Download For successful development of a country ,government should spend

5. For successful development of a country ,government should spend more money on education
of very young children (3-10years old)than university education 大学生的表达
Disagree:1. Since college students will be the pillar of society ,who determine the national
competitiveness and international status , university education deserves more investment from the
government.
2. Cultivating university students costs more money than young children .
3. Compared with the tuition of the elementary schools, the tuition of university is extremely high
so that a majority of parents are exhausted themselves to make money ,in order to provide their
children with an irreplaceable chance to gain university education.worse yet ,there are still
countless people who fail to obtain chance to go to their dream school as a consequence of poverty
Currently , a controversial issue over whether or not government should spend more money on
education of very young education than university education than university education in order to
achieve successful development of the whole country ,has brought into spotlight. Some advocates
that due to the fact that the importance of young children overshadows that of college students ,
more money are supposed to invest on the development of young children . cardinal as it looks at
first sight , over cultivation of young children fail to guarantee the success of the whole
society .therefore , i note university education severs as catalyst for advancement of the whole
society.
First of all ,Since college students will be the pillar of society ,who determine the national
competitiveness and international status , university education deserves more investment from the
government.it is universally acknowledged that university students are the hope of country’s
future . In fact ,The various sorts of competitiveness between countries are the fierce
competitiveness between university students from different countries . According to a survey
conducted by the youth magazine among several developed countries and developing
countries ,the improvement and the international status of a country is in accord with the number
of people in this country who accept the higher education .as a result , we should attach more
importance to the university education .
Second, compared with the foster of very young children , Cultivating university students costs
more money .granted that in order to impart the chemical knowledge to students efficiently and
vividly , universities have to supply advanced facilities and large amount of chemical materials for
students . Besides , imagining that for equipping students with cutting-edged knowledge about
astronomy , it is inevitable for universities to invest money on the telescope and radio receivers .
When comes to these huge expenses , the investment from government acts as a significant
contributing factors to the development of the students .
Furthermore ,Compared with the tuition of the elementary schools, the tuition of university is
extremely high so that a majority of parents are exhausted themselves to make money ,in order to
provide their children with an irreplaceable chance to gain university education.worse yet ,there
are still countless people who fail to obtain chance to go to their dream school as a consequence of
poverty. It is great possibility that because of the lack in money , many students lose the cherished
opportunity to go to university and , in turn , this will spur a massive loss of the talented people
for the whole country . Therefore , there exists a possibility that though once the whole
development of the country is peerless , due to the loss of the elites it falls behind .
Take into consider of all factors discussed above ,we may reach a conclusion more investment and
attention should paid on the university education. (35min)(484min )
修改后
For successful development of a country ,government should spend more money on
education of very young children (3-10years old)than university education
Currently , a controversial issue over whether or not government should spend more
money on education of very young education than university education in order to
achieve successful development of the whole country has brought into spotlight. Some
advocates that due to the fact that the importance of young children overshadows that of
college students , more money are supposed to invest on the development of young
children . cardinal as it looks at first sight , over cultivation of young children fail to
guarantee the success of the whole society .therefore , i note university education serves
（sever 是断绝的意思啊。
。是 serves 吧）as catalyst for advancement of the whole society.
开头段太长啦，尽量言简意赅一点。
First of all ,Since college students will be the pillar of society ,（为什么那么喜欢用逗号，
没必要啊。你记住，英文中的逗号很不讨喜，除非是状语后，其他地方都没有什么必要加上）
who determine the national competitiveness and international status , university education
deserves more investment from the government.it is universally acknowledged that
university students are the hope of country’s future . In fact ,The various sorts of
competitiveness between countries are the fierce competitiveness between university
students from different countries . According to a survey conducted by the youth
magazine among several developed countries and developing countries ,the
improvement and the international status of a country is in accord with the
number of people in this country who accept the higher education .as a result ,
we should attach more importance to the university education .
文笔不错，内容这一段也比较充实~~
Second, compared with the cultivation/development（名词动词你要分清） of very young
children , fostering university students costs more money .granted that in order to impart
the chemical knowledge to students efficiently and vividly , universities have to supply
advanced facilities and large amount of chemical materials for students . Besides ,
imagining that for equipping students with cutting-edged knowledge about astronomy , it
is inevitable for universities to invest money on the telescope and radio receivers . When
（It）comes to these huge expenses , the investment from government acts as a
significant contributing factor（前面是 a，后面是 factors） to the development of the
students .
你要细心~~细心要从平时养成~~
Furthermore ,Compared with the tuition of the elementary schools, the tuition of university
is extremely high so that a majority of parents are exhausted to make money ,in order to
provide their children with an irreplaceable chance to gain university education.worse
yet ,there are still countless people who fail to obtain chance to go to their dream school as
a consequence of poverty. It is great possibility that because of the lack in money , many
students lose the cherished opportunity to go to university and , in turn , this will spur a
massive loss of the talented people for the whole country . Therefore , there exists a
possibility that though the whole development of the country was peerless in the past
years , it falls behind during current days due to the loss of the elites .
Take into consideration of all factors discussed above ,we may reach a conclusion more
investment and attention should paid on the university education. (35min)(484min )
总的来说，算比较赏心悦目了~~注意下细节部分~~
不会的东西：
造成损失 suffer great losses/at a heavy cost
大量的 a massive loss of/a mass of /abundant/plentiful/a large amount of/plenty of/a number of
大学生 undergraduate
因为的短语（除了 due to ）because /on account of /for /in that /since it
“很有可能”的句型 it is more likely that / it is highly possible that / it is great possibility that
/there exists a possibility that
重要的 cardinal /significant/ consequential /vital/essential / eminent
As a result 的替换词/as a consequence of /at last / finally
In turn 的用法 otherwise/
国家的竞争是人才的竞争 怎么表述