Download Welcome to the VOCA2 Mentor Training course

Welcome to the VOCA2 Mentor Training course.
The mentoring process is summarised in the table below.
Phase
Lead (Start)
Tools
Build trust
Mentoring agreement
Active listening
Follow up (Intermediate)
Goal setting
Conversation (proactive goal setting)
Power questions
Get out of the way (Completion)
Action plans
Feedback
Recorded online sessions
Watch a recording of the meeting with Connie Friman explaining the basics of mentoring here.
http://flashmeeting.open.ac.uk/fm/fmm.php?pwd=d05aee-6209
The online session facilitated by Hanne Andreassen on questioning techniques took place at 12.00 GMT
on December 1. See the online session here.
Length of the course: 5 days (six hours each day)
Assessment will be through the maintenance of a learning portfolio based on the learning outcomes set out
in the course below.
Community of practice: However the course is delivered, whether blended, face to face or through distance
learning, course participants should also become members of the VOCA2 community of practice for their
country and draw on the experience and guidance of the members of that wider group in discussion. For
example the English language community can be accessed at http://moodle.ghs.dk/course/view.php?id=53
The Concept of Mentoring
Objective: To achieve an overall comprehension of the concept of mentoring
Outcome: is when you have a clear picture of your role as a mentor being able to communicate it to others
1. The Concept of Mentoring
1.1 What is mentoring?
Mentoring is

the process in which an experienced colleague is assigned to an inexperienced individual and
assists in a training or general support role.

a form of teaching that includes walking alongside the person you are teaching and inviting him or
her to learn from your example.

when organizations have mentoring programs designed to promote employee development.
MENTOR
A mentor is a person who acts as a guide and an adviser. He/she is a role model, one that you can learn
from, and one who is interested in passing on knowledge, experience, thoughts not to mention insights to
others as inspiration for personal and vocational growth.
Your role as a mentor includes being
· a counsellor and a guide
· a fellow-partner and a challenger
· inspirational
· willing to speak from experience
As a mentor you offer :
Information
Mentors share their knowledge, experiences and wisdom.
Contacts
Mentors provide valuable opportunities by facilitating academic, career, and personal contacts.
Challenges
Mentors stimulate curiosity and build confidence by presenting new ideas, opportunities and challenges.
Support
Mentors encourage growth and achievement by providing an open and supportive environment.
Goal Setting
Mentors help the mentees discover talents and interests and define and attain their goals
Advice
Mentors guide the mentee in reaching academic, career and personal goals.
Role models
By sharing stories of achievement with the mentee, mentors can become role models.
Mentee
A mentee is a person who has a mentor. She has specific professional and personal goals which she wants
to talk to a more experienced person with.
A mentee takes up an active role as the one who seeks advice and guidance. As a mentee you must make
clear how you want to benefit from the mentorship. You must be active in any respect and be willing to learn
and to see things from new perspectives.
If you want to know more
Watch this 14 minute video showing mentors for disabled college students.
http://www.washington.edu/doit/Video/opendr.html
Don't forget to consult the discussions in the VOCA2 Community of Practice at
http://moodle.ghs.dk/course/view.php?id=53
Task: Use this forum to reflect with your course colleagues on the concepts of
· Mentoring
· The role of a mentor
· The role of a mentee
Collect all the suggestions and find similarities
By the end of the discussion - you will have the definitions of the various roles.
1.2 Where does the concept come from?
The word ”mentor” dates back to the Greek mythology, in fact from the narrative about
Odysseus, where Mentor was an old friend of Odysseus. That ”Mentor”-friend of his
took care of his wife and son, while Odysseus was gone on his long-lasting journeys.
Task:
Discuss: Have you heard the word “Mentor” before?

and if so – from where?
1.3 Who were your mentors?
Here is an example of a mentorship:
Not everyone will make the same mistake I did. I skied into an area that was posted as dangerous. A week
later I woke up in hospital with a permanent injury to my spinal cord. I would never be able to walk, let alone
ski. I was in constant pain. As far as I was concerned my life was over. I would need a wheelchair for the rest
of my life. I would forever be dependent on others; no driving my car, no job, no dating, and no sex. Who
would want to be with a cripple? I know I wouldn’t. I had visitors for a while, but eventually they stopped
coming. My attitude and condition was probably too much for them. I felt completely helpless, hopeless, and
despondent. One day a guy with a grey beard wheeled in to see me. He crashed right into my bed and let
out a cheery, “Whoops!” That was my introduction to Matt. He lost his legs in a car crash. He knew what I
was thinking before I knew it myself. But he listened to my self-pity and endless complaining. And he always
asked me, at the end of my diatribe, “What do you want to do about it?” Often he would share with me what
he did about it—the struggles, the frustrations, the disappointments. He told me about his job in a computer
warehouse, about his play-making ability on a wheels basketball team, and he told me about the intimacy
and sex he had with his girlfriend. But mostly he listened and challenged me to get on with my life. I’m
playing on the same basketball team now, and I even outscored him.
See more at http://www.mentors.ca/testimonials.html
Some people have a tremendous impact on our lives – looking back we surely remember some of those who
were our guiding stars - from our childhood, school days, and later in our choice of career.
Task :
Use this forum to exchange examples of people who have had a strong impact on your lives in a positive
way.
1.4 What do mentors do?

Task: In what way does a mentor carry out his mentorship?
1.5 Why mentoring?
More and more mentorships are being established all over the worl d and in many different fields. Why?
Task:
discuss with the group

Why is mentoring being used more and more often?
2.Being disabled
Objective: To achieve a broad view on different kind of disabilities
Outcome: to be able to use your understanding of disabilities making allowance for his/her
limitations
2.1 Reflection on participants' own experiences
It might be difficult to understand the obstacles that people with different disablilities meet in their lives –
whether obstacles to mobility or communication or other people’s reactions. So what could be more
instructive than trying to identify with the disabled and experience a day full of obstacles like the ones
mentioned. “Learning by doing” is often the best way to achieve a better understanding and hence be more
aware of how to tackle new and challenging situations.
Task: Select a visual problem (that blocks the central area of the visual field), a hearing deficit (using soundreducing earplugs), a motor disability (using a wheelchair, using crutches, or wearing splints on the fingers of
your dominant hand), or a psychological disability (not talking for the day).
During the day note both your own and others' reactions. Report and discuss your experiences in the forum
below.
Activity based on an idea from http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=77007549
Task: Report and discuss your experiences of your day spent in 'someone else's shoes'.
2.2 Issues facing disabled people
Other than physical and psychological issues no doubt disabled people are facing
various kinds of concerns in our society – from prejudice to ignorance and from
shyness to embarrassment.
To clarify the above statements watch the 9-minute film:
http://www.drcgb.org/employers_and_service_provider/employment/the_appointment_film.aspx
Task:
Does this type of film serve a useful purpose? Who could benefit from it?
What issues regarding disability does the film raise?
What do you think of the way in which these issues have been tackled?
If you had been making such a film what issues would you have covered? If the same issues, then would
you have wanted to cover them in a different way?
Does Alan need a mentor? Is his reaction to his illness appropriate?
How do you think Alan felt when told by his colleague that she had suffered from manic depression for
years? Does he have a right to feel like this?
Should she have disclosed her manic depression when she applied for the job?
What issues regarding disability does the film raise? What do you think of the way in which these issues
have been tackled?
3. Qualities and skills of a mentor
Objective: to understand the importance of good communication skills
Outcome: to be able to get your message across without misunderstanding of any kind by using the
appropriate ego states in each situation
3. Qualities and skills of a mentor
3.1. Communication – verbal and non-verbal
Communication barriers can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of sender,
message, channel, receiver, feedback and context - see the diagram below) and have the potential to create
misunderstanding and confusion.
To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your
goal should be to lessen the frequency of these barriers at each stage of this process with clear, concise,
accurate, well-planned communications.
Why are communication skills important?
The purpose of communication is to get your message across to others. This involves both the sender of the
message and the receiver. This process leaves room for error, with messages often misinterpreted by one or
more of the parties involved. In fact, a message is successful only when both the sender and the receiver
perceive it in the same way
Verbal communication
As a model of communication we have chosen Transactional Analysis which is a powerful tool to bring about
human well being. Using the transactional communicaition model you work with people in a safe, protective,
mutually respectful-OK/OK --- environment..
Transactional Analysis was founded by Eric Berne, and the famous 'parent adult child' theory is still being
developed today.
Presentation : Transactional analysis powerpoint
We can go further into the model as the following models shows:
Parent, Adult and Child
We each have internal models of parents, children and also adults, and we play these roles with one another
in our relationships. We even do it with ourselves, in our internal conversations.
Parent
There are two forms of Parent we can play.
The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned and often may appear as a mother-figure (though men can
play it too). They seek to keep the Child safe and offer unconditional love, calming them when they are
troubled.
The Controlling (or Critical) Parent, on the other hand, tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to
do, perhaps transferring values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. They may
also have negative intent, using the Child as a whipping-boy or worse.
Adult
The Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to
control nor reacting. The Adult is comfortable with themselves and is, for many of us, our 'ideal self'.
Child
There are three types of Child we can play.
The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo,
etc.). They like playing and are open and vulnerable.
The cutely-named Little Professor is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often
much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child.
The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against
the forces they feel.
Communications (transactions)
Case story
When two people communicate, each exchange is a transaction. Many of our problems come from
transactions which are unsuccessful.
Parents naturally speak to Children, as this is their role as a parent. They can talk with other Parents and
Adults, although the subject still may be about the children.
The Nurturing Parent naturally talks to the Natural Child and the Controlling Parent to the Adaptive Child. In
fact these parts of our personality are evoked by the opposite. Thus if I act as an Adaptive Child, I will most
likely evoke the Controlling Parent in the other person.
We also play many games between these positions, and there are rituals from greetings to whole
conversations (such as the weather) where we take different positions for different events. These are often
'pre-recorded' as scripts we just play out. They give us a sense of control and identity and reassure us that
all is still well in the world. Other games can be negative and destructive and we play them more out of
sense of habit and addiction than constructive pleasure.
Conflict
Complementary transactions occur when both people are at the same level. Thus Parent talking to Parent,
etc. Here, both are often thinking in the same way and communication is easy. Problems usually occur in
Crossed transactions, where the other person is at a different level.
The parent is either nurturing or controlling, and often speaks to the child, who is either adaptive or ‘natural’
in their response. When both people talk as a Parent to the other’s Child, their wires get crossed and conflict
results.
The ideal line of communication is the mature and rational Adult-Adult relationship.
So what?
Being a Controlling Parent can get the other person into a Child state where they may conform with your
demands. There is also a risk that they will be an Adaptive 'naughty child' and rebel. They may also take
opposing Parent or Adult states.
If you want to create trust then
· Be a Nurturing Parent or
· Talk at the same level as the other person
· Watch out for crossed wires. This is where conflict arises.
· When it happens, first go to the state that the other person is in to talk at the same level.
· For rational conversation, move yourself and the other person to the Adult level.
Non-verbal communication
Research shows that clues in the nonverbal "channels" of communication (how something is said) are often
more important than words alone (what is said).
There are many different "channels" of nonverbal communication:
· facial expressions
· the clues in our voices ("vocal paralanguage")
· hand gestures
· body movements ("kinesics")
· touch ("haptics"), and personal space
If you want to know more
Watch this 15 minute film about communicating in different ego states.
http://www.teachers.tv/video/5015
Task:
Transaction tasks (see file)
Non-verbal task
1. Every culture has rules about the CORRECT use of space. The ”proxemic” rules are unwritten and never
taught – but they are very powerful and known to all members of the culture.
Question:
What will you do if a person invades your space?
§ Will you ask him/her to move somewhere else?
§ Will you stare at the space ”invader” defiantly, but not move
§ Will you leave saying nothing
2 (5 minutes) Work in pairs
You start telling your partner about an incident you experienced lately. While talking you get closer and
closer to your listener staring him/her into the eyes.
After the 5 minutes you talk with your partner about his/her reactions to your behaviour.
3.2 Active listening
Objective: to understand the art of showing your partner that you are listening and interested in what they
have to say
Outcome: to be able to create an atmosphere in which you listen actively in a way that shows respect to the
other person’s thoughts and feelings
to be able to use verbal and non-verbal encouragers
3.2 Active listening
Hear What People are Really Saying!
Lines of communication must be open between people who rely on one another. In listening actively to your
partner (mentee) you show him/her respect – which is a basic tool to create trust between people.
Here follows a few tips to help you enhance your communications skills to ensure you are an active listener:
Be An Active Listener
People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM), but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 words per
minute. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other
things while listening to someone. The cure for this is active listening - which involves
1. Listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, get the meaning behind the
story, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc.
2. If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their
words mentally as they say it - this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.
3. Use Nonverbal Communication
Use nonverbal behaviors to raise the channel of interpersonal communication. Nonverbal communication is
facial expressions like smiles, gestures, eye contact, and even your posture. This shows the person you are
communicating with that you are indeed listening actively and will prompt further communications while
keeping costly, time-consuming misunderstandings at a minimum.
4. Give Feedback
What someone says and what we hear can be very different! Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments,
and beliefs can distort what we hear. How do we avoid that it happens?
Repeat back or summarize to ensure that you understand.
Restate what you think you heard and ask, "Have I understood you correctly?" If you find yourself responding
emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you
correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX; is that what
you meant?"
By giving a verbal Feedback you demonstrate that you are actively listening and you are confirming the
communications between you and others. Futhermore feedback serves to ensure the communications are
understood which makes it a fantastic tool to use to verify everything you heard while actively listening.
Task:
Pair work: Retell your partner's story
Purpose: To develop your ability to listen actively.
1st version
For 5 minutes A tells a story - fun or sad - which he/she has experienced, or tells about a challenge or a
dilemma.
B listens actively without saying anything or writing anything down.
After 5 minutes B retells A' s story using the "I"-form thus familiarizing himself with the reproduction.
2nd version
B listens actively to A's story. This time B may ask questions along the way. ( B can use open questions)
When you have done one of these activities go to the forum.






Discuss
"How was it to be listened to actively?"
"What happened during the session?"
"How was it to hear another person retell your story?"
"Why is it important to be able to listen actively?"
"What have you learned from this task?"
3.3 Barriers to Communication
Objective: to learn that barriers of various kinds can stand in the way of obtaining a constructive mentorhsip
and that conflicts can be resolved by identifying barriers which might stand in the way of obtaining a
constructive mentorship
Outcome: that you can identify the various barriers to communication and hence use the tool necessary for
the other person to be able to handle his or her own problems
3.3 Barriers to communication
All of us have experienced, at one time or another, the frustration of feeling misunderstood and being unable
to make ourselves understood by another person. The first step toward resolving a conflict is for the mentor
to understand the point of view of his/her mentee. This requires both listening and communication skills
which are different from our typical ways of communicating. Therefore such skills must be learned.
Good communication skills are mutual respect skills. Ideally, each person will show respect for the other as
well as respect for self. You show respect for the other person by listening fully and demonstrating that you
"get" what that person means; and you respect yourself when you assert or "give" your own legitimate selfinterest without aggression. To have a complete communication, each person must both "get" and "give."
Let us look at some of the conversational bad habits which often interfere with full and complete
communication. Anything which blocks the meaning of a communication is a barrier to communication.
These usually fall into one of three categories:
judging
§ sending solutions
§ avoiding the other person's concerns. Some common examples follow:
Criticizing: ”Well, you brought that on yourself.”
Name-calling: ”You bullheaded, stupid jerk.”
Diagnosing: ”You are only saying that because you feel guilty.”
All of these responses judge the other person and therefore impose the speaker's point of view. The other
person will often feel misunderstood and unsafe, and is more likely to react in a defensive or self-protective
manner.

Ordering: "Go fix that right now."
Threatening : "If you don't agree to these terms, I will sue you."
Moralizing: "You ought to apologize to her."
Excessive/appropriate questioning: "When did it happen?" "Are you sorry?"
Advising: "If I were you, this is what I would do..."
Each of the above are attempts to solve the other person's problem. They are variously direct, manipulative,
self-righteous or coercive. Even when caringly intended, the solution is often proffered without a full
understanding of the problem. Such responses may make the problem worse, or create a new issue without
resolving the original problem. They also deminish the other person's capacity to handle his or her own
problems, and are likely to foster anxiety and resentment.
Diverting: "If you think that's bad, let me tell you what happened to me."
Logical argument: "If you leave your keys in the car, you can expect someone to steal it."
Reassuring: "You have the tools to handle this. You'll get over it."
The last three responses avoid the other person's concerns and enable us to keep an emotional distance
from the person or from an uncomfortable topic. By using such responses, we often are trying to make
ourselves feel more comfortable, rather than truly being helpful to the other person.
The barriers to communication listed above do not always have a negative impact on communications.
However, they are high-risk responses when people are interacting under stress. They tend to block the
feeling of the other person, who then is less likely to express his or her true feelings in a constructive way.
Rather than fostering understanding, they may diminish the other's self-esteem, or foster resentment,
defensiveness, withdrawal or dependency in the other, and inhibit their problem solving ability. Unfortunately,
it has been estimated that people use these responses 90% of the time when they are discussing a problem
or need.
Task: Pair Work
 Are there any other barriers to communication other than those listed in the text?
- and if so, which?
3.4 'Problem Solving'.
Objective: to learn that barriers of various kinds can stand in the way of obtaining a constructive mentorhsip
and that conflicts can be resolved by identifying barriers which might stand in the way of obtaining a
constructive mentorship
Outcome: that you can identify the various barriers to communication and hence use the tool necessary for
the other person to be able to handle his or her own problems
3.4 Problem solving
Appreciation
- by extracting maximum information from facts
when or if you run into a problem during the mentor programme between mentor and mentee, here are some
tools to use which is called ” Appreciation ” a very simple technique.
Starting with a problem, ask the question ”And so?” – meaning what are the implications of that fact? and
continue to ask that question until you have drawn all possible inferences.
Key points :
Asking 'and so?' repeatedly helps you to extract all important information implied by a fact.
Fact: ”It is hard to be disabled!”
”And so?”’
”No one wants a disabled person in business?
”And so?”
”I easily let myself be torn apart by that!”
”And so!”
”I do need some support from you to get over that conception””
”OK, let us start from there ……
Task
Pair work:
In pairs each identify a problem you would like to explore. Your partner should then use the questioning
technique to explore different facets of your problem. After that it is your turn to explore your partner's
problem.
3.5 'Questioning'
Objective: to obtain knowledge of various questioning techniques
Outcome: to be aware of when to use the questioning techniques varying them in accordance with the aim
of the conversation.
3.5 'Questioning'
Open - Half-open and Closed questions!
According to what kind of questions you ask you will have different responses to your questions.
Open questions
The good thing about open questions is that unexpected angles may appear. This will give you insight in
your partner's perspective of the world.
Besides open questions give your partner the possibility to find his/her own answers and become aware of
his/her own resources and obstacles.
Open questions make your partner think, investigate and look for an answer within himself/herself.
Examples:


"What made you want to enter the labour market?"
"What experiences do you have from the labour market"?
Half-open questions!
Half-open questions are more steering than the open questions but they still leave room for the mentee's
choice of focus.
Examples:



"What do you think it will give you to have a mentor??"
"Why is it important for you to have a job"?
"What is the most important thing issue for you in xxxxx situation?"
Half-open questions go right to the point in a very efficient and quick way. The advantage of half-open
questions is that you can choose if you want to have specific and detailed information to find out about the
mentee's motivation, purpose and meaning.
Closed questions
You ask closed questions when you want short and concise answers.
The answer to a closed question is often a "yes" or a "no".


"Have you had a mentor before?"
"Was it a good experience?"
These questions are very efficient when you want the mentee to change focus or you want the mentee back
on the track - to continue your open or half-open questions.
Task






Write
Write
Write
What
What
What
the 5 open questions you use most often
the 5 half-open questions you use most often
the 5 closed questions you use most often.
advantages do you see by using open questions?
advantages do you see by using half-open questions?
advantages do you see by using closed questions?
3.6 basic knowledge of legislation affecting disabled people
Objective: to learn about the legislation relating to the category of people you are working with
Outcome: to be able to give information on various paragraphs within disabilities and the job market or have
sufficient knowledge to be able to guide the person the person in charge of this field in the municipality.
Guest teacher
Invite a qualified person to come and put light on the legislation that applies to disabled people in your
country with special emphasis on which legislation is European and which national.
If you want to know more then consult and contribute to the discussions in the VOCA2 Community of
Practice at http://moodle.ghs.dk/course/view.php?id=53
Task
Develop a light-hearted quiz which tests your knowledge of legislation relating to disabled people as
employees in your country.
4. The Role of a mentor
Objective: to achieve knowledge of the typical roles of a mentor
Outcome: as a mentor to be able to define his/her role clear enough for the mentee to act within this
definition
The precise role of a mentor will vary according to the experience and needs of the people involved and it is
important that they discuss and agree on their relationship at an early stage.
But the typical roles include:
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trusted friend
counsellor
guide
advocate
role model
information provider
door opener
As a minimum the mentor should assist with induction, introducing the new person to the work place and
giving information on specific and relevant procedures there. In addition the mentor may have an important
role in providing guidance and support in relation to job requirements and performance. In most mentoring
schemes, it is anticipated that there will come a point when the mentoring relationship will and should end. It
can be suggested that the mentor partners review the agreed focus and ground rules at least annually.
4.1 Building a relationship
In a mentor/mentee relationship we build on
Trust, Positive Contact, and Openness
The trust between you and your mentee is growing when you welcome and keep in confidence
the information your mentee shares with you. Your mentee knows he/she can count on you to
be honest, avoiding any trust-breaking behaviours such as cancelling appointments without
compelling reasons, talking negatively about others, or making excuses about why you don’t
follow through. You’re increasingly sharing more of yourself as the relationship builds up.
In its essence positive contact means meeting another person from his/her perspective of the world .
Matching
What is matching?
of the ways in which you as a mentor can acknowledge or appreciate others is through matching You do so
by matching your body language and tone of voice to that of your mentee’s in a discreet way. By matching
your partner, confidence and openness arise in a natural way, but be aware that you match in a way that
your mentee will not notice.
Task The idea of doing the next exercise is to practice matching.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Form groups of 3 – A, B, and C
A finds a topic that he/she is concerned about and talks about it for 10 minutes
B’s task is to match respectively mismatch A’s body language during the conversation
C is observer an observes if the conversation or the contact changes when matching and/or
mismatching. - C gives feedback after the exercise.
The exercise takes place as an ordinary conversation between A and B.
B can ask questions and converse in a natural way.
A does the talking primarily.
B decides when to match or mismatch
Experiment on it and find the differences.
Change roles
Discuss: What can you match other than body language and tone of voice?
4.2 Setting objectives / action plans
Objective: to know about the steps leading to the fulfillment of goals
Outcome: to be able to encourage your mentee to take action by assisting him in the process towards
his/her goal(s)
4.2 Setting objectives / action plans
”It is difficult to get what you want if you don’t know what you want!”
Goals contribute to personal growth. The first important step for the mentee to take to realize his/her dream
is therefore to set a goal. All the time we set goals – consciously and unconsciously. As a mentee you are
there to support your mentee to become conscious about his/her goals, needs and motivation and also as to
what action has to take place to get there.
As a mentor it is our task to help the mentee to see the goal clearly and to support him/her to find the way
himself/herself to reach there and hence have their dream come true.
Here are some guidelines:
The goal must be:
· Specific
· Measurable
· Meaningful
· Responsible
· Attractive
· Realistic
· Relevant
· Time orientated
Task:
Pair work
In pairs you create an action plan by going through the following steps
1. Outcome = the result
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What is your goal?
What result/outcome do you want?
2. Motivation
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What needs, values will be covered by achieving your goal?
What will it give you to achieve your goal?
Why is it important for you?
How will you feel when you have achieved your goal?
3. Action
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
What is necessary to reach your goal?
What is your specific plan to reach your goal?
What can you do already today to reach your goal?
4.3 Facilitating change
Objective: to recognise barriers standing in the way of change and growth
Outcome: be able to use tools which can help the mentee to grow personally by pass the barriers which
hold him/her back from acting, believing differently.
Change is often difficult because of the beliefs which people have of themselves.
Typical beliefs which disabled people hold include:
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No employer can use somebody like me
I'm not good enough to get a job.
I would like to but I don't think it will work.
I am worth less than others.
I cannot achieve my goal at all.
Employers don't employ disabled people.
The mentor 's role is to try and get the disabled person to recognise these beliefs, recall examples of
previous successes and then use these positive images to promote change.
Task: Choose one of the beliefs from the list. Discuss with your group how you could change the beliefs into
more positive statements.
4.4 Recognising success
Objective: to know the difference between success and failure
Outcome: to be able to help the mentee to see, feel, smell or visualize a success
To avoid repeating the pitfall that ”I am never successful”, or ”Nobody wants a person like me” – it is
important for the disabled person to recognise current successes – minor or major – to establish confidence
in his/her own future.
Task:
In pairs, suggest some ways of celebrating the successes you have had in life – and feel what it feels like to
do so.
Share these ideas with the whole group.
4.5 Empowering/encouraging/motivating disabled people
Objective: to recognise role models who radiate confidence, enthusiasm, content and success
Outcome: to help the mentee to find his/her personal role models in life to mirrow their own inner strength
and motivation
To empower, encourage and motivate disabled people I recommend that we invite people from the
workforce to tell about their way to the job market and how they fulfilled their dreams. This will give the
participants the possibility to ask questions which could generate ideas of how to tackle their own situation.
Task: Prepare for the visit with the assignment below.
Act as if you were some one looking for a way into the job market. Take the opportunity to be curious about
how they succeeded by asking open questions like
What made you want to work?
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What initiatives did you take to get to where you are now?
How did you prepare yourself?
Why is it so important for you?
What made you want it?
What does it mean for you future?
What does it mean for your closest relationships?
How does it make a difference in your life?
You are welcome to invent more questions!
4.6 Expectations and commitments
Objective: to understand that a ”commitment” is an explicit, formal and public declaration
Outcome: to be able to demonstrate the understanding of a commitment by behaviour and attitude.
It is important to adjust and to match the mentee's and the mentor 's expectations to avoid conflicts regarding
unfulfilled expectations on both parties. Therefore it is essential for mentor and mentee to have an open
dialogue to make clear where they stand and what to expect.
At the same time the ability and the will to commit oneself to the mentor programme is likewise an issue
that’s worth discussing. How much you are committed to the programme and how much time and energy you
feel like investing often depends on the degree of motivation.
Task:
1. Dilemma!
You get an invitation to a party, at the same time you have a mentoring appointment. Will you go to the party
or choose your mentor?
2. If lack of commitment becomes questionable – it could be recommendable to take this seriously instead of
avoiding a confrontation.
Ask your mentee questions like
What does it give you to have a mentor?
How do you look upon this mentoring programme that you are part of?
In what way is it important for you to have a mentor?
What support do you need?
How committed are you from a scale from 1-10?
Such questions will make the mentee reflect and consider new possibilities. At the same time it gives him/her
the possibility to take responsibility of his actions.
What other questions could you ask your mentee?
4.7 Record keeping and monitoring
Objective: to enable the mentee to conduct a critical self-study of his/her learning
Outcome: to be able to articulate the quantity and quality of what he/she has learned
It is a good idea to keep some sort of paper or electronic record of your mentoring activities which will
incorporate many of the issues which have been covered so far.
Task:
The attached file is a suggested collection of documents to be filled during the course of the mentoring
period.
How would you amend it to suit your circumstances? If you feel that the documents are acceptable as they
stand please explain how they will fit in with your mentoring activity.
5 Boundaries and responsibilities
5.1 Attachment and bonding
Objective: to recognise the difference between a healthy and not healthy relationship between mentor and
mentee
Outcome: to able to act in a way that is trustworthy and fruitful
More than ever before, in a work environment that is both increasingly stressful and demanding, having a
healthy mentor relationship is of utmost importance.
Starting out with a mentorship and thus being well introduced into all areas relevant for the mentee means
that the possibility of keeping the new-comer at the workplace is more likely to happen.
The relationship which is being built up between mentor and mentee should be of a healthy character and
not a relationship which binds them together for ever.
As the mentor is the person who is responsible for having the mentee implemented in the workforce and
introduced to his/her various work areas a special relationship might easily arise between them.
The problem is when it leads to passitivity on part of the mentee and not to his/her independence.
Task:
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What do you understand by a healthy/unhealthy relationship?
How can a healthy relationship develop?
5.2 Disclosure
Objective: to raise the awareness and understanding of the importance laid on ”soft” skills, behaviour,
empathy, cooperation and inter-group development and interperonal development.
Outcome: to be able and willing to reveal the amount of information necessary to create a sound,
prosperous, and healthy work environment.
The Johari Window has been developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, and the word “Johari” comes
from Jo seph Luft and Har ry I ngham. There are two key ideas behind the tool:
1. That individuals can build trust by disclosing information about themselves; and
2. That they can learn about themselves and come to terms with personal issues with the help of feedback
from others.
Explaining the idea of the Johari Window to your team, you can help them understand the value of selfdisclosure, and gently encourage people to give and accept feedback.
It should not be necessary to add that of course this is to be done sensitively – and the outcome of that
proces is the building of more-trusting relationships with one another, solve issues and work more effectively.
See Johari file
See Johari Powerpoint
Task: Discuss with your partner reasons for giving and receiving feedback.
5.3 The mentoring contract
Objective: understand the importance of making out a contract to clarify and agree on expectations to
mutual satisfaction on both sides.
Outcome: to work out a mentor contract adjusted to fit the situation
The mentor contract
There is no right way to mentor. Every mentoring relationship is as unique as the individuals involved in it.
However, no matter who the individuals are or what shape the relationship takes, completing some
groundwork can help create a stronger and more productive relationship. This section reviews the issues
that mentors and mentees should consider as they prepare to engage in a mentoring relationship.
One of the groundworks to be done could be to make out a mentor contract. Such a mentor contract
specifies both expectations on part of the mentor as well as the mentee.
The mentor contract should be tailor-made between the two parties (mentor and mentee) to suit their
particular needs and expectations. So agreeing on the terms of a mentoring relationship is not simply and
solely about drawing up a formal written agreement—which, of course is useful. Instead the goal is to ensure
both partners understand why they are working together, what they want to accomplish, and how they are
going to reach the desired result. Setting the terms for the relationship in some detail at an initial face-to-face
meeting will make the relationship stronger and more productive.
An appropriate aspect about a mentor contract is that mentor can present documentation to his/her
employer considering the amount of time dedicated to the job so that the mentor job is included in the
mentor's weekly working hours. It is important that both management and staff recognise this valuable work.
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Task: Take a look at this suggested contract and how to use it.
How well would it fit in your situation? Would you suggest any amendments?
6 The World of Work
6.1 Your CV
6.2
Preparation for job interview
Before you attend a job interview it is important to learn about the company’s culture and policies:
 Search for information about the company from its web site on the internet.
 Ring the company and request material concerning the organisation
 Ring the contact person named in the job advertisement and ask for further information.
Prepare yourself psychologically for your interview
The thought of a job interview where you will have to ‘sell yourself’ can be very stressful for many
people. This is a completely normal reaction. It can seem like pressure that others are going to judge
whether you are good enough for a job that you really want for example.
It is however important to reduce your stress and nervousness before the job interview. Stress can
be prevented by making a list of what you have achieved and what you think you have done well up
to now.
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Considering, possibly with others, whether the job is right for you.
You have used time in the preparation and production of a great application and attached
CV. The application was sent in good time before the deadline.
You imagine yourself attending the interview appropriately dressed. Consider once more
what type of clothing will be appropriate for the work environment of that specific
company. Should your hair be short and recently cut or is it a job in an advertising agency
where the style is more relaxed?
You have prepared your own questions about the company and the job and have gone
through how you would answer the interviewer’s questions.
Practical preparation for the interview
Bring the following to the interview:
 The job advertisement
 A copy of your application and CV complete with attachments
 Copies of references to deliver during the interview
The meeting from a psychological point of view
In meetings with new people it often only takes 15 seconds before we decide whether there is good
chemistry between us or not. The first impression is body language, facial expressions including eye
contact and tone of voice. Make sure:
 To be yourself
 To be relaxed (steady breathing)
 Look at the person you’re talking to and maintain eye contact
Many organisations use several people to pick applicants. When you attend an interview there can
therefore be several people from the organisation present at selection events for new employees. In
this situation it is often best to greet every person with a handshake and eye contact and wait to be
told where you should sit at the table.
The interview itself
Interviews usually start with some small talk. The interviewer then usually takes the lead in starting
the formal part of the interview. At this point it may be a good idea to inform the panel that you
have some questions you wish to be answered later. To ensure an effective interview, the dialogue
should include
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Two way communication
Time for short breaks for reflection on the questions posed
Eye contact
A certain degree of relaxation
An appropriate measure of humour
Accept tea, coffee and snacks if you feel like it otherwise feel able to refuse. Avoid smoking
during the interview.
As a job seeker, you should be active during the job interview
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Ask wh- questions, when, what, why and so on.
Request for a more detailed job description
The organisation. Who is the contact person?
Your predecessors and their reasons for leaving
Possibilities for meeting prospective colleagues and managers.
The company’s personnel policy (pay, internal training, welfare and so on)
Pay
Starting date
Work times (overtime, time off in lieu etc)
Likely future developments in both the job and the company
What is the biggest challenge in the job?
Quality assurance and success criteria in the company
How many applicants are there in addition to yourself for the job?
The interviewer is likely to ask some of the following questions
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Why are you applying for this job?
Describe your strengths and weaknesses
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Would you be prepared to fill in a psychological test?
Do you have a specific interest in the company?
Your future ambitions
Tell a little about your background and upbringing.
Explain the training and education you have taken
Describe how you got on professionally and socially in previous jobs
What can you contribute to this vacancy?
What expectations do you have regarding your pay?
What expectations do you have regarding other fringe benefits
How do your family and friends view you?
Tell about what you do in your free time, your interests and hobbies.
Describe your family situation, spouse, children and others
When could you start work?
End of the interview
The interviewer has probably a great deal of experience and will guide you through the interview. It
is the interviewer who will signal that the interview is over. At this point you will be informed
about how and when you can expect to be contacted about the result or the need for a second
interview. Remember:
 Shake hands and express the hope to be contacted
 Eye contact
In case of rejection
Even though you have produced an exemplary application and presented yourself well, it is possible
that there were many applicants and you are therefore not given the job. If you don’t get the job
then it is often a good idea to ring the interviewer and ask for the reasons. Personnel or Human
Resource staff are usually happy to give feedback on interview performance and are often able to
give good advice which can be used for the next application. This applies even when one is
applying for a job in a company.