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Chapter 14 Attachment Theory Bowlby defined attachment as a strong affectional tie that binds a person to an intimate companion Attachment is also a behavioral system through which humans regulate their emotional distress when under threat and achieve security by seeking proximity to another person Both adults and infants have behaviors that promote the formation of attachments Babies will follow (proximity-seeking behavior), Suck and cling, Smile and vocalize Express negative emotions such as fretting and crying Adults respond to infants’ signals The hormone oxytocin promotes attachment Bowlby proposed that through their interactions with caregivers, infants construct expectations about relationships in the form of internal working models Cognitive representations of themselves and other people that guide the processing of social information and behavior in relationships Securely attached infants who have received responsive care will form internal working models suggesting that they are lovable and that other people can be trusted to care for them Insecurely attached infants subjected to insensitive, neglectful, or abusive care may conclude that they are difficult to love, that other people are unreliable, or both Peers and the Two Worlds of Childhood A peer is a social equal, someone who functions at a similar level of behavioral complexity, often someone of similar age Peer relationships have developmental value Peers help children learn that relationships are reciprocal Peers force children to hone their social perspective-taking skills Peers contribute to social-cognitive and moral development in ways that parents cannot Henry Stack Sullivan believed that social needs change as we get older and are gratified through different kinds of social relationships at different ages Until about age 6, the parent-child relationship is central for providing tender care and nurturance Then peers become increasingly important At first, children need playmates Then they need acceptance by the peer group Then around age 9 to 12, children begin to need intimacy in the form of a close friendship Sullivan stressed the developmental significance of these chumships, or close childhood friendships Having a close friend or chum teaches children to take others’ perspectives, validates and supports children, and can protect them from the otherwise harmful effects of a poor parent-child relationship or rejection by the larger peer group Chumships also teach children how to participate in emotionally intimate relationships and can pave the way for romantic relationships during adolescence The Infant – Early Emotional Development The development of primary emotions At birth, babies show contentment (by smiling), interest (by staring intently at objects), and distress (by grimacing in response to pain or discomfort) By 3 months of age, contentment becomes joy or excitement at the sight of something familiar (smile because of mom) Interest becomes surprise, such as when expectations are violated in games of peek-a-boo Distress soon evolves into a range of negative emotions, such as disgust (in response to foul-tasting foods) and sadness 4 months (angry expressions appear), 5 months (fear) The secondary or self-conscious emotions require an awareness of self and begin to emerge around 18 months At 18 months, infants begin to show embarrassment Around age 2, when they are able to judge their behavior against standards of performance, the selfconscious emotions of pride, shame, and guilt emerge At approximately 1year, infants begin to use social referencing They monitor their companions’ emotional reactions in ambiguous situations and use this information to decide how they should feel and behave If their mothers are wary when a stranger approaches, so are they; if their mothers smile at the stranger, so may they Infants are especially attentive to stimuli that provoke negative emotional reactions such as fear or anger in their caregivers, as if they know that these emotions are warning signals Infants must develop strategies for emotional regulation The processes involved in initiating, maintaining, and altering emotional responses Infants develop the capacity for emotional regulation over time Very young infants are able to reduce their negative arousal by turning from unpleasant stimuli or by sucking vigorously on a pacifier By the end of the first year, infants can also regulate their emotions by rocking themselves, moving away from upsetting events, or actively seeking attachment figures who will calm them By 18 to 24 months, toddlers will try to control the actions of people and objects (for example, by pushing the offending person or object away) They are able to cope with the frustration of waiting for snacks and gifts by playing with toys and otherwise distracting themselves They have been observed knitting their brows or compressing their lips in an attempt to suppress their anger or sadness Finally, as children gain the capacity for symbolic thought and language, they become able to regulate their distress symbolically (for example, by repeating “Mommy coming soon”) The development of emotion regulation skills is influenced by both an infant’s temperament and a caregiver’s behavior When infants are very young and have few emotion regulation strategies of their own, they rely heavily on caregivers (who can stroke or rock them when they are distressed) With age, infants gain control of emotion regulation strategies first learned in the context of the parentchild relationship and can regulate their emotions on their own Children who are not able to get a grip on their negative emotions tend to experience stormy relationships with both caregivers and peers and are at risk to develop behavior problems The Infant – An Attachment Forms The caregiver forms an attachment to the infant: Often before birth The infant possesses a repertoire of behaviors such as sucking, grasping, rooting, and smiling Because babies are responsive Caregivers and infants develop synchronized routines, they take turns responding to each other Parent-infant synchrony contributes to a secure attachment relationship and to later self-regulation and empathy The infant forms an attachment to the caregiver in the following phases Undiscriminating social responsiveness (birth to 2 or 3 months) Infants respond to voices, faces, and other stimuli, especially humans They do not yet show a clear preference for any one person Discriminating social responsiveness (2 or 3 months to 6 or 7 months) Infants begin to express preferences for familiar companions, but they are still friendly toward strangers Active proximity seeking or true attachment (6 or 7 months to about 3 years) Infants form their first clear attachments, most often to their mothers Goal-corrected partnership (3 years and older) Children adjust their behavior in order to maintain proximity to the attachment figure Separation anxiety Once attached to a parent, a baby often becomes wary or fretful when separated from that parent Separation anxiety normally appears when infants are forming their first genuine attachments, peaks between 14 and 18 months, and gradually becomes less frequent and less intense Stranger anxiety Once attached to a parent, a baby often experiences a wary or fretful reaction to the approach of an unfamiliar person Anxious reactions to strangers become common between 8 and 10 months, continue through the first year, and gradually decline in intensity over the second year The Infant – Quality of Attachment Secure attachment About 60-65% of 1-year-olds in our society are securely attached to their mothers or primary caregivers The securely attached infant actively explores the room when alone with his mother because she serves as a secure base The infant may be upset by separation but greets his mother warmly and is comforted by her presence when she returns When his mother is present, the securely attached child is outgoing with a stranger Resistant attachment (also called anxious/ambivalent attachment) About 10% of 1-year-olds show a resistant attachment, an insecure attachment characterized by anxious, ambivalent reactions The resistant infant does not venture off to play even when his mother is present, probably because she is not a secure base for exploration Yet this infant becomes distressed when his mother departs, perhaps because he is uncertain whether she will return When his mother returns, the infant is ambivalent: he may try to remain near her but seems to resent her for having left, may resist if she tries to make physical contact, and may even hit and kick her in anger Resistant infants are also wary of strangers, even when their mothers are present Avoidant attachment Up to 15% of 1-year-olds have avoidant attachments They seem uninterested in exploring, show little apparent distress when separated from their mothers, and avoid contact or seem indifferent when their mothers return Insecurely attached infants are not particularly wary of strangers but sometimes avoid or ignore them, much as they avoid or ignore their mothers Avoidant infants seem to have distanced themselves from their parents Disorganized-disoriented attachment Up to 15% of infants (more in high-risk families) display a disorganized-disoriented form of attachment This form of attachment seems to be associated with later emotional problems When infants with disorganized-disoriented attachment are reunited with their mothers after a separation, they may act dazed and freeze or lie immobilized on the floor Alternatively, they may seek contact but then abruptly move away as their mothers approach them, only to seek contact again Infants with a disorganized-disoriented attachment appear to have been unable to devise a consistent strategy for regulating negative emotions such as separation anxiety In the classic study conducted by Harry Harlow and Robert Zimmerman (1959), infant monkeys were fed by a wire “mother” or by a cuddly, cloth-covered “mother” All the infant monkeys demonstrated preference for the terrycloth “mother,” even when their food came from the wire mother Harlow’s research demonstrated that contact comfort is a more powerful contributor to attachment in monkeys than feeding Styles of parenting strongly influence attachment Securely attached infants have parents who are sensitive and responsive to their needs and emotional signals Babies with a resistant pattern of attachment often have parents who are inconsistent in their caregiving Infants with an avoidant attachment have parents who tend to provide either too little or too much stimulation The disorganized-disoriented style of attachment is evident in as many as 80% of infants who have been physically abused or maltreated Infants contribute to the formation of the attachment Infants must acquire some concept of person permanence (a form of Piaget’s object permanence concept) before they can form an attachment An infant’s temperament influences attachment Attachments tend to be insecure when infants are by temperament fearful, irritable, or unresponsive The caregiver’s style of parenting and the infant’s temperament often interact to determine the attachment outcome The broader social context affects attachment Poverty and marital difficulties are stressful, can interfere with parents’ abilities to provide sensitive care, and may contribute to insecure attachments The cultural context also influences parenting and the meanings of attachment In Western, individualistic cultures, such as Germany, optimal development means becoming an autonomous being In Eastern, collectivist cultures, such as Japan, the goal is to become integrated into the group The Infant –Implications of Early Attachment Some infants experience social deprivation and never have an opportunity to form an attachment Researchers have found that infants who spent their first 6 months or more in deprived orphanages displayed eating problems and medical problems and showed delays in physical, cognitive, and social-emotional development Rapid recovery was evident once the children were adopted, and some children overcame their developmental problems However, many children institutionalized for more than 6 months never achieved normal levels of cognitive development, possibly because they lacked the intellectual stimulation necessary for normal brain development Studies of Romanian children who experienced early deprivation showed that the longer the deprivation, the less likely were they to form secure attachments and the more likely they were to show a disturbed pattern of behavior called disinhibited attachment Involves indiscriminate friendliness, lack of appropriate wariness of strangers, and difficulty participating in real, reciprocal social interactions What is it about deprived early environments that damages development? Lack of stable caregivers and stable attachment relationships Lack of proper nutrition, hygiene, and medical care Lack of stimulation The negative effects of living in a large residential institution can be prevented by placing institutionalized children in small groups with a few, consistent caregivers who interact with the children in a caring manner Many infants experience separation from their caregivers Infants who are permanently separated from a caregiver normally recover if they are able to maintain or form an attachment with someone else The earlier the separation takes place, the better Children who experience a series of separations from caregivers (such as children in foster care) may be permanently affected by their repeated experiences of loving and losing people Results from the NICHD ECCRN study Infants who experienced routine care by someone other than their mothers were not much different than infants cared for almost exclusively by their mothers in the various developmental outcomes studied Infants who received alternative forms of care (even 20+ hours per week) were no less securely attached to their mothers overall than infants who were tended by their mothers Quality of parenting was a much stronger influence on these infants’ attachment security and development than daycare experience Results from the NICHD ECCRN study continued Children’s developmental outcomes were affected by the quality of their daycare, as measured in terms of sensitive caregiving and cognitive and language stimulation Children who spent a good deal of time in quality daycare performed better than home-reared children on measures of cognitive and language skills and some measures of social skills However, they also tended to display more behavior problems The home environment interacts with quality of the daycare environment to influence outcomes For example, infants fared poorly if their mothers were insensitive and unresponsive and they were subjected to poor-quality daycare, too Infants who received either good parenting or good daycare were usually securely attached Do early attachment experiences make a difference later in life? Securely attached infants turn into preschool children whom teachers describe as curious, selfdirected, and eager to learn Insecurely attached children are less independent Children who had been securely attached as infants are also more socially competent – more able to initiate play activities, sensitive to the needs and feelings of other children, and popular Secure attachment in infancy is linked to positive emotional development and the capacity to cope with stress and regulate emotions in childhood Are the effects of attachment in infancy permanent? Researchers found that children who enjoyed secure relationships with their parents continue to be well adjusted in late childhood and adolescence In a longitudinal study, Simpson and colleagues (2007) linked secure attachment in the Strange Situation at 12 months of age to the quality of a child’s peer relations in elementary school, which in turn predicted quality of friendships in adolescence, which in turn predicted the emotional quality of romantic relationships in early adulthood Affectionate ties to fathers or other family members can compensate for insecure mother-infant relationships Attachment quality changes, and early attachments may have no long-term consequences if they change later – if stressful life events such as divorce and illness convert secure attachments into insecure ones, or if positive life changes make insecure attachments more secure Internal working models are subject to revision based on later social experiences The Infant – First Peer Relations Infants show an interest in other babies from an early age and show capacities for sharing, cooperation, and sympathy in their first year Infants begin to interact with peers in earnest in about the middle of the first year Smile or babble at their companions, vocalize, offer toys, and gesture to one another; may share toys nicely or may squabble Can relate meaningfully in groups of three Around 18 months, infants are able to engage in simple forms of reciprocal, complementary play with peers Can adopt and reverse roles in their play: the toddler who receives a toy may immediately offer a toy in return, or the one who has been the chaser will become the chasee Toward the end of the second year, infants have become proficient at turn-taking and reciprocal exchange, especially if they are securely attached to their parents The Child – Play Play generally is defined as activities that do not have an obvious or direct purpose or use Scholars recognize four types of children’s play Locomotor play (games of tag or ball) Object play (stacking blocks, making crafts) Social play (mutual imitation or playing board games) Pretend play (enacting roles) According to Parten (1932), from age 2 to age 5, play becomes increasingly social and socially skilled Unoccupied play – children stand idly, look around, or engage in apparently aimless activities such as pacing Solitary play – children play alone, typically with objects, and appear to be highly involved in what they are doing Onlooker play – children watch others play, take an active interest, perhaps talk with the players, but do not directly participate Parallel play – children play next to one another, do much the same thing, but they interact little (for example, two girls might sit near each other in the sandbox but do not talk) Associative play – children interact by swapping materials, conversing, or following each other’s lead, but they are not united by the same goal (for example, the two girls may share sandbox toys and comment on each other’s sand structures) Cooperative play – children join forces to achieve a common goal; they act as a pair or group, dividing their labor and coordinating their activities in a meaningful way (for example, the two girls collaborate to make a sand castle) The Child – Peer Acceptance and Popularity Using sociometric techniques, children may be classified into the following categories of social status Popular – well liked by most and rarely disliked Rejected – rarely liked and often disliked Neglected – neither liked nor disliked (isolated children who seem to be invisible to their classmates) Controversial – liked by many but also disliked by many (the fun-loving child with leadership skills who also bullies peers and starts fights) Average – in the middle on both the liked and disliked scales Popularity is affected by personal characteristics that a child typically cannot change Physical attractiveness, Intelligence, Social competence (successful use of social-cognitive skills in initiating social interactions, responding positively to peers, resolving interpersonal conflicts smoothly), Well-regulated emotions Rejected children may be characterized by High levels of aggression Tendency to social isolation, submissiveness, over-sensitivity to teasing, seen as “easy to push around” Neglected children may be characterized as Having reasonably good social skills Nonaggressive Tendency to be shy, withdrawn, and unassertive Controversial children often show good social skills and leadership qualities, like popular children, but they are also viewed as aggressive bullies, like many rejected children What are the outcomes of childhood social status? Children who are neglected by peers often gain greater acceptance later Socially withdrawn children whose social anxiety keeps them from interacting with peers and exposes them to victimization by peers are at risk for a variety of negative outcomes Children who are rejected, usually because of aggressive behavior, are likely to maintain their rejected status from grade to grade Rejected children may end up even more poorly adjusted as a result of the experience of being rejected Their self-esteem suffers, they lose opportunities to learn social skills, they develop negative attitudes toward others, they are negatively influenced by the other antisocial children they end up hanging out with, and their academic performance suffers The Child – Friendships Friendships have developmental importance for children Having friends increases the odds that a child will be happy and socially competent If the peers are well adjusted and supportive Having friends reduces the odds that a child will be lonely and depressed But not if the friends are antisocial or depressed Chumships pave the way for romantic relationships in adolescence Friends provide social support and comfort that can help children weather stressful events such as parents’ divorce True friends become attachment figures The Adolescent – Friendships Friendships change qualitatively with age, being based upon Enjoyment of common activities in early childhood Mutual loyalty and caring in late childhood Intimacy and self-disclosure in adolescence Teens form friendships with peers who are similar to them The same ethnic background Similar psychological qualities (interests, attitudes, values, and personalities) In adolescence, friends are like-minded individuals who confide in each other In a study of 5th to 11th graders, Sharabany and colleagues; Same-sex friendships were reported to feature aspects of intimacy such as spontaneity, trust, loyalty, sensitivity to the other’s feelings, and attachment Cross-sex friendships did not attain a high level of intimacy until 11th grade (supports Sullivan’s view) Girls tended to report higher degrees of intimacy in their friendships than boys did Girls achieved emotional intimacy in their cross-sex relationships at earlier ages However, girls spend time in co-rumination, excessive discussion of personal problems with a friend The Adolescent –Changing Social Networks Dunphy (1963) described five stages of change in peer-group structures during adolescence in preparation for dating In late childhood, boys and girls become members of same-sex cliques, or small friendship groups, and have little to do with the other sex Boy cliques and girl cliques then begin to interact Same-sex cliques provide a secure base for romantic relationships (for an adolescent boy, talking to a girl at the mall with his friends and her friends is far less threatening than doing so on his own) The most popular boys and girls form a heterosexual clique As less popular peers also form mixed-sex cliques, a new peer-group structure, the crowd, completes its evolution The crowd is a collection of several heterosexual cliques The crowd is central to arranging organized social activities, such as parties, and provides opportunities to get to know members of the other sex as friends and as potential romantic partners Couples form, and the crowd disintegrates in late high school The crowd served its purpose of bringing boys and girls together The Adolescent – Dating Brown (1999), adolescent relationships evolve through four phases Initiation phase – in early adolescence, the focus is on the self To see oneself as a person capable of relating to members of the other sex in a romantic way Status phase – in mid-adolescence, having a romantic relationship with the “right kind” of partner is important for the status it brings in the larger peer group Affection phase – in late adolescence, the focus is on the relationship Romantic relationships become more personal, caring relationships Bonding phase – in the transition to early adulthood, the emotional intimacy achieved in the affection phase is connected to a long-term commitment to create a lasting attachment bond How does dating affect adolescent adjustment/development? Dating typically has more positive than negative effects on development It can compensate for a poor relationship with parents Involvement in a steady relationship is good for self-esteem (although breakups hurt self-esteem and can lead to depression) Adolescents who date tend to be better adjusted overall than those who do not However, dating at an early age appears to have more negative than positive effects on social/emotional adjustment Troubled adolescents start dating early Early daters get hurt and/or become involved in problem behavior such as drinking and drug use before their time The Adult – Social Networks Researchers have proposed that each of us has a social convoy – a social network and support system that accompanies us during our life Provides social support in the form of aid, affection, and affirmation In the beginning, our convoy consists of our parents The convoy expands over the years as others (family, partners, colleagues) join it but then typically shrinks in later life According to Carstensen (1992), the shrinking social convoy of adulthood is explained by socioemotional selectivity theory A choice older adults make to better meet their emotional needs once they perceive the time left to them as short Older adults to put less emphasis on the goal of acquiring knowledge for future use and more emphasis on the goal of fulfilling current emotional needs Consequently, older adults actively choose to narrow their range of social partners to those who bring them emotional pleasure, usually family members and close friends, and they let other social relationships fall by the wayside According to research, older adults lead rich and rewarding emotional lives and are able to experience and express their emotions fully and regulate them effectively Older adults’ achievement of their emotional gratification goals may be explained an element of information processing, the positivity effect Paying more attention to, better remembering, and putting more priority on positive information than on negative information The Adult – Romantic Relationships Explanations for mate selection Evolutionary theorists suggest that men are more likely than women to emphasize physical attractiveness in a partner, whereas women put more emphasis then men on a potential mate’s resources and social status Attractiveness may have signaled our ancestors that a woman is healthy and able to reproduce and raise children Signs of wealth, dominance, and status in the community may signal that a man can support and protect a wife and children Filter theories suggest that mate selection is a process in which we progress through a series of filters leading us from all possible partners to one partner in particular Early in an acquaintance, similarities in physical appearance, race, education, socioeconomic status, religion, and the like serve as the first filters and provides a basis for dating At the next level of filter, partners may disclose more about themselves and look for similarity in inner qualities such as values, attitudes, beliefs, and personality traits If they continue to find themselves compatible, their relationship may survive; if not, it may end However, scholars do not agree on how many filters there might be in mate selection Also, mate selection does not appear to unfold in a stagelike manner as filter theories suggest According to researchers, the greatest influence on mate selection is homogamy, or similarity Once homogamy is assured, people may also prefer partners who complement them in some way, bringing strengths to the relationship that compensate for their own weaknesses The saying “birds of a feather flock together” has far more validity than the saying “opposites attract” when it comes to mate selection Partner choice works similarly in gay and lesbian relationships as in heterosexual relationships Sternberg (1988, 2006) developed the triangular theory of love to explain different types of love based upon the strength of the three components of passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment Passion – sexual attraction, romantic feelings, and excitement Intimacy – feelings of warmth, caring, closeness, trust, and respect in the relationship Decision/commitment – involves first deciding that one loves the other person and then committing to a long-term relationship The Adult – Attachment Styles Researchers have used attachment theory and the concept of the internal working model of relationships to examine adult romantic relationships Four attachment styles may result, according to whether the self and view of other people is either positive or negative Secure, Preoccupied, Dismissing, Fearful Attachment styles can also be described in terms of two dimensions Anxiety – extent of concern about the availability and responsiveness of partners Avoidance – extent of discomfort being intimate with and depending on a partner Adults with a secure working model feel good about both themselves and others They are not afraid of entering intimate relationships or of being abandoned once they do People with a preoccupied internal working model have a positive view of other people but feel unlovable Adults with a dismissing style of attachment have a positive view of self but do not trust other people and dismiss the importance of close relationships Adults with a fearful internal working model resemble infants with a disorganized-disoriented attachment They take a dim view of both themselves and others and display a confusing, unpredictable mix of neediness and fear of closeness According to research studies, internal working models of self and other formed on the basis of parentchild interactions affect the quality of later relationships Adults who had experienced sensitive maternal care in infancy had more positive mental representations of their romantic relationships than did other adults The quality of the parent-child attachment, especially after infancy, predicted the quality of an adult’s romantic relationship A secure attachment at 1 year of age was linked, in turn, to social competence in childhood, close friendships in adolescence, and an emotionally positive romantic relationship in early adulthood Researchers find that adults’ internal working models also can predict the quality of relationships The internal working model predicts the extent to which adults have the confidence and curiosity to explore and master their environments A secure attachment style in adulthood is associated with strong achievement motivation and a focus on mastering challenges as opposed to avoiding failure Securely attached adults also enjoy their work and are good at it Internal working models also affect an adult’s capacity for caregiving, particularly for being a sensitive and responsive parent Attachment styles have been shown to have a bearing on adjustment in old age Older adults who recall loving relationships with their parents during childhood tend to have better physical and mental health than those who recall unsupportive relationships Attachment styles affect how older adults (and people of any age) react to loss of an attachment figure; bereaved people with a secure attachment style appear to fare best The Adult – Friendships The quality and nature of friendships varies across adulthood Young adults typically have more friends than older adults do Even very old adults usually have one or more close friends and are in frequent contact with their friends Men and women generally have similar expectations of friends, but women tend to place greater emphasis on these intimate relationships Friendships can become strained as older adults begin to develop significant health problems and disabilities In late life, significant health problems and disabilities can result in one friend needing help more than the other Equity, the balance of contributions and gains, is an important influence upon satisfaction in relationships A person who receives more than he gives is likely to feel guilty A person who gives a great deal and receives little in return may feel angry or resentful Consistent with equity theory, involvement in relationships in which the balance of emotional support given and received is unequal is associated with lower emotional well-being and more symptoms of depression than involvement in more balanced relationships Overbenefited, or dependent, friends are often more distressed than underbenefited, or support-giving, friends Being able to help other people, or at least to reciprocate help, tends to boost the self-esteem and reduce the depressive symptoms of elderly adults The Adult – Adult Relationships and Adult Development Meaningful social relationships foster normal cognitive, social, and emotional development in adulthood A person’s sense of well-being or life satisfaction is affected by the quality – rather than the quantity – of her social relationships Perceived social support is more important than the social support actually received The size of an adult’s social network is not nearly as important as whether it includes at least one confidant-A spouse, relative, or friend to whom the individual feels especially attached and with whom thoughts and feelings can be shared Social support, especially from family members, has positive effects on the cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems, improves the body’s ability to cope with stress and illness, and contributes to better physical and cognitive functioning and a longer life, especially in old age Research by Cacioppo and others (2008) concluded that humans have evolved to be with other people and that isolation and loneliness wear the body down, affecting genes, stress hormones, and the brain in ways that speed the aging process