Download It`s Not About the Food!

Eating Disorders: It’s not about the food!
In my work with women with eating disorders, I often hear concerned parents,
partners, and spouses ask questions about the food…“Why can’t she just eat like a
normal person?”, “If she just ate, everything would be fine!”, “What if she only ate
healthy food instead of junk food?”. Contrary to what we learn in the popular media, an
eating disorder is not really about the food at all. While the behavior with food is indeed
one of the primary symptoms providing clues that someone is struggling with an eating
disorder, the behavior with food is not the reason for the eating disorder.
Often, there are multiple factors contributing to an eating disorder (i.e. stress, anxiety,
trauma, and relationship issues). More importantly, the key ingredients underlying an
eating disorder are the emotions and how these women attempt to deal with or avoid
them. Essentially, these women “act out” their emotions through their behavior with
food (i.e. restricting food, binging on food, purging food). While the origin and
development of an eating disorder can be individual to each woman’s life story, there are
common themes that tend to precede the development of an eating disorder.
1. Disordered Thinking: Eating disorders often begin with “disordered thinking”
before they evolve into disordered eating. Therefore, the way women think about
topics such as food and weight are helpful clues to whether one has “disordered
thinking”. Women with “disordered thinking” tend to get lost in messages about
food and weight and develop unrealistic expectations about what they should eat
and how much they should weigh. Food may begin to be labeled as “good
“versus “bad”. Specific body shapes and sizes may begin to be designated as
acceptable versus unacceptable. A negative view of one’s body often develops.
2. Unbalanced Relationships: Many women with eating disorders tend to act
similarly in their relationships with people as they do in their relationship with
food. Some women tend to “stuff” or “restrict” their feelings from others. Later,
these feelings may be “purged” in a big explosion of anger. Other women may
express their feelings often, even inappropriately at times, needing to constantly
“fill up” or “empty”. Most importantly, these women tend to have interpersonal
relationships where the giving and receiving is not equal—where they take up too
little or too much space in the presence of other people and have difficulty finding
a reciprocal balance.
3. Low Self-Esteem: Women with eating disorders often have a low sense of selfesteem and self-acceptance. While the reasons for low self-esteem and selfacceptance can vary, these women often feel like they are “not enough” or “too
much” of something. Sometimes their efforts to be “enough” can take on
perfectionist tendencies in other areas of their life, including food and weight.
Often times, this sense of low self-esteem and self-acceptance can be seen in their
negative body image, where they find that their bodies do not have “enough” or
“too much” of something. Essentially, their body and their weight evolve into
becoming a measure of their worth.
4. Developmental Transitions: Eating disorders tend to develop around times of
developmental transition or major life events. Situations that involve change or
create anxiety can be overwhelming (i.e. puberty, transitioning to high school,
transitioning to college, marriage, and divorce). When developmental transitions
occur to women who have difficulty managing their emotions, the added change
can be stressful enough to disrupt one’s previous way of functioning. Being able
to focus on something in which they control the degree of change, such as food
intake, can provide a level of comfort in times of turmoil.
If you or someone you know appears to be struggling with an eating disorder, think
about how one or all of these themes relate. Eating disorders do not evolve because a
person has issues with food. They evolve when a person is struggling with unresolved
issues.