eaning is hidden in shadows, when the m essage you are trying
to com m unicate is obscured by the style you use to present it? Water filtration involves
rem oving particulates, harm ful inorganic an d organic m aterials, and clarifying the
water. In the sam e way, the revision process requires filtration. You m ay com e across
word choices you thought were appropriate at the tim e or notice words you thought you
wrote but are absent, and the revision process will start to produce results. Som e words
and sentence constructions will be harm ful to the effective delivery and require
attention. Som e transitions fail to show the connections between thoughts and need to
be changed.
Another way of conceptualizing the revision process in general and the clarifying
process specifically is the com m on reference to a diam ond in the rough. Like m uddy
water, diam onds do not com e to have significant value until they have had their rough
edges rem oved, have received expert polish, and been evaluated for clarity. Your
attention to this im portant process will bring the value quotient of your writing up as it
begins to m ore accurately com m unicate inten ded m eaning. As we’ve discussed before,
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now is not the tim e to lose m om entum . J ust the opposite, now is the tim e to m ake your
writing shine.
Here we will discuss several strategies to help clarify your writing style. If you have
m ade wise word choices, the then next step to clarifying your docum ent is to take it
sentence by senten ce. Each sentence should stand on its own, but each senten ce is also
interdependent on all other sentences in your docum ent. These strategies will require
significant attention to detail an d an awareness of gram m ar that m ight not be your area
of strength, but the m ore you practice them the m ore they will becom e good habits that
will enhance your writing.
Bre ak U p Lo n g Se n te n ce s
By revising long senten ces you can often increase the overall clarity of your docum ent.
To do this, let’s start off with one strategy that will produce im m ediate results. Count the
num ber of conjunctions in your docum ent. Word processing program s will often
perform a search for a specific a word and for our use, “and” will do just fine. Sim ple
sentences often becom e com pound and com plex through the use of the word “and.” The
further the subject, the action, and the m odifiers or descriptions are from one another is
directly related to the com plexity of the sentence, in creasing the probability of reader
error and m isunderstandings. Look for the word “and” and evaluate whether the
sentence has two com plete thoughts or ideas. Does it try to join two dissim ilar ideas or
ones better off on their own?
In prose, and your expository writing classes, you m ay have learned that com plex
sentences can com m unicate em otions, settin gs, and scen es that evoke a sense of place
and tim e with your reading audience. In business writing, our goals aim m ore toward
precision and the elim ination of error; a good business docum ent won’t read like a
college essay. A professor m ay have advised you to avoid short, choppy writing. Are we
asking you to do som ething along those lines? No. Choppy writing is hard to follow, but
sim ple, clear writing does the job with a m inim um of fuss and without decoration.
In their best-selling book The Elem ents of Sty le, William Strunk J r. and E. B. White [1]
em phasize clarity as a central goal. However, the following is one of their rules: “Do not
break sentences in two.” As effective business writers we would agree with this rule, and
while it m ay seem to contradict the preceding paragraph, let’s consider what they m ean
by that rule. They encourage writers to avoid sentence fragm ents by refraining from
using a period where the senten ce needs a com m a. That m eans that an indepen dent
clause should be connected to a dependent clause when necessary, and as we’ve
discussed previously, a com m a and a conjunction are appropriate for the task. The
sentence fragm ent cannot stand alone, so we would agree with the rule as written.
But we would also qualify its use: when you have two long and awkward independent
clauses that form an unwieldy senten ce, it m ay in deed be better to divide the clauses
into two independent sentences. Your skill as a business writer is required to balance the
needs of the sentence to com m unicate m eaning with your understanding of audience
expectations, and clarity often involves concise sentences.
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Re vis e Big W o rd s an d Lo n g Ph ra s e s
Big words can clutter your writing with needless jargon that m ay be a barrier to m any
readers. Even if you know your audience has significant education and training in a
field, you m ay need to include defin itions and exam ples as effective strategies to
com m unicate m eaning. Don’t confuse sim ple writing with sim plistic writing. Your task
will alm ost certainly not require an elem entary approach for new readers, but it m ay
very well require attention to words and the degree to which they contribute to, or
detract from , the com m unication of your intended m essage. Long noun sequences, often
used as descriptive phrases, can be one exam ple of how writing can reduce clarity. If you
need to describe a noun, use a phrase that m odifies the noun clearly, with com m as to
offset for exam ple, to enhance clarity.
Another long phrase to watch out for is often located in the introduction. Long
pream bles can m ake the sentence awkward and will require revision. Sentences that
start with “It is” or “There are” can often be shortened or m ade clearer through revision.
Evalu ate Lo n g Pre p o s itio n al P h ras e s
A prepositional phrase is a phrase com posed of a preposition (a “where” word; a word
that indicates location) and its object, which m ay be a noun, a pronoun, or a clause.
Som e exam ples of sim ple prepositional phrases include “with Tom ,” “before m e,” and
“inside the building security perim eter.”
Prepositional phrases are necessary—it would be difficult to write without them —but
som e add to the bottom line word count without adding m uch to the sentence.
Bureaucratic writing often uses this technique in an attem pt to m ake a sentence sound
im portant, but the effort usually has the undesirable dual effects of obscuring m ean ing
and sounding pom pous.
Exam p le s
The 10 40 Form will in all certainty serve the m ajority of our custom ers.
The 10 40 Form will certainly serve the m ajority of our custom ers.
The revision places an adverb in place of a long prepositional phrase and allows for a
reduction in the word count while strengthening the senten ce.
D e le te Re p e titio u s W o rd s
Som e level of repetition is to be expected and can be beneficial. It is also im portant to be
consistent in your use of words when precise term inology is appropriate. However,
needless repetition can m ake your docum ent less than vigorous and discourage readers.
For exam ple, use of the word “said” when attributing dialogue is acceptable a couple of
tim es, but if it is the only word you use, it will lose its im pact quickly. People can
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“indicate,” “point out,” “share,” and “m ention” as easily as they can “say” words or
phrases. Synonym s are useful in avoiding the boredom of repetition.
Elim in ate Arch aic Exp re s s io n s o r Re fe re n ce s
Som e writing has been ritualized to the point of cliché and has lost its im pact. For
exam ple, consider “Heretofore, we have discussed the goal of om itting needless words.”
Heretofore is an outdated word that could easily be cut from the previous sentence.
Another exam ple is “as per your request for docum ents that em phasize clarity and
reduce reader error.” Feel free to elim inate as per y our request from your word choices.
Sim ilar to outdated words an d phrases, som e references are equally outdated. While it is
im portant to recognize leaders in a field, and this text does include references to
pioneers in the field of com m unication, it also focuses on current research and concepts.
Without additional clarification an d exam ples, readers m ay not understand references
to an author long since passed even though he or she m ade an im portant contribution to
the field. For exam ple, Shannon and Weaver pioneered the lin ear m odel of
com m unication that revolutionized our understanding of interaction and contributed to
com puter interfaces as we know them today. [2] However, if we m ention them without
explain ing how their work relates to our current context, we m ay lose our readers.
Sim ilarly, referen ces to film s like My Fair Lady m ay well be less understood than the
use of The Princess Diaries as an exam ple of the transform ative process the lead
characters undergo, from rough, street-sm art wom en to form ally educated, polished
m em bers of the elite.
Avo id Fille rs
Like, you know, like, you know what I m ean, ahh, um m , and all the fillers you m ay use
or hear in oral com m unication have, well, little or no place in the written representation
of the spoken word. Review your writing for extra words that serve the written
equivalent of “like” and om it them . They do not serve you as an author, and do not serve
the reading audience.
Elim in ate Slan g
Many college professors can give exam ples of e-m ails they have received from students
that use all the m odern characteristics of instant m essage and text abbreviation
com bined with a com plete disregard for any n orm s of gram m ar or spelling, resulting in
nearly in com prehensible m essages. If your goal is to be professional, and the audience
expectations do not include the use of slang, then it is inappropriate to include it in your
docum ent. Elim inate slang as you would a jargon term that serves as a barrier to
understanding m eanin g. Not everyone will understand your slang word no m ore than
they would a highly specialized term , and it will defeat your purpose. Norm s for
capitalization an d punctuation that are routinely abandoned in efficient text m essages
or tweets are necessary and required in professional docum ents. Finally, there is no
place in reputable business writing for offensive slang or profanity.
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Evalu ate Clich é s
Clichés are words or phrases that through their overuse have lost their im pact. That
definition does not im ply they have lost their m eaning, and som etim es a well-placed
cliché can com m unicate a m essage effectively. “Actions speak louder than words” is a
cliché, but its five words speak volum es that m any of your readers will recognize. This
appeal to fam iliarity can be an effective strategy to com m unicate, but use it carefully.
Excessive reliance on clichés will m ake your writing trite, while elim inating them
altogether m ay not serve you well either. As an effective business writer, you will need to
evaluate your use of clichés for their im pact versus detraction from your m essage.
Em p h as ize Pre cis e W o rd s
Concrete words that are im m ediately available to your audience are often m ore effective
than abstract term s that require defin itions, exam ples, and qualifications. All these
strategies have their place, but excessive use of abstractions will m ake your docum ent
less than precise, requiring additional clarification that can translate to work for you as
the author and, m ore im portantly, for your readers. Qualifiers deserve special m ention
here. Som e instructors m ay in dicate that words like “m ay,” “seem s,” or “apparently”
m ake your writing weak. Words are just words and it is how we use them that creates
m eaning. Som e qualifiers are necessary, particularly if the docum ent serves as record or
m ay be the point of discussion in a legal issue. In other cases direct language is required,
and qualifiers m ust be elim inated. Too m any qualifiers can weaken your writing, but too
few can expose you to liability. As a business writer, your understanding of audience
expectations and assignm ent requirem ents will guide you to the judicious use of
qualifiers.
Evalu ate Pa ralle l Co n s tru ctio n
When you are writing in a series or have m ore than one idea to express, it is im portant
to present them in sim ilar ways to preserve and prom ote unity across your docum ent.
Parallel construction refers to the use of sam e gram m atical pattern; it can be applied to
words, phrases, and sentences. For exam ple, “We found the sem inar interesting,
entertaining, and in spiring” is a senten ce with parallel construction, whereas “We found
the sem in ar interesting, entertaining, and it inspired us” is not. If your sentences do not
seem to flow well, particularly when you read them out loud, look for m isplaced
parallels and change them to m ake the construction truly parallel.
Obs cu re d Ve rbs
Business writing should be clear an d concise. If the m eaning is obscured, then revision
is required. One com m on problem is the conversion of verbs into nouns with the
addition of suffixes like: -ant,-ent, -ion, -tion, -sion, -ence, -ance, an d ing. Instead of
hiding m eaning within the phrase “through the consolidation of,” consider whether to
use the verb form s “consolidated” or “consolidating.” Sim ilarly, instead of “the inclusion
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of,” consider using “including,” which will likely m ake the senten ce m ore active and
vigorous.
Th e “Is It Pro fe s s io n al?” Te s t
Finally, when revising your docum ent with an attention to detail, you sim ply need to ask
the question: is it professional? If a docum ent is too em phatic, it m ay seem like an
attem pt at cheerleading. If it uses too m uch jargon, it m ay be appropriate for “nerds” but
m ay lim it access to the inform ation by a nontechnical audience. If the docum ent
appears too sim plistic, it m ay seem to be “talking down” to the audience, treating the
readers m ore like children than adults. Does your docum ent represent you and your
organization in a professional m anner? Will you be proud of the work a year from now?
Does it accom plish its m ission, stated objectives, and the audience’s expectations?
Business writing is not expository, wordy, or decorative, and the presence of these traits
m ay obscure m eaning. Business writing is professional, respectful, and clearly
com m unicates a m essage with m inim al breakdown.
Ke y Take aw ay
Revising for style can increase a docum ent’s clarity, conciseness, and professionalism .
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Exe rcis e s
1. Which of the following sentences are exam ples of good business writing in
standard English? For the sentences needing im provem ent, m ake revisions as
you see fit and explain what was wrong with the origin al sentence. Discuss your
results with your classm ates.
1. Caitlin likes gardening, golfing, hiking, and to swim .
2. At any given point in time, well, there is a possibility that we could, like, be called
upon for help.
3. The evaluation of writing can be done through the exam ination and m odification
of each sentence.
4. While in the m eeting, the fire alarm rang.
5. Children benefit from getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and outdoor
playtim e.
6. Yee has asked us to m axim ize the departm ent’s ka-ching by enhancing the blingbling of our m erchandise; if we fail to do this the darn president m ay put the
kibosh on our project.
7. Ortega’s m emo stated in no uncertain term s that all em ployees need to arrive for
work on tim e every day.
8. Although there are m any challenges in today’s m arket and stock values have
dropped considerably since last year, but we can hope to benefit from strategic
thinking and careful decision m aking.
9. If you are unable to attend the m eeting, please let Steve or I know as soon as
possible.
10 . One of the shipping containers are open.
2. Find an exam ple of a good exam ple of effective business writing, review it, and share it
with your classm ates.
3. Find an exam ple of a bad exam ple of effective business writing, review it, and share it
with your classm ates.
4. Revision requires attention to detail, and you m ay be under pressure to produce quality
results within a deadline. How do you com m unicate your need for tim e for the revision
process to those who are waiting on you to com plete the docum ent? Share and discuss
your responses with your classm ates.
[1] Strunk, W., J r., & White, E. B. (1979). The elem ents of sty le (3rd ed.). New York, NY:
Macm illian.
[2] McLean, S. (20 0 5). The basics of interpersonal com m unication. Boston, MA: Allyn
& Bacon.
12 .4 Eva lu atin g th e W o rk o f Oth e rs
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Describe five elem ents of critical analysis to use in evaluating som eone else’s writing.
2. Dem onstrate how to deliver an evaluation constructively and respectfully.
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As an experienced business writer, you m ay be called upon to review others’ work.
Having a clear understanding of the process will help you be efficient in your review,
producing constructive advice that would benefit the essay while resisting change for
change’s sake.
Five Ste p s in Evalu tio n
By following a sequence of orderly steps, you can in crease the likelihood that your
evaluation of som eone else’s writing will be fair, constructive, and useful. Below are the
five steps in evaluation:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Understand the assignment.
Evaluate how well the writing carries out the assignm ent.
Evaluate assertions.
Check facts.
Look for errors.
First, review the instructions that were given to the writer. Make sure you understand
the assignm ent and the target audience. What resources did the writer have access to,
and how m uch tim e was allotted for com pleting the assignm ent? What purpose did the
docum ent need to fulfill, and what role will this docum ent have in future business
activities or decisions?
Second, evaluate how well the docum ent fulfills its stated goals. As a reader, do you see
the goals carried out in the docum ent? If you didn’t know the writer and you were to
find the docum ent n ext year in a file where you were searching for in form ation, would it
provide you with the inform ation it aim s to convey? For exam ple, suppose the docum ent
refers to the sales history of the past five years. Does the writer provide the sales history
for the reader’s referen ce, or in dicate where the reader can get this inform ation?
Evaluate the assertions m ade in the docum ent. An assertion is a declaration, statem ent,
or claim of fact. Suppose the writer indicates that the sales history for the past five years
is a significant factor. Does the writer explain why this history is significant? Is the
explanation logical an d sufficient?
Evaluate the facts cited in the docum ent. Does the writer credit the sources of facts,
statistics, and num bers? For exam ple, suppose the writer m entions that the population
of the United States is approxim ately three hundred m illion. Obviously, the writer did
not count all U.S. residents to arrive at this num ber. Where did it com e from ? If you
have access to sources where you can indepen dently verify the accuracy of these details,
look them up and note any discrepancies.
Finally, check the docum ent for proper form at and for errors in spelling, punctuation,
and gram m ar. Word processing spell checkers do not catch all errors.
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D e live rin g th e Eva lu atio n
If you are asked to evaluate som eone else’s written work, keep in m ind that not everyone
can separate process from product, or product from personality. Many authors,
particularly those new to the writing process, see the written word as an extension of
self. To help the recipient receive your evaluation as professional advice, rather than as
personal criticism , use strategies to be tactful and diplom atic.
Until you know the author and have an established relationship, it is best to use “I”
statem ents, as in “I fin d this sentence difficult to understand.” The sentence places the
em phasis on the speaker rather than the sentence, and further distances the author
from the sentence. If you were to say, “This sentence is awful,” all the author m ay hear
is, “I am an awful writer” and fail to pay attention to your m essage, the sentence under
exam ination, or ways to im prove it. Business writing produces products, and all
products can be im proved, but not all authors can separate m essenger from m essage.
Avoid the use of the word y ou in your evaluation, oral or written, as it can put the
recipient on the defensive. This will inhibit listening and decrease the probability of
effective com m unication. [1] If you phrase an evaluation point as, “Why did you include
this word here?” it can be interpreted as a personal attack. J ust as speakers are often
quite self-conscious of their public speaking abilities, writers are often quite attached to
the works they have produced. Anticipating and respecting this relationship and the
anxiety it som etim es carries can help you serve as a better evaluator.
Phrasing disagreem ent as a question is often an effective response strategy. Let’s
rephrase that previous question to, “What is this senten ce intended to com m unicate?”
This places the em phasis on the sentence, not the author, and allows for dialogue.
Phrasing your evaluation as a question em phasizes your need to understand, and
provides the author with space to respond in a collaborative fashion.
Focus on the docum ent as a product, an “it,” and avoid associating the author or authors
with it. There m ay be tim es when the social rank or status of the individual involved
with work requires respectful consideration, and choosing to focus on the docum ent as a
work in progress, distinct from authors them selves, can serve you well. This also m eans
that at tim es you m ay notice a glaring error but be reluctant to challenge the author
directly as you anticipate a less than collaborative response. By treating the docum ent as
a product, and focusing on ways to strengthen it, keeping in m ind our goals of clear and
concise as referen ce points, you can approach issues without involving personalities.
Ke y Take aw ay
When evaluating the work of others, m ake sure you understand the assignm ent,
evaluate how well the writing carries out the assignm ent, evaluate assertions, check
facts, and watch for errors. Deliver your evaluation with tact and diplom acy.
Exe rcis e s
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1. Select a piece of writing from a Web site, book, newspaper, or m agazine. Im agine that
you are delivering an evaluation to the author of the piece. Using the strategies in this
section, write a tactful and diplom atic critique. Your instructor m ay choose to m ake this
a class exercise, asking students to exchange papers and evaluate each others’ writing.
2. Select a piece of writing from a Web site, book, newspaper, or m agazine. Im agine that
you are editing it half its original length. Share the article and your revised copy with
your classm ates.
3. What responsibility do you have to point out the need for correction in a docum ent when
the author or team leader outranks you at work? Does it m ake a difference if you
anticipate they will take the feedback negatively? How do you reconcile these concerns
with your responsibility to the organization? Share and discuss your responses with your
classm ates.
[1] McLean, S. (20 0 5). The basics of interpersonal com m unication. Boston, MA: Allyn
& Bacon.
12 .5 Pro o fre ad in g an d D e s ign Evalu atio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Understand the difference between revising and proofreading, and how to use
proofreading m arks.
2. Describe six design elem ents for evaluation.
In traditional publishing, proofreading and design are the final stages a book undergoes
before it is published. If the earlier steps of research, organizing, writing, revising, an d
form atting have been done carefully, proofreading and design should go sm oothly. Now
is not the tim e to go back and revise a docum ent’s content, or to experim ent with
changes in form at. Instead, the em phasis is on catching any typographical errors that
have slipped through the revision process, and “pouring” the form at into a design that
will enhance the writer’s m essage.
Pro o fre ad in g
By now you have com pleted a gen eral and specific review of the docum ent, with
attention to detail. You m ay have m ade changes, an d m ost word processing program s
will allow you to track those changes across several versions and authors.
If you work in an environm ent where a docum ent exists as a hard copy during the
revision process, you m ay use or see handwritten proofreading sym bols. Professional
proofreaders often use standard m arkings that serve to indicate where changes n eeded
to be m ade on a physical docum ent. Som e of today’s word processing program s
incorporate m any proofreading sym bols in their m enus. It is useful to be fam iliar with
the various proofreading m arks that were traditionally used to review and revise hard
copy docum ents. Even if you never use the sym bols in a docum ent, your awareness of
them —and the points of em phasis under review—will serve you well. Do you need to
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insert a word, delete a word, capitalize a letter, or start a new paragraph? There are
specific sym bols for each of these actions because the review and revision process has
com m on and consisten t elem ents that need to be addressed.
D e s ign Evalu atio n
If you are asked to review a docum ent, design an elem ent that deserves consideration.
While m ost of our attention has focused on words (i.e., senten ce construction and
com m on errors), design can have a strong im pact on the representation and
presentation of inform ation.
Fram in g
Fram ing refers to how inform ation is presented, in cluding m argin s, line justifications,
and tem plate expectations. J ust as fram e creates a border around a painting,
highlighting part of the im age while hiding the m argins, the fram e of a page influences
how inform ation is received. Margins create space around the edge and help draw
attention to the content. One-inch m argins are standard, but differences in m argin
widths will depen d on the assignm ent requirem ents. A brief letter, for exam ple, m ay
have m argins as wide as two inches so that the body of the letter fills up the stationery in
a m ore balanced fashion. Tem plate expectations are distinct from audience expectation,
though they are often related. Most software program s have tem plates for basic
docum ents, including letters, reports, and résum és.
Tem plates represent the norm ative expectations for a specific type of docum ent.
Tem plates have spaces that establish where a date should be indicated and where
personal contact inform ation should be represented. They also often allow you to “fill in
the blank,” reflecting each docum ent’s basic expectations of where inform ation is
presented.
For exam ple, lin e justification involves where the text lines up on the page. Letters often
have a left justify, lining up the text on the left side of the page while allowing the ends
of each line on the right side to be “ragged,” or not aligned. This creates even spaces
between words and gives the appearance of organization while prom oting white space,
the space on the page free of text. Balance between text (often black) and white space
creates contrast and allows for areas of em phasis. Left justify often produces the
appearance of balance, as the words are evenly spaced, while left and right justify can
produce large gaps between words, m aking the sentences appear awkward and hard to
read.
Typ e fa ce s
Typeface refers to design of sym bols, including letters and num bers. [1] The creation of
the face of the type, as in a typing m achine or printing press, has long been both an art
and a science. In past centuries, carvings of the face of the type in copperplate, where
ink was applied and then pressed to paper, created intricate and intriguing im ages
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design ed to com m unicate style, prestige, status, and form ality with the com m unication
of words and sym bols. We no longer use copper or hot lead type, but the typeface still
exists as a m edium for com m unication in addition to the word itself.
There are two general categories of typeface: serif and sans serif. “Sans” m eans without,
so the em phasis here is on whether the face of the type has a serif or not. A serif is a
sm all cross line, often perpendicular to the stroke of the letter, that is decorative but also
serves the useful purpose of differentiating characters that could otherwise look sim ilar
(e.g., “m ” and “rn,” “d” and “cl,” or “3” an d “8”). For this reason, serif typefaces, such as
Tim es New Rom an and Garam ond, are often easier to read, especially when the font size
is sm all. Sans serif fonts, such as Arial an d Helvetica, lack the serif and can be harder to
read in long text sequences. They are m ost com m only used for headings. However, when
text is to be read electronically (on the screen of a com puter or other device), serifs can
tend to break up, so sans serif typefaces can be a better choice.
The rule of thum b, or com m on wisdom , is to lim it your docum ent to two typefaces,
contrasting sans serif (headings) with text (serif). Take care not to use a font that is hard
to read, creating an unnecessary barrier for your reader. Also, use a font that conveys
the tone of your professional m essage to enhance your effectiveness.
Para grap h s
Paragraphs are the basic organizational unit for presenting and em phasizing the key
points in a docum ent. Effective paragraphs can provide an effective em phasis strategy,
but the placem ent within the page can also influence recall and im pact. The first point
presented is often the second in im portance, the second point is the least im portant, an d
the third point in a series of three is often the m ost im portant. People generally recall
the last point presented, and tend to forget or ignore the content in the m iddle of a
sequence. Use this strategy to place your best point in the m ost appropriate location.
A lengthy docum ent that consists of paragraph after paragraph can becom e
m onotonous, m aking reading a chore and obscuring pieces of inform ation that need to
stand out. To give the docum ent visual variety and to em phasize key inform ation,
consider the following strategies:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Bullets
Numbers
Boldface
Italics
Underlining
Capitalization (all caps)
Rem em ber, however, that using all caps (all capitals) for body text (as opposed to
headings) is often considered rude, like shouting, particularly in electronic
com m unications.
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Vis u a l Aid s
If you have the luxury of including visual aids, such as graphics an d pictures, in your
docum ent, take care to m ake sure that the verbal and visual m essages com plem ent each
other. The visual should illustrate the text, and should be placed near the words so that
the relationship is im m ediately clear. Som etim es during editing, a photograph will get
pushed to the next page, leaving the relevant text behind and creating discontinuity.
This creates a barrier for your reader, so avoid it if possible.
D e s ign in g In te ra ctive D o cu m e n ts
Finally, docum ents in creasingly have an interactivity com ponent that can lead the
reader in m any directions. Providing links can facilitate interactivity, and that depth of
resources can be a distinct advantage when writing docum ents to be read on a
com puter. However, be careful when integrating a web link within your docum ent, as
your audience m ay leave your m essage behin d and not return. If you create a link
associated with clicking on a photograph or icon, m ake sure that the scroll-over m essage
is clear and com m unicates whether the reader will leave the current page. As we have
seen in m any design elem ents, there are stren gths and weaknesses associated with each
option and it requires a skilled business writer to create and deliver an effective
m essage.
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Ke y Take aw ay
Proofreading and design put the finishing touches on a com pleted docum ent.
Exe rcis e s
1. Using proofreading m arks, m ark the errors in the following paragraph:
I never wanted to bacom e a writer, but when I decidedon a career in sales, I
found out that being able to write was a skill that would help m e. So m uch of m y
daily work involved Writing that I som etim es thought i’d fallen asleep and woken
up in som eone else’s life. Messages, about actual sales, were the least of it. In
order to attract custom ers, I have to send notes to people I already knew, asking
them for sales leads. Then when I got a lead, I’ld write to the contact asking for a
few m unutes of their tim e.If I got to m eet with them or even have a phote
conversation, m y n ext task was to write them a thank—you not. Oh, and the
reports-I was always filing out reports; for m y sales m anager, tracking m y
progress with each custom er and each lead. If som eone had tell m e how m uch
writing sails would involve, I think I would of paid m ore attention to m y writing
courses en school.
2. With a writing assignm ent in draft form from your class, swap with a classm ate and
review the spelling, gramm ar, and punctuation, using proofreading m arks where
applicable.
[1] Kostelnick, C., & Roberts, D. (1998). Designing visual language: Strategies for
professional com m unicators. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
12 .6 Ad d itio n al Re s o u rce s
Online Writing Laboratory (OWL) at Purdue University provides a com prehensive guide
to the revision process. OWL is open access, free, and an excellence resource for any
writer. Please feel free to consult it anytim e during our discussion to go m ore in depth
on a gram m atical point or writing tip.
http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 561/ 0 5
Visit this YourDictionary.com page for a useful article about punctuation m arks.
http:/ / www.yourdictionary.com / gram m ar-rules/ Fourteen-Punctuation-Marks.htm l
Visit this site for a useful list of irregular verbs in English.
http:/ / www.englishpage.com / irregularverbs/ irregularverbs.htm l
This site from Capital Com m unity College in Connecticut provides a m enu of English
gram m ar resources. http:/ / gram m ar.ccc.com m net.edu/ gram m ar
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EnglishClub.com is dedicated to English learners an d those for whom English is a
second language—but it can be useful for all of us.
http:/ / www.englishclub.com / gram m ar
The original (1918) edition of the fam ous style guide The Elem ents of Sty le is available
online at Bartleby.com . http:/ / www.bartleby.com / 141
The Writers and Editors site presents an article on tact and tone in editing the work of
others. http:/ / www.writersandeditors.com / tips_ on_ tact_ and_ tone_ 30 80 5.htm
Merriam -Webster provides a chart of proofreader’s m arks and their m eanings.
http:/ / www.m erriam -webster.com / m w/ table/ proofrea.htm
Visit this About.com site for inform ation on designing a docum ent.
http:/ / desktoppub.about.com / od/ designprinciples/ Principles_ of_ Design.htm
For in-depth inform ation on how to present visuals effectively, visit the Web site of
Edward Tufte, a Professor Em eritus at Yale University, where he taught courses in
statistical evidence, inform ation design, and interface design.
http:/ / www.edwardtufte.com / tufte/ index
For a wealth of articles and inform ation about typefaces and other aspects of docum ent
design, explore the Web site of AIGA, the professional association for design.
http:/ / www.aiga.org/ content.cfm / about
Ch apte r 13 Bu s in e s s W ritin g in Actio n
If you call failures experim ents, you can put them in your résum é and claim them as
achievem ents.
Mason Cooley
Volunteer—not so you can build your résum é, but so you can build yourself.
Author Unknown
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Ge ttin g Sta rte d
In tro d u cto ry Exe rcis e s
1. Review the different kinds of com mon business com m unication writing covered by the
m ain headings in this chapter. Make a note of which kinds of docum ents you have
produced in the past and which you have not. For exam ple, have you written m any
m em os but not a business report? Share and compare with classm ates.
2. Conduct an online search for job descriptions associated with your chosen career and
think about what tasks are accomplished in a typical day or week. If possible, also talk to
som eone who is em ployed in that career. Note the kinds of writing skills that are
involved in carrying out job duties or tasks. Share your results with the class.
Business com m unication in written form requires skill and expertise. From text
m essages to reports, how you represent yourself with the written word counts. Writing
in an online environm ent requires tact and skill, and an awareness that what you write
m ay be there forever. From m em os to letters, from business proposals to press releases,
your written business com m unication represents you and your com pany: your goal is to
m ake it clear, concise, and professional.
13 .1 Te xt, E-m a il, an d N e tiqu e tte
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Discuss the role of text messaging in business comm unication.
2. Write effective e-m ails for both internal and external com m unication.
3. Dem onstrate the appropriate use of netiquette.
Text m essages and e-m ails are part of our com m unication landscape, and skilled
business com m unicators consider them a valuable tool to connect. Netiquette refers to
etiquette, or protocols and norm s for com m unication, on the Internet.
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Te xtin g
Whatever digital device you use, written com m unication in the form of brief m essages,
or texting, has becom e a com m on way to connect. It is useful for short exchanges, and is
a convenient way to stay connected with others when talking on the phone would be
cum bersom e. Texting is not useful for long or com plicated m essages, and careful
consideration should be given to the audience.
It is often said that you can tell how old som eone is by how he or she inputs a phone
num ber on a cell phone. If the person uses his or her thum b while holding the digital
device, that person m ay have been raised on video gam es and be adept at one-handed
interfaces. If he holds the digital device with one hand and inputs the num ber with the
other, he m ay be over thirty, or m ay be less com fortable with som e technological
devices. Of course, there is no actual correlation between input and age, but it is a useful
exam ple to use when considering who your audience is when writin g a text m essage. If
the person is a one-hander, and knows all the abbreviations com m on to texting, you
m ay be able to use sim ilar codes to com m unicate effectively. If the person is a twohander, you are better off using fewer words and spelling them out. Texting can be a
great tool for connecting while on the go, but consider your audience and your com pany,
and choose words, term s, or abbreviations that will deliver your m essage.
Tip s fo r Effe ctive Bu s in e s s Te xtin g
•
•
•
•
•
Know your recipient; “? % dsct” m ay be an understandable way to ask a close associate
what the proper discount is to offer a certain custom er, but if you are writing a text to
your boss, it m ight be wiser to write, “what % discount does Murray get on $ 1K order?”
Anticipate unintentional m isinterpretation. Texting often uses symbols and codes to
represent thoughts, ideas, and em otions. Given the com plexity of com m unication, and
the useful but lim ited tool of texting, be aware of its lim itation and prevent
m isinterpretation with brief m essages.
Contacting som eone too frequently can border on harassm ent. Texting is a tool. Use it
when appropriate but don’t abuse it.
Unplug yourself once in awhile. Do you feel constantly connected? Do you feel lost or
“out of it” if you don’t have your cell phone and cannot connect to people, even for fifteen
m inutes? Som etim es being unavailable for a tim e can be healthy—everything in
m oderation, including texting.
Don’t text and drive. Research shows that the likelihood of an accident increases
dram atically if the driver is texting behind the wheel. [1] Being in an accident while
conducting com pany business would reflect poorly on your judgm ent as well as on your
em ployer.
E-m ail
Electronic m ail, usually called e-m ail, is quite fam iliar to m ost students and workers. It
m ay be used like text, or synchronous chat, and it can be delivered to a cell phone. In
business, it has largely replaced print hard copy letters for external (outside the
com pany) correspondence, as well as taking the place of m em os for internal (within the
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com pany) com m unication. [2] E-m ail can be very useful for m essages that have slightly
m ore content than a text m essage, but it is still best used for fairly brief m essages.
Many businesses use autom ated e-m ails to acknowledge com m unications from the
public, or to rem ind associates that periodic reports or paym ents are due. You m ay also
be assigned to “populate” a form e-m ail in which standard paragraphs are used but you
choose from a m enu of sentences to m ake the wording suitable for a particular
transaction.
E-m ails m ay be inform al in personal contexts, but business com m unication requires
attention to detail, awareness that your e-m ail reflects you and your com pany, an d a
professional tone so that it m ay be forwarded to any third party if needed. E-m ail often
serves to exchange inform ation within organizations. Although e-m ail m ay have an
inform al feel, rem em ber that when used for business, it needs to convey professionalism
and respect. Never write or send anything that you wouldn’t want read in public or in
front of your com pany president.
Tip s fo r Effe ctive Bu s in e s s E-m a ils
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Proper salutations should dem onstrate respect and avoid m ix-ups in case a m essage is
accidentally sent to the wrong recipient. For exam ple, use a salutation like “Dear Ms. X”
(external) or “Hi Barry” (internal).
Subject lines should be clear, brief, and specific. This helps the recipient understand the
essence of the m essage. For exam ple, “Proposal attached” or “Your question of 10 / 25.”
Close with a signature. Identify yourself by creating a signature block that autom atically
contains your nam e and business contact inform ation.
Avoid abbreviations. An e-m ail is not a text m essage, and the audience m ay not find your
wit cause to ROTFLOL (roll on the floor laughing out loud).
Be brief. Om it unnecessary words.
Use a good form at. Include line breaks between sentences or divide your m essage into
brief paragraphs for ease of reading. A good e-m ail should get to the point and conclude
in three sm all paragraphs or less.
Reread, revise, and review. Catch and correct spelling and gram m ar m istakes before you
press “send.” It will take m ore tim e and effort to undo the problem s caused by a hasty,
poorly written e-m ail than to get it right the first tim e.
Reply promptly. Watch out for an em otional response—never reply in anger—but m ake a
habit of replying to all e-m ails within twenty-four hours, even if only to say that you will
provide the requested inform ation in forty-eight or seventy-two hours.
Use “Reply All” sparingly. Do not send your reply to everyone who received the initial em ail unless your m essage absolutely needs to be read by the entire group.
Avoid using all caps. Capital letters are used on the Internet to com m unicate em phatic
em otion or yelling and are considered rude.
Test links. If you include a link, test it to m ake sure it is com plete.
E-m ail ahead of tim e if you are going to attach large files (audio and visual files are often
quite large) to prevent exceeding the recipient’s mailbox lim it or triggering the spam
filter.
Give feedback or follow up. If you don’t get a response in twenty-four hours, e-m ail or
call. Spam filters m ay have intercepted your m essage, so your recipient m ay never have
received it.
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Let’s look at two exam ples of business e-m ail. In Figure 13.1, we have an e-m ail form . In
Figure 13.2, we have a letter written specifically for the situation and audience.
Figure 13.1
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Figure 13.2
N e tiqu e tte
We create personal pages, post m essages, and interact via m ediated technologies as a
norm al part of our careers, but how we conduct ourselves can leave a lasting im age,
literally. The photograph you posted on your MySpace page m ay have been seen by your
potential em ployer, or that nasty rem ark in a post m ay com e back to haunt you later.
Som e fifteen years ago, when the Internet was a new phenom enon, Virginia Shea laid
out a series of ground rules for com m unication online that continue to serve us today.
Virgin ia S h e a’s Ru le s o f N e tiqu e tte
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Rem em ber the hum an on the other side of the electronic com munication.
Adhere to the sam e standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
Know where you are in cyberspace.
Respect other people’s tim e and bandwidth.
Make yourself look good online.
Share expert knowledge.
Keep flam e wars under control.
Respect other people’s privacy.
Don’t abuse your power.
Be forgiving of other people’s m istakes. [3]
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Her rules speak for them selves and rem in d us that the golden rule (treat others as you
would like to be treated) is relevant wherever there is hum an interaction.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
A text m essage is a brief written m essage sent and received using a digital device. It is
useful for inform al, brief, tim e-sensitive com munication.
E-m ail is useful for both internal and external business com m unications. The content
and form atting of an e-m ail m essage should reflect professionalism and follow the rules
of netiquette.
Social customs that exist in traditional, live, hum an interaction also influence the rules
and custom s by which we interact with each other in the online environment.
Exe rcis e s
1. Write a text m essage in your norm al use of language. It should use all your norm al
abbreviations (e.g., FWIW, IMHO, LOL), even if not everyone understands them .
2. Find an exam ple of an e-m ail that you wish you had never sent or received. Rewrite it to
elim inate the characteristics that you find problem atic. Share it with your classm ates.
3. Choose at least three e-m ails you have sent or received that are good exam ples of
business com m unication. What m akes them good exam ples? Could they be im proved in
any way? Share your suggestions with classm ates.
4. When is e-m ail inappropriate? Why?
5. Find a “flam e war,” or heated discussion in an online forum and note how it is handled.
Compare the results with your classm ates.
6. In your experience, how do people behave when they interact online? Share your
observations with your classm ates.
[1] Houston Chronicle. (20 0 9, Septem ber 23). Deadly distraction: Texting while driving,
twice as risky as drunk driving, should be banned. Houston Chronicle (3 STAR R.O.
ed.), p. B8 . Retrieved from
http:/ / www.chron.com / CDA/ archives/ archive.m pl?id=20 0 9_ 47910 0 6
[2] Guffey, M. (20 0 8). Essentials of business com m unication (7th ed.). Mason, OH:
Thom son/ Wadsworth.
[3] Shea, V. (1994). N etiquette. San Francisco, CA: Albion Books.
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13 .2 Me m o ran d u m s an d Le tte rs
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1.
2.
3.
4.
Discuss the purpose and form at of a m emo.
Understand effective strategies for business m emos.
Describe the fifteen parts of a standard business letter.
Access sample business letters and write a sam ple business letter.
Me m o s
A m em o (or m em orandum , m eaning “rem inder”) is norm ally used for com m unicating
policies, procedures, or related official business within an organization. It is often
written from a one-to-all perspective (like m ass com m unication), broadcasting a
m essage to an audience, rather than a one-on -one, interpersonal com m unication. It m ay
also be used to update a team on activities for a given project, or to inform a specific
group within a com pany of an event, action, or observance.
Me m o Pu rp o s e
A m em o’s purpose is often to inform , but it occasionally in cludes an elem ent of
persuasion or a call to action. All organizations have inform al and form al
com m unication n etworks. The unofficial, inform al com m unication network within an
organization is often called the grapevine, an d it is often characterized by rum or, gossip,
and in nuendo. On the grapevine, one person m ay hear that som eone else is going to be
laid off and start passing the news around. Rum ors change and transform as they are
passed from person to person, and before you know it, the word is that they are shutting
down your entire departm ent.
One effective way to address inform al, unofficial speculation is to spell out clearly for all
em ployees what is goin g on with a particular issue. If budget cuts are a concern, then it
m ay be wise to sen d a m em o explaining the changes that are im m in ent. If a com pany
wants em ployees to take action, they m ay also issue a m em orandum . For exam ple, on
February 13, 20 0 9, upper m anagem ent at the Panasonic Corporation issued a
declaration that all em ployees should buy at least $ 1,60 0 worth of Panasonic products.
The com pany president noted that if everyone supported the com pan y with purchases, it
would benefit all. [1]
While m em os do not n orm ally include a call to action that requires personal spending,
they often represent the business or organization’s interests. They m ay also in clude
statem ents that align business and em ployee interest, and underscore com m on ground
and ben efit.
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Me m o Fo rm at
A m em o has a header that clearly indicates who sent it and who the intended recipients
are. Pay particular attention to the title of the individual(s) in this section. Date and
subject lines are also present, followed by a m essage that contains a declaration, a
discussion, an d a sum m ary.
In a standard writing form at, we m ight expect to see an introduction, a body, and a
conclusion. All these are present in a m em o, and each part has a clear purpose. The
declaration in the open ing uses a declarative sentence to announce the m ain topic. The
discussion elaborates or lists m ajor points associated with the topic, and the conclusion
serves as a sum m ary.
Let’s exam ine a sam ple m em o.
Figure 13.3
Five Tip s fo r Effe ctive B u s in e s s Me m o s
Au d ie n ce Orie n tatio n
Always consider the audience and their needs when preparing a m em o. An acronym or
abbreviation that is known to m anagem ent m ay not be known by all the em ployees of
the organization, and if the m em o is to be posted and distributed within the
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organization, the goal is clear and concise com m unication at all levels with no
am biguity.
Pro fe s s io n a l, Fo rm al To n e
Mem os are often announcem ents, and the person sending the m em o speaks for a part or
all of the organization. While it m ay contain a request for feedback, the announcem ent
itself is linear, from the organization to the em ployees. The m em o m ay have legal
standing as it often reflects policies or procedures, and m ay reference an existing or n ew
policy in the em ployee m anual, for exam ple.
Su bje ct Em p h as is
The subject is norm ally declared in the subject line and should be clear an d concise. If
the m em o is announcing the observance of a holiday, for exam ple, the specific holiday
should be nam ed in the subject line—for exam ple, use “Thanksgiving weekend schedule”
rather than “holiday observance.”
D ire ct Fo rm at
Som e written business com m unication allows for a choice between direct and indirect
form ats, but m em orandum s are always direct. The purpose is clearly announced.
Obje ctivity
Mem os are a place for just the facts, and should have an objective tone without personal
bias, preference, or interest on display. Avoid subjectivity.
Le tte rs
Letters are brief m essages sent to recipients that are often outside the organization. [2]
They are often printed on letterhead paper, and represent the busin ess or organization
in one or two pages. Shorter m essages m ay include e-m ails or m em os, either hard copy
or electronic, while reports tend to be three or m ore pages in length.
While e-m ail and text m essages m ay be used m ore frequently today, the effective
business letter rem ains a com m on form of written com m unication. It can serve to
introduce you to a potential em ployer, announce a product or service, or even serve to
com m unicate feelings and em otions. We’ll exam ine the basic outline of a letter and then
focus on specific products or writing assignm ents.
All writing assignm ents have expectations in term s of language and form at. The
audience or reader m ay have their own idea of what constitutes a specific type of letter,
and your organization m ay have its own form at and requirem ents. This chapter outlines
com m on elem ents across letters, and attention should be directed to the expectations
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associated with your particular writing assignm ent. There are m any types of letters, and
m any adaptations in term s of form and content, but in this chapter, we discuss the
fifteen elem ents of a traditional block-style letter.
Letters m ay serve to in troduce your skills and qualifications to prospective em ployers,
deliver im portant or specific inform ation, or serve as docum entation of an event or
decision. Regardless of the type of letter you need to write, it can contain up to fifteen
elem ents in five areas. While you m ay not use all the elem ents in every case or context,
they are listed in Table 13.1 "Elem ents of a Business Letter".
Table 13.1 Elem ents of a Business Letter
Co n te n t
1. Return Address
2. Date
3. Reference (Re:)
4. Delivery (Optional)
5. Recipient Note
(Optional)
6. Salutation
7. Introduction
Gu id e lin e s
This is your address where som eone could send a reply. If your
letter includes a letterhead with this inform ation, either in the
header (across the top of the page) or the footer (along the bottom
of the page), you do not need to include it before the date.
The date should be placed at the top, right or left justified, five lines
from the top of the page or letterhead logo.
Like a subject line in an e-m ail, this is where you indicate what the
letter is in reference to, the subject or purpose of the docum ent.
Som etim es you want to indicate on the letter itself how it was
delivered. This can m ake it clear to a third party that the letter was
delivered via a specific method, such as certified m ail (a legal
requirem ent for som e types of docum ents).
This is where you can indicate if the letter is personal or
confidential.
A com m on salutation m ay be “Dear Mr. (full name).” But if you are
unsure about titles (i.e., Mrs., Ms., Dr.), you m ay sim ply write the
recipient’s nam e (e.g., “Dear Cam eron Rai”) followed by a colon. A
com m a after the salutation is correct for personal letters, but a
colon should be used in business. The salutation “To whom it m ay
concern” is appropriate for letters of recomm endation or other
letters that are intended to be read by any and all individuals. If
this is not the case with your letter, but you are unsure of how to
address your recipient, m ake every effort to find out to whom the
letter should be specifically addressed. For m any, there is no
sweeter sound than that of their nam e, and to spell it incorrectly
runs the risk of alienating the reader before your letter has even
been read. Avoid the use of impersonal salutations like “Dear
Prospective Custom er,” as the lack of personalization can alienate a
future client.
This is your opening paragraph, and m ay include an attention
statem ent, a reference to the purpose of the docum ent, or an
introduction of the person or topic depending on the type of letter.
An em phatic opening involves using the m ost significant or
im portant elem ent of the letter in the introduction. Readers tend to
pay attention to openings, and it m akes sense to outline the
expectations for the reader up front. J ust as you would preview
your topic in a speech, the clear opening in your introductions
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8. Body
9. Conclusion
10 . Close
11. Signature
12. Preparation Line
13.
Enclosures/ Attachm ents
14. Courtesy Copies or
“CC”
15. Logo/ Contact
Inform ation
establishes context and facilitates comprehension.
If you have a list of points, a series of facts, or a num ber of
questions, they belong in the body of your letter. You m ay choose
organizational devices to draw attention, such as a bullet list, or
sim ply number them . Readers m ay skip over inform ation in the
body of your letter, so make sure you em phasize the key points
clearly. This is your core content, where you can outline and
support several key points. Brevity is important, but so is clear
support for m ain point(s). Specific, m eaningful inform ation needs
to be clear, concise, and accurate.
An em phatic closing m irrors your introduction with the added
elem ent of tying the m ain points together, clearly dem onstrating
their relationship. The conclusion can serve to rem ind the reader,
but should not introduce new inform ation. A clear sum m ary
sentence will strengthen your writing and enhance your
effectiveness. If your letter requests or implies action, the
conclusion needs to m ake clear what you expect to happen. It is
usually courteous to conclude by thanking the recipient for his or
her attention, and to invite them to contact you if you can be of
help or if they have questions. This paragraph reiterates the m ain
points and their relationship to each other, reinforcing the m ain
point or purpose.
“Sincerely” or “Cordially” are standard business closing statem ents.
(“Love,” “Yours Truly,” and “BFF” are closing statem ents suitable
for personal correspondence, but not for business.) Closing
statem ents are norm ally placed one or two lines under the
conclusion and include a hanging com m a, as in Sincerely,
Five lines after the close, you should type your nam e (required)
and, on the line below it, your title (optional).
If the letter was prepared, or word-processed, by som eone other
than the signatory (you), then inclusion of initials is com m on, as in
MJ D or abc.
J ust like an e-m ail with an attachm ent, the letter som etim es has
additional docum ents that are delivered with it. This line indicates
what the reader can look for in term s of docum ents included with
the letter, such as brochures, reports, or related business
docum ents.
The abbreviation “CC” once stood for carbon copies but now refers
to courtesy copies. J ust like a “CC” option in an e-m ail, it indicates
the relevant parties that will also receive a copy of the docum ent.
A form al business letter norm ally includes a logo or contact
inform ation for the organization in the header (top of page) or
footer (bottom of page).
Strate gie s fo r Effe ctive Le tte rs
Rem em ber that a letter has five m ain areas:
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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The heading, which establishes the sender, often including address and date
The introduction, which establishes the purpose
The body, which articulates the m essage
The conclusion, which restates the m ain point and m ay include a call to action
The signature line, which som etim es includes the contact inform ation
A sam ple letter is shown in Figure 13.5 "Sam ple Business Letter".
Figure 13.5 Sam ple Business Letter
Always rem em ber that letters represent you and your com pany in your absence. In
order to com m unicate effectively and project a positive im age,
•
•
•
•
•
be clear, concise, specific, and respectful;
each word should contribute to your purpose;
each paragraph should focus on one idea;
the parts of the letter should form a com plete m essage;
the letter should be free of errors.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
Mem os are brief business docum ents usually used internally to inform or persuade
em ployees concerning business decisions on policy, procedure, or actions.
Letters are brief, print messages often used externally to inform or persuade custom ers,
vendors, or the public.
A letter has fifteen parts, each fulfilling a specific function.
Exe rcis e s
1. Find a m em o from your work or business, or borrow one from som eone you know. Share
it with your classm ates, observing confidentiality by blocking out identifying details such
as the nam e of the sender, recipient, and company. Compare and contrast.
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2. Create a draft letter introducing a product or service to a new client. Post and share with
classm ates.
3. Write a m em o inform ing your class that an upcom ing holiday will be observed. Post and
share with classm ates.
4. Find a business letter (for exam ple, an offer you received from a credit card company or
a solicitation for a donation) and share it with your classm ates. Look for com m on
elem ents and points of difference.
5. Now that you have reviewed a sam ple letter, and learned about the five areas and fifteen
basic parts of any business letter, write a business letter that inform s a prospective client
or custom er of a new product or service.
[1] Lewis, L. (20 0 9, February 13). Panasonic orders staff to buy £ 1,0 0 0 in products.
Retrieved from
http:/ / business.tim esonline.co.uk/ tol/ business/ m arkets/ japan/ article5723942.ece
[2] Bovee, C., & Thill, J . (20 10 ). Business com m unication essentials: a skills-based
approach to vital business English (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ : Prentice Hall.
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13 .3 B u s in e s s Pro p o s a l
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Describe the basic elem ents of a business proposal.
2. Discuss the m ain goals of a business proposal.
3. Identify effective strategies to use in a business proposal.
An effective business proposal inform s and persuades efficiently. It features m any of the
com m on elem ents of a report, but its em phasis on persuasion guides the overall
presentation.
Let’s say you work in a health care setting. What types of products or services m ight be
put out to bid? If your organization is going to expand and needs to construct a new
wing, it will probably be put out to bid. Everything from office furniture to bedpans
could potentially be put out to bid, specifying a quantity, quality, and tim e of delivery
required. J anitorial services m ay also be bid on each year, as well as food services, an d
even m aintenance. Using the power of bidding to lower contract costs for goods and
services is com m on practice.
In order to be successful in business and industry, you should be fam iliar with the
business proposal. Much like a report, with several com m on elem ents and persuasive
speech, a busin ess proposal m akes the case for your product or service.
Business proposals are docum ents designed to m ake a persuasive appeal to the audien ce
to achieve a defined outcom e, often proposing a solution to a problem .
Co m m o n Pro p o s a l Ele m e n ts
Id e a
Effective business proposals are built around a great idea or solution. While you m ay be
able to present your norm al product, service, or solution in an interesting way, you want
your docum ent and its solution to stand out against the background of com peting
proposals. What m akes your idea different or unique? How can you better m eet the
needs of the com pany that other vendors? What m akes you so special? If the purchase
decision is m ade solely on price, it m ay leave you little room to underscore the value of
service, but the sale follow-through has value. For exam ple, don’t consider just the cost
of the unit but also its m aintenance. How can m aintenance be a part of your solution,
distinct from the rest? In addition, your proposal m ay focus on a com m on product
where you can anticipate several vendors at sim ilar prices. How can you differentiate
yourself from the rest by underscoring long-term relationships, dem onstrated ability to
deliver, or the ability to anticipate the com pany’s needs? Busin ess proposals need to
have an attractive idea or solution in order to be effective.
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Trad itio n al Cate go rie s
You can be creative in m any aspects of the business proposal, but follow the traditional
categories. Businesses expect to see inform ation in a specific order, m uch like a résum é
or even a letter. Each aspect of your proposal has its place and it is to your advantage to
respect that tradition and use the categories effectively to highlight your product or
service. Every category is an opportunity to sell, and should reinforce your credibility,
your passion, and the reason why your solution is sim ply the best.
Table 13.2 Business Proposal Form at
Cover Page
Title page with nam e, title, date, and specific reference to request for proposal if
applicable.
Executive
Sum m ary
Like an abstract in a report, this is a one- or two-paragraph sum m ary of the
product or service and how it m eets the requirements and exceeds expectations.
Discuss the history of your product, service, and/ or company and consider
Background focusing on the relationship between you and the potential buyer and/ or sim ilar
companies.
Proposal
The idea. W ho, w hat, w here, w hen, w hy , and how . Make it clear and concise.
Don’t waste words, and don’t exaggerate. Use clear, well-supported reasoning to
dem onstrate your product or service.
Market
Analysis
What currently exists in the m arketplace, including competing products or
services, and how does your solution compare?
Benefits
How will the potential buyer benefit from the product or service? Be clear,
concise, specific, and provide a comprehensive list of im m ediate, short, and longterm benefits to the company.
Tim eline
A clear presentation, often with visual aids, of the process, from start to finish,
with specific, dated benchm arks noted.
Marketing
Plan
Delivery is often the greatest challenge for Web-based services—how will people
learn about you? If you are bidding on a gross lot of food service supplies, this m ay
not apply to you, but if an audience is required for success, you will need a
m arketing plan.
Finance
What are the initial costs, when can revenue be anticipated, when will there be a
return on investm ent (if applicable)? Again, the proposal m ay involve a one-tim e
fixed cost, but if the product or service is to be delivered m ore than once, and
extended financial plan noting costs across tim e is required.
Conclusion
Like a speech or essay, restate your m ain points clearly. Tie them together with a
com mon them and m ake your proposal m em orable.
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Eth o s , P ath o s , an d Lo go s
Ethos refers to credibility, pathos to passion and enthusiasm , and logos to logic or
reason. All three elem ents are integral parts of your business proposal that require your
attention. Who are you and why should we do business with you? Your credibility m ay
be unknown to the potential client and it is your job to reference previous clients,
dem onstrate order fulfillm ent, and clearly show that your product or service is offered
by a credible organization. By association, if your organization is credible the product or
service is often thought to be m ore credible.
In the sam e way, if you are not enthusiastic about the product or service, why should the
potential client get excited? How does your solution stand out in the m arketplace? Why
should they consider you? Why should they continue reading? Passion and enthusiasm
are not only com m unicated through “!” exclam ation points. Your thorough
understanding, and your dem onstration of that understanding, com m unicates
dedication and interest.
Each assertion requires substantiation, each point clear support. It is not enough to
m ake baseless claim s about your product or service—you have to show why the claim s
you m ake are true, relevant, and support your central assertion that your product or
service is right for this client. Make sure you cite sources and in dicate “according to”
when you support your points. Be detailed and specific.
Pro fe s s io n a l
A professional docum ent is a base requirem ent. If it is less than professional, you can
count on its prom pt dism issal. There should be no errors in spelling or gram m ar, and all
inform ation should be concise, accurate, an d clearly referenced when appropriate.
Inform ation that pertains to credibility should be easy to find and clearly relevant,
including contact inform ation. If the docum ent exists in a hard copy form , it should be
printed on a letterhead. If the docum ent is subm itted in an electronic form , it should be
in a file form at that presents your docum ent as you intended. Word processing files m ay
have their form atting changed or adjusted based on factors you cannot control—like
screen size—and inform ation can shift out of place, m aking it difficult to understand. In
this case, a portable docum ent form at (PDF)—a form at for electronic docum ents—m ay
be used to preserve content location and avoid any inadvertent form at changes when it
is displayed.
Effective, persuasive proposals are often brief, even lim ited to one page. “The on e-page
proposal has been one of the keys to m y business success, and it can be invaluable to you
too. Few decision-m akers can ever afford to read m ore than one page when deciding if
they are interested in a deal or not. This is even m ore true for people of a different
culture or language,” said Adnan Khashoggi, a successful m ultibillionaire. [1] Clear an d
concise proposals serve the audience well and lim it the range of inform ation to prevent
confusion.
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Tw o Typ e s o f B u s in e s s P ro p o s als
So licite d
If you have been asked to subm it a proposal it is considered solicited. The solicitation
m ay com e in the form of a direct verbal or written request, but norm ally solicitations are
indirect, open-bid to the public, and form ally published for everyone to see. A request
for proposal (RFP), request for quotation (RFQ), and invitation for bid (IFB) are
com m on ways to solicit business proposals for business, industry, and the governm ent.
RFPs typically specify the product or service, guidelines for subm ission, and evaluation
criteria. RFQs em phasize cost, though service and m aintenance m ay be part of the
solicitation. IRBs are often job-specific in that they encom pass a project that requires a
tim eline, labor, an d m aterials. For exam ple, if a local school district announces the
construction of a new elem entary school, they norm ally have the architect and
engineering plans on file, but need a licensed contractor to build it.
U n s o licite d
Unsolicited proposals are the “cold calls” of business writing. They require a thorough
understanding of the m arket, product and/ or service, and their presentation is typically
general rather than custom er-specific. They can, however, be tailored to specific
businesses with tim e and effort, and the dem onstrated knowledge of specific n eeds or
requirem ent can transform an otherwise generic, brochure-like proposal into an
effective sales m essage. Getting your tailored m essage to your target audience, however,
is often a significant challenge if it has not been directly or indirectly solicited.
Unsolicited proposals are often regarded as m arketing m aterials, intended m ore to
stim ulate interest for a follow-up contact than m ake direct sales. Sue Baugh and Robert
Ham per encourage you to resist the tem ptation to “shoot at every target and hope you
hit at least one.” [2] A targeted proposal is your m ost effective approach, but recognize
the im portance of gaining com pany, service, or brand awareness as well as its
lim itations.
Sam p le Bu s in e s s Pro p o s a l
The Writing Help Tools Center is a com m ercial enterprise, and offers a clear (and free)
exam ple of a business proposal here:
http:/ / www.writinghelptools.com / proposal-sam ple.htm l
Ke y Take aw ay
Business proposals need to target a specific audience.
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Exe rcis e s
1. Click on this link to see a sam ple request for proposal from the Am erican
Institute of Public Accounts.
http:/ / www.aicpa.org/ audcom m ctr/ toolkitsnpo/ Sam pleRFP_ for_ CPA_ Services.
htm
2. Prepare a business proposal in no m ore than two pages. Follow the guidelines provided
in the sample letter for CPA services on the Am erican Institute of Public Accountants
Web site. Do not include actual contact inform ation. J ust as the exam ple has em ployees
nam ed after colors, your (im aginary) company should have contact information that
does not directly link to real businesses or you as an individual. Do not respond to point
12.
3. Search for an RFP (request for proposal) or sim ilar call to bid, and post it to your class.
Compare the results with your classm ates, focusing on what is required to apply or bid.
4. Identify a product or service you would like to produce or offer. List three companies
that you would like to sell your product or service to and learn m ore about them . Post
your findings, m aking the link between your product or service and company needs. You
m ay find the Web site on creating a business plan
(http:/ / www.m yownbusiness.org/ s2/ # 3) useful when completing this exercise.
[1] Riley, P. G. (20 0 2). The one-page proposal: How to get y our business pitch onto one
persuasive page (p. 2). New York, NY: HarperCollins.
[2] Baugh, L. S., & Ham per, R. J . (1995). Handbook for w riting proposals (p. 3). New
York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
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13 .4 Re p o rt
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Discuss the m ain parts of a report.
2. Understand the different types of reports.
3. Write a basic report.
W h at Is a Re p o rt?
Reports are docum ents designed to record and convey inform ation to the reader.
Reports are part of any business or organization; from credit reports to police reports,
they serve to docum en t specific inform ation for specific audiences, goals, or functions.
The type of report is often identified by its prim ary purpose or function, as in an
accident report, a laboratory report, a sales report, or even a book report. Reports are
often analytical, or involve the rational analysis of inform ation. Som etim es they sim ply
“report the facts” with no analysis at all, but still need to com m unicate the inform ation
in a clear an d con cise form at. Other reports sum m arize past events, present current
data, an d forecast future trends. While a report m ay have conclusions, propositions, or
even a call to action, the dem onstration of the analysis is the prim ary function. A sales
report, for exam ple, is not designed to m ake an individual sale. It is, however, supposed
to report sales to date, and m ay forecast future sales based on previous trends. This
chapter is designed to introduce you to the basics of report writing.
Typ e s o f Re p o rts
Reports com e in all sizes, but are typically longer than a page and som ewhat shorter
than a book. The type of report depends on its function. The function of the report is its
essential purpose, often indicated in the thesis or purpose statem ent. The function will
also influence the types of visual content or visual aids, representing words, num bers,
and their relationships to the central purpose in graphic, representational ways that are
easy for the reader to understand. The function m ay also contribute to param eters like
report length (page or word count) or word choice and readability. “Focusing on the
content of your longer business docum ents is not only natural but necessary because
doing so helps ensure com plete, correct inform ation.” [1]
Reports vary by function, and they also vary by style and tradition. Within your
organization, there m ay be em ployer-specific expectations that need to be addressed to
m eet audience expectations. This chapter discusses reports in general term s, focusing
on com m on elem ents and points of distin ction, but reference to sim ilar docum ents
where you work or additional exam ination of specific sam ple reports m ay serve you well
as you prepare your own report.
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In fo rm atio n al o r An alytical Re p o rt?
There are two m ain categories for reports, regardless of their specific function or type.
An inform ational report inform s or instructs and presents details of events, activities,
individuals, or conditions without analysis. An exam ple of this type of “just the facts”
report is a police accident report. The report will note the tim e, date, place, contributing
factors like weather, and identification inform ation for the drivers involved in an
autom obile accident. It does not establish fault or include judgm ental statem ents. You
should not see “Driver was falling down drunk” in a police accident report. Instead, you
would see “Driver failed sobriety tests and breathalyzer test and was transported to the
station for a blood sam ple.” The police officer is not a trained m edical doctor and is
therefore not licensed to m ake defin itive diagnoses, but can collect and present relevant
inform ation that m ay contribute to that diagnosis.
The second type of report is called an an alytical report. An analytical report presents
inform ation with a com prehensive analysis to solve problem s, dem onstrate
relationships, or m ake recom m en dations. An exam ple of this report m ay be a field
report by a Center for Disease Control (CDC) physician from the site of an outbreak of
the H1N1 virus, noting sym ptom s, disease progression, steps taken to arrest the spread
of the disease, and to m ake recom m endations on the treatm ent and quarantine of
subjects.
Table 13.3 "Types of Reports and Their Functions" includes com m on reports that,
depen ding on the audience needs, m ay be inform ational or analytical.
Table 13.3 Types of Reports and Their Functions
Type
1. Laboratory Report
2. Research Report
3. Field Study Report
4. Progress Report
5. Technical Report
6. Financial Report
7. Case Study
8. Needs Assessm ent
Report
9. Comparative
Advantage Report
10 . Feasibility Study
11. Instruction
Manuals
Fu n ctio n
Com m unicate the procedures and results of laboratory activities
Study problem s scientifically by developing hypotheses, collecting
data, analyzing data, and indicating findings or conclusions
Describe one-tim e events, such as trips, conferences, sem inars, as well
as reports from branch offices, industrial and m anufacturing plants
Monitor and control production, sales, shipping, service, or related
business process
Com m unication process and product from a technical perspective
Com m unication status and trends from a finance perspective
Represent, analyze, and present lessons learned from a specific case or
exam ple
Assess the need for a service or product
Discuss competing products or services with an analysis of relative
advantages and disadvantages
Analyze problem s and predict whether current solutions or
alternatives will be practical, advisable, or produced the desired
outcom e(s)
Com m unicate step-by-step instructions on the use of a product or
service
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12. Com pliance
Report
13. Cost-Benefit
Analysis Report
14. Decision Report
15. Benchm ark
Report
16. Exam ination
Report
17. Physical
Description report
18. Literature Review
Docum ent and indicate the extent to which a product or service is
within established compliance param eters or standards
Com m unicate costs and benefits of products or services.
Make recom m endations to m anagem ent and becom e tools to solve
problem s and m ake decisions
Establish criteria and evaluate alternatives by m easuring against the
establish benchm ark criteria
Report or record data obtained from an exam ination of an item or
conditions, including accidents and natural disasters
Describe the physical characteristics of a m achine, a device, or object
Present summ aries of the inform ation available on a given subject
H o w Are Re p o rts Organ ize d ?
Reports vary by size, form at, and function. You need to be flexible and adjust to the
needs of the audience while respecting custom s and guidelines. Reports are typically
organized around six key elem ents:
1. Whom the report is about and/ or prepared for
2. What was done, what problem s were addressed, and the results, including conclusions
and/ or recomm endations
3. Where the subject studied occurred
4. When the subject studied occurred
5. Why the report was written (function), including under what authority, for what reason,
or by whose request
6. How the subject operated, functioned, or was used
Pay attention to these essential elem ents when you consider your stakeholders, or those
who have an interest in the report. That m ay include the person(s) the report is about,
whom it is for, and the larger audience of the business, organization, or industry. Ask
yourself who the key decision m akers are who will read your report, who the experts or
technicians will be, and how executives and workers m ay interpret your words and
im ages. While there is no universal form at for a report, there is a com m on order to the
inform ation. Each elem ent supports the m ain purpose or function in its own way,
playing an im portant role in the representation and transm ission of inform ation.
Table 13.4 Ten Com m on Elem ents of a Report
Page
1. Cover
Ele m e n t
Title and im age
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Fu n ctio n
Like the cover
of a book,
som etim es a
picture, im age,
or logo is
featured to
Exam p le
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2. Title Fly
3. Title Page
4. Table of
Contents
Title only
Label, report, features
title, author, affiliation,
date, and som etim es for
whom the report was
prepared
A list of the m ain parts of
the report and their
respective page numbers
•
5. Abstract
6. Introduction
•
Inform ational
abstract: highlight
topic, m ethods,
data, and results
Descriptive
abstract: (All of the
above without
statem ents of
conclusion or
recomm endations)
Introduces the topic of the
report
Key elem ents of body
include:
7. Body
•
•
•
•
Background
Methodology
Results
Analysis and
Recom m endations
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introduce the
topic to the
reader.
This page is
optional.
Feasibility Study of Oil Recovery
from the X Tarpit Sands Location
Feasibility Study of Oil Recovery
from the X Tarpit Sands Location
Peak Oilm an, X Energy
Corporation Prepared for X
•
•
•
Abstract……1
Introduction……2
Background……3
This report presents the current
status of the X tarpit sands, the
study of oil recoverability, and
the findings of the study with
specific recom m endations.
Oil sands recovery processes
include ways to extract and
separate the bitum en from the
clay, sand, and water that m ake
up the tar sands. This study
analy zes the feasibility of
extraction and separation,
including a com prehensive
cost/ benefits analy sis, w ith
specific recom m endations.
• Background: History of
oil extraction and
separation from tarpit
sands.
• Methodology: Specific
analysis of the site based
on accepted research
m ethods.
• Results: Data from the
feasibility study.
• Analysis and
Recom m endations:
Analysis of the data and
recomm endations based
on that analysis.
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8. Conclusion
Concise presentation of
findings
9. References
Bibliography or Works
Cited
10 . Appendix
Related supporting
m aterials
This portion
clearly indicates
the m ain results
and their
relation to
recomm ended
action or
outcom e.
This part
contains a list
of citations.
This m ay
include m aps,
analysis of soil
sam ples, and
field reports.
Here is a checklist for ensuring that a report fulfills its goals.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10 .
11.
12.
13.
14.
Report considers the audience’s needs
Form at follows function of report
Form at reflects institutional norm s and expectations
Inform ation is accurate, complete, and docum ented
Inform ation is easy to read
Term s are clearly defined
Figures, tables, and art support written content
Figures, tables, and art are clear and correctly labeled
Figures, tables, and art are easily understood without text support
Words are easy to read (font, arrangem ent, organization)
Results are clear and concise
Recom m endations are reasonable and well-supported
Report represents your best effort
Report speaks for itself without your clarification or explanation
Ke y Take aw ay
Inform ational and analytical reports require organization and a clear purpose.
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Exe rcis e s
1. Find an annual report for a business you would like to learn m ore about. Review it with
the previous reading in m ind and provide exam ples. Share and compare with classm ates.
2. Write a report on a trend in business that you’ve observed, and highlight at least the
m ain finding. Draw from your experience as you bring together sources of inform ation to
illustrate a trend. Share and compare with classmates.
[1] Bovee, C., & Thill, J . (20 10 ). Business com m unication essentials: A skills-based
approach to vital business English (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ : Prentice Hall.
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13 .5 Ré s u m é
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Describe the differences am ong functional, reverse chronological, combination, targeted,
and scannable résum és.
2. Discuss what features are required in each type of résum é.
3. Prepare a one-page résum é.
A résum é is a docum ent that sum m arizes your education, skills, talents, em ploym ent
history, and experiences in a clear and concise form at for potential em ployers. The
résum é serves three distinct purposes that define its form at, design, and presentation:
1. To represent your professional inform ation in writing
2. To demonstrate the relationship between your professional inform ation and the problem
or challenge the potential em ployer hopes to solve or address, often represented in the
form of a job description or duties
3. To get you an interview by clearly dem onstrating you m eet the m inim um qualifications
and have the professional background help the organization m eet its goals
An online profile page is sim ilar to a résum é in that it represents you, your background
and qualifications, and adds participation to the publication. People network, link, and
connect in n ew ways via online profiles or professional sites like LinkedIn. In m any
ways, your online profile is an onlin e version of your résum é with connections and
friends on public display. Your MySpace and Facebook pages are also often accessible to
the public, so never post anything you wouldn’t want your em ployer (current or future)
to read, see, or hear. This chapter covers a traditional résum é, as well as the m ore
popular scannable features, but the elem ents and tips could equally apply to your online
profile.
Main Pa rts o f a Ré s u m é
Regardless of the form at, em ployers have expectations for your résum é. They expect it
to be clear, accurate, and up to date. [1] This docum ent represents you in your absence,
and you want it to do the best job possible. You don’t want to be represented by spelling
or gram m atical errors, as they m ay raise questions about your education and attention
to detail. Som eone reading your résum é with errors will only wonder what kind of work
you m ight produce that will poorly reflect on their com pany. There is going to be enough
com petition that you don’t want to provide an easy excuse to toss your résum é at the
start of the process. Do your best work the first tim e.
Résum és have several basic elem ents that em ployers look for, including your contact
inform ation, objective or goal, education and work experience, and so on. Each résum é
form at m ay organize the inform ation in distinct ways based on the overall design
strategy, but all information should be clear, concise, and accurate. [2]
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Co n tact In fo rm atio n
This section is often located at the top of the docum ent. The first elem ent of the contact
inform ation is your nam e. You should use your full, legal nam e even if you go by your
m iddle nam e or use a nicknam e. There will plenty of tim e later to clarify what you prefer
to be called, but all your application docum ents, including those that relate to payroll,
your social security num ber, drug screenings, background checks, fingerprint records,
transcripts, certificates or degrees, should feature your legal nam e. Other necessary
inform ation includes your address, phone num ber(s), and e-m ail address. If you
m aintain two addresses (e.g., a cam pus and a residential address), m ake it clear where
you can be contacted by indicating the prim ary address. For business purposes, do not
use an unprofessional e-m ail address like sexiluvr93@hotm ale.com or
[email protected] . Create a n ew e-m ail account if needed with an address suitable for
professional use.
Figure 13.7 Sam ple Contact Inform ation
Obje ctive
This is on e part of your résum é that is relatively sim ple to custom ize for an individual
application. Your objective should reflect the audience’s need to quickly understand how
you will help the organization achieve its goals.
Figure 13.8 Sam ple Objective
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Ed u catio n
You need to list your education in reverse chronological order, with your m ost recent
degree first. List the school, degree, and grade point average (GPA). If there is a
difference between the GPA in your m ajor courses and your overall GPA, you m ay want
to list them separately to dem onstrate your success in your chosen field. You m ay also
want to highlight relevant coursework that directly relate to the position.
Figure 13.9 Sam ple Education Field
W o rk Exp e rie n ce
List in reverse chronological order your em ploym ent history, in cluding the positions,
com panies, locations, dates, duties and skills dem onstrated or acquired. You m ay
choose to use active, descriptive sentences or bullet lists, but be consistent. Em phasize
responsibilities that in volved budgets, team work, supervision, and custom er service
when applying for positions in business and industry, but don’t let em phasis becom e
exaggeration. This docum ent represents you in your absence, and if inform ation is false,
at a m inim um you could lose your job.
Figure 13.10 Sam ple Work Experience
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Table 13.5
Type
1. Reverse
Chronological
2. Functional
3.
Combination
4. Targeted
5. Scannable
Types of Résum és
Fu n ctio n
Reverse chronological
résum és (also called
reverse tim e order)
focus on work history.
Functional résum és
(also called
competency-based
résum és) focus on
skills.
A com bination résum é
lists your skills and
experience first, then
em ploym ent history
and education.
A targeted résum é is a
custom docum ent that
specifically highlights
the experience and
skills that are relevant
to the job.
A scannable résum é is
specifically form atted
to be read by a scanner
and converted to digital
inform ation.
Ad van tage
Dem onstrates a
consistent work
history
D is ad van tage
It m ay be difficult to
highlight skills and
experience.
Dem onstrates skills
that can clearly link to
job functions or duties
It is often associated with
people who have gaps in
their employm ent history.
Highlights the skills
you have that are
relevant to the job and
provides a reverse
chronological work
history
Points out to the
reader how your
qualifications and
experience clearly
m atch the job duties
Som e employers prefer a
reverse chronological
order.
Increasingly used to
facilitate search and
retrieval, and to
reduce physical
storage costs
Custom docum ents take
additional tim e,
preparation, analysis of
the job announcem ent,
and m ay not fit the
established guidelines.
Scanners m ay not read the
résum é correctly.
You m ay choose to include references at the end of your résum é, though “references
upon request” is com m on. You m ay also be tem pted to extend your résum é to m ore than
one page, but don’t exceed that lim it unless the additional page will feature specific,
relevant inform ation that represents several years of work that directly relates to the
position. The person reading your résum é m ay be sifting through m any applicants an d
will not spend tim e reading extra pages. Use the one-page form at to put your best foot
forward, rem em bering that you m ay never get a second chance to m ake a good first
im pression.
Maxim ize S can n a ble Ré s u m é Co n te n t
U s e Ke y W o rd s
J ust as there are com m on search term s, an d com m on words in relation to each position,
job description, or description of duties, your scannable résum é needs to m irror these
com m on term s. Use of nonstandard term s m ay not stand out, and your indication of
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“m anaged em ployees” m ay not get the sam e attention as the word “supervision” or
“m anagem ent.”
Fo llo w D ire ctio n s
If a job description uses specific term s, refers to com puter program s, skills, or previous
experience, m ake sure you incorporate that language in your scannable résum é. You
know that when given a class assignm ent, you are expected to follow directions;
sim ilarly, the em ployer is looking for specific skills and experience. By m irroring the
em ployer’s language and subm itting your application docum ents in accord with their
instructions, you convey a spirit of cooperation and an understanding of how to follow
instructions.
In s e rt a Ke y W o rd Se ctio n
Consider a brief section that lists com m on words associated with the position as a skills
sum m ary: custom er service, business com m unication, sales, or term s and acronym s
com m on to the business or industry.
Make It Eas y to Re ad
You need to m ake sure your résum é is easy to read by a com puter, including a character
recognition program . That m eans no italics, underlining, shading, boxes, or lines.
Choose a sans serif (without serif, or decorative end) font like Arial or Tahom a that
won’t be m isread. Sim ple, clear fonts that dem onstrate no points at which letters m ay
appear to overlap will increase the probability of the com puter getting it right the first
tim e. In order for the com puter to do this, you have to consider your audience—a
com puter program that will not be able to interpret your unusual font or odd word
choice. A font size of eleven or twelve is easier to read for m ost people, and while the
com puter doesn’t care about font size, the sm aller your font, the m ore likely the
com puter is to m ake the error of com bining adjacent letters.
Prin tin g, P acka gin g an d D e live ry
Use a laser printer to get crisp letter form ation. Inkjet printers can have som e “bleed”
between characters that m ay m ake them overlap, and therefore be m isunderstood. Folds
can m ake it hard to scan your docum ent. E-m ail your résum é as an attachm ent if
possible, but if a paper version is required, don’t fold it. Use a clean, white piece of paper
with black ink; colors will only confuse the com puter. Deliver the docum ent in a nineby-twelve-inch envelope, stiffened with a sheet of cardstock (heavy paper or cardboard)
to help prevent dam age to the docum ent.
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Figure 13.11 Sam ple Form at for Chronological Résum é
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Figure 13.12 Sam ple Form at for Functional Résum é
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Figure 13.13 Sam ple Form at for Scannable Résum é
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Ke y Take aw ay
A résum é will represen t your skills, education, and experience in your absen ce.
Businesses increasingly scan résum és into searchable databases.
Exe rcis e s
1. Find a job announcem ent with specific duties that represents a job that you will be
prepared for upon graduation. Choose a type of résum é and prepare your résum é to
subm it to the em ployer as a class assignm ent. Your instructor m ay also request a
scannable version of your résum é.
2. Conduct an online search for a functional or chronological résum é. Please post and share
with your classm ates.
3. Conduct an online search for job advertisem ents that detail positions you would be
interested in, and note the key job duties and position requirem ents. Please post one
exam ple and share with your classm ates.
4. When is a second page of your résum é justified? Explain.
5. Conduct an online search for resources to help you prepare your own résum é. Please
post one link and a brief review of the Web site, noting what features you found useful
and at least one recom mendation for improvem ent.
[1] Bennett, S. A. (20 0 5). The elem ents of résum é sty le: Essential rules and ey e-opening
advice for w riting résum és and cover letters that w ork. AMACOM.
[2] Sim ons, W., & Curtis, R. (20 0 4). The Résum é.com guide to w riting unbeatable
résum és. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
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13 .6 S ale s Me s s age
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Discuss a basic sales m essage and identify its central purpose
2. Detail the m ain parts of a sales m essage and understand strategies for success
A sales m essage is the central persuasive m essage that intrigues, inform s, persuades,
calls to action, an d closes the sale. Not every sales m essage will m ake a direct sale, but
the goal rem ain s. Whether your sales m essage is em bedded in a letter, represented in a
proposal, or broadcast across radio or television, the purpose stays the sam e.
Sales m essages are often discussed in term s of reason versus em otion. Every m essage
has elem ents of ethos, or credibility; pathos, or passion and enthusiasm ; and logos, or
logic and reason. If your sales m essage focuses exclusively on reason with cold, hard
facts and nothing but the facts, you m ay appeal to som e audience, but certainly not the
m ajority. Buyers m ake purchase decisions on em otion as well as reason, and even if they
have researched all the relevant facts about com peting products, the decision m ay still
com e down to im pulse, em otion, and desire. If your sales m essage focuses exclusively on
em otion, with little or no substance, it m ay n ot be taken seriously. Finally, if your sales
m essage does not appear to have credibility, the m essage will be dism issed. In the case
of the sales m essage, you need to m eet the audience’s needs that vary greatly.
In general, appeals to em otion pique curiosity and get our attention, but som e attention
to reason an d facts should also be included. That doesn’t m ean we n eed to spell out the
technical m anual on the product on the opening sale m essage, but basic inform ation
about design or features, in specific, concrete ways can help an audience m ake sense of
your m essage and the product or service. Avoid using too m any abstract term s or
references, as not everyone will understand these. You want your sales m essage to do
the work, not the audience.
Fo rm at fo r a Co m m o n Sale s Me s s age
A sales m essage has the five m ain parts of any persuasive m essage.
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Table 13.6
Attention
Statem ent
Introduction
Body
Conclusion
Residual
Message
Five Main Parts of a Persuasive Message
Use hum or, novelty, surprise, or the unusual to get attention.
Build interest by appealing to com mon needs and wants, and include a
purpose statem ent to set up expectations.
Establish credibility, discuss attractive features, and compare with
competitors, addressing concerns or potential questions before they are even
considered.
Sum it up and offer solution steps or calls to action, m otivating the audience
to take the next step. The sm aller the step, the m ore likely the audience will
comply. Set up your audience for an effective closing.
Make the sale, m ake them rem em ber you, and make sure your final words
relate to the most im portant inform ation, like a contact phone number.
Ge ttin g Atte n tio n
Your sales m essage will com pete with hundreds of other m essages and you want it to
stand out. [1] One effective way to do that is to m ake sure your attention statem ent(s)
and introduction clearly state how the reader or listener will benefit.
•
•
•
•
Will the product or service save tim e or m oney?
Will it m ake them look good?
Will it entertain them ?
Will it satisfy them ?
Regardless of the product or service, the audience is going to consider first what is in it
for them . A benefit is what the buyer gains with the purchase and is central to your sales
m essage. They m ay gain social status, popularity, sex appeal, or even reduce or
elim inate som ething they don’t want. Your sales m essage should clearly com m unicate
the benefits of your product or service. [2]
Sale s Me s s age Strate gie s fo r Su cce s s
Your product or service m ay sell itself, but if you require a sales m essage, you m ay want
to consider these strategies for success:
1. Start w ith yo u r gre ate s t be n e fit. Use it in the headline, subject line, caption, or
attention statem ent. Audiences tend to rem ember the inform ation from the beginning
and end of a m essage, but have less recall about the m iddle points. Make your first step
count by highlighting the best feature first.
2. Take baby s te p s . One thing at a tim e. Prom ote, inform, and persuade on one product
or service at a tim e. You want to hear “yes” and make the associated sale, and if you
confuse the audience with too m uch inform ation, too m any options, steps to consider, or
related products or service, you are more likely to hear “no” as a defensive response as
the buyer tries not to m ake a m istake. Avoid confusion and keep it simple.
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3. Kn o w yo u r au d ie n ce . The m ore background research you can do on your buyer, the
better you can anticipate their specific wants and needs and individualize your sales
m essage to m eet them .
4. Le ad w ith e m o tio n , fo llo w w ith re as o n . Gain the audience’s attention with dram a,
humor, or novelty and follow with specific facts that establish your credibility, provide
m ore inform ation about the product or service, and lead to your call to action to m ake
the sale.
These four steps can help im prove your sales m essage, and your sales. Invest your tim e
in planning and preparation, and consider the audience’s needs as you prepare your
sales m essage.
Figure 13.14 Sam ple E-m ail Sales Message
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Ke y Take aw ay
A sales m essage com bines em otion and reason, and reinforces credibility, to create
interest in a product or service that leads to a sale.
Exe rcis e s
1. Create your own e-m ail sales m essage in a hundred words or less. Share it with the class.
2. Identify one sales m essage you consider to be effective. Share it with classm ates and
discuss why you perceive it to be effective.
3. Please consider one purchase you m ade recently. What m otivated you to buy and why
did you choose to com plete the purchase? Share the results with your classm ates.
4. Are you more motivated by em otion or reason? Ask ten friends that question and post
your results.
[1] Price, D. (20 0 5, October 30 ). How to com m unicate y our sales m essage so buy ers
take action now ! Retrieved J une 14, 20 0 9, from ezin earticles.com :
http:/ / ezinearticles.com / ?How-To-Com m unicate-Your-Sales-Message-So-Buyers-TakeAction-Now!&id=89569
[2] Winston, W., & Granat, J . (1997). Persuasive advertising for entrepreneurs and
sm all business ow ners: How to create m ore effective sales m essages. New York, NY:
Routledge.
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13 .7 Ad d itio n a l Re s o u rce s
Visit NetLingo for som e com m on texting abbreviations.
http:/ / www.netlingo.com / acronym s.php
The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Purdue University includes an area on e-m ail
etiquette. http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 636/ 0 1
Shea’s Netiquette online is another useful source.
http:/ / www.albion.com / netiquette/ book/ index.htm l
The N ew York Tim es blog “Gadgetwise: Getting Sm art About Personal Technology”
discusses an ever-changing variety of questions related to netiquette.
http:/ / gadgetwise.blogs.nytim es.com
The OWL at Purdue also includes pages on m em o writing and a sam ple m em o.
http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 590 / 0 1;
http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 590 / 0 4
For 642 sam ple letters, from cover letters to com plaints, go to this site.
http:/ / www.4hb.com / letters
Visit this Negotiations.com page for inform ation on writing a request for proposal,
quotation, and inform ation. http:/ / www.negotiations.com / articles/ procurem ent-term s
Visit this site for additional proposal writing tips.
http:/ / www.4hb.com / 0 350 tipwritebizproposal.htm l
TechSoup offers a sam ple Request for Proposal.
http:/ / www.techsoup.org/ toolkits/ rfp/ RFP_ client_ m gm t2.pdf
Your online profile counts as m uch as your résum é.
http:/ / www.npr.org/ tem plates/ story/ story.php?storyId=10 54838 48 &sc=nl&cc=es20 0 90 628
Read a Forbes article on “Ten Ways to Torpedo Your Sales Pitch.”
http:/ / www.forbes.com / 20 0 7/ 0 8/ 0 1/ m icrosoft-ebay-sym antec-en t-salescx_ m f_ 0 80 1byb0 7_ torpedo.htm l
Direct m ail and other sales copy written by Susanna Hutcheson.
http:/ / www.powerwriting.com / port.htm l
Visit this site for tips on how to write a public service announcem ent (PSA).
http:/ / www.essortm ent.com / all/ tiphowtowrite_ rjbk.htm
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The National Institute of J ustice provides guidelines on writing a PSA.
http:/ / www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ nij/ topics/ courts/ restorative-justice/ m arketingm edia/ psa.htm
The AdCouncil provides a range of exam ples.
http:/ / www.adcouncil.org/ default.aspx?id=15
Ch apte r 14 APA an d MLA D o cu m e n tatio n an d Fo rm attin g
14 .1 Fo rm attin g a Re s e a rch P ap e r
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the m ajor com ponents of a research paper written using Am erican Psychological
Association (APA) style.
2. Apply general APA style and form atting conventions in a research paper.
In this chapter, you will learn how to use APA style, the docum entation and form atting
style followed by the Am erican Psychological Association, as well as MLA style, from the
Modern Language Association. There are a few m ajor form atting styles used in
academ ic texts, including AMA, Chicago, and Turabian:
•
•
•
•
•
AMA (Am erican Medical Association) for m edicine, health, and biological sciences
APA (Am erican Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the social
sciences
Chicago—a comm on style used in everyday publications like m agazines, newspapers, and
books
MLA (Modern Language Association) for English, literature, arts, and humanities
Turabian—another comm on style designed for its universal application across all
subjects and disciplines
While all the form atting and citation styles have their own use and applications, in this
chapter we focus our attention on the two styles you are m ost likely to use in your
academ ic studies: APA and MLA.
If you find that the rules of proper source docum entation are difficult to keep straight,
you are not alone. Writing a good research paper is, in and of itself, a m ajor intellectual
challenge. Having to follow detailed citation and form atting guidelin es as well m ay seem
like just one m ore task to add to an already-too-long list of requirem ents.
Following these guidelines, however, serves several im portant purposes. First, it sign als
to your readers that your paper should be taken seriously as a student’s contribution to a
given academ ic or professional field; it is the literary equivalent of wearing a tailored
suit to a job interview. Second, it shows that you respect other people’s work enough to
give them proper credit for it. Finally, it helps your reader fin d additional m aterials if he
or she wishes to learn m ore about your topic.
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Furtherm ore, producing a letter-perfect APA-style paper need not be burdensom e. Yes,
it requires careful attention to detail. However, you can sim plify the process if you keep
these broad guidelines in m ind:
•
•
•
W o rk ah e ad w h e n e ve r yo u can .Chapter 10 "Writing Preparation" includes tips for
keeping track of your sources early in the research process, which will save tim e later on.
Ge t it righ t th e firs t tim e . Apply APA guidelines as you write, so you will not have
m uch to correct during the editing stage. Again, putting in a little extra time early on can
save tim e later.
U s e th e re s o u rce s available to yo u . In addition to the guidelines provided in this
chapter, you m ay wish to consult the APA website at http:/ / www.apa.org or the Purdue
University Online Writing lab at http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu, which regularly updates
its online style guidelines.
Ge n e ral Fo rm attin g Gu id e lin e s
This chapter provides detailed guidelines for using the citation and form atting
conventions developed by the Am erican Psychological Association, or APA. Writers in
disciplines as diverse as astrophysics, biology, psychology, and education follow APA
style. The m ajor com ponents of a paper written in APA style are listed in the following
box.
These are the m ajor com ponents of an APA-style paper:
1. Title page
2. Abstract
3. Body, which includes the following:
Headings and, if necessary, subheadings to organize the content
In-text citations of research sources
4. References page
o
o
All these com ponents m ust be saved in one docum ent, not as separate docum ents.
Title P age
The title page of your paper in cludes the following inform ation:
•
•
•
•
Title of the paper
Author’s nam e
Nam e of the institution with which the author is affiliated
Header at the top of the page with the paper title (in capital letters) and the page num ber
(If the title is lengthy, you m ay use a shortened form of it in the header.)
List the first three elem ents in the order given in the previous list, centered about one
third of the way down from the top of the page. Use the headers and footers tool of your
word-processing program to add the header, with the title text at the left and the page
num ber in the upper-right corner. Your title page should look like the following
exam ple.
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Abs tract
The next page of your paper provides an abstract, or brief sum m ary of your findings. An
abstract does not need to be provided in every paper, but an abstract should be used in
papers that include a hypothesis. A good abstract is concise—about one hundred to one
hundred fifty words—and is written in an objective, im personal style. Your writing voice
will not be as apparent here as in the body of your paper. When writing the abstract,
take a just-the-facts approach, and sum m arize your research question and your findings
in a few senten ces.
In Chapter 11 "Writing", you read a paper written by a student nam ed J orge, who
researched the effectiveness of low-carbohydrate diets. Read J orge’s abstract. Note how
it sum s up the m ajor ideas in his paper without going into excessive detail.
Exe rcis e 1
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Write an abstract sum m arizing your paper. Briefly introduce the topic, state your
findings, an d sum up what conclusions you can draw from your research. Use the word
count feature of your word-processing program to m ake sure your abstract does not
exceed on e hundred fifty words.
Tip
Depending on your field of study, you m ay som etim es write research papers that present
extensive prim ary research, such as your own experim ent or survey. In your abstract,
sum m arize your research question and your findings, and briefly indicate how your
study relates to prior research in the field.
Margin s , Pa gin a tio n , an d H e ad in gs
APA style requirem ents also address specific form atting concerns, such as m argins,
pagination, and heading styles, within the body of the paper. Review the following APA
guidelines.
Use these gen eral guidelines to form at the paper:
1. Set the top, bottom , and side m argins of your paper at 1 inch.
2. Use double-spaced text throughout your paper.
3. Use a standard font, such as Tim es New Rom an or Arial, in a legible size (10 - to 12point).
4. Use continuous pagination throughout the paper, including the title page and the
references section. Page num bers appear flush right within your header.
5. Section headings and subsection headings within the body of your paper use different
types of form atting depending on the level of inform ation you are presenting. Additional
details from J orge’s paper are provided.
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Exe rcis e 2
Begin form atting the final draft of your paper according to APA guidelines. You m ay
work with an existing docum ent or set up a n ew docum ent if you choose. Include the
following:
•
•
•
Your title page
The abstract you created in Note 14.8 "Exercise 1"
Correct headers and page num bers for your title page and abstract
H e ad in gs
APA style uses section headings to organize inform ation, m aking it easy for the reader to
follow the writer’s train of thought and to know im m ediately what m ajor topics are
covered. Depending on the length and com plexity of the paper, its m ajor sections m ay
also be divided into subsections, sub-subsections, and so on. These sm aller sections, in
turn, use different heading styles to indicate different levels of inform ation. In essence,
you are using headings to create a hierarchy of inform ation.
The following heading styles used in APA form atting are listed in order of greatest to
least im portance:
1. Section headings use centered, boldface type. Headings use title case, with im portant
words in the heading capitalized.
2. Subsection headings use left-aligned, boldface type. Headings use title case.
3. The third level uses left-aligned, indented, boldface type. Headings use a capital letter
only for the first word, and they end in a period.
4. The fourth level follows the sam e style used for the previous level, but the headings are
boldfaced and italicized.
5. The fifth level follows the sam e style used for the previous level, but the headings are
italicized and n o t boldfaced.
Visually, the hierarchy of inform ation is organized as indicated in Table 14.1 "Section
Headings".
Table 14.1 Section Headings
Le ve l o f
In fo rm atio n
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
Level 5
Te xt Exam ple
H e art D is e as e
Life s tyle Facto rs Th at Re d u ce
H e art D is e as e Ris k
Exe rcis in g re gu larly.
Aerobic exercise.
Country line dancing.
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A college research paper m ay not use all the heading levels shown in Table 14.1 "Section
Headings", but you are likely to encounter them in academ ic journal articles that use
APA style. For a brief paper, you m ay find that level 1 headings suffice. Longer or m ore
com plex papers m ay n eed level 2 headings or other lower-level headings to organize
inform ation clearly. Use your outline to craft your m ajor section headings and
determ ine whether any subtopics are substantial enough to require additional levels of
headings.
Exe rcis e 3
Working with the docum ent you developed in Note 14.11 "Exercise 2", begin setting up
the heading structure of the final draft of your research paper according to APA
guidelines. Include your title and at least two to three m ajor section headings, an d
follow the form atting guidelines provided above. If your m ajor sections should be
broken into subsections, add those headings as well. Use your outline to help you.
Because J orge used only level 1 headings, his Exercise 3 would look like the following:
Le ve l o f
In fo rm atio n
Level 1
Level 1
Level 1
Level 1
Te xt Exam ple
Pu rp o rte d Be n e fits o f Lo w Carbo h yd rate D ie ts
Re s e arch o n Lo w -Carbo h yd rate D ie ts
an d W e igh t Lo s s
Oth e r Lo n g-Te rm H e alth Ou tco m e s
Co n clu s io n
Citatio n Gu id e lin e s
In -Te xt Citatio n s
Throughout the body of your paper, include a citation whenever you quote or
paraphrase m aterial from your research sources. As you learned in Chapter 10 "Writing
Preparation", the purpose of citations is twofold: to give credit to others for their ideas
and to allow your reader to follow up and learn m ore about the topic if desired. Your intext citations provide basic inform ation about your source; each source you cite will
have a longer entry in the referen ces section that provides m ore detailed inform ation.
In-text citations m ust provide the n am e of the author or authors and the year the source
was published. (When a given source does not list an individual author, you m ay provide
the source title or the nam e of the organization that published the m aterial instead.)
When directly quoting a source, it is also required that you in clude the page num ber
where the quote appears in your citation.
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This inform ation m ay be included within the sentence or in a parenthetical reference at
the end of the sentence, as in these exam ples.
Epstein (20 10 ) points out that “junk food cannot be considered addictive in the sam e
way that we think of psychoactive drugs as addictive” (p. 137).
Here, the writer n am es the source author when introducing the quote and provides the
publication date in parentheses after the author’s nam e. The page num ber appears in
parentheses afte r the closing quotation m arks and be fo re the period that ends the
sentence.
Addiction researchers caution that “junk food cannot be considered addictive in the
sam e way that we think of psychoactive drugs as addictive” (Epstein, 20 10 , p. 137).
Here, the writer provides a parenthetical citation at the end of the sentence that includes
the author’s nam e, the year of publication, an d the page num ber separated by com m as.
Again, the parenthetical citation is placed afte r the closing quotation m arks and
be fo re the period at the end of the sentence.
As noted in the book Junk Food, Junk Science (Epstein, 20 10 , p. 137), “junk food cannot
be considered addictive in the sam e way that we think of psychoactive drugs as
addictive.”
Here, the writer chose to m ention the source title in the senten ce (an optional piece of
inform ation to include) and followed the title with a parenthetical citation. Note that the
parenthetical citation is placed be fo re the com m a that signals the end of the
introductory phrase.
David Epstein’s book Junk Food, Junk Science (20 10 ) pointed out that “junk food
cannot be considered addictive in the sam e way that we think of psychoactive drugs as
addictive” (p. 137).
Another variation is to introduce the author and the source title in your sentence an d
include the publication date and page num ber in parentheses within the sentence or at
the end of the sentence. As long as you have included the essential inform ation, you can
choose the option that works best for that particular sentence and source.
Citing a book with a single author is usually a straightforward task. Of course, your
research m ay require that you cite m any other types of sources, such as books or articles
with m ore than one author or sources with no individual author listed. You m ay also
need to cite sources available in both print an d online an d nonprint sources, such as
websites and personal interviews. Chapter 14 "APA and MLA Docum entation and
Form atting", Section 14.2 "Citing and Referencing Techniques" and Section 14.3
"Creating a Referen ces Section" provide exten sive guidelin es for citin g a variety of
source types.
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W ritin g at W o rk
APA is just one of several different styles with its own guidelines for docum entation,
form atting, and language usage. Depending on your field of interest, you m ay be
exposed to additional styles, such as the following:
•
•
•
MLA s tyle . Determ ined by the Modern Languages Association and used for papers in
literature, languages, and other disciplines in the hum anities.
Ch icago s tyle . Outlined in the Chicago Manual of Sty le and som etim es used for papers
in the hum anities and the sciences; m any professional organizations use this style for
publications as well.
As s o ciate d Pre s s ( AP) s tyle . Used by professional journalists.
Re fe re n ce s Lis t
The brief citations included in the body of your paper correspond to the m ore detailed
citations provided at the end of the paper in the referen ces section. In-text citations
provide basic inform ation—the author’s nam e, the publication date, and the page
num ber if necessary—while the referen ces section provides m ore extensive
bibliographical inform ation. Again, this inform ation allows your reader to follow up on
the sources you cited and do additional reading about the topic if desired.
The specific form at of entries in the list of references varies slightly for different source
types, but the entries generally in clude the following inform ation:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The nam e(s) of the author(s) or institution that wrote the source
The year of publication and, where applicable, the exact date of publication
The full title of the source
For books, the city of publication
For articles or essays, the nam e of the periodical or book in which the article or essay
appears
For m agazine and journal articles, the volum e num ber, issue number, and pages where
the article appears
For sources on the web, the URL where the source is located
The referen ces page is double spaced and lists entries in alphabetical order by the
author’s last nam e. If an entry continues for m ore than one lin e, the second line and
each subsequent line are indented five spaces. Review the following exam ple. (Chapter
14 "APA and MLA Docum entation and Form atting", Section 14.3 "Creating a References
Section" provides extensive guidelin es for form atting reference entries for different
types of sources.)
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Tip
In APA style, book and article titles are form atted in sentence case, n ot title case.
Sentence case m eans that only the first word is capitalized, along with any proper nouns.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
•
Following proper citation and form atting guidelines helps writers ensure that their work
will be taken seriously, give proper credit to other authors for their work, and provide
valuable inform ation to readers.
Working ahead and taking care to cite sources correctly the first tim e are ways writers
can save tim e during the editing stage of writing a research paper.
APA papers usually include an abstract that concisely sum m arizes the paper.
APA papers use a specific headings structure to provide a clear hierarchy of inform ation.
In APA papers, in-text citations usually include the nam e(s) of the author(s) and the year
of publication.
In-text citations correspond to entries in the references section, which provide detailed
bibliographical inform ation about a source.
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14 .2 Citin g an d Re fe re n cin g Te ch n iq u e s
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Apply Am erican Psychological Association (APA) style form atting guidelines for
citations.
This section covers the nitty-gritty details of in-text citations. You will learn how to
form at citations for different types of source m aterials, whether you are citing brief
quotations, paraphrasing ideas, or quoting longer passages. You will also learn
techniques you can use to introduce quoted and paraphrased m aterial effectively. Keep
this section handy as a reference to consult while writing the body of your paper.
Fo rm attin g Cite d Mate rial: Th e B a s ics
As noted in previous sections of this book, in-text citations usually provide the nam e of
the author(s) and the year the source was published. For direct quotations, the page
num ber m ust also be included. Use past-tense verbs when introducing a quote—“Sm ith
found…” and not “Sm ith finds.…”
Fo rm attin g Brie f Qu o tatio n s
For brief quotations—fewer than forty words—use quotation m arks to indicate where
the quoted m aterial begins and ends, and cite the nam e of the author(s), the year of
publication, and the page num ber where the quotation appears in your source.
Rem em ber to in clude com m as to separate elem ents within the parenthetical citation.
Also, avoid redun dancy. If you nam e the author(s) in your sentence, do not repeat the
nam e(s) in your parenthetical citation. Review following the exam ples of different ways
to cite direct quotations.
Chang (20 0 8) em phasized that “engaging in weight-bearing exercise consistently is one
of the single best things wom en can do to m aintain good health” (p. 49).
The author’s nam e can be included in the body of the sentence or in the parenthetical
citation. Note that when a parenthetical citation appears at the end of the sentence, it
com es a fte r the closing quotation m arks and be fo re the period. The elem ents within
parentheses are separated by com m as.
W eight Training for W om en (Chang, 20 0 8) claim ed that “engaging in weight-bearing
exercise consistently is one of the single best things wom en can do to m aintain good
health” (p. 49).
W eight Training for W om en claim ed that “engaging in weight-bearing exercise
consistently is one of the single best things wom en can do to m aintain good health”
(Chang, 20 0 8, p. 49).
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Including the title of a source is optional.
In Chang’s 20 0 8 text W eight Training for W om en, she asserts, “Engaging in weightbearing exercise is one of the single best things wom en can do to m aintain good health”
(p. 49).
The author’s nam e, the date, and the title m ay appear in the body of the text. Include the
page num ber in the parenthetical citation. Also, notice the use of the verb asserts to
introduce the direct quotation.
“Engaging in weight-bearing exercise,” Chang asserts, “is one of the single best things
wom en can do to m aintain good health” (20 0 8, p. 49).
You m ay begin a sentence with the direct quotation and add the author’s nam e and a
strong verb before continuing the quotation.
Fo rm attin g Pa rap h ras e d an d S u m m arize d Mate rial
When you paraphrase or sum m arize ideas from a source, you follow the sam e guidelines
previously provided, except that you are not required to provide the page num ber where
the ideas are located. If you are sum m ing up the m ain findings of a research article,
sim ply providing the author’s nam e and publication year m ay suffice, but if you are
paraphrasing a m ore specific idea, consider including the page num ber.
Read the following exam ples.
Chang (20 0 8) pointed out that weight-bearing exercise has m any potential benefits for
wom en.
Here, the writer is sum m arizing a m ajor idea that recurs throughout the source
m aterial. No page reference is needed.
Chang (20 0 8) found that weight-bearing exercise could help wom en m aintain or even
increase bone density through m iddle age and beyond, reducing the likelihood that they
will develop osteoporosis in later life (p. 8 6).
Although the writer is not directly quoting the source, this passage paraphrases a
specific detail, so the writer chose to in clude the page num ber where the inform ation is
located.
Tip
Although APA style guidelines do not require writers to provide page num bers for
m aterial that is not directly quoted, your instructor m ay wish you to do so when
possible.
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Check with your instructor about his or her preferences.
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Fo rm attin g Lo n ge r Qu o ta tio n s
When you quote a longer passage from a source—forty words or m ore—use a different
form at to set off the quoted m aterial. Instead of using quotation m arks, create a
block quotation by starting the quotation on a new line and in dented five spaces from
the m argin. Note that in this case, the parenthetical citation com es afte r the period that
ends the sentence. Here is an exam ple:
In recent years, m any writers within the fitness industry have em phasized the ways in
which wom en can ben efit from weight-bearing exercise, such as weightlifting, karate,
dancing, stair clim bing, hiking, and jogging. Chang (20 0 8) found that engaging in
weight-bearing exercise regularly significantly reduces wom en’s risk of developing
osteoporosis. Additionally, these exercises help wom en m aintain m uscle m ass and
overall strength, and m any com m on form s of weight-bearing exercise, such as brisk
walking or stair clim bing, also provide noticeable cardiovascular benefits. (p. 93)
Exe rcis e 1
Review the places in your paper where you cited, quoted, and paraphrased m aterial
from a source with a single author. Edit your citations to ensure that
•
•
•
each citation includes the author’s nam e, the date of publication, and, where
appropriate, a page reference;
parenthetical citations are correctly form atted;
longer quotations use the block-quotation form at.
If you are quoting a passage that continues into a second paragraph, indent five spaces
again in the first line of the second paragraph. Here is an exam ple:
In recent years, m any writers within the fitness industry have em phasized the ways in
which wom en can ben efit from weight-bearing exercise, such as weightlifting, karate,
dancing, stair clim bing, hiking, and jogging. Chang (20 0 8) found that engaging in
weight-bearing exercise regularly significantly reduces wom en’s risk of developing
osteoporosis. Additionally, these exercises help wom en m aintain m uscle m ass and
overall strength, and m any com m on form s of weight-bearing exercise, such as brisk
walking or stair clim bing, also provide noticeable cardiovascular benefits.
It is im portant to note that swim m ing cannot be considered a weight-bearing exercise,
since the water supports and cushions the swim m er. That doesn’t m ean swim m ing isn’t
great exercise, but it should be considered one part of an integrated fitness program . (p.
93)
Tip
Be wary of quoting from sources at length. Rem em ber, your ideas should drive the
paper, and quotations should be used to support and enhance your points. Make sure
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any lengthy quotations that you include serve a clear purpose. Generally, no m ore than
10 – 15 percent of a paper should consist of quoted m aterial.
In tro d u cin g Cite d Mate rial Effe ctive ly
Including an introductory phrase in your text, such as “J ackson wrote” or “Copelan d
found,” often helps you integrate source m aterial sm oothly. This citation technique also
helps convey that you are actively engaged with your source m aterial. Unfortunately,
during the process of writing your research paper, it is easy to fall into a rut and use the
sam e few dull verbs repeatedly, such as “J ones said,” “Sm ith stated,” and so on.
Punch up your writing by using strong verbs that help your reader understand how the
source m aterial presen ts ideas. There is a world of difference between an author who
“suggests” and one who “claim s,” on e who “questions” and on e who “criticizes.” You do
not need to consult your thesaurus every tim e you cite a source, but do think about
which verbs will accurately represent the ideas and m ake your writing m ore engaging.
The following chart shows som e possibilities.
Stro n g Ve rbs fo r In tro d u cin g Cite d Mate rial
ask
suggest
question
explain
assert
claim
recomm end
compare
contrast
propose
hypothesize
believe
insist
argue
find
determ ine
m easure
assess
evaluate
conclude
study
warn
point out
sum up
Exe rcis e 2
Review the citations in your paper once again . This tim e, look for places where you
introduced source m aterial using a signal phrase in your sentence.
1. Highlight the verbs used in your signal phrases, and m ake note of any that seem to be
overused throughout the paper.
2. Identify at least three places where a stronger verb could be used.
3. Make the edits to your draft.
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W ritin g at W o rk
It is im portant to accurately represent a colleague’s ideas or com m unications in the
workplace. When writing professional or academ ic papers, be m in dful of how the words
you use to describe som eone’s tone or ideas carry certain connotations. Do not say a
source argues a particular point unless an argum ent is, in fact, presented. Use lively
language, but avoid language that is em otionally charged. Doing so will ensure you have
represented your colleague’s words in an authentic an d accurate way.
Fo rm attin g In -Te xt Citatio n s fo r Oth e r So u rce Typ e s
These sections discuss the correct form at for various types of in-text citations. Read
them through quickly to get a sense of what is covered, and then refer to them again as
needed.
Prin t So u rce s
This section covers books, articles, and other print sources with one or m ore authors.
A W o rk by On e Au th o r
For a print work with one author, follow the guidelines provided in Chapter 14 "APA an d
MLA Docum entation and Form atting", Section 14.1 "Form atting a Research Paper".
Always include the author’s nam e and year of publication. Include a page reference
whenever you quote a source directly. (See also the guidelines presented earlier in this
chapter about when to include a page reference for paraphrased m aterial.)
Chang (20 0 8) em phasized that “engaging in weight-bearing exercise consistently is one
of the single best things wom en can do to m aintain good health” (p. 49).
Chang (20 0 8) pointed out that weight-bearing exercise has m any potential benefits for
wom en.
Tw o o r Mo re W o rks by th e S am e Au th o r
At tim es, your research m ay in clude m ultiple works by the sam e author. If the works
were published in different years, a standard in-text citation will serve to distinguish
them . If you are citing m ultiple works by the sam e author published in the sam e year,
include a lowercase letter im m ediately after the year. Rank the sources in the order they
appear in your referen ces section. The source listed first includes an a after the year, the
source listed second includes a b, and so on.
Rodriguez (20 0 9a) criticized the nutrition-supplem ent industry for m aking
unsubstantiated and som etim es m isleading claim s about the benefits of taking
supplem ents. Additionally, he warned that consum ers frequently do not realize the
potential harm ful effects of som e popular supplem ents (Rodriguez, 20 0 9b).
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Tip
If you have not yet created your referen ces section, you m ay not be sure which source
will appear first. See Chapter 14 "APA and MLA Docum entation an d Form atting",
Section 14.3 "Creating a Referen ces Section" for guidelines—or assign each source a
tem porary code and highlight the in-text citations so you rem em ber to double-check
them later on.
W o rks by Au th o rs w ith th e S am e La s t N am e
If you are citing works by different authors with the sam e last n am e, include each
author’s initials in your citation, whether you m ention them in the text or in
parentheses. Do so even if the publication years are different.
J . S. William s (20 0 7) believes nutritional supplem ents can be a useful part of som e diet
and fitness regim en s. C. D. William s (20 0 8), however, believes these supplem ents are
overrated.
According to two leading researchers, the rate of childhood obesity exceeds the rate of
adult obesity (K. Connelley, 20 10 ; O. Connelley, 20 10 ).
Studies from both A. Wright (20 0 7) and C. A. Wright (20 0 8) confirm the benefits of diet
and exercise on weight loss.
A W o rk by Tw o Au th o rs
When two authors are listed for a given work, include both authors’ nam es each tim e
you cite the work. If you are citing their nam es in parentheses, use an am persand (&)
between them . (Use the word and, however, if the nam es appear in your sentence.)
As Garrison and Gould (20 10 ) pointed out, “It is never too late to quit sm oking. The
health risks associated with this habit begin to decrease soon after a sm oker quits” (p.
10 1).
As doctors continue to point out, “It is never too late to quit sm oking. The health risks
associated with this habit begin to decrease soon after a sm oker quits” (Garrison &
Gould, 20 10 , p. 10 1).
A W o rk by Th re e to Five Au th o rs
If the work you are citing has three to five authors, list all the authors’ nam es the first
tim e you cite the source. In subsequent citations, use the first author’s nam e followed by
the abbreviation et al. (Et al. is short for et alia, the Latin phrase for “and others.”)
Henderson, Davidian, and Degler (20 10 ) surveyed 350 sm okers aged 18 to 30 .
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One survey, conducted am ong 350 sm okers aged 18 to 30 , included a detailed
questionnaire about participants’ m otivations for sm oking (Henderson, Davidian, &
Degler, 20 10 ).
Note that these exam ples follow the sam e am persand conventions as sources with two
authors. Again, use the am persand only when listing authors’ nam es in parentheses.
As Hen derson et al. (20 10 ) found, som e young people, particularly young wom en, use
sm oking as a m eans of appetite suppression.
Disturbingly, som e young wom en use sm okin g as a m eans of appetite suppression
(Henderson et al., 20 10 ).
Note how the phrase et al. is punctuated. No period com es after et, but al. gets a period
because it is an abbreviation for a longer Latin word. In parenthetical references,
include a com m a after et al. but not before. Rem em ber this rule by m entally translating
the citation to English: “Henderson and others, 20 10 .”
A W o rk by Six o r Mo re Au th o rs
If the work you are citing has six or m ore authors, list only the first author’s nam e,
followed by et al., in your in-text citations. The other authors’ nam es will be listed in
your references section.
Researchers have found that outreach work with young people has helped reduce
tobacco use in som e com m unities (Costello et al., 20 0 7).
A W o rk Au th o re d by an Organ izatio n
When citing a work that has no individual author(s) but is published by an organization,
use the organization’s nam e in place of the author’s nam e. Lengthy organization nam es
with well-known abbreviations can be abbreviated. In your first citation, use the full
nam e, followed by the abbreviation in square brackets. Subsequent citations m ay use
the abbreviation only.
It is possible for a patient to have a sm all stroke without even realizing it (Am erican
Heart Association [AHA], 20 10 ).
Another cause for concern is that even if patients realize that they have had a stroke and
need m edical attention, they m ay not know which n earby facilities are best equipped to
treat them (AHA, 20 10 ).
Exe rcis e 3
1. Review the places in your paper where you cited m aterial from a source with multiple
authors or with an organization as the author. Edit your citations to ensure that each
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citation follows APA guidelines for the inclusion of the authors’ nam es, the use of
am persands and et al., the date of publication, and, where appropriate, a page reference.
2. Mark any additional citations within your paper that you are not sure how to form at
based on the guidelines provided so far. You will revisit these citations after reading the
next few sections.
A W o rk w ith N o Lis te d Au th o r
If no author is listed and the source cannot be attributed to an organization, use the title
in place of the author’s nam e. You m ay use the full title in your sentence or use the first
few words—enough to convey the key ideas—in a parenthetical reference. Follow
standard conventions for using italics or quotations m arks with titles:
•
•
Use italics for titles of books or reports.
Use quotation m arks for titles of articles or chapters.
“Living With Diabetes: Managing Your Health” (20 0 9) recom m ends regular exercise for
patients with diabetes.
Regular exercise can benefit patients with diabetes (“Living with Diabetes,” 20 0 9).
Rosenhan (1973) had m entally healthy study participants claim to be experiencing
hallucinations so they would be adm itted to psychiatric hospitals.
A W o rk Cite d w ith in An o th e r W o rk
To cite a source that is referred to within another secondary source, nam e the first
source in your senten ce. Then, in parentheses, use the phrase as cited in and the nam e
of the second source author.
Rosenhan’s study “On Being Sane in Insane Places” (as cited in Spitzer, 1975) found that
psychiatrists diagnosed schizophrenia in people who claim ed to be experiencing
hallucinations an d sought treatm ent—even though these patients were, in fact,
im posters.
Tw o o r Mo re W o rks Cite d in On e Re fe re n ce
At tim es, you m ay provide m ore than one citation in a parenthetical reference, such as
when you are discussin g related works or studies with sim ilar results. List the citations
in the sam e order they appear in your referen ces section, and separate the citations with
a sem icolon.
Som e researchers have found serious flaws in the way Rosenhan’s study was con ducted
(Dawes, 20 0 1; Spitzer, 1975).
Both of these researchers authored works that support the point being m ade in this
sentence, so it m akes sense to include both in the sam e citation.
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A Fam o u s Te xt Pu blis h e d in Mu ltip le Ed itio n s
In som e cases, you m ay need to cite an extrem ely well-known work that has been
repeatedly republished or translated. Many works of literature and sacred texts, as well
as som e classic nonfiction texts, fall into this category. For these works, the original date
of publication m ay be unavailable. If so, include the year of publication or translation for
your edition. Refer to specific parts or chapters if you need to cite a specific section.
Discuss with your instructor whether he or she would like you to cite page num bers in
this particular instance.
In N ew Introductory Lectures on Psy cho-Analy sis, Freud explains that the “m anifest
content” of a dream —what literally takes place—is separate from its “latent content,” or
hidden m eaning (trans. 1965, lecture XXIX).
Here, the student is citing a classic work of psychology, originally written in Germ an an d
later translated to English. Sin ce the book is a collection of Freud’s lectures, the student
cites the lecture num ber rather than a page num ber.
An In tro d u ctio n , Fo re w o rd , Pre face , o r Afte rw o rd
To cite an introduction, foreword, preface, or afterword, cite the author of the m aterial
and the year, following the sam e form at used for other print m aterials.
Ele ctro n ic So u rce s
Whenever possible, cite electronic sources as you would print sources, using the author,
the date, and where appropriate, a page num ber. For som e types of electronic sources—
for instance, m any online articles—this inform ation is easily available. Other tim es,
however, you will need to vary the form at to reflect the differences in online m edia.
On lin e So u rce s w ith o u t P age N u m b e rs
If an online source has no page num bers but you want to refer to a specific portion of the
source, try to locate other inform ation you can use to direct your reader to the
inform ation cited. Som e websites num ber paragraphs within published articles; if so,
include the paragraph num ber in your citation. Precede the paragraph num ber with the
abbreviation for the word paragraph and the num ber of the paragraph (e.g., para. 4).
As researchers have explained, “Incorporating fresh fruits and vegetables into one’s diet
can be a challenge for residents of areas where there are few or no easily accessible
superm arkets” (Sm ith & J ones, 20 0 6, para. 4).
Even if a source does n ot have num bered paragraphs, it is likely to have headings that
organize the content. In your citation, nam e the section where your cited inform ation
appears, followed by a paragraph num ber.
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The Am erican Lung Association (20 10 ) noted, “After sm oking, radon exposure is the
second m ost com m on cause of lung cancer” (What Causes Lung Cancer? section, para.
2).
This student cited the appropriate section heading within the website and then counted
to find the specific paragraph where the cited inform ation was located.
If an online source has no listed author and no date, use the source title and the
abbreviation n.d. in your parenthetical reference.
It has been suggested that electrom agnetic radiation from cellular telephones m ay pose
a risk for developing certain can cers (“Cell Phones an d Cancer,” n.d.).
Pe rs o n al Co m m u n icatio n
For personal com m unications, such as interviews, letters, and e-m ails, cite the nam e of
the person involved, clarify that the m aterial is from a personal com m unication, an d
provide the specific date the com m unication took place. Note that while in-text citations
correspond to entries in the references section, personal com m unications are an
exception to this rule. They are cited only in the body text of your paper.
J . H. Yardley, M.D., believes that available inform ation on the relationship between cell
phone use an d cancer is inconclusive (personal com m unication, May 1, 20 0 9).
W ritin g at W o rk
At work, you m ay som etim es share inform ation resources with your colleagues by
photocopying an interesting article or forwarding the URL of a useful website. Your goal
in these situations and in form al research citations is the sam e. The goal is to provide
enough inform ation to help your professional peers locate and follow up on potentially
useful inform ation. Provide as m uch specific inform ation as possible to achieve that
goal, and consult with your professor as to what specific style he or she m ay prefer.
Exe rcis e 4
Revisit the problem citations you identified in Note 14.55 "Exercise 3"—for instance,
sources with no listed author or other oddities. Review the guidelines provided in this
section an d edit your citations for these kinds of sources according to APA guidelines.
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Ke y Take aw ays
•
•
•
•
•
In APA papers, in-text citations include the nam e of the author(s) and the year of
publication whenever possible.
Page num bers are always included when citing quotations. It is optional to include page
num bers when citing paraphrased m aterial; however, this should be done when citing a
specific portion of a work.
When citing online sources, provide the sam e inform ation used for print sources if it is
available.
When a source does not provide inform ation that usually appears in a citation, in-text
citations should provide readers with alternative inform ation that would help them
locate the source m aterial. This m ay include the title of the source, section headings and
paragraph num bers for websites, and so forth.
When writing a paper, discuss with your professor what particular standards he or she
would like you to follow.
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14 .3 Cre a tin g a Re fe re n ce s Se ctio n
Le arn in g Obje ctive
1. Apply Am erican Psychological Association (APA) style and form atting guidelines for a
references section.
This section provides detailed inform ation about how to create the references section of
your paper. You will review basic form atting guidelines and learn how to form at
bibliographical entries for various types of sources. This section of Chapter 14 "APA and
MLA Docum entation and Form atting", like the previous section, is m eant to be used as
a referen ce tool while you write.
Fo rm attin g th e Re fe re n ce s Se ctio n : Th e B as ics
At this stage in the writing process, you m ay already have begun setting up your
references section. This section m ay consist of a single page for a brief research paper or
m ay extend for m any pages in professional journal articles. As you create this section of
your paper, follow the guidelines provided here.
Fo rm attin g th e Re fe re n ce s Se ctio n
To set up your references section, use the insert page break feature of your wordprocessing program to begin a n ew page. Note that the header and m argins will be the
sam e as in the body of your paper, and pagination continues from the body of your
paper. (In other words, if you set up the body of your paper correctly, the correct header
and page num ber should appear autom atically in your references section.) See
additional guidelines below.
Fo rm attin g Re fe re n ce En trie s
Reference entries should include the following inform ation:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The nam e of the author(s)
The year of publication and, where applicable, the exact date of publication
The full title of the source
For books, the city of publication
For articles or essays, the nam e of the periodical or book in which the article or essay
appears
For m agazine and journal articles, the volum e num ber, issue number, and pages where
the article appears
For sources on the web, the URL where the source is located
See the following exam ples for how to form at a book or journal article with a single
author.
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Sam ple Bo o k En try
Sam ple Jo u rn al Article En try
The following box provides general guidelines for form atting the reference page. For the
rem ain der of this chapter, you will learn about how to form at bibliographical entries for
different source types, including m ultiauthor and electronic sources.
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Fo rm attin g th e Re fe re n ce s Se ctio n : APA Ge n e ral Gu id e lin e s
1. Include the heading References, centered at the top of the page. The heading should not
be boldfaced, italicized, or underlined.
2. Use double-spaced type throughout the references section, as in the body of your paper.
3. Use hanging indentation for each entry. The first line should be flush with the left
m argin, while any lines that follow should be indented five spaces. Note that hanging
indentation is the opposite of norm al indenting rules for paragraphs.
4. List entries in alphabetical order by the author’s last nam e. For a work with m ultiple
authors, use the last name of the first author listed.
5. List authors’ nam es using this form at: Sm ith, J . C.
6. For a work with no individual author(s), use the nam e of the organization that published
the work or, if this is unavailable, the title of the work in place of the author’s nam e.
7. For works with m ultiple authors, follow these guidelines:
For works with up to seven authors, list the last nam e and initials for each author.
For works with more than seven authors, list the first six nam es, followed by
ellipses, and then the nam e of the last author listed.
o Use an am persand before the nam e of the last author listed.
8. Use title case for journal titles. Capitalize all im portant words in the title.
o
o
9. Use sentence case for all other titles—books, articles, web pages, and other source
titles. Capitalize the first word of the title. Do not capitalize any other words in
the title except for the following:
Proper nouns
First word of a subtitle
First word after a colon or dash
10 . Use italics for book and journal titles. Do not use italics, underlining, or quotation m arks
for titles of shorter works, such as articles.
o
o
o
Exe rcis e 1
Set up the first page of your references section and begin adding entries, following the
APA form atting guidelines provided in this section.
1. If there are any simple entries that you can form at completely using the general
guidelines, do so at this tim e.
2. For entries you are unsure of how to form at, type in as m uch inform ation as you can, and
highlight the entries so you can return to them later.
Fo rm attin g Re fe re n ce En trie s fo r D iffe re n t So u rce Typ e s
As is the case for in-text citations, form atting reference entries becom es m ore
com plicated when you are citing a source with m ultiple authors, citing various types of
online m edia, or citing sources for which you m ust provide additional inform ation
beyond the basics listed in the general guidelines. The following guidelines show how to
form at reference entries for these different situations.
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Prin t So u rce s : Bo o ks
For book-length sources and shorter works that appear in a book, follow the guidelines
that best describes your source.
A Bo o k by Tw o o r Mo re Au th o rs
List the authors’ nam es in the order they appear on the book’s title page. Use an
am persand before the last author’s nam e.
Cam pbell, D. T., & Stanley, J . C. (1963). Experim ental and quasi-experim ental designs
for research. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.
An Ed ite d Bo o k w ith N o Au th o r
List the editor or editors’ nam es in place of the author’s nam e, followed by Ed. or Eds. in
parentheses.
Myers, C., & Ream er, D. (Eds.). (20 0 9). 20 0 9 nutrition index. San Francisco, CA:
HealthSource, Inc.
An Ed ite d Bo o k w ith an Au th o r
List the author’s nam e first, followed by the title and the editor or editors. Note that
when the editor is listed after the title, you list the initials before the last nam e.
Tip
The previous exam ple shows the form at used for an edited book with one author—for
instance, a collection of a fam ous person’s letters that has been edited. This type of
source is different from an anthology, which is a collection of articles or essays by
different authors. For citing works in anthologies, see the guidelines later in this section.
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A Tran s late d Bo o k
Include the translator’s nam e after the title, and at the end of the citation, list the date
the original work was published. Note that for the translator’s nam e, you list the initials
before the last nam e.
Freud, S. (1965). N ew introductory lectures on psy cho-analy sis (J . Strachey, Trans.).
New York, NY: W. W. Norton. (Original work published 1933).
A Bo o k P u blis h e d in Mu ltip le Ed itio n s
If you are using any edition other than the first edition, in clude the edition num ber in
parentheses after the title.
A Ch a p te r in an Ed ite d Bo o k
List the nam e of the author(s) who wrote the chapter, followed by the chapter title. Then
list the nam es of the book editor(s) and the title of the book, followed by the page
num bers for the chapter and the usual inform ation about the book’s publisher.
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A W o rk Th at Ap p e ars in an An th o lo gy
Follow the sam e process you would use to cite a book chapter, substituting the article or
essay title for the chapter title.
An Article in a Re fe re n ce Bo o k
List the author’s nam e if available; if no author is listed, provide the title of the entry
where the author’s nam e would norm ally be listed. If the book lists the nam e of the
editor(s), include it in your citation. Indicate the volum e num ber (if applicable) an d
page num bers in paren theses after the article title.
Tw o o r Mo re Bo o ks by th e S am e Au th o r
List the entries in order of their publication year, begin ning with the work published
first.
Swedan, N. (20 0 1). W om en’s sports m edicine and rehabilitation. Gaithersburg, MD:
Aspen Publishers.
Swedan, N. (20 0 3). The active w om an’s health and fitness handbook. New York, NY:
Perigee.
If two books have m ultiple authors, and the first author is the sam e but the others are
different, alphabetize by the second author’s last nam e (or the third or fourth, if
necessary).
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Carroll, D., & Aaronson, F. (20 0 8). Managing ty pe II diabetes. Chicago, IL: Southwick
Press.
Carroll, D., & Zuckerm an, N. (20 0 8). Gestational diabetes. Chicago, IL: Southwick
Press.
Bo o ks by D iffe re n t Au th o rs w ith th e Sam e Las t N am e
Alphabetize entries by the authors’ first initial.
A Bo o k Au th o re d by an Organ izatio n
Treat the organization nam e as you would an author’s nam e. For the purposes of
alphabetizing, ignore words like The in the organization’s nam e. (That is, a book
published by the Am erican Heart Association would be listed with other entries whose
authors’ nam es begin with A.)
Am erican Psychiatric Association. (1994). Diagnostic and statistical m anual of m ental
disorders DSM-IV (4th ed.). Arlington, VA: Am erican Psychiatric Publishing.
A Bo o k-Le n gth Re p o rt
Form at technical and research reports as you would form at other book-length sources.
If the organization that issued the report assigned it a num ber, include the num ber in
parentheses after the title. (See also the guidelines provided for citing works produced
by governm ent agen cies.)
J am eson, R., & Dewey, J . (20 0 9). Prelim inary findings from an evaluation of the
president’s phy sical fitness program in Pleasantville school district. Pleasantville, WA:
Pleasantville Board of Education.
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A Bo o k Au th o re d by a Go ve rn m e n t Age n cy
Treat these as you would a book published by a nongovernm ent organization, but be
aware that these works m ay have an identification num ber listed. If so, include it in
parentheses after the publication year.
U.S. Census Bureau. (20 0 2). The decennial censuses from 1790 to 20 0 0 (Publication
No. POL/ 0 2-MA). Washington, DC: US Governm ent Printing Offices.
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Exe rcis e 2
Revisit the referen ces section you began to com pile in Note 14.73 "Exercise 1". Use the
guidelines provided to form at any entries for book-length print sources that you were
unable to finish earlier.
Review how J orge form atted these book-len gth print sources:
Atkins, R. C. (20 0 2). Dr. Atkins’ diet revolution. New York, NY: M. Evans an d Com pany.
Agatson, A. (20 0 3). The South Beach diet. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Griffin.
Prin t So u rce s : Pe rio d ica ls
An Article in a S ch o larly Jo u rn al
Include the following inform ation:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Author or authors’ nam es
Publication year
Article title (in sentence case, without quotation m arks or italics)
J ournal title (in title case and in italics)
Volum e num ber (in italics)
Issue number (in parentheses)
Page num ber(s) where the article appears
DeMarco, R. F. (20 10 ). Palliative care an d African Am erican wom en living with HIV.
Journal of N ursing Education, 49(5), 1– 4.
An Article in a Jo u rn al Pa gin ate d b y Vo lu m e
In these types of journals, page num bers for one volum e continue across all the issues in
that volum e. For instance, the winter issue m ay begin with page 1, and in the spring
issue that follows, the page num bers pick up where the previous issue left off. (If you
have ever wondered why a print journal did n ot begin on page 1, or wondered why the
page num bers of a journal extend into four digits, this is why.) Om it the issue num ber
from your reference entry.
Wagner, J . (20 0 9). Rethinking school lunches: A review of recent literature. Am erican
School N urses’ Journal, 47, 1123– 1127.
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An Abs tra ct o f a S ch o larly Article
At tim es you m ay need to cite an abstract—the sum m ary that appears at the beginning—
of a published article. If you are citing the abstract only, and it was published separately
from the article, provide the following information:
•
•
Publication inform ation for the article
Inform ation about where the abstract was published (for instance, another journal or a
collection of abstracts)
A Jo u rn al Article w ith Tw o to Se ve n Au th o rs
List all the authors’ nam es in the order they appear in the article. Use an am persand
before the last nam e listed.
Barker, E. T., & Bornstein, M. H. (20 10 ). Global self-esteem , appearance satisfaction,
and self-reported dieting in early adolescence. Journal of Early Adolescence, 30 (2),
20 5– 224.
Trem blay, M. S., Shields, M., Laviolette, M., Craig, C. L., J anssen, I., & Gorber, S. C.
(20 10 ). Fitness of Canadian children and youth: Results from the 20 0 7– 20 0 9 Canadian
Health Measures Survey. Health Reports, 21(1), 7– 20 .
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A Jo u rn al Article w ith Mo re Th an S e ve n Au th o rs
List the first six authors’ nam es, followed by a com m a, an ellipsis, an d the nam e of the
last author listed. The article in the following exam ple has sixteen listed authors; the
reference entry lists the first six authors and the sixteenth, om itting the seventh through
the fifteenth.
W ritin g at W o rk
The idea of an eight-page article with sixteen authors m ay seem strange to you—
especially if you are in the m idst of writing a ten-page research paper on your own. More
often than not, articles in scholarly journals list m ultiple authors. Som etim es, the
authors actually did collaborate on writing and editing the published article. In other
instances, som e of the authors listed m ay have contributed to the research in som e way
while being only m inim ally involved in the process of writing the article. Whenever you
collaborate with colleagues to produce a written product, follow your profession’s
conventions for giving everyone proper credit for their contribution.
A Ma gazin e Article
After the publication year, list the issue date. Otherwise, treat these as you would journal
articles. List the volume and issue num ber if both are available.
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A N e w s p a p e r Article
Treat these as you would m agazine and journal articles, with one im portant difference:
precede the page num ber(s) with the abbreviation p. (for a single-page article) or pp.
(for a m ultipage article). For articles whose pagination is not continuous, list all the
pages included in the article. For exam ple, an article that begins on page A1 an d
continues on pages A4 would have the page reference A1, A4. An article that begins on
page A1 and continues on pages A4 and A5 would have the page reference A1, A4– A5.
A Le tte r to th e Ed ito r
After the title, indicate in brackets that the work is a letter to the editor.
J ones, J . (20 0 9, J anuary 31). Food police in our schools [Letter to the editor].
Rockw ood Gazette, p. A8.
A Re vie w
After the title, indicate in brackets that the work is a review and state the nam e of the
work being reviewed. (Note that even if the title of the review is the sam e as the title of
the book being reviewed, as in the following exam ple, you should treat it as an article
title. Do not italicize it.)
Exe rcis e 3
Revisit the referen ces section you began to com pile in Note 14.73 "Exercise 1". Use the
guidelines provided above to form at any entries for periodicals and other shorter print
sources that you were unable to finish earlier.
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Ele ctro n ic So u rce s
Citin g Article s fro m On lin e Pe rio d icals : U RLs an d D igital Obje ct
Id e n tifie rs ( D OIs )
Whenever you cite online sources, it is im portant to provide the m ost up-to-date
inform ation available to help readers locate the source. In som e cases, this m eans
providing an article’s URL, or web address. (The letters URL stand for uniform resource
locator.) Always provide the m ost com plete URL possible. Provide a link to the specific
article used, rather than a link to the publication’s hom epage.
As you know, web addresses are not always stable. If a website is updated or
reorganized, the article you accessed in April m ay m ove to a different location in May.
The URL you provided m ay becom e a dead link. For this reason, m any online
periodicals, especially scholarly publications, now rely on DOIs rather than URLs to
keep track of articles.
A DOI is a Digital Object Identifier—an identification code provided for som e online
docum ents, typically articles in scholarly journals. Like a URL, its purpose is to help
readers locate an article. However, a DOI is m ore stable than a URL, so it m akes sense
to include it in your reference entry when possible. Follow these guidelines:
•
•
•
If you are citing an online article with a DOI, list the DOI at the end of the reference
entry.
If the article appears in print as well as online, you do not need to provide the URL.
However, include the words Electronic version after the title in brackets.
In other respects, treat the article as you would a print article. Include the volum e
num ber and issue number if available. (Note, however, that these m ay not be available
for som e online periodicals).
An Article fro m a n On lin e Pe rio d ical w ith a D OI
List the DOI if one is provided. There is no need to include the URL if you have listed
the DOI.
Bell, J . R. (20 0 6). Low-carb beats low-fat diet for early losses but not long term . OBGYN
N ew s, 41(12), 32. doi:10 .10 16/ S0 0 29-7437(0 6)7190 5-X
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An Article fro m a n On lin e Pe rio d ical w ith N o D OI
List the URL. Include the volum e and issue num ber for the periodical if this inform ation
is available. (For som e online periodicals, it m ay not be.)
Note that if the article appears in a print version of the publication, you do not need to
list the URL, but do indicate that you accessed the electronic version.
Robbins, K. (20 10 , March/ April). Nature’s bounty: A heady feast [Electronic version].
Psy chology Today , 43(2), 58.
A N e w s p a p e r Article
Provide the URL of the article.
McNeil, D. G. (20 10 , May 3). Maternal health: A new study challenges benefits of
vitam in A for wom en and babies. The N ew York Tim es. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.nytim es.com / 20 10 / 0 5/ 0 4/ health/ 0 4glob.htm l?ref=health
An Article Acce s s e d th ro u gh a D atab as e
Cite these articles as you would norm ally cite a print article. Provide database
inform ation only if the article is difficult to locate.
Tip
APA style does not require writers to provide the item num ber or accession num ber for
articles retrieved from databases. You m ay choose to do so if the article is difficult to
locate or the database is an obscure one. Check with your professor to see if this is
som ething he or she would like you to include.
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An Abs tra ct o f an Article
Form at these as you would an article citation, but add the word Abstract in brackets
after the title.
Bradley, U., Spence, M., Courtney, C. H., McKinley, M. C., Ennis, C. N., McCance, D.
R.…Hunter, S. J . (20 0 9). Low-fat versus low-carbohydrate weight reduction diets:
Effects on weight loss, insulin resistance, and cardiovascular risk: A random ized control
trial [Abstract]. Diabetes, 58 (12), 2741– 2748.
http:/ / diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/ content/ early/ 20 0 9/ 0 8/ 23/ db0 0 0 98.abstract
A N o n p e rio d ical W e b D o cu m e n t
The ways you cite different nonperiodical web docum ents m ay vary slightly from source
to source, depen ding on the inform ation that is available. In your citation, include as
m uch of the following inform ation as you can:
•
•
•
•
Nam e of the author(s), whether an individual or organization
Date of publication (Use n.d. if no date is available.)
Title of the docum ent
Address where you retrieved the docum ent
If the docum ent consists of m ore than one web page within the site, link to the
hom epage or the entry page for the docum ent.
Am erican Heart Association. (20 10 ). Heart attack, stroke, and cardiac arrest w arning
signs. Retrieved from http:/ / www.am ericanheart.org/ presenter.jhtm l?identifier=30 53
An En try fro m an On lin e En cyclo p e d ia o r D ictio n ary
Because these sources often do not include authors’ nam es, you m ay list the title of the
entry at the beginning of the citation. Provide the URL for the specific entry.
Addiction. (n.d.) In Merriam -W ebster’s online dictionary . Retrieved from
http:/ / www.m erriam -webster.com / dictionary/ addiction
D ata Se ts
If you cite raw data com piled by an organization, such as statistical data, provide the
URL where you retrieved the inform ation. Provide the nam e of the organization that
sponsors the site.
US Food and Drug Adm inistration. (20 0 9). N ationw ide evaluation of X-ray trends:
N EXT survey s perform ed [Data file]. Retrieved from http:/ / www.fda.gov/ RadiationEm ittingProducts/ RadiationSafety/ NationwideEvaluationofXRayTrendsNEXT/ ucm 11650 8.htm
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Gra p h ic D a ta
When citing graphic data—such as m aps, pie charts, bar graphs, and so on—include the
nam e of the organization that com piled the inform ation, along with the publication
date. Briefly describe the contents in brackets. Provide the URL where you retrieved the
inform ation. (If the graphic is associated with a specific project or docum ent, list it after
your bracketed description of the contents.)
US Food and Drug Adm inistration. (20 0 9). [Pie charts showing the percentage
breakdown of the FDA’s budget for fiscal year 20 0 5]. 20 0 5 FDA budget sum m ary .
Retrieved from
m http:/ / www.fda.gov/ AboutFDA/ ReportsManualsForm s/ Reports/ BudgetReports/ 20 0
5FDABudgetSum m ary/ ucm 117231.htm
An On lin e In te rvie w ( Au d io File o r Tran s crip t)
List the interviewer, in terviewee, an d date. After the title, include bracketed text
describing the interview as an “Interview transcript” or “Interview audio file,”
depen ding on the form at of the interview you accessed. List the nam e of the website an d
the URL where you retrieved the inform ation. Use the following form at.
Davies, D. (Interviewer), & Pollan, M. (Interviewee). (20 0 8). Michael Pollan offers
president food for thought [Interview transcript]. Retrieved from National Public Radio
website: http:/ / www.npr.org/ tem plates/ transcript/ transcript.php?storyId=10 0 755362
An Ele ctro n ic Bo o k
Electronic books m ay include books available as text files online or audiobooks. If an
electronic book is easily available in print, cite it as you would a prin t source. If it is
unavailable in print (or extrem ely difficult to find), use the form at in the exam ple. (Use
the words Available from in your citation if the book m ust be purchased or is not
available directly.)
Chisholm , L. (n.d.). Celtic tales. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.childrenslibrary.org/ icdl/ BookReader?bookid=
chicelt_ 0 0 150 0 14&twoPage=false&route=text&size=0 &fullscreen=false&pnum 1=1&lan
g= English&ilang=English
A Ch a p te r fro m a n On lin e Bo o k o r a Ch ap te r o r Se ctio n o f a W e b
D o cu m e n t
These are treated sim ilarly to their print counterparts with the addition of retrieval
inform ation. Include the chapter or section n um ber in parentheses after the book title.
Hart, A. M. (1895). Restoratives—Coffee, cocoa, chocolate. In Diet in sickness and in
health (VI). Retrieved from http:/ / www.archive.org/ details/ dietin sicknessin 0 0 hartrich
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A D is s e rtatio n o r Th e s is fro m a D ataba s e
Provide the author, date of publication, title, and retrieval inform ation. If the work is
num bered within the database, include the num ber in parentheses at the end of the
citation.
Co m p u te r So ftw a re
For com m only used office software and program m ing languages, it is not necessary to
provide a citation. Cite software only when you are using a specialized program , such as
the nutrition tracking software in the following exam ple. If you download software from
a website, provide the version and the year if available.
Internet Brands, Inc. (20 0 9). FitDay PC (Version 2) [Software]. Available from
http:/ / www.fitday.com / Pc/ PcHom e.htm l?gcid=14
A Po s t o n a Blo g o r Vid e o Blo g
Citation guidelines for these sources are sim ilar to those used for discussion forum
postings. Briefly describe the type of source in brackets after the title.
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W ritin g at W o rk
Because the content m ay not be carefully reviewed for accuracy, discussion forum s and
blogs should not be relied upon as a m ajor source of inform ation. However, it m ay be
appropriate to cite these sources for som e types of research. You m ay also participate in
discussion forum s or com m ent on blogs that address topics of personal or professional
interest. Always keep in m ind that when you post, you are m aking your thoughts
public—and in m any cases, available through search engines. Make sure any posts that
can easily be associated with your nam e are appropriately professional, because a
potential em ployer could view them .
A Te le vis io n o r Ra d io Bro ad ca s t
Include the nam e of the producer or executive producer; the date, title, and type of
broadcast; an d the associated com pany an d location.
West, Ty. (Executive producer). (20 0 9, Septem ber 24). PBS special report: Health care
reform [Television broadcast]. New York, NY, and Washington, DC: Public
Broadcasting Service.
A Te le vis io n o r Ra d io Se rie s o r Ep is o d e
Include the producer and the type of series if you are citing an entire television or radio
series.
Couture, D., Nabors, S., Pinkard, S., Robertson, N., & Sm ith, J . (Producers). (1979). The
Diane Rehm show [Radio series]. Washington, DC: National Public Radio.
To cite a specific episode of a radio or television series, list the nam e of the writer or
writers (if available), the date the episode aired, its title, and the type of series, along
with general inform ation about the series.
Bernanke, J ., & Wade, C. (20 10 , J anuary 10 ). Hum m ingbirds: Magic in the air
[Television series episode]. In F. Kaufm an (Executive producer), N ature. New York, NY:
WNET.
A Mo tio n Pictu re
Nam e the director or producer (or both), year of release, title, country of origin, and
studio.
Spurlock, M. (Director/ producer), Morley, J . (Executive producer), & Winters. H. M.
(Executive producer). (20 0 4). Super size m e. United States: Kathbur Pictures in
association with Studio on Hudson.
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A Re co rd in g
Nam e the prim ary contributors and list their role. Include the recording m edium in
brackets after the title. Then list the location and the label.
Sm ith, L. W. (Speaker). (1999). Meditation and relaxation [CD]. New York, NY: Earth,
Wind, & Sky Productions.
Székely, I. (Pianist), Budapest Sym phony Orchestra (Perform ers), & Ném eth, G.
(Conductor). (1988). Chopin piano concertos no. 1 and 2 [CD]. Hong Kong: Naxos.
A Po d ca s t
Provide as m uch inform ation as possible about the writer, director, and producer; the
date the podcast aired; its title; any organization or series with which it is associated;
and where you retrieved the podcast.
Kelsey, A. R. (Writer), Garcia, J . (Director), & Kim , S. C. (Producer). (20 10 , May 7). Lies
food labels tell us. Savvy consum er podcasts [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.savvyconsum er.org/ podcasts/ 0 50 710
Exe rcis e 4
Revisit the referen ces section you began to com pile in Note 14.73 "Exercise 1".
1. Use the APA guidelines provided in this section to form at any entries for electronic
sources that you were unable to finish earlier.
2. If your sources include a form of m edia not covered in the APA guidelines here, consult
with a writing tutor or review a print or online reference book. You m ay wish to visit the
website of the Am erican Psychological Association at http:/ / www.apa.org or the Purdue
University Online Writing lab at http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu, which regularly updates
its online style guidelines.
3. Give your paper a final edit to check the references section.
Ke y Take aw ays
•
In APA papers, entries in the referen ces section include as m uch of the following
inform ation as possible:
o
o
o
Prin t s o u rce s . Author(s), date of publication, title, publisher, page numbers
(for shorter works), editors (if applicable), and periodical title (if applicable).
On lin e s o u rce s ( te xt-bas e d ) . Author(s), date of publication, title, publisher or
sponsoring organization, and DOI or URL (if applicable).
Ele ctro n ic s o u rce s ( n o n -te xt-bas e d ) . Provide details about the creator(s) of
the work, title, associated company or series, and date the work was produced or
broadcast. The specific details provided will vary depending on the m edium and
the inform ation that is available.
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o
Ele ctro n ic s o u rce s ( te xt-bas e d ) . If an electronic source is also widely
available in print form, it is som etim es unnecessary to provide details about how
to access the electronic version. Check the guidelines for the specific source type.
14 .4 U s in g Mo d e rn Lan gu a ge As s o ciatio n ( MLA) Style
Le arn in g Obje ctive s
1. Identify the m ajor com ponents of a research paper written using MLA style.
2. Apply general Modern Language Association (MLA) style and form atting conventions in
a research paper.
We have addressed Am erican Psychological Association (APA) style, as well as the
im portance of giving credit where credit is due, so now let’s turn our attention to the
form atting and citation style of the Modern Language Association, known as MLA style.
MLA style is often used in the liberal arts and hum anities. Like APA style, it provides a
uniform fram ework for consistency across a docum ent in several areas. MLA style
provides a form at for the m anuscript text and parenthetical citations, or in-text
citations. It also provides the fram ework for the works cited area for references at the
end of the essay. MLA style em phasizes brevity and clarity. As a student writer, it is to
your advantage to be fam iliar with both m ajor styles, and this section will outline the
m ain points of MLA as well as offer specific exam ples of com m only used referen ces.
Rem em ber that your writing represents you in your absence. The correct use of a
citation style dem onstrates your attention to detail an d ability to produce a scholarly
work in an acceptable style, and it can help prevent the appearance or accusations of
plagiarism .
If you are taking an English, art history, or m usic appreciation class, chances are that
you will be asked to write an essay in MLA form at. One com m on question goes
som ething like “What’s the difference?” referring to APA and MLA style, and it deserves
our consideration. The liberal arts and hum anities often reflect works of creativity that
com e from individual and group effort, but they m ay adapt, change, or build on previous
creative works. The inspiration to create som ething new, from a song to a m usic video,
m ay contain elem ents of previous works. Drawing on your fellow artists and authors is
part of the creative process, and so is giving credit where credit is due.
A reader interested in your subject wants not only to read what you wrote but also to be
aware of the works that you used to create it. Readers want to exam ine your sources to
see if you know your subject, to see if you m issed anything, or if you offer anything new
and interesting. Your new or up-to-date sources m ay offer the reader additional insight
on the subject being considered. It also dem onstrates that you, as the author, are up-todate on what is happen ing in the field or on the subject. Giving credit where it is due
enhan ces your credibility, and the MLA style offers a clear form at to use.
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Uncredited work that is incorporated into your own writing is considered plagiarism . In
the professional world, plagiarism results in loss of credibility and often com pensation,
including future opportunities. In a classroom setting, plagiarism results in a range of
sanctions, from loss of a grade to expulsion from a school or university. In both
professional and academ ic settings, the penalties are severe. MLA offers artists and
authors a system atic style of reference, again giving credit where credit is due, to protect
MLA users from accusations of plagiarism .
MLA style uses a citation in the body of the essay that links to the works cited page at
the end. The in-text citation is offset with parentheses, clearly calling attention to itself
for the reader. The reference to the author or title is like a signal to the reader that
inform ation was incorporated from a separate source. It also provides the reader with
inform ation to then turn to the works cited section of your essay (at the end) where they
can find the com plete reference. If you follow the MLA style, and indicate your source
both in your essay and in the works cited section, you will prevent the possibility of
plagiarism . If you follow the MLA guidelines, pay attention to detail, and clearly in dicate
your sources, then this approach to form atting and citation offers a proven way to
dem onstrate your respect for other authors and artists.
Five Re as o n s to U s e MLA Style
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
To demonstrate your ability to present a professional, academ ic essay in the correct style
To gain credibility and authenticity for your work
To enhance the ability of the reader to locate inform ation discussed in your essay
To give credit where credit is due and prevent plagiarism
To get a good grade or dem onstrate excellence in your writing
Before we transition to specifics, please consider one word of caution: consistency. If
you are instructed to use the MLA style and n eed to in dicate a date, you have options.
For exam ple, you could use an international or a US style:
•
•
In te rn atio n al s tyle : 18 May 1980 (day/ month/ year)
U S s tyle : May 18, 1980 (m onth/ day/ year)
If you are going to the US style, be consistent in its use. You’ll find you have the option
on page 8 3 of the MLA Handbook for W riters of Research Papers, 7th edition. You have
m any options when writing in English as the language itself has several conventions, or
acceptable ways of writing particular parts of speech or inform ation. For exam ple, on
the next page our MLA Handbook addresses the question:
Which convention is preferred in MLA style:
1.
2.
3.
4.
twentieth century
Twentieth Century
20 th century
20 th Century
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You are welcom e to look in the MLA Handbook and see there is one preferred style or
convention (you will also find the an swer at end of this section m arked by an asterisk
[*]). Now you m ay say to yourself that you won’t write that term and it m ay be true, but
you will com e to a term or word that has m ore than one way it can be written. In that
case, what convention is acceptable in MLA style? This is where the MLA Handbook
serves as an invaluable resource. Again, your attention to detail and the professional
presentation of your work are aspects of learning to write in an academ ic setting.
Now let’s transition from a general discussion on the advantages of MLA style to what
we are required to do to write a standard academ ic essay. We will first exam ine a general
“to do” list, then review a few “do not” suggestions, and finally take a tour through a
sam ple of MLA features. Links to sam ple MLA papers are located at the end of this
section.
Ge n e ral MLA Lis t
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Use standard white paper (8.5 × 11 inches).
Double space the essay and quotes.
Use Tim es New Rom an 12-point font.
Use one-inch m argins on all sides
Indent paragraphs (five spaces or 1.5 inches).
Include consecutive page num bers in the upper-right corner.
Use italics to indicate a title, as in W riting for Success.
On the first page, place your nam e, course, date, and instructor’s nam e in the upper-left
corner.
9. On the first page, place the title centered on the page, with no bold or italics and all
words capitalized.
10 . On all pages, place the header, student’s nam e + one space + page num ber, 1.5 inches
from the top, aligned on the right.
Tip
Depending on your field of study, you m ay som etim es write research papers in either
APA or MLA style. Recognize that each has its advantages an d preferred use in fields
and disciplines. Learn to write and referen ce in both styles with proficiency.
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Title B lo ck Fo rm a t
You never get a second chance to m ake a first im pression, and your title block (not a
separate title page; just a section at the top of the first page) m akes an im pression on the
reader. If correctly form atted with each elem ent of inform ation in its proper place, form ,
and form at, it says to the reader that you m ean business, that you are a professional, and
that you take your work seriously, so it should, in turn, be seriously considered. Your
title block in MLA style contributes to your credibility. Rem em ber that your writing
represents you in your absence, and the title block is the tailored suit or outfit that
represents you best. That said, som etim es a separate title page is n ecessary, but it is best
both to know how to properly form at a title block or page in MLA style and to ask your
instructor if it is included as part of the assignm ent.
Your nam e
Instructor
Course num ber
Date
Title of Paper
Para grap h s an d In d e n tatio n
Make sure you indent five spaces (from the left m argin). You’ll see that the indent
offsets the beginning of a new paragraph. We use paragraphs to express single ideas or
topics that reinforce our central purpose or thesis statem ent. Paragraphs in clude topic
sentences, supporting sentences, and conclusion or transitional sentences that link
paragraphs together to support the m ain focus of the essay.
Table s an d Illu s tratio n s
Place tables and illustrations as close as possible to the text they reinforce or
com plem ent. Here’s an exam ple of a table in MLA.
Table 14.2
Sale s Figu re s
by Ye ar
20 0 7
20 0 8
20 0 9
20 10
Sale s
Am o u n t ( $ )
10 0 ,0 0 0
125,0 0 0
185,0 0 0
215,0 0 0
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As we can see in Table 14.2, we have experienced significant growth since 20 0 8.
This exam ple dem onstrates that the words that you write and the tables, figures,
illustrations, or im ages that you include should be next to each other in your paper.
Pare n th e tical Cita tio n s
You m ust cite your sources as you use them . In the sam e way that a table or figure
should be located right next to the sentence that discusses it (see the previous exam ple),
parenthetical citations, or citations enclosed in parenthesis that appear in the text, are
required. You need to cite all your inform ation. If som eone else wrote it, said it, drew it,
dem onstrated it, or otherwise expressed it, you need to cite it. The exception to this
statem ent is com m on, widespread knowledge. For exam ple, if you search online for
MLA resources, and specifically MLA sam ple papers, you will find m any sim ilar
discussions on MLA style. MLA is a style and cannot be copyrighted because it is a style,
but the seventh edition of the MLA Handbook can be copyright protected. If you
reference a specific page in that handbook, you need to indicate it. If you write about a
general MLA style issue that is com m only covered or addressed in m ultiple sources, you
do not. When in doubt, reference the specific resource you used to write your essay.
Your in-text, or parenthetical, citations should do the following:
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•
Clearly indicate the specific sources also referenced in the works cited
Specifically identify the location of the inform ation that you used
Keep the citation clear and concise, always confirm ing its accuracy
W o rks Cite d Pa ge
After the body of your paper com es the works cited page. It features the reference
sources used in your essay. List the sources alphabetically by last nam e, or list them by
title if the author is not known as is often the case of web-based articles. You will find
links to exam ples of the works cited page in several of the sam ple MLA essays at the end
of this section.
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As a point of reference and com parison to our APA exam ples, let’s exam ine the following
three citations and the order of the inform ation needed.
Citatio n Typ e
Website
Online article
Book
MLA Style
Author’s Last Nam e, First
Nam e. Title of the website.
Publication Date. Nam e of
Organization (if applicable).
Date you accessed the
website. <URL>.
Author’s Last Nam e, First
Nam e. “Title of Article.” Title
of the website. Date of
publication. Organization
that provides the website.
Date you accessed the
website.
Author’s Last Nam e, First
Nam e. Title of the Book.
Place of Publication:
Publishing Company, Date of
publication.
APA Style
Author’s Last Nam e, First
Initial. (Date of publication).
Title of docum ent. Retrieved
from URL
Author’s Last nam e, First
Initial. (Date of publication).
Title of article. Title of
Journal, Volum e(Issue).
Retrieved from URL
Author’s Last Nam e, First
Initial. (Date of publication).
Title of the book. Place of
Publication: Publishing
Company.
N o te : Th e ite m s lis te d in clu de pro pe r p u n ctu atio n an d capitalizatio n acco rdin g to
th e s tyle ’s gu id e lin e s .
Exe rcis e 1
In Chapter 14 "APA and MLA Docum entation and Form atting", Section 14.1
"Form atting a Research Paper", you created a sam ple essay in APA style. After reviewing
this section and exploring the resources linked at the end of the section (including
California State University– Sacram ento’s clear exam ple of a paper in MLA form at),
please convert your paper to MLA style using the form atting and citation guidelines.
You m ay find it helpful to use online applications that quickly, easily, and at no cost
convert your citations to MLA form at.
Exe rcis e 2
Please convert the APA-style citations to MLA style. You m ay find that online
applications can quickly, easily, and at no cost convert your citations to MLA form at.
There are several websites and applications available free (or as a free trial) that will
allow you to input the inform ation and will produce a correct citation in the style of your
choice. Consider these two sites:
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http:/ / www.noodletools.com
http:/ / citationm achine.net
Hint: You m ay need access to the Internet to find any m issing inform ation required to
correctly cite in MLA style. This dem onstrates an im portant differen ce between APA an d
MLA style—the inform ation provided to the reader.
Sam ple Stu de n t Re fe re n ce Lis t in APA Style
1
Brent, D. A., Poling, K. D., & Goldstein, T. R. (20 10 ). Treating depressed and suicidal
adolescents: A clinician’s guide. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
MLA
2
Dewan, S. (20 0 7, September 17). Using crayons to exorcise Katrina. The N ew York Tim es.
Retrieved from http:/ / www.nytim es.com / 20 0 7/ 0 9/ 17/ arts/ design/ 17ther.htm l
MLA
3
Freud, S. (1955). Beyond the pleasure principle. In The Com plete W orks of Sigm und Freud.
(Vol. XVII, pp. 3– 66). London, England: Hogarth.
MLA
4
Henley, D. (20 0 7). Nam ing the enem y: An art therapy intervention for children with
bipolar and comorbid disorders. Art Therapy : Journal of the Am erican Art Therapy
Association, 24(3), 10 4– 110 .
MLA
5
Hutson, M. (20 0 8). Art therapy: The healing arts. Psy chology Today . Retrieved from
http:/ / www.psychologytoday.com / articles/ 20 0 70 5/ art-therapy-the-healing-arts
MLA
6
Isis, P. D., Bus, J ., Siegel, C. A., & Ventura, Y. (20 10 ). Empowering students through
creativity: Art therapy in Miam i-Dade County Public Schools. Art Therapy : Journal of the
Am erican Art Therapy Association, 27(2), 56– 61.
MLA
7
J ohnson, D. (1987). The role of the creative arts therapies in the diagnosis and treatm ent of
psychological traum a. The Arts in Psy chotherapy , 14, 7– 13.
MLA
8
Malchiodi, C. (20 0 6). Art therapy sourcebook. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
MLA
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Sam ple Stu de n t Re fe re n ce Lis t in APA Style
Markel, R. (Producer). (20 10 ). I’m an artist [Motion picture]. United States: Red Pepper
Film s.
9
MLA
Kelley, S. J . (1984). The use of art therapy with sexually abused children. Journal of
Psy chosocial N ursing and Mental Health, 22(12), 12– 28.
10
MLA
Pifalo, T. (20 0 8). Why art therapy? Darkness to light: Confronting child abuse w ith
courage. Retrieved from
http:/ / www.darkness2light.org/ KnowAbout/ articles_ art_ therapy.asp
11
MLA
12
Rubin, J . A. (20 0 5). Child art therapy (25th ed.). New York, NY: Wiley.
MLA
Schim ek, J . (1975). A critical re-exam ination of Freud’s concept of unconscious m ental
representation. International Review of Psy choanaly sis, 2, 171– 187.
13
MLA
Strauss, M. B. (1999). N o talk therapy for children and adolescents. New York, NY:
Norton.
14
MLA
Thom pson, T. (20 0 8). Freedom from m eltdow ns: Dr. Thom pson’s solutions for children
w ith autism . Baltimore, MD: Paul H. Brookes.
15
MLA
U s e fu l So u rce s o f Exam p le s o f MLA Style
•
Arizona State University Libraries offers an excellent resource with clear
exam ples.
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Purdue Online Writing Lab includes sam ple pages an d works cited.
o
o
http:/ / libguides.asu.edu/ content.php?pid=122697&sid=1132964
http:/ / owl.english.purdue.edu/ owl/ resource/ 747/ 0 1
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California State University– Sacram ento’s Online Writing Lab has an excellent
visual description and exam ple of an MLA paper.
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SUNY offers an excellent, brief, side-by-side com parison of MLA an d APA
citations.
o
http:/ / www.csus.edu/ owl/ index/ m la/ m la_ form at.htm
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http:/ / www.sunywcc.edu/ LIBRARY/ research/ MLA_ APA_ 0 8.0 3.10 .pdf
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Cornell University Library provides com prehensive MLA inform ation on its
Citation Managem ent website.
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The University of Kansas Writing Center is an excellent resource.
o
o
http:/ / www.library.cornell.edu/ resrch/ citm anage/ m la
http:/ / www.writing.ku.edu/ guides
* (a) is the correct answer to the question at the beginning of this section. The MLA
Handbook prefers “twentieth century.”
Ke y Take aw ays
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MLA style is often used in the liberal arts and hum anities.
MLA style em phasizes brevity and clarity.
A reader interested in your subject wants not only to read what you wrote but also to be
inform ed of the works you used to create it.
MLA style uses a citation in the body of the essay that refers to the works cited section at
the end.
If you follow MLA style, and indicate your source both in your essay and in the works
cited section, you will prevent the possibility of plagiarism.
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14 .5 APA an d MLA D o cu m e n tatio n an d Fo rm attin g: En d -o f-Ch ap te r
Exe rcis e s
Exe rcis e s
1. In this chapter, you learned strategies for using APA and MLA style docum entation and
form atting in a research paper. Locate a source that uses APA or MLA style, such as an
article in a professional journal in the sciences or social sciences. Identify these key
components of an APA or MLA paper in your exam ple: the abstract, section heads, intext citations, and references list.
2. Check one of your assignm ents for correct APA or MLA form atting and citations.
(You m ay wish to conduct this activity in two sessions—one to edit the body of the
paper and one to edit the referen ces section.) Check for the following:
o
o
o
o
o
All components of an APA or MLA paper are included.
The title page (or title block) and body of the paper are correctly form atted.
In-text, or parenthetical, citations are complete and correctly form atted.
Sources cited within the paper m atch the sources listed in the references or works
cited section.
The references or works cited section uses correct form atting and lists entries in
alphabetical order.
3. As electronic m edia continually change, guidelines for citing electronic sources
are continually updated. Identify three new or em erging form s of electronic
m edia not listed in this text—for instance, virtual com m unities, such as Second
Life, or social networking sites, such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and MySpace.
Answer the following questions:
o
o
o
Under what circum stances would this m edia be a useful source of inform ation for
a research paper? How m ight students use these sources to conduct research five
or ten years from now?
What inform ation would a student need to provide if citing this source? Why?
Develop brief guidelines for how to cite the em erging m edia source types you
identified.
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