Download the love that God has for us!!!

A husband and wife have been slowly drifting away from one
another. The husband ended up having an affair with a coworker
and his wife cannot forgive him. While she cannot divorce him for
financial reasons, she will not engage him as a wife any longer.
Last time we finished by identifying what the
problem was with the thinking of the wife and
what her greatest hazards were with the way
she was thinking. What did we conclude?
1
The cause of her heartache was that she was
It is
Be
so
sure
reasonable
to
grasp
to
the
focus
satanic
on
the
seduction
sin
of
others
and
how
when
looking to her husband to validate her value,
it hurts us,powerful
but if we itdo,
is we
withstrengthen
this hazard.
the power of
which she did because she did not make Jesus
our own pain and bondage. It is only when we focus
and
His
thoughts
about
her
the
center
of
her
on the Lord in the pain that we are able to see the
value.
purpose that God brings through the sin of others
andhusband
the life and
freedom
that
When her
stepped
out
ofresults.
the marriage,
her value as a wife and a person was destroyed.
Her greatest hazard is that she could focus on
her husband’s failure rather than her own. She
needs to see that God allowed the affair so that
He could do a wonderful work in BOTH of them.
2
So
she is,
It ishere
common
–
seething
in her
andto
certainly
It is because God allowed the sin of BOTH
identify
hurt,
pushing him
understandable,
the wrong and to purify
Philosboth
Love their hearts. Both of
away
hoping
butand
NEVER
them are functioning out of a love for self,
and
he will
get itpure
right
profitable!
agape love, with GodInsecurity
operating from the
center,
is
by being
pushed
Why?
away. So
out of the questionFrustratio
with their current choices.
what
nLOVE = God
Agape
would God say
SELF LOVE = god
Emptiness
BLAME
3
to her?
He might say something like:
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden,
andALWAYS
I will giveknow
you rest."
11:28
1. You
thereMatthew
is something
wrong with you if you see that your joy is
gone – NO exceptions.
2. NEVER look at the failures of others if
you see that your joy is gone no matter
how tempting it might be, even if it is
clear that someone else has in fact
sinned.
3. If your joy is gone, come to Me, let Me
clear your head and touch your heart and
heal you.
4. Stay with Me at least until you are healed.
4
The
I haven’t
emptiness
explained
in self
“sensuality”
is due
and
absence
“idolatry”
God,
yet.
This
always
amazes
me,
but to
thethe
reason
whyof
people
who
Have
isyou
theever
ONLY
noticed
internal
how
supply
whenof
people
all
things
are
Philos Love
continue
in
this
external
search
for
internal
necessary,
internally
good
bankrupt,
and
pleasurable.
they they
move
into
When
external
there
and
isthe
no
So
“sensuality”
a problem
when
the
things
of
satisfaction,
isis
because
have
not
yet
been
internal
sensory
supply
satisfaction?
because
self
Dotoyou
is
god,
know
there
that
no other
is?
senses
are
given
theInsecurity
responsibility
towhy
fill
burned
severely
enough
drive
them
toisspiritual
change.
Frustratio
Look
place
at they
our
to
go
chart
but and
to
the
see
external
iffill.
youthey
can
world
seefor
why
internal
there
needs
that
only
God
can
Idolatry
is
anything
When
have
lost
enough,
will
come
to theis
nLOVE = God
Agape
satisfaction.
Often
internal
the
only
bankruptcy.
wherelose
people
other
God
that
you
giveplace
the responsibility
tofind
fill
Lord. than
Sadly
there
are
those
who
never
enough
SELF LOVE = god
atmake
least them
the temporary
illusion
of
satisfaction
is
in
your
needs.
to
despair
of
self.
We
should
guard
our
Emptiness
things
substance
sexual in
BLAME thatabuse,
hearts
fromlike
thefood,
foolishness
is so confident
promiscuity or perversion,
the self.recreational escape,
unbridled spending… which NEVER satisfy but do
destroy.
5
heresy
is what
people
to like
restructure
I’m not
talking
wanton
“God
AEmbracing
great
example
ofabout
this
would
beheresy,
ado
father
who
never
their religion
toof
make
more
palatable
for
the
Philosit
Love
wants
us
to
use
drugs
in
our
religion,
and
have
touches
a
drop
alcohol,
will
not
utter
certain
Heresy is an attempted diversion that capitalizes on
appetites
of their
flesh.
It
ismovies,
like
throwing
aown
bone
to
temple
prostitutes.”
I’m
talking
about
adjusting
truth
“bad”
words,
never
goes
to
won’t
a
TV
To
embrace
a
bunch
of
laws
about
things
that
you
some point of law which is strictly kept so that other
Him
off
your
case
for
other
things
that
toGod
make
itget
palatable
to
our
flesh;
things
that
we
don’t
or to
use
the
internet,
but
thinks
nothing
about
really
don’t
care
that
much
about
anyway,
so
that
Insecurity
elements of truth may be ignored.
Frustratio
matter
deeply
to
you.
mind
giving
up
so
we
can
pursue
the
things
we
do
screaming
at
and
threatening
his
kids.
The greatest
you can turn away from
loving
your
children,
loving
nLOVE = God
Agape
like.
commandment
isSELF
to love
God
and
to
love
others
others and even
loving
your
enemies
with
selfLOVE = god
more thanagape
self, but
that
is a commandment
is
sacrificing
love
is simply
“acceptable”that
heresy.
Emptiness
dismissed, almost like BLAME
purchasing an indulgence by
the things he doesn’t do so he feels free to abuse his
kids.
6
Eros Love
Think
When
Could
about
Adam
anyone
it.and
Ifreally
this
Eve is
decided
expect
my pitiful
to
tohave
eject
condition,
any
Godkind
from
amofIthe
not
a
What do we need to have permanently written to our
core
loving
ofsatisfying
myself
their lives,
with
life
from
a truly
under
their
unconditional
these
agape
dominating
love,
love?
the
Source
Am
I
Philos
Love
lust
hearts from what we have learned
so far?
of
notLove
believing
was ejected
everything
characteristics?
and an
myunconditional
flesh tells me?agape
Am Ilove
not
patiently enduring
forwith
self
unconditional
took
over.
love
all
of
the
Insecurity
Frustratio
destruction
my flesh causes?
AgapenLOVE = God
SELF LOVE = god
Emptiness
BLAME
7
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love
does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act
unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not
provoked, does not take into account a wrong
suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but
rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love
never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they
will be done away; if there are tongues, they will
cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."
1Cor 13:4-8
8
9
I need to share something with you that is
The
essential
Atfirst
veryhas
best,
for
been
you
it only
my
to consider.
view
provided
Maybe
me
birth:
with
The
God
very
need
is
Unfortunately,
my
flesh
hadfrom
commandeered
that
going
to concept
be
temporary
loved
to grab
and
somebody
and
to discern
short-lived
with
when
itcomfort,
and
others
givethat
do,
him
and
or
and
rewritten
it
so
as
to
mean
that
inevitably
her apeople
newbaited
perspective
dowhat
me
not,with
athigher
aME.
critical
expectations
moment.
when
did
Ilove
wanted,
they
loved me,
andwhen
hopes
anddid
then
menot
in painful
and
they
not,dashed
they did
love me.
There are two different
worlds
that
determine
disappointment.
how we see self and how we interpret our
relationships to others that we can occupy, that
have different and even opposing perspectives
that we must be able to identify.
10
Let me hasten to say that God created us with
To
live,
does
looking
want
to us
be to
loved
beHe
loved,
aschose
a top
and
priority
loved
in
theGod
need
to be
loved,
and
to
love us,
perfectly,
this world
butiswhen
guaranteed
we
seekmisery,
first
toabuse
be loved
andwe
making
it a
perfect
situation.
make ourselvesdisaster!
supremely vulnerable.
But as I said, when we don’t look to God for
love, or receive it from God through a person
who loves with agape love, that need goes
unfulfilled and is easily exploited by others who
will use our need to extract what they want from
us. They offer the promise of “love” as bait so
they can extract what they want.
11
Look at the internet. How many women and
It
We
isdo
know
What
their
that
sets
God
choice
them
made
up
to
for
make
usthis
tobeing
be
misery?
loved,
loved
but
a
girls
youown
know
who
have
been
seduced
and
priority
people
without
seek
as
that
aispriority
need
to
from
God. awe
Sowhen
seeking
love
as giving
alove
priority
one
system
abused
by
predatory
men
on
the internet?
world
that but
doesn’t
to give,
they
can
occupy,
whathave
is theany
other
system
that
How
and
why
does
it
happen?
destroy their
own
lives
through
we can live and thinktheir
by? desperate
choices
which their
makeneed,
themlooking
vulnerable.
Women
telegraph
for love
and attention, and predators look for needy
women. They say things to gain confidence
and trust until they have the opportunity to take
and abuse.
12
The other is absolutely revolutionary to
If it ever sees “SELF”,
is only to assess what
commonitthought.
it has so that it might give to someone else –
It
is
the
NEED
to
love
others
with
a
selfbecause it knows that the Father is its own
sacrificing
and
totally
unconditional
love.
abundant supply. It is impossible to experience
an unmet
need.
Because it is rooted
in the
Father, it has NO
NEED, except to love without condition. It has
no need to be loved and will love
unconditionally no matter what is or is not
returned.
13
So let me finish this thought with two
statements for you to remember regarding
these two systems you can inhabit.
If you live with a focus on loving others with an
unconditional, agape love, you can NEVER be
damaged.
If you live focused on being loved and needing
love from anyone but God and those through
whom His love flows, you can NEVER be whole.
14
I hope you have all had the chance to exercise
Even
if
you
are
able
to
identify
selfyour
skills
in
the
identification
of
selfishness
in
What can we use to fill the need in our hearts
centeredness
in
your
thinking
process,
you
still
your
thinking
processes
over
the
last
two
that
seduces
us you
to sowill
many
thoughts
about
In other
words,
NEVER
be able
to
desperately
need
a
driving
force
to
expel
it
and
weeks.
what
the “SELF”
wants?
What
do we have from
overcome
selfishness
and
the destruction
that
replace
it
with
something
that
will
fill
the
I would
say will
ofit,
myself
thatus
before
weproperly?
began this
Godfollows
that
empower
todiscipline.
live
by exercising
vacuum
that
made
selfishness
attractive
to
you
study,
I had
skills
in identifying
There
are almost
actuallyno
two
driving
forces.
in
the
first
place.
selfish thinking in my own life, and the
relationship destruction was the proof.
Just remember that real healing of the heart
only begins with the ability to identify the flesh
in our thoughts and values.
15
The highest reason is probably not the most
ItSo
is
attractive
What
few
exquisitely
offirst
usdue
are
step
simple,
to
motivated
remains
our condition
perfectly
for
by those
theadapted
but
desire
who
mustto
are
tobe
see
our
pathetic
God
mentioned
entangled
glorified
circumstances,
by
asand
selfishness
at least
pleased,
a and
reason
so
so
uniquely
that
that
forthe
may
thepowerful.
glory
future.
not be
of
the most likely
God drawing
is
What
not is
a priority?
it?
point for us today.
Our highest reason is the glory and the
pleasure of God. We were created for this
purpose, to know, to become intimate with God,
and by our engagement with Him, experience
His glory, His life and Person so that when
people see us, they see God in us.
16
"Deliver me from my enemies, O my God; Set me
securely
away
from
thoseiswho
rise upwrong
against
That is on
nothigh
to say
that
there
anything
me.
Deliver
me from
those
iniquity
And save
with
David’s
prayer
– ifwho
Goddohas
allowed
an
me enemy
from men
bloodshed.
For behold,
they have
tooftouch
your fleshly
comfort,
it is set
an because
ambush for
life; Fierce
men
an attack
Hemy
wants
you to
seelaunch
how fragile
againstcomfort
me, Not is
forwhen
my transgression
my sin, O
it depends nor
on for
SELF.
Lord," Psalm 59:1-3
What is the inspiration for David’s fervency in
this prayer?
17
"Now when the attendant of the man of God had risen
What
The
Learn
How
reality
difference
this
do
now:
you
ofout,
the
account
do
An
danger
you
infatuation
see
for
and
between
thethreat
with
difference?
is clearly
SELF
prayer
early
and
gone
behold,
an
army
with the
horses
and
David saw an enemy that threatened his life,
chariots
was
the city.
his servant
saidthe
to
identical
will absolutely
so
of circling
David
theprevent
difference
and
that
an And
accurate
in
ofmentality
Elisha?
perception
and
which
caused
theyour
fear view
that drove
him
toyour
God
Do
you
see
how
of
God,
and
him,
“Alas,is
my
master!
weperception
do?” So
identification
of what
of
real,
need
andisWhat
what
due shall
to
is the
temporal
andhe of
(which
isofwhy
God
allowed
it). in how
subsequent
view
self
plays
so
heavily
answered,
“Do
fear, NEVER
for those
who are
with
us are
self insignificant.
and
itsnot
relationship
toforget
Almighty
that!
God.
you
interpret
what
is are
going
around
you,
and
more
than those
who
withon
them.”
Then
Elisha
how it
impacts
your
thoughts
andno
choices?
Elisha
saw
God
therefore
enemy
or
prayed
and
said, and
“O
Lord,
I pray, saw
open
his
eyes that
to his
life
prayed
servant
hethreat
may see.”
And
theand
Lord
openedthat
the his
servant’s
eyes
would
see thethe
only
reality.was full of
and he saw;
and behold,
mountain
horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."
2 Kings 6:15-17
18
David and Elisha’s servant saw a threat to their
lives and safety.
Elisha saw a whole bunch of lost people, on
their way to hell, that needed to have an
experience that would cause the reality of God
to shake their world and open them to their
need.
Nobody sees a need for God without first
seeing their own pitiful, helpless and culpable
position. THEN they want God!
19
So long as you are dedicated to selfWe
all must depend
on Jesus,
living
His life to
in
preservation,
self-focus,
you will
be unable
our
to provide
power
to expelpeace
selfsee bodies,
God’s reality
whichthe
brings
constant
focus
fromwhat
us and
us the love might
for others
no matter
thegive
circumstances
be –
that will
allow
us to sacrifice
for them.
which
happens
to be theourselves
ONLY reality.
Discipline and determination will NEVER pull off
Just remember that real healing of the heart
the life of Jesus in us.
only begins with the ability to identify the flesh
in our thoughts and values.
20
21
What would you guess is the most significant
Let’s thing
take athat
shot
at Bible
identifying
each phrase
the
says about
love? and
what each of them teaches so that we can
"We haveassimilate
come to know
and
have
believed
the
their significance.
love which God has for us. God is love, and the
one who abides in love abides in God, and God
abides in him." 1 John 4:16
22
"We have come to know and have believed the
love which God has for us. God is love, and the
one who abides in love abides in God, and God
abides in him." 1 John 4:16
What would it mean to you if you had come to
“know” the love which God has for you?
As you might have anticipated, this is the word
“γινώσκω” which is the knowledge that comes
through personal experience. So you could
translate the Greek as “We have come to
experience the love that God has for us.”
23
"We have come to know and have believed the
You should
alsohas
remember
that when
the
verbs
love
which God
for us. God
is love,
and
the
Canclustered
you an
tellenormous
me
what
isGod,
that and
isand
being
are
likein
that,
itneed
is point
for
we
We
have
toemphasis
“experience
and
one
who
abides
lovethat
abides
in
God
should
pay particular
attention
to
thefor
point
to believe”
theemphasized?
love
that God
has
us!!!that
abides
in him."
1 John
4:16
is being emphasized.
Why do you suppose John added “believing” to
“knowing” the love that God has for us?
“It is the same as though he had said, “We have
known by believing;” for such knowledge is not
attained but by faith. But we hence learn how
different, is an uncertain or doubtful opinion
from faith.” Calvin
24
"We have come to know and have believed the
love which God has for us. God is love, and the
one who abides in love abides in God, and God
abides in him." 1 John 4:16
I have to tell you that in the Greek the line “God
has for us” actually reads “God has IN us.”
25
“This is the same ἐν ἡμῖν that was found in verse 9.
Love
is
invisible
and
arguably
useless,
and
It
does
not
mean
“to
us”
(A.
V.),
“in
us”
(R.
V.),
“in
Pay very close attention to the prepositions and
certainly
not
satisfied
until
it
meets
its
object
–
our case”
(R.
V.
margin),
the
German
an
uns,
etc.;
the associations that are stated in the
and
are
the
object
of
God’s
infinite,
but
“inYOU
connection
with
us,”
ἐν
being
used
in
its
prepositions in our next verse.
uncontainable,
unrelenting,
inescapable
original meaning,
the connection
being the love!
one
which the context indicates, here the fact that God’s
love succeeded in connecting itself with us. For that
reason, too, John says “the love which God has in
connection with us” while in the next breath he
repeats from verse 8: “God is love.” Lenski
26
"By this the love of God was manifested in us,
This
Do
that
you
isGod
the
see
has
word
why
sent
“διά”
literally
Hiswhich
only
everything
begotten
means that
“by
Son
way
weinto
do,
of,
the
think
by
world
means
and
sosay
of,
thatis
aswe
to
a consequence
come
might as
livea through
result
of Him”.
ofHim."
the
1John
4:9
function of God’s love
doing
what it does best
in you?
God released His love inside of us and through
us to others around us so that we can actually
LIVE THROUGH Him.
27
"We have come to know and have believed the
love which God has for (in) us. God is love, and
the one who abides in love abides in God, and
God abides in him." 1 John 4:16
So our first preposition here tells us that we
know by experience and believe the love that
God has placed IN us by connecting Himself to
us, that is, there is an association, a union
between us as individuals and God, and the
God who is love now resides inside of us.
Somehow that love, the God who is love living
in us, changes everything about US.
28
"We have come to know and have believed the
God
LOVE!
The
remains
in God,
will
love IS
which
God
hasone
forwho
us. God
is love,
and the
findwho
Godabides
alwaysinabiding
in him,
living
one
love abides
in always
God, and
God
out His life, thinking
choosing
in our mortal
abides inand
him."
1 John 4:16
bodies.
Our second preposition talks about us abiding
in love. Our third preposition tells us that the
one abiding in love does in fact abide in God.
So what does this description begin to
reinforce?
29
"We have come to know and have believed the
Towhich
this point
to see
thereand
is athe
love
Godwe
hasneed
for us.
Godthat
is love,
and intimate
between
onecritical
who abides
in love relationship
abides in God,
and God
loving, God’s
love abiding
abides
in him."in1 us,
John and
4:16 remaining
in that love so that there is free flow between
Our last
tells
thatbecause
if we remain
in
God
andpreposition
us, and those
weus
love
of God
love, we will remain in
inGod
us. and God will remain
in us – does that sound like association?
30
"We have come to know and have believed the
This
"The
is one
veryGod
who
important
doesfor
not
because
it
not and
know
thatthe
if
love
which
has
us.love
Goddoes
ismeans
love,
we do
not
God,
love,
forin
we
God
aren’t
isabides
love."
“experiencing”
1 John
4:8andGod.
one
who
abides
love
in
God,
God
abides in him." 1 John 4:16
What do you suppose it means that “God is
love” and why is he telling us that?
We need
tofind
lookthe
at same
the context
get the
We
line into
verse
8. whole
picture.
31
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from
God;
everyone
who
isGod.
born
of God
Verse
7and
says
that love
isloves
from
Verse
8and
says
It
is
important
to
realize
that
if
man
is
not
Someans
what
is
it
that
mankind
is
sharing
when
what
It
that
it
is
a
fundamental
impossibility
to
knows
The
one is
who
does
not that
loveonly
doesway
not
God
IS God.
love.
If God
love,
then
the
intimately
connected
to
God
so
God
can
they
share
has
no
point
of
contact
with
God
love
with
agape
love
apart
from
God
in
us
doing
know
God,
Godman
is love.
By is
this
thelove
loveintimate
of order
God
that
ainperson
can
truly
love
through
love
man,for
then
is
imitating
in
who
IS
love?
the
loving!
in us,tothat
God
hashesent
His only
interaction
with
God.
towas
usemanifested
a phony
love
get
what
wants
from
begotten
Son
into
the
world
so
that
we
might
live
others who believe he loves them.
through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but
that He loved us and sent His Son to be the
propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us,
we also ought to love one another. No one has seen
God at any time; if we love one another, God abides
in us, and His love is perfected in us." 1John 4:7-12
32
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from
God; and everyone who loves is born of God and
knows God. The one who does not love does not
know God, for God is love. By this the love of God
was manifested in us, that God has sent His only
begotten Son into the world so that we might live
through
Him.
In
this
is
love,
not
that
we
loved
God,
but
When we know God we produce His fruit.
that He loved us and sent His Son to be the
propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us,
we also ought to love one another. No one has seen
God at any time; if we love one another, God abides
in us, and His love is perfected in us." 1John 4:7-12
33
"and the life was manifested, and we have seen and
testify and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was
with the Father and was manifested to us— what we
have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that
you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our
fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus
Christ.” 1John 1:2-3
“The basic fact is stated in 1:3, our fellowship with
the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. The
elaboration spirals upward from this pivoted fact of
fellowship. We are shown all that joins us to God,
that we are in him, he in us (“remains in us,” 3:24).”
Lenski
34
We must come to this one conclusion if we want to
live a satisfied life, and that is to conclude that there
is absolutely NOTHING that we can or should
attempt to do safely.
Until we come to that very essential conclusion
where we look only to the Lord to interpret for us
what we see, and then the appropriate response,
we are going to find ourselves doing foolish and
vulnerable things that take life from us rather than
receiving the things that cause us to enjoy it.
35
36
One of our greatest points of frustration with
We
And
in then
misery
what
anddo
unsatisfied
we do of
with
lives,
that?
which
lifelive
comes
from
the
collision
our
original
Marriage
Do
Realizing
drives
Ityou
means
isknow
usdesigned
this
to
that
deeper
what
kind
if I am
all
by
of
self-commitment
of
God
cruising
love
this
to
flows
really
satisfy
along
tomeans?
you
only
in
and
ainone
design
and
our
poor
life
management
skills.
relationship,
abundance
way.
misery,
When
and
from
like
a then
husband
aGod
marriage
wecauses
tell
loves
ourselves
oryou
his
a friendship,
wife
to be
that
out
secure
life
ofand
a
God designed us to thrive in agape love with
Ipure
and
pretty
have
takes
agape
become
much
away
love,
stinks
disappointed
all
and
fear
but
hisand
for
wife
the
even
inloves
it
few
and
concern
things
him
question
out
and
weof
Him and with everyone we meet. That is what is
its
agape
have
lets
value,
you
or
love,
do
live
it is
that
each
your
NOT
bring
seeing
life
because
us
in total
only
some
ofpeace
the
the
form
other
other
in
of any
release,
and
person
and
not
going to happen in heaven. But what do we
consuming
and
(which
we play
isthem
probably
out
all for
our
circumstances.
selfish
lives
whatthe
Ipurposes,
am
best
going
thatonly
to
we
tell
can
then
experience under our own direction? The best
is love
under
myself
truly
the
asand
circumstances
I abandon
completely
thatthat
realized.
dissatisfying
we create.
It might
we can muster without God animating our love
relationship).
be better if one
It isloves
reallywith
because
agape,I have
and itbegun
can
is a totally self-seeking love. We try to love, but
that
enrich
relationship
the experience
on theof
desolate
both, but
foundation
it can only
of
because it is self-centered rather than Godself-love
reach its
andfull
then
potential
become
under
disappointed
God’s design.
when it
centered, it is at very best, totally self-focused
does not satisfy.
and therefore can NEVER be satisfying for
anyone including us as we languish!
37
"So when they had finished breakfast,
Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son
of John, do you love Me more than
these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You
know that I love You.” He said to him,
“Tend My lambs.” " (John 21:15,
NASB95)
New American Standard Bible :
1995 update. 1995. LaHabra, CA:
The Lockman Foundation.
38
"Beyond all these things put on love, which is the
perfect bond of unity. " (Colossians 3:14, NASB95)
We have problems trusting God because we are
more confident in ourselves than we are in God.
Understand this: God is the only one who can open
your eyes to see your profound trust in yourself, and
you will NEVER be able to switch your trust in self to
God without His direct action.
39