Download Violence in relationships

END VIOLENCE TOGETHER
FOR THE DIGNITY OF EVERY WOMAN
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Presentation Overview
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What Is Violence Against Women?
How Much Does It Happen?
Why Focus on Violence Against Women?
What Is The Impact?
What Can We Do To End Violence Together?
Violence Against Women
is a CRIME and includes:
• Sexual Assault (Acquaintance Rape, Date Rape)
• Violence In Relationships
(Dating Violence,
Domestic Violence, Family Violence, Battering,
Spousal abuse, Intimate Partner Violence)
• Criminal Harassment
(Stalking)
How Much Does It Happen?
“Estimating the prevalence of violence
against women—the number of women in
the population who are affected by
violence—is challenging due to the very
private nature of these experiences.”
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Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistical Trends 2006
Statistics Canada
In Other Words…
People might not talk about abuse because of:
• Not recognizing the abuse as abuse
• Embarrassment
• Shame
• Denial
• Fear of not being believed
• Fear of rejection by partner or peers
• Fear of retaliation or abandonment
• Belief that the abuse is trivial and not worth reporting
• Belief that the abuse is their fault.
Dating Violence: A Fact Sheet from the Department of Justice Canada
How Much Does It Happen?
• Almost 40% of women in Canada have been
sexually assaulted since age 16.
• Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys
will experience some form of unwanted
sexual contact before they reach 16.
Dangerous Domains: Violence Against Women in Canada
Johnson, H., 1996
How Much Does It Happen?
• 31% of sexual assaults happen in
dating or acquaintance relationships
• 9 to 17 year old girls have the highest
rate of sexual assault and physical
assaults by friends or acquaintances
How Much Does It Happen?
• 6% of sexual assaults are reported to the
police in Canada (E Division, RCMP, 2005)
• In the year 2000, 24,000 sexual assaults
were reported to police in Canada.
(Statistics Canada)
• In the year 2000, 3,700 sexual assaults
were reported to police in BC. (Statistics
Canada)
How Much Does It Happen?
• This means that in the year 2000 over
400,000 women in Canada and over 61,000
women in BC were sexually assaulted!
• 61% of sexual offences reported to police
in 2003 involved victims under 18 years old.
About 80% of those victims were girls.
How Much Does It Happen?
• In some First Nations communities in BC, over 90% of
the women have experienced sexual violence.
• 53% of women who live with disabilities from birth
have been raped, abused or assaulted.
• As with all forms of violence against women, immigrant
women, refugee women, poor women and transgendered people are more vulnerable to sexual
violence.
How Much Does It Happen?
• 10,273 incidents of violence in
relationships were reported to BC
police in 2005:
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9% increase since 2004
74% involved a male offender
16% involved a female offender
represents 26% of all assaults in BC
How Much Does It Happen?
Number of spousal homicide victims in Canada 1975- 2004
Newfoundland and Labrador
Prince Edward Island
Nova Scotia
New Brunswick
Quebec
Ontario
Manitoba
Saskatchewan
Alberta
British Columbia
Yukon
Northwest Territories
Nunavut
Female
15
6
62
52
497
753
123
98
244
293
9
22
4
Male
7
1
24
7
87
186
48
59
97
104
5
11
2
Canada
2,178
638
How Much Does It Happen?
• In 2004:
– 75% of criminal harassment (“stalking”)
incidents reported to the police were directed
at women
– 50% of the women were stalked by a person
with whom they had an intimate relationship
– Stalking is the number one risk factor for actual
and attempted murders of women (McFarlane
et. Al, 2002)
– 90% of people reported for stalking are men
Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistical
Trends, Statistics Canada, 2006)
– Two thirds (66%) of all criminal harassment
incidents occurred at the victim’s home.
Types of Violence Experienced by Women in Canada, 2004
Beaten, choked,
used a gun/knife,
sexually assaulted
(99,060)
39%
Threatened, threw
something (27,900)
11%
Pushed, shoved,
slapped (101,600)
40%
Kicked, bit, hit, hit
with something
(25,400)
10%
Rate of Criminal Harassment Against Women, By Age
In Canada, 2004
45 years and over
14%
under 25 years
41%
34 to 44 year olds
18%
25 to 34 year olds
27%
Why Focus on Women?
• International Agencies such as
the United Nations, the World
Health Organization, and
Amnesty International have
identified violence against women
as a global human rights issue.
Why Focus on Women?
• Women are more likely than men to
be the victims of the most severe
forms of spousal assault, as well as
spousal homicide, sexual assault and
stalking.
Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistical Trends 2006
Statistics Canada
Why Focus on Women?
Women are:
– 6 times more likely than men to report being
sexually assaulted
– 5 times more likely to require medical attention
as a result of assault
– 3 times more likely to be physically injured
– Almost twice as likely to report being
threatened with or having a gun or knife used
against them
– Much more likely to fear for their lives or the
lives of their children
Spousal Abuse: A Fact Sheet From the Department of Justice Canada
What is Violence Against Women?
Sexual Assault
• Any form of sexual contact without a
person’s consent, including the threat
of sexual contact without consent
• Can range from unwanted sexual
touching to forced sexual intercourse
What is Violence Against Women?
Sexual Assault
• Level 1: Sexual Assault [s.271]
• Level 2: Sexual Assault with a Weapon,
Threats to a Third Party, or Causing
Bodily Harm [s.272]
• Level 3: Aggravated Sexual Assault
[s.273]
What is Violence Against Women?
Sexual Assault
151
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155
163.1
Sexual interference with a person
under age 14
Invitation to sexual touching with a
person under age 14
Sexual exploitation of a person aged
14 and under 18
Incest
Covers child pornography
What is the Impact?
Sexual Assault
• Psychological/emotional:
–Fear of physical injury, mutilation and/or death
–Anger
–Humiliation
–Shame
–Guilt
–Shock
–Sleep disturbances
What is the Impact?
Sexual Assault
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Serious physical injuries
Unwanted pregnancies & miscarriages
STDs including HIV/AIDS
Headaches & fatigue
Loss of appetite/nausea
What is the Impact?
Sexual Assault
•Self Blame
•Loss of hope
•Minimization/Denial
•Loss of a Sense of Esteem
•Loss of a Sense of Power
•Shattering of World View
•Loss of a Sense of Safety & Trust
What is the Impact?
Sexual Assault
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Addictions
Self-esteem
Self-injury
Suicidal ideation
Fears/anxiety
Physical symptoms
Dissociation
experiences
• Sexual difficulties
• Eating disorders
• Emotional
difficulties
• Sleep disturbances
• Relationship issues
• Parenting issues
What is the Impact?
Sexual Assault
Family members may experience:
• Anger
• Helplessness
• Shock
• Disbelief
• Guilt
• Fear
These may be directed at the survivor
What is Violence Against Women?
Violence In Relationships
Violence in Relationships
• Physical assault: hitting, punching, choking,
slapping, pulling hair
• Sexual assault: any form of forced sexual activity
• Threats and Intimidation
• Emotional abuse: insults, intimidation, control,
isolation, mind games, put downs
• Financial abuse: controlling, stealing and
withholding money
• Spiritual/cultural abuse: restricting spiritual or
cultural practices or beliefs
• Murder
Violence In Relationships –
The Law
• The Canadian Criminal Code has no specific
offence called “violence against women” or
“spousal assault”.
• Criminal Code provisions that most
commonly apply include the offences of
assault, sexual assault, criminal
harassment, threats of violence, forcible
confinement and homicide.
Violence In Relationships - Pregnancy
In Canada, 1 In Every 5 Women
Assaulted By A Partner Is Assaulted
During Pregnancy
Statistics Canada, Family Violence in Canada, 1999
Canadian Women’s Foundation’s Violence Against Women Fact Sheet
Violence In Relationships - Children
• Death & Injury
In Quatsino, Jay Handel
killed his six children.
• Witnessing
Almost 40% of women
assaulted by spouses said
their children witnessed the
violence against them (either
directly or indirectly) and in
many cases the violence was
severe. In half of the cases of
spousal violence against
women that were witnessed by
children, the woman feared
for her life.
What is the Impact?
Violence In Relationships
Children who are exposed to violence in the home
suffer from emotional trauma, have poor educational
outcomes, and are at increased risk of using violence
to solve problems.
Berman, H., J. Hardesty and J. Humphreys. 2004. Children of abused
women.
What is Dating Violence?
It is one form of violence in
relationships; in a dating relationship
one person uses abuse to gain power
and keep control over their
partner. This abuse can be physical,
emotional, or sexual.
What is the Impact?
Dating Violence
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A person who is being abused may have:
Low self-esteem
Withdrawal
Depression
Nervousness
Unexplained cuts, bruises, scrapes, burns or
bite marks.
What is the Impact?
Dating Violence
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A person who is being abused may:
Stop participating in things they enjoy
Have little or no interest in family activities
Have difficulty sleeping
Not be able to concentrate
Experience memory problems
Start missing school more, or
Experience a drop in their grades.
What is Violence Against Women?
Criminal Harassment
On August 1, 1993, the Criminal Code was
amended to create the new offence of criminal
harassment. It was introduced as a specific
response to violence against women,
particularly to domestic violence against
women. However, the offence is not restricted
to domestic violence and applies equally to all
victims of criminal harassment.
Criminal Harassment: A Handbook For Police And Crown Prosecutors.
Department of Justice Canada
What is Violence Against Women?
Criminal Harassment
Examples of Criminal Harassment:
•calling you over and over again, and
perhaps hanging up whenever you answer
the phone
•contacting you on the Internet or
through constant e-mail messages
What is Violence Against
Women? Criminal Harassment
• following you, your family or friends
• leaving threatening voice messages
• sending you gifts you do not want
• watching you or tracking where you go
• threatening you, your children, family, pets or
friends
Criminal Harassment: A Handbook For Police And Crown Prosecutors. Department of
Justice Canada
What is Violence Against Women?
Criminal Harassment
While many crimes are defined by conduct
that results in a very clear outcome (for
example, murder), criminal harassment
generally consists of:
• repeated conduct that is carried out over
a period of time and that causes victims to
reasonably fear for their safety but does
not necessarily result in physical injury.
Criminal Harassment: A Handbook For Police And Crown Prosecutors.
Department of Justice Canada
What is the Impact?
Criminal Harassment
Some common responses by victims to the trauma of
being stalked include the following:
•self-reproach;
•a tendency to downplay the impact of the stalking;
•interpretation of the stalking as a “private matter”;
•a sense of betrayal and stigma;
•anxiety and fear, due to the unpredictability of the stalker’s
conduct;
•feelings of being helpless and unable to control their lives;
•lack of confidence in police, resulting in a failure to report;
•inaction, due to a lack of awareness that the conduct is criminal;
and
•denial or embarrassment.
Criminal Harassment: A Handbook For Police And Crown Prosecutors.
Department of Justice Canada
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
Using violence and intimidation to get your own way in
relationships often works in the short run, but it will
cost you in the long run -- you will lose self-respect and
the respect and affection of others.
Stopping violence in relationships means doing a lot of
work on yourself. Here are some tools that others have
found useful in doing this work. If you use them every
day it will get easier, but it takes time, so don't give up
on yourself!!
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
NO EXCUSES
The first thing you have to do to stop violence
and other abuse in a relationship is to stop
making excuses and blaming the other person.
Make a promise to yourself and to your partner
that you will not be violent - no matter what
happens. Remember, there is no justification
for abuse. If you are abusive, it's YOUR
problem.
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
TIME-OUT
The most important tool to learn is simply to take "timeout" when you feel yourself getting angry.
Leaving a situation temporarily before you lose it always
works.
It's simple, but it's not always easy to walk away from
conflict or argument when you're getting angry, when you
want to win, when you know you're right, when abuse has
worked in the past.
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
TALK YOURSELF DOWN
You may not realize it, but you make YOURSELF angry. Most
anger is caused by what we say to ourselves about the
situation, not what happens or what other people do. Just
listen to what you say to yourself when you are upset blaming, calling people names and threatening.
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive
Behaviour
TALK YOURSELF DOWN
• You can make yourself so angry that it seems natural
to be violent or abusive. Instead, try "talking yourself
down" when you get upset. Say things to yourself like,
"Why am I so mad?" "Is this worth it?" "I can handle
this better if I calm down." When you take time- out,
you need to talk yourself down.
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
STAY STRAIGHT
Many people who have a problem with violence and
abuse also have a problem with alcohol or other
drugs. Both problems need work.
People with both problems have to stay clean before
they can stop violence and other abuse. After they
are straight, they may still be abusive, but at least
they have a chance to work on the problem.
STAY STRAIGHT
• If you try to stop being abusive while you are
still getting loaded, it will never work.
Ending Violence Together
Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
TALK WITH SOMEONE ELSE
If you are often violent or abusive, you
probably don't talk to others about your
feelings. This means that the pressure rises.
If you don't have close partners outside your
main relationship, you end up depending too
much on your partner. It's a setup for anger
and abuse if something goes wrong.
Adapted From: Tools for Ending Abusive Behaviour
Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, Family Violence Project 1993
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
•Let your friend know that you believe what they have
told you -- chances are the situation is worse than what
they tell you.
•Encourage but do not pressure your friend to talk
about the abuse. Allow them to say as much or as little
as they want in their own words.
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
• Reassure your friend that they are not causing the
abuse. The abusive person learned to use abuse as
a way of controlling their partner long before they
met.
• Let your friend know that abusive relationships
always get worse without outside help.
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
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Tell your friend that they are not alone in their
situation. Abuse in relationships happens to many
people, especially girls and women. People of all
races, sexual orientations, ages and social classes
are victims of abusive partners.
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Your roles as a friend is to support, not rescue.
Point out different options available to your friend
and help them evaluate each one.
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
• No matter how tempting it is to bad-mouth
the abusive partner, stop yourself. Most
people who are in abusive relationships want the
abuse to stop but want the relationship to
continue.
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
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Help your friend with self-esteem. Tell them what
you admire about them; why you value them as a
friend; what their strengths and special qualities
are.
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Support your friend’s emotions: fear, anger,
embarrassment, hope, and grief over the loss of the
relationship, etc..
Adapted From: How to Help a Friend. Battered Women’s Support Services
Ending Violence Together
How to Help A Friend
• Take care of yourself! Helping a friend who is in
an abusive relationship is very difficult. You need
to look after your own well being too. Talk with
other friends or family about your feelings
without giving away your friend’s name or
betraying them.
Ending Violence Together
Support Services
o VictimLINK (1-800-563-0808)
o Over 400 service programs to assist in violence
against women and children including:
o Community-Based Victim Assistance Programs
o Stopping The Violence Counselling
o Outreach Programs
o Transition Houses
o Safe Homes
o Second Stage Housing
o Children Who Witness Violence
o Helpline for Children (310-1234)
Insert Agency or Program
Name
• Insert any info you think might be
helpful about your services your
contact info and how to get to you
What would you do?
Case Study
Lucy’s Story
• Last night I went out to a party with my friends and
ran into my ex, John. We broke up because he was
like Jekyll and Hyde – sweet one minute, mean the
next minute. He was out with his friends and he
seemed like he was pretty wrecked – probably drunk
or high or both. He was yelling at me from across
the kitchen, calling me and my friends names. I
went to the dining room but as soon as I sat at the
table John walked past me and pushed me. I fell on
the ground and he stood over me laughing, calling me
a loser and a drunk. I was so embarrassed I just
got up and left.
Lucy’s Story
• John called this morning and said he is
really sorry and he is going to go see a
counsellor. He really wants to get back
together but I just don’t know… I think
I love him but he kind of scares me!
Case Study
1. Is Lucy in danger?
2. How could you help Lucy?
3. How could you help John?
4. How would you plan for your own safety?
QUESTIONS
DISCUSSION
END VIOLENCE TOGETHER
FOR THE DIGNITY OF EVERY WOMAN
Funding for the production of this presentation was provided by the
BC Ministry of Community Services and created by the BC
Association of Specialized Victim Assistance and Counselling
Programs