Download Connections Obstructions to Communication

Obstructions to
Communication
Connections
Have you ever . . .
• Had difficulty using badly written instructions?
• Received an incomprehensible email from a client?
• Misunderstood a text from a friend?
Errors in grammar and language can seem to make sense to the
writer, but completely confuse the reader. The reason why we
have language rules is so that we can communicate clearly. Some
of the most common obstructions to communication involve confusing word order or too many words.
Imagine two children talking through two tin cans connected by a string. The sound waves
travel across the string from one tin can to the other. If the string is straight and taut, the
sound travels easily. If the string is twisted, tied, or blocked, the sound is obstructed.
Confusing sentences, awkward structure, extra words, dangling modifiers, or illogical word
order can all cause twists and turns in your language. They prevent clear communication
from traveling to your reader.
To clarify sentences, think about your purpose
and audience. What are you trying to communicate? How will your reader understand it?
Then, think about the parts of your sentence.
Who is the actor? What is the action? What are
the important details that need to be included?
Identify the best way to clearly communicate
your idea to the reader.
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Essential Writing & Language Skills
Learn
It!
FREE to Fix Obstructions to Communication
You can identify obstructive language by thinking like a reader. What will your
reader understand from your writing?
Imagine you are writing a speech for a PTA meeting about the overuse of rewards for
children. You have written the following paragraph.
Children benefit from an authentic feeling of accomplishment, and
a participation award or trophy doesn’t provide that feeling. When
receiving trophies for no reason, the trophies don’t have any meaning
that they should have for them. Soon, no trophy or award will have any
meaning for our children. Children need to learn that they can achieve
a reward through work and practice. They shouldn’t think that rewards
are meaningless and arbitrary.
Focus on a Sentence
When you are looking for obstructions to communication, you need to keep in mind the context and organization of your writing. However, it’s still important to look at each sentence
separately. You can identify problematic sentences as you read your writing and then examine them more closely.
?
1. Read through the passage to understand the context and organization of the writing.
Then, choose a problematic sentence to examine for obstructions to communication.
The second sentence has problems that obstruct communication. Focus on this sentence:
When receiving trophies for no reason, the trophies don’t have any meaning that
they should have for them.
Read Aloud
Read the sentence aloud, and think about what you hear. Is the language confusing? Do you
know which words to emphasize? Is it clear what words and phrases reference?
?
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2. Read the sentence aloud. Fix any obstructions to communication that you notice.
Obstructions to Communication
You might notice that the last part of the sentence doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s not clear
who the word “them” references, and “that they should have” seems unnecessary. You
might revise the sentence to eliminate the last phrase:
When receiving trophies for no reason, the trophies don’t have any meaning.
Look for Common Errors
Watch for the following errors:
• Dangling modifiers: Clauses and phrases that describe a word not clearly stated
• Wordiness: Redundant or unnecessary words
• Awkwardness or Illogical Word Order: Unnatural-sounding phrasing that makes the
sentence difficult to understand
?
3. Check the sentence for common errors. Fix any problems that you find.
This sentence contains a dangling modifier. The clause “When receiving trophies for no
reason” is a dangling modifier. Who is receiving the trophies? The sentence doesn’t say. You
might revise this sentence by making it clear who receives the trophies:
When children receive trophies for no reason, the trophies don’t have
any meaning.
Evaluate the Corrected Sentence
Read over the corrected sentence. Can you do anything to improve communication?
?
4. Read the corrected sentence and make any improvements.
You might decide that you could revise “don’t have any meaning” to
“have no meaning” to make the sentence simpler:
When children receive trophies for no reason, the trophies have
no meaning.
Build Your
Writing Skills
Dangling modifiers
are common at the
beginning of the
sentence. When a
sentence begins
with a modifier,
look for the word
it references.
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Essential Writing & Language Skills
e
ic
Pract
It!
Use the following passage for exercises 1 through 4.
A trigger is anything that causes or worsens asthma symptoms.
Asthma attacks can be triggered by many indoor allergens and
irritants, such as molds, dust mites, pet dander, secondhand smoke,
and cleaning chemicals. Having asthma, any individual should look
for which triggers are the ones which trigger that one’s asthma
attacks or worsen them, also. Asthma sufferers may respond
to one or several triggers. Working with a doctor to identify and avoid triggers can help reduce asthma episodes.
1. Read through the passage to understand the context and organization of the writing.
Then, choose a problematic sentence to examine for obstructions to communication.
2. Read the sentence aloud. Fix any obstructions to communication that you notice.
3. Check the sentence for common errors. Fix any problems that you find.
4. Evaluate the corrected sentence and make any improvements.
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Obstructions to Communication
Use the following passage for exercises 5 through 8.
Starting a car share program in our neighborhood is an
excellent project for our community council. A car share
program will save our community members money and
provide transportation for residents who don’t have a
car during the day. Additionally, a car share program will
allow our community to invest in fuel-efficient vehicles. In
a recent poll, 86% of neighborhood residents expressed
interest in joining a car share program. These results of the poll show that there is
enough interest in a car share program in our community and among our community members to make one a financially viable choice for our community.
5. Read through the passage to understand the context and organization of the writing.
Then, choose a problematic sentence to examine for obstructions to communication.
6. Read the sentence aloud. Fix any obstructions to communication that you notice.
7. Check the sentence for common errors. Fix any problems that you find.
8. Evaluate the corrected sentence and make any improvements.
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Essential Writing & Language Skills
Use the following passage for exercises 9 through 12.
Plato said, “When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust
less on the same amount of income.”1 Many complain that a complex tax system
makes it easier for the unjust to avoid paying fair taxes. Remaining controversial,
how to fix the current complex tax system and make it simpler continues to be
elusive. Some favor a flat tax, which would tax income at the same rate for everyone. Proponents say that a flat tax would be both simple and fair. However, others
favor a simplified progressive tax. Under a progressive tax, those who earn less
pay a lower tax rate. Those who earn more pay a higher tax rate. Supporters of a
progressive tax say that it removes an undue burden on the poor and middle class,
shifting a greater tax burden to those who can afford it.
Source: Plato, The Republic, Book 1, approximately 380 BC
9. Read through the passage to understand the context and organization of the writing.
Then, choose a problematic sentence to examine for obstructions to communication.
10. Read the sentence aloud. Fix any obstructions to communication
that you notice.
Writing Tip
To use FREE for
multiple choice
or drop-down
exercises:
11. Check the sentence for common errors. Fix any problems that
you find.
12. Evaluate the corrected sentence and make any improvements.
• Focus on the
whole sentence.
• Read the
sentence with
each answer
choice.
• Check each
answer for
common Errors.
• Evaluate the
sentence with
your chosen
answer.
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Obstructions to Communication
Check Your Skills
Use the FREE process to choose the best answer for exercises 1 through 4.
I am writing to express my appreciation for the excellent service I received at
Bluebell Car Service in Cordova, Vermont. On January 3, I visited the station
(1) Jack Montoya serviced my car
(2)
He completed the oil change
quickly and efficiently, and he also noticed that my car tires needed to be replaced.
(3)
I am very appreciative of the
(4)
1. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 1?
a. to get for my 2005 Toyota Corolla an oil change.
b. to get an oil change for my 2005 Toyota Corolla.
c. for my 2005 Toyota Corolla, to be getting an oil change.
d. for my 2005 Toyota Corolla to get an oil change.
2. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 2?
a. while there.
b. while being there.
c. while I was there.
d. being while I was there.
3. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 3?
a. Because of his help, I avoided the inconvenience and expense of a blown tire.
b. Helping me, I avoided the inconvenience and expense of a blown tire.
c. Because of his help, avoiding the inconvenience and expense of a blown tire.
d. Helping me avoided the inconvenience and expense of a blown tire.
4. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 4?
a. excellent customer service receiving.
b. excellent customer service of which I received.
c. excellent customer service that I received.
d. excellent customer service I was receiving of.
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Essential Writing & Language Skills
Use the FREE process to choose the best answer for exercises 5 through 8.
Vaccines prevent dangerous, even deadly, diseases. Vaccines greatly reduce the
possibility of infection (5) Vaccines imitate infections without causing illness. (6)
do cause the immune system to produce T-lymphocytes and antibodies.
(7)
the false infection may cause minor
symptoms. These symptoms, such as a low-grade fever or headache, are normal
(8)
5. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 5?
a. by the body’s natural defenses causing development of immunity.
b. by the development of the body’s natural defenses into immunity.
c. by causing development of immunity by the body’s natural defenses.
d. by causing the body’s natural defenses to develop immunity.
6. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 6?
a. These imitation infections
b. Imitating infections,
c. When imitating infections,
d. When the infections imitated,
7. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 7?
a. After having received a vaccine,
b. After receiving a vaccine,
c. After a patient receives a vaccine,
d. After a vaccine receiving,
8. Which is the best option to correctly complete blank 8?
a. and should not cause concern.
b. and should be not something to cause concerning.
c. and should not cause concern, worry, or upset.
d. and should not be a concerning aspect or cause.
Remember
the Concept
Use FREE to find and
fix obstructions to
communication.
• Identify potential
problem areas and
Focus on a sentence.
• Read aloud to find
confusing wording.
• Check for common
Errors, including
dangling modifiers,
wordiness, awkward
structure, and
illogical word order.
• Evaluate the
corrected sentence.
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Answers and Explanations
Obstructions to
Communication
page 247
FREE to Fix Obstructions to Communication
Practice It!
pages 250–252
1.The following sentence is problematic:
Having asthma, any individual should look for
which triggers are the ones which trigger that
one’s asthma attacks or worsen them, also.
2–3.The sentence has several errors that you might
find through reading aloud and checking for
common errors. The phrase “having asthma”
is awkwardly placed. Although it does refer
to “any individual,” the word order is unnatural. The phrase “which triggers are the ones
which trigger that one’s” is awkward because
it repeats the words “trigger,” “which,” and
“one” and uses the pronoun “one” in an unclear
way. The verb “worsen” should be “worsens,”
and the word “also” seems awkwardly placed at
the end.
4.The corrected sentence might read:
Individuals with asthma should identify triggers
that cause or worsen their asthma attacks.
5.The following sentence is problematic:
These results of the poll show that there is
enough interest in a car share program in our
community and among our community members to make one a financially viable choice for
our community.
6–7.The main problem with this sentence is wordiness. “These results of the poll” could be stated
more simply: “the poll results.” The phrase “in
our community and among our community
members” is redundant. The writer uses the
phrase “our community” three times.
8.The corrected sentence might read:
The poll results show that there is enough interest in a community car share program to make it
financially viable.
9.The following sentence is problematic:
Remaining controversial, how to fix the current
complex tax system and make it simpler continues to be elusive.
10–11.The phrase “remaining controversial” is awkward. It applies to a lengthy noun phrase, “how
to fix the current complex tax system and
make it simpler.” This lengthy phrase with an
awkward modifier is confusing. Focusing the
sentence’s content and creating a simpler structure will help clarify the meaning. The phrase
“remaining controversial” is also redundant
with “continues to be elusive.” Although “elusive” and “controversial” have different meanings, the author is trying to convey a similar idea
with both.
12.The corrected sentence might read:
The best method to simplify the current complex tax system remains controversial.
Check Your Skills
pages 253–254
1.b. to get an oil change for my 2005 Toyota
Corolla.
This response has the most logical word order.
2.c. while I was there.
This response clearly communicates who
was there.
3.a. Because of his help, I avoided the inconvenience and expense of a blown tire.
The other responses contain illogical word order
and dangling modifiers.
4.c. excellent customer service that I received.
This response has logical word order. The
phrase “that I received” is clear and modifies
“customer service.”
5.d. by causing the body’s natural defenses to
develop immunity.
The vaccines cause the body’s defences
to develop immunity to the diseases. This
choice states the idea the most correctly
and succinctly.
i
Essential Writing & Language Skills
6.a. These imitation infections
The sentence needs a subject, and the other
options are modifying phrases or clauses.
7.c. After a patient receives a vaccine,
This phrase clearly tells who receives the vaccines. The other phrases are dangling modifiers.
8.a. and should not cause concern.
This is the simplest way to complete the
sentence. The other choices are unnecessarily wordy, awkward, or illogical.
ii