Download Putting it all together: Paragraphing and Peer Review

Welcome to Effective Writing 1- CM 107
Christine Danelski, Ph.D.
REVIEW OF UNIT 6:
THE FIRST DRAFT
Overview of Unit 7:
Revision
UNIT 6 REVIEW:



Unit 6 Reading & Viewing:
Course Overview: Link to pdf “Writing Types &
Tools” and link to video “Kaplan Online Library
Research Tutorial”
Reading: Two readings on how to overcome
writer’s block, readings on creating outlines from
The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing and a
Writing Center ppt presentation on outlining and
a second Writing Center ppt presentation of
writing a strong first draft! All are useful. Check
them out!
UNIT 6 REVIEW:
Discussion Board: Generate ideas for your Unit 6
Project by creating a fun and original dialogue
between two people and respond to two postings
by fellow classmates. (Note: In the sample
posting on the DB one full citation is included for
a reliable source of information used in the
dialogue.
Unit 6 Project: Write a 400-500 word draft using
at least 2 reliable sources with APA formatting
and citations. A separate title and reference page
should be included.
UNIT 6 REVIEW:


Learning Journal: Think about what effective
writing is to you. Define it in your own words and
pick one piece of writing you remember that you
think demonstrates effective writing. It should be
nonfiction rather than a poem, short story or
novel. Who wrote it, what is it about, and why do
you think this piece of writing is effective?
Learning Activities: Continue grammar review
with a focus on pronoun use, making sure that
when you write, you choose the appropriate form
of the pronoun (I or me, for example), along with
making sure that the pronouns you use are
correct.
ARE THERE
ANY
QUESTIONS
FROM
UNITS 1-6?
UNIT 7 OVERVIEW: READING &
VIEWING
See Unit 7 Overview for pdf link on editing and
revising.
 For information on the peer-review process,
review Chapter 16 of The KU Guide to Successful
Writing
 For help with beginning the revision process,
review the following Writing Center workshop
recording:
https://khe2.adobeconnect.com/_a769721248/p357
75361/?launcher=false&fcsContent=true&pbMod
e=normal

UNIT 7 OVERVIEW: DISCUSSION
BOARD


For this Discussion, post the draft of your Final Project essay you
submitted to the Unit 6 Dropbox. (Do not attach the project file.
Simply cut and paste the draft part.) Along with your draft, help
your classmates to see what you need help with by writing a short
paragraph explaining to them what you see as the strengths and
weaknesses of your draft and telling them what you already plan
to work on to make the draft stronger. This will give your
classmates help with offering the most valuable constructive
advice possible.
Then select two classmates’ drafts to respond to. Remember to
spread the wealth. Do not review a classmate’s draft if that
classmate already has received two peer reviews. This will
guarantee that everyone gets helpful advice.
UNIT 7 OVERVIEW:



Seminar: Review of Unit 6 Assignments & Overview of
Unit 7 or do Option 2 by Friday.
Learning Journal: This week, you are in effect helping to
mentor your classmates by offering them advice on
improving their drafts. Has anyone ever served as a mentor
to you or have you yourself served as a mentor to someone
else? Describe a specific situation where you were either a
mentor or someone being mentored, focusing on how this
experience was helpful to both you and the other person or
people involved.
Learning Activities: Solving problems with sentence
structure.
SCHEDULE YOUR TIME FOR
REVISING
Make a schedule for revising and stick as closely
to it as possible.
 Do not revise the entire essay in one sitting.
 You can do it all if you begin now! 

REMEMBER THE PROCESS . . .
The most common way students get “lost” in
the essay is by not following the process for
writing.
 The topic, thesis, and outline have been
parts of this process.
 The draft and receiving feedback will be
important parts of the same process; all this
work is connected.
 Take time to make time; create a schedule
for your work so that you can juggle all the
responsibilities in your life.

SEEKING HELP
Ask for help when you need it!  Your
instructor is eager to help, but many times
cannot help on the day before a project is
due because there is not enough time.
 Also use the Kaplan Writing Center as part
of your writing process from beginning to
final draft.
 What other helpers, resources, and
“amulets” exist?

BUILDING PARAGRAPHS
Let’s look at how one student organized her
work.
 On the next page, you’ll see a highlighted
paragraph. The functions of each
paragraph have been highlighted as:
 1: Topic Sentence
 2: Supporting Details
 3. Closing Sentence

BODY PARAGRAPHS


Example body paragraph (thesis key point 1): topic
sentence, support, closing sentence
At the outset, Internet publishing promises writers
powerful representation from major book vendors. For
example, many Internet publishers have deals with
industry giants such as Barnes and Noble and Amazon. In
exchange for shared royalties, these booksellers list,
promote, and sell both self-published and so-called “virtual
reads” to their customer base (Lowell, 2005). This powerful
marketing tool means that a writer can self-publish while
having the selling advantage of those who have waited a
long time to find print-publishing acceptance. This
advantage can be attractive, as seen in the over 59 percent
2004-2005 increase in self-published and electronic books
(Lowell, 2005). As more booksellers agree to sign on for
print-on-demand and e-book partnerships, the reading
world can expect more authors to take this virtual
publishing route.
REVISING AND EDITING
What is
the
difference
between
revising
and
editing?
REVISING: REVIEWING THE STRUCTURE,
AUDIENCE, AND PURPOSE
Step 1: Review each body paragraph of the essay:
• Check the structure
• Check the topic, supporting, and closing sentences for
expression
• Check the evidence
• Consider the modes used/that could be used
Step 2: Review the introduction:
• Check the main parts of an introduction
• Check the functions of an introduction
Step 3: Review the conclusion:
• Check the main parts of a conclusion
• Check the functions of a conclusion
Step 4: Consider your target audience
Step 5: Review the purpose
WHAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR REVISING A PAPER?

Revising means “to look at [the content] again.

Focus on the ideas and their expression

Read out loud

Get away for a while

Use a helpful acronym:

ARMS: Add? Remove? Move? Substitute?

FACT: Fit? Add? Cut? Test?

Use invention strategies

Review discarded ideas (e.g., the “trash” file)

Any other successful strategies?
WHAT IS EDITING? WHAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR
EDITING A PAPER?
• Get away for a while
• Read it out loud
• Make your words work!
• Check the last word in sentences. Are they working?
• Don’t be boring!
• Add variety in diction and syntax
• Use parallelism
• Check coherence (e.g., transitions)
• Check for punctuation—under use and over use
• Don’t be “Double-Preposition Man/Woman”
• Check for typos and wrong words
• Avoid lapsing into the informal first or second person in an academic paper.
Narrating your internal thought process should also be avoided.
• Avoid unnecessary jawbreaker words and “triangulation strangulation.”
• Other tips?
PROOFREADING VERSUS SPELL
CHECK
Spell check is a good first pass of your document,
but it should not be relied on to catch every error.
For example, spell check won’t catch misused
words, only misspelled words.
 The same goes for Noodletools and other writing
resources.
 They are good tools, but you must be the one who
knows how to use them.

MISUSED WORDS
Homophones—words that sound the same but
have different spellings
 Homonyms—words that sound the same and
look the same. However, they have different
meanings.
 Since the words sound alike but have different
meanings, homophones won’t usually be caught
by spell check.

I or eye?
Its or it’s
Defiantly or Definitely?
HOMOPHONES
Examples of these words are:
affect vs. effect
there, their, they're
too, two, to
then vs. than
loose vs. lose
elicit vs. illicit
lead vs. led
may be vs. maybe
principal vs. principle
desert vs. dessert
DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES IN THESE
PAIRS?
Most stores (except/accept) American Express.
 The (affect/effect) of the storm was frightening.
 Carmen is (already/all ready) in class.
 Marcus is under the (allusion/illusion) that he is
famous.

AS YOU EDIT . . .
Keep in mind that a sentence does not have to be
brief to be effective; long sentences can be
worthwhile, too.
 In fact, an essay’s sentence length and structure
should vary.
 Some sentences should be brief and others should
be longer.
 Punctuation and the “sound” of sentences should
vary.
 However, every word should be necessary.

PARAGRAPH WITH TOO MANY
SHORT SENTENCES

Autism may be caused by injections. Specifically,
the injections given to infants are suspect.
Booster shots for tetanus, measles, and
Diphtheria may contain thermasol. Thermasol is
a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004).
Preservatives are added to give the drugs a
longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to
process mercury. This may put those people at
risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than
500%, particularly those with a familial tendency
toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).
PARAGRAPH WITH TOO MANY LONG
SENTENCES

It seems impossible to not see the link between injections
for children and the rise of autism in our country. Because
American children receive a host of preventative
inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella,
diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many
experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections
are problematic in the long term. With millions of dollars of
profit at risk, pharmaceutical companies are choosing to
include a mercury preservative that gives these injections a
longer shelf life. Thermasol, the mercury preservative in
question, leaves a residue behind in the system, and in
particular the nervous system (Tyson, 2004). Interrupting
the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at
risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%,
particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism”
(Jackson, 2006, p.7).
PARAGRAPH WITH A BALANCE

It seems impossible to not see the link between injections
for children and the rise of autism in our country.
Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect.
Because American children receive a host of preventative
inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella,
diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many
experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections
are problematic in the long term. Thermasol is a
preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004).
Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf
life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury and the
nervous system suffers. Interrupting the way the way the
brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing
autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those
with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006,
p.7).
WHAT QUESTIONS ARE THERE ON APA STYLE AND FORMAT?
ARE THERE ANY REMAINING
QUESTIONS OR TIPS ON REVISING OR
EDITING?
LOOKING AHEAD TO UNIT 8:

Reading:
For advice on writing strong introductions and
conclusions, review the following Writing Center
information:
http://khe2.acrobat.com/p44415570/
 For help with revision strategies, review the
following Writing Center information:
https://kucampus.kaplan.edu/DocumentStore/Docs11/
pdf/WC/RevisionWorkshop.pdf
 The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, Chapter 14,
pp. 169-204k

LOOKING AHEAD TO UNIT 8:

Discussion Board:
Part One: For this part of the Discussion, think about all this feedback
and write a statement briefly summarizing these suggestions, focusing
on what you think are the most helpful suggestions you have received.
Then write a brief plan for moving forward with your revision of your
draft. Be positive and remember that feedback is intended not to point
out errors but to help you to make your writing stronger.
 Part Two: For Part Two of this Discussion, using the reading
assignment from The KU Guide to Successful Writing and the Writing
Center material on writing effective introductions and conclusions,
write or revise the introduction and conclusion to your Final Project
essay draft and post them here.
 Respond to two classmates’ primary posts.

LOOKING AHEAD TO UNIT 8:
Seminar: Review of Unit 7 & Overview of Unit 8
 Quiz: Grammar Post-Test



Learning Journal


This Quiz is worth 50 points. Remember that you can
review any of the Grammar Review lessons covered in Units
2-8 before you take this Quiz.
For your final journal entry, please reflect on the following
issues: What are you most proud of in your writing
development so far? What skills have you learned and how
are they helping you to become a stronger writer? What is
the Project you are working on now teaching you about
yourself, your writing skills, and the subject you are writing
about?
Learning Activities

Avoiding confusing words: View workshop & take pretest.
THANKS FOR ATTENDING LIVE SEMINAR!
Remember most of the work is due Tuesday at 11:59
pm. Option 2 for the seminar is due Friday at 11:59
pm.
 You can reach me via email or chat with me before
or after class via AIM: CDanelski2 or
[email protected].
 Time management is the key to success!
