Download Polish Your Prose

THE PERFECT
PAPER>>
Writing Revision
Polish Your Prose
ONCE YOU HAVE EDITED THE ARGUMENT AND STRUCTURE OF YOUR
ESSAY, YOU CAN FOCUS ON THE WRITING ITSELF. LC SHOWS YOU HOW
TO MAKE ROUGH SENTENCES SHINE. By Sarah Montante
T
he goal of all writing is to communicate,
and the ultimate measure of your work is
clarity. No matter how great your ideas,
they are useless if your reader can’t
understand them. This month’s Perfect
Paper shows you how to give your strong
ideas the clear expression they deserve. Check your
second draft against each of the following principles as
you edit and you will most likely improve not only the
quality of your writing, but also of your thought.
Below is a short list of words that can usually be
eliminated without any loss.
a bit
sort of
in a sense
rather
quite
very
too
pretty much
Try putting brackets around words that might be
superfluous and then read your sentences without them. If
no meaning has been sacrificed, eliminate the extra words.
I was feeling [kind of ] down, so I went for a
walk. I didn’t get [too] far before I ran into my
friend Jane, who cheered me instantly.
36 MAY 2004 Literary Cavalcade
> USE
ADJECTIVES
SPARINGLY
USE
ADJECTIVES
SPARINGLY
Rather than rely on long-winded adjectives, choose nouns
that stand on their own. Refer to a small house as a “bungalow” or “cottage,” and you will not only save space, you
will add color to your writing. Never include adjectives
that tell the reader something she already knows about
the noun, as in “white snow” or “brownish dirt.”
> AVOID
ADVERBS
AVOID
ADVERBS
In most cases, adverbs are redundant to the meaning of
the verb. There’s no need to “slam the door loudly,”
because “slam” already contains the meaning “loudly.”
ILLUSTRATION BY ROB DUNLAVEY
> CLEAN
CLUTTER
CLEAN
UPUP
CLUTTER
In The Elements of Style, William Strunk Jr. and E. B.
White phrased this principle most succinctly: “Omit
needless words.” Good writing is simple, clear, and
direct. As you edit your second draft, look for places
where you can trim extra words, phrases, or even sentences. The resulting paper will not only be easier to
read, but also more effective.
How will you know clutter when you see it? Clutter
is anything that takes up space in your writing without
adding meaning.
Avoid preambles of all kinds in your writing. Never
begin sentences with phrases like, “It is interesting to
note,” “It should be pointed out that,” or “This is a subject that.” Simply begin your thought where it begins
and spare your reader the buildup.
Sometimes the adverb serves as a crutch for a
weak verb. In this case, it is better to find a more
specific verb to do the job. Why cry dolefully when you
can wail? Why criticize harshly when you can excoriate?
Overly long sentence: A prolific writer, Shake-
speare wrote more plays than any other writer in
the history of the English language, which has
sparked a serious scholarly debate over whether
Shakespeare himself could have written so many
plays, and has led scholars to suggest that Sir
Frances Bacon may have written some of them.
sentences: A prolific writer,
Shakespeare wrote more plays than any other
writer in the history of the English language.
The sheer volume of his oeuvre has sparked
debate over whether one man could have written
so many plays, and has led scholars to suggest
that Sir Frances Bacon wrote some of them.
Corrected
> BEWARE
THE
VERB
TO BE
BEWARE
THE
VERB
‘TOBE’
There are two reasons to avoid the verb to be.
1
The verb to be often leads to the use of passive voice,
which is far less effective than the active voice.
> VARY
SENTENCE
STRUCTURE
VARY
SENTENCE
STRUCTURE
Repetition is fine for Dr. Seuss, but not for formal writing. If all of your sentences sound the same, your reader will have little incentive to go on to the next one. Add
a little spice to your sentence structure.
Repetitive sentence structure: Shakespeare was
Passive voice: The sheriff was shot by Bill.
Active voice: Bill shot the sheriff.
The active construction is both stronger and shorter
than the passive one. Use active voice wherever possible in your writing.
2
If you rely too much on the verb to be, you are probably asking your adjectives to do more work in your
writing than they can handle. Verbs are the true muscles of
good prose and should bear the burden of description.
Jane is heartbroken over her fiancé’s death.
Jane mourns her fiancé.
> BREAK
LONG
SENTENCES
BREAK
UPUP
LONG
SENTENCES
The sound of your writing is just as important
as the sense. Try reading your sentences
aloud. If you run out of breath reading a
sentence, then it’s too long. Rather
than torture your reader, divide the
sentence into smaller, more manageable units.
the greatest writer of all time. He wrote many
plays during his lifetime. Shakespeare was a true
genius, writing in iambic pentameter and
inventing enduring metaphors.
Corrected sentences: Shakespeare was the
greatest writer of all time, composing dozens of
plays and poems during his lifetime. A true
genius, he wrote in iambic pentameter and
invented enduring metaphors.
Take the time to follow these principles in
your writing, and the quality of your work—not to
mention your grades—is likely to skyrocket.
The best writers know that a final edit
makes the difference between a second
draft and a perfect paper.
Literary Cavalcade MAY 2004
37