Download Student Workbook - Chapter 8

2ND EDITION
Introduction to
Communication Studies
Student Workbook - Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Interpersonal communication
Short questions
Define the following terms in your own words with reference to interpersonal
communication. Compare your definitions of these terms with the literature of chapter 8.
1. I-it and I-you relationships
2. Norms and roles
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3. Interpersonal communication
4. Self-disclosure
5. Loyalty-response to conflict
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6. Schutz’s interpersonal needs theory
7. The dramaturgical metaphor Goffman
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Long questions
1. According to Buber’s theory of interpersonal relationships the basis of human
existence is that people are communicating beings. What is your opinion regarding
Buber’s statement? Write a short summary of about 700 words in which you provide your
opinion on Buber’s statement.
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2. What are the characteristics of interpersonal relationships? Discuss each of the
characteristics and use practical examples to illustrate and support your discussion.
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3. How would you describe the stages of interpersonal relationships? Are the stages
presented in this chapter an adequate way to describe most interpersonal relationships as
you understand and experience them? Motivate your answer.
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4. Explain the characteristics of the typical communication patterns during the deterioration
stages of interpersonal relationships. Identify each coming apart stage and what is
characteristic of the communication during that particular stage.
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5. Communication researcher Jack Gibb felt a need to understand the extremes of
supportive and defensive climates when referring to relationships. Identify the different
types of communication that represent each kind of relationship climate and indicate how
you would go about creating supportive climates in your relationships with significant
others.
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6. Think about an interpersonal relationship where you were recently experienced conflict
between you and the other individual. How did you experience the conflict? How did you
handle the conflict situation? What would you do differently in future?
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7. Conduct an interview with someone from another culture in order to determine how they
handle/manage conflict? How does it differ from your culture?
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8. We live in an era where social media is a part of everyday life and in many cases substitute
face-to-face interpersonal encounters. In what way do you find that social media such as
Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, etc can escalate interpersonal conflict? In what ways might it
help to alleviate interpersonal conflict?
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9. Briefly discuss the importance of dominance, status and power in interpersonal
relationships. Why should we study these concepts and understand their workings within
the context of interpersonal relationships?
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10.Assess your own assertive behaviour in interpersonal communication contexts. How
assertive is your behaviour? Respond instinctively rather than in the way you feel you
should respond. What have significant others said about your level of assertiveness?
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11.Your colleague at work reveals too much private information for your liking. You’re not
interested in this person’s financial difficulties and medical problems. What can you do to
eliminate this too-personal self-disclosure?
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12.Imagine you have just met someone you are very interested in. To what extent are you
willing to alter or manipulate the image of yourself that you present to other people in
order to get ‘closer’ to this person you have an interest in? Is it ethical for you to present
an image of yourself that you feel the other person might want to see?
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13.You are dating a person you really like, but you are both very different in terms of your
views on politics and religion. It’s like being exact opposites, but you do enjoy each
other’s presence. What can you do to encourage more similarity between yourselves
without losing the excitement of the relationship and changing yourselves to suit the
other person?
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14.In the mall you see a mother scolding her child for being naughty. Your first reaction is to
speak up and try and resolve the situation but, on the other hand, it is not your place to
interfere with a mother’s upbringing of her child. What is your ethical obligation in this
case, given the norms and roles of our South African society? What would you do in this
situation?
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Case studies
Case study 1 – Assertive behaviour
Reduce Stress With Increased Assertiveness, By Elizabeth Scott, M.S.
http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/p/profileassertiv.htm
What Is Assertiveness?:
Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings and assert one’s rights while respecting
the feelings and rights of others. Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and
honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person. Assertiveness comes naturally to some,
but is a skill that can be learned. People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able
to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major
source of stress.
How Does Assertiveness Compare to Other Behavior?:
Sometimes people confuse aggressiveness with assertiveness, seeing that both types of
behavior involve standing up for one’s rights and expressing one’s needs. The key difference
between the two styles is that individuals behaving assertively will express themselves in
ways that respect the other person. They assume the best about people, respect themselves,
and think “win-win” and try to compromise. In contrast, individuals behaving aggressively
will tend to employ tactics that are disrespectful, manipulative, demeaning, or abusive. They
make negative assumptions about the motives of others and think in retaliatory terms, or
they don’t think of the other person’s point of view at all. They win at the expense of others,
and create unnecessary conflict.
Passive individuals don’t know how to adequately communicate their feelings and needs
to others. They tend to fear conflict so much that they let their needs go unmet and keep
their feelings secret in order to ‘keep the peace’. They let others win while they lose out; the
problem with this (which I’ll go into in more detail momentarily) is that everybody involved
loses, at least to an extent.
What Does Assertiveness Look Like?:
Here are some common scenarios, with examples of each style of behavior:
Scenario A: Someone cuts in front of you at the supermarket.
An aggressive response would be to assume they did it on purpose and angrily say, “Hey,
jackass, no cuts!”
A passive response would be to just let the person stay in front of you.
An assertive response would be to assume that they may not have seen you in line, and
politely say, “Excuse me, but I was in line.”
Scenario B: Your friend, who can be quite verbose, calls to vent about her bad day.
Unfortunately, you have a lot of work to do and don’t have time to talk.
An aggressive response would be to become angry that she obviously doesn’t respect your
time, cut her off, and sarcastically say, “Oh, get over it! I have my own problems!”
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A passive response would be to let her talk for as long as she needs, and figure that your
deadline can suffer; she needs your help.
An assertive response would be to listen for a minute or two, then compassionately say,
“Wow, it sounds like you’re having a tough day! I’d love to talk to you about it, but I don’t
have the time right now. Can we talk later tonight?”
What Are the Benefits of Assertiveness?:
Assertiveness affects many areas of life. Assertive people tend to have fewer conflicts in their
dealings with others, which translates into much less stress in their lives. They get their needs
met (which also means less stressing over unmet needs), and help others get their needs met,
too. Having stronger, more supportive relationships virtually guarantees that, in a bind, they
have people they can count on, which also helps with stress management, and even leads to
a healthier body.
Contrasting with this, aggressiveness tends to alienate others and create unnecessary stress.
Those on the receiving end of aggressive behavior tend to feel attacked and often avoid
the aggressive individual, understandably. Over time, people who behave aggressively
tend to have a string of failed relationships and little social support, and they don’t always
understand that this is related to their own behavior. Ironically, they often feel like victims,
too.
Passive people aim to avoid conflict by avoiding communication about their needs and
feelings, but this behavior damages relationships in the long run. They may feel like victims,
but continue to avoid confrontation, becoming increasingly angry until, when they finally
do say something, it comes out aggressively. The other party doesn’t even know there’s a
problem until the formerly passive individual virtually explodes! This leads to hard feelings,
weaker relationships, and more passivity.
How Does One Become More Assertive?:
The first step in becoming more assertive is to take an honest look at yourself and your
responses, to see where you currently stand. The answers to the following questions will help
clue you in:
• Do you have difficulty accepting constructive criticism?
• Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to requests that you should really say ‘no’ to, just to
avoid disappointing people?
• Do you have trouble voicing a difference of opinion with others?
• Do people tend to feel alienated by your communication style when you do disagree with
them?
• Do you feel attacked when someone has an opinion different from your own?
If you answered yes to several of these, you may benefit from learning assertiveness skills.
Knowing where you stand on the assertiveness spectrum, and knowing where you want to
be, you can read more on assertiveness training, develop a win-win mentality, and begin
becoming more assertive today!
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Case study 2: Interpersonal relationships
Interpersonal Relationships at Work
http://alex.state.al.us/uploads/7167/Interpersonal%20Relationships%20at%20Work%20
Handout.doc
Read the following case studies involving relationships between coworkers. Read each case
study carefully. Then answer the questions that follow it.
Case 1: Ted is enrolled in a work-education program. Each morning he attends a workrelated class, and in the afternoon he works in a clothing store. One day last week, Ted
learned how to install the tape in the case register. The next day he heard one of the
salesclerks say that the cash register was not working properly. Another salesclerk attempted
to fix the machine but was unsuccessful. Ted approached the two clerks and said, “I think
I can fix it.” One of them remarked, “What do you know about cash registers?” Annoyed
by the remark and feeling confident of his ability to fix the machine, Ted said, “I’ll show
you how to fix it!” He pushed his way in front of the salesclerks, opened the cash register
side panel, rethreaded the machine, and punched the “no sale” key. The machine operated
properly, and the receipt came out. Ted, feeling he had proven a point, walked back to his
own work area without saying a word.
Did Ted prove a point? How will this situation affect his future relations with co-workers?
Case 2: Kayla, who just recently graduated from high school, works for a magazine
publisher. She has been working at her new job as a data-entry clerk for only two weeks.
On her coffee breaks, Kayla likes to go down to the composition department and watch
Juan and Carin use the computers to make up magazine pages. Juan has even volunteered
explanations on how the programs work. Carin has never offered to explain anything to
Kayla. Yesterday Carin told Juan that she had to take special classes to learn the software
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programs, so she didn’t think it was right for Juan to teach Kayla how to use the software.
“Besides,” Carin said, “she might get so good that she’ll take over one of our jobs!”
If you were Juan, how would you answer Carin?
Case 3: Janine began her first job as an assembler in a large manufacturing firm. Lois, one of
the other assemblers, was especially friendly to Janine. They began to spend all their coffee
breaks together. Lois was a gossip, and everyone knew it. Although Janine did not gossip,
she listened to Lois talk about everyone else in the department. Janine soon noticed that
many of the workers were beginning to be very cool and distant toward her, which was
exactly the way they treated Lois.
If you were Janine, how would you have handled your relationship with Lois and with the
other workers in the department?
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Case 4: Like most people, Walter likes to receive a pat on the back for a job well-done. But
his supervisor seldom makes favourable remarks about Walter’s work. Carlos is very careful
about his work, and he receives many compliments from the supervisor. Carlos takes the
compliments well and is not resented by other employees, except Walter. After watching the
supervisor compliment Carlos for doing a fine job on a difficult project, Walter said to Carlos,
“I suppose you think all that butter will get you a raise.” Carlos looked up, said nothing, and
continued his work. Walter went on, “Too good to talk with me, huh? Now that you and
the boss are so buddy-buddy, I guess you can’t associated with the rest of us.”
What is the reason for Walt’s behaviour?
How can you accept compliments on your work and still maintain good relationships with
your co-workers?
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Case 5: Mario is a sales representative who sells building materials for Green’s Construction
Company. He loves the contact with other people and the challenge of his sales job. Mario’s
boss, Mr. Green, is a temperamental man. Mario, however, is always able to present his
thoughts or problems to Mr. Green with positive results. This morning Mario had a problem
involving a lumber shipment to a construction site. He walked into the Green Construction
Company office and noticed that Mr. Green was standing by himself. Mr. Green’s shoulders
were slouched forward, and his hands were on his hips. Mario did not present his problem.
Instead he decided to postpone it until after lunch.
Why did Mario decide to wait to inform Mr. Green of his problem?
When would be a good time to approach Mr. Green? Why?
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Assignments
Assignment 1
Log onto the following website and complete the online communication skills assessment
quiz. After you receive your results, motivate what you will do to improve your interpersonal
communication skills and how you will go about accomplishing this.
http://www.optimalthinking.com/quiz-communication-skills.php
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Assignment 2:
Write an essay (2 to 3 pages) on the following topic:
How has technology influenced your expectations and viewpoints of close and intimate
relationships and typical communication behaviours in these relationships?
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